


777 Ways

by ShoujoCamui



Category: GOT7
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attraction, Bad Decisions, Bartenders, Beating, Bigotry & Prejudice, Blackmail, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Broken Engagement, Cheating, Closeted Character, Corruption, Crimes & Criminals, Cruelty, Danger, Death, Denial of Feelings, Derogatory Language, Dirty Talk, Domestic Violence, Drama & Romance, Drinking Games, Drugs, Dry Humping, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Repressed, Estrangement, Excessive Drinking, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Family Secrets, Fetish, Fights, Forced Prostitution, Friendship, Gangsters, Gay Sex, Graphic Description, Heavy Petting, Heterosexuality, Homophobia, Hurt No Comfort, Illegal Activities, Illnesses, Inappropriate Behavior, Insecurity, Intrigue, Lies, Light BDSM, Love/Hate, M/M, Male Bonding, Misery, Multi, No Fluff, Non-Consensual Touching, Out of Character, Pain, Past Abuse, Peril, Physical Abuse, Poverty, Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements, Repaying Debt, Revenge, Rough Sex, Sadism, Same-Sex Marriage, Self-Denial, Sex Trafficking, Slash, Smut, Stalking, Suicide, Suspense, Swearing, Taboo, Tears, The Author Regrets Nothing, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Torture, Trauma, Twisted, Unsafe Sex, Violence, Weapons, Writing, Xenophobia, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:07:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 60
Words: 274,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25529398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShoujoCamui/pseuds/ShoujoCamui
Summary: Jinyoung was unable to overcome writer's block. He had his own revenge story to work on in real life. The author created for himself a plot in which hatred and love shared the same road, the same body, the same address, and the same name, Mark Tuan. A supposed suicide note that encouraged Jinyoung to take justice in his own hands, ended up leading him to a web of violence, intrigues, crime and passion.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Kim Yugyeom, Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Comments: 371
Kudos: 185





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This one is unsafe for the fainthearted.  
> Some members of Got7 can be pretty nasty.  
> Your Ahgase heart might be crushed sometimes... Most of the time!  
> This is no place for fluff. I'm not sorry. My bad!  
> Read the tags. U have been warned.  
> It is going to get worse before it gets better.  
> English is not my first language. You may find horrid grammar and other mistakes.  
> Good luck, and if you can, have fun!:)

**Introduction**

Park Jinyoung is a famous writer in South Korea. His books sold millions of copies in his country. His works were translated in several different languages all over the world. The prolific 25-year-old author had achieved what many in his field only dreamed to accomplish, live off his writing. He made a fortune with his own hands, his unique creativity, overzealous dedication, and luck. What his loyal readers do not know is that he had put his career on hold to execute a revenge. A revenge on the man who had caused his sister's demise. His older sister Soo-Young had taken her own life while joining a PhD program in the University of California a couple of years ago. Soo-Young was 4 months pregnant when she hung herself. Her family just learned about the child after her autopsy. None of the Parks knew the reason why the young woman decided to end her life, but a note, which Jinyoung found years after her death, supposedly clarified all his doubts regarding her suicide. As Jinyoung pretends to find inspiration for his next novel, he starts to lose himself in his own narrative, with the unconditional help of his late sister’s fiancé, Jackson Wang. Sooner or later, Park Jinyoung will have to make a difficult decision, between heaven and hell. And at the end of the day, he will have to live with the consequences of his choice.

Lim Jaebeom, Jinyoung’s friend and editor, is married to the publicist Choi Youngjae. The 26-year-old Korean is the one who made Jinyoung see how successful he could be. Although he’s a very hard-working man, Lim always puts family and friends first, and he can’t help but worry about Jinyoung’s career now, since the writer decided to go through a long hiatus, leaving thousands of fans waiting for the sequel of his latest bestselling novel. 

Choi Youngjae is Jaebeom’s husband. The 23-year-old publicist met Lim when he started working at Team Wang. Coincidentally, he went to the same school as Jinyoung. Youngjae sounds, acts and looks like the ideal life partner. However, well, looks can be deceiving.

Kim Yugyeom is Jinyoung’s cousin. Although he seems to be a 22-year-old laid-back young man, he is very generous and caring. In his family, he’s the only one who knows about his cousin’s homosexuality. He is also gay, and he is not afraid to stand up for what he think is right. He doesn’t have a job, nor intends to go to college either. He only dreams to be a K-pop idol.

Jackson Wang is the owner of Team Wang Publishing Co., Ltd. The 26-years-old Chinese wealthy young man was engaged to SooYoung, Jinyoung’s late sister. Jackson is the one who’s backing up Jinyoung’s revenge plan. Jaebeom and Youngjae work in his company. The company publishes original Korean works, and also cooperates with major international publishers and literary agencies to publish English, Chinese and other titles in South Korea. Jinyoung’s books were all published by Team Wang.

Mark Tuan Yi-en is Jackson and Jinyoung’s main target. He’s a villain in the author’s story, the one to blame for SooYoung’s suicide. Mark is a 27-year-old American-Taiwanese bartender who makes awesome cocktails, but that’s not all he is. Besides the art of serving drinks to customers, his old uncle also taught him the dangerous procedures of drug dealing. Mark was also educated in several other illegal activities. He is connected with a dangerous gangster who’s in jail, but the nature of their relationship is still uncertain. Mark’s life is surrounded by crime, but it wasn’t always like this.

Kunpimook Bhuwakul, A.K.A Bambam, is a 23-year-old, outgoing and lively Thai young man. He is Mark’s roommate, best friend and co-worker. He had a difficult life when his family moved to America, but he does not allow himself to succumb to the memories of his past. Mark does all he can to keep him off the streets.

Minor characters shall be introduced as the story develops.


	2. Anathema

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is no such thing as justice, all the best that we can hope for is revenge.”  
> ― Emilie Autumn

~~South Korea, Seoul~~ Team Wang Publishing Co., Ltd.

"America?! Jinyoung you can't be serious." Jaebeom eyed him with incredulity as they sat in his office at Team Wang Publishing Co., Ltd.. For five years, the editor worked with Jinyoung. They went to college together with their wealthy Chinese friend, Jackson Wang. After they graduated, Jinyoung became a writer, and Jaebeom ended up as an employee at Jackson’s multinational conglomerate publishing Company.

"I need to take care of something. I won't be able to write a single page if I don't." The author argued, as he glanced at the watch on his wrist.

"Is this still about SooYoung? Man, you need to let go! Are you going to throw your life away for revenge? It’s time to move on. Let’s face it, you'll never find him." Jaebeom argued, fearing that his friend could end up ruining his life for the sake of a nonsensical crusade.

"Well, Jackson did." Jinyoung said calmly. Even though his editor sounded exasperated, he remained impassive.

"What?! Isn’t he in Hong Kong?” Jaebeom exhaled and before the writer answered him, he continued. “Listen to me Jin! I'm not talking as your editor or literary agent, okay? I'm talking as your friend now. Do not let Jackson Wang poison your mind. I know he misses his fiancée and he wants to kill whoever impregnated her in the U.S. But you don’t have to get involved in this mess. No matter what he does now, it won't bring her back. He's not in his right state of mind. You know he's not the same guy after your sister's death."

"Neither am I." Jinyoung stated stoically.

"Jin, you cannot-"

"Do you want your fucking book or not? I can only go back to being the author Park Jinyoung after I do this. I need to go after that fiend who did that to her and make him pay. When I informed you I was going to America I didn't ask your opinion about it, Jaebeom-ah! I just wanted to let you know that I will be absent for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months...It depends."

"On what?" The editor huffed.

"On how fast I’ll be able to get him here." The author muttered.

“You want to bring him to Korea?” Jaebeom frowned.

“Jackson found the guy. Now I must bring the guy to him. That’s the deal.” Jinyoung revealed half of his intentions to a dumbfounded Jaebeom. The latter obviously wished to know more, just to find a way to stop his friend from doing something he could probably regret later. However, Jinyoung didn’t give him time to ask more questions. He simply left, ignoring the editor’s warnings.

Onboard the plane to America, the writer unfolded his sister’s suicide note for the hundredth time and started reading it again.

_SooYoung’s last goodbye._

_To: Mark Tuan Yi-En, my savior and killer_

_Since the day I met you, things have not been easy. I do not recognize myself, I’ve never felt this guilty._

_Since the day I met you, you made my heart squeeze. I cannot go back now, I have lost my way, completely._

_You are the one who infused a ray of light within me. As this new light grows, I can barely rest, eat or sleep. The thought of letting go of this light makes me uneasy. But I will not allow myself to carelessly let it breathe. Since the day I met you, I’d rather dream than live. I’m strangling my hope with a rope in order to kill it. In order to live forever with your light, my existence must cease. They may say I’m damned, but I know the memory of your shine shall show me peace._

Jinyoung could barely contain his tears, and for the first time, they weren’t tears of sadness. He was about to meet him, Mark Tuan Yi-En. The man behind his sister’s demise. The father of her unborn child. Tuan Yi-en had no idea of what was coming to him. Jinyoung never felt so grateful to someone. If it wasn’t for Jackson, who was also unable to get over his fiancée’s death, Jinyoung would never be able reach him. The Chinese hired private investigators to confirm the man’s involvement with SooYoung during her stay in California and did all he could to find out his whereabouts. Jackson even handed him a file with all the information his employees had collected on the man. Jinyoung folded his sister’s suicide note and put it inside his pocket just to grab a folder lying on the seat beside him. Everything about Mark was there. He then started to review some of the facts about his nemesis’s life one more time.

According to the investigators’ findings, Mark was born in 1993. He experienced privilege beyond compare. Although his nationality was American by birth, his parents were Taiwanese. He had three siblings, two older sisters and a younger brother. Raised in a very strict environment of a posh neighbourhood in Los Angeles, California, US, he went to Arcadia High School, and later attended the California State University for a year and a half. After visiting his estranged uncle in another part of the city, Mark got involved with the drug dealer Cameron Zhou, who’s currently in prison. Due to an incident that happened on campus, he dropped out of college, cut ties with his parents and started living with his uncle in Downtown LA. Before dying of symptoms related to Alzheimer's disease, his uncle owned the _Bar 777 Ways_ , establishment that used to be a place for drug trafficking, and where gang members usually enjoyed their happy hour without worrying about the police. With time, Mark got used to the perilous neighbourhood, and started following in his uncle’s footsteps. He disappeared from his uncle’s house for a month, period in which some believe he’d been hanging out with a gang of Asian immigrants. Later, he reappeared when his uncle started showing signs of dementia. After his uncle died, Mark took over the bar, and with Cameron’s help, he was able to keep the place free from illegal transactions. Mark currently lives with a Thai young man who also works for him at the bar.

There was 10 more pages to review, dates, addresses, photos, incidents, and details, which Jinyoung had already learned by heart. The long trip would allow him to review more of that file later. He eyed the seat in front of him and realized that his cousin was already sleeping. Since the young man had decided to follow him all the way to America, he thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to put him to work as soon as they got there.

2 Days later, United States ~ Los Angeles, CA – _Bar 777 Ways_

"Hey! Can I get a beer?"

"How old are you, kid?" Mark frowned at the baby face before him. He wondered why his shifts were always full of surprises. He hoped that it would be a quiet night for a change, but he already had to break out two fights in a span of 30 minutes or less. Luckily, his bar didn't end up torn to pieces as soon as its doors were opened. Some people had already entered his establishment highly intoxicated and looking for trouble. Luckily, he didn’t have to call the police. The neighborhood was never very safe, but nothing really dangerous or life threatening ever happened at his bar. Things were different now that he was in charge.

"Old enough. I have money, you know. Any beer is fine." The uneasy young man with a heavy Asian accent replied.

“Is that so? Do you have a name, kid?” Mark asked quickly, as he handed a cocktail to another costumer.

“Kim Yugyeom, but you can call me YG. I know my name is a bit difficult for Americans to pronounce it the way it’s supposed to.” The boy said cheekily.

“Well, don’t look down on us Americans. We are fast learners. Can you say ‘Kunpimook Bhuwakul’ pretty fast?” Mark gave him a challenging look. Yugyeom looked confused.

“What kind of dialect is that? Is that even a real word?” The young man frowned at him. The American just smirked.

“Yes, it is. Two words, a proper noun, actually. You’re in a neighborhood full of Asian immigrants, kid. But you’re clearly not from around here, obviously. Where are you from?” Mark asked again as he refilled another costumer’s glass.

“Seoul, South Korea.” Yugyeom replied and studied the bartender’s face. “What about you? Are you really American?”

“American-Taiwanese. By the way, where did you learn English?” Mark asked, but at the same time he noticed how the bar was getting crowded and how busier he would get. Before Yugyeom could answer him, he waved a hand at him, cutting that conversation short. He had no time to babysit a foreigner who clearly didn’t belong to a place like that. Yugyeom wore designer clothes and his elaborate hairstyle often drew peoples’ attention to him. Some tourists had no idea of how some locations in LA were too dangerous to simply drive through. He wondered how the boy managed to walk down the streets without having his expensive Adidas sneakers stolen. The Korean certainly wasn’t aware of the drive-by shootings, robberies, vandalism, deadly street battles and drugs that plagued that area. It was about time to send the talkative boy away before it got too dark outside. "You know what? Enough of chitchat. Look, Kim, this is not a place for a child like you. I don't serve underage customers. It's the law. You should be home, studying for your midterm exams, or something. Get out of here." Mark said patronizingly as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Take it easy, I'm not a high schooler. I'm old enough to drink. I'm just asking for a beer. It's not a big deal. I'm sure I'm not the first young looking guy asking for something to quench his thirst a bit. Just do your job, okay?" The young man said nonchalantly.

"Well, then, I'm gonna need some proof, kid. As soon as you convince me that you're legally allowed to consume alcohol, I'll gladly pour some shots for you." Mark said in a challenging tone. But he wasn’t going give him any alcohol, not even if the boy begged on his knees. He wanted him gone, for his own safety.

"That's how you treat all your costumers?" The boy looked outraged. The bartender lost his patience.

"If you don't show me some ID, I'll have to ask you one more time to get the fuck out. I will not jeopardize my business because of a kid like you." Mark warned him, almost losing his patience.

"A kid like me? What the hell?! I'm 22, okay?" The boy sounded offended. Mark almost laughed at his outraged expression. For some reason, Mark found him adorable, but he wouldn't comment on that.

"Then you won't have a problem showing me your ID." Mark replied raising an eyebrow at him.

"I think I lost it somewhere. But my cousin will soon be here to pick me up. He can vouch for me. He told me to meet him here." The youngster said stubbornly.

"Classic!" Mark said and snorted. “I’m calling a cab for you, and then you’ll get inside it and meet your cousin somewhere else, okay?” The young man nodded defeated. Mark made the call, and got back to work. From that moment on, he decided to ignore the young man and chat with the others customers. Soon an old drunk approached the boy's stool and offered to pay him a drink. The Korean innocently accepted it with a smile. Mark knew the old man. He was a regular at his bar and he was the reason why he had no more waitresses working there. They all quit their jobs because the old man was a real creep. He just couldn't keep his hands to himself and whenever he got too drunk, things would get out of hand. Cops had to get involved once or twice, but Mark never banned the old fuck because the man always bought the most expensive drinks and left fat tips on the bar table. Mark was aware of his filthy reputation, but he had never seen the man approach another guy. He didn't think the nasty pervert would try anything funny with a male costumer, even if he was a cute one.

Mark observed the interaction between them from afar without interfering in their dialogue. However, when he noticed the boy walking towards the toilet and the old man following him, he became alarmed. He hated to leave the bar alone, especially now that his fellow helper, Bambam hadn't arrived for his shift yet. Still, he asked one of his loyal regulars to watch the bar for a minute while he stopped by the toilet.

_Several hours later…_

"Shit, what the fuck." A hangover Yugyeom protested as he awoke on a stranger's couch. He was in an overly tiny living room. The TV was on and a smell of coffee filled his nostrils.

"You passed out, so I brought you here. Told you the bar is not for kids." Mark reminded him as he sat on the coffee table table in front of the boy. He handed the Korean the cup of coffee in his hands and eyed him apologetically. “I would offer you some aspirin, but I don’t have any.”

"Thanks.” Yugyeom said, as he accepted the coffee and bowed a little to the bartender. “Where are we?”

“My humble lair.” Mark found his little bow very sweet and gave him a tiny smile. “How do you feel?”

“Like shit.” He sighed, and took a sip of the coffee. “What time is it? I need to call my cousin. I don't have my phone with me, nor my wallet. Did I fall at the bar or something?" Yugyeom sat up and massaged the back of his head.

"Your taxi arrived. But you were too out of it to give him directions. He left and I had to bring you with me. Your cousin never showed up.” Mark explained as he stood up and picked up a wallet laying on the carpet. “By the way, I found that outside the bar, next to the dumpster. I believe it belongs to you. Your ID is still in there, but there’s no money in it though."

"Jesus Christ, did you call the police? Did you see who did it?" Yugyeom said alarmed as he took the wallet from the American’s hand and examined it.

"It's a difficult neighborhood. I don't wanna any cops in my bar if it’s not a real emergency. I might end up in trouble if bring them here every time someone gets mugged." Mark sounded apologetic.

“So I passed out…You sold me beer? I thought you wouldn’t. I don’t remember much from last night.” Yugyeom frowned at him.

“Some stupid costumer gave it to you and you accepted it.” Mark shook his head in disapproval.

“My cousin is going to kill me.” Yugyeom whined.

“Well, I guess you should call him, instead of a cab this time.” Mark suggested, handing his cellphone to him. A loud voice suddenly made the Korean’s headache even worse. Yugyeom massaged his temples as he tried to find out where the voice was coming from. His eyes fell on a young man, who came out of a room and crossed the living room. He did not look like a North American citizen at all, but his English was quite fluent.

"The sleeping beauty is finally up! Mark, I'm gonna open up the bar. Oh, don’t forget to get the cutie's number for me." He said as he stared at the Korean for a long minute. He winked at the flushed young foreigner on the couch and blew him a kiss. "You're my type. Don't be a stranger, kiddo." He announced and left the apartment. Mark snorted as he rolled his eyes. Yugyeom chuckled.

"That’s Kunpimook Bhuwakul, A.K.A Bambam. Don't mind him. He's my roommate and he also helps at the bar." The American informed the kid.

"Pretty straightforward, isn’t he? I guess he is my type too." Yugyeom said grinning from ear to ear. Mark cleared his throat and pointed to the phone in his hand.

“Time to call your cousin, Kim Yugyeom.” He declared, giving the young man a reproving look. The Korean huffed and obliged. Mark went to the kitchen as soon as he heard the boy speaking in a foreign language through the phone. He guessed it was Korean. Mark was relieved to think that Yugyeom would be gone. He was not fond of collecting strays. Bambam was still 17 when he ran away from a foster home and ended up begging for food in front of the bar. The Thai boy had travelled to the U.S with his family in order to get a taste of the American dream, but all they found was a nightmare. Bambam’s mother became a prostitute and Bambam’s father ended up killed in a gang-related shooting in Downtown LA. Eventually, Bambam was taken from his cocaine-addicted mother. The Thai boy refused to go through the horrors of each foster home he was relocated. Then he ran away, Mark took him in, and they started sharing that tiny apartment, as well as the duties at the bar. Mark’s uncle wasn’t happy with their friendship at the beginning, but he didn’t send him away either. They were now best friends and dependable co-workers.

Yugyeom complained more about his headache. Mark tried to ignore the giant kid as he tied up the place a bit. He and Bambam almost never had guests, so the apartment was usually turned upside down. However, since Yugyeom’s cousin was going to stop by, the American felt the need to do something about the mess around him. By the time he finished sweeping the floor, the young Korean was already sound asleep on his couch again. Mark couldn’t help but ruffle the boys’ hair. He wondered how he was going to explain to his cousin what happened yesterday at the toilet of his bar. At that same instant, a knock on his door suddenly distracted him from his thoughts. He dashed to answer it. Then he looked through the peephole and sighed. A well-dressed Asian male was standing outside. He wondered why they all looked so unbelievably well-off and pretty as a picture. Mark took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Good afternoon! I'm Park Jinyoung." The writer stood at the door, face to face with his sister's killer. He eyed Mark up and down. He could see why SooYoung would be attracted to him, Tuan did look striking, but his sister wouldn't simply fall for a fetching foreigner face. There was more to those innocent-like doe eyes. Jinyoung wondered how many people Mark had ruined with a simple glance of those cinnamon orbs. He quickly cast those thoughts away and focused on his actual mission. He bowed politely. It took him a lot of struggle to remain unfazed. It was him, the one who caused so much despair to his family. He was right there, vulnerable and unguarded. An easy prey. Oblivious to what was coming his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A war is about to begin!


	3. The villain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Suddenly revenge is so close he can actually taste it. It tastes like steak, rare.”  
> ― Margaret Atwood

The American blinked several times.

"Oh, hi. Come in." Mark said in a welcoming tone, before taking in the image of the handsome man in front of him. Jinyoung was another foreigner, from the same country of the giant baby on his couch, yet, so unlike him. His features were delicate, but at the same time, it hid a certain manliness that could only be detected from up close. The heavy accent was similar to Yugyeom's, but the fine lines of his expression looked more mature and serious. Mark studied how he elegantly removed his shoes and waited for Mark to lead him into the tiny apartment. The American was glad he had cleaned the floor before he arrived. He had no idea why the man had to take off his Louis Vuitton shoes, but he didn’t comment on that.

"You're Tuan, right? The one who my cousin talked about?" Jinyoung asked, trying to control his nerves. He wondered if Jackson would be too mad at him if he murdered that monster at once, right there in his shitty apartment. 

"Well, yeah. You can call me Mark." He replied, as he extended a hand to him. Jinyoung didn't shake it, he just stared emotionlessly at him. Mark didn't take that as a rude gesture. He wondered if he was experiencing some sort of culture shock. He took his hand away and put it inside his pocket. He just imagined the man was not familiar with the Western rules of greeting.

"So, where's my troublesome cousin?" Jinyoung asked suddenly. He didn't want to involve his cousin in his plan. However, he wanted their first meeting to look casual and accidental.

"Right there." Mark replied, pointing to the couch. The tall young man slept comfortably, as if he had no worries in the world. Jinyoung felt like a criminal for letting his adorable cousin end up at that place, curled up on the filth couch of the man who caused SooYoung's death.

"I'm taking him home." Jinyoung was about to wake him up when the American grabbed his arm. He unconsciously pushed him away, making the other lose his balance and fall on the floor. The shock on Mark's face made him realize what he had done.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Mark apologized, still a bit taken aback. He stood up, crossed his arms around himself and kept his distance away just in case.

"Forgive me. I'm the one who should be sorry. It's not every day I see my cousin blacked out on a stranger's couch. We haven't been in the country for long, and I'm supposed to look after him. I don't know the neighborhood well, but I've heard it's not safe. I believe the tension made me overreact. That was uncalled for. Accept my apologies, please. Are you okay?" Jinyoung quickly tried to unmade his terrible mistake. He enjoyed seeing the American on the floor with sudden alarm in his eyes, no doubt. Nevertheless, hurting the man now could jeopardize his future plans. He wondered if he would be able to control his temper. He had to bring Mark alive to South Korea. Jackson wanted him there. The Chinese gave him that task, since he was the one who said that justice had to be done. He wanted to take part in that major revenge plan. He showed SooYoung's suicide note to Jackson, and he knew the Chinese would go beyond his way to make Mark pay for the death of his fiancée. But the first step was to take the American away from his country. Mark had to feel isolated, defenseless, cornered, just like he imagined his sister felt when she left Korea to study in another country. He knew that Mark could reach to his family once he felt that he was in danger, even though he was estranged from them. Jinyoung had to make sure that didn’t happen.

"I'm not dangerous or anything." Mark huffed, trying to hide his obvious disconcert. "But I do understand your concern over him. He's careless." He added, pointing to Yugyeom.

"You're so kind. I should be thanking you for keeping him safe. But instead, I rudely throw you on the floor of your own apartment. I'm deeply ashamed. My behavior is unforgivable." Jinyoung approached the American and put an apologetic hand on his shoulder. He felt dirty for even touching him, but he endured the contact. Mark glanced at the hand on his shoulder, but remained still.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm fine. I was just going to tell you to let him sleep a bit more, I didn’t mean to scare you. Actually, I was the one who startled you. I do know Asians are not very touchy people. I shouldn't be grabbing your arm so carelessly." Mark swallowed, feeling intensely intimidated by the man’s presence.

"Well, it turns out Kim Yugyeom is not the only careless one in this living room." Jinyoung said, immediately regretting his words. Mark's eyes grew wide. Therefore, Jinyoung smirked and continued. "I'm joking, of course."

"Yeah, sure." Mark replied awkwardly, as he fought to believe that he wasn't being mistreated in his own home. He could tell that for some reason, the man was low-key mad at him. He wondered if he had done or said something inappropriate so far. Mark knew nothing about South Koreans and he had no idea of what could be considered ill-mannered in their vocabulary. "You know what? Ain't I indeed a careless host? I just realized I didn't offer you anything to drink. Would you like-"

"Tuan, I appreciate your hospitality. But I need to take my cousin home, now." Jinyoung said firmly, cutting him off. He couldn't stay one more second inside that place. He wondered if his sister had been there too. If he had taken advantage of her right there, on that couch. He could picture him staring at her with that seemingly unworldly gaze, convincing her with that ingenuous face, kissing her with those candid lips, which deceivingly sputtered blameless words, slowly condemning her to death. Those merciless thoughts assaulted him with multiple vicious images he produced in his own mind. His writer’s mind had a world of its own most of the time. And what it was shown to him at that moment was not pretty. His blood boiled. He exhaled and inhaled. He felt like giving up. He knew he couldn't do it. He told himself that he had failed. He was convinced that he wouldn't be able to get close to that man to the point of simply inviting him to take a vacation to Korea. It would take time, too much time to get used to that disgusting presence. There was no way he could befriend him just to take him to Jackson. He suddenly felt worthless, unable to accomplish that single task for the sake of her memory. He was so absorbed in his own miserable thoughts that he didn’t even pay attention to what the American was saying. Until, he heard something he wasn’t ready to hear.

“…your cousin’s drink was spiked, obviously. So, maybe you should let him sleep it off a bit more and take him home later-”

“What did you say? What did you do to my cousin?!” Jinyoung tightened his hold on the American’s shoulder.

“I didn’t do anything, okay!? I fucking saved him! I don’t do this a lot. I don’t save people. But I protected him from old Mason. The guy is a pervert and a drunk! He thought Yugyeom’s jacket was nice and wanted to give it to his grandson or something. I had to yell at him to make him let go of this idiot! I probably lost a regular because of your cousin! Now get your hands off!” Mark raised his voice and tried to brush Jinyoung’s hand away. He didn’t know what was going on with that man, but he wasn’t going to be manhandled by a stranger in his own home. Jinyoung immediately let go of him and glanced at his cousin who was still in deep sleep.

“Why would you help him?” Jinyoung asked, his eyes full of doubt. The American could be lying, but Yugyeom could easily deny his words once he woke up. Mark eyed him incredulously.

“You think that because I don’t have your Armani suit, and your band new shoes, I also have no conscience? It’s my bar, my neighborhood. I had to do something about it. Not even the police dares to show up here most of the time. You may not know that, but some pretty dangerous shit happens around here. I may live surrounded by some ill-intentioned people, but I try every day not to be like them.” Mark gritted his teeth. “You don’t belong here Park Jinyoung. Now get your rich, pompous Asian ass out of my apartment, and take your fucking cousin with you.” The American went to the door and opened it. He had no idea how Jinyoung was going to carry Yugyeom away, since the boy was totally out. But surprisingly, the Korean seemed strong enough to give the tall boy a piggyback ride.

“Later.” An emotionless Jinyoung declared as he walked past the fuming American with a sleeping Yugyeom on his back, put on his shoes, and left his apartment.

When Mark joined Bambam at the bar that evening, he told his friend what had happened in that strange afternoon at their apartment. Bambam was shocked to hear about the behavior of the Korean’s cousin, but told Mark to forget about that outraging episode since they probably wouldn’t see those two cousins ever again. The American agreed with his friend and decided to erase Park Jinyoung from his mind.

Jinyoung’s talk with Jackson had a different tone. Through the phone the writer explained to the Chinese why he wasn’t fit for the job he was given. He claimed that he couldn’t stay around someone he desired to kill most of the time. Jackson encouraged him, of course.

_“You’re a goddamned writer, Jinyoung! A bestselling one! You create stories, you control plots, and your characters do only what you allow them to do. You find ways to lead them where you want them to go. Use your imagination! Take a good look at his file again, study your villain, we know everything about him. You just gotta put your mind to it. We are the good guys, we don’t give up easily. We have to give this story a just ending. I know you are the right man for this job. At least you said you would be! Remember SooYoung my fiancée, your dear sister! Remember we’re doing all of this for her. Remember she was his victim.”_

_“I’ll try.”_

_“I know you can do it, Jin. Look, I am in Hong Kong now, I have a business meeting. Call me when you manage to put him in a plane to Korea.”_

Two days passed, and Jinyoung was able to bounce back. He recalled the classes of creative writing he had at college. Writing required a process. Brainstorming, research and outlining. He wasn’t confident when he wrote the opening line of that revenge story. He was too anxious to get to the main act. Therefore, he studied his villain again, just like Jackson advised him to. He put it all on a paper and reviewed his first chapter. He realized that the preliminary stage of his writing was compromised, he felt that he needed to get closer to his foe, and meet up with him again to fix his initial mistake. Actually, he thought of throwing away that whole draft. He was ready to rewrite the beginning of that story. How could the good guy defeat the villain while showing so much weakness before him? How he could develop conflicts and stakes while distancing himself from his characters? Jinyoung let his feelings get the best of him once, he wouldn’t do it again. He had a theme, he had a setting, he had characters, and he basically knew how that story was supposed to end. He knew there would be no happy ending for that new novel. It started with somebody getting hurt, it should end with somebody getting hurt. Jinyoung just needed a more cohesive product, he had to organize his thoughts, find strategies to make his enemy weaker.

He sat at his office with a paper and a pen before him. He didn’t want to use his computer now. He had to feel the story escaping from his fingers, igniting the pen and bringing the page alive. His mind worked as fast as a bullet train, he knew he would find a way to carry all paragraphs to the right place, seal their destiny. But then a sudden noise outside his door distracted him. The speed of the train was lost. With a single interruption, the train left its tracks and an explosion incinerated all the marvelous ideas inside it. He knew who was responsible for that catastrophe. No one less than his cousin, Kim Yugyeom. Sometimes Jinyoung was able to forget that he was still with him, other times, it was impossible to. Now that the young man kept knocking nonstop on his office door was one of those times. The writer had rented a luxurious penthouse in Hollywood. It was spacious and comfortable. He hoped the pool, the gym, the theater room, the game room, the Jacuzzi and all the other pleasures the place could offer its inhabitants, would keep his cousin occupied while he worked on his ‘book’. However, he was wrong. The constant knockings on his door were a proof of that. The writer regretted bringing his noisy cousin with him. Yugyeom was unaware of his plans with the Chinese, but a week ago, when Jinyoung announced to his family that he would spend some time in America to clear his mind and try to find inspiration for his new book, Yugyeom did all he could to convince the writer to bring him along on that trip. SooYoung had taught English to Yugyeom. The latter claimed that he didn’t have a chance to really use the language overseas and he believed that it would be a good opportunity to practice it during that trip. Jinyoung didn’t buy that excuse, and neither did Yugyeom’s parents. However, with Yugyeom gone from South Korea, Jinyoung’s uncle would have a break. The man was constantly trying to hide his son’s ‘lifestyle’ from other people, and he was more than happy to see his gay kid leave the country for a while. Deep down, Jinyoung pitied Yugyeom. His cousins’ sexual orientation often made his conservative family ashamed of him. Jinyoung was gay too, but he was never out and proud as his young cousin. The very cousin he wished to silence now. The knockings didn’t cease. Jinyoung contemplated ignoring him for a few more minutes, but now Yugyeom was practically shouting his name outside that door. Therefore, he stood up from his chair, walked to the door and opened it.

“I thought we had agreed you would keep away from this office while I’m working.” He said impatiently.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m going out.” Yugyeom said quickly. Jinyoung didn’t fail to notice the modest outfit of his cousin. He was wearing a black hoodie, an old pair of jeans and an old pair of sneakers.

“I need to go back to that bar. I left my wallet at that bartender’s apartment. You carried me out of there and didn’t even notice my wallet on the couch. My ID is still there, hyung.” The young man explained himself. Jinyoung unconsciously smiled. He finally had a reason to go back there, and see him. He wasn’t disgusted by the idea of seeing his enemy again. Jackson gave him the little push that he needed, Yugyeom gave him a motive. Jinyoung felt that the beginning of that story was indeed able to be rewritten by itself. The plot lacked an inciting incident, the writer could make that happen. Jinyoung knew he had the chance to make all his characters start moving, in order to chase the key moment of that first chapter.

“I’m coming with you.” He said confidently.

A few hours later, at a certain bar, minutes away from Hollywood, Mark eyed how his best friend, and a certain young Korean were getting along at a corner next to the pool table. He still couldn’t believe Yugyeom was back. He couldn’t believe Bambam was flirting with him either. But he didn’t voice his discontentment till Yugyeom’s cousin sat on a stool at the counter of the bar and stared at him intensely. Jinyoung was wearing plain clothes, plain shoes, but his good looks would never turn plain. Mark suddenly wished the man wasn’t so distracting. He tried to ignore him for a few minutes, but those minutes didn’t last.

“Get out of my bar.” He said as he briskly approached the Korean. Jinyoung didn’t move an inch from his seat.

“Hello to you too.” The writer said gently. Flashing him one of his best fake smiles. Mark sighed.

“What do you want?” The American inquired.

“Give me your best cocktail.” Jinyoung was totally into his role now. He felt that he could act as well as write. And he was damn confident of his role.

“No, not that! I mean, why are you here?” Mark asked impatiently.

“I owe you an apology, Mark. Yugyeom told me how kind you were with him the last time he came here. I know I deeply offended you the last time we saw each other, and I shouldn’t have. I didn’t have to act like an asshole, you didn’t deserve it. Please, forgive my poor manners.” He tried his best to look remorseful.

“And? Is that all? You only came here to say that? Well, you can fucking leave now.” the American said coldly.

“Look, his wallet is still in your apartment. He’ll certainly need his ID when we return to Seoul.” Jinyoung couldn’t help but find the bartender extremely attractive at that moment. The writer wasn’t used to have people treating him so rudely, but for some reason, the American’s discourtesy didn’t bother him.

“Wait here.” Mark told the Korean and signaled Bambam to cover for him while he went to the back of the bar. Jinyoung wasn’t very proud of his own performance. He didn’t seem to have impressed the bartender with his apologies, nor his ordinary clothes. He knew that he had to do something extraordinary at that point. He just needed to figure out what. Suddenly he heard the sound of glass breaking at the back of the bar. Neither Bambam nor Yugyeom seemed to notice. The two were busy tending to the costumers now, and Jinyoung couldn’t help but wonder how exactly his cousin ended up serving tables and chatting with the other patrons of the bar. He suddenly realized that maybe the Thai young man could be a good influence to Yugyeom. The latter would never engage in that kind of mundane activity back home.

Another glass shattered. Jinyoung jumped over the counter this time and walked further into the back of the bar. He saw a man gripping Mark’s hair and pushing him into the wall. There were a couple of bottles shattered on the floor. Jinyoung quietly hid in a corner and paid attention to the scene developing in the dim lit area of the bar.

“Where’s the money, China doll?” the stranger asked viciously as he slapped the American.

“I told you I don’t have it. I need more time.” Mark didn’t look too surprised. His collected demeanor made Jinyoung think that whatever was happening there, it wasn’t the first time. He didn’t enjoy what he saw, but he didn’t move to stop the man that now wrapped his hands around Mark’s neck. He remained in the shadows hoping to understand what that was about. Any useful information he could use against his antagonist was valid.

“You know what happens when you don’t pay me monthly. You gotta find another way to make me happy, China doll.” The man said as he licked the side of his face. The American shivered a bit, but didn’t fight him.

“Dan, I need to go back to the bar. I promise to stop by your house later.” Mark still tried to reason with the man, placing a hand on his chest. The man roughly pushed his hand away and turned him around, pressing his face against the wall. Jinyoung wanted to look away and walk out of there when the man shoved a hand inside the American’s pants. He wondered why the American hadn’t screamed for help yet. He could make an heroic entrance if he did.

“China doll, I want my payment now. You know only I can protect this shitty bar from being targeted by the local gangs. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be able to do any business here. You know that. You owe me, China doll. Now be quiet and surrender this hot little Asian ass of yours to me.” The man demanded, as he pressed his body against Mark’s. Jinyoung felt an unknown anger rise inside him. He did loath the American, but he loathed that scene even more.

“Dan, stop. Not here, not now. Bam is waiting for me. Please.” Only now, Mark seemed to show signs of alarm.

“I’m the one who says where and when, you damn whore! You should’ve known that by now.” The man released Mark only to punch his side. The American curled up on the ground and muffled his pained scream with his own hand. Jinyoung didn’t think he could take any more of that. He knew he had to do something about it fast. Mark certainly didn’t look like he was about to scream for help. The bartender only whimpered and struggled a bit when the man straddled him on the dirty floor and pinned his arms above his head.

“Dan, wait! Please, get off me. I promise you I’ll give you what you want later. I’ll stop by-”

“Shut up, whore.” He cut off the bartender with another slap and leaned on him. “You can choose where I come this time. On your face, in your mouth, or inside your tight little hole. What do you say? If you ask me, I still prefer to fuck your man pussy, though.”

“Dan, I beg you.”

“I know last time I was a bit rough. You couldn’t walk properly for a week.” the man snickered. “I don’t wanna keep you away from your customers, China doll. Make up your mind.”

“My mouth.” Mark whispered at last. He knew that if he gave Daniel the blowjob he wanted and swallowed his cum, no one would ever know what had happened. The shameful truth would only dissipate inside him. Otherwise, if the man came on his face, Mark knew he would purposefully ejaculate all over his hair and eye. Mark wouldn’t be able to clean his hair properly and return to the bar and act like nothing happened. He knew someone would notice vestiges of the sticky substance somewhere. If he let Daniel shoot his load inside his anus, he would probably need a wheelchair to go back home, and surely Bambam and everyone at the bar would be able to tell that there was something wrong with him. So, he chose the alternative that seemed less degrading to him at the moment, if that could even be considered as such. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth while Daniel started unzipping his own pants. However, before the man could take his penis out of his pants, a voice and a presence interrupted him.

“Sorry to barge in like this. But there are two officers at the counter who wish to speak with the owner of the bar.” Jinyoung lied, trying to keep his feelings in check. He was appalled by the man’s vicious behavior and angry at Mark for letting him have his way with him.

“China doll, what did you do?!” Daniel gave him a frightened look and quickly got off of the American.

“I didn’t call them here, Dan. You warned me last time and I kept my mouth shut. I swear I didn’t-”

“You are fucked, you Asian fuck! Not even I will be able to clean up your mess now.” Daniel yelled at him, ignoring his pleas. He kicked Mark’s legs before he ran out of the back door cursing under his breath. The American slowly stood up and leaned onto a wall. He noticed Jinyoung eyeing him with an unreadable look on his face.


	4. The Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought my heart was pure. We do like to have such good opinions of our own motives when we're about to do something harmful, to someone else.”  
> ― Margaret Atwood

“There are no cops at the front, are there?” Mark asked quietly.

“No.” Jinyoung replied shortly. He hoped his anger wouldn’t force him to break character.

“You just fucked up my life with your stupid lie! Do you realize that?” Mark barked at him as he marched in Jinyoung’s direction and stared deep into his eyes. The Korean was impressed. The American wasn’t ashamed of what was done to him in front of a stranger. At least he didn’t act like he had just been humiliated inside his own establishment. On the contrary, Mark looked fierce now, clearly mad and ready to fight him. _His supposed savior, the supposed good guy!_ It was clear the American wouldn’t be thanking Jinyoung for interfering in his ‘business transaction’. He wouldn’t allow the Korean to be his hero. According to him, instead of saving the day, the writer had ruined his night. Jinyoung wondered if he wouldn’t be able to find the bartender’s weakness at that point. How could he be the good guy if Mark didn’t let him? That fact angered the writer even more.

“Would you rather have your mouth fucked on this filthy floor?” He asked harshly.

“Yes! Yes! It was just a fucking blowjob! My bar is certainly worthier than that! Now they are gonna come here, fill my fucking wall with their damn graffiti, break my fucking windows, and steal everything in here. And when they’re done playing, they will set the place on fire.” Mark retorted, and for the first time that night, Jinyoung saw his eyes water. But the tears wouldn’t fall. The Korean’s anger vanished, and it was replaced by a wave of concern that slowly washed over him. He didn’t know exactly why he feared for Mark’s safety, but Jinyoung told himself that he just wanted to keep the man alive until he had a chance to bring him to Jackson.

“Let it burn then. Just leave all this shit behind. No human being should sell their body for ‘protection’. You don’t need this place. You know what? Why don’t you come work for me? I’m an author. I’m writing a new book, and I need help. You can be my assistant. I’m out of ideas these days and I’m looking for an inspiration.” Jinyoung said out of the blue. He himself didn’t know where that came from, but he felt the need to improvise.

“Fuck you! I don’t work for anybody anymore! I own this place, I’m my own boss!” Mark bellowed.

“That man was raping you. And I bet he did it more than once.” The Korean gritted his teeth. He felt disgusted for even saying the words.

“Fuck YOU!” The exasperated American yelled at him again, as he nervously paced around the tiny room.

“Hear me out, you won’t lose your bar, okay? How much do you need, huh? I have money, I can pay whatever debt you have with that guy.” Jinyoung argued, as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Oh, really?! And why would you do that?” Mark finally stopped to pace around the room and met his eyes. Jinyoung swallowed as he came closer to him. He stepped neither back, nor forward.

“Because I can.” Jinyoung said softly. He didn’t notice when his hand slowly reached up to touch the bartender’s abused cheek, or when his fingers unconsciously travelled to Mark’s chin. “You should put some ice on those.” The Korean suggested, as he eyed the ugly red mark on both sides of his face. Mark’s heartbeats doubled their speed. The proximity between them seemed to decrease by the second. The American welcomed the unexpectedly gently contact that brushed against his burning skin. He appreciated the gesture. Strangers never touched him with so much softness. He felt soothed by his gaze. He could admire those sparkling eyes for hours without blinking. The American could witness the details of the writer’s handsomeness from up close now. The day he met him, Jinyoung’s charms definitely caught his eyes, but the more he examined the man’s aesthetically pleasing physical traits, the more he could detect uniqueness in it. Mark couldn’t help but think that he looked like a movie star, or a top model, and undoubtedly, a fairy-tale prince. The kind of Korean prince, whose very presence oozed royalty, and that could make people bow at his bewitching sight. When Jinyoung finally removed his hands from his face and started rummaging through the pockets of his coat, Mark seemed to wake up from his dreamlike state. He struggled to focus on the present issue regarding the bar.

“I’m gonna need a lot of money, Park. And I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay you back.” The American said in a less aggressive tone. The Korean uncapped a pen, turned around and started writing on something rapidly. Mark stared in awe as he watched the man sign a blank check and put it on his hand.

“Just call me Jinyoung.” The Korean couldn’t stop but admire the toughness of the man before him. _He doesn’t care about his well-being, he just cares about his fucking bar!_ The writer was stunned. He had never been so horrified and mesmerized in one single night. “And don’t worry about paying me back. I can wait.” The writer finally witnessed one of the key events of his story taking place right there. That check would bind Mark to him in a way or another. He was sure of it.

“Are you for real? Why would you lend me money? Why do you even care about what happens to-” The American couldn’t help but examine the check more than twice.

“I don’t want you to lose your bar because of my meddling.” The writer said simply. Mark eyed Jinyoung with uncertainty as he followed him back to the counter of the bar. The bartender even made him his best cocktail. Jinyoung was all smiles the whole night as he watched Mark work. The writer drank him in. His cinnamon eyes, his thick eyebrows, his lustrous black hair, his upper lip mole, his firm and sharp jawline, his long neck, his well-designed shoulders, his slender waist, and the sound of his cordial voice whenever he greeted a patron, were all too mesmerizing, almost hypnotic. Jinyoung seemed to analyse every single detail of his profile. He also noticed Mark was left-handed, though he didn’t seem to have any problem using his right hand. He quietly observed how he often mixed and refilled drinks, how he skilfully opened bottles and stirred cocktails, how his slim but agile fingers worked with ease, and how his hand veins raised prominently with every single motion of his wrists. He observed how he offered pleasant hellos and friendly comments to a few people, how he quickly wiped down a couple of tables, and how he politely declined the invitation of a group of women who wanted to play darts with him. Jinyoung marvelled at how he frantically moved from one end of the bar to the other and managed to serve everyone even without Bambam’s help. The place was getting packed, but Mark seemed to be used to the crowd. Apparently, he was in his natural habitat. For Jinyoung, it was like everyone else in the bar had disappeared. His focus was solely on the entrancing man behind that counter. The Korean realized that he indeed could stand being around the American now, even though he abhorred him. Retribution would soon come for the bartender, he would see to it. It became easier to tolerate his enemy now that he had risen to the bait. That blank check was the bait and Mark had no idea of how much that generous piece of paper could cost him. After a few more hours, a satisfied Jinyoung announced from his stool that he had to go. He exchanged numbers with Mark, who thanked him for the check, but promised to pay him back. Jinyoung dismissed his words of gratitude and said his goodbyes as he managed to disentangle his cousin’s lips from Bambam’s. As soon as he put a tipsy Yugyeom in the modest car he had rented, the writer quickly drove back to his penthouse before someone noticed that they didn’t belong to that neighbourhood.

The American held onto the blank check. He tried to call Daniel and tell him he would get the money he demanded from him. However, the drug dealer never picked up his calls. Mark closed the bar earlier and returned to his apartment with Bambam, hoping that nothing bad happened to it while they were away. He made more calls, he asked around, but no one was able to tell him where Daniel was. He couldn’t find him nor any of his associates before it was too late. Mark only saw the damage the next morning. He learned from a neighbor that right after he closed the bar that night, gang members looted his establishment and set fire to 777 Ways. Bambam and him couldn’t believe such a tragedy when they arrived at the place. The bar was gone and there was nothing they could do about it. Bambam embraced him and cried, as they witnessed what was left of their bread and butter turn to ashes. There was nothing they could save in there. They barely could save themselves.

After the shock of losing the bar, Mark and Bambam were terrified to find a note slid under the door of their apartment. When Mark unfolded the note and read the scrawled handwriting, he knew Bambam and him weren't welcome in that neighborhood anymore. Whoever wrote that was warning them to leave as soon as possible. The American didn't know if that was Daniel's doing or not, but he could tell that their lives were in danger when he noticed their door marked with graffiti. Mark was familiar with it. He lived there long enough to know what that was. The symbol meant that whoever lived in that apartment was fair game. Without Daniel's 'protection', sooner or later, they could be attacked by rival gang members of that area. Neither Mark nor Bambam intended to defy whoever wanted them gone. Therefore, they started packing. They didn't know where to go, but they knew anywhere else would be safer than that neighborhood. Bambam called Yugyeom and told him what happened. He also warned him to stay away from their street. However, the minute Bambam and Mark exited the building, Yugyeom was there, waiting for them in a car. The American was surprised to see the young Korean there. He wanted to refuse the ride, and ask Bambam what Yugyeom was doing there. Yet, he just silently got into the car and with one last glance at his old building, he said farewell to his bartender days.

"I'm glad to see that you two are okay." Jinyoung said as soon as Yugyeom brought Bambam and Mark inside their penthouse. The pair sat on the comfortable sofa across from the writer's armchair. Bambam looked amazed by everything he saw inside that living room, unlike Mark, who looked too tense to even tear his eyes away from the impeccable carpet covering the immaculate floor of the place.

"Thanks for opening your house to us. We wouldn't know where to go after what happened last night." Bambam said, with a grateful smile on his lips. 

“You both can stay as long as you like, Bammie!” Yugyeom said excitedly as he wrapped an arm around the Thai young man and pulled him closer to him.

"No need to thanks us, kid. I can see how fast you and my cousin became ‘close’. Since we are family, his friends are my friends. And we never let a friend down. A friend in need is a friend indeed." Jinyoung gave him a warm smile. "Why don't you let Gyeom give you a tour of the house? I'd like to have a word with Mark, if you don't mind."

"Sure. Good luck with that. You see, I live with Mark for years and now he even refuses to tell me what happened to his face and why the neighborhood gang is suddenly letting us be targeted by their rivals. If you find a way to make him open up, let me know." Bambam commented in an accusatory tone. Mark eyed him in disbelief as an uncomfortable Yugyeom led the young man to one of the rooms of the house.

Jinyoung skillfully hid how ecstatic he was about the turn of events. Last night was indeed productive. His interference during Mark's 'chat' with the drug dealer Daniel was not useless. Actually, he believed it was an unexpected stroke of genius. As the heroic protagonist of that plot, he successfully stopped the vicious sexual assault on Mark, and because of that, the bar _777 Ways_ was destroyed. Fortunately, the American and the Thai were kicked out of their own neighborhood too. He rejoiced in the fact that Mark and his friend had nowhere to go now. They could only depend on his hospitality and 'good intentions' for the time being. It wouldn't take long for Jinyoung to put the American on a plane to South Korea.

"I think this is a good opportunity to give these back to you." Mark started, breaking the silence between them and putting Yugyeom's wallet, and the blank check the writer had given him on the coffee table.

"You could've used the check for something else, since you didn't have a chance to give it to 'Dan'." The Korean said casually, without touching any of the items on the table. He remained gracefully sat on his sophisticated chair as he spoke. "It's still yours. You don't have to give it back. You obviously need it more than I do."

"I might need it, but I don't want it. As a matter of fact, I don't want to owe you anything. It wasn’t my idea coming here. But I couldn’t afford to reject Yugyeom’s ride. By the way, I put your cousin's money and credit cards back in his wallet." Mark took a deep breath and continued. "I found it next to the dumpster the first night he showed up at the bar. Miraculously, nobody had noticed the lost wallet on the pavement before I did. When I took him to my apartment I stole the money that was in it and told him I found it empty."

"What are you? An honest thief?" Jinyoung asked, with a tinge of disdain in his voice. He didn't care about Yugyeom's money and credit cards, he was too busy trying to figure out why the American was returning those items. He was convinced that Mark was an unfeeling swine without moral or shame. If the former bartender was pretending to be a stand-up guy, it was because he probably thought he could fool him.

"I owed Daniel money for a while. The money I made at the bar wasn't enough to buy my safety or Bam's in that neighborhood. I was desperate to find a solution for that. I thought of using your cousin's money, but I couldn't do it. It didn't feel right. Just give it back to its owner, okay?" Mark said nonchalantly.

"So you'd rather get beat up and give Daniel a blowjob than use a rich kid's money to pay your debts. How selfless of you, Markie." Jinyoung said in a mocking tone, still trying to read the other's intentions. He wondered when Mark would reveal his true colors. The Korean still chased the monster who killed his sister behind those harmless doe eyes.

“It’s Tuan for you.” The American raised an eyebrow and corrected him.

“What if I’d rather call you _China doll_? It sounds more fitting, don’t you think? You’re emotionless and delicate like a doll. And although you’re not Chinese, your features do resemble one.” Jinyoung said sarcastically. He just couldn’t help himself. He saw Mark’s eyes widen a bit, he also saw how he balled his hand into fists and his jaw clenched. But the American managed to keep his feelings in check.

"Yugyeom is a nice kid. But how come he has such an asshole for a cousin?" Mark asked abruptly, giving the writer a cold stone look. Jinyoung smirked evilly.

"Bambam is quite nice too. How come he has a thief and a whore for a friend?" Jinyoung shot back, unconsciously breaking character. He knew he had gone too far. He regretted his words as soon as they escaped from his mouth. He had to remind himself that his goal was to keep Mark close, perhaps befriend him. He shouldn’t be insulting him, or giving him reasons to reject his hospitality. He couldn’t afford losing sight of him, not now that he had him under his roof. He almost panicked internally, brainstorming ways to salvage that interaction. However, the other didn’t look shocked.

"Do you think I'm offended by what you have just said? I was called worse, you know. I’ve done worse." Mark said, without much emotion. Jinyoung nodded vehemently.

"I can tell. I saw you and 'Dan' the other night. As I watched you two, I wondered if you were really human. You didn't care about what he did to you. You just stayed there, immobile, like a body without a soul. If you have so little concern for your own well-being, I can imagine how little you care about others." Jinyoung couldn't help but stare at the stoic man sat across from him. That one wasn’t easily provoked. He was able to hold his ground. That beautiful fiend intrigued him to no end.

"I couldn't care less about your impressions of me. Back at the bar, you offered me a job, Park Jinyoung. I don't want your money for free. I wanna earn it. Since you already know my 'qualifications', there’s still a question that lingers here. Are you ready to hire a thief, a whore, and a body without a soul as your assistant? Does the offer still stand?" The unfazed American asked in a serious tone.

"You're sure about that? You didn't seem too excited about the offer last night." Jinyoung frowned, internally congratulating himself for his upcoming victory. Mark was easily falling into his trap. "By the way, you must know that this job might require you to leave the country for a while."

"Leave the U.S?" Mark furrowed his brows. "What for?"

"I live in South Korea, Mark. I need my assistant with me at all times. You'll soon find out how your contributions are essential for my writing process." The writer crossed his legs and waited for his answer.

"I can't leave Bam. I don’t go anywhere without him." He stated, a bit disconcerted.

"Bring him with you then." Jinyoung couldn't miss that opportunity. Bambam was not part of his and Jackson's revenge plan, but the writer didn't mind involving another character in that story if it meant that he would finally achieve his goal.

"What makes you think he'll be okay with this? We just can't leave it all behind. We can't even speak Korean. W-we don't even have passports." Mark almost stammered. He knew something was off about that job offer, but he needed to guarantee his and Bambam's safety. They couldn't go back to his neighborhood and they had nowhere else to go. He wouldn’t go back home. He wouldn’t be able to face his parents after all that time. He wasn’t their son anymore. That squeaky-clean college student he used to be was long gone.

"You won’t be leaving anything behind. I don't need you to be fluent in Korean for this kind of job. You can get passports, it's not a big deal. Bambam will be fine. I'm sure my cousin will be able to convince him." Jinyoung said calmly, loving to see the confusion in the American's eyes.

"You clearly don't like me. I can tell when someone doesn't like me. I'm used to people who pretend to be something they're not. Life taught me not to trust one's supposed good intentions. You do have an ulterior motive for doing this. I have no idea why you're offering me this job, but I will take it." A determined Mark stood up and extended his hand to the Korean. Jinyoung quickly mimicked his gesture and shook hands with him.

"I know you're not used to see the best in people, Mark Tuan. But I do hope to change that perspective of yours someday. I'm sure we'll be able to get along just fine with time." The amount of satisfaction Jinyoung was feeling at that moment was overwhelming. He was sure SooYoung would be proud of him. If Jackson was there, he would certainly give him a pat on the back. He was absolutely brilliant.

Jinyoung showed him his room and told Mark to rest a bit before lunch. They ordered Thai food that day and both Jinyoung and Mark had to watch Bambam and Yugyeom being all lovey-dovey at the table. While Bambam taught Yugyeom the name of each ingredient and silverware at the table in Thai, Yugyeom taught Bambam their equivalent in Korean. The writer soon informed the youngsters that he had hired Mark as his assistant. Bambam initially looked puzzled, but when Jinyoung mentioned a trip to Korea that sounded more like a vacation to Disneyland, the Thai boy became excited.

“I’d love to visit Korea. I love travelling. I just didn’t expect Mark to agree with this idea too. He has to regularly visit-”

“Bam!” Mark exclaimed, cutting him off. “We won’t stay there forever. Jinyoung just need my assistance because he’s writing about gangs of LA, and he thought I would be able to help him, since we lived in that neighborhood for a while. Once the book is published in Korea, we’ll use the money I make as an assistant to come back here and live a proper healthy life.” The American’s forced smile didn’t seem to convince his Thai friend, but the latter stopped asking questions. Jinyoung was impressed. Mark’s excuse was formidable. He wouldn’t have formulated one better that. He never told the American how he could assist him with his job, but he could use that excuse once he dragged Mark to Korea and his family started asking questions about the handsome foreigner by his side. He didn’t fail to notice that Bambam seemed to have valuable information regarding Mark’s life. Especially the kind of information, which the American didn’t seem too comfortable to share at the table. Jinyoung was sure he could find a way to make Bambam spill the beans. He just needed to find out how. There were still too many questions to be answered. Mark’s file certainly lacked consistence. The folder Jackson sent him didn’t say anything about that Daniel guy who harassed the bartender at the bar. The Korean needed to know more. He had to.


	5. 21 Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The more he smiled, the more I wanted to hate him, and yet it was the very thing that made hating him impossible.”  
> ― Jamie McGuire

After lunch, Yugyeom went to his room and noticed that his wallet was on his bed. He examine it and realized that nothing was missing. He assumed that Mark was the only one who could’ve put his money and credit cards back in it. He wondered why the American had lied to him at his apartment. He didn’t want to think that the bartender was the one who had stolen what was inside his wallet. But even if he had, Yugyeom wouldn’t complain about it. The young Korean knew Mark and Bambam were going through a difficult time. He presumed the older wouldn’t steal from him if he had a choice. By the looks of the neighborhood and the place Mark used to live with BamBam, the two were obviously broke, even before the fire consumed their bar. Bambam had mentioned to Yugyeom how Mark took care of him like a brother, and most of the time, like a parent. Yugyeom remembered how Mark refused to give him beer because he thought he was a minor. He couldn’t ignore the fact that Mark also brought him to his own apartment, and looked after him until Jinyoung decided to show up. He assumed that the bartender was a decent guy after all. The money and the cards were returned, so he felt that there was no need to call him out, or bring up that subject again. Yugyeom decided not to say anything to Jinyoung nor to Bambam either. He had no intention of getting Mark in trouble or making him uncomfortable, and he wanted both him and Bambam to stay in the penthouse, so he simply decided to forget that issue.

Hours later, Bambam convinced the group to play a get-to-know-you game since they would spend a lot of time together until the book was finished. The game was called ‘two truths and a lie’. Jinyoung internally praised Bambam for such a great idea. He couldn’t believe how things were working so well for him. He just assumed that fate was on his side. According to the rule of the game, the participants had to guess the two truths and a lie of each person in the group. Jinyoung wondered which truths Mark was going to share with them. He wished he could catch the American in his own web of lies. The group moved to the pool area. They sat down in a circle on the floor, and the Thai young man started.

“I am a cat lover, Korean guys are not my type, and my best friend is gay.” Bambam announced animatedly.

“The only possible lie is that you’re not into Korean guys.” Yugyeom winked at him and pinched his cheeks while Bambam giggled, announcing that he had guessed it right. Jinyoung was astounded.

“Mark is your best friend, right?” he asked tentatively.

“Exactly. That means I’m gay too. Do you have a problem with that?” Mark chimed in, furrowing his eyebrows. Jinyoung was flabbergasted. His breath caught in his throat. _If Mark is gay, how could he have impregnated SooYoung?_

“Oh my God, hyung! You didn’t know?! Well, believe it or not, all the four people in this circle right now are into guys.” Yugyeom laughed out loud. Bambam giggled. Mark frowned. Jinyoung swallowed. _Is this Mark really SooYoon’s Mark? What if he isn’t?_ The possibility took over his mind like a hurricane.

“You are gay too, huh?” The American glanced at the speechless writer, who simply nodded to him. The other two couldn’t stop cackling for a while.

“He’s just a bit closeted at the moment.” Yugyeom added in a mocking tone. His cousin gave him a death glare. Mark scoffed and Bambam struggled to suppress a laugh.

“All right, here it goes. I can speak Mandarin. I’m a college dropout, and I’ve dated a couple of girls before I realized I am totally gay.” Mark declared more animated than before. Yet, he told himself that learning about Jinyoung’s sexual orientation wasn’t the cause of his mood improvement.

“You dated girls?! Come on, that is the lie! Obviously!” Yugyeom said quickly. Mark nodded. Bambam hugged the young Korean and congratulated him. Jinyoung was still trying to process what he had just heard.

“Why did you drop out of college?” Yugyeom asked curiously.

“I met someone.” Mark replied as a sad expression shadowed his features.

“A guy?” An agitated Jinyoung immediately thought that Jackson had found the wrong Mark. _How come a guy who was seeing another guy be the same man who impregnated SooYoung?_

“Yeah.” The American whispered in a disheartened tone of voice. Bambam put a consoling hand on his shoulder and Jinyoung still wasn’t able to function. He kept asking himself if that trip was a stupid mistake. Yugyeom noticed Mark’s despondent look and continued the game.

“Okay, let’s change the subject. It’s my turn now. I have a crush on someone I met recently. I wanna be successful as my cousin someday, and I can dance like Chris Brown.” Yugyeom declared enthusiastically.

“You can’t dance like Chris Brown! Get out of here!” Bambam tried to guess it right and failed. Yugyeom swiftly stood up and while singing he showed them some sharp dance moves of his greatest idol. Bambam and Mark cheered and clapped their hands together gleefully. As Yugyeom’s little show progressed, they started calling him ‘Brownie’. Jinyoung silently watched them have fun. Yugyeom’s antics had finally made Mark genuinely smile. _And what a smile!_ The Korean was blinded by it. It took his breath away. The brief sadness and the joyful purity etched in those orbs answered the writer’s doubts. That Mark Tuan didn’t cause his sister suicide. It couldn’t be him. He didn’t want it to be him.

“You surely have a crush on someone. So that means you don’t wanna be as successful as your cousin?” Mark cocked his head to the side and wondered if he was right.

“Writers are boring. They are haunted by deadlines, editors and book tours. I wanna be a singer and a dancer. I wanna hear people screaming my name and dying to get a piece of me. I want to receive the attention all huge pop stars get. That’s the kind of success I aim for.” The young Korean clarified with a dreamy look on his face.

“That’s shallow. And by the way, Chris Brown is a shitty woman beater. It’s okay to admire the art, not the artist, okay? You shouldn’t look up to a scum like that.” Mark pointed out. Yugyeom pouted, and Bambam quickly consoled him with a peck on the lips. Jinyoung rubbed his hand against his forehead, still struggling to recompose himself.

“Oh, come on, Mark! Of course, he doesn’t idolize Brown because of his unlawful deeds. Right, Gyeomie?” Bambam defended Yugyeom, who quickly nodded and claimed that he was totally against violence.

“Well, at least Brown is not a woman killer.” The author argued, louder than he intended too. He didn’t think he would be able to hide his internal turmoil for too long. The other three eyed him awkwardly.

“Are you okay?” The American whispered to him. Jinyoung was not okay. Nevertheless, he nodded and gave Mark a weary smile.

“I think you dance better than Chris Brown though.” Bambam squealed as he pushed Yugyeom to the pool, then he jumped in it too, causing droplets of water to hit Mark and Jinyoung by the edge of the pool. Bambam and Yugyeom were soon shamelessly frenching in the water. Mark shook his head in disbelief, but he liked to see Bambam that happy. It made him happy too. He could feel two pair of eyes on him, but the moment he glanced at Jinyoung, the latter looked away.

“What about your two truths and one lie?” Mark asked quietly, sensing the writer’s disquietness.

“I am plotting someone’s death. I used to have a crush on my editor, and I think you’re very, very nice-looking.” A disturbed Jinyoung declared, without putting much thought on his sentences. They were all true, but he was curious to know which of those statements the American would consider a lie.

“You’re cheating. You’ve just said two lies and perhaps one truth.” Mark shook his head reprovingly at the writer.

“Why would you say that?” Jinyoung stared right back at him now, his words had a challenging tone.

“You’re not plotting anyone’s death, obviously. And you don’t think I look nice either.” Mark complained, averting his eyes from the intense gaze the Korean was giving him.

“Guilty as charged.” Jinyoung didn’t dare to correct him, so he simply smirked and stood up abruptly. Mark looked a bit disappointed to see him walk back into the house. He couldn’t help but feel a bit hopeful when the writer mentioned his supposed good looks. However, when Jinyoung confirmed that that sentence was just one of his lies, his enthusiasm declined. Now that he knew Jinyoung was gay, he fought not to see him differently. His mind took him back to that moment they shared at the bar after Daniel had left. The way the writer had softly touched his face seemed more intimate now. Mark didn’t want to think about how he enjoyed that contact. He definitely needed a distraction at the moment. So, although he wasn’t wearing a bathing suit, he jumped in the water, joining the other two in the pool.

At night, Yugyeom ordered pizza. Bambam, and Mark enjoyed every single slice of it. The American asked the young Korean about his cousin’s ‘disappearance’, and Yugyeom explained to him that Jinyoung spent hours in his office looking for inspiration, but he wasn’t able to get much work done so far. He also warned Mark that he should keep away from that door whenever his cousin locked himself in there.

Mark wanted to have a chat with Bambam about their new situation, but he knew it was impossible to get him alone that night. Yugyeom and the Thai were joined at the hips. Mark wondered if he should be jealous of the new couple. He already missed his best friend, but since the pair looked too cute together, he didn’t mind having to share Bambam’s attention with the young Korean. When Yugyeom wished him good night and carried his best friend in bridal style to his room, the American decided to give them their privacy. The silence of the place became deafening. Mark already missed his bar, the noise, and his patrons, yet, he didn’t miss the neighborhood. He didn’t know what happened to Daniel, and actually, he didn’t care. He promised himself he would open another bar, somewhere far away from that hellhole. He just hoped Park Jinyoung was different from the toxic people he met in his life. The writer had called him a thief and whore, but he didn’t take it to the heart. In his point of view, rich people would never understand the kind of things less privileged people had to do for the sake of survival. Their ignorance was appalling. The fact that Mark had indeed stolen Yugyeom’s money, naturally made him a thief. The scene Jinyoung saw at the back of the bar, automatically made him look like a whore in the author’s eyes. Mark believed that he had given the writer enough reasons to make him say those things. Nevertheless, he wanted to prove to his new ‘boss’ that his opinion of him could change. Mark had no idea of what to do in order to help Jinyoung with his book. Yet, he hoped the Korean really took him seriously when he said he wanted the job. Mark needed money, but he planned to work for it.

Mark eyed the door of Jinyoung’s office with curiosity. He wondered if the Korean was able to find the inspiration he sought. Therefore, he curiously walked to the door and knocked on it. Soon he heard what seemed like a curse in another language. Jinyoung obviously thought that it was Yugyeom who dared to bother him at that hour. The writer swiftly shifted to English, wondering if his cousin would understand him better, since the kid seemed ignorant to the term ‘stay away’ in Korean. He had begged Yugyeom to let him work in peace dozens of times, but he rarely listened to him.

“Yugyeom, it’s late. Just go to bed, kid. I don’t have time to play with you.” The annoyance in the writer’s voice made Mark chuckle. Without much ceremony, he opened the door and let himself into the office.

“It’s not Yuggie. It’s one of your guests and new employee.” He declared softly as he approached the writer’s table. The look on Jinyoung’s face indicated that he didn’t expect to see him at that hour.

“You’re still up. Can’t sleep?” Jinyoung asked casually without moving from his chair. He had spent exhausting hours on the phone with Jackson. He kept trying to convince the Chinese that he had found the wrong guy, but Jackson assured him that the private investigators he hired couldn’t be wrong. They had enough proof. They had found phone messages exchanged between Mark and SooYoung, and pictures of them in her cellphone. The Chinese ended up telling Jinyoung that he was being deceived by Mark the same way his sister once was. Then he advised his friend not to be fooled by the American’s pretty face, and also reminded him that the name Mark Tuan Yi-en was in SooYoung’s suicide note and she herself called him her ‘killer’. The Korean relented, but the doubt remained. What his sister wrote could be interpreted in many ways. Jinyoung felt that he should clear that doubt before taking Mark to Jackson. He had to do it fast. He wanted to do it now.

“It’s still early for me. I’m a bartender, remember? At least I used to be.” Mark sighed and continued. “May I assist you with your book? That’s my job, right?” Mark asked tentatively. His voice barely above a whisper. Jinyoung was amused when he saw the American jump on his table and sit on it with one single motion. The older stared back at him, waiting for his answer.

“No more work tonight.” Jinyoung announced, shoving some papers inside a drawer and closing it. “But I think that an interview with my new employee could be a good idea.”

“You’re supposed to interview people before you give them a job, right? And I already got the job.” Mark raised his eyebrows at him. Jinyoung nodded in agreement, and cleared his throat.

“Listen, I am sorry for calling you those names earlier. I don’t know what has gotten into me. I guess I’m pretty stressed because of work. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Since I’ve landed in America, I can’t seem to be able to write a single paragraph. That’s why I came here, to get some sort of inspiration. My editor has been pressuring me a lot, my readers are anxious to read my next book, and I’m stuck. I really didn’t mean to offend you or anything. I can promise you it won’t happen again. If you stick around, you’ll see that I’m not usually like that. I’ve had better days.” The writer said in an apologetic tone. He knew they needed to be in good terms before he tried to get some honest answers out of him.

“Well, I shouldn’t have called you an asshole either. You and Yugyeom kinda rescued us and I should be grateful. Damn, you even signed that blank check to save the bar! Assholes don’t do that kind of thing. You see, I’m not used to be around good people. I forgot what it’s like to get help without asking for it or without having to do something in return.” Mark looked pensive as he tried his best to apologize. “The truth is I’m still angry and frustrated because of what happened to _777 Ways_. You’re not to blame for it, on the contrary, you’ve been extremely nice to a pair of strangers who will probably never be able to thank you enough for your hospitability. So, I’m sorry for taking it out on you too.” Mark replied, as he chewed on his bottom lip. Jinyoung smiled at him. For some reason the writer found that habit adorable.

“Apologies accepted. I guess we’re even then.” The author commented.

“Absolutely.” Mark nodded and gave him an uncertain look. “And if you don’t mind keeping between us what you saw at the backroom of the bar the other day, I’d appreciate it very much. I don’t wanna upset Bam.”

“It’s okay. I’m good at keeping secrets. My mouth is a tomb.” Jinyoung assured him and Mark nodded. The Korean just stared at him for a moment and continued. “Okay, now that we put that behind us, may I suggest a game, then?” he suggested in a friendly tone.

“As long as it’s not as silly as the one we played earlier, I’m up for it.” The American smiled. _Ah! This smile again_. Jinyoung was automatically disarmed.

“What about 21 questions? Or at least a loose version of it. I still need to know you better and I’m sure you’re not convinced of my good intentions yet.” Jinyoung confessed, as he climbed on the table and sat in front of him.

“Okay, let’s do it.” Mark replied simply. He hoped he could also find out why he suddenly felt low-key excited to have the Korean sitting so close to him now.

“Should I start?” The writer asked. The older nodded. The Korean smirked and continued. He knew he had to start with silly questions and avoid scaring Mark right away. “Have you ever dine and dashed at a restaurant?”

“Yeah, I might’ve, but it wasn’t really my idea.” Mark said honestly.

“Wow, I’ve never done such a thing. It sounds thrilling. Please, expand on that.” Jinyoung signalled him to continue.

“It was during my freshman year of college. It was more like a stupid truth or dare kind of thing.”

“Were you alone?” The Korean pushed. Mark blinked twice and swallowed.

“No.” Mark sounded uncomfortable.

“Friend? Boyfriend?” The writer pushed.

“Someone I’d rather not talk about now.” The older said awkwardly.

“Oh, ex-boyfriend then.” Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at him. The file Jackson had sent him practically had no information about the American’s love life. That was strange. The file mentioned that Mark used to work with a criminal named Cameron, who was in jail, but they supposedly only met after Mark moved in with his uncle. According to the file, there was nothing romantic between them. But the private investigators could be wrong. The Korean wondered if Cameron Zhou was the person Mark refused to talk about.

“Hum.” The American scratched the nape of his neck and continued. “It’s my turn now. Would you rather have endless money or endless love?”

“Endless money.” He replied, staring deep at the American’s eyes.

“Why? Because it can buy everything else?” Mark eyed him curiously.

“No. I don’t think love, for example, can be bought. And I don’t think it’s endless either. Actually, I believe the real thing is product of literature. Trust me, in fiction everything sounds more romantic than in reality. Endless money sounds more plausible, if we think of corrupt politicians, for example.” The writer said honestly.

“Yeah, but hypothetically, if endless love was possible, just like in literature, would you still choose endless money? Which one sounds better? Come on, you’re a famous writer, use your imagination.” The American insisted.

“Oh, so only now you realize I am famous?” Jinyoung grinned, cocking his head to the side.

“When you told me you were a writer I immediately doubted your words. The first time I met you, you were dressed like a CEO or something. You didn’t look like an author of bestselling books. So I googled your name. I admit I was impressed.” The American said, while the other’s grin grew larger. He didn’t think the American would also do some research about him. He was flattered to know that somehow he had piqued Mark’s interest. The latter looked a bit embarrassed now, but before Jinyoung commented on his flushed cheeks, he continued. “So, ready for my answer now?”

“I think I would still choose the money.” Jinyoung confessed.

“Got it.” the older chuckled, but seemed to ponder his answer for a minute. “Same here.” He added with a shrug.

“Alright, my turn. If you could star in a movie, what genre of movie would it be?” Jinyoung forced himself to keep focusing on boring questions for a while.

“I don’t know, maybe a sci-fi? I mean, I’m lazy, so I guess actors in a sci-fi film don’t have to work that hard. The special effects team is supposed to do most of the job.” Mark replied.

“It’s not really like that, but your answer is valid.”

“What do you mean?” He cocked his head to the side and studied the writer before him.

“I’ve written movie scripts before, I’ve been to movie sets. Four of my novels were adapted into films. No matter what the genre is, the production of a film is a team effort. Everybody works hard in their own way to achieve the best final product.” A pensive Jinyoung replied. He had just find out that he didn’t mind talking about silly things with the American. He couldn’t see him as an enemy at that point. SooYoung and the reason of her suicide had were slowly vanishing from his mind at that moment.

“Sorry, I’m pretty ignorant about this whole cinematographic thing. By the way, you should recommend me some of your stuff. According to Google, you’re a scriptwriter, a novelist, a soup opera writer and I haven’t seen any of your work!” Mark commented, trying not to sound like he was too interested in knowing everything the Korean had written so far.

“Well, you’re American.” Jinyoung said dryly.

“Are you calling me an uneducated Californian with low intellectual?” Mark made a face and feigned offense.

“I’m just saying it’s easier for you to have more access to intellectual productions of your culture. That’s all I’m saying.” The Korean replied carefully.

“I’m just kidding, go ahead. It’s your turn.” Mark grinned.

“Are platonic relationships or romantic relationships more important to you?” Jinyoung was indeed curious about that answer.

“The platonic ones.” Mark replied quickly.

“Expand on that, please.”

“Romance is complicated.” He added vaguely and continued before the other could ask for details. “If you had to be trapped on a desert island with one friend, who would you choose and why?”

“I guess my editor. Lim Jaebeom. Before we started working together, we were friends at college. If it wasn’t for him, I’d probably never have written a single book.” Jinyoung’s expression softened as he talked about Jaebeom.

“Perhaps I might meet him someday when we travel to Korea. He must be really something, since you’re still crushing on him.” Mark chuckled as he remembered what the writer had said about his editor during the previous game. “You seem to be kinda picky.”

“Hey, the guy is married. I don’t have a crush on him anymore. We’re just friends and co-workers. And what makes you think I’m picky?” Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at him.

“You don’t think I’m nice looking. Most people do. I take it you’re very hard to please.” Mark managed to say that with a straight face as he put one hand on the writer’s thigh and squeezed it a bit. “Tell me, isn’t there any way I can change your mind?”


	6. A whiskey Flask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “To think is an act. To feel is a fact.”― Clarice Lispector

When he heard a wide-eyed Jinyoung gasp, Mark removed his hand from him and broke into a fit of laughter. Jinyoung froze for a minute, but soon managed to give the older a nervous smile the moment he realized he was joking. The author’s heart accelerated, and he felt the urge to calm it down. He was relieved that Mark couldn’t hear its maddening throb, its persisting and unreasonable drumming that shook his whole being. The Korean wouldn’t let that internal earthquake compromise his already conflicted mind. Still, he couldn’t help but feel like the spot where Mark had touched him screamed for that contact once more, it ached for that itching burn that slowly crawled in his skin. After being exposed to that heat, every fiber of his body caught fire. He felt injured by the American’s fingers, scorched by his proximity, and the temptation to cave in to that flaming sensation was unbearable. He wished he could find a way to put out that fire and detain the ravening conflagration spreading within him. He knew that something had to be done, fast. A long awkward minute followed before he opened one of his drawers and took a whiskey flask out of it. He took a sip of its content and offered it to Mark, who silently observed the effect of his ‘teasing’ on him. The older gladly accepted the flask and took a sip from it. Jinyoung hoped that the alcohol would numb the agonizing inferno assaulting his soul. The writer surely needed extra courage to continue the game after Mark’s ‘joke’.

“I’m sorry. Did I weird you out?” The American didn’t sound sorry, not at all, and the younger simply enjoyed the sound of his voice. The way each syllable left his mouth, and the movement of those lips that never failed to torment him. “I get a bit touchy sometimes. But for your sake, I’ll try to keep in mind that you’re not much of a fan of physical contact. I remember the first time I met you. I carelessly grabbed your arm and you freaked out.” Mark chuckled at the memory. The younger inhaled. Jinyoung himself wished he had handled that first meeting with more prudence. He couldn’t forget how he was unable to stay in the same room with Mark for too long. He wondered how he managed to become so tolerant of the American. It wasn’t just because he was sure Mark would accompany him to Korea, and he got used to hate him. Something had changed. Definitely.

“Oh, that. I was just a little bit startled.” A disconcerted Jinyoung said, apologetically. “I didn’t mean to be indelicate or anything.” Mark smirked at the younger’s words and gave the flask back to him. The Korean didn’t miss the brief contact of Mark’s fingers on his when the older handed him the object. He shuddered. Jinyoung also realized he was about to drink from the same surface that had touched the older’s mouth. He allowed himself that forbidden indirect kiss. Therefore, he pressed his own lips to the flash and drank again from it, struggling to ignore the electrifying prickle of excitement he felt due to that fleeting encounter of lips residue. He never imagined that he would be sharing a drink with the bartender in his office, let alone enjoying it.

“It’s okay. I like it rough sometimes.” A giggling Mark commented shamelessly and the younger almost choked on the whiskey this time. The Korean decided not to comment on that piece of information. It would be too embarrassing for him to do so. Then he changed the subject, and handed the flask back to the older.

“So you’re really coming to Korea when the time comes, yeah?” Jinyoung asked unexpectedly. He looked hopeful, as he examined the mesmerizing way Mark’s Adam’s apple moved as he drank from the flask.

“You sound anxious, Park Jinyoung. I’m starting to believe that you do think I’m nice-looking and once you take me to Korea, you will never let me come back here. You’ll do all you can to keep me around, perhaps lock me up in a basement, so you can admire my arresting allure whenever you want.” Mark said comically, batting his eyes at him, as a foolish smile played on his lips. Jinyoung looked more than anxious now. He wouldn’t admit how naturally striking the older seemed to him, so he just rolled his eyes. The fact that he looked dazzling was not the reason why the author wanted to bring the American to South Korea. Perhaps it wasn’t just because of his and Jackson’s revenge plan either. It was more than that. Or maybe it was all of that and something more. A ‘something more’ he wasn’t able to identify yet. Mark ignored his intense stare and then moved to the next question. “What would be a great date night and where would you take a guy if you really wanted to impress him?”

“I’ve written plenty of scenes like that, I mean, describing perfect places for unforgettable dates and stuff. Actually, I don’t think the place is important. Wherever I can be with that person, and both of us can enjoy the same things would be enough. I don’t have to try hard to impress people. Most of the time they are already impressed by me.” He said cockily, as he smirked at the older. “I just have to be myself, and inform them that I’m the youngest writer who received the Daesan Literary Awards a few years ago. It’s kind of a big deal where I come from, you see.” The younger added and winked at Mark.

“That’s quite modest of you. I don’t think the setting of the date is a big deal either. However, I must say that it’s not your awards that impresses me, you know.” A bold Mark pointed out, giving him a suggestive look. “I mean, you’ve got a gorgeous face, and a nice body. Definitely beddable.” A blushing Jinyoung put a hand above his mouth and eyed him with perplexity. Mark shrugged just before he playfully blew him a kiss. The Korean’s shock doubled. Silence fell, but it didn’t last long. Soon both of them burst into a fit of laughter. Mark didn’t have to be drunk to make his advances, but even if he did something the other didn’t like, he thought that he could simply blame it on the alcohol later. That whiskey flask promised to make their game merrier by the second. Whether they became drunk or not.

“Is there anything that scares you?” Jinyoung asked absentedmindedly. The older’s words still lingered in his ears. He couldn’t help but think that Mark was flirting with him. It felt good to hear his compliments about his body, but he barely knew the former bartender and he wasn’t used to that kind of straightforward approach. He immediately came to the conclusion that Americans, unlike Koreans, had definitely a freer way of voicing their opinions and desires. However, Jinyoung wouldn’t encourage his advances, he knew that there was a line between them that could never be crossed. Therefore, he quickly tried to change the subject one more time. He had totally forgotten about his initial plan. Mark could answer his 21 or more silly questions and never mention anything about SooYoung. And The Korean didn’t seem to care.

“Repeating the same mistakes, or maybe missing big opportunities. Making the same mistakes several times without learning how to avoid them in the future would make me a dumb person. And Missing big opportunities would make me a loser.” Mark stated, and hurriedly asked the younger another question. “Okay, if you could find out when you were going to die, would you want to know?”

“Sure. I’d prepare my bucket list with more urgency.” The Korean wanted to tell him that kissing his lips would definitely be at the top of his list, but he kept that sinful information to himself. And the more he tried to supress the yearning for the older’s kiss, the more his eyes focused on his mouth. The American’s lips suddenly looked too tempting to be ignored.

“That makes sense, I guess.” Mark swallowed. The author noticed that his features darkened a little. He didn’t understand why, but wanted to see more of his flirtatious mood again.

“Can you dance as sexily as my cousin, A.K.A Brownie?” Jinyoung brought up a lighter question, hoping to make the other smile.

“Definitely not.” Mark answered quietly, and chewed on his upper lip a bit. He seemed a bit unsure when he added what seemed more like an invitation. “But I could give you a lap dance, if that’s what you want.” He didn’t sound like he was joking now. He eyed the dumbfounded Korean for a long excruciating second.

“M-maybe another time, I guess.” A still bewildered Jinyoung managed to say. He couldn’t help but think that Mark was undoubtedly hitting on him. _Is he a joker or he’s already drunk and horny?_ Jinyoung felt like losing a battle against himself. He decided that he wouldn’t mind if the older made a pass at him right now. Not at all. At that point, if he responded to the American’s advances, he could also claim he was probably drunk and horny. Whatever happened, no one in that room would be held responsible for it.

“How many people have you slept with?” Mark fired abruptly, after feeling a bit disappointed by the lap dance refusal. Jinyoung took one more sip of the whiskey and seemed to ponder the question.

“No idea. I guess I lost count of them. I mean, who’s counting, right?” The writer said without ceremony. His body count wasn’t that high. He didn’t have that many sexual partners, but he wasn’t going to divulge that kind of information so carelessly. Back in Seoul, he usually had to keep that part of his life in secret. He even created a fake story of a supposed girlfriend he had been seeing for a year just to stop his parents from asking questions about his love life. Homosexuality in South Korea never stopped being a taboo and he had a career to protect. “What about you?”

“Am I supposed to answer the same question I asked you?” The American eyed him quizzically.

“Exactly. I’m borrowing your creativity. Writers tend to do it a lot. Go ahead.” Jinyoung insisted.

“That’s plagiarism.” Mark pointed out cheekily.

“There’s nothing original under the sun.” The younger reminded him. Mark snorted and gave up.

“I can’t tell how many guys…But, I guess, two girls. Maybe three? Is that a bad number?” The American said a bit uncertain. Jinyoung internally cursed himself. _So, Mark had sex with girls before_! _Shit!_ _He may not have dated them, but that wouldn’t stop him from bedding them! Oh, God! It’s him. It’s SooYoung’s Mark!_ The author suddenly recalled Jackson’s advice. Jinyoung wondered if he was being seduced by the monster’s bewitching irresistibility. He wondered why he was letting himself be fooled by him so easily. He reminded himself what he was doing there, and sobered up a bit.

“You’re bi, then. Not gay, like Bambam claimed you are. But why have you only been with two girls?” The Korean stared hard at him. He couldn’t believe how carelessly the other talked about the broken-hearted victims he’d only seen as cheap conquests for him. His head tortured him again with images he never witnessed. He convinced himself SooYoung was one of the woman the American mentioned. He wondered if his sister had a taste of those lips that he desired so much now. He wondered how she must’ve felt while being held by those arms. He wondered if Mark was a good lover, and how skilled he was in bed. He himself wished he knew how warm Mark’s body would feel against his, how those doe eyes would fill with lust as he reached the peak of his pleasure. Those forbidden thoughts made Jinyoung feel ashamed of himself and he was incapable of controlling them. Jinyoung’s mind filled itself with unwanted and ‘filthy’ scenarios nonstop.

“I’m the kind of guy who focuses more on quality, not quantity.” Mark clarified and continued. “But the truth is, I guess I was a bit confused when I was younger. I’m not bisexual, I’m completely gay. It just took me a while to accept that girls don’t really turn me on. They were just a phase. By the way, what's your biggest turn-off?"

“Lack of integrity.” Jinyoung felt like suffocating. He still couldn’t believe he felt that attracted by the same man who ruined SooYoung’s life. He felt dirty for lusting after him. He felt like he was betraying his sister. He hated himself for wanting to rip the older’s clothes off and take him right there on his office table.

“Wow, that’s quite original.” Mark huffed. “And vague!”

“Let’s say I hate disloyalty, lies and selfishness.” Jinyoung said briskly, as he tried to keep his cool. Mark frowned at his not so gentle demeanour. Then the younger decided to up his game.

“Have you ever done anything illegal, I mean, besides the dine and dashed episode?” Jinyoung asked, as he encouraged the older to take another sip of the whiskey. Mark accept it without ceremony.

“It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’ve done drugs and also sold them before.” The American sighed.

“How often?” The younger fixed his eyes upon him. He sought for traces of regret, or vestiges of guilt in his expression, but he could only identify discomfort and distress.

“For a while. I was still in college when it started. I had this thing with a drug dealer and whenever there was a frat party on campus, he would be there. I would usually find him more clients. College students never miss a change to get high, you know. I wanted him to be proud of me, so I ruined a couple of lives just to hear a compliment from him. But he’s in prison now and I never touched any of that shit again.” Mark revealed without much discretion, as he looked away. The Korean could only thank that whiskey flask for such an honest answer. Jinyoung was sure that the Cameron guy he read about in Mark’s file was the man he had just mentioned. He couldn’t help but think that Jackson’s private investigators had done a half-assed job. Mark didn’t meet Cameron after he started living with his uncle, apparently Cameron knew him even before he went to live in Downtown LA. That information was new. The damn file didn’t say anything about Cameron and Mark sleeping together either.

“That’s why you dropped out?” Jinyoung gritted his teeth. Now that the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place, he concluded that Jackson had really found the right Mark. The one his sister met at the University of California, the one who used, and impregnated her. The Korean figured out that she was probably one of the many college students Mark drugged, lured to his dorm, and had his way with them.

“I had to. Lots of things going on at the time.” The American’s features saddened even more.

“Do you still love him?” Jinyoung probed further. The Korean wondered if he could take a loved one from Mark too. One eye, for an eye. He thought of maybe ruining one of the American’s sisters, the same way he ruined his. He knew where to find Mark siblings, but he also knew he didn’t contact them anymore. At that moment, the younger made a decision. No matter what Jackson had in store for Mark, the author promised himself that he would find something valuable to the American and take it away from him. He was going to make sure that his sister’s murder never knew a moment of happiness with a loved one ever again.

“What makes you think I ever loved him? I used to be addicted to Cam, just like his clients were addicted to drugs. That was not love.” The older said as he drank the last drops of whiskey in the container.

“Working at a bar is not the best occupation for a former drug addict.” Jinyoung commented, satisfied with the fact that a drunk Mark was a talkative Mark. Finally the nickname “Cam” slipped from his mouth.

“It wasn’t so bad. I didn’t have to go to rehab or anything. I just had to stay away from him. He was a terrible influence, but I didn’t realize that before it was too late. My family was pretty pissed at me when I dropped out. I didn’t have much to look forward to. My uncle was the only one who supported me. I started working for him at the bar. Then when the Alzheimer happened, in one of his rare moments of clarity, he signed a paper and made me the sole owner of his business.” The American muttered, with a faraway look on his face.

“Why is your ex in jail?” Jinyoung pressed.

“Cam? He’s not my ex, because we were never boyfriends. He just fucked me to keep me by his side.” Mark gave Jinyoung a bitter smile and resumed his tale. “He was caught robbing a house. There was a shooting and he fired his gun at a cop.”

“Nasty business. That guy was really bad news then. I’m glad he’s out of your life.” Jinyoung gave him a sympathetic look, but all he wanted now was to wrap both his hands around that long neck and twist it around.

“Hum.” The older muttered. His doe eyes looked tired and sad. The Korean wondered if that pitiful expression was an act.

“Did you ever hurt anyone because of him?”

“My family, my old friends, myself.” Mark’s voice was filled with despair now, but Jinyoung ignored those signs of humanity in him.

“I mean, physically. You just said he shot a cop, what about you, what did you do?” Jinyoung asked. He knew the answer, he knew all of it, but he wanted to hear it from him. He couldn’t fully trust that stupid file anymore.

“How do you know that? I never said I was there with him.” Mark furrowed his brows.

“I guessed.” Jinyoung said coldly. He wanted the American to admit that the house his ‘boyfriend’ tried to rob was the Tuan family’s. He wanted to hear Mark pathetically describe how he led a drug dealer to break into his own parents’ house just to keep feeding his addiction.

“I didn’t hurt anyone.” Mark replied, in a defensive tone. “Let’s not talk about it anymore, okay?”

“Fine. Aren’t you going to ask me more questions? It feels like I already asked you about a hundred and you didn’t have a chance to ask me much.” Jinyoung said attentively, inspecting every single movement of the other.

“Am I really not your type?” A flushed Mark pushed the subject one more time, oblivious to the fact that he was testing the younger’s patience and self-restraint. The Korean slowly leaned on him. Their faces were so close that their noses almost touched. The American licked his lips in anticipation. He was clearly preparing them, offering them to that imminent kiss.

“No, you’re not. _China dolls_ are not my type.” Jinyoung replied crudely, as he pulled away. His eyes hardened as he got off the table and walked away from him. A baffled Mark was left behind in the empty office, as the detestable nickname echoed in his ears.

A perturbed Jinyoung went to his bedroom, but this time, he didn’t have his whiskey flask with him, he had a full bottle of whiskey in his hand. He couldn’t sleep. All he could think was the way Mark shamelessly flirted with him in his office. He tried not to think of how he liked his touch. He cursed himself for almost giving in to the man who once must’ve done the same to his sister. He wanted to taste those rosy lips that were offered to him, he wanted those long fingers not to only brush against his thigh, he wanted them all over him. Hours passed, and the alcohol didn’t make those unwanted feelings subdue, it only made him feel worse about himself and about what he was about to do. He wanted to teach Mark a lesson, and he wouldn’t wait till tomorrow when he’d be completely sober to do something about it. He threw the bottle of whiskey on the floor and went to find the man who made him lose sleep. He opened the door of the guest room and the dim light of the corridor cleared away part of the darkness inside it, as if it beckoned Jinyoung to come closer. He leaned on the door as he observed the American sleeping quietly on the bed. He was lying on his back. He was shirtless and he had one of his arms over his eyes. The sheets barely covered his chest, and only now the Korean noticed a tattoo above his ribs and a number of scars along his side. Jinyoung crawled into the bed to examine him further and as soon as the sheets moved a little, he found out the older was wearing nothing but his underwear. The author longed for the moment that garment would be easily discarded and he could have full access to all of Mark. The American looked unshielded, and flawless in his silent glory. The writer imagined that he could fill hundreds pages of a poetry book trying to illustrate what he saw, but he still wouldn’t be able to describe Mark’s singular exquisiteness accurately. Jinyoung would have stayed the whole night admiring the former bartender’s body if he wasn’t interrupted.

“So you’re indeed interested in that lap dance after all. You almost fooled me when you said I wasn’t your type.” The deep raspy voice awoke the Korean for his trance and he suddenly tried to remind himself again what he was doing there. Mark lifted his arm from his face and stared back at him. Jinyoung grimaced. _The fucker was wide awake the whole time?_ The defiance in his eyes made Jinyoung want to slap him, but all the drunk writer did was crawl on top of him, and start kissing his lips roughly. The American didn’t seem surprised by his advances. He just kissed him back with the same intensity. Mark firmly buried his hands in his hair as the weight of the Korean’s body descended upon him. He enjoyed the taste of alcohol in his mouth, and he couldn’t help but moan into the kiss when the writer started putting his tongue to work. One of the Koreans’ hands gripped his hair and pulled his face to him in order to deepen their kiss even more. But when the Korean started tugging on the waistband of Mark’s underwear, the older stopped his hand.

“You’ve got a condom?” The panting American broke the kiss with difficulty, as the Korean tightened the grip on his hair and tried to capture his mouth again. “Wait, shouldn’t you go get it?” Mark whispered, as he pushed him away slightly.

“Why? You’re not afraid of getting knocked up, are you? It’s not like you’ve never hit it raw, right? Do you think I’m gonna infect you with something? Tell me, did Dan ever wear a condom when he fucked your ass? I didn’t see you ask him about condoms at the backroom of the bar.” Jinyoung slurred, as he sloppily tried to kiss him again, but Mark placed a firm hand on his chest.

“Maybe I’m just concerned about your safety. You don’t fuck whores without a condom, it’s common sense.” He said in a serious tone, his expression cold. The Korean grimaced as he realized the other didn’t look too offended nor taken aback by his words. Jinyoung wanted to hurt and humiliate him, or simply draw some kind of emotion from that emotionless bastard, but as expected, the American wasn’t going to make things easy for him. In his drunken state, the author had no qualms about pushing the older to the limit of his endurance. He would be satisfied if at least a single tear slipped from the corner of his mercilessly indifferent eyes. Yet, Mark didn’t seem to be the crying type.

“Why do you think I offered you a job, huh? What kind of assistance do you think I want from you? You don’t even have a college degree! Why a fucking awesome writer like me would need an ignorant slut like you to help me with a book when the only thing you’re good at is sucking dicks and taking up the ass? Come on! I saw Dan having his fun with you the other night and I just thought I could use you to relieve some stress, you know?” An angry Jinyoung spat, as he let go of Mark’s hair and pushed his hand away from his chest. The Korean waited for a punch, a reproach, or any kind of aggressive response as he glared at the American. Yet, the latter remained impassive. He scoffed when a defeated Jinyoung looked away, climbed off him and got up from the bed.

“If sex is all you want from me, you should have let me know about that earlier. I wouldn’t refuse your offer. However, if you really wanna relieve some stress, as you put it, you might wanna bring some cash and a condom next time you decide to barge into my room in the middle of the night. For this kind of job, you have to pay in advance.” Mark said sharply. Jinyoung crossed his arms over his chest and stood at the edge of his bed, speechless. He racked his brain, trying to find out one single thing that could make Mark care, one possible valuable thing he still held dear in his life. He quickly reviewed his file in his mind. His friend Cameron, or ex-boyfriend, was rotting in prison and the bartender couldn’t care less about what happened to him. The American had left his wealthy family behind and never contacted them, even when he obviously needed financial aid. Mark abandoned his uncle once too and only came back when the old man was about to die. There was also his Thai roommate, Bambam. He could have been the reason why Mark returned to his uncle’s house after disappearing for a month. The old man was dying, and Bambam would be on his own. When Jinyoung mentioned that he would have to leave America for his new job, Mark’s first preoccupation was Bambam. The young man he took in years ago, and never left his side. Maybe the American had an Achilles’ heel after all. It was time to put it to the test.

“Nah! I guess I changed my mind. You kinda bore me. Maybe I should take my chances with the Thai one upstairs. He’s younger and easier. I probably won’t have much trouble getting into his pants. I mean, when my cousin is finished with him, of course.” Jinyoung’s words immediately hit home. He finally saw a spark of emotion in the older’s expression. Still, Mark tried to play it down.

“I’ll cut up both of your hands before you touch a hair on his head.” Mark said sternly as he pursed his lips. Jinyoung smirked victoriously and winked at him. After bidding him goodnight, the writer felt like he could finally get some sleep now. The author knew that he could possibly regret what he did and said in the morning, but he felt extremely accomplished at that moment. He had to thank that whiskey flask for helping him to find out Mark’s weakness at last.


	7. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I had no time to hate, because the grave would hinder me, and life was not so ample I could finish enmity". ~ Emily Dickinson

The next morning Mark had already packed most of his stuff. Since last night, he had already decided to leave the penthouse. He wasn’t really surprised to realize that Park Jinyoung was just like all the other men he had met in his life. The author just happened to be richer and much more handsome. He cursed himself for letting his best friend get involved with the author’s cousin. Yugyeom looked like a good kid, but Mark knew that Bambam and him had no bright future together. They were from totally different worlds. The Korean’s family was obviously pretty well off, and Bambam didn’t even know if his junkie mother was still alive. The Thai young man spent years of his life surviving on leftover food from garbage, while the Korean didn’t look like he ever had to struggle to keep food on his table. Mark had seen a similar story happen before, and he knew it had no chance of a happy ending. They were better off without those two foreigners in their lives.

Park Jinyoung was still an unnerving mystery to him. A nagging puzzle he wasn’t ready to solve. Actually, he didn’t even want to. He couldn’t tell if the man was serious about going after Bambam, yet, he couldn’t risk jeopardizing his friend’s safety in that place. Getting them both out of that penthouse was his priority now. He convinced himself that accepting Yugyeom’s generosity was a mistake, but wishing to trust Jinyoung’s shifty ways was too naïve of him. The American realized that he had gotten ahead of himself when he accepted the Korean’s hospitality, and that kind of behavior was pretty much unlike him. Mark wasn’t one to make snap judgments, he’d usually analyze each situation carefully, after all, life had already taught him to follow the old and wise warning, ‘believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what you see’. He couldn’t understand why he allowed the writer to alienate him from that thought. A blank check, a roof under his head, a job offer, and a trip to the other side of the world? All of that out of the goodness of Jinyoung’s heart? For the first time, in a long time, Mark had let his guard down. For him, it was very clear now that since the beginning, that damned foreigner just intended to have fun with him, because he just saw him as some easy American whore. He believed that Jinyoung had probably got off at what he saw at the backroom of 777 Ways. Mark couldn’t help but assume that the writer subtly sought to take Daniel’s place. The same old story. Special favors in exchange of essential needs. Mark wondered why he didn’t see it coming. Red flags were raised, but the real wake up call only came last night, when the writer came up to him and said to his face that the only work he wanted from him was to ‘relieve some of his stress’.

He wasn’t expecting that the uptight, closeted author would utter something like that. The way he talked about Bambam made Mark’s blood boil. He could barely sleep after that blatant threat. His imagination ran wild. _Was Jinyoung perhaps into sex tourism?_ _What if the Korean planned to sell him and Bambam to Asian costumers as soon as they landed in South Korea?_ _Could Jinyoung be secretly involved in sex trafficking? Well, his Wikipedia page failed to fucking mention that! Being famous and wealthy never stopped anyone from being a criminal, right? It just made things easier. Just because someone is really good at something, and loved by others because of their brilliance, it doesn’t mean they are good people. Moreover, they can be talented at bad stuff too. Perhaps, Jinyoung’s extracurricular activities provided him some sort of inspiration for his novels. Who knows? Maybe whenever his fans believed he was in hiatus, he was busy forcing human beings into sexual slavery. If that was the case, the author was worse than an asshole then._ And Mark had seen that kind of worse. He also knew how to deal with them. But he’d rather go away than handle Jinyoung. He had to figure out where he would take Bambam now. A knock on his door distracted him from his distressing thoughts. He tensed a bit before he heard Yugyeom’s voice calling his name. Mark hesitated but told him to come in. For some reason, he didn’t think that boy could present any kind of harm to him or Bam. He didn’t seem to be as two-faced as his cousin. The American assumed that the kid had no idea of what human trafficking was about. He didn’t think Yugyeom had ulterior motives when he brought them to that penthouse either. He couldn’t be in cahoots with the evil writer, but he could be manipulated into helping his cousin without even knowing what he was capable of. Yugyeom could be inoffensive, yet, he was part of the problem.

“Hey, good morning!” The young man said excitedly as he entered the room. “But his lively expression changed when he saw Mark’s bag next to the bed. “You haven’t unpacked yet?”

“No, Yuggie. I just packed. I’m leaving with Bam as soon as he wakes up. Is he still in your room?” Mark said at once.

“What? No, Mark, listen, you guys can’t leave!” The young Korean said in a desperate tone.

“Yes, we do.” The American declared firmly as he reached for the bag on the floor.

“Why? Where are you going? I thought my cousin gave you a job! What do you mean?” Yugyeom protested. The young man eyed Mark pitifully, but the older wouldn’t waste his time explaining to him the obvious.

“Change of plans. This wouldn’t work anyways. Can you please get Bambam for me?” Mark requested, in a serious tone.

“No, no way! What happened? Did my cousin kick you out? I don’t understand!” Yugyeom was being unreasonably stubborn and Mark was getting low-key pissed off.

“There’s nothing to understand. You know what, I’ll go get him myself. Goodbye, kid.” Mark announced as he tightened his hold on the handle of his bag and moved to the door. However, Yugyeom was faster and blocked his path.

“Is this about the wallet?” he questioned a bit uneasy. “Look, I don’t care if you took the money. You don’t have to feel embarrassed about it, or anything. I know you guys probably needed it. And you didn’t even use it! You returned it to me after all. I’m not mad at you. It’s all cool, seriously. I’m not telling anyone about it. You’re a good guy, hyung!” Yugyeom’s lost puppy face made the older feel sorry for him. Mark really appreciated the fact that the youngster overlooked the empty wallet episode and kept it from Bambam, but that wasn’t enough to change his mind. He would repay his kindness by not telling him about his cousin’s vicious behavior last night, or about his others suspicions. The younger would certainly be scarred for life if Mark told him what Jinyoung said about Bambam. The American could at least spare him of that disappointment.

“What did you just call me?!” Mark frowned, unable to register the Korean’s last word.

“Hyung. It’s how male Koreans address another male who’s older than them in a friendly, but still respectful way.” Yugyeom explained it quickly.

“Thanks for the lesson, will you let me go now?” Mark asked impatiently, trying to move forward one more time. However, Yugyeom’s body still delayed him. Mark wondered what he could do to make him rest his case.

“What can I do to make you stay? Just name it! I’m sure we can-”

“Get out of my way, Kim Yugyeom! I don’t have time for this.” The older shouted as he gave the younger a threatening glare. Mark didn’t want to be mean, but he hoped that a harsher approach could at least scare him off. The brave younger stayed still. The American struggled to make his point. “Look, I should’ve never let you bring us here. I know you meant well, and I can tell that you clearly like him, but the truth is, you’re infatuated by a very superficial idea of him. Kunpimook is not who you think he is. You two are from different backgrounds. You guys have nothing in common. Trust me on this, you’re not meant to be. Grow up, will you? This is not a fucking fairytale.” Mark hastily cut him off and tried to get past the giant kid one more time.

“I love him!” The young Korean confessed with a pleading look on his face. The American sighed heavily. He hoped Bambam wasn’t that smitten with the young Korean. It wouldn’t be easy to convince him to leave if the Thai also believed that they were in love. Mark couldn’t help but feel like the bad guy at that moment.

“Aren’t you listening to me, kid?! You’ve just met Bam! You barely know him. You can’t be in love with him! You’re just-”

“You have no idea of what you’re talking about. You cannot decide my feelings for me. I know exactly how I feel about him. I don’t want him gone and I’m sure he doesn’t wanna leave here either. Please, consider staying a few more days. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sure we can fix whatever is wrong.” A determined Yugyeom begged, Mark swallowed, and almost gave in. There was something about that boy that made him utterly trustable. Maybe he really liked Bambam more than he thought, and by the way his friend was acting since they arrived in that house, he was clearly taken with the young Korean too. The American felt more than entitled to nip that little romance in the bud. He knew he had to end that fantasy right there.

“Did he tell you what he used to do before I found him eating garbage next to my uncle’s bar?” Mark didn’t waste time beating around the bush now. Yugyeom just shook his head.

“He’ll tell me when he’s ready. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t have to tell me anything he’s not comfortable to share. No pressure. To be honest, I don’t even care what he did in the past. I’m not gonna let him go back-”

“He used to sell his body on the streets. That’s how he was able to survive most of his life. His foster family used to abuse him. He still have nightmares because of the beatings.” Mark felt uncomfortable sharing that with the younger, but he felt it was necessary. Something had to be done before it was too late. He didn’t want to see a heartbroken Bambam crying over a rich kid who abandoned him because of his dreary past. An uneasy Yugyeom became silent for a long minute. Then he scratched the nape of his neck and seemed to ponder what he had heard.

“Jesus, poor Bam. That’s… just awful.” Yugyeom muttered and then eyed Mark again. “But you know what? None of that changes how I feel, it just makes me love him more. If he survived that kind of thing, he’s stronger than I thought. He’s a fighter and I’m proud of him.” The Korean stated firmly. The older laughed at his face.

“He will leave you once he learns I told you about it. I know him! He’ll be ashamed to even look you in the eye.” Mark was aware that his words stung but he didn’t care. Yugyeom wasn’t ready for the low blow, so all he could do now was whine.

“Come on, you’re just gonna hurt him if you do that. And I know that’s not your intention. I know you’re like a big brother to him. Mark hyung, I beg you. Please!” Yugyeom said exasperated, but the older just pushed him away and walked out of the bedroom with his bag. He furiously climbed up the stairs to Yugyeom’s room and found it empty. His heart almost stopped when he passed by Jinyoung’s door and also found his room empty. When he came down the stairs, he felt like losing his mind. Yugyeom was already waiting for him in the living room.

“Kim! Where’s that wretched cousin of yours? What did he do with my friend?” Mark demanded as he felt an unbearable tightness in his chest. He couldn’t believe he had let that man take Bam from him. He had promised the Thai he would never have to suffer the kind of violence he went through when he was younger. He knew he couldn’t save himself, he was too far gone in hell to even care about what happened to him, but he liked to think that his young friend still had a better future ahead of him. The American always tried to make sure that Bam was safe and sound, but for some reason, he got fooled by a goddam writer this time. He swore to protect the younger at all costs, and he believed that now he had failed him.

“Calm down. They went out shopping earlier this morning. I was too lazy to get up from the bed and Jinyoung said he could show him Hollywood a bit. Bambam simply said yes and I don’t see a problem in it. What do you think my cousin could possibly do to him?” Yugyeom said innocently with a shrug. He was somewhat relieved that they weren’t back yet. He wondered if he could convince the older to listen to reason.

“Who do you think you’re kidding? Are you in this shitty business too? Are you his partner or something?!” Mark yelled at him. The American didn’t know what to believe anymore. He didn’t want to think that he was wrong about Yugyeom too.

The young Korean became alarmed when he watched Mark’s eyes water. The older looked devastated when he let go of his bag, put both his hands on his face and succumbed on the floor. Before Yugyeom could ask him what was wrong, the front door opened. The pair could hear Bambam and Jinyoung talking animatedly even before they reached the living room. Bambam was carrying several shopping bags full of designer clothing that the writer had just bought for him. However, as soon as he witnessed a disconsolate Mark crying on the floor, he let go of all of them, and ran in his direction. Yugyeom remained perplexed, as he watched the Thai kneel before the American and embrace him tightly. It looked like a touching scene from a K-drama. Bambam kept asking if Mark was all right and whispering sweet nothings to him, while the older simply nodded and tried to contain his tears. Jinyoung was petrified. He even took off his Cartier sunglasses in order to believe what he was seeing. Mark sobbing. He yearned to see that for a while. Bambam was definitely the key then. The author had no doubt of it. Now he knew the best way to make his enemy weep. _Good._

“Is everything all right in here?” Jinyoung asked cynically as he turned to his cousin next to the couch. He tried to remain indifferent to the pair hugging on the floor, but the sound of the American’s sobs was already making him feel sick to his stomach. He didn’t like that pitiful symphony as much as he thought he would.

“You tell me what is wrong! Mark wants to leave us! And you’re probably the reason.” Yugyeom promptly accused his cousin, without taking his eyes from the pair. The author immediately concluded that Mark didn’t reveal to his cousin how their 21 questions game ended last night.

“Nonsense. Since they arrived, all I do is try to make them feel as comfortable as possible. If he wants to leave, I have nothing to do with it. Seriously, just ask him.” Jinyoung defended himself, as he wondered why the American kept his mouth shut about what happened last night between them.

“Oh, come on, hyung! You must have done something! Yesterday everything was fine and now-”

“Believe me, Gyeom-ah, I want them to stay as much as you do.” Jinyoung almost shouted at the younger. Already thinking of a way to make the American stay. He quickly reminded himself that letting him leave wasn’t an option, even though he felt extremely ashamed by what he did to the older.

“Bam, Gyeom. Go upstairs. I need to speak with Jinyoung in private.” Mark’s cold, indifferent and emotionless tone was back. When Jinyoung turned to him he had already stood up, and his tears were gone. His eyes were a bit puffy, but they seemed to be regaining their strength by the second. The author was relieved. Anything was better than a weeping Mark. Now that he knew how to make him cry, he didn’t feel like making a habit of it.

“Fuck that! I am not going anywhere, Mark! You can’t expect me to leave you two alone after I just witnessed you having a nervous breakdown right in front of me! I want to know what is going on with you. You’ve been strange lately. You’re hiding stuff from me. This ends now.” Bambam protested, standing with one hand on his hip. “Spill it out!”

“Go pack. We’re leaving in fifteen minutes.” Mark ignored him completely.

“What?!” Bambam furrowed his brows. “Did he do anything to you?” He asked more emphatically, as he pointed at the writer, who kept playing dumb.

“Mark, please, stay.” Yugyeom insisted as he moved to pick up the older’s bag from the floor, but the latter stopped him.

“Just leave it, Gyeom-ah. Maybe he misses his old neighborhood. It’s seems our China doll have his own sensitivities after all.” Jinyoung teased. He wished he could control his mouth, but that seemed to be impossible. He knew the nickname wasn’t welcome, that’s why he used it. Yet, for some reason, he felt like crap for being so obnoxious. What he didn’t expect was the weight of the fist that collided with his face.

“You shut the fuck up, you fucker! Where did you hear that, huh? Don’t you ever call him that again, you piece of shit! Don’t you fucking dare!” An enraged Bambam roared, as he moved to attack the wounded writer again, but Yugyeom held him back. The Thai was still trying to fight the speechless Korean when Mark came closer to him and tried to calm him down. Bambam’s eyes looked unfocused and savage for a few seconds, his struggles continued, until Mark started caressing his hair. His best friend looked him in the eye and managed to assure him that everything was fine. Yugyeom seemed frightened by Bambam’s sudden irascible behavior, but when Mark instructed him to take his friend upstairs, he quickly guided the Thai young man to his room. Bambam didn’t put up a fight this time. He just looked quiet and drained. As soon as the writer and the former bartender were the only ones in the room, Jinyoung started speaking.

“What the hell was that? I buy him stuff and that’s how he repays me? Geez, that kid does know how to hit. To be honest, I saw some signs of PTSD for a moment there. I guess that being homeless and exploited for years can do that to a person.” He commented bitterly as he got up from the floor. He still held his injured cheek with one hand when he sat on his armchair and avoided the older’s eyes. He somewhat felt relieved for being punched, since he believed he deserved it. Bambam had avenged his best friend without even knowing what had happened. The author felt less burdened, now that he considered that he didn’t completely get away with what he did yesterday. Jinyoung even felt tempted to ask Mark to take a swing at him too. At least for being the drunk creep who invaded his room and tried to convince the older to have sex with him. He wondered if he should thank the American for stopping his advances. He wished he could make the other see that he knew he had crossed a line. He didn’t want Mark to think that he was used to crawl into sleeping people’s bed at night and touch them inappropriately. Jinyoung wasn’t that kind of person, but since his plane landed in the US, he felt more like a villain than a hero. Deep down, he was not comfortable with any of those roles, he missed just being his old, boring self. The writer who never missed his deadlines, and only had to worry about creating the best story possible for his readers. He missed being in peace. He wished he had never found SooYoung’s note. He wished he had never showed it to Jackson. He wished his sister was alive and that he had never met Mark. His life would’ve been easier that way.

“Where did you take him?” Mark demanded abruptly, narrowing his eyes at him.

“To the mall? I didn’t do anything to him, Mark. I just bought him a bunch of stuff.” The Korean admitted as he pointed to the shopping bags on the floor.

“Why? That’s how you plan to get into his pants? It’s not gonna work, you know.” The older said in a determined tone. Jinyoung gave him a dirty look. It never crossed the author’s mind to make a pass at Bambam, but he understood why Mark thought like that. Last night Jinyoung had given the older enough reasons to believe that he was a scumbag.

“Actually, I was more interested in getting answers from him. He probably knows you better than anyone. And I want to know more about my new employee, so I thought he could help me figuring you out. But it turns out you have a hell of a loyal friend in there. He managed to dodge all my questions during our shopping spree.” Jinyoung informed him sourly. He was exhausted, and it wasn’t just because of his hangover.

“If you want to know more about your fucking new assistant just ask me directly! Stay away from Bam. What are you playing at? What about last night? Was that a joke?” The fuming American retorted, giving him a suspicious look.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay! I was drunk and horny.” Jinyoung remembered everything that had happened last night. The hangover he felt that morning forced him to believe that that embarrassing episode really happened. He just didn’t want to discuss it. He didn’t know why the alcohol drove him to the American’s bed. He didn’t know why the booze didn’t give him enough courage to simply murder him in his sleep. He hated himself for touching the other like that. He hated himself for wanting it, even now. He was supposed to loathe that man, to be disgusted by the mere sight of him. Nevertheless, his feelings confused him. He wished he was wrong about Mark, because he couldn’t help but feel less resentment towards him by the minute, and that shouldn’t be happening. That was not the plan. His guilt was eating at him.

“So you’re not going after Bam?” Mark asked in annoyance, making an exaggerated gesture with his arms.

“Relax, I was just trying to piss you off. Yugyeom would never let me go shopping with the kid if he thought I was a threat to whatever is going on between them.” Jinyoung explained. He knew he didn’t have to, but he did it anyway. He wanted to say sorry, but the words wouldn’t come out.

“Why did you want to piss me off? I thought we were getting along during that stupid game. One minute things were okay, and the next they weren’t. Why were you suddenly trying so hard to make me feel like crap yesterday?” The American genuinely wanted to hear his motives.

“Obviously it didn’t work. Not until this morning, when I decided to take your best friend for a walk. What did you think that I was gonna do? I can’t believe you actually took seriously what drunk me said about Bam. I mean no harm, not to him, at least.” Jinyoung replied wearily. He wasn’t in the mood for drama, not at that time of the day. Not after last night. Not with a headache and an injured cheek. Not after considering calling off that revenge.

“How do you know Bam used to be homeless?” An enraged Mark questioned, pressing his lips into a thin line as he towered over his chair. Jinyoung grimaced.

“He told me.” He lied, realizing the mistake he made minutes ago.

“No, he didn’t. Bambam didn’t even tell Yugyeom about his past. You just said you guys were out and he didn’t open up to you either. Now you suddenly know he used to live on the streets. Who are you, Park Jinyoung? What is your deal?” The American stared hard at him. His desert-sand brown orbs were defiant. The writer felt cornered by the lack of fear in them.

“Believe me, you don’t wanna know.” Jinyoung muttered, without much strength for that kind of argument. But his answer only made the older more curious.

“Oh, I do! So you’d better start talking!” Mark shouted and the other winced.

“Can we do this another time? I’m not feeling well.” The Korean inhaled, as he massaged his temples.

“What is it that you’ve been hiding?” Mark narrowed his eyes, as he leaned on him to have a better look at his eyes. However, Jinyoung could not bring himself to face him yet. Therefore, the older grabbed his chin and forced the younger to meet his scrutinizing gaze. The Korean was taken aback by that gesture. It still vexed him, the way Mark’s touch scorched his skin.

“Leave me alone, Mark.” Jinyoung requested quietly, now staring deep into his eyes. He really wished the American would stop talking now. He wanted to tell the older to stop touching him. He didn’t want to end up like SooYoung. He didn’t know if he could stand being so close to him and not be hypnotized by his voice. He had to silence Mark, but he didn’t want to get angry and say something that he might regret. He didn’t want to screw up Jackson’s plan either, although he felt like he didn’t want to be part of it anymore. He was confused and he felt like getting away from there, from that country, from him. However, he just pushed those his flaming fingers away from his chin, and took a deep breath. Mark still remained dangerously close to him. Enticing him.

“Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? Why did you tell your cousin to meet you at 777 Ways in the first place? Why my fucking bar? You certainly know nothing about that neighborhood. You wouldn’t send him there if you knew. Or maybe you knew, but you needed an excuse to go there anyways, and then show up at my apartment. Why did you give me that blank check? Why did you offer me and Bam shelter in your penthouse? Why would you give me a job just to get me out of the country?!” Mark demanded sharply, as the Korean eyes grew large. Just now he realized that the American wasn’t easily deceived. The author made an uncomfortable sound. The other sneered, as he noticed the younger’s disconcert. “Exactly! That’s what you want, right? Send me to South Korea, no matter what it takes! Even though you see me as an ‘ignorant slut’, I’m not stupid, Jinyoung.”

“No, you’re not stupid, you’re a fucking murderer.” The author muttered to himself in Korean. His mother language just slipped out of his mouth. Mark frowned, unable to understand him. But he knew he was getting somewhere. Therefore, he continued his verbal attack.

“Why play that foolish game yesterday night just to try to get me drunk and make me talk about Cameron? Tell me, did you really think I was drunk?! You’ll need thousands of bottles of whiskey to get me drunk. I’m a fucking bartender, I know how to drink! You actually think I was buying your act? Try again. You might not be trafficking humans, but you’re obviously bad news. You’re not looking for a random sex worker to pass the time. It’s more personal than that. You surely know more than you’re letting on. Who sent you? Why do you want to know so much about me? Is Cam playing games again?” The American spat, making the younger grit his teeth. His face was so close to him that Jinyoung’s eyes couldn’t help but chase his irresistible lips. The same ones he abused yesterday night. And how he loved to kiss them, nibble on them aggressively and massage them with his own! It felt exhilarating to part them open and insert his tongue between them, just to assault his mouth. He felt blessed for having tasted the devil’s venom. He was condemned at that point. He craved to sip more of that venom, more deeply, more intimately! He didn’t forget for a minute that same venom killed his loving sister. Yet, he didn’t mind dying from it too. He couldn’t believe he kept desiring it, even though it could destroy him. He had never longed for something so doomed in his life, so sinful and wrong. That feeling was pure hell. His headache was about to explode right now. Mark made him ill. Insane. He was unable to come up with an excuse to avoid that conversation. He could barely think. He didn’t even try. The American had him. Jackson’s plan was going to hell. He couldn’t keep his feelings in check anymore. So he lost it. Completely.

“Wouldn’t you like to know! Look here, Tuan, you should wipe that smart look from your fucking face! The truth is, you have nowhere else to go, and no one to give you shelter. You even decided to accept this suspicious job as my assistant because you’re too desperate! You can’t take poor problematic Bam back to that shitty apartment in downtown LA. You can’t keep him safe, fed and clothed. Your fucking bar is gone, your dear ‘Dan’ went AWOL, your boyfriend is in prison, and you’re too stupid to find a proper job. You’re fucked! Admit it.” Jinyoung had had enough. He had two options, downing the older’s venom, or gushing out some of his. He chose the latter. Instead of letting himself be seduced, he lashed out. He couldn’t bottle up his emotions any longer, he was ready to let it all out. “You think your family would take you back? After you decided to live with that shady uncle of yours? After you whored yourself to keep that damn bar opened? You only have me, and you know it. So go unpack right now, and don’t make a scene. You are not going anywhere.” He spat as he stood up from his chair and glared at the American. A wide-eyed Mark unconsciously took a step back.


	8. The Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?” ― Clarice Lispector

“Do you know me? Do I know you?” Mark’s voice denounced his shock, he was unable to believe his own ears. No, the Korean was not involved in human trafficking, nor he was into sex tourism either. Lots of ideas crossed the older’s mind previously, but he never considered that someone could be after him. Now, the American couldn’t help but think that somehow, he was a target. He didn’t know why, or since when, but the possibility was mind-blowing.

Since the first day he met the author, he knew something was off about him. Jinyoung’s ambiguity confounded him to no end. Sometimes the younger eyed him with sympathy, but other times he just stared at him with nothing but pure contempt. The Korean could’ve fooled him if he hadn’t shown his true colors occasionally. The way Jinyoung shoved him on the floor of his old apartment, the way he called him names when he returned the blank check and Yugyeom’s wallet, the way he spat the term _China Doll_ whenever he had a chance, and his outburst last night, all of it had to mean something. Something deeply personal. Mark never believed his ‘charity’ completely. His kindness and generosity were too good to be true. _The road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions._ Mark almost smiled at the thought. What Jinyoung didn’t know was that Mark was already in hell, and he didn’t mind the company at all. The American felt strangely flattered. He would never imagine he had been secretly antagonized by the Asian all that time. It had been a while since he felt preyed upon by someone else. He almost forgot how it felt like, the peculiar excitement of it. His China Doll’s days weren’t over after all. Now more than ever, the older wanted to know whom he was dealing with. He had no idea of what Jinyoung had against him, and that mystery needed to be unraveled. Luckily for him, the writer seemed to be ready to throw the whole truth at his face right now. The author was about to let his mask fall, and Mark was willing to play whatever game he challenged him to accordingly. A deafening, calculating silence followed. The undeniable anguish etched in the younger’s expression demanded to be translated into words. The Korean opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out of it. Mark frowned at it, but soon he realized that the only reason Jinyoung held back his words was the sudden presence of another someone in the penthouse.

“Sorry for barging in. The door was open.” Daniel said as he slowly walked in the living room, making the other two abruptly turn to him. He looked pleased to see Mark, but he just ignored the seething writer. “Missed me?” he asked the American with a hideous smile on his lips.

“D-dan, how come you’re here?” A perplexed Mark hadn’t had time to fully comprehend Jinyoung’s speech yet, and the drug dealer’s arrival only increased his stupefaction. He wondered if the Daniel and Jinyoung already knew each other even before the author walked on them in the backroom of 777 Ways. _Did he underestimate the writer?_ _Are they together in this? Whatever the fuck this is?_ The whole situation bemused the former bartender _._ He needed to be smart and cautious in order to understand what was going on.

“I tracked your phone, Doll. Apps can do that. What’s with the bag? Finally coming back home? By the way, where’s that friend of yours? I know that bringing you home means taking him back too. You tend to get a bit feisty when the Thai is not around. You bitches are inseparable. He must be with you. Go get him already.” Dan ordered without much patience as he came dangerously closer to the American.

“This is private property. You’re trespassing.” Jinyoung started. He knew the man was dangerous, but he was too angry at the moment to allow himself to feel fear.

“And what you’re gonna do about it? Call 911, you fucking chink?” Daniel asked as he took a gun out of his jacket and aimed it at him. The Korean gasped, Mark sighed, and closed his eyes for a brief second. _Maybe they aren’t allies, or maybe, they are just acting_. The American wasn’t sure.

“Bam is not here. Since we left the neighborhood, we went on separate ways. I needed money, so I let this man buy me for a night.” Mark said in a soft tone, as he put an arm on Dan’s shoulder and caressed it a bit, trying to convince him to lower the gun.

“You’re whoring yourself again?! Doll, Cameron said I’m supposed to look after you, right? We can’t have these rich fuckers touching you inappropriately. How much did he pay you?” Daniel lowered the gun while he eyed Mark in disbelief. Jinyoung simply crossed his arms and watched the scene in utter contempt. He wanted to see how the former bartender would handle the man this time.

“He was about to pay me when you interrupted us. As soon as he does, you and I can leave this place and go back, if I’m still welcomed there, of course.” Mark seemed to have find a way out of that situation, but Jinyoung wasn’t going to cooperate with him.

“Of course you are, Doll. That neighborhood will always be your home! Nobody is gonna fuck with you. Cameron made me boss, I just went to see him in prison. We can find you another bar if you want. Now if those motherfuckers mess with you, they will have to answer to me.” Dan bragged, as he slipped a hand around Mark’s waist. The American didn’t even flinch, but Jinyoung didn’t miss the way the apathy in his eyes doubled.

“Good for you. But Mark Tuan is not going anywhere.” Jinyoung said out of the blue. The American wondered if the author was insane. Daniel raised an eyebrow at his tone, then huffed.

“You told him your real name?” Daniel looked at Mark puzzled. The seemingly indifferent American simply shrugged. Then the drug dealer’s eyes fell upon Jinyoung again. “Do you wish to use him a bit more? You can’t get enough of him, right?” Daniel clicked his tongue and spit on the floor. “That’s why I can’t have him running around alone like this. Once a guy have a taste of this piece of ass, he becomes addicted.” He scoffed, as he slapped Mark’s butt. The latter didn’t seem bothered by the action.

“Tell me about it.” Jinyoung clenched his teeth, but he managed to stay put. The way the man possessively held on the other’s waist, the way he carelessly chose the foulest language possible in his presence, and the way he rudely interrupted a serious conversation, made the Korean’s blood boil. The writer abhorred people without manners, and Daniel happened to be one of the most impolite people in the world.

“Kill an addiction before it kills you.” Mark chimed in, as he gave Jinyoung an indescribable look. Those words hit home, even though Mark was unaware of the internal conflict that the Korean was going through, that sentence made sense to him.

“Was he good? What did you guys do?” Daniel asked curiously, noticing the tension in the room.

“A little bit of everything. I didn’t have a chance to get near the Thai though.” Jinyoung claimed teasingly. He knew exactly how to push Mark’s buttons. The latter obviously reacted to the statement as expected.

“Of course not! Because he is not here.” The American glared at the Korean for a second, then gave Daniel a forced smile. “Dan, he’s boring. Can we go now?” Mark said nervously. He had no time to play games with those two anymore. All he wanted was to get out of there and keep the man from harming the people inside that house. He couldn’t stop thinking that Bambam or Yugyeom could come downstairs at any minute.

“What about the money? If He said that you guys did a little bit of everything, so that means he fucked all your holes. Now, it’s time to get paid, doll. By the looks of this place, this chink won’t have a problem spending his dough on you.” Daniel retorted viciously as he swiftly winked at Mark and looked into the writer’s direction.

“I’m not paying him shit. He’s lousy in bed. Maybe you, as his pimp, should teach him some manners.” Jinyoung said in a crude tone. Mark went pale for a second then lowered his eyes to the floor. His demeanor changed. The Korean was loving that, as much as he was hating it.

“His pimp?” Daniel eyed the American with amusement, then focused his attention on the writer again. Well, I’m all for teaching him some manners. Running away without telling me first was indeed a huge mistake of him. Now he seems to have found a sugar daddy in Hollywood Hills, and he’s unable to perform like he should. What a disgrace.” Dan shook his disapprovingly.

“Dan.” It was all Mark managed to say. The man only made a simple gesture to silence him. Daniel placed one of his fingers on his lips and the American went still. The dealer snickered and sat back on the couch, dragging Mark to sit by his side.

“Come here, sit on my lap.” The man ordered in a commanding voice. Jinyoung wasn’t sure if that kind of thing should be happening there on his couch, but he didn’t do anything to stop it. He imagined that whatever was about to happen to Mark, he deserved it, for what he did to SooYoung.

“Come on, let’s just go. You found me, you have me. I can’t wait to go back.” An agitated Mark tried to reason with the man once more, but the latter just gave him an angry look and gripped his hair tightly. Mark gulped and lifted his head to meet his eyes.

“I said, sit your fucking ass on my lap, China Doll! Why don’t you just do what I tell you? Maybe your new friend is right. Have you forgotten everything you’ve been taught? It seems I ought to refresh your mind a bit, and make you a doll again.” Daniel muttered, as he yanked him by the arm and pulled him on his lap. Jinyoung felt nauseated when the man met his eyes again. “You can watch if you want, you know? You might even enjoy it. China doll loves an audience.” The man sneered, as he ran his hands on Mark’s thigh and slid the gun inside his pants.

“Can I come closer? I can pay you a lot if you just let me record it.” Jinyoung declared with a forced smirk as he took his cell phone out of his pocket. He was about to puke, but when the degenerate man nodded, he still sat on the coffee table that was right in front of the couch and held up his cell phone camera. It wasn’t on, yet, he pretended it was. Mark’s lifeless expression was tearing him apart. He didn’t even blink twice when Daniel removed the gun from his pants and put it on the other side of the couch. The American didn’t even struggle to get free when the man took a pocket knife out of his pocket an whispered vulgarities in his ear.

“You know the drill, doll. You mustn’t make a sound. Whether you like or hate my touches, you’re not supposed to utter a single noise. Dolls don’t scream, dolls don’t move either. If I hear a simple groan come out of you, or if you try to get away from me, you know what happens. Those scars are there to remind you of what you are. Every time you forget, I can make another one, so you’ll remember you’re an delicate thing, made of glazed porcelain. You feel nothing, you are nothing.” Daniel said while he pressed the pocketknife against Mark’s shirt with one hand and inserted one of his fingers inside his mouth. Jinyoung grimaced. Suddenly, the American’s eyes looked uncannily vacant and his body never seemed so motionless. He let his head fall back over Daniel’s shoulder while the man groped him, and licked his neck. Only now, Jinyoung seemed to grasp the meaning of the nickname. The writer remembered the scars he saw on Mark last night, and he quickly assumed that the drug dealer was responsible for them. Well, the author wasn’t about to let a human being be carved like a statue made of stone, not under his watch. A wave of heroism washed over the Korean. Daniel was too busy sucking on Mark’s shoulder to notice that the writer had grabbed the expensive vase that decorated the coffee table and aimed at his head. He was just trying to find a better angle to hit the man without injuring the American. Jinyoung then glanced at the gun next to the man’s leg and made his move. However, his abrupt action drew Daniel’s attention to him, making him lift his head up. The drug dealer quickly pushed Mark away, and when he tried to reach for the gun, Jinyoung broke the vase on his head, causing the man to black out immediately. Blood soaked the white pompous couch, as Jinyoung tried to register what he had done. He took a deep breath and turned to Mark, who still wasn’t moving.

“Mark.” He whispered extremely worried, as he held the American’s face to him. His eyes remained glassy, and absent. “Mark!” He raised his voice as he shook his shoulders and tried to make the man sit properly on the couch. “Goddammit, move! We gotta do something and get Bambam and Yugyeom out of here!” He raised his voice as he slapped his face. Mark blinked, and finally seemed to realize what was going on.

“Shit! What did you do? Is he dead?” The alarmed American stood up abruptly, took some distance from the Korean and gazed at the wounded man on the couch.

“Where were you? Didn’t you see what happened?” A flabbergasted Jinyoung asked in a tremulous voice. The author was completely lost at that moment. He wasn’t sure why he did what he did, but he just hoped he hadn’t turned into a killer. One worse than Mark.

“I checked out. You didn’t have woken me up to see this.” The older whispered awkwardly, as he walked to the couch again, and picked up the gun lying next to Daniel. The Korean frowned.

“What are you doing? We shouldn’t touch it. When the police arrives-”

“Fuck the police! Where were we again?” Mark cut him off suddenly as he cocked the gun and pointed it to the writer. “Let’s pick up where we left of, Jinyoungie. Who the fuck are you?!” The latter sighed.

“You know who I am, I’m a bestselling author from Korea. You googled my name, remember?” The Korean stated, realizing that he had permanently screwed up his and Jackson’s plan. He had said too much. He let his emotions get in the way of his goal again. However, he still tried to distract Mark from that topic. “Now, look, we can talk more about this later, once we solve that problem right there.” Jinyoung replied guiltily, as he pointed to the bloody mess on his couch.

“No. Forget Dan. He doesn’t matter. You tell me who you are right now, or I am going to shoot you. Believe me, I know how to use this.” Mark assured him, as he came closer to the writer.

“You won’t shoot.” The uncertain writer muttered.

“And why is that?” Mark scowled.

“Because your dear friend will come down the stairs and see what you’ve done.” The writer didn’t know the American that well to assume that he wouldn’t shoot, but he imagined that the older wouldn’t want Bambam to witness that scene.

“For your information, he saw me doing worse.” Mark replied with a sneer, as he came dangerously close to the writer, letting the barrel of the gun touch the younger’s forehead. “I’m gonna give you one more chance to tell me who you are. Be smart.”

“Look me in the eye and figure it out yourself! Don’t I look familiar to you? What about my last name? Doesn’t it ring a bell? Are you gonna take my life too? Like you made her took hers?!” Jinyoung finally gave in. His voice was filled with so much hatred that it took the American by surprise. The latter stared at the writer for a long while with a puzzled expression on his face.

“I still don’t get it! Who are talking about? You’re gonna have to be more specific than that-”

_“I’m strangling my hope with a rope in order to kill it. In order to live forever with your light, my existence must cease.”_ Jinyoung quoted part of his sister’s suicide note, but Mark still had no idea of what he was referring to. He just eyed him in confusion.

“Is this a poem or something? Just stop with the charades! I won’t know what this is about unless you tell me-”

“Are Yugyeom and I the only Korean people you’ve met in your sordid life? Come on, think about your college days. Have you forgotten her already? Did she really mean that little to you?” Jinyoung pressed, narrowing his eyes at him. The American seemed to think for a bit, then suddenly his eyes widened.

“Wait, SooYoung? Are you related to SooYoung?” A clearly overwhelmed Mark dropped the gun on the floor and blinked several times. “How come?”

“I want to know what you did to my sister, that’s why I am here.” Jinyoung revealed as he stared hard at him.

“Sister?” The older gulped. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…I mean, it’s not what you think.” Mark argued, but his guilty expression crushed the Korean’s heart. _Yes, it’s him. His sister’s indirect murderer._

“Is that so? Are you gonna tell me that you didn’t seduce her, nor impregnated her!?” Jinyoung spat angrily. “Stop playing dumb! Admit that you’re a monster! It’s because of you that she became suicidal! She couldn’t live with the shame of being knocked up by a foreigner! She couldn’t go back to her family or her fiancé after that! You drover her to take her own life. My family had to take her back home in a fucking coffin! You ruined my sister!” Jinyoung accused, as a disconcerted Mark backed away from him. He looked like he was cornered for a second, but he swiftly recomposed himself and regained some sort of confidence.

“She’s… gone. There’s nothing you, or I can do about it. Forget this, for your own sake.” Mark said at once, as he turned around and ran upstairs, ignoring the Korean’s protests. Mark knew that now, more than ever, he needed to find his best friend and get out of that place. Therefore, he quickly started searching all the rooms upstairs. He called out Bambam’s name, but he got no response. The rooms were all empty. The American’s heart was in his mouth when he realized that neither Yugyeom nor Bambam were in the house. He came back to the staircase, where he found Jinyoung waiting for him at the foot of the stairs.

“You’re not going anywhere.” A consternated Jinyoung stated, and Mark quickly noticed the gun in his right hand. It wasn’t pointed at him, but it was certainly supposed to intimidate him. The writer didn’t know what to do with that gun. He never imagined that morning would turn out like that. He needed help with the bleeding drug dealer on the couch, and he also needed to make sure the older wouldn’t run.

“We don’t have time for this. Bam and your cousin are not here. What if Daniel isn’t alone? What if someone took them?!” Mark’s voice cracked. “You’re not working with Dan, are you?” Jinyoung looked surprised by the question and low-key offended. _What the fuck is he talking about? Does he really think I have something to do with this unwanted visitor?_ The Korean groaned in frustration. That was definitely one of the worst days of his life. The older waited for an answer, but all the writer did was shake his head in denial, and signal him to come down. The American hesitated.

“If Dan is dead, we need to get rid of the body first, and then we can go look for them.” The younger said as he looked away. Disposing of dead bodies was not his thing. He was just writer! He could describe what had to be done in the occasion, but he would never do it himself. He would probably pass out if he even tried to touch a corpse. Nevertheless, he had to put a tough front now, he would try his best not to panic in front of the older. Mark studied the younger for a long second, then he came down the stairs and slowly passed by him. The Korean said nothing, as he eyed the American walk to the couch, and place two fingers against Daniel’s neck.

“He’s not dead.” Mark declared, convinced that he felt a pulse there. Jinyoung sighed in relief as he realized he hadn’t become a killer yet. However, he knew Mark was another story.

“Finish him, then. I know you want to.” Jinyoung said, as he pointed to the pocketknife forgotten on the couch. He wasn’t sure of what the older would do. He didn’t know why he had made such an unscrupulous suggestion either. Perhaps, he just wanted to have one more reason to be disgusted by the older, or perhaps witness something he couldn’t convince himself that Mark was able to do.

“No.” Mark said quickly.

“After what he did to you? You killed my sister but you can’t kill this piece of shit who-”

“I didn’t kill your sister! No one did! It was a suicide, remember?! She did it to herself! If you really want to blame someone, blame her! What do you intend to accomplish here anyways? Is it revenge? I wonder how far you’ll go with this. You’re obviously dumber than her! Recklessness apparently runs in the Park’s blood!” Jinyoung couldn’t contain his anger and this time, he punched Mark with all his strength. The American was knocked out cold.


	9. The Agreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”  
> ― William Shakespeare

Jinyoung finally panicked for real. He stared at the messy scene in his living room for a while. He felt like hyperventilating. The only two people with him in that room were unconscious because of him. He wished that his headache would go way, he wished he had locked the damned door of that penthouse when he arrived with Bambam, and he also wished he hadn’t punched the American. He actually felt no remorse for breaking a vase on the drug dealer’s head, but he knew that hitting Mark was not a wise move. Jackson’s plan had sadly gone to hell. He convinced himself that justice for SooYoung would never be achieved now that he had told Mark who he was. He felt like crying when he realized that coming to the U.S. was a waste of time and energy. He wondered if he would end up in some American jail after what he did. He felt like he was far from being a hero now. He would never be the leading man of that story.

His dreadful thoughts were interrupted when he suddenly remembered that his cousin was not in the house. A new wave of worry assaulted his troubled mind. He couldn’t have an emotional breakdown yet. Therefore, he quickly sent a message to Yugyeom in order to find out where he was. After a few seconds, his cousin fortunately replied, and told him that he and Bambam had left through a window of the patio. The youngster claimed that he and the Thai would only go back to the house until Jinyoung decided to apologize to Mark for whatever the hell he did to him to make him want to leave. The author was relieved to know that the pair was safe. Knowing that none of them were kidnapped, nor saw what happened in the living room, helped to ease his burdened conscience a little. The Korean believed that he could convince them to return to the penthouse once he was able to clean the war zone in the middle of his living room. The only problem was that he didn’t know where to start. He was sure Mark would wake up soon, but he didn’t know about Daniel. Soon, he convinced himself that he had no other choice but to call Jackson. He ended up telling him everything that happened through the phone. Between sobs, he explained to him that he didn’t know what to do about the bleeding man on the couch, or the passed out Mark beside him. The Chinese was obviously mad, but he still was able to comfort the exasperated writer.

_“Get him out of there and leave the house. I’ll take care of the rest.”_

_“What the hell will you be able to do? You’re still in Hong Kong.”_

_“I know people, Jinyoung. I wouldn’t have sent you there, to deal with that criminal, if I weren’t able to guarantee your safety.”_

_“You have people watching me all this time?!”_

_“Why do you think you and your cousin were able to go in and out of that hideous neighborhood whenever you pleased? I’m investing lots of money on this plan, all I hope is that you make it work smoothly.”_

_“You could’ve told me! A fucking gangster pulled a gun on me today. If I knew I had bodyguards, I would’ve at least called out for them.”_

_“The penthouse is safe! It has a security system. You were supposed to at least keep the damn door closed.”_

_“It doesn’t look good, Sseunah. The Daniel guy is bleeding a lot. What are you gonna do about him anyway? Did you know that Cameron Zhou made him boss or something? They want to take Mark back-”_

_“One more reason for you to drag him to Korea. I have no idea why you fucking told Yi-en who you are. But the truth is, what is done is done. I can’t handle everything from here. So, you fix it! You messed up big time, but I hope you can still find a way to convince him to get on a plane to Korea in a way or another. Of course I have a plan B, but you certainly would be against it. I know how sensitive you can be. My methods can be pretty persuasive, and I will use them if yours don’t work.”_

_“A plan B? What do you even mean by that?”_

_“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Listen, just do as I say and get the hell out of there for now. Check into a hotel and don’t let him out of your sight. I have to go, okay? Call me when you land on Incheon airport. Do not disappoint me, Jin. And remember, we are not the bad guys in this story.”_

**Several Minutes later…**

Mark woke up on the backseat of a moving car. He sat up alarmed when he realized Jinyoung was driving.

“Stop the car, or I’ll make you.” The American stated, as he touched the bruise on his face, looked through the window and tried to identify the street they were on.

“You’re awake.” Jinyoung sounded a bit alarmed, but he kept driving. “I’m sorry for hitting you. I’m not usually like that, I’ve never used my fists against someone. I’m not used to break expensive vases on criminals’ heads either. I don’t condone any kind of violence. You ought to know that. I haven’t been myself. I guess the latest events took a tool on me. I know it’s hard to believe what I’m saying right now, but that’s the truth. If it makes you feel better, you can hit me back when we get to the hotel.”

“Hotel? Fuck the hotel!” Mark huffed. “Where’s Bam and-”

“Don’t worry, both your friend and Yugyeom are going to meet us at the hotel. They are okay. They never saw what happened back in the living room. They left before Daniel showed up. They took off together because they thought you would force them to stop seeing each other. I told them the penthouse was robbed, and that we needed to stay away from there for now. We’ll be staying in a hotel till we leave the country. I texted Yugyeom the address of the hotel, and made arrangements for all of us.” An uneasy Jinyoung explained quickly, but he knew the older wouldn’t listen to him now.

“Jinyoung, do you really think I’m going anywhere with you? How dense can you be?” Mark demanded angrily as he jumped from the back seat of the car into the front seat. The writer kept an eye on the road and another on him. He wondered if the American would dare to escape from a moving car. He knew he should’ve tied him up, but he didn’t want to scare the older, at least not after their brief confront at the penthouse. The Korean was aware that revealing all the truth was a bad move. Nevertheless, Jackson was still counting on him. The writer had to take the American to South Korea. Although he just had no idea of how to do that now. He had to think fast. He told himself that if he was able to write several books with different plots throughout the years, he could elaborate one hundred different reasons to make the American get on a plane with him.

“I’m having a very bad fucking day, Mark. The worst morning of my life so far. You may be used to seeing people get hurt, but I’m not. I’ve never seen a fucking gun in my entire life before I met you. I’ve never had to watch someone get sexually harassed right in front of me till you let Daniel do that shit to you at the bar, and then in my fucking living room. I had to find us a way to escape while you just laid there, immobile, like a fucking zombie! I killed a man today because of you. Can’t you at least be grateful and give me a break?” An agitated Jinyoung retorted. Daniel wasn’t really dead, but he was surely going to use that lie against the American.

“What are you talking about? Daniel is still alive! I told you-”

“Well, after you fainted, I checked for a pulse again and he was gone! You’re a witness to my crime. One I committed in order to save your ass! I can’t just allow you to walk away. I’m famous, Mark! I will not let this shitty day ruin my career. I’d rather kill you than let you go.” Jinyoung obviously made that up. He was desperately trying to resume the mission Jackson had given him. When he left the house carrying an unconscious Mark with him, he could swear he heard Daniel groaning on the couch. And as soon as he did, he abandoned the house immediately, and got into the car. He didn’t look back. After all, Jackson had his back. He shouldn’t worry about Daniel’s unpleasant visit, nor that unfortunate incident that left the man bleeding in his living room. Everything was taken care of. Whomever the Chinese was paying to clean up his mess, would make it look like nothing happened in that place. Jinyoung didn’t know how, but at that point, he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. If he did, it would be too overwhelming for him to take the next step.

“How presumptuous! First of all, you didn’t ‘save’ me from anything. You cannot save what’s already lost. Stop trying to play the hero in this story. Second, don’t be stupid. Daniel can’t be dead, and even if he was, you wouldn’t have to worry about me, because I wouldn’t say anything to the authorities, rest assured. I would gain nothing from tarnishing your reputation. Actually, right now, all I intend to do is forget that I’ve ever met you. Bam and I will disappear from your life. We won’t have to see each other ever again. You can’t possibly keep us captive, and deep down, you know that. As soon as I-”

“What, Mark?! Do you think I’ll give up on my plans after trying to find you for so long?! You’re raving mad if you think you have a say in this. We need to discuss SooYoung, you’re not going anywhere before we do. Seriously, you and I are not over! I’ll break both of your legs if you try to run!” Jinyoung raised his voice, his tone sharp. The American snorted.

“Should I be frightened? Wow, you’re really bad at this, aren’t you? Intimidation is definitely not your forte.” The older sneered. “By the way, if what you say it’s true, what you’re gonna do when the cops show up at the penthouse and find Dan’s supposed corpse?! I mean, if you really left him there, his body will rot, sooner or later. The neighbours will call the police about the smell. You’ll be the first person they’ll look for! You rented the place!” Mark shook his head at him.

“I never said I left your dear Dan there! Even the fucking couch must be gone by now. I know how to cover my tracks. I’m not that dumb. Give me some credit!” Jinyoung said nervously. Mark definitely had a point, but the Korean tried not to think about how well Jackson’s ‘employees’ were going to get rid of all the evidence in that living room. Would they take the drug dealer to the hospital? Would they pay him up to make sure he would keep his mouth shut? The Korean couldn’t guess which methods were used in that kind of situation. The last couple of hours had been so horribly unreal to him, that he regretted ever going to America.

“Look at you! From a bestselling author to a cheap criminal who breaks vases on people’s head, dispose of bodies and bloody couches, and threaten to break people’s legs. Welcome to America! I bet your life in South Korea isn’t this exciting, is it? You’re a fast learner, I give you that. Who knows, maybe you can make a living off crime, since you can’t write anymore. SooYoung would be so proud of you right now!” The older mocked him. The Korean felt like exploding.

“Hear me out, Tuan! If you dare to disappear on me, I swear to God I’ll stop by that decrepit neighborhood in Downtown L.A. and spread the word that you fucking killed the guy who was supposed to run the place now. I’m not versed on the topic of street gangs’ affair, but I’m pretty sure that his comrades would not forgive such a betrayal. Worst case scenario, they would probably knock on the door of your parents’ home in Beverly Hills and kill everyone they’d find inside.” Jinyoung was bluffing. He didn’t even know if the drug dealer had loyal comrades who would avenge his death. In fact, he would never drive by that neighborhood ever again if he could help it. Right now, he just needed time to figure out what to do, because he didn’t think he had any leverage over the older anymore. Actually, he had no control of what he was doing most of the time he was around Mark. The latter eyed him incredulously.

“So, you even know where my family lives. I myself didn’t know they were still there.” Mark coked his head to the side, and raised an eyebrow at him. “Holy shit, I wonder how much time you’ve spent researching stuff about me, studying my life, reading about my achievements and downfalls, analyzing every single experience I went through, reviewing details, learning them by heart, obsessing over them. I must have kept you from getting a good night sleep, I must have kept you from being happy, from being sane, from having peace. I can’t even imagine how many hours you wasted and invested on me. No wonder you can’t even write another novel anymore. You can’t function, can you? Your mind is constantly polluted with thoughts of the man who took SooYoung from you. I’m certainly all you think about, even now. Hating someone is pretty much like being in love, don’t you think? I can only imagine how consuming that must feel like.” Mark’s words made sense, but the Korean wouldn’t admit that to his face.

“We’re here.” A quiet Jinyoung stated, as he parked the car in front of the hotel. He ignored Mark’s quite accurate comment and hoped that he would finally comply. “Wear this to hide the bruise.” Jinyoung said, as he took off his own sunglasses and handed them to Mark. He stared at him for a moment, loathing himself for the ugly bruising forming around the older’s left eye and sighed in frustration. He looked at the state of his own face in the rearview mirror and noticed that the spot on his cheek where Bambam had hit him didn’t look so bad. Even though the mark was still there, it didn’t make him feel less of a jerk for decking Mark.

“Do you really wanna know what happened to her, or you simply came all the way here for revenge?” Mark asked unexpectedly, after he put on the sunglasses. The American looked good on them, but then again, nothing ever looked bad on him. The writer sighed, trying not to think of how Mark could look that gorgeous without even trying. He leanedforward to open the door for the older, but quickly drew back when he realized how close their faces were. Mark swallowed, and gave him an intense look, one Jinyoung wasn’t able to see behind those dark Cartier lenses.

“A bit of both. I guess.” Jinyoung declared at last, as he gave him a miserable look, opened his own door, and stepped out of the car. The American pondered his answer for a second. Then he took a deep breath, and followed the Korean.

“All right, that’s not the answer I expected to hear, but I guess we can reach an agreement. You’re obviously not alone in this plan of yours. Something tells me that you have a lot of back up. You came all the way here for a revenge, and I can’t help but admire a man with a purpose. You’ve got my attention, you see. I’m not sure if what you said about sending Cam’s gang after my family was just an empty threat, and since I can’t confirm it now, I’ll willingly surrender to you. I decide I’ll go along with your plan. Better safe than sorry, right?” Mark said abruptly. His face unreadable. “I don’t know how much worth is your word, but I want you to promise me that no harm will come to Bam, and that you’ll take care of him after you’re done with me.” A serious Mark said at once. Jinyoung was taken aback. SooYoung’s killer was finally his? The American was going to admit his guilt and accept his punishment? What kind of punishment? Jackson had never discussed the second phase of the plan with him. Were they going to make him suffer? Kill him? Torture him? Make him commit suicide? Lock him in a basement without food and water for several days? Should he go along with whatever the Chinese told him to do? Only now, Jinyoung stopped to think what could happen once they arrived in Seoul. The author couldn’t really tell whether the American’s brief speech was a sign of his victory, but he wanted to believe that was the case. Phase 1 had to be successful, and whatever phase 2 was, he thought he could handle it later. Surviving that morning was a proof that. Questioning Jackson’s intentions now would be too late. Jinyoung shook his head as he put both his hands inside his pockets.

“Are you putting him up for adoption or something? He’s not your kid. Besides, I’m not interested. I already have to deal with my cousin and-”

“He’s innocent! He had nothing to do with SooYoung. They never even met! He already suffered enough when he was younger. You must make sure he won’t suffer anymore in the future.” Mark insisted, as he took a strong hold of the writer’s arm, making him face him. “Consider him your real charity work. Give me your word, and I will not stay in the way of your revenge. I won’t run away from my fate, and I’ll leave the country with you when the time comes.”

“You really care about him, don’t you?” Jinyoung was intrigued by his words. He briefly glanced at the hand on his arm, then fixed his gaze upon the other again.

“He only has me. He’s like a brother to me.” Mark said firmly as he let go of the younger.

“You have a little brother, Mark. And two older sisters. They’re a couple of hours from here. You owe Bambam nothing. Why do you even care?” The Korean furrowed his brows as he tried to understand the kind of bond the Thai and the American had.

“I guess I see myself in him. A younger version of me, so to speak. A version that can still be saved.” Mark said as he gave the writer a bitter look. Jinyoung wasn’t really sure of what the other meant with that, yet, he unwillingly nodded. He didn’t know why he agreed to that, but he couldn’t bring himself to miss that opportunity of permanently tying Mark to himself.

“Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll look after him. I promise. You have my word.” Jinyoung stated as he extended a hand to the American. “Do we have a deal then?”

“Deal.” Mark whispered, as he shook hands with the writer. “From now on, I’m all yours.” The way their hands connected, the way the older said those words and suddenly smiled at him, made Jinyoung shiver.

When they entered the hotel and the American realized that Jinyoung had only booked two rooms. Mark questioned the Korean why there were only two rooms if Yugyeom and Bambam would join them soon.

“I’m not letting you out of my sight, Mark. We’ll be rooming together.” Jinyoung stated, as they entered the elevator of the hotel.

“I can share a room with Bam. I told you I’m not running away anymore. I know you don’t trust me, but this is ridiculous.” Mark sighed as he crossed his arms.

“Yugyeom already requested to be in the same room with him.” The writer informed, without taking his eyes off him. He could get used to that, simply gazing at the older could become his new hobby. And now that Mark was _all_ _his_ , the author couldn’t help but somewhat relax around him.

“I’m sure you can afford another room.” Mark insisted, as he felt the weight of the writer’s stare on him.

“Of course I can. But can you?” Jinyoung said sarcastically.

“Fine. Whatever.” Mark whispered defeated.

They met Yugyeom and Bambam a few minutes later at the restaurant of the hotel. Mark pulled Bambam into a hug when he laid eyes on him. The moment the four of them sat at a table, the Thai young man quickly started to explain himself.

“Markie, I’m sorry I left that way. I really didn’t mean to worry you. I was just ashamed of what I did. I promised you that you wouldn’t see me that way ever again, and I felt like crap when I realized what I had done. That was not me. I shouldn’t have hit Jinyoung like that, not after he welcomed us in his place when we had nowhere to go, then gave you a job, and even bought me a lot of stuff. I know that wasn’t cool.” Bambam talked nonstop, trying to justify his actions. He didn’t glance at the two Koreans at the table, he held Mark’s hands in his and only focused on him. His best friend was the only one who mattered at that moment, only his forgiveness was important to him. He took a deep breath and kept talking. “I just know how much you loathe that nickname and when he called you that, I guess I saw red. I was also upset by the conspicuous way you’ve been acting lately, and I assumed something happened between you and him, because I saw him leaving your room last night. I figured you would end up telling me what that was about at some point, but I guess I got a bit jealous this morning when you told me to give you guys some privacy. When I went shopping with him earlier, he kept asking stuff about you and I couldn’t help but think that you guys had slept together or something. Then when you told me to pack, I was convinced the shit was really serious. I thought you wanted to leave because you were afraid of catching feelings or something. Anyways, can you please forgive me?” The Thai young man finished his speech with a sigh as he still held Mark’s hand firmly. The American gave him a soothing smile.

“Bam, it’s okay. You know I can’t be mad at you for too long. Just don’t disappear on me like that again. I even thought you two were kidnapped. Where did you go, by the way?” The older asked curiously. Jinyoung was appalled by what he heard, he pondered the Thai’s words. _Bambam saw me leaving Mark’s room?! He thinks we’re sleeping together, and that Mark is afraid of catching feelings? My goodness, how clueless this poor kid is! His best pal and I are just enemies, and that’s all we’ll ever be. Right?_

“We just went for a walk and talked about stuff.” Yugyeom said quickly, and Bambam nodded. The young Korean’s eyes travelled from his cousin to the American. “So, Jinyoung hyung apologized to you? I mean, we’re here because he texted me and said that everything was okay with you two now.”

An uncomfortable Mark swallowed, as the two youngsters eyed him with uncertainty. Jinyoung cleared his throat, and before the older said anything compromising, he started talking.

“Everything is more than okay. I did apologize to Mark, of course. Honestly, I didn’t know that instead of being an endearment, the term China doll could be considered derogatory. I’m a clueless foreigner after all. I meant no disrespect.” The writer lied through his teeth. “As you must have realized, I do like Mark a lot.” He continued, as he put an arm around the older’s shoulders. If the American was surprised by his gesture, he didn’t show it. Mark made no effort to deny Jinyoung’s ludicrous statement or shy away from his touch. “I do want his best friend’s approval, and if being punched was just part of the test, I don’t mind it at all.”

“Wait! So, I was right then? You guys are really an item now?” A puzzled Bambam frowned. An uneasy Mark started chewing on his bottom lip. His best friend knew he always did that whenever he got nervous. He easily misunderstood the American’s body language, and started to seriously consider that the older could be interested in the author.

“Impossible! Hyung here is pretty conservative! He would never date a non-Korean guy. He’s not that bold.” Yugyeom didn’t look very convinced, but when Jinyoung leaned on the American a bit and gave him a quick peck on his cheek, his eyes widened. Mark flushed and Bambam chuckled. Now he was sure his friend had a thing for the older Korean.

“Oh my God! Seriously, Jinyoung. I’m sorry for punching you. I should’ve known that there was a reason for him to be acting so weird lately. Mark’s shy about this kind of stuff. I noticed the way you two looked at each other last time you stopped by the bar. I told Yugyeom something was up, but he wouldn’t believe me!” The Thai commented excitedly as he slightly elbowed Yugyeom.

“So that’s why you offered him a job, and invited him to come back to Korea with us? I’m impressed! I would’ve never guessed it. I mean, I know you’re not the charitable kind, and I noticed that you have been acting pretty out of character lately, but I would have never imagined that you and Mark hyung were doing it.” Yugyeom furrowed his brows as he stared at his cousin. “By the way, don’t you still have a thing for JB hyung-”

“Aren’t you guys curious to know about the burglary?” Jinyoung cut him off abruptly. He glared at his cousin and took a sip of his wine. Yugyeom gave him a knowing smile.

“Oh, yeah! What’s up with that? I’m glad you’re both okay. Did you guys saw the burglars? Did they take anything?” Bambam asked a bit worriedly. Mark then took off his sunglasses. He knew then that he had a chance to explain his black eye. He would have to mix a bit of fiction and reality, but he knew his friend would buy it. Jinyoung grimaced when the American displayed the bruise. Yugyeom and Bambam gasped when they saw the state of his left eye.

"It wasn’t really a burglary. The truth is, Daniel showed up at the penthouse and gave me this little souvenir.” Mark said, as he pointed to the bruise above his eyebrow. “He tracked my phone. He was the one who left those marks on both my cheeks a few days ago. I didn’t tell you anything because I owed him money and I didn’t want to make you worry. Anyways, when he found me with Jinyoung today, he was pissed because we left the neighborhood without saying anything. He claimed he went to see Cameron, who apparently put him in charge of his business. I made up some crazy story about letting Jinyoung buy me for a week, because you and I had no money anymore. Jinyoung gladly played along, gave Daniel some money and asked him to let me stay one more night. Surprisingly, the idiot agreed when Jinyoung promised him that he would pay ‘the double of my usual price’. The American finished his tale and put the sunglasses back on. His listeners at the table were agape. Including Jinyoung. He suddenly realized that Mark was a hell of a storyteller. He wondered if he wouldn’t be indeed able to help him write his next novel after all. In case he survived phase 2, of course.

“A bad penny always turns up! Jesus Christ, we should buy a gun. We’re gonna shoot that asshole next time he lands a hand on you. So that’s why the bar was blown up to pieces. Because we owed Dan! Damn it, Mark! You’re not supposed to keep stuff from me, you know that!” The Thai sighed heavily, but relented. “Look, it’s a bit too late, but I’m glad you’ve opened up to me now. Thank God Jinyoung was there.” Bambam said in a distressed tone as he gave the older Korean a grateful look and mouthed him a meaningful ‘thanks’. Yugyeom almost choked on his food. Jinyoung remained speechless.

“Yeah, I guess.” The American glanced briefly at the writer and then focused his attention on the young man again. “But listen, we don’t need a gun, because we don’t kill people. You’re gonna scare your new boyfriend over there talking like that.” Mark snorted as he eyed the perplexity on Yugyeom’s expression.

“Guys, I don’t follow. My cousin was able to stay in the same room as a dangerous guy like that? Who’s Daniel? Who’s Cameron? Mark hyung, you also used to provide those kind of services?” A shocked Yugyeom asked.

“It’s a long story, Brownie. We can talk about this later, okay?” Bambam assured him, giving him a gentle pat on his knee. “Eat your food, dear.”

“I love long stories. You wouldn’t mind if I listened to some of it too, would you?” Jinyoung eyed the Thai expectantly.

“In that case, you should hear it from Mark himself.” Bambam grinned and winked at the American. “I’m sure you guys can find some time alone tonight.”

“So Mark, you’re not leaving us anymore, and you do not intend to drag Bammie away from me, am I correct?” Yugyeom sounded eager to hear that confirmation.

“Oh, yeah, don’t worry. I’m not getting between you guys again. I’m not leaving my Jinyoungie’s side either. There’s no place I’d rather be.” Mark declared, with a smile plastered on his face, as he pinched one of the author’s cheeks. The latter tensed for a moment but then immediately relaxed. Actually, he almost patted the older on the back. That was some splendid acting.

“Oh, my God! Did you just call him ‘my Jinyoungie’?” Yugyeom made an exaggerated gesture as if he was about to barf. “Can you guys tone it down a bit? I’m allergic to cringey couples.”

“I think they are a perfect match.” A giggling Bambam stated as he slid an arm around Yugyeom’s waist. “I don’t plan to leave your side either Gyeomie. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to come back to the U.S, after spending some time with you in Korea. Just the thought of saying goodbye-”

“Let’s not think about farewells now. Besides, there’s no rush for you guys to return to America once I finish the book. You both could use a change of scenery. Who knows? My cousin and I might end up convincing you two to stay in Korea forever.” Jinyoung cut him off and grinned. “By the way, tomorrow both you and Mark must apply in person for a passport at a Passport Acceptance Facility. We’re leaving the this country as soon as possible. We don’t wanna run into this Daniel guy again, and I’m sure he won’t follow us all the way to South Korea. You guys will be safe with us in Seoul.” Jinyoung’s suggestion sounded plausible. The youngsters nodded. The older just shot a mysterious look at him.


	10. Damnation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I hate and love. Why I do so, perhaps you ask? I know not, but I feel it, and I am in torment.” ― Catullus

After lunch, they decided to go to their rooms. Bambam and Yugyeom were obviously scandalized when they heard that Jinyoung and Mark were sharing a room. Bambam kept teasing his friend and making faces at him during the whole elevator ride. Mark fought to ignore his friend, but when Bambam pointed to Jinyoung’s ass and gave Mark the thumbs up, the American couldn’t help but chuckle. Yugyeom and his cousin seemed oblivious to the silent communication happening behind them.

When the quartet reached the 7th floor of the hotel, they walked together to their rooms, that happened to be next to each other. The two youngsters were already kissing passionately when they reached their door. Mark and an uncomfortable Jinyoung wished them a quick good night, and entered their own room. The Korean was surprised to see that all their stuff that was at the penthouse was already in the room, including Mark’s bags. He had no idea of how they had gotten in there. He just assumed that it was Jackson’s employees doing. Jinyoung was amazed by the anonymous agility of the people the Chinese hired. He became distracted when a displeased sound was made by his roommate. He observed how the American slowly surveyed the room. It was spacious and comfortable enough for the two of them. The only reason for the other’s uncomfortable groan seemed to be the fact that there was just one bed in it.

“If you were so afraid that I might run away you could’ve at least asked for a room with two beds.” Mark commented, as he glared at the Korean, and leaned against the door, hesitating to take a step further into the room.

“It’s a king size. It can fit us both. Don’t be greedy.” Jinyoung said casually, as he sat on the edge of the bed and started taking off his shoes. He had no intention of sleeping on the same bed with the older. He would sleep on the floor if he had to, but he still wanted to know what Mark thought about sharing a bed with him. Just the idea of being in a room alone with the American was too disturbing after everything that happened that morning, but he couldn’t afford to lose sight of him now. The truth was out, and he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t, at least not around him. The author really didn’t know why Mark had decided to go to Korea with him. He convinced himself that he wasn’t to be trusted. The older could be deceitful, treacherous and unpredictable. The older could even have a plan of his own, but Jinyoung was too tired to make assumptions at the moment. He had no idea how he had survived so much action within a couple of hours. His body and his mind only seemed to realize that now, that his flow of adrenaline decreased, and he felt numb all over. 

“I don’t think that’s appropriate. Not after last night.” Mark said, as he gazed at nowhere in particular.

“Are you scared of me, Mark?” The Korean raised an eyebrow at him, as a faint grin formed on his lips. The older scoffed.

“I don’t know. Should I be? You sneaked into my room at the penthouse yesterday thirsting for more than a lap dance. What happens when you get drunk and horny again? Oh, and let’s not forget that even before that 21 questions episode, you were already having sinful thoughts about me. You heard what Bam said at the restaurant, you were shamefully ogling me while I worked at 777 Ways last time you showed up there.” The American raised his eyebrows at the younger and folded his arms across his chest.

“I thought he meant we were ogling each other. And let’s not forget how you blatantly came on to me in my office even before I opened that whiskey flask.” Jinyoung corrected him in a mocking tone. The American didn’t deny nor confirmed his assumptions, and the Korean was unable to read the eyes behind those dark lenses. He almost asked the older to take the sunglasses off, but he didn’t want to see the bruise he left there again, so he simply kept making small talk with him. “By the way, congratulations. You were pretty good out there with those two. You sounded quite believable when you explained to them about your black eye.”

“Well, congratulations to you too. If you ever abandon your writing career, you can always try acting. I wasn’t expecting the sudden PDA, you know. You even kissed my cheek and put your arm around me in public. Everyone in that restaurant must’ve thought we are a lovely couple.” Mark narrowed his eyes, though the other couldn’t see them. “What the fuck was that?”

“You were the one pinching my cheek and calling me Jinyoungie! Come on, let’s just consider that maybe, both of us have a promising future in Hollywood.” Jinyoung said cynically.

“According to your cousin, you are still in the closet, right? That was quite bold of you.”

“Your country is the so-called land of the free. We’re not in Korea. Things are different back there.” The younger pointed out as he opened one of his suitcases and looked for some change of clothes.

“The truth is, I still don’t get why you had to make Bambam and Yugyeom believe we’re fucking. Sharing a room is not very smart either. They probably think we are making good use of this damn large bed right now.” Mark sighed in frustration.

“Maybe we should.” Jinyoung suggested bitterly. “Afterwards you can tell me which one of the Park siblings can satisfy you better.”

“So, which side you prefer?” Mark ignored his comment and balled his hands into a fist.

“Just go ahead and lay down. Any side of the bed is fine with me, seriously.” The Korean replied without paying much attention to him.

“I’m talking about your face. You claimed I could take a swing at you, remember?” The older took off the sunglasses he was wearing and threw it on the floor.

“Right, go ahead. Aim wherever you please.” A resolute Jinyoung stood up calmly, walked in his direction and stopped in front of him. Mark clicked his tongue and brought a hand to his jaw. The writer froze on the spot when the other gently stroke the side of his face and looked right into his eyes.

“You do look like her, you know? SooYoung. I was a fool for not having noticed it before. How did you find out about me?” The American asked softly, as he observed the younger’s expression harden. He quickly removed his hand from his cheek, and moved to the other side of the room.

“Her suicide note. It was addressed to you.” The author whispered sadly. “So, we’re finally gonna stop ignoring the elephant in the room? You’re ready to tell me what really happened between you two?” Jinyoung looked impatient now.

“She left a note? Well, if she blamed me for what happened to her, nothing I say will change your opinion about me. Does my version of the story even count? It seems to me you have all figured out.” Mark stated acerbically as he walked to the bed and sat on it. He had no intention of hurting the younger, at least not like that.

“I’m a writer. I understand that reality can be ambiguous in certain situations. I always keep in mind that a single event can comprehend many layers. Sometimes, details don’t add up. It’s necessary to read between the lines. Characters can be intricate elements. They have a universe of their own. Point of views, behaviors, motives, and complex singularities. The truth I’ve learnt about you may differ from the truth I hear directly from you.” The author argued, as he fought the urge to shake a reticent Mark by the shoulders and demand some sort of elucidation from him.

“Well, you might be able to come up with a new novel after all. You’ve got a damn twisted plot to work on. With the aid of your unlimited imagination, and obstinacy, I bet this is gonna be your next great bestselling work.” The American said derisively, as he lazily laid on the large bed, fixed his eyes on the ceiling, and chuckled.

“Just tell me, please.” Jinyoung asked in an anguished voice. His eyes were pleading, his tone was not so harsh anymore. The older almost felt sorry for him, but he chose not to.

“Oh, yeah. As a matter of fact, I do have something to say to you, Park Jinyoung. With all due respect to your writing awards, I think you’re a complete joke. You came all the way to America to play hero, to be the main protagonist of this absurd revenge story of yours. You think you’re this righteous knight in shining armor who’s going to make justice for what exactly? A suicide? Getting someone pregnant is not a crime, right? No one told her to slip a fucking noose around her neck. Understand this once and for all, nobody killed your sister, she chose death instead of living! Obviously, you’re looking for someone to blame because you’re trying to feel better about yourself. You are fucked up, and honestly, I don’t have to tell you shit. You already condemned me for something SooYoung decided to do herself, there’s no use arguing with you. The words of the dead will always mean more than the ones of the living.” Mark knew that Jinyoung would probably punch him to death this time. He didn’t move from his position, he remained on the bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting. He wondered if the younger would have the guts to go all the way and choke the life out of him. He waited a bit more for his blind rage translated in verbal offenses and physical aggression. However, the curses and other predictable violence never came.

"Please.” Jinyoung whispered miserably, as he slowly sat on the edge of the bed. Mark denied him the very information that could bring him either instant peace or eternal damnation.

“No.” The American replied mercilessly. The Korean kept repeating the same request, until his begging shifted to Korean. The foreign sound drew the older’s attention to him, but there was something else to it. The unspeakable despair that filled each murmuring coming out of him, was now accompanied by tears. Mark lifted his head a bit when he heard the younger sniffle. His heart felt heavy in his chest. He could ignore an arrogant Jinyoung, but the weeping one was another story. “What are you doing?! Stop crying already!” he demanded, unable to bear that scene.

“I-I can’t. I miss her.” The younger confessed as he sobbed and brought both of his hands to cover his face. That was it, Mark couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed the Korean to the bed and climbed on top of him. Jinyoung was obviously caught out of guard, too vulnerable, too sensitive now.

“Maybe I can help you forget her.” The American suggested, as he leaned on him and licked the salty river escaping from the writer’s eyes. That proximity immediately set the younger’s body on fire.

“Don’t.” It was all the Korean managed to say, though he was incapable of genuinely deny that kind of contact now. The older’s warmth had already dried his tears, and stolen his full attention.

“Keep still, and I might answer at least one of your questions later.” Mark’s unusually tender voice held a promise. Jinyoung nodded weakly, and although he didn’t know for sure what the older had in mind, he didn’t push him away. The American caressed his face with his own, rubbed his cheek against his and nuzzled his neck. Jinyoung heard him release a pleasant moan before his eyes met his again. “You smell pure, so pure.” Mark ran a hand through his silky dark hair and sighed. “Let’s see how pure you are underneath these clothes, shall we?” He smiled sweetly when he saw the Korean’s eyes grow large.

“Mark.” A startled Jinyoung uttered the cursed name like a forbidden melody, but he still didn’t fight the delicate hands that unbuttoned his shirt. Mark’s eyes never left his while he removed his own and grinded his hips against him. The author knew he couldn’t contain his arousal, he was already half hard when the American started sniffing him. Jinyoung fought the urge to touch him all over, pull his chest to him, suck on those nipples, kiss and taste every inch of that impeccable milky skin presented to him. He struggled to restrain himself. He thought that if he wasn’t the one doing the touch and the nibbling, he could get away with it. He thought that since he wasn’t the one on top, he shouldn’t be blamed for the outcome of that lustful encounter. He thought that if he just laid there immobile, he could play the victim, and let the older be the bad guy. Deep down, he knew the sex would have happened eventually. It was dodged, delayed, but fated. They both yearned for it. He thought that Mark had finally succeeded in seducing him, and that maybe, he was just like his sister after all. Hopeless and helpless when it came to Mark Tuan.

The American had already pulled Jinyoung’s pants and boxers down. He was nested between his legs, teasing the Korean with his teeth, tongue and lips. The younger shivered, as Mark slowly kissed up and down his shaft while looking into his eyes. “Are you a top, or a bottom, Jinyoungie?” The older asked, as he gazed at him. Jinyoung swallowed, as he felt him stroke and caress his balls. The author didn’t dare to answer him, he just closed his eyes and let the question linger in the air. Therefore, Mark smirked and focused on his ministrations. Jinyoung gasped when the older took his cock in his mouth. The American lifted his tongue a bit so that the head of the younger’s cock rubbed against the back of his tongue while he bobbed his head. Jinyoung couldn’t hold back his moans as he watched those softly lips wrapped around his erection, sucking the life out of him nonstop. And every time his lenght went in and out of Mark’s mouth he felt like feeding him his semen. But having an orgasm, discharging the proof of his lust for the other would incriminate him, would make him far from being innocent during all that act. It would mean that he enjoyed it, that he willingly accepted to be devoured by that disgusting monster that drove his sister to the gates of hell. Suddenly, he felt that warm cave abandon him. “I take it you’re the passive kind.” Mark distracted him from his thoughts again, as he licked a finger and delicately pushed it against his anus. Jinyoung felt that it was time to tell him no, that he’d rather give than take it. But he said nothing. Mark continued pushing the finger further, in a more invasive way, wantonly. He kept stroking the author’s cock, trying to get him to relax, and before the younger could get used to the feeling of being finger-fucked by the older, more spit and a second finger entered him. The scissoring movements made him tense. The American told him to relax, as he spread kisses all round his firm thighs and spread the Korean’s legs more apart. He removed the fingers out of the younger’s hole, pulled his own pants down to reveal his hard thick dick, and coat it with his saliva. Jinyoung hungrily watched him, marvelling at the beautiful beast before him. He was already making up erotic poems inside his head when he felt Mark’s grip on his hip tighten and his length push against his entrance. He didn’t coil from it, he just fixed his eyes on the ceiling. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” The sultry sound of Mark’s words enticed him. The older wanted an answer, but all Jinyoung did was wrap his legs around his waist as an invitation. The American accepted it. He penetrate him then. Slow and intense. Just like the kind of death the other wanted. Jinyoung groaned in pain as Mark’s hard penis impaled him, over and over again, puncturing his pride, forcing him to subdue, knifing his own purposes, slaying his reason, filling him with pleasure, violating his principals, infiltrating his very soul. It didn’t take long for Mark to find his prostrate, and the more he brushed against it, the author writhed underneath him, completely overwhelmed by the feeling of being taken and poisoned like that for the first time. Jinyoung had never bottomed for anyone, and he had just given permission to that filthy fiend to defile him. A panting Mark was stroking his hard on again, without ceasing the pummelling inside his anus. The Korean groaned loudly, and pulled Mark’s face to him abruptly. He searched for those venomous lips and attacked them. They kissed, as sweat mixed with their saliva and haggard breaths. Their rhythm increased, the searing pain the Korean felt initially gave room to an animalistic kind of desire, a chase for gratification, an urge for fulfilment. The American held him in that diabolical rapture, driving him to the limit of his delectation. Mark pulled one of Jinyoung’s legs above his shoulder, lifted the other’s hips a bit more and fucked him deeper, harder, rougher, and faster. They came while kissing. Both of them, still locked in each other’s trebling arms. Endeavouring to decipher the delight of their own beating hearts. Mark eagerly spilled his warm seed inside Jinyoung and remained still, sheathed within him. His chest was already covered by the younger’s cum and he didn’t feel like wiping it off, like it happened several times before when he had other partners. Jinyoung’s essence didn’t feel dirty on him. On the contrary, Mark felt purified by it. That sensation was unique. Not even Cameron had made him feel like that before.

“Can you get off?” The ring of Jinyoung’s voice cut the silence. Mark refused to move for a second, but complied. Now that the afterglow was fading away, they both seemed to realize what had happened, and what that could mean.

“I’m sorry.” The American said guiltily, as he laid on his back beside the younger and chewed on his bottom lip. The younger stared at the ceiling blankly, and Mark knew Jinyoung would regret crossing that line between them. He even thought that the author was about to blame him for it. After all, the Korean wasn’t supposed to have sex with the man he hated with all his might.

“I should be thanking you, really. You were born for this job. You can actually perform reasonably well. I must remember to tell that to Daniel next time I see that fucker. I would’ve paid the double of your price if I had to, you know, just to have you servicing my dick every single day like you just did. Like a pro. You’re the most formidable cocksucker I’ve met in my entire life. I indeed hired the best fucking slut in Hollywood. How much do I owe you, China Doll? How much is worth that pretty mouth of yours?” Jinyoung said, as angry tears escaped from the corner of his eyes. Mark stayed silent when Jinyoung managed to stand up and tower over him. That look of indifference stared back at the author. Mark sat up on the bed, as if those words meant nothing to him, as if Jinyoung was unable to reach his heart. The author felt like murdering him.

“Go take a shower, you’re a bleeding mess.” Mark pointed out coldly, as he eyed the crimson liquid mixed with semen escaped from between the Korean’s legs, staining his thighs. Jinyoung glanced at it in shame and looked away. He never felt so humiliated in his life. He wobbled as he walked to the bathroom, but before he reached the door handle, the American added. “Now I know which one of the Park’s siblings is better in bed. In case you’re wondering, she’s the one who got full marks. In my opinion, you can’t hold a candle to SooYoung. Work harder next time, Nyoungie.” The older declared emotionlessly.

“You’re a dead man, Mark.” The author vowed, as he balled his fists, full of despite.

“Finally we agree on something.” The American commented, as he laughed maniacally loud and rolled around the bed, clutching his belly. As soon as the younger locked himself inside the bathroom, Mark’s laughs immediately ceased. He wiped the vestiges of Jinyoung’s cum that still lingered on his skin, got dressed, grabbed Jinyoung’s wallet that was on the nightstand, and quietly walked out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a double update yorubun. If you got here first and got confused, go back to the previous chapter.


	11. Hemorrhage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My heart is at odds with itself. Who I was and who I'm becoming are in too great a conflict to do anything but destroy each other.”  
> ― Tammy L. Gray

“What do you mean they’re out?!” Jinyoung demanded harshly, as his cousin almost cowered from him. He had never seen the writer so upset. Seconds ago, the author had almost knocked down Yugyeom’s door, as he searched for Mark. To his dismal, he had just found out that Bambam was also gone.

“I told you they went to apply for their passports. It won’t take long, hyung.” The younger reassured him, trying to understand why the other looked so infuriated. One minute, his cousin was sitting at a chair next to the window, tapping his foot uncontrollably, the next he stood up and started biting his fingers. “Jesus, just chill, man. What has gotten into you?”

“How dense are you, Yugyeom? Do you really think they’re coming back!? They left us for good, don’t you see? Mark wanted to run off with Bambam before, nothing is gonna stop them now!” Jinyoung’s voice trembled with outrage as he paced around the room like a mad man. How could the older fuck and leave him? How dare the American think that he could be used like that?

“Hyung, you’re gonna burst a vein or something. Take it easy, seriously. There’s no reason for you to get so agitated. Mark already decided to go to Korea with us, and he had no reason to lie to us about it. You guys fixed whatever the hell was going on between you two, right? He even said you told him you loved him. Is that why you’re freaking out like this? You think he’s not ready for a serious commitment? It’s your first time being in love and you actually don’t know what to do about your own feelings?” An oblivious Yugyeom asked innocently, as his fuming cousin shot him a look of disbelief.

“He said what?! I never said that to him! I don’t love him! When did he say such lunacy to you?” Jinyoung bellowed. As he punched the wall next to the windowr. As soon as his fist collided with the surface, he cried in pain, immediately regretting that stupid action. Yugyeom shook his head at him, still clueless.

“Before he left with Bam. It’s okay, hyung, you don’t have to feel embarrassed about it. Actually, he said you would react this way if I mentioned it. He warned me to keep my mouth shut, and I can see now why I should’ve listened to him. My bad.” Yugyeom declared as he eyed his cousin with sympathy.

Jinyoung was beyond himself with anger. He wondered how many lies the American had spread about him. He could barely hear the youngster’s attempt to cheer him up now. His backside was still sore and his physical pain had already blended with his mental suffering. He abhorred the way he felt delighted to have Mark inside him a couple of hours ago. Now he realized that it was silly of him to think that letting the older top him would make him feel blameless. How wrong he was!

The Korean was mortified for allowing himself to be played like that. He might have called Mark a cocksucker, but he was the one feeling like a cheap, dumb whore at the moment. After the older got what he wanted from him, he was the one who was disposed of, like a pitiful laughingstock. The author tortured himself thinking of how SooYoung would be rolling over in her grave if she saw how low her kid brother had sunk. Yet, he also wondered if she had ever witnessed the fascinating explosion of emotions flowing out of Mark the same way he did when the older came inside him. The American didn’t restrain himself during sex. He wasn’t cold, nor distant or indifferent like he looked most of the time. Mark’s eyes were there full of passion, his body was warm, his lips were responsive, his touches were hungry and his movements painfully active. Just the thought of it, made the writer feel warmer inside.

He was curious to know if the older really meant what he said regarding his sister. Was she able to pleasure the American that well? Jinyoung felt unreasonably jealous of SooYoung then. She was better than him in bed, according to the older. Should he have put more effort into the act? Would he ever have a chance to ‘work harder’ like Mark advised him to? He seemed to be already looking forward to the next time. He caught himself entertaining such insane thoughts, and he felt filthier, and more dejected than before. Yugyeom, on the other hand, kept talking nonstop.

“I guess it’s about time you come out to your parents anyway. Maybe falling for Mark is a good thing. He’s worth it, right? But you can’t be this possessive and insecure all the time. He’ll come back soon and you both can-”

“So, you really think they went to apply for their passports? On a fucking Saturday afternoon? Don’t you think this is weird? Think about it, why would a damn Passport Acceptance facility be open today?” The writer scoffed, as he sat on the chair next to the window again and massaged his temples in consternation. He was appalled by his cousin’s naivety. _In love? How could I ever be in love with that demon? Why would Mark even say that to my cousin? Is he playing games with me? Where could he be now?_ The writer struggled to accept that the American slipped through his fingers so easily. He knew he would have to call Jackson soon. He was aware that the Chinese would probably scold him again. He was sure his mission would be cancelled, and that Jackson would put his plan B in action. He would use his own methods, just like he said he would. Jinyoung felt extremely disappointed in himself. He felt like his own stupidity thwarted this revenge plan. _I’m the one who let his guard down, I was the one who got fucked in the ass, and who locked himself in the bathroom for almost two hours just to avoid looking Mark in the eye after panting and bleeding like a bitch under him. How the tables have turned!_ The writer felt like he had fallen into his foe’s trap. He let his prisoner escape. His weakness became Mark’s ally. He allowed himself to be seduced, he was the one who spread his legs and admitted defeat. He was his own worst enemy.

“Okay, maybe they went somewhere else! No big deal! What’s wrong with you guys anyway? I mean, every time one of you go out with Bambam the drama starts. You took my boyfriend to the mall this morning and Mark almost had a breakdown, now he goes out with his best friend and you are the one losing your shit. Will you please explain to me why that is?” Yugyeom shrugged and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Boyfriend? Since when you and Kunpimook are boyfriends?! What’s next? You guys are going to get married and have kids?” Jinyoung gave him a ludicrous look and added, “He was a prostitute, kid! You are not supposed to get that attached to them. Sooner or later they’ll leave you for the highest bidder. As a matter of fact, your lovely harlot has just abandoned you, but you’re too stubborn to realize it!” The author didn’t mean to be so ruthless, but the words were already out and he couldn’t take them back anymore. He saw Yugyeom’s face drastically change.

“I respect you a lot, hyung. I truly do. You’ve been there for me when I most needed a big brother. You gave me a lot of support when my parents were unable to deal with my coming out. I know you’ve been through a lot since SooYoung noona left us. The whole family mourned her passing. But I’m aware that you felt her loss like no one else, because you were the one who told her to chase her academic dreams, even if they were far away from home. You may still blame yourself, but you shouldn’t. Because this guilt is consuming you. It’s turning you into someone else, and erasing the Jinyoung hyung that I so admire.” Yugyeom folded his arms across his chest, pursed his lips, towered over his chair and eyed him seriously. “By the way, do not talk about Bam like that ever again. If you do, we’re not family anymore.”

Jinyoung’s eyes watered. It was sad but true. He wanted so much to punish the monster he was chasing that he was becoming a monster himself. His cousin’s words hit home, and all the wrath boiling inside him threatened to give in, to let go, and simply disappear in tears.

“I also wish to go back to being the Jinyoung hyung that you used to admire. I kinda miss that guy too.” He murmured, as he looked out the window and let out a distressed sigh. Yugyeom put a consoling hand on his shoulder and tried to understand what the older was going through.

“Hey, you are still that guy.” Yugyeom assured him in a softer tone, as he watched a tear escape from the corner of the writer’s eye. “Listen, you know you can count on me, right? I know I’m younger than you, and you probably don’t see me as a reliable person, but I am more mature than you think. You can tell me anything, I’m a good listener. Whatever is doing this to you is not good. You’ve got to let me help. This is not just about noona, the hiatus, the writer’s block, or the fact that Mark hyung went out, right? Perhaps, did he tell you about his story with Cameron Zhou?” Yugyeom asked carefully. He was not going to say anything unnecessarily. Bambam indeed told the story of his life to him, and while he was at it, he also included facts about his best friend’s troubled journey. Yugyeom swore to keep what he heard to himself, and he promised Bambam that even if Jinyoung asked questions, he would’ve to get the answers he wanted from Mark.

“What about Cameron? I only know he used to sell drugs for him, but I’m sure that there’s more to it.” Jinyoung swiftly lifted his gaze to him. Yugyeom scratched the back of his neck, and made an uncomfortable sound.

“If you don’t know, I won’t be the one to tell you about this.”

“You tell me about Zhou, and I will tell you why we travelled all they way to the U.S just to meet Mark Tuan.” The author said firmly. Yugyeom frowned.

“What the hell are you talking about? We are here for Mark hyung?” The youngster asked puzzled, and at that point, Jinyoung would not deny him the truth. However, even before the author opened his mouth one more time, the door opened, revealing the Thai and the American arm in arm, with lots of bags in their hands.

“Hey there, guys! Are we interrupting something?” Bambam said excitedly as always, while he walked into the room with his best friend. A smiling Yugyeom was immediately by his side, helping him with the bags.

“You’re back.” Jinyoung whispered as he eyed Mark in bewilderment.

“Of course I am, Nyoungie.” The American winked at him and approached his chair. His acting impeccable. Neither Bambam nor Yugyeom would ever guess that they weren’t an item. “By the way, thanks for letting us use your cards. Sweet Gyeomie had already given Bam some money to buy clothes for our trip, but we indeed needed more dough to pay for these.” Mark stated, as he put Jinyoung’s wallet on the owner’s lap and waved two brand new passports in front of him. The author took the passports from the older’s hand and examined them, astonished.

“I told you, right? Have more faith in people, Jinyoung hyung. Now that they have their passports, we can book our flights to Korea.” Yugyeom turned to his cousin and gave him a patronizing look.

“How come? Where did you get these?” The writer asked, still unconvinced. He didn’t know if he was more perplexed by Mark and Bambam’s presence or by the passports in his hands.

“We know some special places we can go to make this kind of magic happen. I mean, they are fake, obviously, but they look 100% legit, right?” Bambam commented, amused by Jinyoung’s perplexity.

“Wow, Bammie. That’s so illegally cool. I can’t wait to introduce you to my parents.” Yugyeom smirked, as he back hugged his new boyfriend. Mark chuckled and rolled his eyes, while the author looked scandalized.

“You guys plan to use this at the airport? This is dangerous! What about the authorities? What if you guys are caught-”

“Stop worrying too much, Jinyoungie. It’s going to be fine. Let’s just go to our room and let the lovebirds have their privacy.” The American cut him off, as he observed Yugyeom push the Thai on the bed and start kissing him.

“Right. We actually need some privacy too.” Jinyoung said, playing along. He stood up from his chair, with his wallet in one hand and the passports in the other. He glared at the older and walked out of the room. The American silently followed him after he took a small pharmacy bag out of one of the others that Bambam was carrying. As soon as they entered their own hotel room, Jinyoung pushed Mark’s back against the wall. The older didn’t fight him, nor protested. The Korean stared into his passive cinnamon eyes for a long second, searching for that maelstrom of emotions he beheld earlier in bed. There was no trace of it in them.

“What? Are you gonna hit me again?” Mark asked without much interest. He just let the writer held him there where he wanted him.

“Why didn’t you say anything before you left?” The younger demanded, tugging at the American’s shirt.

“Are you my husband or something? I don’t have to tell you shit, Nyoungie.” Mark replied dryly. The nickname he used for the Korean sounded like an insult. “Sorry for taking your wallet without permission though.”

Jinyoung wasn’t mad about the wallet, he was just mad because the American had left him, and because even now, he instilled too many unwanted feelings in him. He was going out of his mind because deep down, he was glad the older was back.

“Why did you come back?!”Jinyoung demanded. He knew that it would be easier for both of them if they stayed apart from each other. Nevertheless, he was pleased to see that Mark kept his word.

“I honor my agreements. Bam and I are coming to South Korea with you.” The older replied.

“No, you’re not! How about that? You haven’t even told me about your relationship with SooYoung yet, and-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I almost forgot I promised to answer one question of yours.” Mark cut him off quickly, just like a parent would interrupt his own son whenever he predicted that the child was about to throw a tantrum. “Remember, it’s one question only. Go ahead, it’s your chance.”

“You’d better be sincere with me this time.” Jinyoung warned, while shooting daggers at the older. He finally let go of Mark and gave him some space. “How did you guys meet?”

“That’s an easy one.” Mark seemed to choose his words before he spoke, but soon he started sputtering all the things Jinyoung wasn’t ready to hear. “There was a party on campus. She looked depressed when she approached me and asked me if I had something to take the edge off-”

“Stop!” The Korean barked. “My sister was not depressed and she wasn’t a junkie.”

“I am trying to answer your question here, man. Yes, she was not in her right state of mind…” Mark paused, wondering if he should continue, and he did. “And yes, I sold her some molly. Then she ended up having a bad trip, and I took her to my dorm room.” He knew the younger would think the worst of him. He expected to receive another punch, or maybe a kick. However, he was taken aback when the Korean let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Just stop talking, I don’t wanna hear it. If you’re going to lie about it, just shut the fuck up! This is ludicrous! My sister would never take drugs! She came to America to study! And you! You are the worst liar in the world!” Jinyoung accused, unable to accept Mark’s version of the story.

“All right, suit yourself. I won’t say anything anymore. Just take this.” The American said calmly and handed the small pharmacy paper bag he was holding to Jinyoung. The author frowned at it, but yanked it from the older’s hand in order to examine it.

“Why would I need this?” The younger narrowed his eyes at him.

“It helps healing and eases the pain.” Mark commented awkwardly, pointing to the medicine the other had just taken out of the bag.

“Nifedipine? What the hell is this for?!” The Korean snapped at him.

“Anal fissures. I thought you might need it. Put this cream on your butthole three times a day and you’ll be fine. If the bleeding persists, you might have to see a doctor.” Mark instructed while avoiding his eyes.

“Are you a specialist or something?! No one asked you to buy this shit. I don’t need it!” The embarrassed Korean spat, as he put the medicine back in the bag and threw it on the floor. Mark sighed.

“Did it happen before? I mean, your skin often tears when you bottom? Look, some people may think it’s just a painful consequence of having anal sex, but they shouldn’t. Intercourse is supposed to be nice, not hurtful. The experience of seeing blood coming out of you after being penetrated can be emotionally traumatic.” Mark said in a low tone as he watched Jinyoung’s eyes grow large.

“Oh! How considerate of you! That’s why you laughed at me, right? To make things even more traumatic then, you bastard? Fuck you!” The author retorted and turned away from him.

“Listen, I was wrong for laughing at you. But you didn’t give me much of a choice then. I didn’t mean to hurt you either. We didn’t have any lube, and you didn’t seem to care, and I wanted you so bad!” Mark tried to explain himself, his eyes were a bit more expressive now that the younger wasn’t staring at him. Jinyoung dismissed his excuses, but the fact that Mark had just admitted that he wanted him ‘so bad’ lessened his anger a bit. Yet, he wouldn’t let it show. The author wanted to turn around and face the American again, just to see if there was any vestige of remorse in his features when he said those words. However, shame only allowed him to face the wall of the room.

“Well, I didn’t want you!” The Korean lied, hiding his humiliation as much as he could. Mark scoffed.

“You didn’t tell me to stop. And you called me a formidable cocksucker when it was over. It seemed to me that you enjoyed it as much as I did.” The American argued, in a defying tone.

“In your dreams! If you think I’m just like the other fucks you had-”

“Well, since I answered your damn question, I’m gonna go get some air outside.” The American cut him off again and turned around to leave, but before he could open the door, the other’s hurried tone stopped him.

“Where do you think you are going?! We are having a conversation here. What about SooYoung?” Jinyoung yelled, before the American could walk out on him.

“Look, I think we need some time out. You’re clearly not ready to deal with the truth.” Mark faced him again and inhaled. He saw the hurt in the younger’s eyes, and he knew he couldn’t make things better for him. That conversation was useless, and it wouldn’t bring his sister back.

“As if you were capable of telling the truth! But you now what? I’ve changed my mind. Don’t stop on my account. Just finish this farcical story of yours!” Jinyoung threw his arms in the air, losing his composure completely.

“First you tell me to shut up, now you want me to continue. You’re obviously confused. By the way, I never said I would tell you the whole story. I told you I would answer one of your questions, and I already did.” Mark retorted, starting to get annoyed.

“Stop being such a bitch! I’m not letting you go before you tell me everything.” The younger pressed as he took a few steps towards him.

“Well, you can let me fuck you again, and I might give you some details about how SooYoung can satisfy a man in bed. Who knows, you might even learn something.” Mark suggested mercilessly, and took a step back, towards the bed.

“You sordid motherfucker, it’s my sister you’re talking about! Have some respect for the dead! I should send your ass to jail!” Jinyoung gave him such a strong push that the older lost his balance and ended up falling on the bed.

“Jail? No one abused your sister and no one abused you either. I can assure you of that.” Mark defended himself, throwing a pillow at the author as he quickly sat up on the bed. Jinyoung easily dodged the object, climbed on top of him and pinned the older down.

“You drugged her, and had sex with her without her consent!” Jinyoung shouted at his face, holding both his wrists above his head.

“Where do you get these ideas? This is not one of your novels, Mr. Park! You create all these terrible scenarios in your head and you put me in the center of it, like a filthy villain. Do you think I’m a rapist or something? Correct me if I’m wrong, but you are the creep who crawls into sleeping people’s bed in the middle of the night, right? Perhaps there’s indeed a pervert in this room, but it’s not me.” Mark retorted boldly, as he tried to free himself from the younger’s grip.

“Oh, really? Guess what! There’s a hooker in this room and it’s not me, China doll.” The author shot back, tightening the grip on the older’s wrists.

“You may call me that all you want, but you were the one trying to act like an inanimate being earlier.” Mark shot back, gritting his teeth. He was unable to free himself from the other. Jinyoung’s strength was clearly superior to his.

“Is that so? I guess we are a perfect match then! At least, when you’re not making my ass bleed!” Jinyoung said sarcastically as he leaned dangerously close to the older. Mark’s breath caught in his throat, and when it flew free, he only tried to explain himself again.

“Look, when we were having sex, despite your initial frigidity, you seemed to be enjoying what I was doing to you. I honestly didn’t mean to make you bleed. You were supposed to tell me if I was being too rough-”

“You’re always rough, Mark! Your very existence is mercilessly rough on me. You constantly make me bleed in all possible ways! Every time I’m around you I’m hemorrhaging inside. You’re a fucking bloodsucker, and you’re bleeding me dry.” Jinyoung cut him off abruptly as a pained expression took over his face. His confession gushed out of his mouth like a sour venom he couldn’t keep it in for too long. It bled out of him, profusely.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” The American lowered his gaze and stopped struggling. The author’s eyes infallibly traveled to his deathly lips. Unconsciously, he released Mark’s wrists, just to run a finger over them. He couldn’t help but worship them. He felt like he was slowly being pulled into a bottomless abyss, and nothing could keep him from falling, falling hard and apart. The American immediately locked eyes with him again. He looked surprised by the younger’s gesture, but he didn’t stop him when the author leaned over him a bit more, parted his lips with his thumb and slightly brushed his own lips against his. The feeling of Jinyoung’s breath on his face sent shivers down Mark’s spine. The contact was brief, but poweful.

“No, you’re not sorry, and I can’t keep going on like this. I’m leaving Korea with my cousin as soon as possible, and that’s it. You and Bam are not coming. I don’t need the hassle.” A defeated Jinyoung announced tiredly, as he climbed off him at once and stood up. If he stayed that close to the older for one more second, he would probably never be able to let go, so he forced himself to take some distance from him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe around that man. That unapproachable proximity suffocated him. Being that agonizingly close to that fiend and having to remind himself that he shouldn’t like that closeness, was pure hell. Avoiding those wicked lips had become an unbearable task.

“But we made a deal! You said you would look after Bam. What about Yugyeom? You’re gonna break them apart?” Mark protested, leaving the bed and walking in his direction. The Korean wasn’t thinking straight when he suddenly made that decision, just like he wasn’t thinking straight when he put that revenge plan in motion.

“No trip, no charity work. Our agreement is automatically nullified.” Jinyoung stated firmly, hoping to get away from the American. Hoping to save himself. He sighed in frustration as he noticed how close the older was standing before him again.

“You’re a coward, a loser. You can’t help yourself, can you?” Mark accused and gave the author a knowing smile. “We both know what’s going on here. And what if you’re bleeding out, huh? Why turn away from the pain? It’s a sign that you’re alive, right? Aren’t unique experiences that spice up an author’s creativity? Why not take me with you? Oh, I know why. You’re just afraid you might end up inside a coffin, just like SooYoung did. So yeah, go ahead and run away. We both know you were never the hero of this story anyways. You are just a second class character.” Mark spat, cornering the younger with the fire emanating from his doe eyes.

“What about you? Are you the villain as I predicted? Because if you are, Mark, we can end this story right here, and right now!” Jinyoung exclaimed, as he walked past the older, opened one of his suitcases, and took a familiar object out of it. It was Daniel’s gun. The American quickly recognized it when the Korean aimed it at him.

“If you are the protagonist of this story, you should be able to tell who I am. This could make your revenge complete, or change you completely. Just be sure I’m really your nemesis before you shoot.” The American warned him quickly. He made no effort to take the gun from the younger. On the other hand, Jinyoung’s nervousness doubled as he held the gun tightly in his hand and prematurely decided what to do.

“I am.” The tormented author replied and pulled the trigger.


	12. China Doll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Souls and memories can do strange things during trance." - Bram Stoker

A click was heard, but nothing came out of the gun. Mark didn’t blink. Jinyoung just stared at him in shock.

"It's not loaded. Tough luck." The American stated stoically. The fact that Jinyoung would have shot him in case the gun was loaded didn't seem to faze him. "Why did you bring Dan's gun with you? Trying to gather enough courage to kill me?"

"I-I didn't." Jinyoung was appalled at what he had just done. He couldn't believe he had it in him. The courage to murder someone was never a subject he pondered about. His characters often did, his characters could even do it, but not him. The fact that he actually had the guts to pull that trigger frightened him to no end. Did he really wish Mark dead? What would have happened if he had succeeded? Would he finally find peace again, or would he rot in a hellish dungeon of remorse that his own conscience would imprison him in? After all, above all, that man in front of him was still a human being, even though he had a monster inside him. If he had taken Mark's life would he become an antihero in his own plot? And who was more like a monster now? Had he lowered himself to Mark's level? Was the Park Jinyoung his cousin mentioned really gone? Was there a way for him to go back to what he used to be at that point? He wondered why that gun was in that hotel room. He had found it inside his suitcase when he was looking for some clothes to wear earlier. He knew then that whoever brought his baggage to the hotel had also put that gun there. Did Jackson's employees think that it belonged to him? Was it already unloaded when Daniel showed up at the penthouse? He had no idea. Several questions lingered in the air and the Korean didn’t think he would found the answers to them any soon.

"Well, I should start packing. And you should go and explain to your cousin why Bambam and I are leaving." Mark announced in a disturbing calmness, as he opened his own bag and started looking for something.

"I'm not telling Yugyeom anything." Jinyoung informed him as he dropped the gun on the floor.

"Well, then I will. I wonder how shocked the poor kid will be when he hears about his cousin's adventures in America. Oh, I can picture his face when he finds out you thought about getting inside his boyfriend's pants. Will he be more horrified by the fact that you blew up our fucking bar, the fact that somehow you got us kicked out of our neighborhood, or the fact that you pulled a gun at me?" The older asked in a challenging tone.

"What?! You know I've never meant what I said about Bambam! And why the hell do you think I would find some hoodlum to spray graffiti in your damn apartment? I had nothing to do with what happened to 777 Ways! Do I look like an arsonist to you?" The younger eyed him in disbelief.

"You damn well look like a murderer to me right now!" The American exclaimed, still rummaging through his bag.

"I didn't kill you, did I?" The younger muttered in shame.

"Because there were no bullets in the fucking gun!" Mark scoffed. "You're a fucking hypocrite, you know that? I didn't kill your sister and you still insist on condemning me for it. Now you pull a fucking trigger and refuse to admit that you could have just turned into a criminal even worse than me."

"Just go, Mark." A confused Jinyoung said, as he still tried to understand what had just happened. Was he homicidal? Was that attempted murder?

"All right. I'm gonna fetch Bambam and tell Yugyeom what he needs to know." Mark said simply and eyed the door.

"Are you actually trying to blackmail me? Why is it that I have the impression you're not happy about the fact that I've just called off my revenge plan? Do you really wanna go to Korea that much?" Jinyoung eyed him in confusion.

"This is not just your revenge plan. You may think it is, but you're just part of it. This is not just about your sister, it can't be. I wanna know the person who sent you after me. Do you think I'm a moron? You fail your mission, then someone else is sent here to take your place and do the deed. That's how it works. You’re not the only enemy I have. I did some pretty bad shit when I was younger. It’s about time karma catches up with me. And I don’t wanna think that my best friend might get hurt just because he is close to me. So, I’d rather deal with you than with someone else. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't." Mark replied sharply. The author was undoubtedly impressed. Mark’s logical was accurate. Only now, Jinyoung realized that although he was a college dropout, the older was indeed very perspicacious. It was silly and prejudicial of him to think that the lack of a higher education could make someone dumb. Jackson had in fact mentioned a persuasive plan B, and the Korean didn't know what, or who was that plan B. Mark was right to fear what could happen to him or Bambam in case the author left the U.S without them. His gut told him that whoever or whatever was plan B, it would come for Mark and it would get the job done.

Before the author could formulate an answer to the American's suspicions, his phone rang. When he picked it up from the nightstand, and saw the word brother-in-law displayed on his screen, he grimaced. His heart instantly accelerated. Jackson had never called him since he arrived in America. He was the one who kept phoning the Chinese to tell him how many times he managed to fuck up their plan. What that phone call could mean? The American stared at his troubled expression, and waited for him to accept the call. Jinyoung swallowed, took a deep breath, and answered it. Korean was his choice of language this time, obviously. Mark would never guess what was being discussed between them.

_"What is it? Do we have a problem?"_ Jinyoung demanded, not in the mood for chitchat.

_"You tell me. Did you use the gun?"_ Jackson's raspy voice was deeper than usual.

_"It has no bullets."_ Jinyoung said without thinking.

_"That means you used it. Get out of there, Jin. You spent too much time in this country. Go get Yugyeom and return to Seoul. Forget Yi-en, abandon this plan."_

_"Wait! Was it your idea? You told them to put the gun in my suitcase on purpose? What the fuck!"_ Jinyoung's flabbergasted expression intrigued the American still in the room.

" _I'm sorry. It was a test. I needed to know how this whole thing is affecting you. I should have never sent you there. You're a writer, not a killer. You were just supposed to bring him to me, not use a gun on him. SooYoung wouldn't forgive me if I turned her little brother into a criminal."_

" _And only now you're telling me this?! Do you even know what I've been through?!"_ Jinyoung snapped, he couldn't help but hate the fact that he was unaware of his friend's methods quite often. 

_"I know, believe me. I wanted to take this burden from you when Daniel entered the penthouse. He was going to deal with Mark once and for all. But you broke a vase on his head. Things got out of hand."_ The Chinese declared without much ceremony.

_"Things got out of hand?! That fucking psycho works for you!? Do you even know what he's capable of? I can't believe you're associated with the likes of him. I refuse to believe that, Sseunah! How could you keep me in the dark all this time!?"_ Jinyoung screamed at the phone. The American just observed him with curiosity, wondering what could've made the Korean so agitated.

_"If you knew that he works for me beforehand, would it have made any difference? Look, I know it's a lot to take in, okay? But I can't talk to you through the phone about this. We'll discuss this whole thing when we see each other in person."_ Jackson informed him in a patronizing tone.

" _No! Do not dare to hang up on me! I want answers, and I want them right now! Did you set fire to the bar and made our target get kicked out of his neighborhood?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Is Daniel still after him? Is he perhaps your plan B?"_ Jinyoung knew that panic was ready to take over him. He just didn't know why what could happen to the American suddenly bothered him so much.

_"Yes. And yes."_ Jackson's straightforwardness was almost sinister.

_"Get rid of him then. Plan A succeeded. I'll bring him to you in two days."_ Jinyoung pleaded.

_"Jin, don't."_ Jackson advised him calmly.

_"SooYoung was my sister. I'm doing this for her."_ Jinyoung said, though he actually didn't know what he was doing anymore.

_"Too late. Plan B is already in action."_

_"Is he going to kill him?"_ Jinyoung asked at last, feeling his chest tightening.

_"You don't have to know. It's better if you don't_." Jackson warned him.

_"Tell me!"_ The Korean pressed hurriedly.

_"What do think it's going to happen when you bring him here? Have you forgotten about phase 2?"_ The Chinese asked in an impatient tone.

_"Come on, hyung! Let me do this! I won't disappoint you. Or her_." Jinyoung argued, as his eyes met Mark's attentive ones across the room.

" _Go home, Jin."_ Jackson said at last, ignoring his request. Then he simply hung up the phone. 

"Was it him? Was it your partner?" Mark questioned, as soon as he watched the unsettled Korean put his phone in his pocket. Jinyoung didn't know how to answer that. He didn’t know how to feel about that whole situation.

"It’s about plan B. It’s really happening. My mission has just been cancelled. Someone else is coming. You are right." A nervous Jinyoung replied, his hands shaking, his breath labored. Mark seemed to digest his answer quickly.

"That was fast.” The older commented, almost serenely and added, “I guess we won't be seeing each other anymore, right?" he asked quietly, as he approached the writer. Judging by Mark’s composed demeanor, the author could tell that it wasn’t the first time the older heard that his life was in danger. Or he just didn’t care.

"Right." Jinyoung's voice was barely a whisper now. That very confirmation left a sour taste in his mouth. Days ago, Mark’s death would have sounded like good news to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to entertain that idea now. Not after he pulled that trigger minutes ago and fate decided to let the older live. The author suddenly realized that he could not let him die, he just couldn’t. He had just made an attempt on the American’s life, but he still could be a hero, right? And he couldn’t help but think that leaving Korea with Mark seemed to be the best way to keep him safe now.

"Give me his name. If I'm going to die, I at least deserve to know who's my killer." Mark said softly, as he came very close to the younger, and brushed his nose against his. Jinyoung remained silent, but his hands quickly reached for Mark. The mesmerized Korean touched the side of his face, and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. The older smiled a bit at the unexpected contact. His voice was even gentler when he spoke again. “I wouldn’t have minded if my life was ended by the hands of Park Jinyoung, you know? It would have been the sweetest way to die.”

“I don’t want you to die.” It was all the author managed to utter before someone knocked on their door claiming to be room service. Jinyoung gasped when the older turned away from him and walked to the door. Mark glanced at him again, and raised an eyebrow at his reaction.

"Is it Plan B? Already?" The older’s eyes grew large, but he didn’t look frightened. Neither Jinyoung, nor him could guess what was behind that door. However, Mark already assumed the worst. "This is the moment I pronounce my last words, right? Well, let’s see, I just wish I could have had a chance to indeed help you with your book. Maybe open another bar, give Bam the life he deserves. I would have liked to visit Korea too, and I wouldn’t have minded if you were the one who showed me around Seoul." He added in a foreign tone, as grabbed the door handle.

"Don't open it!" The younger warned, as sweat damped his forehead.

"Don't let Bam see me if my corpse ends up looking too ugly." Mark gave him a faint smile, and opened the door in a single movement. Jinyoung ran to his side. Someone stood there, oblivious to their fears. The American said nothing until an old lady simply greeted him politely, handed him some clean towels, and excused herself. Mark watched the woman walk away from their door until she disappeared through the corridors of the hotel. Both he and Jinyoung looked tense for a few seconds, expecting some other nefarious action to take place. However, that was it.

Mark closed the door, looked at the writer, and finally broke into a fit of laughter. Jinyoung still had a dramatic expression plastered all over his face. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head when he realized that fortunately, that old lady wasn't another version of Jackson's plan B.

The author sighed in relief as he watched Mark laugh. The very sound of it vibrated inside the room, turning everything around them more alive. It was so loud and refreshing that it made Jinyoung smile a little. It reminded the author of the way Mark laughed at Yugyeom when the youngster presented some dance moves to them during a stupid game at the penthouse. It didn't have the same cruel ring as his other laughs. It was simply fascinating to see it and hear it.

"Was that a prank? Geez, Park Jinyoung! You're a fucking good actor. I'm sure I'd be a great fan of yours if you ever tried acting. You could try directing a movie too, I bet you’re the whole package!" Mark eyed him completely amused, as he leaned against the door and sat on the floor. The younger let him believe whatever he wanted at that point.

"You didn't look scared even though death was knocking on your door. That can’t be normal." The younger commented casually, also sitting on the floor, next to the other, who still tried to control his breathing. Jinyoung’s anger and resentment had temporarily evaporated with the adrenaline of the moment.

"I was trained not to show much of my emotions." Mark said as he stared at the ceiling.

"It must've been tough." The Korean commented. That information obviously peaked his interest, but he wouldn’t let the other know how eager he was to understand him better. The author believed that once he did figure him out, he would be able to accept whatever the American had to say about SooYoung. 

"Occupational hazards. I got by. "

"Was it because you sold stuff that could kill people? You had to be indifferent to what the drugs could do to them?" Jinyoung pressed, hoping that now they could have an honest and civilized chat that luckily, could lead him to the mystery surrounding his sister’s suicide.

"Oh, it wasn't like that. Of course I knew it was not okay to sell drugs, but I never stayed around to watch what they could do to a user. I told myself that I wasn't forcing them to take the pills, and that they were responsible for their actions."

"But you took SooYoung to your dorm room when she had a bad trip." An unyielding Jinyoung argued.

"Yeah, I did. I guess felt sorry for her. That was my mistake." Mark said quietly. His eyes looked distant, as if his mind was elsewhere.

"Why?" Jinyoung narrowed his eyes.

"Cameron found us. He thought there was something going on between us."

"Oh, my God. What happened then?" The Korean’s eyes grew large as he could almost picture in his mind the terrible consequences of that encounter. The American noticed the urge in his voice.

"He didn’t hurt her. I didn’t let him.” Mark said quickly, as if he realized he was talking too much. Then he tried to appease the younger who looked eager to start interrogating him. “Look, we barely know each other, and we clearly don’t trust each other. You came here for a revenge and you almost shot me to death minutes ago. You wanted to call off our deal, and now you say someone else is coming after me. You’re not consistent at all. I’m not even sure if what just happened was a prank. Who knows, maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and you won’t even be here anymore. Or maybe I won’t wake up because you’ll find the bullets for Daniel’s gun and actually kill me. I want to believe that my version of the truth is the only thing that binds us together. It’s what’s keeping you from leaving me behind. I can’t risk giving that away now. If there’s someone else after me, I need to know who it is in order to keep Bam safe. You ought to take me to this person. Once you do, I tell you this, all your questions will be answered. I promise I'll tell you everything when we arrive in South Korea. I give you my word." The older said in a serious voice. Jinyoung had no choice but to believe him. Even if he didn’t, there was nothing he could do about it. If he decided to take Mark and Bambam to America now it wasn’t just because he still wanted to know the mystery surrounding SooYoung’s suicide, it was mainly because he wanted to prevent more death from happening.

"Mark, I’ll take you to the person you wanna meet. But you must know that travelling with me might not be a danger free option. I don’t know what’s the worst alternative, leaving or staying. The truth is, I don’t think anywhere is safe for you now." The author warned, but he made a silent vow to himself that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt Mark before he learned the whole truth. He didn’t know if he could even trust Jackson after learning about his ‘association’ with Daniel. That information made him feel nauseated. What else was the Chinese hiding from him? What kind of employees had he hired besides Daniel? Did his former brother-in-law have connections in the underworld?

"Are you worried about me?" Mark furrowed his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side.

"Maybe I’m worried about my sanity, my principles and morals. There’s also my conscience, it keeps getting guiltier, and I long to clear it somehow." The Korean sighed heavily.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I'm the villain, remember? You pulled the trigger. What makes you think I can't handle a bit of danger? Seriously, I can take care of myself." Mark assured him and changed the subject abruptly. “By the way, I used your card to get me another room. I thought we could use some space. I hope you don’t mind. And before you ask, I didn’t steal any money from your wallet. Everything that was purchased was of your interest, so you can’t call me a thief this time. I got the passports you wanted and spared you of my heinous snoring beforehand. So, tonight, after you book our flights, you’ll have this huge bed all to yourself.” He added, as he waited for the other’s response. The younger looked disappointed by the news.

“What’s the number of your room?” Jinyoung wanted to ask him several questions, but he knew all of them would be left unanswered. And maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to let the older stay in another room, at least to put Daniel off the scent. Since the dealer was one of the Chinese’s employees, he certainly knew the number of the room they were in. If he stopped there that night, he at least would have some trouble finding Mark.

“70”. The American declared, as he picked up his bag from the floor and walked to the door.

“Well, I’ll be here if you need me.” Jinyoung said simply. He didn’t know why he did it, but the words were out even before he thought of what they could actually mean. The older just nodded to him and left the room silently.

It was 4 AM when Jinyoung heard soft knockings on his door. He immediately discarded the possibility of being Daniel outside. If the dealer was there, he wouldn’t be so polite. It couldn’t be the room service lady either, not at that hour. The author went to open the door then, guessing that his cousin had probably found a new way to annoy him. However, as soon as he opened the door, and the person before him, pushed him out of the way, and barged into the room, he realized that he had guessed it wrong.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Jinyoung asked alarmed as he eyed Mark up and down. He wondered if plan B had knocked on the older’s door.

“I had an idea. It’s brilliant! You have to hear it!” The American said anxiously. He looked agitated and the other noticed he was sweating a lot.

“What? What do you mean by an idea? Do you know what time it is? We have a flight to catch at noon.” The Korean frowned, closed the door and turned to him again.

“So you already bought the flight tickets?” Mark sounded surprised.

“Yeah, Mark. We’re leaving for Korea today.” Jinyoung replied, as he studied his unsettled behavior.

“Great!” The older exclaimed awkwardly. That was the second time the author had seen so many different expressions on the American’s face. However, Mark was all over the place now. He was absolutely taken aback when the older took his hands in his and led him to sit on the bed with him. His voice was hurried and almost impatient. “Listen, I have a plot for your book! It’s insane, but since you have nothing on the paper yet, you could make some use of it.”

“Now? You wanna talk about an idea for the book now? Mark, seriously, you’re not making any sense!” Jinyoung tried to reason with him. The older was radically unpredictable, sometimes too cold to be human, other times too human to be a monster. He was a peculiar man. The author couldn’t help but wonder if he was really all there. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

“I’m inspired. What can I say? Can’t you just shut up and listen?” The older insisted as he bounced on the bed excitedly. The Korean sighed, but still nodded at the anxious American before him. When Mark started his story, it took the Korean a few minutes to get used to the rapid English flowing from his mouth. Jinyoung wanted to remind him that he was a foreigner and that Mark needed to slow down a bit. Nevertheless, when his ears finally caught up to the American’s passionate rhythm and cadence, he could barely believe what he was hearing.

“…He had this thing with dolls. Everybody referred to him as the Doll Collector. His establishment wasn't an ordinary brothel, you see. He had this huge garage known as The Collector's Case, where his dolls would be up for auction, sold, bought, or simply rented. The collector would give nice names to his dolls, like Kabuki doll, Hina doll, Geisha doll, Kakeshi doll, China doll, and so on.” An unknown spark vibrated in Mark’s eyes as he mentioned the last name. Jinyoung was still trying to figure out where that story was going. He wondered if he really had heard the word ‘brothel’ in the middle of his narrative. He wasn’t sure if his listening was that accurate.

“…Whenever his dolls became defective or presented some kind of malfunction they would be taken to the Repair Shop. It was an extension of the Collector’s Case, just a bit scarier. Believe me, no doll was the same after being taken there. Their broken parts were 'fixed', and their flaws were immediately corrected, in case they needed medical intervention. They would be cut open, medicated, operated, patched up, and sewn back again, and again, no matter how many times it was necessary. They had to be in perfect shape, and perform how they were supposed to. There were other methods to keep them mollified. Some dolls didn't have physical deformities, they had mental ones, most of them acquired during their time at the Collector's Case. So they would be locked in a toy chest. Have you ever heard of sensory deprivation? The Repairer knew how to torture them, and he was quite skilled at it.” Mark chuckled a bit, as if he had mentioned a bad joke. Jinyoung turned serious now. He was absolutely sure that he was listening to a horror story, and maybe it wasn’t purely fictional.

“…And the doll worshippers were even more exotic characters. They were unscrupulous and most of them liked to play rough. There was no need for safe words, no limits to their perversions, and no boundaries to their fantasies. No line of consent needed to be established. After all, dolls were like robotic things, dehumanized, programmed to do what their creators expected them to do. They were like cold, enslaved machines made to follow instructions, and simply do what they were conditioned to do.” Mark’s oral narrative shocked the author by the second, as he struggled to understand where that plot was going.

“…Every single part of a doll had a function, every spot of skin was a button or a lever. You know, like, if a left nipple was touched, the doll would automatically do a lap dance, or cry, or laugh, or moan, or open their legs, or scream. In the beginning, it was hard for a doll to admit that it was a doll. But The Programmer could take care of that. Have you heard of erotic hypnosis? Some people believe that you can only hypnotize someone if they let you, if you are vulnerable to their suggestibility. And believe me, the problematic dolls just wanted some sort of escape. A way out of their bodies. Of course they wanted to be convinced that somehow they had no feelings at all, that they simply felt nothing. It was usually easier to cope that way. And that's how it worked, just like magic. The Programmer would put the doll in a trance, he would somehow give the doll the idea that they had been stripped away of all their emotions, because objects couldn't have emotions, and they were objects, so they weren't alive at all. The dolls too exhausted of being dolls just let themselves be what The Programmer forced them to believe that they were. Their minds would willingly accept that suggestion and go along with it. So, like a marionette, they suddenly had no power over their bodies, no pressure to control, or fight against anything. They would just let themselves be guided into an extreme state of relaxation. Their conscious mind were somewhat susceptible, subdued, tamed. Fear, shame, pain, worries...Those kind of feelings didn't belong to them at all, only if they were activated. Can you imagine the amount of arousal The Programmer felt by knowing how much control he could exert over every single doll? His voice was the law, the trigger. Can you believe that he could even train a doll to orgasm on command? He helped them evolve mentally and physically to deserve their owners. The funny things is that the dolls didn't even remember what was done to them when they were in their ‘full doll mode’.” Mark narrowed his eyes, as if he was trying to see something that was not there in the room. It was like he was inside his story, but he was only able to see bits and pieces of it. Jinyoung remained dramatically silent and focused.

“…The doll worshippers would pay good money for the rentable dolls. The Doll Collector knew some dolls were too special to be sold to a lucky client, so he kept them under lock and key. These dolls had their own rooms and the hardcore doll worshippers could only play with them for a couple of hours. The doll worshippers admired The Doll Collector, and they were almost like a cult. They had a lot of respect for their leader because they saw his work as art. It was rumored that The Doll Collector had come from a far, far away land, somewhere in Japan, and that he had this strange belief that dolls were the perfect hybrid of life and death, and somehow, he considered them soul bearers. According to these rumors, the Collector preached within his cult that dolls symbolized the intersection between the organic and the artificial. They had the best of both realms, because they were modeled the way the doll maker imagined how a human should be. They looked alive, but they weren't, and if they were kept under restrict maintenance, their bodies would be able to survive time. The Collector believed that living beings were sadly temporary, but dolls could last forever. Now imagine if you could turn a human into a doll! That was like a 'religious' mission for him.” Mark continued, relentlessly, incessantly. Jinyoung didn’t think he could continue to listen to that, but he did.

“…The Doll Collector established special dates in his calendar too. The Collector’s Case had its own ‘holidays’, like the one called The Broken Doll Festival that lasted for 3 days. Those days were the worst for some dolls that had passed their 'expiration date'. Although he considered his dolls immortal, the Collector claimed that some of them were too 'human' to defy the weight of time. Some of the doll worshippers were quite enthusiastic during this period. The Doll Collector taught his 'followers' that in Japanese folklore there was this sacred antique custom for purging, called The Impalement Ritual, and the Doll Collector claimed to know everything about it. Of course he twisted it a bit and adapted it to his will. Therefore, during the Broken Doll Festival, some dolls were supposed to 'take' the sins, misfortunes, and pain of their worshippers away. Obviously horrid impalements took place. Doll worshippers were free to do the 'impaling' as much as they wanted during those 3 days without charge, until the dolls became vessels of everything they hated. At the end of the third day, these dolls were sacrificed, as an offering to the spiritual world. Everything the doll worshippers thrust inside them would wither away with their passing. After the purging was done, no one would see those broken dolls ever again.” Mark said almost sadly. The author had put a hand over his mouth and struggled not to think that that story was real, and that Mark had actually lived it. Jinyoung could identify the true events embroidered on the surface of those bizarre metaphors.

“…Some doll worshippers eventually became outcasts. It wasn't often, but some of them would steal dolls, get them out of the Collector's Case, and free them. Some runaway dolls even tried to be human again, but it was too late. Unfortunately, their souls just weren't there anymore. They walked amongst humans, they acted like them, they even looked like them and served them drinks, but they were totally unlike them inside. Those dolls had finally become what the Doll Collector shaped them to be. An inanimate, insensate nothing." The American sighed and seemed to finally calm down. Was the story over? The author wondered.

"Mark, did this happen to you?" The beyond shocked Korean still had the most terrified look on his face. Suddenly, he started to comprehend the complexities of the man before him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll finally get to see Korea and the others characters in the following chapters.  
> It's about the time Markjin and Yugbam leave America.^^  
> Wait for it!


	13. South Korea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Write what should not be forgotten.”  
> ― Isabel Allende

"It's fiction, Jinyoung. I’ve dreamed about it a couple of times. You need to write a book, and I am just providing you ideas to work on. I do think you need an assistant, and I'm glad to help while I'm around." Mark said emotionlessly. All the furor that filled his voice while he was telling his story was swiftly gone.

"Well, I'm a quite skilled listener, and some stuff you said just sounded like reality. Why don’t you be honest with me? You often mention that there’s no use saving what’s already lost. All this time you’ve been talking about your humanity, haven’t you? I wasn’t able to understand you, but know I think I can! Even the name, China Doll, that's how they used to call you, right? That's why you hate it. That's why Bambam hit me-"

"It's just make believe! You're reading too much into it. Come on! A cult of Dolls? A legion of worshippers? A big bad Doll Collector? It’s just a grotesque fairytale, make-believe. Seriously, you've got it all wrong. What makes you think I'm an inanimate, insensate nothing?" Mark asked abruptly cutting him off, and giving him a glassy look. The writer gasped. He was convinced then that the older was one of the dolls mentioned in that deranged story.

"Was Cameron one of the doll worshippers? Was he the one who broke you out of there? Where was this Collector's Case to begin with? The Repairer, the Programmer and all the other characters…They were real people, right? When did this happen to you? How? Why? Was it before, or after you met SooYoung?" The author asked exasperated as he held Mark’s hands.

"I’m actually flattered that you feel so moved by my tale. But it was never my intention to make you think that whatever I’ve just narrated was based on real-life events. Wake up, Jinyoung! It was not real." The American insisted with an uncanny expression on his face. "Do you think a doll wouldn't remember being a doll?" He added reticently, as he seemed to question his own words. The older’s weird behavior made the younger even more certain of his suspicions.

"Bullshit! Why do you keep denying me the truth!? You do that all the time!" Jinyoung stood up, unable to digest what he had just listened. “I’m not an idiot! I saw the scars, I saw the way you looked torpid in Daniel’s arms at the penthouse! You were empty, your mind was gone! You were trained to act that way!” The author pushed, craving, yet, fearing that confirmation. He didn’t think any human being deserved to go through such a bizarre experience.

"Nonsense! This plot just came to me when I was getting ready to bed. I thought you could make use of it, for your novel. That's why I came here. You don’t have to get so worked up, just chill.” Mark said in an alien voice, as he also got up from the bed and faced the writer. “Sorry to disturb you. I'm going to my room now. Good night."

"Mark, wait!" Jinyoung shouted before the American reached the door. He noticed that Mark was shaking and he couldn’t help but worry for him. To his surprise, the older turned to him again with a hopeful look on his face.

"Can I stay here, then? And perhaps not talk about this story for a while? There’s a weird noise in my room. Is it okay if I sleep with you? I mean, I would just lie beside you, no touching, nothing like-"

"You can stay, Mark. And we don’t have to talk about it." Jinyoung cut him off, and grabbed his arm. He brought him to his bed, and covered him with his sheets. They stared at each other for a long minute, until the writer laid beside him and told him to get some sleep. The sun was already rising outside, and the concerned Korean knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore at that point. More than ever he missed home, the predictable normality of his daily routines, his language, his friends and family, his work, and the very South Korean air that never failed to soothe his soul. He thought that Mark could use some of that uneventful balance in his life. And for some strange reason, Jinyoung felt like he wanted to be the one to offer him that. He came to realize that if Mark was really a monster, it was because he was made a monster. And perhaps, since he was not born a monster, he shouldn’t be held accountable by the monstrosities he himself committed. After all, the real monsters were those who damaged him in order to transform him in an ‘inanimate, insensate nothing’.

Jinyoung didn’t even think the term monster could fit the American now. He didn’t think he could consider him an enemy either. SooYoung might have called him ‘her killer’ in that ambiguous suicide note, but how much did she know about Mark? Would that even matter now? The Korean eyed the man fast asleep by his side and touched his face. Warm. So warm. That wasn’t a monster, nor a doll. He was a victim who made victims, so he was twice a victim. Jinyoung concluded that Mark carried a burden that resulted from the evil he was subject to and also another kind of burden originated by the catastrophic effects he could have in people’s life. Those burdens were a combination of trauma and remorse. He could guess that Mark did more than drug dealing in his short life. The older himself pointed out that he had done some ‘pretty bad shit’ when he was younger and that maybe karma was catching up with him.

Jinyoung thought that no matter what the American did in the past, he couldn’t simply deliver him into Jackson’s revengeful hands. That wouldn’t be fair, nor righteous. He struggled to think of ways to fix that situation, because he could not allow himself to abandon Mark to his own devices. The author had reached a point of no return. And suddenly, he somehow could relate to his sister’s feelings when she wrote some of her final words. The only part of SooYoung’s suicide note that made sense now was its very beginning, ‘ _Since the day I met you, things have not been easy. I do not recognize myself, I’ve never felt this guilty. Since the day I met you, you made my heart squeeze. I cannot go back now, I have lost my way, completely.’_

**Hours later…**

"I've been thinking about your story." Jinyoung said softly as he eyed the disheveled American lying beside him starting to wake up. The writer’s hands typed fast on his laptop and he only paused his task to steal glances at the older. Watching him sleep could easily become his new hobby.

"Were you?" Mark asked without much interest and yawned.

"It kept me up for hours, I couldn't stop writing. This kind of inspiration doesn't come along very often these days. So I seized it. I already have an outline, some drafts and even the beginning of a chapter in mind. Something tells me that it's going to be huge. You actually provided me great material to create something again." For the first time, the author smiled at him without feeling guilty. His desire to protect Mark from any harm seemed to have doubled now. He pitied him, and now it was even harder to resent him. Jinyoung couldn’t help but think that whatever Mark had gone through at what the American called ‘The Collector’s Case’, it had in a way or another, compromised his emotional stability. He also wondered if the older was really unable to remember that he was part of that story.

"You're actually serious." Mark was surprised at first. Then he gave the Korean an uncertain look. “I didn’t think that kind of shit was your style.”

“I’m quite versatile.” Jinyoung declared and examined his lovely morning face. He unconsciously ruffled the older’s hair, but quickly removed his hand when he realized what he was doing. “Did you sleep well?” he asked awkwardly, turning his attention to his laptop again. Mark didn’t look bothered by his gesture.

“Why wouldn’t I?” The American raised an eyebrow at him. The writer shrugged. If the older wasn’t willing to discuss what happened to him, he wouldn’t push him. At least not right now.

“We should start packing and get something to eat. It’s almost eleven and our flight is at noon.” The writer informed him casually.

“I don’t actually have much packing to do. I usually travel light.” The older said as he stretched his limbs on the bed. The younger’s eyes fell upon him again. Jinyoung was mesmerized by each movement of his. He wished he could watch all those tiny details of the older’s waking up process every morning.

"You talk in your sleep." Jinyoung commented amusedly, as his eyes returned to the screen of his computer.

"What did I say?" Mark sounded alarmed now, as he sat up on the bed.

"I couldn't understand. I guess it was another language. Perhaps, Mandarin? I have a Chinese friend, and you kinda sounded like him." Jinyoung explained, not really sure if he should tell the older that this friend happened to be SooYoung's former fiancé.

"Strange. I haven't been practicing my Mandarin in a while. I must have forgotten a bunch of things." Mark said, as he scratched the back of his head.

"It seems to me that Mandarin wasn't the only thing you forgot." Jinyoung gave him a curious look. Mark swallowed and furrowed his brows.

"What do you mean?" He blinked several times.

"You gave me a plot, but you forgot that I need a name for my main character." The Korean gave him a knowing look. Would the older finally admit that he was talking about something he had really experienced in real life? The younger was eager to him say it at last.

"You're the novelist here, Jinyoung. Do you expect me to write the whole book for you? Just pick any stupid name." An uneasy Mark quickly got up from the bed.

"Dimsun." Jinyoung said out of the blue.

"What?! Do you even know what that is?" Mark eyed him incredulously.

"It's a Cantonese dish. One of my friend's favorite by the way." Jinyoung said, casually.

"That's the dumbest character name I've ever heard." Mark scoffed and shook his head in disbelief.

"Fair enough, can you do better than that?" There was a tinge of challenge in the writer's tone. Mark bit on his lower lip and seemed a bit hesitant for a second.

"I don’t have a name for your protagonist, but maybe I've got a name for your book." He said at once.

"Let's hear it then." Jinyoung eyed him expectantly, putting his lap top aside.

"The Inhuman Life of a Former China Doll." He whispered cautiously, as if he had just revealed a mortal secret to the other. Jinyoung’s mouth opened and closed as if he had something to say, but didn’t know where to start. If it wasn’t for Bambam’s insistent knockings on their door, the younger would’ve tried to extend that subject further. He would’ve questioned him about whys and hows. However, there was no time to even complete that thought. As soon as Mark opened the door, Yugyeom and Bambam barged into their room with their baggage and hurried them to get out of the bed, after all, they had a flight to catch. It was time to say goodbye to America.

**~ South Korea, Seoul, 7AM, Jinyoung’s apartment**

“Home sweet home.” Yugyeom said out loud, as the four of them entered the apartment with their luggage. Bambam chuckled behind him and Mark chewed on his bottom lip. The trip was long and tiring. He and Jinyoung didn’t have time to interact during those 13 hours onboard. Bambam and Mark’s seats were next to each other, but Jinyoung and Yugyeom’s were quite far from them.

“I still don’t know why you don’t go to your own home. You remember you have one, right? Your parents surely miss you.” Jinyoung said to his cousin sarcastically, as he took Mark’s bag from his hand. The American frowned at that but said nothing. He wondered why the author seemed a bit different since they landed in South Korea. While Yugyeom still acted overly affectionate towards Bambam, Jinyoung and Mark’s fake PDA seemed to be reduced to nothing. However, it was replaced by something else. Jinyoung sounded and acted extremely polite and attentive towards the American. Even the looks he stole at him from time to time looked kinder somehow. He didn’t understand why the younger had this ‘friendly’ air about him. Mark guessed that perhaps that was the properly Korean and closeted Park Jinyoung in his own habitat. He imagined that this lighter side of him was another facade, yet, it was how Mark believed that the author probably behaved around his Korean peers. The older also figured that the fact that they were already in Seoul, certainly made the younger assume that he would finally get the truth about his involvement with SooYoung out of him. The American knew what was expected of him, but he wasn’t going to worry about that now. The little he had seen of the city so far did not displease him. During the ride from the airport to the Korean’s apartment, he enjoyed the view he saw from the windows of the cab, but the language barrier bothered him. Yugyeom and Jinyoung had to handle all the communication on Incheon Airport, at a restaurant where they had lunch, and also inside the cab that took them to the writer’s apartment. Both Mark and Bambam depended on the pair of Koreans for almost everything now. The American felt like a child, who was told where to go and what to do. The feeling was unsettling to say the least, too familiar.

“Oh, God, no. It’s not time to introduce Bam to them yet, but I will soon.” An ecstatic Yugyeom pulled the Thai to him and slid an arm around his neck just to leave a few kisses there. Then he pouted, turning to his cousin again. “Do you plan to kick me out? You have 2 rooms, and we are 2 couples, right?! Your apartment is big enough for all of us, hyung.” Yugyeom winked mischievously at his cousin after his eyes travelled from Mark to him. Bambam giggled. Jinyoung huffed. Mark just observed the interaction quietly.

“I can’t wait to see how big is our bed!” Bambam declared animatedly as he gave his boyfriend a peck.

“Let’s put these bags upstairs then, shall we?” The author suggested, ignoring the lovey-dovey pair across the room as he turned to the quiet American beside him. The latter simply nodded. As soon as they walked to the foot of the stairs, someone appeared at the top of them.

“Gyeom-ah! You’re so loud that I could hear your voice from up here.” The man said in Korean, drawing everyone’s attention to him. Jinyoung didn’t look surprised to see him there, he just felt a bit self-conscious. Mark wondered who that was. He looked good, incredible good, and his broad shoulders gave him an air of dependability. “How was the trip, kid? I see you’ve brought some friends.” The man asked Yugyeom, with a smile that almost made both his eyes disappear from his face.

“Oh, hi there! We didn’t know you were here, hyung. What a surprise. Jae hyung kicked you out of home or something? What are you doing here anyways?” A lively Yugyeom greeted him in the same language and whispered something in Bambam’s ear. The Thai chuckled. His boyfriend was definitely up to something. On the other hand, the writer’s uncomfortable silence made the American believe that the person now coming down the stairs was Jinyoung’s ‘partner in crime’. Mark automatically gave him an unfriendly stare.

“I regularly stop by to feed Jin’s fishes. Who else would look after his aquarium while he was overseas looking for an inspiration for his next novel?” The man laid his eyes on Mark and then glanced at the speechless Jinyoung beside him. He came a bit closer to the writer and spoke in a lower voice, making impossible for Yugyeom to hear him from where he was standing. “Which one is him? The happy-go-luck one with Gyeom over there, or this quite intimidating character narrowing his eyes at me?” The man questioned in a serious tone, still using their mother language. The author obviously knew what his friend was getting at, so Jinyoung simply made a disconcerted gesture in Mark’s direction. The other’s eyes bored into the older now. The American sighed. The undecipherable language used in the Koreans’ interaction, and the man’s intense stare unnerved him.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us? He might not understand shit of what I say, and I obviously can’t understand him either, but exchanging names is still the polite thing to do right now, yeah? Koreans do have manners, don’t they?” The impatient American looked at Jinyoung with annoyance. The author inhaled, looking lost. He didn’t think he was ready to mediate that interaction. He didn’t know where to begin.

“They do indeed. Do Americans have any?” The man said in English, taking Mark by surprise.

“He’s just my editor, relax. He’s harmless. And as you can see, he can speak English too.” Jinyoung’s voice was almost a whisper. He could almost guess what the older was thinking, and he didn’t want Mark to assume that Jaebeom was the man who had been helping him in his revenge plan. However, before the author could explain himself a bit further, Yugyeom chimed in and walked towards them with a smirk on his face.

“Wait, hyung. You’ve gotta let me do this introduction.” He announced playfully, as Jinyoung grimaced. He wanted to stop his cousin, but it was too late. Finally shifting to English, the youngster started. “Mark Tuan, meet your rival, the editor Lim Jaebeom, who almost became more than friends with Jinyoung hyung. Lim Jaebeom, meet Jinyoung’s future new boyfriend, the Californian bartender Mark Tuan.” A pleased Yugyeom declared as he eyed the editor and the American’s tense features. Jaebeom quickly eyed Jinyoung in disbelief.

“Boyfriend?! Are you out of your mind?! What are you playing at Jinyoung-ah?” The editor looked scandalized. Yugyeom broke into a fit of laughter and kept commenting how their faces were priceless. He didn’t know for sure the reason for Jaebeom’s shock, but he found the scene hilarious. Bambam wasn’t laughing. Even though that was supposed to be a joke, he could tell the editor didn’t think it was funny. Bambam worried about his best friend’s relationship with the author, and he hoped that editor wouldn’t get between them.

“Can’t we talk about this later? We’re all jetlagged here. It’s a long story.” An ashamed Jinyoung already predicted the sermon his editor was preparing for him. Jaebeom knew about his intentions when he went to the U.S. The so-called ‘inspiration’ that the writer sought in America was SooYoung’s supposed ‘murderer.’ And now he was back from his trip, with his ‘sworn enemy’ in tow, but according to Yugyeom, they were more than that. Jaebeom had several reasons to look as astonished as he was, and Jinyoung was aware that he had a lot of explanation to do. His friend wouldn’t leave him alone until he clarified the actual situation to him. Mark frowned at the looks exchanged between the two and thought that he should say something.

“Don’t mind this kid. We’re still getting to know each other. Nice to meet you, by the way.” A seemingly less disturbed Mark almost extended his hand for a handshake, but he realized the editor wasn’t even looking at him. Jaebeom’s impossibly sharp eyes were glued to the author. Bambam cleared his throat from across the room and reminded his boyfriend that he still wasn’t introduced to the editor. Yugyeom gave him an apologetic smile, took him by the hand and brought him before Jaebeom, who still seemed to be having a staring contest with Jinyoung.

“And last, but not least, this is Kunpimook Bhuwakul. He’s 23, he’s from Bangkok, Thailand, but lived most of his life in America, and he’s currently the love of my life.” Apparently, Yugyeom was the only one who was unable to read the icy atmosphere in the room.

“Do all editors eye-fuck their writers like this?” Bambam asked bluntly, and suddenly all eyes were on him. Even Jaebeom turned to him, and this time he looked puzzled.

“I am not…We are not…Wait! Look, I’m married and I love my husband.” A defensive Jaebeom stated firmly, as he lifted his left hand and showed him the ring on his finger.

“I’ve heard that a thousand times on the streets. And the ring on their fingers never stopped their dicks.” A bold Bambam said in a mocking tone. Yugyeom tried not to burst into a fit of laughter again, as he eyed Jaebeom’s stupefied expression. Jinyoung sighed heavily for the tenth time, and Mark swallowed.

“Where did you find this one again?” The editor eyed the youngest Korean in the room and furrowed his brows.

“Los Angeles, California. And he’s taken.” Yugyeom replied proudly and slipped an arm around the Thai’s waist. Jaebeom scoffed and then he unexpectedly grinned a bit. The editor obviously thought that Bambam was joking. The others looked somewhat relieved.

“He’s funny, I like him.” The editor shook his head in defeat. “Welcome to Seoul both of you. I hope you enjoy your stay. You can call me JB.” He said as he finally shook hands with the two foreigners. He gave Jinyoung a reproving look while he shook Mark’s hands. The author ran a nervous hand through his hair.

“Since you already fed the fishes, I guess you should go now. Thanks, hyung.” Jinyoung suggested weakly, still fearing his reproach.

“Right. You guys are tired and you need your rest. Can we just go to your office first? I’d like to have a word. It won’t take long.” Jaebeom said with a forced smiled on his lips as he grabbed the author’s wrist. However, before he could drag Jinyoung away, a hand on his arm stopped him.

“If this is about work, you guys can talk about this another time. Can’t you see he’s exhausted?” Mark said abruptly, and a skeptical Jaebeom automatically let go of Jinyoung. He had no idea why the American was glaring at him.

“Mark, it’s fine.” Jinyoung said calmly, as he gently removed Mark’s hands from the editor’s arm. “Just go upstairs and take the room on the right. That’s my room, you can put your stuff there since Yugyeom and Bam will stay in the spare room.” Jinyoung handed the bag in his hand to the American and finally faced his friend. Then he added more assertively, “This won’t take long.”

The author walked in the direction of his office and beckoned Jaebeom to follow him. The editor gave one last quizzical look to the American and left the room to join the writer in the office. As soon as the pair disappeared behind a thick wooden door, Bambam clicked his tongue and approached his best friend.

“You shouldn’t worry about him. Jinyoung doesn’t look at him, the way he looks at you.” The Thai young man assured the American, as he noticed the disquieted expression on his face.

“Yeah, hyung. Don’t be jealous. Even if my cousin went after his editor, it would be a total failure. Jaebeom hyung wasn’t joking when he mentioned that he’s married. Choi Youngjae totally has him whipped and he likes it. I’ve seen many married couples cheat, including my parents. However, the 2Jae couple is not like them. They actually take faithfulness quite seriously. They truly love each other. You’ll understand what I mean when you see them together.” Yugyeom assured the American as he put a consoling arm on his shoulder.

“How long have they been married?” Mark asked, still a bit shaken. He didn’t even deny the ‘jealous’ part Yugyeom mentioned. The American remembered that during a stupid game of 2 truths and 1 lie Jinyoung had told him about an old crush he had on his editor. The American couldn’t blame the writer. With such a gorgeous editor around him all the time, working must’ve been the last thought on the Korean’s mind. Mark was dying to know what was going on behind the door of the author’s office.

“2 years. They had to fly to New York to tie the knot, since it’s impossible to have a _same-sex marriage_ or any other form of legal union for gay couples in Korea.” Yugyeom said a little disappointed as he kissed Bambam’s forehead. “What a bummer, huh? Welcome to one of the most conservative countries of Asia, guys.”

“Don’t worry. We can get married in L.A. when the time comes. Can we go upstairs now? I’m tired.” Bambam rested his head on his shoulder and yawned.

“Sure, Bammie. Let’s go get some rest. Come on, Mark hyung. I know this place like the back of my hand. I’ll show you my cousin’s room.” The young Korean announced, as he grabbed the bags and suitcases around them and started to climb the stars. Mark immediately went to help him and they went to their respective rooms.

Meanwhile, the mood in Jinyoung’s office was not one of the best.

“You what?!” Jaebeom barked, throwing his arms in the air.

“I just let Yugyeom and Mark’s friend think that there’s something going on between us because I didn’t want them to become suspicious of my real intentions. But there’s nothing going on between us. I can assure you that sleeping with that guy never crossed my mind.” Jinyoung lied through his teeth, but he was convincing. His acting had bloomed and improved since he returned from Hollywood. He realized that he could quite get a handle on the way his characters went through radical developments in his novels. He felt like a character himself, deceiving his best friend to avoid getting a lecture from him.

“Well, what about Tuan? What the hell did you do to convince him to come here?” Jaebeom asked at last, as he crossed his arms and waited for an explanation.

“He has debts, he has no money, and I offered him a job as my assistant. So he took it.” Jinyoung almost lost his composure.

“Just like that?! Do you really want me to believe that he travelled all the way here with a stranger-”

“Jackson paid people to burn down his bar, and kick him out of his own apartment. There’s people after him, the dangerous kind. The guy is desperate, and he has nowhere to go! He has nothing, but his Thai friend.” Jinyoung knew he needed to cut him off, before the editor started to speculate.

“Jackson did what?! Jinyoung, I told you not to get involved in his stupid revenge. You will get in trouble with the law, man! For Christ sake, just send this American and his friend back home and resume your writing! That’s what you’re good at! You’re not a criminal or a vigilante. You should’ve never gone after him in the first place. But you did, and now he’s an easy target. Mission one is complete, Jackson will be glad to hear it. What’s the next step, huh? Once he gets his hands on this guy, what do you think he’s gonna do? Can’t you guess what’s gonna happen?! Do you think any of this would make SooYoung happy?” A stressed out Jaebeom argued, pacing around the room. The writer remained sitting on his chair, resting his hands on the large table before him.

He had written many pages of his novels on that table. He missed it dearly. He missed that office. He missed the familiar smell of the old books on the shelves, those distinctive odors permeating the walls, the air, and the very floor of the office. The generous library inside that office reminded him of what he used to be and what he was good at. He looked at the top shelves, and eyed his favorite authors there. He was fascinated by first editions, and he would pay a large amount of money just to acquire a first edition signed by one of his favorite authors. He knew he should’ve stored them in protective boxes or covers, in order to properly preserve them, but he always wanted to be able to gaze at them, and touch them whenever he had the chance. He actually liked to see the decay eating those pages away.

It was a strange pleasure, to watch the fading of the letters and the change of colors on the decomposing pages. Gone but not forgotten. It often made him wonder if one day his writings would also be worshipped like that by someone else. It amazed him to think that one day he would be gone, but his works could live forever. He dreamed to be as great as those authors at the top shelf. He hoped that several editions of his books would be reprinted, read, studied, translated, sold out, remastered, and infinitely resurrected throughout decades, or maybe more. That way, he would leave his mark on the world. However, now there was no time to think of greatness. His friend wished to discuss the very reason he wasn’t able to sit at that table and enjoy the scents he adored. His friend wanted to talk about the revenge that alienated him from his writing. His friend had warned him of something he already knew. He was casting away that pleasant aroma of immortality, to drown himself in the stench of death. It was a stench that followed him since the day he found out his sister had committed suicide. It was a stench he imagined that would vanish, once he found his enemy, and once his enemy found death. But now he didn’t think he could hate his enemy, he didn’t even think that he had one at that point, and that unbelievable, perturbing fact, disoriented him. Distracted as he was, he could not focus on his legacy. His dream seemed far away, because he never felt so ordinarily mortal and mediocre at the present time. He felt as transient as his supposed hatred for Mark.

“I’ll talk Jack out of it. I don’t know! I’ll make him listen. I won’t let him do anything extreme. He probably just wanna talk to the guy! He wants answers, just like I do. He needs to have this meeting with Mark to move on. I’ll watch Sseunah, I won’t let him go too far, I promise. Besides, it’s not like he’s gonna kill him, he’s not a murderer! We’ve known him for years, we graduated with him! He almost became my brother- in- law, he’s my friend too. He’s practically family, and I can’t let him down.” Jinyoung retorted, knowing very well that Jaebeom was right. Deep down, he was sure that their Chinese friend would never listen to reason. Perhaps, the author was trying to convince himself that he would be able to stop Jackson, or that Mark would be safe as long as he kept him by his side.

“Are you ready to get blood on your hands, Jinyoung? Because that’s what’s gonna happen when Jackson learns that this man is in your freaking apartment! We both know that.” Jaebeom insisted, trying to reason with the author.

“I’ll handle it. Mark will be fine, I swear.” The conflicted writer said finally. His urgent tone was too clear, too desperate. Jaebeom gave him a quizzical look.

“You two are already on a first-name basis. When I touched you in the living room he shot daggers at me. He was obviously not happy when you decided to talk to me instead of going upstairs with him. Now he’s even sleeping in your room! Are you sure that Yugyeom and the other kid are the only ones who think that there’s something going on between you two?! He’s kinda pretty, isn’t he?” Jaebeom eyed him suspiciously.

“I refuse to answer this repulsive question of yours.” Jinyoung replied briskly. The question wasn’t repulsive at all. He felt like he was the one who was repulsive. He himself felt disgusted for lying to Jaebeom, and for lying to himself. The author didn’t just think that Mark was pretty, he considered that ‘pretty’ was a word too mundane to describe the American. And if there was something going on between them, he wasn’t in the right mind to access it.

“Go rest, Jinyoung. I’m gonna go now, but I’ll stop by tonight.” Jaebeom sighed in frustration.

“For what exactly?” Jinyoung eyes grew large.

“Dinner. I’ll bring Jae. He misses you. Order some food, will you?” The editor said, as he walked to the door.

“Do I have a choice?” Jinyoung asked in a weary tone.

“No. You don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, the other characters will show up in the following chapters...I guess.  
> ^^


	14. The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let the flesh instruct the mind.” - Anne Rice

When Jaebeom left the apartment, Jinyoung felt numb. He sat on the sofa of his living room and thought of his editor’s words, and his suggestion of sending Mark away. He thought of what Jackson could do to the American. He wondered where Daniel was and if phase 2 was already on course. He wouldn’t be surprised to know that Jackson’s anonymous employees had already informed him that Mark was in Seoul. He wondered if the Chinese was still in Hong Kong. He wondered why he couldn’t bear the thought of letting the American get hurt. He didn’t even know the older’s role in his sister’s suicide. However, he was already getting used to the idea that SooYoung’s murderer was herself. No matter what had happened to her, or was done to her, she was the one who chose to cease living, and whoever or whatever drove her to entertain suicidal thoughts, wasn’t as cruel as the person who put a noose around her neck. That fatal and irreversible act was his sister’s doing, and no one else’s.

Jinyoung was still lost in thought when he heard a noise upstairs. His heart raced as he stood up and ran to the stairs. He thought that someone could be inside the apartment. He couldn’t help but fear that an unwanted visitor was sent to take Mark’s life once and for all, and put an end to that maddening story of reckless revenge. When he opened the door to his room, Mark was standing there in front of him, with only a towel around his waist. He was all wet and he had a startled look on his face.

“Sorry for the ruckus. I was trying to adjust the shower temperature and I almost scalded myself. I haven’t seen one of those in a while.” Mark said embarrassedly, noticing the younger’s alarmed expression.

“Are you hurt?” Jinyoung asked as he walked towards him worriedly. He eyed the old scars on his side and immediately remembered Mark’s narrative about the Collector’s Case. That horrific tale still haunted the author’s mind, but he didn’t feel like he had the right to question the older about the legitimacy of his words. He wasn’t sure if he should write a book based on them either. The subject was delicate, too explicit for his readers. That story could be real, and it wasn’t his story to tell. He wondered if those scars on Mark’s skin were made by the Repairer, and if Daniel was a character in that sadly unsavory plot. He wondered if Cameron was part of it too and if he was a Doll Worshipper. Doubts kept popping up in his head, and his conjectures weren’t solid enough. The more time he spent around Mark, the more mysterious the older seemed to him. And at that point he didn’t even know if all he wanted from the American was the truth regarding his sister’s death.

“I am fine, Jinyoung.” Mark assured him, as he watched the Korean run his fingers along his scars. He didn’t move, he just let the younger caress the wet skin. Jinyoung lifted his eyes to meet his, while his hand reached the back of Mark’s neck.

“I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you. I don’t think I could bear it.” The author said softly as he pulled the older to him and buried his hand in his hair. Their faces were dangerously close now, their foreheads were already touching, but the American’s voice came out as a warning.

“Right, you wouldn’t be able to bear it because then your mission would’ve been useless. You need me alive to find out the truth. If I die, so does the answer you’ve been dying to hear. I haven’t forgotten our agreement and I’m willing to keep my end of the bargain. You brought me to Korea for a reason, didn’t you? Maybe it’s time we talk about your sister.” Mark whispered very close to his lips.

“No, it’s not.” Jinyoung murmured, as he locked eyes with his former enemy. “You didn’t kill her, did you?” he asked as he brushed his nose against Mark’s and one of his hands lingered on the towel wrapped around the other’s waist.

“No.” The older replied firmly, as he felt the Korean’s fingers brush against his hipbone.

“Did you hurt her in any way?” The author whispered, as his other hand moved upward and slightly massaged the American’s sternum. The older’s breathing became erratic when the same hand moved to one of his still wet nipples and started to draw light circles over it. The gentle movements that teased the areola surrounding the area created bliss-inducing shivers all over his body. He felt extremely hot, and he was aware that it wasn’t due to the temperature of the shower he took a few minutes earlier.

“N-never.” A flushed Mark almost choke on the syllables. Jinyoung made a satisfied sound, and lifted his eyes to meet his gaze. Inevitably, their lips finally found each other and engaged into a passionate dance. The movement of their mouths were tender at first, with delicate massages and nibbles. The author sucked on Mark’s upper lip, gently moving downwards, and then sandwiching the older’s lower lip between his teeth. Mark opened his mouth, surrendering to that delicious torture. The moment Jinyoung saw that, he fully attached his mouth to his, introducing his tongue to Mark’s. The older deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around him. Jinyoung loved his taste, his heat, and the lingering smell of soap on his skin. He kissed him madly, as he tried to quench the increasing agony that inflamed his chest. He wanted to swallow him whole, but eventually, they had to pause in order to breathe.

“Swear to me.” Jinyoung panted, as he withdrew from him a bit just to stare into his eyes. “Do it.” The author pleaded, completely overwhelmed by that intimate moment. The older quickly missed his kisses even though they were less than a breath away.

“I swear.” Mark murmured, and immediately the author leaned on him again. The American anticipated the contact of his lips, but the younger just cocked his head to the side, making their eyelashes connect. Mark relaxed against him, as he batted his eyes against the younger’s. Suddenly Jinyoung pulled the older even closer to him again and started to spread kisses all over his face, leaving traces of saliva on Mark’s cheeks, nose, and chin. The American moaned sexily as he felt the author’s kisses reach his neck. He couldn’t help but sink his nails on Jinyoung’s back when the Korean licked and sucked on his earlobe.

“I believe you.” Jinyoung whispered against his ear before he placed a sweet kiss on Mark’s eyelids just below his brow bone. The look on the American’s face was indescribable. The younger couldn’t tell if he liked to hear that or if he just didn’t care. Jinyoung could compare the man in his arms to one of those not reader-friendly, challenging books that offered no clue of its meaning. One could struggle to understand it, and even commit themselves to pursue the engaging mystery of its pages, rereading the same lines thousands of times in order to interpret them properly, but no matter how much effort was put to make sense of its paragraphs, they still felt like no progress was made. Jinyoung appreciated that. The more he tried to read Mark, the more excited he would get. Because even though he wasn’t able to figure him out right away, the author, as an experienced reader, didn’t feel frustrated or defeated about coming across such a man. On the contrary, he felt compelled to keep studying him, in the hopes of acquiring great enlightenment as soon as he solved the final puzzle called Mark Tuan. The Korean knew that such a confusing book would require him more than a second reading, he knew he would have to defy his own mind, and that sometimes he’d feel that it would be impossible to get through it. Nevertheless, he was ready to exercise his patience in order to get far with that serious and colossal undertaking. And Jinyoung had already realized that he could make that ‘literary endeavor’ more pleasurable for both of them. He would examine Mark in every single way, in and out. If every spot of his skin had a chapter, the Korean wasn’t going to simply flick through those pages, he was going to scrutinize it, taste it, and devour every inch of it.

The American seemed to enjoy that moment of exploration. While he fondled the younger’s lower back, he tilted his head and moved forward to kiss his mouth again. Jinyoung tasted more of his lips then, embracing him tightly. Their lips weren’t the only ones touching but also their hearts, and as soon as the writer felt both pulsating muscles sing the same erratic melody, he thought that no matter what sins the other could’ve committed, he would not hold them against him. That beating heart couldn’t belong to monster, after all monsters do not have hearts. And the fact that Mark’s heart was hammering so fast because of his touches was enough to stimulate Jinyoung’s seductive moves.

“Thank you.” Mark whispered to him as soon as they broke the kiss. The Korean gently nodded to him and lowered his head to kiss the older’s naked chest. It was already heaving up and down, fast paced. They were both too excited to let go of one another. All those kisses had ignited a fire in them that could not be contained anymore. They were both hard at that point, and they could feel each other’s erection during their embrace. None of them suggested what should be done next. Their flesh and hearts had the command now.

When the author nibbled Mark’s collarbone, his skin throbbed between the younger’s teeth. The sensual low moan that escaped his mouth, encouraged Jinyoung to entice his arousal. Therefore, Jinyoung’s lips moved a bit lower. The Korean used the tip of his tongue to attack his nipple again, giving it gentle sucks, slowly taking the whole erogenous area, nipple and its areola, into his mouth. He did that while pinching his other nipple, squeezing it between his fingers. An erotic groan escaped Mark’s lips. His legs quivered, and his eyes were half-open now, as he surrendered his body to the intense sensations the younger infused in him.

“Do you want me to keep going?” Jinyoung asked in a sultry voice, as he paused his ministrations for a second. The bulge in his pants was a proof that he was just as aroused as the panting American was. The latter nodded, as he bit his lower lips in anticipation. The author kneeled before him and held his hips firmly with both hands. He looked up at Mark, and then at the obvious tent slightly protruding from the towel. Mark blushed furiously when he felt the other’s teeth unwrap the towel that barely covered his genitals. The American was stripped of all his rational thoughts as soon as the fabric hit the floor. He was completely lost in the younger’s meticulous foreplay. The Korean lifted up his eyes to meet his again, as he waited for an answer.

“Y-yes.” The older whimpered, struggling to get the words out. His cheeks and ears reddened even more when the younger gave him a sly smile, and started stroking his erection. The author pumped his length with one hand, and caressed his balls and inner thighs with the other.

The moment Jinyoung’s tongue teased his tip, the older bent a little forward and placed his hands on the Korean’s shoulders in order to keep himself from losing balance. There was a large mirror on the corner of the room, where he could easily see the reflection of their act staring back at him. That image of a submissive Jinyoung on his knees, pleasuring him, intensified his libido. His eyes rolled into the back of his head when the younger took him in his mouth. Jinyoung’s hot cave applied the right pressure around his hard dick, as he blew him sensually, slowly and rhythmically. The Korean puckered his lips as he moved forward and curled his lips as he moved backward. The American couldn’t help but thrust his manhood forward, trying to push his penis deeper in the younger’s throat, eager to make the Korean deep throat him. Jinyoung held him still, maneuvering Mark’s dick to either fleshy side of his cheek, letting the older feel like he was further inside his mouth. The younger’s humming, moaning, and groaning gave Mark auditory confirmation that he was loving to blow him.

Every time they made eye-contact, the older felt like he couldn’t handle anymore. Mark could feel his orgasm building up as he wondered if the younger would swallow or spit his seed. He mewled loudly, and gripped Jinyoung’s hair tightly in order to sink deeper in his mouth again and increase the blowjob pace. This time the author let him fuck his mouth as he pleased. Rough, always rough. That’s how Mark liked it. Jinyoung successfully managed to control his gag reflex, as he allowed the gorgeous man in front of him to use his mouth like there was no tomorrow. He could guess that it wouldn’t take long for Mark to reach his peak, and that simple thought, of having the older’s seed fill his mouth felt liberating. He wasn’t as conflicted as before. He didn’t think he would feel ‘violated’ by his poison again. The first time they had sex, it was also the first time Jinyoung felt a man enter and come inside of him. He felt ashamed, since he considered himself an unbendable top, and the fact that that man, his supposed nemesis, mixed his cum with his own blood, was enough to make him feel even more pathetic and repugnant. But now, he didn’t consider Mark’s fluids the worst kind of venom, nor he felt like he was sleeping with the enemy. The Korean assumed that he was the one in charge, and no harm would come from that act. He was the one who decided to remove that towel from the older’s hips, and he was also the one responsible for his upcoming orgasm. He told himself that he wasn’t going to regret what could happen after that. That blowjob could easily lead to something more, and Jinyoung obviously wanted so much more. He wanted to survey that body till he could memorize every single spot of it, he had to unravel its secrets, be inside it, and find out what noises the older was able to utter while he thrust in and out of him. He wanted to decipher Mark physically and mentally, to the point of possessing all of his enigmas.

Unfortunately, both him and the older were interrupted by the sound of the door being opened. The shock of seeing Yugyeom’s head poke through the partially opened door, made the American immediately gasp and stop the younger’s motions. The embarrassed elder released the firm grip he had on Jinyoung’s hair, and quickly withdrew his cock from the Korean’s warm mouth. The writer made a displeased sound as he quickly picked up the towel on the floor, stood up and wrapped it around Mark’s waist. He was hard too, but at least he was clothed. His cousin shamefully stood at the door, giggling at their panic.

“What the fuck do you want, you punk? Don’t you how to knock?” Jinyoung exclaimed in a mix of irritation and embarrassment, as he put a pillow in front of his pants, and ran to the door. He sighed in frustration as he saw Mark lock himself in the bathroom, probably too desperate to finish off what Yugyeom had just ruined.

“Come on, dear cousin. You were just giving Mark hyung head. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all like cocks, I won’t hold that against you.” The youngster grinned as he ignored the glare the author was giving him. “It’s not like I’m gonna be scarred or something, I’m a big boy.” A teasing Yugyeom winked at Jinyoung, who fought the urge to literally kick him out of his apartment.

“Next time you barge into my room without knocking, I’m gonna whoop your ass thoroughly. Now, are you gonna tell me what is it that you want, you little shit?” The vexed writer demanded.

“Youngjae hyung called. He said he accepted the dinner invitation and that he and JB hyung will be here at 8. I didn’t even know they were coming, but I promise I’ll behave.” He raised an eyebrow at the writer and smirked. “Eager to introduce your American boyfriend to another one of your friends, dear cousin? Who’s next? Jackson hyung? That’s new. Usually you’re quite reserved when it comes to your love life, but you’re already showing him off.” Yugyeom added playfully, but this time, Jinyoung’s expression darkened. A wave of anxiety washed over him as the youngster mentioned the Chinese’s name. Even his hard on was gone now. He let the pillow that covered the front of his pants fall on the floor as he took a deep breath.

“You cannot, and you will not say anything to Jackson, you hear me Kim Yugyeom?” The author stated seriously, giving his cousin a threatening look.

“Relax, I won’t.” The youngster said quickly, a bit taken aback by his cousin’s request and tone. Yugyeom knew that Jackson was practically family, and that he always respected Jinyoung’s choices. He wondered why his involvement with Mark should be kept as a secret, after all, even though the former bartender was American, Jackson wasn’t the judging type. Yugyeom was sure that the Chinese would support that relationship, but he decided to honor his cousin’s request for now. “You travelled all the way to America to meet the love of your life, you decide when to tell that to the whole world. I’m just glad I’m the first to know.” The youngster added, giving him a sympathetic smile. Jinyoung immediately remembered that he had told his cousin at the hotel back in LA, that he would reveal to him why they were in the U.S if the youngster told him what Bambam knew about Cameron Zhou. The writer was glad Yugyeom misunderstood his words in a quite romantic way. However, Jinyoung wasn’t interested in Cameron, nor in Daniel, or in phase 2 now. Whatever truth he needed to hear, he’d rather hear from Mark’s mouth later. Much later, of course, after he had the chance to ravish that mouth a bit more.

“Go back to Bambam and give us some privacy, will you?” The author sighed and his cousin finally relented.

“Sorry to disturb. It won’t happen again.” Yugyeom said, but before he disappeared from the author’s door, he added playfully, “Go get him, tiger.”

Jinyoung couldn’t help but chuckle as he closed the door and locked it. As soon as he did it, Mark got out of the bathroom, without a boner, fully clothed and hair dried. The writer was then disappointed. Apparently, his dongsaeng had indeed ruined the mood. He internally cursed Yugyeom for making the American take care of his own pleasure inside that bedroom. Swallowing all that Mark could offer him wasn’t a chapter the younger planned to skip.

“This dinner tonight, will your partner be here?” Mark asked a bit too serious, as he folded his arms across his chest. The Korean knew then that he had overheard his little chat with Yugyeom about Youngjae’s call. He understood the American’s apprehension, and the last thing he wanted now was to scare the older, so he decided to tell him about his Chinese friend, and let the older know that he would be safe in his apartment.

“Stop saying partner. You make it sound like we’re part of a criminal organization or something. He’s name is Jackson Wang, he was SooYoung’s fiancé. And no, he’s not coming. He has business in Hong Kong. When the time comes, we’re gonna talk to him together, you and I. You’ll say to him what you said to me, that you never hurt her. Everything will be all right. No one will harm you, I won’t allow it.” The author stated, as he walked in Mark’s direction and reached for his hand. He felt rejected when the American shied away from him. Most of what he said was simply wishful thinking, but he thought that Mark needed at least that shallow reassurance now.

“Oh, the fiancé! I remember you mentioned him. I wonder what he has in store for me.” Mark commented a bit pensive. Then he eyed the author with uncertainty. “You are not even sure if somebody followed us and informed him that we’re already in Seoul, right? Were you really joking when you said that there is a plan B, and that someone else is coming for me?” The older asked as he sat on the bed. Jinyoung didn’t dare to mention the detestable drug dealer. He couldn’t tell how bad the older would react if he knew that Jackson was paying Daniel to work for him. How could Jinyoung have a friend that negotiated with the likes of that guy? What would the American think of him once he found out about their connection? The author concluded that it would be better to keep that information to himself.

“Look, this stupid revenge is over. I came up with it, I started it, so I say when it’s time to abandon it. Forget about plan B, it’s irrelevant now. I brought you to Korea, I made it happen. Jackson will listen to what you have to say, and he will back off.” Jinyoung insisted, praying silently that such a miracle could be possible.

“What about when you hear what I have to say?! You don’t know shit, and you’re just assuming that you’ll both be satisfied with my version of the story when the time comes!” Mark raised his voice a little, as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. “What if you both decide that what I tell you is not good enough? Will you help him kill me? Will you still look after Bambam when I’m gone?”

“You’re talking nonsense. You said you didn’t hurt her, and that’s enough for me.” Jinyoung said firmly as he slowly approached the edge of the bed and stared intensely at him. “You didn’t lie to me, did you?”

“No. But you still should listen to what I have to say before you take me to him. Let’s clear things up now! Your sister-”

“Don’t.” Jinyoung cut him off and pushed him to the bed. He climbed on top of Mark and leaned on him to kiss his lips, but the American turned his head to side.

“Think of what you’re doing. I don’t wanna make you bleed.” Mark declared more figuratively than literally.

“I won’t bleed, Markie. Not this time. And neither will you when you let me be inside you. I will be gentle.” He said as he grind his hips against the older.

“So you’d rather fuck me, than talk to me! Why am I not surprised! You can’t help yourself, can you? After all, you have a hell of a skilful slut on your bed! Why listen to me when my mouth can be used for purposes that are more pleasurable? Do you still intend to tell Dan how reasonably well my performance is in bed? Are you gonna leave money on the pillow after you’re done having your fun with me? Perhaps pay the double of my price?!” Mark spat, and the Korean immediately gasped and withdrew himself from him.

“That’s not fair. Why do you have to bring this up now? I didn’t mean what I said back then.” The younger protested, averting his eyes from him.

“You did. And I understand why you did it. You were hurt and you wanted to hurt me back. You felt remorseful after we had sex because you thought that you had dishonored SooYoung’s memory somehow. I don’t want to see you like that again.” Mark said in a softer tone, still lying on his back. He had no intention of meeting the younger’s eyes either.

“Okay. You’re right. Finish your account of the story then. Tell me about Zhou. What did he do when he found you with my sister?” The Korean faced him and folded his arms across his chest.

“I wanna see her suicide note first. Then I’ll answer your question.” Mark stated as he sat up on the bed.

“Why?” Jinyoung frowned at the request.

“It was addressed to me. Let me read it.” The American replied, as he crossed his legs and assumed a more serious stance.

“No. you tell me the truth, and I show you the note. How about that?” The author suggested, and the older agreed with a nod.

"Don’t you wanna take a sit?" Mark said as he offered a spot on the bed beside him. The Korean shook his head and remained where he was. He wouldn’t be able to focus on the story if he got too close to the American again.

"So, you met her at a party, you gave her some drug, she had a bad trip, and then you took her to your dorm room. Cameron Zhou found you two. Go on." The younger motioned for him to resume his version of the events that led to his sister’s passing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for the 'truth'?


	15. Soo Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's loss and regret and misery and yearning that drive the story forward, along its twisted road.”  
> ― Margaret Atwood

"Yeah. That's right. She was passed out on my bed, and he just wouldn't let me explain what had happened at the party. He hit me and called me names. He just assumed that there was something going on between us. I begged him to listen, but he refused to and just left.” Mark kept his eyes on the floor, as if looking at Jinyoung would be too distracting.

“He hit you?!” The Korean wanted to make sure he had heard it right.

“He used to do that a lot.” Mark mumbled in a disheartened tone. The author winced at the answer, but he wasn’t going to start judging Mark now. He wanted to know more about Cameron Zhou and his possible role on Soo Young’s suicide.

"And then what?" The attentive younger pressed, trying to ignore the millions of questions that lined up in his head. Why would the American put up with such an abusive guy? How did they meet? When? Jinyoung yearned to know more about that man’s influence on the older’s life, but that shouldn’t be his priority now.

"Your sister woke up the next day on my bed and she thanked me for looking after her. She insisted that she would treat me for lunch someday as a way to repay me for helping her at the party. She called me a good-hearted drug dealer, and we exchanged numbers. As for Cam, he ignored me for 2 weeks. I tried to call him, but he wouldn't answer. I was used to his inconstancies, and disappearing acts, but I was actually worried by the fact that he thought I was cheating on him."

"So, you two were dating?" The Korean was burning with curiosity now.

"No. Just fucking, but still...Cam and I had a very complicated relationship. I’m not even sure if I could call that a relationship, but, anyways… Let's focus on SooYoung for now, shall we?" Mark suggested, though he still kept his head low.

"Of course." Jinyoung unwillingly agreed.

"I was really stressed out because Cam wouldn't show up. Some kids on campus were already pestering me, because they wanted to buy more drugs and I had nothing on me. I almost drove myself crazy trying to convince them that my supplier had run a bit late on the weekly delivery. I would skip classes, I would skip meals, I wouldn't leave my room, and I would just sit in on the floor of my dorm, waiting for his call. I kinda missed him."

"Wouldn't you be better off without him?" The Korean asked in a disapproving tone, but Mark wouldn’t even lift up his head to meet his gaze.

"No. I was emotionally tied to him at first. Only later, our lives became even more entwined. For you to understand how messy things were, you must know a little bit about my family’s background. I used to be ashamed to talk about that, but not anymore. The truth is that family's successful business was only possible because my uncle secretly borrowed money from some loan sharks. While my parents got rich, my uncle isolated himself from the rest of the family and struggled to find ways to pay the debt he had acquired. Cameron Zhou worked for those loan sharks, and he had to make sure my uncle paid his debt. He went after me with a purpose."

"I don't understand! If the business of your family was flourishing, why couldn't they just pay the money that was lent to them?" Jinyoung was more than interested in that little backstory.

"My uncle became good at whatever he was doing in Downtown LA. The loan sharks didn't want their money back, another form of payment was demanded from the old man. They wanted his services. _777 Ways_ was a drug delivery destination, and also where many other illegal transactions took place. When they put him in charge of the bar, he was supposed to make sure that the business looked legit. Cops could never suspect what was really going on there. Uncle made sure of it, and he was the perfect bar owner. Patrons loved him, whether they were criminals or just regular people."

"So you abandoned your family and your studies to follow in his footsteps!? Jesus Christ, it was not your debt to pay. Why did you have to get involved?" The author couldn’t conceive the unfairness of that plot.

"I couldn't keep living that make-believe suburban life while a relative of mine had to work his ass off to pay my parents' debts. But that wasn't the only reason. I didn't have a choice, no one gave me one. At least that's what I thought at the time." The American’s voice almost fainted.

"How did you find out about your uncle? When did you start living with him?" Jinyoung asked, already putting his sister’s affairs aside to understand that shadowy chapter of the older’s life.

"To answer those questions of yours I ought to open a parenthesis that might take a lot of time to close, and I’ll also have to rewind the story a bit.” Mark warned the Korean.

“I have time, Mark. I want to know everything.” Jinyoung didn’t want to be kept in the dark anymore. He was ready to hear every single detail about the American’s life that had escaped Jackson’s P.I.’s.

“All right then.” Mark sighed, and then took a deep breath. “Cameron Zhou was the reason of my downfall. I would know nothing about the Tuans’ debt if it wasn’t for him. Though Cam was only 24, he was stonyhearted, very handsome and assertive. Besides drug dealing, he used to beat people up for a living. At that time, he just had to keep an eye on my uncle and supervise all the transactions at the bar. For some reason he suspected that my uncle was providing information about everything that happened at 777 Ways to some cop. Then he decided to intimidate the old man a bit. That’s why he came for me. But I knew nothing about the real Cam when he started stalking me. He showed up in every fraternity party I attended. If I went to the library to study, he was there. If I walked down the halls of university, he was also there. He seemed to be everywhere I went. He wanted me to notice him, and it didn't take long for that to happen. I even thought he was a college student too, but later I found out he was there on a mission."

"Did he kidnap you or something?" The Korean was totally enthralled by the narrative, even though he already knew it didn’t have a happy ending.

"No. Cameron knew that if a rich kid like me disappeared, authorities would start looking for me. He was smarter than that. He was aware that my uncle’s estranged family knew nothing about the debt. He didn’t force me to go with him anywhere at first. But in a way or another, Cam was the one who lured me to that nasty neighborhood. He randomly approached me at a particular party and offered me some weed. I rejected it. Then he offered me a beer, and I reject it too. The music was too loud, people were starting to puke on the floor, and I was not in the mood for my friends' stupid drinking games. I was about to leave the party when Cam approached me again. He asked me if I wanted to go to one of the upstairs bedrooms, and this time, I didn't reject him. Everything happened too fast and I ended up sleeping with him that night. He disappeared after he came inside me. I’ll never forget that night." Mark said and paused for a second. He could feel Jinyoung’s eyes boring into him. But he wouldn’t lift up his head up to meet his gaze. His bangs partially covered his face in that position, making impossible for the younger to read his expression at that moment. The author wished he was able to perceive all the possible underlying connotations of his words, yet, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it even if he was looking directly into the older’s impenetrable eyes.

"Did he force himself on you or-"

"Everything was consensual. I wanted him. And the fact that someone as attractive as him was giving me so much attention, made me feel quite enthusiastic. I had slept with guys and girls before, but for some unknown reason, he was special. He became one of the most exciting things that happened to me during my first semester at college. I had no idea where he lived, nor what he did for a living. He was very secretive and I liked that about him. I was almost 19, and I should know better than to get involved with a stranger I knew nothing about. He would show up out of nowhere, drag me to his car, and take me to all kinds of places. He showed me sceneries quite different from the ones I was used to in the suburbs. Other times he would offer my roommate some dope just to make him leave the room and we could fuck."

"He offered you drugs at a party, and he even gave some to your roommate! How come you didn't know you were fucking a drug dealer?" Jinyoung was baffled.

"Well, I thought he just used that shit for his own consumption. I only found out he was dealing after a couple of months. One day after class, I came to my room and found him with some senior students. He had a fucking pharmacy bag with him. All kinds of shit inside it. They paid him and left. When I questioned him about what he was doing, he slapped me and told me to keep my mouth shut. It was the first time he raised his hand against me. I was so shocked by the fact that he did it, that I couldn't stop crying and screaming at him. I remember he pushed me against the wall, put a hand on my mouth and injected something in my arm to calm me down. Then we fucked, and he left me."

"Why didn't you call the police?" Jinyoung was appalled.

"I liked him." Mark said simply.

"You couldn't-"

"I was too naive. I know now that what I felt was nothing like love, but it was too hard to realize this back then. He showed up again after a few days, he said that he didn’t mean to hurt me, and asked me to forgive him. He explained to me that his ‘job’ wouldn’t compromise what we had. Then he gave me a package and told me to keep it safe. I didn't ask why or what was in it. I just did what he wanted me to do because I needed him to trust me, and I wanted to make him happy. I didn't want to see him that angry again. I didn't want to have to explain my friends at college where I had gotten those bruises on my face." Mark swallowed and seemed to struggle to keep his voice from wavering. The Korean grimaced. He wondered what he would have done if he were in Mark’s shoes. Would he let himself be manipulated like that in the name of love?

"Mark..." Jinyoung wished he could say more, but the older didn’t give him much time to formulate his sentence.

"I started skipping classes, and it didn't take long for me to start dealing drugs for real. Cameron was the loyal supplier, and he would tell me where to go, even out of campus. Some guys at college would follow me around, and even show up at the dorm during the night, and they wouldn’t leave until they got the freaking kind of drug they wanted, even when they couldn’t pay for it. Cam often took care of that kind of issue, but I started getting paranoid about it. My phone kept ringing all the time, and I often worried about the fact that someday the law would kick my door in. I was aware that the police could search my dorm room with no warrant if they got tipped off by an upset customer. However, I kept telling myself that I was doing it form Cam, so it was worth it. For him, I would sell any lethal shit to anyone who was willing to pay."

"Soo Young." The Korean leaned against a wall and sighed. The very name of his sister left a bad taste in his mouth. To think that his sweet sister was somehow involved in that web of violence… It made his heart ache.

"Yes. The second time I saw her, she only wanted to buy me lunch though. She was nice and she reminded me of my sister. We had a great time during lunch, so we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet each other again. As a matter of fact, we started seeing each other a lot. We started smoking pot together regularly. At some point, I told her she didn’t have to pay me for the drugs anymore. Her soothing company was enough. I was lonely and so was she. Soon I found out we had a lot in common. We both struggled to do stuff to please other people. We bonded pretty fast. She told me about her life in Seoul. She said she was in the U.S because her little brother told her to chase her dreams. And when she realized how many doors America could open for her, she didn’t feel like leaving. She also told me she had someone waiting for her back home. She said he had great plans for them, like marrying, having kids and building a life together. But she wasn't sure if she liked his plans. She wanted to have a career, be independent, and she didn't want to be a mother."

"I didn't know she had doubts about the engagement." The distraught Korean whispered quietly as he pondered those words. He couldn’t help but wonder why his sister never voiced her desire to be single, or to live abroad.

"She knew her family would be happy with it, and her fiancé’s family would be even more satisfied. But she also knew that her master's degree, her PHD, and all the working experience she had acquired previously would be put aside once she became a wife. According to SooYoung, in Korea a wife is supposed to care for her husband, her children and in-laws. She told me she had seen what had become of her well-educated female friends back home after they were pressured to have husband and children. She said she would never fit the passive, bubbly and childlike pattern. She said she would rather die than become something she was not meant to be. That's why she was terrified of going back home."

"How come she never told me any of this? I thought that getting married to Jack was her priority! I thought she loved him." Jinyoung protested, unable to accept the fact that his sister suffered in silence.

"I guess she loved him, but giving up on her aspirations just to get married to him was a complete different story." Mark stated as he finally lifted up his head and gave the younger a sympathetic look.

"I can't believe this." Jinyoung retorted, hating the pity etched on the older’s face. He wondered why whenever Mark started telling him a story, his emotions became so easy to read. Those cinnamon eyes were clearly alive now, perhaps more alive than ever. Guilt, shame, and pain were all there.

"She told me a Korean man would never understand it." The older said in a sad tone.

"But an American would?!" The author raised his voice, and the other shrugged helplessly.

"Well, she opened up to me. And yeah, I did understand her. I ended up sharing some of my burdens with her too. I told her how my college life was chaotic, how I lived in panic, how a single guy could make me feel so contented, and at the same time, turn my days into constant train wrecks. I also confided in her about how worried I would get whenever Cam took too long to answer my calls. I explained to her how frightened I was whenever he would tell me he had to meet ‘the boss’, or when he was about to meet a new costumer. I described to her how I always wondered if he had been stopped by police, or if other drug dealers had done something bad to him. I told her that I knew he could handle himself, but I just couldn’t help agonizing over all those dreadful doubts. Soo Young seemed to have a formula to fix everything. But it was easier said than done. She advised me to go get rid of the drugs I had in the dorm, go back to my classes and forget about Cameron. She was a good friend, and she cared about my well-being. She even told me to call the police if he ever showed up at the university again."

"And I bet he did show up." A frustrated Jinyoung said, trying to control all the emotions that built up inside him. There was nothing he could do to change that story. It had already happened in the past, and he couldn’t go back in time to save his sister, or Mark. They were both already lost somehow.

"Yeah. And you would never imagine how happy I was to see him again. SooYoung eventually saw us together and threatened to call the authorities. She stood up to me, and told him to stay away. Can you believe that? Your sister was a very strong and courageous woman, but she and I had no idea of how dangerous he was. She threatened to call the campus security. He backed off, and I got mad at her eventually." The American let out a deep sigh.

"She was trying to help you." Jinyoung felt his eyes water. He knew the kind of woman his sister was and it pained him to realize how he missed that powerful being in his life.

"I know. Like I said, we became friends quite fast. We told stuff to each other that we would never say to our own family. She wanted to save me because she had no idea of what to do to save herself."

"Maybe she just wanted you to be happy." Jinyoung quickly wiped a tear that escaped from the corner of his eye.

"Well, apparently, SooYoung wanted more than that. She wanted to be the one who made me happy. The truth is, I had no idea she was falling for me. One night we had a heated argument because her fiancé was coming from Korea to visit her in the U.S.. She wanted me to accompany her to the airport. She planned to break off their engagement because of me. She wanted to introduce me to her fiancé as her new boyfriend. I thought she was completely mad. Of course I refused to go meet the guy. I told her she was wrong about us. I told her that I had nothing to do with her decision, and that I did not love her." Mark stated, with a guilty look on his face.

"That was harsh." The author pursed his lips. Suddenly it was easy to realize why Soo Young fell for the American. Forlorn, beautiful and defenseless as he was? Jinyoung always thought that his sister had some kind of savior complex. She constantly spent too much energy trying to fix other people’s problem. He figured that when she came across a problematic college student who had had more than his fair share of troubles in life, it must’ve been impossible for her not to feel drawn to him. Mark was in an abusive relationship with a drug dealer. Being involved with a criminal, and also becoming one could get him killed. The author concluded that his sister saw him as a tough repair project with great potential. He imagined that she probably felt attracted by the American’s vulnerability, and was compelled to rescue him from distress. He felt bad for not being there to tell her that there was nothing she could do to save Mark. He regretted not being there to help Soo Young address her own issues, and provide her his support. He felt worse for not noticing that she couldn’t be strong all the time.

"It was necessary. She was like a big sister to me, and I never led her on. Plus, I wanted her to leave me alone so I could be with Cameron. I was completely blind at the time, I made excuses for him and I defended his actions when she warned me that he would be the death of me. I told myself that I’d rather lose a friend than lose him. I kept telling myself that it was okay when it wasn’t." Mark confessed, hoping the younger could understand his position, and his troubled mindset back then.

"What happened then?" The Korean seemed a bit vexed now.

"She left my dorm, after telling me to be happy with my drug dealer lover. As soon as she was out of my sight, I texted Cameron, and he came to pick me up. He took me to 777 Ways, where I met my estranged uncle. I didn't know who was the old man at first, but Cam introduced us. You see, I had only seen some rare pictures of my uncle in old family albums and I was still a child when he cut ties with my father. I was unable to recognize him. But he immediately realized who I was. Uncle got angry and told Cameron to take me back to wherever he had found me."

"Maybe your uncle wasn't that bad after all." Jinyoung commented bitterly.

"Well, the things is, I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Someone was shot in the bar. I saw everything, even the shooter's face. Cameron had brought me there when the place was still 'closed for inventory'. 777 Ways had special hours, only for special costumers, you see. Unfortunately, some serious transaction was going on while I was there, and it ended up bad."

"Oh my God. You must've been terrified!" The author exclaimed, fearing what he was going to hear next. He could guess that some sort of tragedy must’ve happened after the older witnessed that crime.

"I was. Someone shouted at my uncle for letting a stranger enter the bar at that hour. A Japanese guy pulled a gun at me. Cameron pulled a gun at the guy. A lot of words were exchanged between my uncle and two other Asians in a language that I could not understand. At that moment, I just couldn't take my eyes off the dead guy on the floor." Mark’s expression darkened while he recalled that particular scene of those tempestuous days.

"Did they hurt you?" Jinyoung’s voice was full of worry now, as he approached the bed where the other was sitting.

"They wanted to kill me right there, so my uncle had no other choice but to tell them I was his nephew. For some reason the word 'family' meant something to those thugs. After some more arguing they left and took the body with them. Only later I found out that my uncle had agreed to work for the 'owner' of the neighborhood on condition that no member of his family would be harmed."

"They let you live just like that?! You could've left then! Why did you move in with your uncle? I still don’t get it." The writer refused to believe that Mark had escaped that brush with death so easily.

"Uncle told me about the Tuans' debt and how things worked in that place. He also told me that my ordinary life was over after witnessing that crime. He assured me he would keep me alive, but that someone called Ito Hara would want to see me. He was a crude Japanese fuck who controlled everything in that area." Mark’s features looked quite disturbed as he mentioned the man’s name. Jinyoung couldn’t help but make his own assumptions. He immediately remembered Mark’s tale about the Doll Collector. According to the older’s tale, that character was from a Japanese island and had great influence on the doll worshippers.

"This Hara was perhaps, the Doll Collector?" Jinyoung asked tentatively as he kneeled beside the bed and reached for one of Mark’s hands.

"What?! Don't be ridiculous. That was just a fiction, I told you already." The American said defensively and avoided his touch.

"Okay! I suppose you met Hara then?" Jinyoung sighed in frustration, and kept his hands to himself. It was extremely disappointing to see the older in that kind of denial. The fact that Mark still didn’t trust him enough to confide in him his worst nightmares, embittered him. He wondered if Soo Young had gotten the chance to inspect Mark’s soul back then, and gain his fully permission to assimilate all of him. The author could guess that she probably did it, and perhaps she was the only person around that Taiwanese-American college student who was able to read him like the palm of her hand back then. Mark was younger and certainly more emotionally accessible at the time. Now he was older, and the tribulations he had faced throughout the years, the violence he had witnessed, hardened him, making a great chunk of his fragile humanity recoil within himself. At that very moment, Jinyoung decided that as soon as he convinced Jackson to let go of that stupid revenge, he would find the American professional help. The author was convinced that Mark was willingly repressing some unwanted memories as a defense mechanism. In his point of view, keeping everything bottled up was never a good sign. What happened to Soo Young was a proof of that.

"Yeah I did. And after that, things changed. I changed. I stopped working for Cameron and started working with Cameron. Hara quickly put us to work. More supply, more clients, different locations. I was still in college, but I barely showed up there. I didn't even dare to reach for SooYoung. I wouldn't know how to face her. My family became worried because I rarely called them, and never stopped by the house. Uncle told me to stay away from them in order to keep them safe." Mark revealed in a dejected voice.

“Were you and Cameron still sleeping together at the time?” Jinyoung asked, trying his best to make his question sound as casual as possible.

“Once in a while.” Mark replied, and the younger grimaced.

“Did he keep hitting you?” The Korean asked in a worried tone.

“My uncle wouldn’t let him.”

"What about SooYoung? What happened when you saw her again?" The younger eyed him anxiously.

"I eventually saw her at the university library after a couple of weeks. I was waiting for a student that had become quite fond of meth. For some reason he didn't show up, so I approached her. She didn't look well and neither did I. I could tell that something had happened but I didn't know how to ask her about it. I just sat across from her in silent. Then she suddenly started crying. I was too ashamed to tell her about my uncle, the crime I witnessed, or the disgraceful developments of my relationship with Cameron. But I couldn't bear to see her like that. I took her to my room so she could calm down. My roommate was not there and she started kissing me. I told her we were friends and that that kind of thing shouldn't be happening. But she said she was not engaged anymore, and that I was all she had. I just let her touch me then. I was so distraught and I felt so sorry for her that I couldn't deny her anything. So I didn't stop SooYoung when she climbed on top of me and put me inside her." Mark chewed on his lips nervously as Jinyoung stood up again and turned away from him.


	16. Absolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There's the story, then there is the real story, then there is the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too." ~ Margaret Atwood

“So you did have sex with her.” The Korean inhaled and clenched his fists. He knew that all along, Mark never denied it, but hearing about the circumstances in which it happened, made him feel at loss. “I don’t understand. Jackson never told me they had broken off the engagement! I contacted her several times while she was overseas and she never said anything! And you! You were obviously the cause of it. She was depressed and you took advantage of it-”

“I was miserable. And so was she. No one could have saved us from ourselves. And if those brief minutes of pleasure meant so much to her, if my body could give her some sort of consolation, or-”

"Stop!" Jinyoung shouted angrily and turned to him again. “Did you even love her?”

"I loved her as the beautiful human being she was, but not as a lover.” Mark stayed still, even though Jinyoung’s accusatory tone would’ve made someone else flinch. The author shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. Getting mad at the older made no sense now. He wanted the truth, and the American never told him that it would be easy to listen to it, he only said it would be pointless. Now, Jinyoung couldn’t agree with him more, Mark’s narrative only made him feel painfully impotent.

“She must’ve been sad when you dropped out of college. How did she take it?” he asked in a more contained manner. Saddened but a bit more resigned, Jinyoung still wanted to her the end of that story.

“We kept seeing each other even after I left college for good. She understood why I did it. My roommate had overdosed and police started investigating where the drugs had come from. They interrogated me, but I pretended I had nothing to do with it. My parents learned about the incident and took me home. They thought I was using it too and wanted to put me in rehab. Cameron came to the house and introduced himself to my parents as my ‘boyfriend’. I couldn’t believe when I saw him standing in the middle of my living room. My parents were appalled to know that their son was gay, and a junkie. They were ashamed of what I had become. They didn’t stop Cam when he put me in his car, and brought me to live with my uncle in Downtown LA permanently. Last time I texted my father, and I told him that I was learning bartending from his brother, he assumed I was a lost cause, and my mom finally stopped sending me texts. My siblings were warned not to get in touch with me. I didn’t belong to that fancy part of the family anymore.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” The Korean offered him a sympathetic look, but the older rejected it.

“Don’t be. I still had Soo Young. We still met once a week at a Café near the campus. I eventually told her everything that had happened. Including the fact that I had recently sheltered a Thai young kid at my apartment. She told me I should keep him if he was worth saving.” Mark paused, and smiled a bit before he continued. “She told me about what was going on in her life too. Apparently, SooYoung was seeing a therapist, and she claimed that she could finally manage her depression. Her mood had really improved, and according to her, her thesis was going well. She knew I could not leave Cameron, nor my uncle or that lifestyle. She knew no one should know we still kept in contact with each other. We were careful not to be seen together. She was the only bit of normalcy I still had in my life. I had seen people get stabbed, beaten up, shot, killed, and humiliated in my neighborhood, and all that ugliness around me suffocated me. Nevertheless, whenever I drove away from there to meet her, I felt like I could breathe kindness again. It was a refreshing feeling. Ironically, she told me I kept her balanced. We decided to become give it a name to that connection of ours. We officially dated for almost 3 years, but I never loved her the way she loved me.”

“3 years.” Jinyoung repeated the words unconsciously. Then he gave Mark a downhearted smile. “So you cheated at our get-to-know-you game. When we played ‘two truths and a lie’ at the penthouse, you let us assume you didn’t date girls before you realized you were gay.”

“I didn’t cheat at the game. I remember exactly what I said, and I really didn’t date any girl before I realized I was gay. Ironically, I only dated a girl after I was absolutely sure I wasn’t into girls. Soo Young happened after Cameron. We kissed, held hands, and hung out together, but there was nothing sexual about it. We weren’t sleeping together.”

“You became her ‘boyfriend’ out of pity.” Jinyoung squinted his eyes at him.

“And she probably did the same with me. She loved the way I loved her love for me.” Mark scoffed. “By the way, you’re the one who cheated at the game back at the penthouse. You only said truths. You were indeed plotting someone’s death, you had a crush on your editor, and you definitely find me nice looking.” The older gave him a knowing look.

“Finish the story, Mark.” Jinyoung said in a serious tone. He was not going let himself be distracted by that tiny detail now.

“Okay…One day she didn’t show up for one of our regular dates. I obviously got worried and called her several times but she wouldn’t answer my calls. After a week, I received a text from her and she agreed to meet me ‘one last time’. SooYoung was very agitated when I saw her. I had never seen her like that. She told me that she had gotten back together with her ex-fiancé. She said she had to go back home and that her dream was over. I was obviously surprised to hear that, and tremendously sorry for her and for myself. She said that getting married wasn't an option anymore, she told me she was pregnant and that it was the right thing to do. When I mentioned the word abortion, she almost slapped me. I didn't dare to ask her who was the father. I didn't think I had the right to. But she said she was going far away, and that she wanted a farewell gift from me. She took me to a hotel and we had sex for the second and last time. I didn’t even notice when she left the hotel. I had a bad feeling about the way she was acting, so I drove to the university the next day. The police was there. There were several students on campus talking about someone’s suicide. The body of a Korean student was found hanging from the ceiling of a classroom that morning. When I learned it was her, I was devastated." The older sighed, and seemed to struggle to continue talking.

"Do you think Cameron did something to her?" Jinyoung’s anguished expression made Mark feel like the worst criminal in the world.

"He couldn't. He was too busy working for Hara. He didn’t have time to stalk me anymore. He couldn't know that she and I had slept together. We were careful. He would’ve killed me if he found out about it, not her."

"But he was still terrorizing you right?! If Cameron really believed that you had abandoned the life and everyone you had before, why the hell did he try to break into your family's house? I’ve read about that in your file." Jinyoung asked, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Wow, you have a file with my name on it. I almost feel special.” Mark commented, as a faint smirk played on his lips, but when he saw the younger glare at him, he cleared his throat and focused on his narrative. “I wasn't dealing very well with Soo Young's death. I was taking all kinds of drugs to handle the job at the bar. Uncle taught me how things should be managed there, but I didn't know if I could live that kind of life forever. Since Bambam was already in the picture, I worried for him. He was so broken, and hungry when I found him at the back of the bar! He could barely speak. I wanted to save him, you know? He seemed to be getting better and I didn’t want him to get involved with the bar ‘illegal issues’. I didn’t want him to end up more desensitized than he already was. It really freaked me out to think that he could end up worse than me. I told Cameron I intended to run away, and that I was saving money to take Bambam out of that neighborhood. I felt like I had a purpose. I thought that even though I sold stuff that killed people, even though I let dear SooYoung down, I could make sure that Bam would live."

"None of that was your fault." Jinyoung told him softly. He knew that Mark needed to listen to those words at some point. He wished he could make the other understand that he was not a lost cause. The author hoped that Mark could see that he was far from being a villain, or a monster.

"Yes it was. And I’m sorry, Jinyoung. I let a friend down, I let your sister down. I should've understood what she meant when she claimed she was going back to Korea. I should’ve seen the signs. Leaving was not an option for her, just like it wasn’t for me. We had our own private hells. We both had our invisible prisons, and she decided to break out of it in the worst way possible." Mark’s remorseful expression tore the younger’s heart apart.

"You had problems worse than hers, and still, you didn’t choose that kind of escape.” Jinyoung said dejectedly. “Cameron stopped you from leaving with Bambam, right?" Jinyoung felt extremely bad for the older. He wanted to pull him into his arms and comfort him, but he wasn’t sure if the American would want to be touched now.

"He wasn’t happy with my plans. He told me he owned me, and that he was not ready to let me go. He wanted to punish me, for even entertaining the idea of leaving him. Inevitably, he told Hara about my intentions. Then I was sent somewhere else." Mark whispered, as if he wasn’t sure of what he was saying.

"What do you mean?" The Korean frowned at the vagueness in his tone.

"I don't know where I was, or how much time I spent there. Those were strange days. They wanted to keep me in line, make sure I wouldn’t run away from the neighborhood. I can’t recall much of it. I guess I was drugged most of the time." The American seemed confused for a while, as he scratched the nape of his neck.

"Mark..." Jinyoung remembered the file Jackson had sent him even before he landed on America. Mark’s folder had many gaps, but he recalled reading something about Mark disappearing from his uncle’s house for a month. He wondered if that was the period which was erased from the former bartender’s mind.

"Daniel Stravos, the guy who you know as ‘Dan’, broke me out of there, wherever there was. He took me back to my uncle, who was in a very bad condition. The old man was suffering from dementia and Bam was the one who looked after him while I was away. Cameron was running the bar. He seemed to know that I would be back soon from my 'training camp'. Only later, I found out that he had tried to rescue me from Hara’s headquarters more than once, but he hadn't been successful." Mark said in a foreign tone. The author was flabbergasted to hear that the infamous ‘Dan’ was the hero Daniel Stravos who rescued the American from wherever he was sent to.

"What about Hara? He knew where to find you-"

"Died." Mark said emotionlessly.

"Daniel killed him?" The author was shocked.

"I don't know." The older replied quietly.

"Of course you do!" Jinyoung shook his head in frustration.

"I don't remember how I got out of that place, or what happened during my escape. I only managed to be myself again when I walked into the bar and I felt Bam's arms around me. He told me I was safe, and that I would never have to go back to that pandemonium again. My uncle died within weeks, and more than ever, I wanted to run away from that neighborhood. But the bar was solely mine now, and I had Bam by my side. I even stopped taking drugs when he begged me to. Cameron for some reason had become the 'owner' of the neighborhood. He said I shouldn’t hesitate to take over the bar. He promised he would keep the business clean, and that I should run the place how I pleased. But I still wanted to leave and I kinda broke up with him at some point... It was because of him that I ended up in Hara's training camp. I couldn't forgive him for that." The older’s voice was filled with resentment now. The author was baffled by the way his emotions would come and go, as if there was a switch somewhere within him that could turn off and turn on his feelings whenever he wanted to.

"And you're telling me you can't remember anything that happened during this 'training camp'?” The Korean eyed him in disbelief. Mark shrugged.

"Exactly. And to be honest, I'm happy that I don't. I didn’t ask Dan about it either." Mark’s apparent indifference bothered the younger to no end, but Jinyoung still tried to keep his feelings in check.

"Hara was dead, your uncle was dead, and the Tuan’s debt was probably dead too. However, you still stayed in the neighborhood. I assume you took over the bar because Cameron forced you to. Did he threaten Bambam’s life or something?"

"It was worse than that. One day Bam and I were packed and ready to say goodbye to that place, but Cameron came out of nowhere, pushed me inside his car and drove me to the suburbs. I knew what he intended to do. He was taking me to my parents' house. He was going to kill them right in front of me. He had threatened to do that once. I knew what he was capable of. But he didn’t know that I had learned to predict his actions too well. While we were in the car, I secretly texted my brother without him noticing it. My message was brief, I just typed, 'call 911, someone is about to break into the house'. Before Cameron reached the fucking porch, the cops showed up. They are always ready to serve and protect the fancy parts of the city, you see. As soon as I saw the police car, I panicked and tried to run away. One of the cops saw me and claimed that he would shoot if I didn't stop running. So Cameron shot him first, then another cop fired at him, and I escaped." Mark said that with a victorious smile on his lips.

"Of all the crimes Zhou committed, he ended up in prison for shooting someone who was going to shoot you." Jinyoung commented, obviously taken aback by the turn of events. The writer couldn’t help but think that Jackson’s private investigators were indeed unreliable. That extensive information they had collected about the American was full of half-truths.

"That's right. He could've had escaped if he had left me behind, but he didn't. The funny thing is that even though he’s the one locked up, I’m still his captive. He became even more powerful when he went to prison. He ruled the neighborhood from there. He had cellphones and drugs at his disposal. He made alliances with other gangs, and expanded his influence. Now I'm supposed to visit him once a month. That’s all he wants from me now. I must do that in order to keep my family and my best friend safe. Daniel is supposed to look after me and Bam while Cam is doing time." Mark groaned wearily.

"Does Zhou know what Daniel has been doing to you?" Jinyoung couldn’t bear the unfairness of that story.

"Do you expect me to tell Cameron about something like that? He trusts Dan and he would probably assume that I tried to seduce the guy. He would never believe me. Eventually, he would tell Dan to beat the shit out of me just to teach me a lesson. You don’t know how he’s like." Mark gave him a defeated look and crossed his arms.

"Does he know you're in Korea? What about the monthly visits? What about your parents’ safety?" Jinyoung eyed him with alarm.

"He knows where I am. I called him. It seems Daniel indeed stopped by the prison and told him about what happened to the bar and the graffiti on the door of my apartment. They have no idea who did it, but Cam said he would be looking into it. He said it's okay for me to be out of the country for a while. At least until they find out the culprit. They suspect of minor gangs, so Cameron put Daniel in charge of this little operation."

"He put the wrong guy in charge. Has Cameron talked to him after the penthouse incident?" Jinyoung started pacing around the room nervously.

"You tell me, you broke a vase on the guy’s head, remember?" Mark raised his eyebrows at him.

"Mark, don't start playing games now." He warned the American. The latter clicked his tongue.

"Cameron didn't say anything about the penthouse on the phone. I don't think Dan contacted him after you left him for dead. I bet Cameron doesn't even know about you, your revenge plan, or the fact that we travelled together. For all he knows, I'm just in some sort of vacation with Bambam for our own protection." Mark declared in a confident tone.

"Daniel is not working for Cameron." Jinyoung said at once as he stopped pacing around the room and fixed his eyes on the other.

"To be honest, I always had the impression that Daniel Stravos always worked for himself. He’s often on the winning side, and he gets away with a lot of things. Do you happen to know something that I don't?" Mark eyed the younger suspiciously.

"Well, I know as much as you do. He wasn't following his boss orders. He didn't keep you and Bambam safe. He was abusing you." Jinyoung replied quickly, still wondering how the hell Jackson had connections with that scum.

"Where is he by the way, Jinyoung? Did your partner, the one who you claim to be SooYoung's fiancé, really clean up the mess you left at the penthouse? How did he manage to get rid of Dan?" The older’s suspicion seemed to increase even more as he eyed Jinyoung’s unsettled expression.

"It's not like you're gonna miss the guy, right?" The Korean asked briskly.

"No. I don't think so." Mark huffed and looked away. A long silence followed, until the younger’s voice drew the American’s attention to him again.

"My God, I travelled all the way to America for a revenge! And here we are. I guess I'll never know who was the father of SooYoung’s child." Jinyoung commented sorrowfully.

"Why don't you ask the fiancé? He went to visit her in America. He stayed with her for a while. Maybe the answer has always been right in front of you. Perhaps he only wants me dead because she told him there was something going on between us. Maybe, he's still sore because she broke off their engagement to be with me. He certainly wasn't happy with the news! Think about it! Maybe there was never a reconcilement. Maybe she refused to go back to him, and she rejected his efforts to get back together. How badly did he react? Was he violent? Was he able to cope with the fact that she was in love with another man? He must have been so mad! He was probably the one who told her to off herself! He might've been the one who drove her to commit suicide. There's the killer you've been looking for, Jinyoung!" The vehemence in Mark’s voice scared the author. That very possibility never crossed his mind.

"No! That's not Seunnah! He would never hurt my sister." He argued, unable to digest that ludicrous hypothesis. He wished the American had never said that.

"Are you sure? Well, next time you see your former brother-in-law, ask him about the baby. Then look deep into his deep brown eyes to find your answer." The American stated with a confidence that surprised the younger.

"How do you know his eyes are brown?" The author eyed him quizzically.

"Most Chinese people I know have this eye color." Mark said quickly.

"Really?" Jinyoung frowned at him.

"SooYoung also showed me a picture of him. He's quite handsome." Mark commented casually.

"You only saw a picture of him and you couldn't forget about his 'deep brown eyes'?" The Korean still didn't look convinced.

"Don’t be jealous. If it makes you feel better, I think your eyes look nicer." Mark grinned at him, but the younger looked away embarrassedly.

"Nah, you don't have to make me feel better. He does look gorgeous. But he's straight as an arrow. I can assure you of that. Admiring his eyes won’t get you anywhere." Jinyoung stated in a serious tone.

"Wait a minute, you don't think I'm thinking of hooking up with the guy that's trying to kill me, do you?" The American gave him a look of disbelief.

"It wouldn't be the first time." Jinyoung whispered, as he reminded Mark that he had pulled a trigger once.

"You didn't want me dead." Mark argued.

"I did. For the wrong reasons, but I did." He said remorsefully.

"You still do?" Mark asked simply.

"No." The younger replied firmly.

"Then what's stopping you?" The American gave him a provocative look.

"From what?" The Korean looked clueless.

"Resuming what we were doing before Brownie interrupted us?" Mark smirked at him.

"I don't want you to think I see you as a whore or-"

"I know that. You’re not that nasty kind of guy. You're different from those who takes pleasure in other’s pain. I can see that. You say things you don't mean, like a character who is forced to behave a certain way because the plot demands that of him." Mark cut him off and walked up to him.

"Then I feel like an asshole afterwards." The younger added, as he watched the other come closer to him.

"How do you see me, Jinyoung?" He asked as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Beats me. The truth is, I really don't know how to put it into words." The author replied honestly.

"Try." The older insisted, as his hand moved down to the Korean's chest.

"You are okay." Jinyoung muttered, unable to find a precise adjective to the man before him. He thought that there was no word in the English dictionary to describe that man yet, and the hand on his chest was too distracting.

"Just okay?!" Mark chuckled removing his hand from him. "Wow, that really hurts my ego. You could do better than that Mr. Bestselling writer."

"I probably could. But then I'd have to see more of you." Jinyoung grabbed his arm and pulled him to him. Something flickered in the older's eyes. The author easily read that spark in those cinnamon orbs. He had seen it before Yugyeom interrupted them earlier, and he had a name for it, lust. Jinyoung knew that nothing could stop them now.


	17. Deliverance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Touch comes before sight, before speech. It's the first language and the last, and it will always tell the truth." ~ Margaret Atwood

"What about the editor? Do you think he's okay too?" Mark asked softly, as he felt the Korean's arms circle his waist and his hands stroke his buttocks. He bit his lower lip as the Korean grinded against him.

"You're okayer." Jinyoung tightened his hold on the American and nuzzled his neck. Mark's buried his hands in his silky dark hair and slowly massaged the scalp.

"Are you really a writer? You made that up. I don't think this word even exists." Mark said, suppressing a moan. Jinyoung was already nibbling on his neck and he could barely control his desire for him.

"My English is poor." Jinyoung whispered in his ear, making all the hairs of his body stand on end.

"Tell me how you see me in Korean then." Mark suggested, grinding his hips against his. The younger moaned loudly.

"예뻐."

"What is that, Jinyoungie?" Mark groaned.

"You." The Korean whispered again, then released the flesh of his neck just to capture his lips in a single motion. The kiss deepened quickly. Mark was already unbuttoning Jinyoung's shirt while the Korean slipped his hands under his sweatpants.

"Do you have lube?" The panting American asked, as he abandoned the half-open shirt and struggled to unfasten the younger's belt. They both seemed too eager to get naked at once.

"Yes." Jinyoung replied hurriedly, as he pulled down Mark's pants and underwear, and carried him to the bed. His domineering demeanor excited the older.

"Do you wanna be on top?" Mark asked as soon as his back hit the mattress.

"Absolutely." Jinyoung said as he quickly got rid of his unbuttoned shirt revealing his toned body to the older. Mark's hands were all over his abs and nipples. Jinyoung removed Mark's pants and underwear that were still restraining his ankles, while the American removed his hoodie. Soon the older was laying completely naked under the Korean, rubbing his feet against his butt. 

"Do you even know what you're doing?" Mark asked a bit uncertain, while the other positioned himself between his legs and spread kisses all over his thighs.

"I'm a top, Mark. I've always been a top." Jinyoung declared proudly, smirking at the surprise in the other's features. He lifted Mark's waist a bit and instructed him to put a pillow under his hips. "I know some common tricks to make penetration less painful and more pleasurable to my partner."

"I'm sorry for being a lousy top. I didn't mean to tear-"

"Shhh, don't ruin the mood." Jinyoung cut him off and gave him a kiss.

"You're hot as a top too." Mark commented as he observed the younger finally remove his belt, and take off his own pants and boxers. He became a bit anxious as he watched the author in all his naked glory walk to the to the nightstand and take a bottle of lube out of a drawer. It had been a while since he bottomed for someone he really wanted to. He licked his lips as he eyed the younger's backside, and he couldn't help but release a moan when the other returned to bed and his gorgeous erection brushed against his inner thighs.

"You're hotter in every single way." Jinyoung confessed as he started to prepare him. After giving his ass some licks he reached for the bottle of lube on the bed. Mark sighed in frustration as he watched the younger's patience. The American wasn't used to so much care. They would often take him from behind without notice, without tenderness, without pity or any kind of respect. They were always rough and merciless. None of them were like Jinyoung. "This might feel a bit cold." The author warned, as he introduced a lubed finger in the American's entrance. Mark tensed a bit at first, but when Jinyoung started stroking his dick, and whispered a few Korean words that sounded too sexy coming from his lips, he relaxed. He spread his legs wider as Jinyoung fingered him. He felt more lube invade him with a second finger that scissored and thoroughly stretched his hole. Soon the Korean's fingers found the older's sweet spot and Mark couldn't help but moan louder, as his whole body quivered with pleasure. He couldn't remember a time that a guy pleasured him like that.

"Don't stop." He whined when the author took his fingers out of him.

"Are you ready for me then?" Jinyoung asked as he started to coat his hard dick with lube. Mark faintly nodded to him and waited for the stabbing pain he usually felt when other men fucked him. He closed his eyes and swallowed. Then he felt Jinyoung's kisses on his face and his eyes opened again. The Korean gazed into his eyes intensely. Only then the younger started to slowly push himself inside him. Mark bit his lips, and braced himself, but the searing pain never came. "Can I move?" Jinyoung whispered in his ear when he had fully buried himself inside Mark.

"Y-yes." The older whispered. Then the Korean started thrusting into him. The American felt like screaming with pleasure, but he bit his lips as much as he could in order not to make a sound. Jinyoung was drowning himself in the sensation of being inside Mark, but he noticed how the other went quiet. Too quiet. Although his expression showed how much he was enjoying what they were doing, Mark wouldn’t utter a single noise that could match the delight in his features and the delicious hip movements he was making as he met the younger’s pounding.

“What is it?” The Korean asked, as he brushed his lips against the American’s and stroked his erection. Mark simply shook his head, signaling him that nothing was wrong, and pulled him for a sloppy kiss. Jinyoung felt the taste of blood in it. Only then he realized Mark had bit his own tongue. He lifted his head to examine the American’s face better, but Mark gripped the sheets surrounding them between his fingers and covered his face. The younger stopped his thrusts and worriedly eyed the sheet pressed on the other’s face. “Mark, stop this. Take it off.” Jinyoung whispered as he tried to uncover the American’s face but the latter’s hand squeezed the fabric tightly against his face. Jinyoung begged him to show him his face, but the other ignored his request again. Suddenly his body went limp under the Korean. The legs that were once firmly wrapped around Jinyoung’s waist, lost their strength, and even the hand, which pressed the sheet against the older’s face, fell lazily on the bed. The younger panicked as he removed the fabric from his face and met his glassy stare. Mark was gone. Just like he was ‘absent’ in Daniel’s lap at the penthouse. Even his breathing was reduced to almost nothing. His chest just faintly moved up and down. He wouldn’t blink, nor move. He wouldn’t utter a sound. He looked like a corpse. “Mark, for Christ’s sake, say something.” Jinyoung held both sides of his face and tried to get him to wake up, giving him gentle slaps on his cheek. “Fucking move!”, he said louder as he slapped Mark’s jaw a bit harder. Instantaneously, the older reacted to that command, and he indeed came ‘back to life’’. He blinked a couple of times and started pulling Jinyoung to him again. Now he was moaning freely and energycally moving under the younger. The muscles of his anus mercilessly clenched around the Korean’s dick. The pressure around the author’s length, made him focus on the sensation on his lower parts, and avoid asking Mark what had happened seconds ago.

“Make me cum, Nyoungie. Fuck your doll senseless.” Mark whispered in a sultry voice a he brought one of Jinyoung’s hands to his neglected hard on. The Korean could barely concentrate on how those words came out. He just focused on the meaning of them and he gave Mark what he asked. He lifted both his legs over his shoulder and impaled him deeper, faster and rougher. That’s how the American liked it. The older screamed in pleasure as Jinyoung pumped his dick faster and rammed his thick dick inside his hole. He knew he would be coming very soon. But then the panting Korean slowed the pace, removed on of his legs from his shoulder, leaned more closer to the older’s face, and squeezed his dick, keeping him from reaching his peak too soon.

“We can do it gently too. We’re not in a hurry. We can enjoy this my way too, right? It’s not so bad, is it, babe?” Jinyoung whispered in his ear, as he moved slower but deeper inside Mark, successfully hitting his prostrate. The older sunk his nails on his back and mewled.

“W-what did you just call me?” Mark asked, locking eyes with the author. He was completely losing control of the beatings within his chest. The Korean was so buried inside him, his limbs were so intensely connected that he couldn’t tell anymore which parts of their bodies belonged to him or to the younger.

“I wanna us to come together. I wanna do you gently, babe.” An overly aroused Jinyoung said, emphasizing the last word. He could tell that’s what enticed the other. A smile formed in his lips when he heard Mark writhe under him. But the way Mark’s slender hips violently rolled against him, made him almost come, and he wanted both of them to enjoy that moment together.

“S-say it again.” The panting American whined, as the author sucked on his earlobe. He could feel the Korean’s lips against his neck, teasing the sensitive flesh there.

“Babe.” Jinyoung said tenderly, just before he bit on Mark’s neck, and released the pressure around his dick, stroking him harder. The American’s eyes rolled back into his head as he surrendered to the mind-blowing orgasm that started to unravel from within him. After a few seconds, he ejaculated all over his chest and Jinyoung’s hand as soon as he felt the younger’s seed inundate him. That overwhelming sensation kept them from letting go of each other. Even though Jinyoung had already come inside Mark, he didn’t care to take his penis out of him. He kept pushing himself slowly into that warm and welcoming cave that was Mark’s anus. He knew his semen was slowly slipping out of the older and staining the sheets, but he didn’t care. He felt like he was able to read one more chapter of that book successfully. That tantalizing book called Mark Tuan, had opened itself to him a bit more, in a rapturous and intimate way.

“God, that was…” A panting Mark whispered, as he caressed the Korean’s back and chewed on his lips again.

“Sublime.” The author said and smiled at him. “Stop biting your lips.” He gave Mark a peck and the older immediately released the abused skin. The flesh was still tainted by a faint tinge of crimson red.

“Sublime?” Mark chuckled. “Now that’s an author’s word.” The older kissed him again, and sighed.

“I have my moments.” The writer beamed at him.

“Had I known you’re such an outstanding top, I would have let you take the lead the first time. You’re so careful and…I suck as a top.” Mark confessed embarrassedly, while tracing invisible patterns on the younger’s face.

“I guess we should stick to our roles from now on, then.” Jinyoung grinned as he pushed his exhausted dick one last time inside the older and removed himself from him. Mark groaned, as the weight of the Korean left him and the younger threw himself beside him with a thud. Jinyoung laid on his side, face to face with the American while running his fingers through the other’s hair and rubbing his forehead against his. He could feel Mark’s hand on his waist and he wondered if the bliss he felt at that moment was just one of the effects of the post-sex afterglow. He wanted to question Mark about the way he ‘checked out’ for a minute during sex, but he didn’t even know if the older was aware of it. He wanted to ask Mark if he’d rather do it gently or roughly next time. He wanted to tell the man lying beside him that no matter how much he begged for a quick shag, Jinyoung felt more comfortable doing him slowly and tenderly. Jinyoung had no desire of ‘fucking dolls senseless’, he saw intercourse as a way to merge body parts and feelings into one single goal. If he was unable to achieve a meaningful connection with his partner, he could not feel completely fulfilled. He wished the other knew that lovemaking was more gratifying than ‘fucking’. Suddenly he surprised himself when the word ‘lovemaking’ invaded his thoughts. Did he just make love to him? Why ‘love’ had to pop into his mind now as he laid beside a man he barely knew? His startled expression caught the eyes of the older, who wondered why he saw sparks of panic in the younger’s eyes.

“Jinyoung-”

Mark didn’t finish his sentence. Suddenly, the bell of the writer's apartment rang, making both of them jumpy. The author didn't even notice it was already dark outside. He was so determined to hear the older’s story earlier, and to give in to the cravings of their bodies, that he didn't notice how swiftly time flew. It was already past 8 and his friends were probably the ones at the door. He internally cursed himself for forgetting to order food. The Korean knew how Jaebeom got impatient whenever he was hungry, and there was no food in the apartment. If his editor was already unhappy with the fact that he had brought the American home, now he certainly would be beside himself as soon as he found out that there was nothing to eat in the kitchen.

He unwillingly disentangled himself from the older and went to the mirror. He fixed his hair, cleaned the vestiges of Mark's cum on his stomach with a towel, and started to get dressed.

"Don't go. Ditch your friends and stay with me." Mark whispered, taking the other by surprise. He turned around to gaze at a naked Mark surrounded by the mess on the bed. He couldn't help but think how the older fit so incredibly well in his bed half covered by his sheets. He liked the view of such a beautiful man in his room, lying on the mattress, sweaty and still filled with his cum, smiling at him, and making such a tender request. A warm feeling filled his chest when he heard those words coming out of his mouth. However, Jinyoung knew better. Those short sentences could mean anything, since the American was the one who uttered them. Jinyoung listed the possibilities in his head. It could mean that the older wanted more sex, or that he liked to cuddle after sex, or, maybe he just missed his touch. Missing was not a strange feeling to the Korean. Actually, Jinyoung already missed the fiery contact of Mark's fingers and nails on his back, and the indescribable warmth inside him. Too warm and addictive. He didn't wanna let go of him either, not ever, but he didn't have a chance at the moment, he had to get out of that room. 

"Sorry. I have to. But you can stay in bed. I'll order some food and bring it up here for you." Jinyoung said sweetly as he walked to the bed, sat on its edge and leaned in for a kiss. Mark immediately circled his arms around him and ravished his lips. Jinyoung crawled on the bed and climbed on top of him to deepen the kiss. Voices could be heard coming from downstairs, making him groan.

"Let Yugyeom deal with them. Stay." A pleading Mark insisted when the Korean broke the kiss. He wouldn't let go of the younger. The latter beamed at him. 

"I'd love to stay in bed with you a bit more, but I have to go get the door before they come up here. Anyone can easily catch us in the middle of something, just like my cousin did earlier, and I don't want anyone to see us like this."

"You mean you don't want your old crush to see us like this? Come on, they guy is married, and not to you. You're free to fuck whoever you want. Besides, Brownie already told him about us. We don't have to pretend that there's nothing going on between us." Mark said simply, as he caressed the younger's cheek.

"What exactly is going on between us?" Jinyoung's question made both of them go silent. Only their eyes communicated the words none of them uttered. Mark swallowed.

"Look, I didn't mean the things I said about SooYoung in bed. I just wanted to hurt you back then. But the truth is, I didn't feel like this while I was with her or with-"

"Stop. You should take another shower. I don't want the others to smell me on you. Youngjae has a pretty good nose for stuff like that." Jinyoung cut him off and removed his arms from him. He hadn't forgotten what Mark said about his sister being better than him in bed. That was a subject he was not in the mood to talk about, and the fact that the American brought it up now, simply ruined the moment.

"So what? I like your smell on me." Mark shrugged, and Jinyoung stood up abruptly. Every word coming out of the older's s mouth made him feel amazing seconds ago, but now that his sister's name was mentioned, the author seemed to remember their current situation.

"If you're not showering, just stay in the room." The Korean said firmly. The older couldn't help but resent the tone in his voice.

"Can I see the suicide note at least?" Mark said out of the blue.

"Maybe another time." Jinyoung frowned at the request.

"Why not now? I deserve to see it. I've told you everything, haven't I? No more secrets." The American insisted impatiently, as he sat up on the bed. It was clear that the topic made both of them upset.

"My friends are downstairs. I'll show it to you after dinner." Jinyoung said shortly.

"I could tell your editor wasn't very happy to see me. Does Lim know about me? What about his husband? Who else knows about your sister and I?" Mark had an edge to his voice now. So different from his soft tone minutes ago…It made the Korean flinch.

"Mark, it's only Jackson and I in this revenge thing. You don't have to worry about the others." Jinyoung lied, after all, he still wanted the older to feel secure in his home.

"When are we meeting Jackson?" Mark pressed. The author could sense an unusual trace of anxiety in his demeanor. There was definitely something in Mark's eyes that wasn't there before.

"As soon as he returns to Seoul." Jinyoung assured him, even though the very thought of meeting the Chinese made him feel nauseous.

"He'll probably lie about the break up, and try to convince you that I was the father of her child. Hell, he will certainly make you think I'm the bad guy who killed your sister all over again. He did it before." Mark chewed on his lips nervously, and the author could swear the older looked more human right now. He wasn't sure if he felt that it was easy to read his emotions now that he had been inside Mark, or if he was simply blind before. There was also the possibility that the American himself unconsciously, or deliberately showed more of his emotive side to him.

"You might still be a bad guy. But you didn't kill her." Jinyoung stated thoughtfully, wondering what Jackson would say to him if he dared to accuse him of impregnating SooYoung. They were engaged after all. Sleeping together before marriage was not a crime. It was their choice.

"He's your friend, and your former brother-in-law. You have known him for years. You barely know who I am. It will be my word against his. Don't you think I can guess whose side you're gonna take?" Mark sighed in frustration. Jinyoung wondered if the older was indeed worried about his opinion. He wondered why the American cared about which side he would take. Since he met Mark in LA, only two things genuinely worried him. 777 Ways, and Bambam. Now the bar was gone and only the Thai boy remained.

"Soo Young's." Jinyoung said solemnly, and walked to the door. He was not ready to entertain the idea of choosing one over the other. Jackson was family, but his latest actions made him wonder how much he didn't know about the Chinese. Mark was the stranger, a new element in his life that he still couldn't tell if it was nocive or not. Maybe he was not guilty of SooYoung's demise, but he was still a dubious character. The foreigner was still hiding things from him and from himself. The older denied that his tale about the Collector's Case was true, and Jinyoung couldn't help but think he was not being honest about it. Therefore, he would not take any sides, but his sister's for now. He took a deep breath and continued, "Come downstairs when you're ready. This conversation is over for now."

Mark remained silent when the Korean walked out of the room.


	18. Pandemonium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hope drives us to invent new fixes for old messes, which in turn create more messes." ~ Margaret Atwood

As soon as the writer came down the stairs, a smile crawled to his lips. Yugyeom and Bambam were already entertaining their guests. Youngjae and JB were laughing, and the smell of homemade food filled the air. There was music playing and the four of them were already in the kitchen, chatting amicably. It seemed that he shouldn't worry about food since Youngjae was in the kitchen. That dongsaeng of his was a great cook, and if Jinyoung had to envy anything regarding his favorite married couple, it was the fact that Youngjae always kept JB well fed.

As soon as he approached the kitchen countertop, Youngjae jumped on him. 

"Hyung! Long time no see. I brought some kimchi and a few leftovers I had home. I knew you would be too tired to make anything." Youngjae gave him a long hug and smiled. Bambam cleared his throat on a corner, Yugyeom giggled, and Jaebeom felt entitled to tear them apart.

"Hey, I know you miss him, but he's taken now. The Thai kid over there gets a bit salty when other people touch his friend's 'boyfriend'." Jaebeom said in a playful tone, as he pulled his husband away from the writer. Jinyoung gave him a look of disbelief. But JB only back hugged his husband and smirked at him.

"I'm not anybody's boyfriend. We are not in that kind of relationship yet." The writer defended himself, crossing his arms. The 'yet' at the end of his sentence made the editor frown. Jinyoung noticed that. Suddenly he wasn't sure whom he was lying to. Were Bambam and Yugyeom really the ones being deceived by that supposedly fake relationship? Was he lying to himself and JB? He had no idea of how to describe what was going on between Mark and him.

"You do smell like sex." Youngjae pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him. Half of the kitchen laughed, except for JB.

"Well, I wonder why Mark is not down here yet. Perhaps, he's unable to walk? Should I go check on my friend to see if he's alive?" Bambam grinned at the author. Youngjae put a hand on his mouth, taken aback by the boy's straightforwardness. Jaebeom huffed, and Yugyeom chuckled, almost cutting his finger as he sliced some tomatoes on the counter. He loved his boyfriend's bold comments.

"I told you to prepare your ears, Jae. This kid is not the kind of person who ponders his own words." Jaebeom said to his husband as he pointed to Bambam. The Thai simply nodded at him nonchalantly. Youngjae just waved at youngster, taking his impudent language as a 'foreigner thing'.

"I hope Mark can at least say hi. I'm anxious to meet him." Youngjae said enthusiastically while instructing the youngsters to set the table. "You never brought a guy to your apartment. All the other blind dates I arranged for you did not work out. I know all about it. They would complain at me later. They'd tell me how you guys would end up doing the deed in a secluded hotel, but later you would ignore them the other day. This Mark Tuan must be very special."

"I bet he is." Jaebeom said sarcastically. Jinyoung was speechless.

"Oh, you have no idea. He didn't just bring Mark hyung to Korea, to his apartment, and to his room. He's given him a job to keep him from returning to America. He's even writing again." Yugyeom commented giving his cousin a knowing look.

"You're writing? Why haven't I heard about this?!" The editor exclaimed, obviously surprised by the news. Jinyoung on the other hand, didn't want his friend to get his hopes up about a new novel just now.

"Guys, you know how this kid exaggerates. Don't listen to a word he says. He gets his kicks from making me uncomfortable. You know that." Jinyoung explained himself quickly. JB looked half disappointed.

"How many drafts were you able to write?" The editor asked as he sat on the edge of the kitchen table and stared at the author.

"A couple. I'll let you know if it really can become a novel worth reading." Jinyoung stated, still wondering if ‘ _The Inhuman life of A Former China Doll_ ’ could be his next book. His troubled look caught the eyes of Youngjae, who eyed him with amusement.

"You don't have to force yourself. We all know you're a stupendous writer. If Mark is helping you with your creativity, I already like him. It's about time you found your muse. I'm glad for you." Youngjae gave him a pat on the back and returned to JB's arms while the other two settled the dinner table.

"Isn't he going to join us at the table?" Jaebeom asked the author with a suspicious look on his face. He was indeed about to tell Bambam to go upstairs and check if the American was really alive. The editor wasn’t sure if trusting Jinyoung’s words was enough now.

"Maybe. He's still jetlagged." The author said quickly.

"Oh, I imagined you had completely sucked the jetlag out of him already. At least that's what Gyeom claimed to have seen upstairs." Bambam shouted from the dining room. Yugyeom almost let the plates he was holding fall from his hands. He was laughing out loud now. Jaebeom gave the writer an accusing look. Youngjae blushed and his eyes grew wide.

"Gyeom-ah, will you please control your boyfriend's mouth!?" Jinyoung protested embarrassedly.

"Maybe later. In the comfort of our room. And you're not invited." The youngster shouted back.

"Oh, my God. What a pair! You two are a perfect match. Your personalities are completely in sync." Youngjae commented in bewilderment as he followed the youngsters to the dining room. As soon as Jaebeom realized no one was watching, he pushed Jinyoung into a corner of the kitchen.

"Are you fucking him now?! Are you insane? What part of sending him away you didn’t understand?" The editor tried his best to keep his voice down.

"I told you he is staying. Let's not discuss this now." Jinyoung whispered back without much patience.

"When you left for America, you didn’t tell me he was bisexual, and that you planned to seduce him. Jin, do you realize how fucked up this is?! Is this your freaking revenge? Screwing the guy who slept with your sister and supposedly got her pregnant!?" The editor snapped.

"I know what I'm doing. I need to keep him around for a while. Just until Jack gets here." Jinyoung retorted, but he knew the other wouldn't buy his excuse.

"So you're keeping him busy with your cock, or maybe with his cock in your mouth!? You're whoring yourself to him or something? This is the sickest revenge method I've ever heard in my life, Park Jinyoung."

"Well, he made SooYoung fall for him, and then he drove her to suicide. Maybe I can do the same to him." Jinyoung thought it would be easier to play the implacable grieving brother who sought revenge for his sister, than the fool being possibly played by Jackson and thoroughly confused by Mark.

"Jesus Christ! Was that the plan all along? Is the ultimate goal to make him kill himself? Wake up! This guy is not Soo Young! Do you really expect they will end up the same way? Did Jackson put you up to this too?" Jaebeom was shocked.

"It's my idea. I’ll make sure it works." The Korean said firmly. He could already hear Mark's voice in the dining room introducing himself to Youngjae. He tensed, knowing that Jaebeom had also heard him chatting animatedly with the other three.

"That's insidious. You've gone too far. I told you to let this go. Send the guy away, for everyone's sake. Yours, Jack's and his. I am so disappointed on you right now that I can't even stand being in the same room as you." Jaebeom gripped the front of his shirt and stared hard at him, shaking his head in disgust.

"Then leave! I'm tired of your sanctimonious advices. It’s easy to tell me to let go when you’re an only child! You have no idea how I feel. You can’t even imagine the pain of losing a sibling. Who are you to judge me, huh? I'll do what I must. It's my family's business, you have nothing to do with it. Stay out of it." Jinyoung said, irritated by his friend's interference. The idea of Mark getting hurt still haunted him. His doubts regarding Jackson only increased, and he was not in the mood to listen to JB’s lectures.

"You wish! You know what? I'm gonna act like a proper hyung right now, and I'm sure you'’ll thank me later for what I'm about to do. "A determined Jaebeom declared, making the younger narrow his eyes at him.

"What can you possibly do, hyung?" Jinyoung asked defiantly.

"I'm not letting you continue with this shit. You listen to me, Jinyoung, we're going to that dining room right now, and you're going to ask him to leave, or I will-" 

Before the editor finished his sentence, the doorbell rang again. Jaebeom then let go of his shirt and huffed. 

"Jinyoung hyung, did you invite someone else?" An oblivious Yugyeom peaked his head into the kitchen and met the awkward looks on his hyungs faces.

"No." The puzzled author replied.

"I'll get it. I have an idea of who it is." Youngjae called out as he went to the door. Jinyoung and Jaebeom hurriedly went to the dining room where Yugyeom, Mark and Bambam waited for them. When Jinyoung's eyes fell on the American, he almost stopped breathing. Mark was wearing a casual black see-through shirt that revealed great part of his upper body. The fresh hickey on his neck was quite eye-catching. The shirt was half unbuttoned, and the way his old jeans pants hugged his legs and hips was too distracting. Even JB was speechless for a second. Bambam had a proud smile on his face. Mark greeted the editor briefly. Jaebeom gave him a forced smile and sat down with the others. The American hurried to find a seat beside the author, who was still too astonished by his outfit. It bothered him that others could see Mark like that. It was unsettling to imagine that his friends were able to admire that same flesh he had savored and touched hours ago. But he wouldn't voice those kinds of thoughts now. He was glad that Bambam and his cousin hadn’t made any comment about the hickey on the older’s neck yet. Jaebeom was the one he worried about. The editor’s overprotectiveness towards him could turn that dinner into a battlefield. He wondered if the lie he told JB about seducing Mark as a form of revenge would backfire.

"It smells wonderful. What is it?" Mark asked with a smile of satisfaction in his lips. 

"It's Kimchi. A typical Korean dish. If you're into spicy flavors, You're gonna love it." Jinyoung commented as he unconsciously put a hand on Mark's knee. The gesture was done under the table, so no one was aware of it, except the older. 

"Hum, I love Korean food already." The American blushed as he felt the Korean's hand squeeze his thigh a bit. Bambam noticed the delightful mood of his friend and couldn't hold back his tongue.

"Geez, a good fuck can do wonders to you. I'm impressed." Bambam commented in Thai. Mark smirked at him.

"It was more than 'a good fuck'." Mark replied in Thai. Bambam was agape for the first time that evening. The others at the table looked confused for a second, since they were unable to understand the foreign language.

"What did you just say?" Jaebeom was curious to know. However, before one of the two answered his question, another person chimed in. Someone that none of them expected to see.

"It's Thai. I can't speak the language but I can recognize it. That's one of the perks of traveling around the world." Jackson suddenly appeared beside Youngjae at the entrance of the dining room. Jaebeom glared a Jinyoung. The latter gasped. Bambam and Mark looked lost, and Yugyeom cheered.

"Hyung! You're back from Hong Kong!" The youngster got up from his seat and went to give him a hug. The Chinese gladly opened his arms to receive his hug. Youngjae and the maknae were the only ones who looked pleased with the man's presence.

"Hey, you two. Quit looking like you have seen a ghost. I heard from someone at Team Wang that Seunnah was back from his trip and I had to invite him, since you guys didn't even know he was in Seoul. Isn't it a great surprise? It's been a while since the five of us are all together in one single room." Youngjae said. He couldn’t help but wonder why his husband and the author looked so startled.

"Yeah. You did well, Jae. I'm glad to see you, Jack." A tense Jaebeom stood up and also gave the Chinese a hug. But that wasn't just a hug. He whispered in the man's ear a warning, _'Don't make a scene. I mean it.'_

Jackson gave him a knowing look and nodded. Jinyoung also stood up and went in his direction. He hesitated a bit at first but let himself be pulled by the other into a bear hug.

"Sweet Jinyoungie, l'm glad you're home in one piece." Jackson whispered, and kissed both his cheeks and his hair, just to hug him again. There was too much affection in that embrace and even the other foreigners in that room could notice how close those two were. Bambam made and uncomfortable sound at the table, but Jackson didn't let go of the Korean. Mark said something in Thai to Bambam and his friend suddenly looked alarmed. The Chinese's eyes immediately turned cold as they traveled to Mark. His hard stare lingered on the American a few inches from him. 

"You should've called." Jinyoung said awkwardly as he let go of the Chinese.

"I couldn't miss this opportunity." Jackson said vaguely as he approached the American and extended his hand to him. "Nice to meet you, Tuan Yi-en."

"The pleasure is all mine, Wang Jia Er, or should I say Wang Ka-yee?" Mark said as he shook hands with the Chinese.

"Just Jackson is fine." The other said with a mischievous smile. All the eyes in the room focused on them.

"How do you know his birth name? He rarely tells people that." Youngjae was confused, just like the rest of the people in that room.

"Jinyoung told me." Mark lied, and the author immediately realized that something was very wrong about that sentence. He had never told Mark that, and Jackson didn't seem surprised to hear his Cantonese name come out of Mark's mouth with so much familiarity and accuracy. 

The handshake lasted more than necessary. No one could guess that Jackson was almost crushing the bones of the older's hand. Mark remained unfazed, but someone in the room still came to his aid. Bambam quickly walked to the pair and undid the bruising handshake.

"I'm Kunpimook Bhuwakul. Glad to make your acquaintance." The young Thai said firmly offering his own hand for a handshake.

"Bam. We've met before. Don't you remember me?" Jackson stated as he gave the Thai boy a softer look and kindly shook his hand.

"We what?! I don't remember you." Bambam was obviously startled as the other let go of his hand. 

"How come you know my dearest boyfriend, hyung?" Yugyeom approached them, quite intrigued by the Chinese’s words. Jaebeom was already face-palming himself, trying to think of ways to avoid a disaster. He knew the Chinese was a ticking bomb and he was pretty aware that if he exploded, someone would end up being murdered in that room.

"That's a good question." Jinyoung had a horrified look on his face. His heart never beat so fast inside his chest. He wondered if he was about to have a stroke. He hated the fact that Jackson seemed to hide so much from him.

"777 Ways, right? I've been to your bar. One of the wildest places in LA." Jackson glanced at Mark and then focused on a clueless Bambam again. "The moment I stepped into this room I recognized you. You made me an amazing daikiri, kid. I could not forget that one. What a small world!"

"Bambam told us they have a bar, but the fact that you've been there and remember his face is indeed an amazing coincidence." Youngjae said excitedly as he sat beside his alarmed husband. He whispered in his ear a concerned ‘ _what’s wrong_?’ but JB was unable to give him a proper answer, so he just shook his head, signaling to him that everything was fine.

"It's just natural that Bambam is unable to recognize him. When we're bartending we meet a lot of people. Sometimes it takes a while for us to even realize who's a regular patron." Mark commented as he smiled at Jackson. The author observed their interaction. He could tell the American was faking. He could tell the Chinese was scheming. He wondered what the fuck was going on at that table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four updates in a day! Chapters 15 to 18.  
> If you got here first, be sure to check the previous chapters.  
> Have fun!


	19. Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Revenge is a confession of pain."  
> ~ Latin Proverb

"So, how do you like the city so far, guys?" Youngjae asked, trying to make small talk. He didn't fail to notice how Bambam and Mark had gone awfully quiet after Jackson's arrival. The seven of them were at the table, eating and drinking, but only Yugyeom, Jaebeom and himself seemed to be interacting for a while. It was awkward the way the Chinese kept staring at Mark from across the table, it was also even weirder the way Jinyoung's vigilant eyes constantly traveled from one to the other. A glint of muffled panic shone in his features. The publicist was aware that although his husband wasn't as quiet as the other four, he was hiding something. Youngjae knew his husband like the palm of his hand, and he could tell he wasn't being himself during that dinner. No matter how much normal the editor was trying to act, his husband knew better. And whatever was going on, Choi Youngjae was going to find out.

"The language bothers me, but I'm glad that all Jinyoung's friends I've met so far can speak English." The American replied quietly without making much eye contact.

"It's a requirement for the kind of work we do. I take it Jin told you about Team Wang? It's a huge publishing company and its owner is sitting right here at our table. We're Jackson's employees." Jaebeom commented, as he pointed to the silent Chinese. He desperately wanted to tell Jackson to quit looking at the man across the table, but he didn't want to draw Youngjae's attention to them. His husband was sitting right beside him, and that one was quick to read the mood. His ears were quite talented too. He couldn't let his husband know about the pair's stupid revenge. Youngjae would call the police the moment he realized that someone might end up dead after the Korean and the Chinese executed their plan. The fact that his husband had a couple of cops in his family worried JB even more.

"I'm sure the kind of business he runs requires several skilled employees of all kinds." Mark said sarcastically. But only the author detected the sarcasm in that sentence, he knew exactly what he was talking about. Mark wasn’t referring to those who worked at Team Wang, but the people aiding the Chinese with his revenge. Jinyoung sighed out of frustration. Jackson remained dramatically mute, and the author couldn't tell if that was a good thing. His former brother-in-law was unpredictable, and so was the American. He didn't think he could stand that pressure for too long.

"Besides English, I thought you could only speak Mandarin, Mark. I was surprised when I heard you speak Thai with Bam earlier. You never cease to surprise me." The author commented, eyeing Mark suspiciously. Suddenly he felt like he knew nothing about him all over again.

"I taught him a bit. We were roommates for quite a while. But I myself even forgot some of it. " Bambam chimed in, smiling at his friend.

“I don’t like the fact that I can’t understand what my boyfriend said, but his friend can. Come on, Bammie, what did you say to Mark?” Yugyeom pouted.

“He just mentioned how Korean food and Thai food have some similarities, and I just agreed to him.” The American lied, but sounded convincing.

“Mark said something else in Thai when I entered the room.” Jackson commented, eyeing the man with curiosity. Mark went silent, so Bambam answered the question for him.

“He just mentioned that the food might not be enough for so many guests.” The Thai said, making a reasonable excuse. Everyone bought it, except for the Chinese.

"Oh, don’t worry guys. Eat a lot. I brought everything I found at home.” Youngjae assured them kindly, and commented. “So, tonight we only have polyglots at our table. How amazing is that? We might even find you guys a position at Team Wang." Youngjae suggested, but his idea wasn't welcomed by the youngest man at the table.

"They've just arrived and you're already talking about work? I know you’re an workaholic, Jae hyung, but do not ruin this dinner turning it into a business meeting. Please." Yugyeom complained, rolling his eyes at the publicist. The later just made a face at him.

"To be honest, I don't think my bartending skills could be of much use at a publishing company." Bambam said quickly. Youngjae simply gave him an understanding nod.

"What about you, Mark? What do you think of working under me?" Jackson finally spoke, and his voice sounded huskier than usual. A malicious smile danced on his lips.

"I'll pass. I'd rather have my own business, and be my own boss." The collected American said, and after a pause, he added with a smirk. "Plus, I'm already working long, hard hours, day and night, under Mr. Park Jinyoung. I mean, how else would he get ideas for his new book?" Mark licked his lips, and placed one of his arms on the author's shoulder. Jinyoung blushed furiously. The Chinese's smile faded. Jaebeom almost choke on his food. A giggling Bambam gave his friend the thumbs up. Yugyeom grinned, and Youngjae was rendered speechless.

"Jinyoung-ah! I think it's time." Jackson announced out of the blue. His mood shifted abruptly to an enthusiastic one, as he stood up from his seat and gave the writer a firm look.

"W-what do you mean? Time for what?" A terrified Jinyoung stuttered, wondering what the hell the other was about to do. Mark, who sat beside him, could almost smell his apprehension. It was easy understand the author's agitation. His 'partner' had finally showed up, and phase 2 of their plan could take place at any time. However, Jinyoung obviously wasn't thirsty for vengeance anymore, at least that was what the older perceived up until now. The American wondered if Jinyoung could handle that situation well. Deep down, he knew that sooner or later, Jinyoung would have to take someone's side. Though the writer would probably have some trouble doing so, it was inevitable. He asked himself how long it would take for the writer to realize that.

"It's time for you to sit down, finish your dinner and go home, Seunnah. It's late." Jaebeom warned in an unfriendly tone, also having a bad feeling regarding Jackson’s intentions. The Chinese scoffed, simply dismissing his warning.

"Wow, that's how Koreans talk to their boss? I like this country already." Bambam commented playfully, but his boyfriend gave him a serious look and shook his head at him, signaling the Thai boy not to intervene. _'JB is a hyung_ ', Yugyeom whispered to him. A confused Bambam furrowed his brows, but kept his mouth shut.

"Hey, Beom, I'm genuinely curious to hear what Jackson has to say. Don't be rude. What's wrong with you?" Youngjae said, unable to identify the reason for his husband’s hostility.

"It is time for the Kaoliang." Jackson said with an extremely wide smile, surprising all the tense faces in the room.

"What?!" Jinyoung gasped. He had no idea what the Chinese was saying, but he could only guess it was not a nice thing.

"Relax! It's a Chinese liquor, not a weapon. Do you have it here somewhere?" Mark said quickly before the author had a mental breakdown. The American suddenly felt like consoling the stressed author. Although, he thought it was funny the fact that the writer was the most frazzled person at the table, he wished the younger would loose up a bit. Jinyoung was not even Jackson's target, but he was the one looking like a helpless victim by his side. Was the Korean really that worried for him? Would he be sad if he was gone? Would he cry for him as much as he cried for Soo Young? Mark couldn’t help but wonder.

"I-I'm not sure. I'd have to check-"

"Of course you do. You Koreans call it Goryangju. I brought it for you last time I was in China. Since we have a Taiwanese guest, we ought to open that bottle. I'm sure we can find it in one of those cabinets on top of the refrigerator. Come to the kitchen with me." Jackson cut him off, and approached his seat. Jaebeom seemed to relax a little, but not completely. After all, the night was not over yet, and someone could still end up dead in that apartment.

"I'm American." Mark pointed out, slightly annoyed by the fact that Jinyoung was already getting up from his seat to follow Jackson.

"Right. Taiwanese-American." Jackson corrected himself, as he not so gently removed Mark's arm from the author, and dragged the Korean to the kitchen. Bambam gave his friend a worried look. Mark smiled at him faintly, indicating that he was fine. 

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Jackson congratulated the author for his achievement. Phase 1 was successfully completed after all. The Chinese was pretty talkative now that he wasn't around the American. Jinyoung knew that they needed to have a serious conversation about that whole revenge plan. Yet, he didn't know how to say to the other that Mark was not the kind of man Jackson believed he was. He wondered how his former brother-in-law would feel when he begged him to abort phase 2 and leave Mark alone.

"Jin! That was a stroke of genius, my friend! That Yi-en bitch and his friend don't have a clue! You went to America, befriended him, and brought him all the way here, pretending to like him! And you did that in less than two weeks! How genius is that? You sure can act. You deserve to win a Grand Bell Awards for best actor. It’s brilliant! No one will suspect we have something to do with his disappearance. I admit I was worried about you when we talked on the phone. Stravos already had a bullet with his name on it, but you managed to fulfill the mission without dirtying your hands. The only way he’s leaving Korea now, it’s in a coffin. You did well, Jin. Our Soo Young would be pleased." The delighted Chinese talked to him in an eerie tone. A shiver ran down the writer's spine as he listened to him. His former brother-in-law talked about killing someone just like a radiant kid talked about what he would do with the Christmas presents he had received from his parents. Jinyoung found that disturbing to say the least.

"Disappearance? What is it that you actually plan to do? Are your underworld employees in Korea? Is Dan around?" A conflicted Jinyoung managed to ask, as he opened the kitchen cabinet and started looking for the Kaoliang.

"Underworld employees? I like how that sounds." Jackson raised his eyebrows, making a satisfied sound as Jinyoung finally found the liquor.

"Answer the question. Can you tell me how do you plan to 'disappear' with him? Oh, and while you're at it, kindly explain to me since when you negotiate with drug dealers." The Korean demanded as he held the Kaoliang in his hand.

"You really wanna know? I have no problem in answering your questions, Jin. But first things first. Pass me the bottle." Jackson instructed the author. The latter frowned at the request, but gave it to him. Jinyoung watched in awe as the Chinese opened the bottle, took a tiny envelope out of his pocket, poured the white powdery content inside the bottle, closed it again and shook it. 

"What is this?" A petrified Jinyoung asked.

"A very fine substance that will put an end to all our burdens. I heard it's very rare and lethal. It was not easy to find it, you see. It wasn't cheap either, but it will be worth it. The best part is that it’s hardly detected during an autopsy.” The Chinese eyed with a pleasant expression on his face, how the substance mingled with the liquid inside the bottle. Then he glanced at the writer and added, “For along while I thought of multiple ways to wreck that guy's life. I planned to make him suffer at first, and I was determined to do it slowly, painfully, and after days of unbearable torturous suffering, I would finally let him die. Yet, while I was driving here tonight, I thought to myself, why put off to tomorrow what I can do today? My fiancée would praise me for being merciful, I'm sure she would. After all, I'll be doing us all a favor if I let him die quickly. JB will get off our case, you won't have to put up with this guy filthy presence in your apartment anymore, and I'll be able to finally sleep peacefully at night. Can you imagine that? In a few minutes, Yi-en will no longer be our problem. SooYoung's murderer shall be gone from our lives forever tonight. Justice shall reign." Jackson gave him a victorious look, grabbed some glasses and motioned the author to follow him to the dining room. However, the Korean held him back.

"Wait! Is that poison? What about my fucking cousin, his boyfriend and our friends? Do you intend to kill them too?" A sweating Jinyoung demanded, unable to keep his feelings in check now.

"Don't be daft. I'll pour a glass to Yi-en first. I'll wait for him to drink it. Then I'll accidentally break the bottle before the others have a chance to taste it. No one else will have this liquor, but our enemy. It won't be messy, I assure you. Our friends will have no idea of what's going on, and neither will he. The fucker will get drowsy, then fall into a coma, his organs will fail, and he'll die in his sleep." A somber Jackson winked at him, and walked back to the dining room. It took a while for the writer to digest his words. He froze on the spot. He felt like he couldn't move for a while. He only managed to make his legs work after Jackson's dreary words, which echoed from the dining room, reached his ears, 'Let's follow the Korean hierarchy system now...our oldest guest shall have the first glass.' As soon as he realized what was about to happen he ran to the dining room, took the glass from Mark's hand, threw it at the nearest wall, yanked the bottle from Jackson, and dashed to the bathroom in order to flush all its contents down the toilet. All his actions were watched by the other six pairs of stunned eyes in the room. Even Jackson was taken aback by his behavior. Everybody was still in shock when he returned to room with a broom, and started to sweep the pieces of glass on the floor. 

"It was past its expiration date. Who knows what these things can do to your body? I can't have my guests get sick at my table because of a spoiled beverage. It's their first night in Korea, no one is dying today." Jinyoung said seriously, as he glared at the Chinese. Yugyeom and Bambam didn't have any hilarious comment to say at the moment, they just observed the increasing awkwardness in the room. Youngjae hurried to help the author clean up the floor. Mark had an unreadable look on his face. Apparently, Jaebeom was the only one who quickly caught on to what had just happened.

"That's it! Seunnah, you're coming with me." JB stated as he got up from his seat and approached the Hongkonger.

"Where? Are we leaving already?" Youngjae looked genuinely confused now. His husband simply nodded to him.

"Yeah. But you take the car. Jackson and I have to stop by the company for a while. I'll meet you later." Jaebeom said as he gripped the Chinese's arm. Jackson jerked his arm away from him and eyed the editor with defiance.

"Are you gonna tell me what to do now, JB? That's you playing the concerned hyung role? Do you expect me to listen to you like an obedient dongsaeng? I'm not Jinyoung. So don't even try it." Jackson spat and kept glaring at the editor.

"Guys, chill. Everything is all right. No one drank from that bottle. There's no reason for any of you to get so worked up. Jaebeom hyung, it wasn't Jackson hyung's fault. He just didn't check the date on the bottle, right? It's not like anyone was going to die anyway. Let's finish our dinner." Yugyeom argued, hoping to pacify his hyungs. Bambam and Mark silently exchanged looks, but said nothing.

"Lim Jaebeom, what the heck is going on?" Youngjae asked in such an authoritative tone, that made his husband flinch and look away. He stood up and walked to him with determination. JB would not know how to make a believable excuse to satisfy the publicist, after all, the couple hardly kept secrets from each other. Nevertheless, before Youngjae could get the truth out of the editor, Jinyoung spoke.

"JB is right. You guys should go home now. It's late and I'm still jetlagged. I'm glad that all of you could come for dinner. But my guests and I do need more rest. The food was quite nice, Jae. Thank you." Jinyoung declared, as he pulled the younger to him and gave him a hug. JB was relieved for having dodged that bullet. The author obviously didn't want Youngjae to know about that wicked revenge plan either. The less his dongsaeng knew, the safer he was.

"O-okay. You're welcome. Get some rest. We're leaving then." The publicist said, but promised himself that he would interrogate his husband as soon as they got home. When Jinyoung let go of him, JB quickly handed his husband his car keys, and fixed his eyes on the Hongkonger again.

"Say your goodbyes, and let's go. I'm not leaving here without you." JB insisted, refusing to let Jackson stay in that apartment after trying to poison someone. He knew Jinyoung wouldn't be able to handle the man by himself. He had to get him out of there fast.

"I need to borrow a shirt from our host at least. Do you expect me to go out like this?" Jackson asked annoyed, as he pointed to his own shirt and eyed the author with disappointment. No one had realized up until now that some liquor had spilled on him when Jinyoung threw the glass at the wall. “What a waste.” The Chinese gritted his teeth as he shook his head at the author. The latter looked away.

"I'll let you have one of mine. I guess I have a shirt that can fit in you in my closet. Wait here." The author said and left the dining room in a hurry to go upstairs. Jackson was about to follow Jinyoung when Mark's voice stopped him.

"He told you to wait here." The American stated in an intimidating tone. Jackson eyed him in disbelief, but remained in the living room. A long minute of silence fell, until the Chinese decided to take off his stained shirt. The view of his perfect abs and muscled arms were clearly too distracting. Youngjae gasped and turned away from him. Jaebeom shook his head and tried to ignore the lack of shame of his dongsaeng. A satisfied Bambam whistled, and Yugyeom protested.

"Why do you always have to be such a show off, Jackson hyung?" The maknae pouted, trying to cover his boyfriend's eyes.

On the other hand, the American’s eyes inevitably glanced at the Chinese’s nice physique. He didn't miss the tattoos all over his body, but the one which really caught his attention was the illustration of a lantern on his right arm. SooYoung also had one on her back. Mark recalled that once she said to him that her fiancé and she had gotten those matching tattoos to make sure they would never forget that they were each other's light even in their darkest hours. She also revealed to him that they were very much in love at the time. Jackson had taken her to Hong Kong so they could enjoy the Mid Autumn Festival together with his family. She described to Mark how they lighted some lanterns, watched the fire dragon parade, and ate some mooncake. She said they were quietly watching the moon when he proposed to her, and the next day, the pair tattooed that tiny lantern in their bodies. At the same occasion in which Mark had the chance to see her tattoo for the first time, and hear the story behind the ink, he and SooYoung were naked in bed, after having had sex. He almost smiled at the irony.

Jackson inevitably caught his wandering eyes in the middle of a scrutinizing body scan.

"Do you like what you see? They all have a special meaning to me and my fiancée.” Jackson said with a steely edge to his voice.

Mark didn’t answer him, but no. He didn't like what he saw. In his opinion, Jackson indeed had a God-like toned body that was very nice to look at, but he considered ridiculous the stories behind all those tattoos. Mark realized that the Chinese hadn’t followed Jinyoung upstairs just to prove a point. The man had his and Soo Young's story carved all over him, and he intended to make Mark see that. Since his late fianceé was engraved on his skin, she would be always his. It was a silly logic, but the American wondered if the Chinese really believed that.

Soo Young had once told the American that although she only had that lantern on her back, Jackson had other several tattoos all over his upper body, and most of them had a special meaning for the couple. Mark knew that the Chinese character on Jackson's right shoulder meant 'luck'. SooYoung had mentioned that the Hongkonger wanted to express how fortunate he was to have met her, and as long as that symbol stayed on his skin, she would never leave him. The not so romantic part of that story was that she did abandon him, in all possible ways. 

The word 'cookies' under his ribcage represented the first snack they had enjoyed together. Mark remembered asking the woman what kind of person tattooed such a lame name of food on their skin. She just laughed at his comment back then.

The English sentence 'Let's make history' next to the words 'cookies' was supposedly a homage to their promise to stay together forever. The American considered that motto, utter bullshit. In his point of view, everyone had their own history, and every day one lived a paragraph of that history. No one had to say that they were making history. It was already happening, regardless of what one struggled to achieve.

A rat, SooYoung’s zodiac sign was also displayed on one of his forearms. Mark thought it was cute, but it didn't suit his skin tone. As a matter of fact, Mark considered all those inks a waste of money and time. While the Chinese kept talking about the tattoos, which Mark had already heard so much about, the maknaes listened to him attentively and even came closer to Jackson in order to further admire the art. The older just glanced at some of the tattoos out of boredom, but something caught his attention on the other's left arm. There was the symbol of a Rooster on it. Mark didn't know about that one. Could that tattoo be more recent? SooYoung never mentioned it to him. However, Jackson was kind enough to explain the meaning of that one for him. The way he turned his body to the American and extended his arm closer to him made the older frown. When the Chinese started speaking in a language that only the two of them could understand, Mark realized that Jackson had a specific message for him.

"You see this one right here, Yi-en? This Rooster is the zodiac side of the man who took her away from me. He's always on my mind too, sometimes even more than her nowadays. But not for long. This is a reminder that I have a mission to accomplish, and I won't rest until I'm done. One day I shall wake up, and the feeling of restlessness that strikes me every time I look at this ink, will be gone. I know that only then I will be in peace again. I also know that this day is not so far away. It could be tonight, it can be tomorrow. It doesn’t matter. Such a crime won’t go unpunished, no one runs way from fate. Especially not you." The Hongkonger said coldly in Mandarin. Mark's eyes met his stony ones. He wondered how far that man was willing to go for his revenge. He was totally unlike Jinyoung. That one couldn't be easily convinced, deceived, or persuaded to change his mind. He wouldn't allow himself to get easily distracted, or seduced. His grief had already turned to wrath. And that solidified wrath would not be placated, nor the pain of his loss would ever be curbed, or dissolved by a mere request of forgiveness. The American looked deep into his hostile dark brown orbs, and he knew death was coming for him. A small smile of acknowledgement crept to his lips. He had finally found a man who could rival his emptiness. Once Jackson was done with that vengeance, Mark was certain that he would not find peace. Jackson just didn't know that yet. Mark could predict the end of that story too. The Hongkonger would end up like him. First he would be irreversibly tormented by the fact that whatever he did to the one who wronged him, would never heal the incurable wound in his spirit. Then afterwards he would realize that he didn't have a reason to keep living anymore, because his pain would not lessen, but double. Mark wondered if the Chinese would also become just another dead man walking. _Poor soul_. If Mark wasn't so indifferent to his misery, he would pity him.


	20. Replication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When I’d first loved him, I wanted to take him apart, as a child dismembers a clockwork toy, to comprehend the inscrutable mechanics of its interior. I wanted to see him far more naked than he was with his clothes off.” ~ Angela Carter

"Do you mind sharing with us whatever you told him? You're well aware that apart from you, Mark is the only one who can understand Mandarin at this table, right?" Bambam questioned Jackson, but before the Chinese could answer him, the author entered the dining room again, and handed him a clean shirt.

"Seunnah, go home for now, okay? I'll call you tomorrow. Please, don't do anything before consulting me. I mean it. We need to have a serious talk." Jinyoung said in a pleading tone, and Jackson seemed to finally relent. The Hongkonger wasn’t very interested in putting on the shirt that was lent to him, but JB promptly helped him out. The editor hurried to button up the piece of clothing as he rummaged around Jackson's pocket to find his car keys at the same time. The others eyed him weirdly, except for Jinyoung, who totally understood the editor's attempt to keep everyone alive, and save the night.

"Seunnah will drive me home later, Jae. Don’t wait up. I’ll see you soon, honey." Jaebeom said quickly, as he gave his husband a brief peck on the lips, and afterwards pulled Jackson closer to him.

"If I didn't know that you and Jae hyung were married I'd think that you and Sseunnah were having an affair." Yugyeom said playfully as he watched the scene. Youngjae rolled his eyes at the younger, and JB gave a not so kind slap upside his head. Bambam snickered, but quickly massaged the spot where the editor smacked his boyfriend.

"You Koreans are quite odd, but you do look good. Geez, now that I look at the five of you up close, wow…Are you all this handsome by nature or you guys have all done plastic surgeries?” Bambam asked out of the blue.

"I'm not Korean. But thank you for the compliment. Every inch of this body is a God given gift, nothing else." Jackson said with a smirk.

"Well, thank you very much, Bam." Yugyeom looked a bit hurt. It was obvious that he was not happy with the fact that his lover thought that his hyungs were hot. He pouted a bit, but when the Thai assured him that he was the only one for him, the younger smiled a bit.

“I still think that my husband is the best-looking man in this room.” A proud Jaebeom affirmed as he pointed to Youngjae, and flashed him a finger heart. He hoped he could make a good excuse for his behavior when he got home. He hated lying to his Sunshine, although he felt that he had to. Youngjae blushed a bit, but also voiced his own opinion regarding the most beautiful man in the room.

"That's very sweet, Beom-ah. But if we take into consideration all the pretty faces in this room...Hell, our American hyung is number one. Jinyoung hyung does have good taste." Youngjae declared, surprising everyone. Jinyoung almost smiled at that comment, and he didn’t even think that it would be possible for him to fake a smile that night with so much going on at the same time. A wave of satisfaction ran through him as he looked at a flabbergasted Mark sitting at the table. He wondered if the American was flattered by the publicist's words. The author couldn't tell. Mark had been pretending to be easygoing since the beginning of that dinner. He acted that same way when he worked at _777 Ways_ , always smiling, and being attentive to his costumers. Jinyoung suddenly wondered if his costumers became regulars just to have more chances to admire his magnificent looks. No doubt, he was breathtaking. The author concluded that only a blind man, or a man already in love with another man, like JB, could not see that. Jinyoung agreed with his dongsaeng completely, but he wouldn't say it out loud. JB was already giving him a scrutinizing look, and the author had to do his best not to seem pleased by Youngjae's comment.

"Time to go, right, darling?" Jaebeom said a bit annoyed as he raised an eyebrow at his husband. Not really pleased by Youngjae’s opinion.

"I think Jin looks better. He resembles Soo Young." Jackson said abruptly, with a grim expression on his face. Silence fell in that dining room once more. Nevertheless, a certain foreigner wouldn’t let that silence last for too long.

"Who's Soo Young?" Bambam asked with a puzzling look on his face. No one dared to answer him for a while. Yugyeom, Jaebeom, and Youngjae knew very well that even the slightest mention of her name made both Jackson and Jinyoung grimace.

"The fiancée I talked about, when I was showing you guys my tattoos. She's Jin's older sister." Jackson replied gloomily, and his eyes fell upon Mark again. The American didn't seem to mind the heaviness of the Chinese's stare. Yet, Jinyoung didn't like that look at all.

"She was, and she's gone, remember? Stop talking about her like she's still here. It's disturbing." The author said dryly, as he gripped the Chinese's arm. Yugyeom swallowed, Bambam looked apologetic for even bringing up the subject, and Mark remained silent as tomb. Youngjae was about to say something when a wise Jaebeom quickly disconnected the writer’s hand from Jackson’s arm, and made his final announcement.

"Like I said, it's late, and we would hate to further impose on you guys. Have yourselves a good night. I'll see you around. I'll call you, Jinnie." The editor said politely, after clearing his throat. Then he turned to Jackson and commanded, "Come with me, now." He almost dragged the Chinese by force all the way to the door of the apartment. Jackson complained but followed him. He yelled his good night to the others and also promised to call the author. Jaebeom barely let him say too much before he pushed him out of the apartment and closed the door behind them. His husband frowned at their behavior.

"I wonder what's wrong with those two. Sorry for the awkwardness, guys. This was quite an eventful dinner, wasn’t it? Well, good night to all of you. Have a great time in Seoul, both of you." Youngjae addressed the two foreigners, who waved him goodbye. Then he turned to the author. "See you at Team Wang, hyung."

"Sure. Thanks for the food again." Jinyoung said with a kind smile, the other nodded. Before Youngjae left the apartment, he glanced one last time at the unfazed American at the table, and whispered to the author a quiet 'congratulations'. The author chuckled, finally able to relax, and waved him goodbye. As he walked back to the dining room, he quietly listened to his cousin’s suspicions. 

"…I swear to you guys! This was the most awkward time I spent around these hyungs. JB hyung seemed nervous all the time, and it was clear he was mad at Jackson for some reason. I still don’t get why my cousin made that scene, and ruined his own carpet because of a damn drink. What about Youngjae hyung suddenly saying that our American hyung was the hottest guy in the room right in front of his husband? I mean, everyone expected him to say it was Jaebeom hyung, right? What about the shifty way Jackson hyung was acting? Well, he's been weird since..." Yugyeom cut himself off as he noticed his cousin’s presence at the entrance of the dining room. "Are you okay, hyung?" He asked the author a bit disconcerted, as he started to clean up the table. Jinyoung simply nodded wearily.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, and-"

Bambam was about to apologize for asking about SooYoung, but the author stopped him.

"It's okay Bam, I'm good." Jinyoung said, as he took a sit beside Mark again, and slipped his arm around his waist. He felt like he needed his warmth now. The American brought him closer, and let the author rest his head on his shoulder. The author wasn't putting up a show for the youngsters, and he didn't care if those two were watching, all that mattered was the presence of the man beside him. Bambam started to help his boyfriend with the cleaning, but both of them kept stealing glances at the lovely pair still at the table.

"And I thought 2Jae was my favorite couple... I swear, I've never seen my cousin like this. If these two keep it up, I fear we're gonna have to move out, otherwise I'll have an overdose of sweetness." Yugyeom commented in the Thai's ear. The latter giggled. Jinyoung and Mark completely ignored their whisperings.

"Oh, come on. They look good together, don’t they? This can work." Bambam said, as he grabbed some plates and followed him to the kitchen. As soon as he was sure no one at the table could hear him, he voiced his suspicions in a lower voice. "It's a bit early to be certain, but I think that Mark might be in love. I imagined that after Cameron, he would never let it happen again, but I guess I was wrong."

"Well, I can assure you that my cousin will take good care of your best friend." Yugyeom assured him as he started washing the dishes.

"Oh, I don't doubt that. I just can't assure you that Mark will do the same for him." Bambam said with a distant look on his face while drying the dishes with a towel.

"Hey, you told me yourself that whatever happens to a person, doesn't define that person. Maybe my cousin is the guy who can finally make him happy. Mark hyung has been through a lot. He deserves a normal life." Yugyeom's optimistic view of the world and the people in it, made the Thai smile. He was glad he had found him too.

"Yeah, he does."

The rest of the night for those two was uneventful. After cleaning up the kitchen they didn't find Mark and Jinyoung in the dining room. They figured that the couple had already gone to bed, so they also called it a night.

Meanwhile, in the author's room, Mark had already gotten rid of his own shirt, and was eagerly pinning the younger to the bed.

"Mark, stop. We should talk." Jinyoung whispered weakly. As the older assaulted his neck.

"I can't hear you." The teasing American murmured sexily in his ear as he grinded his hips against his. The author moaned, but didn't give in so easily to that provocation.

“How do you know Seunie’s birth name? I never told you that.” The Korean struggled to remain coherent while the other stroked the front of his pants and spread kisses all over his chest.

“Soo Young told me, but I guessed you wouldn’t want me to let your friends know that I knew her.” Mark murmured, as he licked and sucked on one of his nipples.

“JB knows about the revenge. He’s totally against it, and I’m sure he’ll try to talk some sense into Jack. He might help us convince Seunie to call off the whole thing. I think you should know that.” Jinyoung managed to say after gasping. The way the older nibbled at his collarbone now made him shudder.

“I figured that out already.” Mark said quickly and continued to ravish the younger underneath him. He doubted that anyone could change Jackson’s mind. And he didn’t care.

“What do you think of Jackson?” Jinyoung questioned, still trying not to succumb to the older’s seduction completely, but his pants were already becoming tighter.

“I’d rather only think of you right now. Stop talking about other men. It’s spoiling the mood.” The American stated roughly as he attacked his mouth. The younger pushed him away more firmly, but the older pushed him back to the bed.

"Can you please listen to me for a second? Get off, I mean it." Jinyoung protested in a grave tone, and Mark finally removed himself from him.

"Geez, I just thought I should be thanking you for what you did downstairs." Mark grumbled, and landed beside him.

"What?! You're thanking me with sex? For what exactly?" he asked in disbelief.

"You took my side tonight. You chose me over him. You didn't let him kill me, even though it was okay for me to die. You didn't let me drink from that poisoned glass. That was quite chivalrous of you. Your valiant efforts to keep me alive tonight were quit impressive." Mark declared in a dispassionate tone, as he eyed the ceiling and tried to keep his hands to himself. The author's eyes grew large.

"I didn't take anyone's side. I didn't have to. I just don't want my apartment to turn into a murder scene. I still have principles, you know? By the way, I genuinely feel humiliated by the fact that you were going to sleep with me just to show me your gratitude." Jinyoung sat up on the bed, and glared at the older, but Mark didn't even look at him.

"Well, I don't have anything else to offer." Mark said carelessly.

"I'm not asking anything from you, Mark! Especially not this! What are you thinking? That I am Daniel Stravos?" Jinyoung couldn't help but raise his voice a little.

"Who are you then, if not another guy too enthralled by the way I look, and the way I easily let you crawl between my legs while we're in bed?" Mark asked mercilessly. His expression unreadable, glacial. Jinyoung fumed, he hated when the older became like that.

"What?!" The author stood up, filled with indignation. "You’re unbelievable! How can you say that! Mark, I-"

"You what?! Have you suddenly turned into a fucking hero again? You went after me in America to play the revengeful brother, now you’re playing the good guy who’s going to save my life, and protect me from all the evil out there? I don’t need a fucking savior, okay? Besides, neither you nor JB will be able to stop Jia Er. It’s obvious to me. What you’re gonna do next time you former brother-in-law tries something wicked again? Are you ready to take a bullet for me, or put a bullet in him? I’m not sure if you’re ready to make that decision. I told you before that I came here to die, Jinyoung. I will not fight it. So don’t fight it either.” Mark retorted, with a tinge of resignation in his voice.

“I’ll never let him harm you, even if you think it’s okay for him to do so. I can be your shield. I can keep you safe from him and from yourself. And no, I’m not doing that because I enjoy having fun with or body or-”

“What is it then? You're in love or something? Don't be delusional. Let's not forget what this is, Jinyoung." Mark warned him.

"Oh, refresh my mind a little bit, Mr. know it all! I myself am having quite some trouble trying to define what’s going on between us. Enlighten me! What is this then?" The author was about to lose all his patience at that point.

"It’s convenient for you. You have some fun while you try to make it up to Soo Young by saving her fiancé. You want to keep your dear friend Jia Er from turning into a murderer. You don't want another death on your conscience. You already feel like shit for supporting your sister's stupid dream. You blame yourself for encouraging her trip to America. The very trip which caused her death." Mark said calmly, as he laid still on the bed. The younger was taken aback by his coldness. Those words pierced his heart like a ruthless icy dagger. It was incredible how the American twisted his words and misunderstood his actions.

"You know what?! I should have let you drink it! I should have let you die, and stand by while Seunnah danced on your fucking corpse!" A hurt Jinyoung retorted, but Mark didn't even flinch. The author’s insults were never caustic enough to the older.

"You still can do that. Hell, you can even dance with him upon my carcass for all I care. But while you guys plan another reckless revenge, wouldn't you like to use this body a little more before my skin starts to rot?" Mark said as he spread his legs and lifted his head to meet the author's eyes. Jinyoung was agape. There was only callousness in those cinnamon pearls. His first instinct was to lash out, but he didn't think he had it in him. He was already put under a lot of strain earlier during dinner. That was indeed a tiresome night.

"Get out of my room, Mark. Take the couch downstairs. I don’t care, just go. I can’t deal with you like this." Jinyoung said with a sigh.

"I don't want to. Your bed is more comfy." Mark said lazily as he yawned. "You take the couch if you want to. Your loss."

"Aren’t you listening to me? I’m not in the mood for your games. Please, get out or I will-"

"What?! You're gonna make me? How? Do you feel like giving me a good beating, Nyoungie? I might like it, you know. If you do it right, I promise not to scream too loud." A teasing Mark turned his head to the side, eyeing him expectantly. Jinyoung frowned at that.

"No. I'm not gonna do anything like that to you, Mark. Thank you very much, but I’ll pass." The author said seriously. If he had doubts about the older’s sanity, now they were all gone. He was definitely convinced that that man was not in his right mind.

"It's not like you've never done it before. You knocked me out cold back in LA, remember? I won't hold it against you. Go ahead. I know I can be a handful sometimes. Come teach me a lesson. You look kinda hot when you get angry. Give me some slaps. It’s probably gonna make you feel manlier, stronger, superior and in control…That's okay, there’s no need to restrain yourself." Mark was now lying on his side, with his arm in a crook, and head propped on his hand. His whole body language seemed to challenge the younger. 

"I wouldn’t feel any of those things. You’re wrong about me. I shouldn't have done what I did at the penthouse. I was out of my mind, and I regret it. It won't happen again. I told you, that was not me." Jinyoung said as went to the door and opened it for him. "I need some space, please, just-"

"I am not leaving this bed, Nyoungie. And the question still lingers... what you're gonna do about it? You don’t have to restrain yourself. Just make me obey you, Nyoungie. I won’t fight you, just hit me! Stop being a pussy!" Mark exclaimed, giving him a cynical smile. Jinyoung stared hard at him and gritted his teeth, while the other bit his lower lip provocatively. However, when the author balled his wrists, and marched to the bed, Mark's smile instantly faded. He swallowed and closed his eyes tightly. He waited for the impact of those fists on his face, but he only felt a sweet pair of lips brush against one of his cheeks.

"Good night, Mark." Jinyoung whispered very close to his ear. The American immediately opened his eyes and stared blankly at the Korean, who slowly grabbed one of the pillows that were lying beside him on the bed and then stepped back. "I guess I should take the couch then, hyung. Sleep well." Before turning away from the older, Jinyoung gave him one last doleful look, and walked out of the room. 

The next morning the author rose up from the sofa as he heard a noise in the kitchen. When he decided to check what was going on in there, he found the Thai young man preparing some tea on the kitchen table. The younger gave him an apologetic smile when he saw he was awake.

“God morning! Sorry to disturb. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I got hungry and came to get something to bite, but there’s absolutely nothing edible in this kitchen. I looked everywhere, that’s why I had to open some drawers and cabinets.” Bambam said in his defense.

“Yeah, I know. I gotta go grocery shopping at some point. I’m a terrible host. Actually, I’m the one who’s sorry.” A tired Jinyoung said as he sat down on a chair, and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. He didn’t look well, and Bambam could already guess why.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t sleep in your room last night.” The Thai boy said and offered him some ginseng tea, but the Korean refused it politely.

“No shit, Sherlock.” The Korean scoffed, a bit dispirited. Bambam felt bad for him.

“I was wondering when he was going to start acting up. Come on, tell me what he did now. Is he giving you a hard time? Because if he is, I can talk to him and-”

“What makes you think that he did something? Who knows, maybe I left him for dead in my room. I don’t get it, I thought you were the overprotective kind. Aren’t you going to punch me again? You’re his best friend. Why are you even asking me that?” The author eyed him in confusion.

“Look Jinyoung, you seem like a nice guy. Too decent, too generous, too normal, and he’s not used that. He’s probably still trying to figure you out. I know my friend. He can be difficult, and stubborn sometimes. Most of the time. Perhaps all the time. You should know what you’re getting yourself into. I just wanna help. And I can help him through you.” Bambam insisted, hoping that Jinyoung would open up to him. The latter seemed to reflect on his words for a minute. Then, for some reason the author felt confident enough to share some information with the younger.

“Look, I didn’t want to have sex last night. I wanted us to talk, but we ended up arguing. He said some things I was not ready to hear, so I told him to take the couch. He didn’t listen to me, and kept asking me to hit him. I refused to, and told him to get out of the room one more time. He didn’t even move from the bed, so, I decided to leave the room.” The author confessed with a vexed look on his face. Of course there was much more to that story, but he wouldn’t get into details. “How can you possibly help me?”

“Mark is not good at relationships, and I bet you’re aware of that. It’s expected, considering everything he went through. Moreover, the only guy whom he fell in love with used to hit him. A lot. I’m sure you already know about his history with Cameron.” Bambam started in a calm tone. He didn’t look even a bit surprised by what he heard.

“So what? He expects me to be a replica of his ex, and act like that abusive fuck? I have to beat him up in order to make him fall in love with me?!” The Korean asked in exasperation, as he threw his arms in the air.

“Is that what you want? You want him to love you?” Bambam pressed, as he cocked his head to the side, as he further analyzed the author’s responses.

“I just want him to act like a normal person. That will suffice.” Jinyoung complained, not ready to discuss that heavy topic so early in the morning.

“Well, you can’t. And don’t even entertain the idea of taking him to a shrink. He sees doctors as repairers, and he doesn’t think he is fixable. Don’t mention ‘professional help’ to him. He’ll leave you in a heartbeat. And then I’ll have to leave with him.” Bambam sounded a bit disheartened now as he took a bit of his tea.

“Would you leave Gyeom just like that?” The author gave him a ludicrous look, making the other inhale.

“Let’s not pretend this is a fairytale, Jinyoung. I know very well that our stay here is temporary. I go wherever Mark goes. It’s been like that for a long time, and we learned to depend on each other. That’s how we survived so far. I’ll never let him go back to America by himself. I’m all he has. Your cousin is more than I could ask for, but he’s not Mark.” Bambam sighed, and added with a sad look on his face, “When the time comes, I’ll make Yuggie understand, he’ll have to.

“You’ll break his heart, you know. He says he’s in love with you.” Jinyoung revealed to the foreigner, hoping that if one day the American decided to leave, Bambam would help him change his mind. He was aware that Mark and the Thai had a strong bond, so instead of taking off with him, he thought the Thai could make him stay. He didn’t want to think of what their departure would do to his cousin. Yugyeom was never good at goodbyes. He got attached to people too easily and he usually had a hard time letting go of them. If Bambam suddenly left, the young man would be devastated. And for some reason, he didn’t think it would be easy to say farewell to the American either.

“Well, are you?” Bambam asked him sternly.

“Excuse me? How can I be-”

“What I am asking you is, do you love Mark?” Bambam sat down in front of him as he held his mug with both hands.

“I barely know him.” Jinyoung replied, unsure of how to answer that question.

“Let me rephrase that then. What do you think of him?” Bambam studied his features as the man stopped to think for a minute.

“He is infinitely beautiful and infinitely incomprehensible. I feel that I could spend a damn lifetime observing him, talking to him, listening to him, and never get the answer I’m looking for. I get so lost when I’m around him that I even forget that an answer is necessary.” The author said, as a smile formed in his lips. 

“You should send him away if his mysterious ways are the reason of your fascination with him. My friend is more than a bewitching enigma, Mr. Bestselling writer.” Bambam declared, dismissing his ornamented words.

“Perhaps that’s what makes him so uncannily irresistible.” Jinyoung couldn’t stop smiling widely now, as the image of Mark flashed through his mind.

“That’s what makes you hopeless, and miserable.” Bambam shook his head at him.

“I can live with that. I like challenges. Moreover, emotional struggle inspires the creative mind.” The Korean commented, convinced that hopelessness and miserableness could keep him company whenever they liked, as long as he could keep the American by his side.

“Suit yourself. It’s your funeral.” The Thai man concluded, as he stood up.

“Well, I thought you would be happier to hear that I have no intention of letting him go. If he stays, you stay, right? I’m sure you don’t wanna leave Gyeom either.” The author eyed him confusedly.

“I don’t, but Mark comes first. And you should stop leading him on if this is not going anywhere. He had enough of admirers, and worshippers, he doesn’t need another one. Stop giving him the wrong signals.” Bambam said in an overly serious tone.

“What makes you say that? Do you really think your friend is the kind of guy who allows others to lead him on? I think he learned his lesson with that drug dealer. Seriously Bam, I genuinely thought you were rooting for us.” Jinyoung furrowed his brows at him.

“There’s no use to. You don’t know him, and you’re clearly not prepared to face the reality. You can’t see through his tough act, and love him for who he is. He’s been through a lot with that fucking drug dealer and that psychopathic Collector fuck! After what happened, he had several one-night stands with people with strangers and he never even tried to get to know them better. He doesn’t get too close to anyone! Not even to me! You say that if he can be normal it will suffice, well, he can’t be what you want! He won’t. Who would? He’s fucking traumatized and he’s unable to see that. Even his goddam memories are a blur. That’s how bad things went down at that hellhole called Collector’s Case. So yeah, excuse me for being too sincere, but I don’t think you’re a good match for Mark. And please, don’t make him fall for you just because you find him beautiful and delicate like a doll. You do that, and you’ll have to deal with me.” Bambam’s tirade made Jinyoung feel more awake now. He wondered for a second if he was still sleeping. Had he just heard the words ‘Collector’s Case’? Was it really all true? He was about to interrogate the Thai when his cousin and Mark appeared at the kitchen door.


	21. Seoul Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When we imagine we have finished our story fate has a trick of turning the page and showing us yet another chapter." ~ Lucy Maud Montgomery

“Morning, everyone.” The maknae announced after yawning. Within a second, he pulled Bambam to him and back hugged the Thai, almost making him drop his mug on the floor. Bambam giggled at his affectionate gesture. Mark looked a bit timid but entered the kitchen too. Jinyoung knew then that any discussion regarding the Collector’s Case would have to be postponed for now. He wondered if the older was mad at him after last night. Although he was the one who left the bedroom feeling offended, he knew he shouldn’t have taken the American’s words to the heart. After listening to what Bambam said he considered that he hadn’t given Mark enough reasons to think that he was unlike the other guys who came before him. However, he was willing to prove the older that he could be more than just a sex partner to him.

“Good morning, dear cousin. Can’t you at least let the poor boy finish his tea? Why do you have to be so clingy, kid?” Jinyoung shook his head at him but smiled. Those two looked adorable together. The author wished his love life was that carefree. The moment the word ‘love’ popped up in his head again, the American took a seat beside him.

“Good morning. What were you guys talking about?” He quickly asked, as his curious eyes traveled from his friend to Jinyoung.

“Lack of food. There’s absolutely nothing to eat in this apartment.” Bambam said without giving a chance for Jinyoung to answer the older’s question.

“What do you say about going shopping this morning, Brownie? You can take Bam with you.” Mark suggested as he turned to Yugyeom.

"Great! After we stop by the grocery store, we can go sightseeing. Why don’t you come with us, Mark hyung? I know you’d rather enjoy this kind of activity with my cousin by your side, but if he decides to lock himself up in that office and busy himself with writing, I can show you and Bam some touristic places you might enjoy. I promised my dear boyfriend a tour around Seoul anyways. You are free to join us." Yugyeom said enthusiastically.

“That would be amazing. But Jinyoung needs my assistance for his next drafts. He’s kinda behind the schedule and he has a deadline to meet. I can’t leave his side now. You do know how his editor is like. He’ll probably keep pestering him about this book-”

“I get it, Mark hyung. You guys need to work hard in private. Well, have fun.” Yugyeom winked at his cousin and smirked at Jinyoung. The latter rolled his eyes at him. The author had no plans to write that day, but he didn’t confirm nor denied Mark’s words. He wanted to understand his intentions first.

“It’s a date then.” Bambam gave his boyfriend a peck and told him to get ready.

“Perhaps you guys could stay the whole day out. I mean, I bet there are wonderful places in the city which are perfect for couples. So there’s no need for you guys to hurry to come back here.” Mark insisted. Yugyeom clapped his hands in excitement. Bambam frowned at his friend, and Jinyoung pretended not to notice the American’s subtle strategy to keep the pair out of the apartment for a while.

“You boys make sure to enjoy yourselves, but behave. Remember this is not America, Kim Yugyeom. Remind Bambam of that. You know where we are, so keep your hands to yourself while in public.” Jinyoung advised his cousin. Already dying to know why Mark wanted to get rid of them so fast. The Korean wouldn’t mind sitting down with him to talk about what happened the night before, but he was certainly not ready for another argument. And if the older tried to provoke him, this time, instead of leaving a room, he wouldn’t think twice about leaving the apartment.

“Relax, we’ll be fine. I’m a responsible tour guide.” Yugyeom assured him, and quickly dashed out of the kitchen to change his clothes. An awkward silence fell in the kitchen as soon as the agitated young man went upstairs.

“Shouldn’t you go get dressed too, Bam?” Mark asked his friend. It was obvious that the older was trying to find a way to be alone with the Korean, but Bambam need to talk to him first.

“Yeah, sure. But I also need someone to help me choose my outfit. Come on!” The Thai boy said excitedly and grabbed Mark by the arm. Before he could protest, his best friend had already dragged him to the stairs.

Realizing he was left all by himself in the kitchen, the author wondered if those two would ever part ways at some point. Bambam seemed to care for the American, as much as the older cared for him. Jinyoung admired that in their friendship. He and JB used to be like that before the editor got married. He missed having someone to talk to, someone who would listen to his problems without worrying about the clock, and instead of judging him, would simple give him some advice. Bambam put his friendship with Mark above everything else, even above his love life. Jinyoung couldn’t say the same about his hyung. He wasn’t sure if Jaebeom still valued their friendship as he used to. Of course he wanted more than friendship from Jaebeom during their college years, but he had resigned himself to accept him just as a friend, since it was clear that the editor could only see him as such. He had to watch Jaebeom go through many relationships before he introduced him to a kid who was his junior in high school, Choi Youngjae.

It was mere serendipity. He would never believe the two would hit it off so fast. It was incredible how two people whom he met in different stages of his life would end up getting married a couple of years after he introduced them to each other. He didn’t resent his dongsaeng for putting a ring on JB’s finger, or for taking most of his time to himself. They were both in love, so it was no use holding a grudge. But he felt like most of the time, JB tried hard to be the perfect husband and didn’t invest too much in being his perfect best friend anymore. As a matter of fact, he thought that since JB met Choi Youngjae, the publicist had become the centre of the editor’s universe, while he had become more like a random acquaintance to him, or some random writer he worked with. He was sure that Bambam would never ditch his best friend because of Yugyeom, and he respected that. They had what people would call ‘friendship goals’. He wondered how mad the Thai young man would be at him once he found out about that ludicrous revenge plan. He was sure he would get more than a punch from him.

His head ached as he thought of last night, and that messy poisoning attempt. Wouldn’t Bambam become a problem if Mark ended up dying in that dinning room? Was Jackson aware that getting rid of the American might not be as easy as he thought? Wouldn’t Bambam, Mark’s guardian angel, suspect of them? As the topic ‘revenge’ crossed his mind, he also reminded himself that he had a ‘friend’ to call as fast as possible. He just hoped that JB had made some progress with the Chinese.

Meanwhile, Bambam tried to get some answers out of his friend. They were both chatting in Yugyeom’s bedroom while the younger showered in the bathroom.

“What’s the worst that could happen? I told you already. It’s nothing serious. We’re just fucking.” Mark repeated for the tenth time, trying to keep his voice down.

“Yeah, that’s what you and Cam used to do. A lot.” Bambam commented, hoping the older would understand the reason for his concern.

“He’s not Cameron.” Mark said shortly, giving him a ludicrous look.

“I know he is not. That’s not what I am saying. But look, Mark, what exactly are we doing here? Why are we in Korea right now? Why are we in his apartment? Why are you sleeping in his bed?” the Thai raised an eyebrow at him.

“Bam, if you wanna leave just say so. We can go back to LA anytime-”

“Hey, relax. I’m having the time of my life since I found this wonderful guy called Kim Yugyeom. Why would I even think of going back now? But I also want to know how you feel about being here, and about this relationship with the seemingly nice guy we left downstairs in the kitchen.”

“This is not a relationship. I mean, we like being around each other, we have wondrous sex, and he’s nice.” Mark said a little disconcerted. Bambam didn’t know the main reason they were there, and the older wouldn’t dare to reveal that to him now. How bad would the Thai react once he heard that his best friend went to Korea to meet his soon-to-be killer?

“Yeah, he’s too nice. And you may fall for him.” Bambam muttered, as he sat on the bed and wondered which one of those two would give in first. The situation was too clear for him.

“That’s never gonna happen. I won’t make the same mistake twice.” Mark chewed on his lower lip, and looked away.

“Did you tell him that? Did you tell Park Jinyoung that you’re just using him for sex, then?” Bambam pressed.

“Bam, we’re here in Korea because he gave me a job. When the book is finished, I’m going to get paid and leave this country. Like I told you before, I’m gonna use this money to open a bar in a nice Californian neighbourhood, where I plan to lead a quiet life. When the time comes, you still can join me if you want to. However, if you’d rather stay here with Yugyeom, I’m not gonna get in your way. I know you’ll be in good hands.”

“Don’t you dare go anywhere without me, Mark Tuan.” The Thai said in an offended tone.

“You’re the one who’s in love, Bam. Not me. I won’t blame you if you choose to make Korea your new home.”

“My home is with you. No matter where we are.” Bambam assured him, and sighed. “Don’t change the subject. Why the hell did you tell Jinyoung to hit you yesterday night?”

“What?!” The American’s alarmed eyes met the younger’s. He wondered if that was the topic the two were discussing that morning in the kitchen. And he also wondered why Jinyoung would share that with Bambam.

“Surprised that he told me? The guys is confused as fuck, and so are you. Mark, if you try to turn him into Cam, you’re gonna fuck this up. Be honest with me, why did you take this job?” The Thai demanded straightforwardly.

“Our bar was gone. We lost our home. Cameron still had control over us even though he is in prison. Dan was being an asshole as usual…Why wouldn’t I want to run away from that country? We had no reason to stay. Jinyoung just happened to be there when we needed him. We weren’t safe there, we weren’t safe anywhere.” Mark would not mention the revenge, so he just said anything that came to his mind. He couldn’t tell Bambam that his life was being threatened, and that before something bad happened to him, he had to make sure the Thai would be safe somewhere.

“That’s still not a reasonable motive to accept this ‘job offer’. Are you even qualified to be his assistant? It’s obvious you’re not helping the guy write anything! I’ve never even seen you sign any contract. I mean, how much is he paying you? Nothing! Because this is not a professional relationship. You just moved in with him, and you can’t stop fucking him, and fucking with his head while you’re at it.”

“Oh, believe me, he’s not as innocent as you think.” Mark assured him. Bambam would never guess that the author had a single purpose when he got into their lives.

“Right. You might’ve already realized that something might be wrong with him. I mean, he’s too good to be true, yeah? So, let’s get the hell away from these Korean cousins then. Just think about it! Don’t you see a pattern here? You see a guy, he gives you a bit of attention, and suddenly you’re sleeping with him. Unfortunately, later, you find out he’s not who you think he is. Then he drags you somewhere, far away and you are unable to understand why you can’t say no to the guy anymore because you are already in love with him, and you’ll do whatever he wants you to do.” Bambam gave him a sympathetic look.

“Jinyoung is a fucking author, not a drug dealer! What are you talking about?” Mark crossed his arms and eyed the younger with frustration.

“You want us to be safe, and we need money to build an honest life for ourselves. Let’s say I believe your reasons. What about him? Can you tell for certain why he took us in when the bar caught fire? Why he gave you a ‘job’ and brought us here? Why he’s fucking his own assistant who’s supposed to help him write? What about his weird friends last night? What if they’re bad people? How can we know whether they aren’t involved in some illegal activity? Do you realize that if something happens to us in this country no one is gonna look for us?” Bambam threw his arms, as he tried to figure out why his friend was being so stubborn.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. Why are you like this? I thought you wanted to come to Korea. Why are you only asking me this kind of stuff now? Are you trying to scare me or something?!” The older lied, but he could already imagine where that conversation was going.

“What about the weird Chinese guy from yesterday night? Did he really stop by the bar? Why was he giving you those strange looks? Why did you suddenly tell me to stay away from Wang as soon as he arrived? I mean, thank God I’m the only one who could speak Thai at that table, otherwise the situation would be more than awkward.” Bambam narrowed his eyes at the American.

“Look, he would stop by 777 Ways once in a while. He was a lousy costumer, he broke some bottles and started some fights. You know the kind. That’s all.” The older said, struggling to sound casual. Lying to his friend was more difficult than he thought.

“Why does he remember me, and not you?” Bambam asked, still a bit suspicious.

“No idea.” Mark replied quickly, hoping the other would stop asking questions he could not answer.

“What did he say to you in Mandarin?” the younger pressed.

“That the Rooster on his arm represented his dad’s zodiac sign, or something.”

“Bullshit!” Bambam shook his head at him.

“Who knows, I could barely understand him. My Mandarin is a bit rusty. Why the hell would I lie to you?” Mark asked, looking straight at him, and his friend finally relented.

“Listen, Mark, I’m not saying they belong to the Korea mafia or anything. I’m just trying to tell you to take things slow. You and Jinyoung can enjoy other things besides sex, right? Get to know him first. Make him earn your trust, and make sure that when you really start trusting him, you won’t be asking him to treat you the same way Cam treated you.” Bambam advised him calmly.

“Why would I ask such a thing from him?” Mark snapped.

“You already did last night.” The Thai shrugged.

“Whatever! Those are all the advices you have for me? Take things slow? Do other things besides sex? Are you really the Kunpimook Bhuwakul I know? You and Yugyeom are fucking like bunnies, and I’m sure you two didn’t have enough time to know each other. Who are you to tell me what to do?!”

“Don’t change the subject. We are talking about you here, not me. I actually think that Jinyoung could be good to you. But you’re both doing things without thinking about the consequences. I obviously worry about you, because you’re my friend. You were the one in an abusive relationship, and you were also the one who was sent to Hara’s training camp. I can’t even imagine what that can do to a person. I hardly know what it did to you, because you refuse to talk about it. Do you know how scared I was for you? How scared I was of you?” The Thai gave the American a concerned look.

“You used to whore yourself on the streets. There wasn’t much difference to what was done to me, and what you did to yourself. Neither of us had a choice.” Mark stated coldly.

“It wasn’t just that. I heard they messed with your head in that place and-”

“This fucking therapy session is over. Go have some shower sex with your boyfriend and leave me alone.” Mark stated and stomped out of the room, leaving an agape Bambam behind. The American took shelter in the author’s bedroom, which was empty at the moment. He stayed there for half an hour. He asked himself where the Korean could be, and why he was not there with him, but he only dared to leave Jinyoung’s room when Yugyeom announced through the door that he and Bambam were leaving.

After a few minutes, he started searching for the Korean up and down. After a while, he noticed that the balcony door was open and as he approached it, he could see Jinyoung’s silhouette through the glass. He was elegantly sitting on a chair with his phone in one hand and his laptop on his lap. He had a faraway look on his face, as he stared at the Seoul sky.

“Are you working? Am I interrupting?” The American asked cautiously, as he approached the author.

“No. Not at all. Do you need something?” Jinyoung asked, a bit startled to see him there.

“I’d like to have a word with you.” Mark started, in a controlled voice. As he leaned on the glass door of the balcony and stared at the younger.

“Are you leaving?” The Korean asked, with a tinge of despair in his voice.

“No. Do you want me to?” Mark furrowed his brows.

“Would you go if I asked you to?” The author looked at him expectantly.

“No.” Mark said honestly.

“Good. Then don’t go. Stay.” Jinyoung sighed in relief.

“First of all, sorry for yesterday. It’s your apartment, and I made you sleep on the couch.” Mark eyed him apologetically.

“It’s okay, Mark. I’m not mad about taking the couch. I was just sad about the whole thing. The words we said to each other, for example. I let you wind me up, and you took advantage of it. You were probably testing me, right? You wanted to see how much Zhou and I have in common. Well, I will never lay a hand on you again, Mark. Sorry to disappoint.” The younger said sarcastically, as his eyes left the older and he gazed at the sky again.

“I wasn’t testing you. I was testing myself. I wondered if I would hate you even if you didn’t hit me. I wondered if I would despise you for not acting like him, for not being him, or for not following his pattern of tough love.” Mark’s carried words made the younger focus on him again.

“You’ve made some twisted associations there. That’s quite disturbing to hear.” Jinyoung barely knew how to respond to that.

“I know.” Mark sighed.

“Well, did you pass your own test?!” Jinyoung gave him a pained look.

“I don’t have any ill-feeling towards you. I don’t hate you for not being him. Rest assured.” Mark declared at once.

“Should I be thanking you for that?” Jinyoung asked bitterly, as he looked up to sky above them one more time.

“No, Jinyoung. Hear me out. Remember that 21 questions game that we played in your office at the penthouse?” Mark asked in a hurried voice. The author wondered if he was nervous. He usually couldn’t tell by just examining his expression, so he didn’t even try making any assumptions. He could feel a headache approaching as he felt the weight of the distance between them. They were physically in that balcony, but he could never grasp how Mark’s mind worked. He felt that they were mentally disconnected, and that hopeless sensation bothered him to no end.

“Yeah. What about it?” The Korean ran a hand through his hair, still trying to digest what the older said about Cameron. He didn’t think he would ever be able to prove Mark that he meant him no harm.

“Remember you asked me if there was anything that scared me?” The American asked in a more sober tone.

“Repeating the same mistakes, and missing big opportunities. Making the same mistakes would make you look dumb. And missing big opportunities would make you a loser.” Jinyoung almost quoted the older perfectly.

“You remember.” Mark muttered.

“Of course I do. I tried to memorize every bit of that conversation in order to get to know you better. I needed to collect more information about my enemy.” Jinyoung said simply, as he remembered how agonizing was to even breathe the same air as the American back then.

“You got the information you were looking for. What about now? What do you need from me?” The American tried not to sound too anxious.

“Do I really have to need anything from you? You’re not even my enemy anymore.” The author answered him honestly.

“Exactly, Jinyoung. If we’re not enemies, if we’re not friends either, what are we then?” Mark posed the question as he fixed his eyes upon him.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. But I really want you to stay. I want that very much, and it’s not just because of the mind-blowing sex. Or because I want to keep Seunnah from becoming a murderer. It’s more than that. Of course I want to keep you safe, and I wanna kiss you all the time, and I wanna hear your voice, feel your warmth and-”

“Jinyoung, I accepted the job you offered me in LA because I thought that if I didn’t, I would be missing a big opportunity. I lost the bar, Bam and I had nowhere to go, and I would be stupid if I didn’t say yes to you at that moment. I was scared to be a loser. But I shouldn’t have come on to you like I did, I’m the one who screwed things up in that office. I mean, I still had no idea you were planning a revenge with Jia Er at that time.” Mark eyed the younger intently, as if he was striving to get his message across.

“Mark I’m not judging you-”

“Regarding my other fear, of making the same mistakes, we need to address that one too. You see, a long time ago, I got attached to a man whom I barely knew. He hit me, but I told myself it was okay, because I deserved it. He drugged me, but I just thought he wanted to make me relax. He fucked me without a care, but I repeated to myself that that was just him expressing his feelings for me. He slept around, but I told myself that I was the only one he loved, although he never said that to me even once. He terrified me, and threatened me all the damn time, but I thought he was just frightened of losing me. He took me away from my parents’ house, and I believed he was just being my heroic knight in a shining armour at the time. He made me a drug dealer, but I just felt glad that I had some use for him. He sent me to a terrible, heinous place, and then I finally realized he did not love me. Now he is in prison, but I am still his.” Mark bit on his lower lip, and pointed to his chest. “He’s no longer here.” He paused and then pointed to his head. “But he’ll always be here.”

“I am not Cameron Zhou. You wouldn’t be making the same mistake.” Jinyoung insisted, in a pleading tone.

“You’re a gorgeous man, whom I sleep with, but I know nothing about. Except for the fact that you once wanted me dead, and that your friend still want me dead. I can’t totally trust Bambam to you, or to Gyeom, can I? You’re both strangers, and there’s no guarantee that you will keep your word. I’m in a strange country, in a stranger’s apartment, in a stranger’s bed. I’m getting trapped again. How fucked up is that, Jinyoung? Do you understand what I’m trying to say? If I don’t learn from my mistakes, won’t it make me the dumbest person alive?” Mark’s voice almost cracked as he chewed on his lower lip.

“I see your point. And I am glad you shared your thoughts with me, because most of the time I’m unable to guess what’s on your mind. I also think we should get to know each other better. I want you to let me meet the real Mark Tuan, and I also want to introduce you to the real Park Jinyoung. Things are indeed going too fast, and it scares me too.” Jinyoung confessed, suddenly feeling the need to touch the other.

“Should I go to a hotel? Shouldn’t we give each other some space then?” Mark asked, as he looked down **.**

“Nonsense. How come we’ll get to know each other if you go away?” Jinyoung removed the laptop from his lap, and placed it on the floor, he cocked his head to the side and beckoned the older. “Come here, Mark. Sit with me.”

The American came closer to his chair, but hesitated for a bit. For some reason he felt his heart accelerate.

“There isn’t much space for both of us.” He whispered weakly.

“We can make some space. Wherever I am, there will always be room for you.” Jinyoung said softly, as he pulled Mark to him and let him land on his lap. The older protested, due their intimate position.

“Jinyoung, don’t.” Mark complained, as he tried to get up, but the younger held him tightly.

“It’s okay, Markie. I’m not expecting a lap dance. I just wanna listen to your heartbeats. Is that okay?” The Korean asked softly, as he slipped an arm around him and brought his bodies closer just to press his ear to Mark’s chest. The other relaxed a bit.

“It’s still beating, right? Sometimes I even forget there’s a pulsing heart in there.” The American scoffed sadly.

“I’m glad that man doesn’t belong in here anymore.” Jinyoung smiled, as he traced the spot of Mark’s heart through his shirt. “That means that there’s enough room for me in it, right?” The Korean whispered softy to him and lifted his head to look into his cinnamon eyes. They were wet, and fixed on him.

“Why would you even want that?” Mark looked utterly astonished. Jinyoung couldn’t believe the older was crying.

“Make some room in there for me, and I might answer your question later, if you’re lucky.” Jinyoung murmured playfully, as he started kissing each one of the salty tears that stained the older’s face.

“That might require sometime. An eternity, perhaps. Another life. Your request demands something impossible from me, to feel again. And right now, I am solely what they shaped me to be. An inanimate, insensate nothing. That’s what China dolls are. That’s what I always will be.” Mark revealed softly, ignoring the bewildered look the younger was giving him. The author finally heard it come from his mouth, and fiction became reality. He also felt like crying too, but he told himself to be strong for both of them.

“You’re not made of glazed porcelain, Mark. You can cry real tears, you can breathe, you can laugh, you can walk, you can see, listen and speak like any other person. You have emotions, you have blood in your veins, your heart still beats! And I know you can love.” Jinyoung stated, as he held both sides oh his face and looked deep into those sorrowful cinnamon eyes.

“How can you be so sure of that? After all the shit I went through, and the things I did? Jinyoung, you have no idea.” Mark shook his head inconsolably.

“You love that Thai kid more than anything in this world. So no, Mark, you’re not a rag doll, nor a walking corpse, nor a heartless monster, or a cold machine. If you were, those lips wouldn’t taste so warm, and I wouldn’t feel so alive while kissing them.” The Korean confessed, as he glanced at Mark’s mouth. Before he lifted his eyes again to meet the older’s, he felt the American’s lips crashing against his. The contact was sudden, but soft at first, then it deepened, desperately slow and intense. They embraced each other tightly and kept kissing under the Seoul sky. The soundless clouds crossing that infinite ocean of blue were the only witnesses to that special moment shared between the two lovers. They could even hear the tempest forming inside their hearts, as the couple bathed in each other’s warmth.


	22. Palimpsestus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion.”  
> ― Edgar Allan Poe

It was already past noon, and Bambam and Yugyeom were still out. The couple who stayed home ordered some food and laughed at the amusing pictures the maknaes sent to both their phones. The Thai and his boyfriend shared with Mark and Jinyoung funny shots of all the places they were visiting in the city, and they didn't forget to make silly poses to the camera.

Mark was happy to see Bambam having fun, and he was grateful to Yugyeom for bringing such a joy to his friend's life. He thought of how insanely amazing was the fact that those two were able to hold a tight connection, both physically and emotionally so fast. He believed the two youngsters had an amazing chemistry because they fed off each other's energy all the time, making it possible for them to be constantly in tune with one another. Mark liked to think that the Thai would be in good hands once he was gone. Yugyeom could help him build a life totally different from the one Bambam had in California. Mark was sure his best friend would never go back to America at this point. He didn't even want him to. Bambam could find a job Seoul, learn the language, and start over. It could take him some time to adapt, but Yugyeom certainly would be by his side all the way. Maybe fairytale endings could be possible once in a lifetime. They were young and in love. He was rooting for them.

After lunch, Mark and Jinyoung snuggled on the living room couch and watched some TV. After their talk on the balcony of the author's apartment, the pair seemed more relaxed around each other. The Korean still had millions of questions to ask the older. He wanted to hear about the one-night stands Bambam mentioned earlier, and he also wanted to see if Mark would be willing to talk a bit more about The Inhuman Life of a Former China Doll. He knew that there was more to it, and he wished the American would trust him his life story completely, even if he chose to speak through metaphors. The Korean was okay with it, since that was the only way Mark confided in him last time they were at a hotel in LA. He assumed that perhaps, the way Mark abdicated the horrors he went through, and transferred them to a fictional character was simply a desperate coping mechanism he used to preserve his mental stability.

Jinyoung couldn't help but also reflect on the question Bambam asked him that morning, and he searched inside himself a truthful answer to his disquieted heart. He struggled to decide whether or not his feelings for the American could be considered love. He wondered if the older was also confused about his own feelings. Did Mark really see him as just one more random guy whom he slept with? Was the Korean any different from the others who used to 'worship' him? If that was the case, the younger was patient enough to prove him wrong with time. He could wait, until Mark was able to see for himself that things could be different from that moment on.

Last night the older made him believe that there was nothing going on between them but casual sex, however, the moment they shared on the balcony, led Jinyoung to think that something special was indeed going on, and perhaps love was not such an inconceivable word to be pondered now. It was a constant torture not knowing what the American was thinking. Yet, he didn't dare to ruin those magical hours he was able to spend with Mark, who also seemed to simply enjoy being in his presence alone. They both knew that bridges needed to be crossed soon, yet, the pair avoided bringing up topics which could threaten their temporary peace. 

Mark was still with his arms wrapped around the Korean on the couch, when he noticed Jinyoung's uneasiness. The author kept checking his phone nonstop. The younger had tried to call Jackson the whole day, but the Chinese never picked up the phone. It was clear to Mark that Jinyoung wanted to bury that revenge story as soon as possible, but fate wasn't on his side. In order to get rid of the other's anxiousness, the American tried to distract him with a different activity. He offered to teach the Korean how to make cocktails at home. Initially, the suggestion wasn't entirely welcomed. Jinyoung wasn't interested to learn anything, he claimed he'd rather stay with him on the couch forever, but when Mark disentangled himself from him and stood up, the disappointed Korean didn't have much of a choice.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, the American put him to work. Jinyoung lazily obeyed him, putting ingredients on the table and handing the older all the kitchen utensils he needed. Mark kept making the younger taste most of the alcoholic ingredients they were using to make the cocktails, and at some point, Jinyoung finally loosened up. By the 5th cocktail, the author already had a silly smile on his face, and his cheeks were adorably red. They put some music on, and the radio station seemed to have the perfect soundtrack for Mark’s cocktail lessons. The songs played weren’t too fast, but they weren’t too slow either. They just fit the ambience. The former bartender unconsciously moved his body to the rhythm of the music while he squeezed a lemon. Jinyoung just watched him work attentively from the kitchen table. Completely bewitched. The older noticed his stare, and chewed on his bottom lip. Mark eyed him shyly, and when Jinyoung didn’t avert his eyes, he suddenly ceased the movements of his hips.

“Don’t stop on my account. I was enjoying the show.” The author smiled at him, grateful to see that brief glimpse of a totally comfortable Mark around him. The older snorted and shook his head embarrassedly.

“As if! I can’t really dance.” The older muttered, as he mixed some ingredients together and tried to avoid the younger’s intense gaze.

“I can teach you sometime. I mean, I’m not as good as ‘Brownie’, but I’d love to teach you some moves. I can tell you’re a fast learner just by the way you were moving your hips minutes ago. Hell, I’ve seen what your hips can do in other occasions too. I’ve got a good eye for this kind of stuff.” A smirking Jinyoung winked at the older, and this time even the foreigner’s ears turned completely red.

"O-okay…Maybe one of these days. Why not?” Mark said quickly, trying not to sound too affected by the Korean’s words. Jinyoung knew pretty well the power of those hips in bed, and Mark couldn’t help but think of how nice the younger's hands felt around them. The more he thought about it, the more he blushed. Not everyone could make him flush like that so easily. He wondered what the hell was happening to him. The American seemed to struggle to come up with another subject in order to get rid of the illegal mental images going through his head at that very moment, but Jinyoung had other plans. He was obviously enjoying seeing the crimson color crawling across the older’s face.

“Funny you said that. There’s a very famous gay bar here in Seoul called _Why Not?_ Maybe we could stop by there. Besides showing you some moves, I could introduce you to some amazing Korean cocktails.” The author licked his lips exaggeratedly, and added with a shameless look on his face, “Perhaps later, you could tell me how good my cock…tail taste.”

The emphasis on the word ‘cock’ was quite brazen. Silence fell. A wide-eyed Mark was rendered speechless for a second. Even the author couldn’t believe that something like that came from him. He put a hand on his mouth, too taken aback by his own choice of words. He gave the agape Mark an apologetic look. The younger was about to blame the alcohol, but before he said anything, the other broke into a fit of laughter. Jinyoung looked embarrassed and relieved at the same time, so he started laughing too.

“So you’re curious about how good I think your Korean cock tastes!? Oh, my God, Jinyoungie. You’re really not meant to say this kind of dirty stuff. You’re trying too hard. It’s too hilarious!” he laughed a bit more and shook his head at the Korean. “Maybe you shouldn’t spend too much time around Yuggie and Bam. They’re not a good influence. But, anyways, I like drunk Jinyoung.” An amused Mark declared, trying to regain his breath. He had the brightest smile on his face. Jinyoung felt blessed by such a sight.

“I love your laugh. Your smile is no joke either. So lovable. Everything about you…What’s not to love?” Jinyoung commented suddenly. Only after the sentences were out that he realized he had said them out loud. Surprisingly, he didn’t care how the older would interpret the words. He wasn’t going to explain himself or take them back. He would leave it to his imagination. The American looked a bit disconcerted for a second, and his smile was gone. He cleared his throat before he started talking about something else.

“I can't believe you've got no food in this kitchen but miraculously have all we need to make some classic drinks." Mark commented awkwardly, as he sliced some lime on the counter and tried not to think too much about the word ‘love’ coming out of the Korean’s mouth. They were only joking around, and the younger was clearly intoxicated. There was no reason for him to take the author seriously. Jinyoung gave him a knowing look, but played along. He had to remember himself that taking things slow also meant not to say things so carelessly. And not saying things so carelessly, meant that he was committed to take some time to get to know Mark better, before getting too carried away.

"I'm kinda surprised by it too. You know what, next time I'll be the one showing you how to make some genius local drinks, Mr. Bartender. Have you ever heard of Hongchobulmak? It's some sort of milky blueberry cocktail you certainly haven't made it, nor tasted it before. It's a Korean mix not easily forgotten, and I assure you won't find it at regular bars." Jinyoung commented as he took another sip of his mojito. He thought of thanking the American for making him feel better. He hadn't had a tranquil afternoon in a while. He almost forgot that his phone was still in his pocket and that he was waiting for the Chinese's call. He didn't know if the rum was already affecting his senses, but he could swear he had never thought someone could look so hot while mixing alcohol with slices of fruits and ice cubes. He remembered watching from afar how dexterously the older worked at 777 Ways, and now Mark looked just as masterful as before. He made the table and the counter of the author’s kitchen his own temple. His godly hands mesmerized Jinyoung, and the younger couldn’t help but adore them and their owner.

"I can't even pronounce the name of this thing, but I am already looking forward to it. I have a feeling that I might become a lover of your Korean cock…tails." Mark chuckled, and Jinyoung was about to roll his eyes at him, but the word ‘lover’ never sounded so pleasant in his ears.

“A lover? I like the sound of that.” The writer said, as he stood up from his seat and walked towards him. He almost made no sound when he leaned on the edge of counter, and cocked his head to the side.

“Me too." Mark agreed in a small voice, and swallowed when he noticed Jinyoung by his side.

“Wow, Americans do know how to take things slow.” Jinyoung teased him with a smirk on his face. Mark stuck his tongue out at him playfully. The author groaned involuntary. He wondered why the sight of that tongue sticking out of Mark’s mouth almost made him gasp. He didn’t think he would be able to restrain himself for too long. After the balcony kiss, he wished he could keep kissing the older until sundown, but since they decided to slow down the pace of their 'relationship', the younger tried not to look so desperate to touch the American all the time. He wanted to make clear to Mark that the physical attraction between them wasn’t everything, and that the moment Mark uttered the word ‘lover’, he felt a fluttery sensation in his stomach. However, it didn't take long for him to let the alcohol guide his actions. Within a second, Jinyoung moved closer to the older and grabbed his arm. Mark eyed him a bit startled, but when the Korean leaned on him, his expression softened. The moment Jinyoung's lips started massaging Mark's, the older made no attempt to push him away. Not even when the author suddenly lifted him up, sat him on the counter, and positioned himself between his legs. Mark simply dropped the spoon of sugar he had in his hand, and focused his attention on the Korean's tongue that already begged to be taken into his mouth. The kiss deepened quickly, as Mark buried his hands in the younger's hair and Jinyoung circled his waist. The American wasn't drunk, but the movement of Jinyoung's tongue inside his mouth made him feel lightheaded. His strong arms were wrapped around him so tightly that Mark could barely breathe. Jinyoung looked disappointed when he broke the kiss.

"I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have done that." The younger said quickly, wondering if he had made a mistake.

"Hey, it's fine. It's just a kiss. I don't mind it. I was wondering why you weren't kissing me after our talk at the balcony. We cuddled for hours in the living room and you didn't try anything either. Are you holding yourself back? Don't do it. I miss your lips anyways." Mark beamed and caressed his cheek.

  
"That's why you got me drunk? So I would get enough courage to attack your lips again?" The Korean raised an eyebrow at him playfully, pulling the older impossibly closer to him.

  
"And to get you away from your phone." Mark added, as he pointed to the mobile in his pocket.

  
"It's strange, he hasn't contacted me yet." Jinyoung avoided his eyes as a worried expression slowly clouded his features.

  
"Jia Er or JB?" Mark asked, as he connected their foreheads and rested his arms on the younger’s shoulders.

  
"If any of them picked up the phone I would feel more relieved. I don't know what was discussed between them after yesterday's dinner. Actually, I thought Jackson would be the one eager to meet me as soon as possible." The Korean sighed in frustration, as he loosened his hold on the other's waist.

"If we can't convince him, just let it go, okay?" Mark said calmly. He immediately regretted bringing up that topic. He could tell that their ephemeral peace was instantly shattered by the way Jinyoung ran his fingers through his hair.

  
"Stop talking like that. I told you that we'll meet him together and make things right. You were never to blame for what happened to my sister..." He sighed for a second time and added, "I just wished I had realized it before I agreed to his plan."

  
"Okay. What are we telling him when the time comes?" The American asked, and the Korean completely let go of him, taking a step back just to look at him properly.

  
"The truth you already told me." Jinyoung said suddenly serious, as he crossed his arms and sat on one of the kitchen stools.

  
"Okay." Mark uttered as he climbed off the counter, and turned away from him in order to go back to his cocktails. "What about a piña colada next?" He asked, swiftly wondering if he could make the younger’s mood light up again.

"What about telling me whatever you're still hiding from me? It would make me more comfortable to know that we’re done keeping secrets from each other." Jinyoung asked carefully, as he stared at the older's back. Mark's shoulder seemed to tense a bit, but he still turned around and gave him a tiny smile.

  
"What did Bam tell you this morning? You two had a weird look on your faces when Gyeom and I interrupted your conversation." Mark asked carefully.

  
  


"Not much. But he mentioned the Collector's Case. Coincidentally, Mark, the story you told me at that hotel back in LA also described an establishment with that name. How come?" Jinyoung started in a neutral voice. He played dumb, of course. All the confirmation he needed about whether or not the American was one of the items in the Collector's collection was already given to him on the balcony earlier. Mark declared he was the China doll shaped to be what those monsters wanted him to be. However, the author wished to know more, he wished he could read the older without any other obstacles, which could make him possibly unknown to him. He aimed to make the older see that he was eager to learn everything about him, the best and the worst, all the parts he could one day learn to appreciate and love, without exception. He wanted Mark to realize that he wasn't demanding all the sordid details from that story, but he was read to listen to whatever he was willing to share, and understand him.   
  


"You know why." Mark replied in a somber voice. 

"The Collector’s Case really existed, and you told Bam what happened there. I thought you couldn't remember." The author pushed.

"I thought you couldn't deal with it. If you knew it." Mark said as he looked away.

  
"So you do remember?" Jinyoung frowned, hoping it was not too cruel of him to ask those questions.

"Bits and pieces. Sometimes, they're just nightmares. Sometimes it feels like I'm sleeping awake. It doesn’t feel real, then it just does." Mark confessed, suddenly feeling too exposed. He didn't like that, but Jinyoung wanted to know him and he wanted to give the younger a chance to do it properly.

  
"Ito Hara, he was the Collector, right? Zhou sent you to his 'training camp' to punish you for trying to leave the neighborhood. This 'camp', was the brothel called the Collector's Case, the one in your story. With all those characters in it, the Programmer, the Repairer, the worshippers...Am I right?" Jinyoung pressed, surprised by the older's openness. He felt like he was getting closer to obtaining all the answers he sought. He wondered if this time, Mark was willing to trust him enough to let him in.

  
"Yeah." Mark took a deep breath and nodded.

"I'm sorry." Jinyoung whispered, noticing how Mark's hands held tightly onto the edge of the counter.

  
"I hate when people say that. I don't like being pitied." The troubled American gasped and covered his face with his hands. Jinyoung thought that if the older got more vulnerable than that he would break. He stood up to go to him, but Mark predicted his movement and stopped him.

"Don't come to me, please. It's not like you have to make things right. It's in the past, it doesn't matter anymore." Mark muttered as one the hands covering his face was raised in front of him, signaling the Korean to stay where he was. The conflicted younger unwillingly sat down on his chair again, and put his hands in his pockets in order to control the urge to held the man in his arms.

  
"Mark, it does matter. You check out sometimes, you dream about it, it's clear that-"

"Jinyoung, I...I can't explain it. I don't know how. It's hard." Mark's voice was almost a whisper as he glued his eyes to the floor and massaged his temples. A worried Jinyoung immediately got up from his seat and went to hug him despite the older's protests.

  
"It's okay, babe. You don't have to. Only when you're ready." He whispered in the older's ear, and Mark allowed himself to be held by him. He wondered how the American couldn't remember living what he narrated to him so well. Was it really hypnosis? Or a case of dissociative amnesia?

"I'll never be. It's all gone. I'm glad it's gone." Mark replied hugging him back. Jinyoung felt his slender body tremble, and for a moment, he thought the American would faint. He seemed to put all the weight of his body on him, but the Korean supported him with his strong arms.

  
"That's right. Forget about this. You don't need to remember what's not good for you. If those memories trouble you so much, leave them be. It's not important anymore. The past is in the past." The author assured him as he tenderly stroked his back. “Let’s concentrate on our present. There’s music playing in our present. Dance with me.” Jinyoung whispered in his ear, and placed an affectionate kiss on his hair. The American buried his face in his shoulder and slowly nodded against it. Mark let himself be guided by the younger’s body, as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. The author started moving his feet to the right and to the left smoothly, while the older tried to mirror his moves. They swirled around the kitchen. There was no romantic song playing on the radio, it was some random kpop tune that didn’t really match the suave rhythm conducting their limbs. They danced to something else. It was as if a silent hymn could be only heard by them, for their embrace exuded an invisible melody orchestrated and felt only by them. The notes of that sweet symphony echoed inside their hearts. It engulfed their thoughts.

The author heard the American utter a cute ‘woops’ as he accidentally steeped on his foot, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“I told you I can’t dance. Not even a slow dance.” Mark complained, as he lifted his head to meet the younger’s eyes.

“We are dancing, Mark. You’re the best dancing partner I’ve ever had. I just hope this harmony never ends.” Jinyoung said after kissing his cheek, and giving him an intense look. He would have whispered more careless words to the overwhelmed American if his phone didn’t start beeping in his pocket. Mark blinked several times as his cinnamon pearls immediately filled with apprehension. When the Korean unwillingly released him to take the object out of his pocket, he swallowed. The name 'brother-in-law' displayed on his phone screen made him sigh. The couple gasped as they read the text together:

_‘It's time for our talk. I brought someone with me. Meet me at Soo Young’s favorite place. We'll be waiting.’_

The words were crystal clear. Jinyoung had finally gotten a chance to speak with the Chinese, but he didn’t know who could be that other person accompanying Jackson.

“I’m just gonna grab my coat and we can leave.” Mark announced as he removed his apron and washed his hands on the sink.

“You’re not coming.” The younger said firmly.

“But Jin, you said that we would do this together.” The American frowned at him as he dried his hands in a towel.

“He’s not alone. I’m not sure it’s safe to take you with me this time. Please stay. I promise I’ll come back soon.” Jinyoung explained, obviously fearing for the older’s safety.

“What if he accuses me of things, and you start hating me again? I won’t even be there to defend myself.” Mark protested, as he crossed his arms.

“Hey, where’s that guy who once told me at a luxury penthouse in Hollywood that he couldn't care less about my impressions of him?” Jinyoung looked pleased to see so much emotional response from the older that day. It was like a dream coming true.

“Things were different. We were practically strangers.” Mark replied impatiently.

“And now we are not strangers anymore.” Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile at his own affirmation. The American didn’t comment on that.

“You ought to let me come with you.” The older insisted, as he ran took Jinyoung’s hands on his.

“Mark, do you know what a palimpsest is?” The Korean asked out of the blue.

“No.” he eyed the younger in confusion.

“It’s one of those very old manuscripts, I mean, a very scarce and valuable material that people used to write stuff on it in repetitively. Several texts could be inscribed on such a parchment, as long as people scratched and scrapped the previous ones. But no matter how people tried to erase the old texts to write a new one, vestiges of the older writings could still be detected on the material.”

“Jinyoung, is this a history class or something? What the fuck does this has to do with anything? We don’t have time-”

  
“No one will make me change my opinion of you. This version of you now is what matters to me. Other people may try to point out some ugly residue of what you used to be. But those past texts of you are barely seen in the present. They are only shadows underneath the surface of your pages. You are the original I chose to keep. Your word stand above anyone else’s and are the only ones I’m willing to read.” Jinyoung declared honestly. Mark’s eyes widened.

“You should stop saying these things…He’s your friend. He was your sister’s fiancé. Are you sure you’re gonna be able to disregard all his complaints?” The American exhaled.

“I am.” The author stated, and gave him a peck on the lips. “Promise me not to leave this apartment before I return, and don’t open the door for anyone.” Jinyoung didn’t discard the possibility of Mark being kidnapped. He wondered if Jackson was just trying to get him out of his apartment so he could abduct the American. Bambam and Yugyeom were out. No one would know who took him.

“I won’t. But only if you promise me to look after yourself and don’t let him get to you.” Mark warned him.

“I promise.” The writer rubbed his check against his and placed a tiny kiss on his eyebrow.

“Then I’ll be here when you come back.” Mark whispered, as he finally let go of his hand.

“You’d better.” A smiling Jinyoung whispered back. Then he waved cutely at the older, blew him another kiss, and exited the kitchen.


	23. Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.”  
> ― Edgar Allan Poe

~~~ Seoul Forest Park, Ttukseom-ro, 6PM

"You came." Jackson smiled at the author as the younger approached him. The Korean was extremely nervous about that meeting when he left the apartment, yet, now, that he was finally alone with the Chinese, at a place like that, he didn't think he would have any problems telling Jackson that phase 2 of their revenge had to be aborted. He would never allow anyone to hurt the American now, and whoever tried to, would have to deal with him first. He had to clarify to the Chinese that they were not on the same page anymore. It was about time he let go of that grief, and he knew that if his sister were there, she would agree with him. He wanted to introduce Mark to the real Jinyoung, and he couldn’t focus on that without making sure the older was safe first. He was decided to try to convince the Hongkonger of the truth they already knew a long time ago. Soo Young was gone forever, and hurting other people would not bring them joy nor cease their pain. He was going to advise Jackson to move on, but if he refused to, he would beg him to stay away and leave them alone. He wanted to live in peace again and go back to his books. He wanted to at least have a chance to build something meaningful with the American who once he called his enemy. Jinyoung planned to tell Jackson that instead of being a hateful target, Mark Tuan could easily become someone very dear to his heart. The Korean could foresee that it wouldn't take long for him to understand his own feelings, and accept the fact that whatever Soo Young saw in the American, he could see it too. The author needed to get all of that off his chest. And he was about to do it now.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" Jinyoung said, he sat by his side and watched the wildlife that surrounded them. It wasn't difficult for Jinyoung to find their meeting place. He was aware that his sister often visited Seoul Forest. She loved nature, and that specific spot of the park was her favorite in the whole city. Soo Young had taken him there more than twice just to get him out of his office, and force him to breathe some fresh air. It was also there where she told her brother she had made up her mind, and that she was leaving South Korea. He would never forget that day. It was the last time he saw her alive. After she went to the U.S. they still had face-to-face video calls, but seeing her through a screen wasn’t the same as feeling her presence close to him. Therefore, he considered that park the setting of their last farewell.

"Look who is here with us. Your parents allowed me to spend some time with her. She is keeping me company for a couple of weeks." Jackson announced, as he showed Jinyoung a glass box in his hands with several beads inside. The writer was surprised to see that container there. The object was covered by Jackson's jacket when the Korean sat down on the bench by his side. Had he known that box was there, he wouldn't have even sat beside the Chinese. It never failed to give him the chills.

"Seunnah, they shouldn't have let you take it out of the house. You should return it to them. It would do you good to keep your distance from it." Jinyoung gave him a worried look, trying to ignore what was in the other's hands. He would never understand why his parents had decided to transform SooYoung's remains into those shiny blue-green objects.

"You keep saying 'it'. Do you realize that this 'it' is all we have left of her? Have you forgotten that this is your Noona and you still owe her some respect?" Jackson argued, with hurt in his eyes. The writer was torn between pitying the man and telling him to seek professional help. However, he ignored those options and tried to reason with him.

"Have you forgotten she's dead, and that these beads are just-"

"They help me sleep, Jinyoung. I feel less burdened when I go to bed and put her on my nightstand. It's comforting to have her so close, it's like she's watching over me. She's the last thing I see before I close my eyes at night, and she gives me the strength I need to face the day as soon as I wake up in the morning." Jackson said as he stroked the lid of the box, as if the object was a priceless treasure he could not live without. The author simply looked away, trying to focus on the flower garden before them.

"I was fervently against this cremation beads thing. Do you really believe a loved one who passed away can rest like this? I still can't even touch it or look at it for too long, it was not the best manner to send her away, and-"

"I think it was a perfect idea to give her this form. It means she had a solid presence in our lives. It means that even though she is no longer with us like before, our memories of her will never decay, they will never fade like ashes, they will never be buried. Somehow, she remains." Jackson said as he admired the box on his lap. The writer knew that there was no use discussing that topic now, and he was sure that no matter what he said, Jackson would keep those beads for as long as he felt it was necessary. The Parks would never deny him that, they knew that the CEO of Team Wang had never recovered from his fiancée’s death. Actually, Jinyoung didn't know whose life was more wrecked by his sister's passing, Jackson's or his parents'. Grief had brought them closer, they shared many tears together, he became like a son to them. The Chinese never stopped being part of the family even though he never got the chance to marry Soo Young. Jackson never ceased to visit his 'in-laws', and the Parks were grateful for that. The author couldn't say the same about his visits to his parents' house. His relationship with them was not one of the best since the day he started to support his sister's trip to America. After the result of that trip, he hardly contacted them, and they didn't make much effort to reach him either. After all, the Chinese was always there for them.

"I came here for a reason, and so did you. Let's cut to the chase." Jinyoung changed the subject quickly and wondered where he should start.

"Jaebeom threatened to call the cops on me if I didn't stay away from the guests in your apartment. He kindly reminded me that his husband has one or two relatives in the law enforcement. I think he's afraid of how the Choi family would react once they found out that Jae's boss is plotting to murder someone. Of course he's also worried about his marriage. Everyone knows that JB, you, and I went to college together. He also works for Team Wang. Our hyung spent more than one hour describing to me how everyone in this country can easily become guilty by association." The Chinese snorted and the younger tensed a bit.

"He has a point. You have a company to look after, and we all have our careers. Risking all of it because of a single man it's nonsense. Let’s call it off. No more revenge." Jinyoung said tentatively, hoping that JB's threat was enough to contain Jackson's obsessive need for retaliation.

"Don't be so harsh, we can't just let Yi-en get away with everything he did. I actually heard from JB about your one-man plan. I'm interested in backing you up. It might take longer than we expect to execute this new strategy, but if you managed to bring Mark to South Korea in less than 2 weeks, I will not doubt your efficiency this time." Jackson declared proudly.

"I'm not sure I follow you. Which new strategy are we talking about?" The Korean gave him a confused look.

"I wonder if that fiend has a heart. You do look like a prince, but can you really seduce him? Is it possible for that prick to actually fall in love? That won't be easy." Jackson had a pensive expression on his face, as he failed to notice the apprehension in the writer's eyes. The author had suddenly understood what he was talking about.

"I just said that to get JB off my back. I didn't really mean it." Jinyoung stated firmly. Jackson didn’t seem to be listening to him though.

"Do to him the same thing he did to SooYoung...I'd like to see it happening...I know it sounds repulsive, right? I would never be able to pretend liking someone that I despise. But you've done a pretty good job so far. Last night I had the feeling he really believes that you're into him. The way he talked to me when I was about to follow you to your bedroom, the way he kept touching you with those filthy hands of his during dinner, and all those insinuations... How did you do it? How did you manage to get so close to him so fast?" The Chinese's question baffled Jinyoung. _Get close to Mark?_ That was still a work in progress. Did they seem too intimate? He didn't realize it.

"Does it really matter? He's here, and there's no way we're murdering the guy. I don't even want to. It's absurd. As a matter of fact, I'm totally against it. Jaebeom was right all along. I should have never sought him out. I should have never left Korea! But this insanity stops now. Our revenge plan is officially cancelled. I cannot let you hurt him. I'm sorry for even letting you think that such a thing could be possible. This is not what my big sister would have wanted. I was in a bad place when I found that suicide note and I let my imagination run wild. My own guilt took the best of me. I was angry and desperate to find a reason for what happened. But he's not her killer. She did it herself, let's face it, no one is the criminal but her. He's not to blame, and he shouldn't be punished by it. I only brought him here to Seoul for you to see that he’s not the kind of monster you think he is. There’s no phase 2, Jack. I won’t allow it." Jinyoung said his piece at once. He took a deep breath and waited for the other's reproach. He expected the worst reaction ever, but Jackson simply laughed at him. The Korean didn't know what to think of that. 

"Oh, Jin. Do you really think I didn't see that coming? You're a kindhearted guy, you're unable to hurt a fly. I knew you wouldn't let me poison him at your apartment. Did you really think that white powder I put in that bottle was lethal? It was just salt, my friend! Look, I can understand your desire to give up on this revenge plan. You’re not a killer, you’re not built like that. I admit I was surprised when I heard you tried to shoot the motherfucker at that hotel in LA. I was genuinely worried for your pure soul at the time. By the way, you've got to tell me that story one of these days. Park Jinyoung using a gun! And let's not forget the episode in which you broke a vase on a gangster's head! That definitely sounds like a Hollywoodian movie scene to me. Did you become some sort of James Bond while you were in America? " The Chinese still giggled. Jinyoung eyed him as if he was mad.

"Is this funny to you?! I had the worst time of my in life in that fucking country and you laugh at my face because of it?" The Korean questioned him in a grave tone, hoping that Jackson would take him seriously for once.

"Exactly. Why stop now? You went through all that hell for nothing? We might as well finish what we started." Jackson still had an amusing expression on his face, but Jinyoung's next words obliterated all the signs of joy on his face.

"You sent me there for nothing! You made me believe he had impregnated her, played her and abandoned her! Why did you lie to me? Why did you fail to tell me that you were probably the father of her child?!" The author demanded harshly. Jackson's eyes grew wide.

"Who you've been talking to?" The Hongkonger asked shortly, his whole body language changed. He clenched his jaw, and his eyes became hard. He seemed ready to murder someone, but that menacing air surrounding him didn't make the Korean back out.

"Soo Young told me you visited her a couple of times. We kept in contact while she was in America." Jinyoung lied. He did talk to his sister through the phone, but she had never told him about Jackson's visits or the problems she was having overseas. The Korean would never admit that he got that information from Mark. "Are you gonna tell me that you guys didn't get intimate while you were there? Are you gonna say to my face that you and her weren't sleeping together? All those sudden business trips to Hong Kong were kinda sketchy. I should've guessed you would go after her!" Jinyoung spat. The Hongkonger swallowed, and his eyes softened a bit.

"We loved each other. Is that a crime? But the baby was not mine. We were careful. We always used protection." Jackson stated in a strangely quiet voice.

"Are you sure?" Jinyoung squinted his eyes at him. Jackson looked away in shame.

"Most of the time." He muttered.

"Mark was not the father." Jinyoung insisted. He reminded himself that his sister was 4 months pregnant. According to Mark, their 3 year relationship was more platonic than sexual. The American told him that they only had sex twice. The first time they weren't even 'dating' yet, and the last was the day before she hung herself. The author concluded that there was not a single doubt that Jackson was the father of her unborn baby. Unless, there was someone else missing in that story.

"The child couldn't be mine. It was his." Jackson declared with vehemence.

"Stop lying to yourself." The Korean sighed.

"If I do, I'll become a monster just like him. Don't you see, Jin? If I let myself believe that because of him, I didn't only lose my Soo Young but also my own child I would lose my goddam mind. If I had proof of that, I would not be sitting with you here now. I would be rotting in prison, for first-degree murder. That means, you wouldn't have to take part in any revenge, because it would have been solely mine, and it would have happened a long time ago. I would have finished him with my own freaking hands." Jackson informed him, as hatred clouded his expression. Jinyoung gasped.

"Seunnah." The Korean eyed him with concern. The speech he had in mind wouldn’t stop Jackson. All the reasoning he intended to use in order to pacify the man beside him seemed too futile now. He couldn’t help but remind himself that a good friend had warned him about that more than once, before he went to the U.S, and as soon as returned to Korea. At that moment, JB’s words infallibly flashed through his mind, 

_'He's not in his right state of mind. You know he's not the same guy after your sister's death.’_

_‘Once he gets his hands on this guy, what do you think he’s gonna do? Can’t you guess what’s gonna happen?! Are you ready to get blood on your hands, Jinyoung?’_

"All our problems started because of him. She seemed different and always busy every time I traveled to see her in America. She was very stressed about her thesis, and I knew she was taking meds for anxiety, but I didn't think too much of it. I knew she was hiding stuff from me. She cried a lot whenever I had to go back to Korea and I always reminded her that she could drop everything in America and come back with me. But you know how tenacious she was. When she told me about this certain American student, and the drugs it was too late, they were together for a while. She said it was a friendship that turned into something else. We ended up breaking up our engagement after I found out what they were doing behind my back." A crestfallen Jackson revealed. The writer inhaled and shook his head at him.

"You should have told me what was going on with my sister." Jinyoung said dryly.

"And she would've hated me for it." The other grumbled.

"What difference would it have made if she did, man!? If Soo Young was seeing someone else, it was clear that she didn't love you anymore." Jinyoung said caustically. Jackson eyed him as if he had been mortally injured.

"I refused to believe that for a while. I still went to see her as a friend, even though she would reject me, and tell me to stay away. I just couldn't accept the end and I was not ready to forgive and forget either. It was killing me the thought of letting her go, I just imagined that she needed some time to rethink our relationship. Still, she wouldn't pick my calls anymore, she'd only sent me photos of them together instead. I didn't dare to say anything to you or your parents because I still hoped for some sort of miracle. After a while, I really thought we were over. Imagine my surprise when she suddenly called me one day and told me she was doing therapy and that she wanted us back together. I couldn't be happier. When I started visiting America again, I really thought that guy was out of her life." Jackson scoffed, as he gazed at the beads on his lap.

"Didn't you think this sudden change was a little strange? Didn't you realize that she was not being herself?"

"I guess I was too ecstatic with the idea of a second chance with her. I was blinded by enthusiasm. Can you blame me?" The Hongkonger gave him a helpless look.

“It’s not Mark’s fault she fell in love with him.” Jinyoung stated firmly.

"Well, stop defending him, because it’s his fault she committed suicide. She wouldn’t have hung herself if she wasn’t so afraid that he could've infected her and the baby. Did you know she called me the day before she killed herself? She was too ashamed and depressed. When I finally managed to get on a plane to see her, it was too late." Jackson snapped, clearly displeased by his dongsaeng’s attitude.

"What the hell are you talking about? Infected? Who? With what?!"

"He is poz, Jin. Besides a bed, Soo Young and that bastard also shared needles. She didn’t even get tested though. The very possibility terrified her." Jackson revealed, with a disgruntled look on his face.

"What the fuck do you mean? Explain it to me!" An appalled Jinyoung couldn’t help but think that his ears were playing tricks on him. His lips quivered, his heartbeats increased, he started sweating, and he felt such a tightness in his chest that he thought he was about to have a stroke. He didn't think he was ready to register what the Chinese was saying.

"Yi-en is HIV positive. So I must warn you, if you're really letting him stay at your fucking apartment, if you really plan to seduce that son of a bitch, you'd better realize that you're taking all the filth from that hellhole he came from to your own home." Jackson gritted his teeth. The wide-eyed Korean was unable to believe that. He was struggling to hold on to the promise he made Mark before he left his apartment and kissed him goodbye. He kept rewinding the American’s words in his mind, ‘ _promise me to look after yourself and don’t let him get to you’._

"You're fucking lying! Is this your pathetic attempt to make me hate him? Do you want me to end up like you, bitter and miserable? I will not-"

"He's taking ART. My employees found his pills in his bag when they took all your stuff out of the penthouse and brought it to the hotel you guys ran to after that episode with Dan. If you don't believe me, ask him about it directly, or take a look at his belongings. I'm sure you'll find his meds there. Because of the combination of those drugs, he's still alive. Antiretroviral therapy can slow the progression of HIV, and can keep an infected individual healthy for many years. That's why he's doesn't even look sick." Jackson stated in a serious tone.

"This cannot be true." Jinyoung put both his hands on his head and closed his eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to believe that Mark lied to him. He couldn’t conceive the fact that he allowed himself to be played, and used like that. He was aware the American was still keeping secrets from him, but he would never guess that it could be something like that. He and Mark had intercourse without any kind of protection, and the fear of having been exposed to a virus like HIV made the Korean worry about his own health. He felt tempted to run away from that park, and look for the nearest clinic that could provide that kind of test. He wondered if Mark cared so little for him to the point of putting his well-being in risk so carelessly. He wondered if Soo Young felt as desperate as him when she found out Mark had the virus. He wondered if she still loved him when she walked into that classroom and pulled that noose over her head. He wondered if the man he brought from the U.S really deserved Jackson’s revenge after all.

"Why would I lie to you about this? Soo Young made me swear to her that I would not tell anyone. She begged me to forgive her, she told me to get tested as soon as possible and start treatment if needed. The truth was that Soo Young and Yi-en never stopped seeing each other, and he didn’t even know he had the virus before they started fucking. Thank God my results came negative after I got tested, but she never even looked for a doctor. She assumed she and the baby were doomed." The more Jackson explained the facts, the more Jinyoung felt sick in his stomach. Was he infected too? Could he be HIV positive? What would his family think if he was? How would his peers look at him once they found out about that? Would his books still sell? He knew very well how HIV positive individuals were treated in his country, they were shunned way from the society, they were sometimes even denied health care, they could lose their jobs, and be ostracized by friends and family in a blink of an eye. They were discriminated and stigmatized. Their human rights were almost reduced to nothing. If being gay was still a taboo in Korea, living with the virus was even worse, since the infection was often associated with promiscuity and drug use. His thoughts, as always, ran wild. Yet, he still could hear Mark’s voice in his head on a loop, ‘ _don’t let him get to you’_.

"You tell me all that without offering me any proof! You’re just using my sister’s name to make me agree with your insanities. You want me to loathe him as much as you do, because you don’t wanna be miserable all by yourself-"

"I have his medical records, I gathered all of it. Come with me, Jin. There’s a file in my house with his name on it. A file that I never showed you because I didn’t want to scare you too much. After you get your hands on it, you won’t ever look at that criminal the same way. You will be wanting revenge as much as I do. Not only for the sake of Soo Young, but also for all the others. That scumbag Mark Tuan Yi-en is not a human being. He’s the personification of evil. It’s time you really know the kind of man Soo Young fell for. I guess it’s time you hear about the Collector’s Case.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a double update yorubun! Enjoy it if u can.


	24. Privation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Secrets are generally terrible. Beauty is not hidden–only ugliness and deformity." - Lucy Maud Montgomery

A week passed and Jinyoung hadn't returned to his apartment. He sent a brief text message to his cousin saying that he would be away for a while because he needed to attend the funeral service of a friend's grandmother in Jinhae-gu. His text also said that Yugyeom should take care of their guests in his absence.

Yugyeom and Bambam didn't see anything wrong with that. Nevertheless, Mark was pretty sure that something was off with that text. The American was the only one who knew the author had left the apartment more than a week ago to meet Jackson. Mark didn't say anything to the others, nor to Jaebeom when the editor showed up at the writer's place 3 days ago looking for him. 

Yugyeom informed the editor about Jinyoung's trip to Jinhae-gu, but Jaebeom had plenty of reasons to doubt the motive of the writer's sudden disappearance. The fact that Jackson claimed he had to go back to Hong Kong a week ago to take care of some 'urgent business' made Jaebeom even more suspicious. The editor didn't think the Chinese would abandon his priority called Mark Tuan in Korea and take off because of work. He knew that the last talk he had with Jackson wouldn't keep the man from giving up on his revenge. The possibility of Jackson and Jinyoung being alone for more than a week alarmed him. He knew how the Hongkonger could be persuasive and how the writer was easily influenced by him. For safety measures, Jaebeom stopped by Jinyoung's apartment every day, just to check on the foreigners there. Yugyeom and Bambam were out most of the time, but Mark refused to take a single step out of the apartment.

JB and Mark were alone in the writer's apartment on several occasions, but the American often locked himself in Jinyoung's room and ignored the editor's presence. Jaebeom didn't try to make a conversation either, he would spend hours reading inside Jinyoung's library and leave quietly whenever the other two returned to the apartment. He didn't mean to babysit Mark, but he didn't know what to expect neither from Jackson nor Jinyoung now, so, for their sake, he believed that he had to be vigilant and ready to stop any of them from doing anything 'illegal' with Soo Young's former American lover.

It was on a Sunday evening that Mark decided to finally interact with Jaebeom. He couldn't hide his concerns regarding Jinyoung's absence anymore and he thought the editor could have some answers to his questions. He entered Jinyoung's office without knocking and surprised the Korean who immediately lifted his eyes from the book he was reading and glanced at the door.

"If you're looking for Jinyoung, he's not back yet." The editor declared, returning his attention to the page in front of him.

"Do you happen to know when he'll be back?" Mark asked tentatively as he approached the table in the center of the room.

"No." Jaebeom replied, as he turned another page of the book.

"Did Jinyoung send you to look after me? I don't need a bodyguard, you know." The foreigner stated as he crossed his arms.

"Why would he send me here because of you?" The editor frowned. Mark's words obviously intrigued Jaebeom.

"Maybe because he has a psychopathic Chinese friend on the loose looking for revenge." Mark said bluntly. The startled Korean immediately put his novel aside, stood up and focused his full attention on him.

"How do you-"

"Look, I need to know where Jinyoung is. Since he left to see Jackson he hasn't come back. They were supposed to meet at Soo Young’s favorite place. Jinyoung seemed to know where this place was, but he didn’t tell me anything about it. Jackson also mentioned a third person in his text. Maybe something happened to him. He’s not picking up my calls. So, if you know anything, please tell me now." Mark stated without much patience.

"So Jackson is really with him? Jin told you about the revenge plan? This doesn't make sense. When?" Jaebeom was baffled.

"A while ago. Even before we landed in South Korea." The older paused and made an unsatisfied grunt. He gave the agape editor one last glance and added. "Judging by the oblivious look on your face right now, you are even more ignorant than I am. I take it that you really don't know where he is, so forget I asked. You can go back to your reading. I won't bother you anymore. Thanks for nothing." The American said shortly and turned around to leave the office. He would have returned to the quietness of the writer's bedroom if Jaebeom hadn't called out to him.

"Wait! If you knew about the revenge all along, what are you doing here in South Korea? Why did you let him bring you here?" Jaebeom approached him before Mark reached the door of the office.

"I don't think this is any of your business." Mark replied turning to the editor, and giving him an unfriendly look.

"Park Jinyoung is my business. I've known him for years, and I care for him a lot. Jackson has been poisoning him with this stupid idea of revenge for quite some time and I am the one who's been trying to talk him out of it. After Soo Young's passing, the brilliant author he once became a mess. He still can't work, and he's unable to think clearly. I believe he can recover his serenity and move on with his life, but with Jackson's constant pestering and your presence here, I don't think he can function. Jin's my best buddy, and I believe he's more important to me than he is to you. So, yeah, Tuan, whatever is happening between you two is my goddam business. And before you start making wedding plans, let me say this to you, if sleeping with him makes you think that you have any special position in his life, well, think again. He's probably seducing you just to get back at you! You're nothing but a target to them." Jaebeom declared in a serious tone. Apparently, his comment didn't seem to offend the American. 

"Wow, maybe he wasn't the only one with a crush. I have the impression that you’re pretty worried about the special position that you have in his life. Do you see me as a threat to that special position? Are you sure you married the right guy? Does your husband know how much dear Jinyoungie is precious to you?" Mark gave him a cynical smirk and Jaebeom inhaled.

"Shut the fuck up. You don’t know what you're talking about. Jin is like a little brother to me. Youngjae knows that, everybody does. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but whatever it is, leave my husband out of it." JB hissed as he towered over the American.

"Nah! Faithfulness is overrated. This ring on your finger can’t keep you from fooling around with other guys, right? Plus, Choi doesn't even have to know. You see, I can keep a secret. You don't look so bad. If you'd like, we can share Nyoungie. Perhaps we can both help him recover his serenity. Believe me, I've been trying everything." Mark suggested with a malicious expression on his face. The editor looked scandalized at first, but after a second, his expression hardened.

"What's your business here, Tuan?" Jaebeom held his arm on a firm grip, and stared suspiciously into his eyes. 

"I like it here. I like him. He likes me." Mark replied calmly. He didn't even fought against the hand squeezing his arm.

"No, he doesn't. And if you know what's good to you, grab that Thai friend of yours, pack your stuff and leave Seoul as soon as you can." Jaebeom gritted his teeth, as his face leaned forward Mark's dangerously.

"Why so much anger? There are other ways you can convince me to leave the city. Hell, maybe you can even make me leave the country tonight if you just ask nicely." The American licked his lips wickedly, and with a single gesture, united their lips. The editor froze on the spot. He had no reaction at first, but when his attention was drawn to the face that suddenly appeared at the door, he pushed the American away. When Mark acknowledged the other presence in the room, he broke into a fit of laughter.

"I'm sure there's an explanation for what I've just seen. Go on, Lim Jaebeom, explain it." Youngjae closed the door, glared at his husband and placed his hands on his hips. The terrified editor was rendered speechless, and it didn’t take long for a giggling Mark to come to his ‘rescue’.

"This is not what it looks like. Our lips just happened to bump into each other." Mark said viciously, and started laughing harder. Jaebeom was still too shocked to utter a word, and when he took a step towards Youngjae, the publicist took a step back.

"Was the kiss that good? You even lost your ability to speak! I'm waiting for your explanation, Jaebeom!" Youngjae raised his voice this time, as he tried hard to ignore the American who seemed to be having the time of his life on a corner of the room.

"Honey, listen...I would never do that to you. We were arguing and he suddenly jumped on me...I-I wasn't expecting it. It was too sudden a-and-"

"Try harder, Jaebeom, without stuttering this time, or I swear to God!" Youngjae cut him off harshly, as he folded his arms across his chest. He didn't even dare to glance at the foreigner, his eyes were too busy shooting daggers at the editor.

"Sunshine, I love you, and only you. I don't know why he kissed me, but I didn't kiss him back. I am married to you and your lips are the only ones that I desire. I was caught off guard. Please, forgive me. Let's go home, and let me fix this." A desperate Jaebeom spoke in a solemn tone in Korean. He didn't think he should be the one apologizing but he still did. His marriage was starting to suffer because of all the things he struggled to hide from his husband. He knew he had to have an honest talk with him soon. After that awkward dinner at Jinyoung's apartment, he still managed to dodge his husband's questions when he got home, yet, he himself felt awful for doing so. 

Jaebeom looked deep into Youngjae's eyes and walked in his direction again. This time the publicist didn't take a step back. Youngjae's fierce glare wavered for a second, as he felt tempted to believe the editor's words, but when Mark started speaking, his expression hardened again, making Jaebeom stop dead in his tracks.

"Wow. Are you already thinking of forgiving him that easy? I have no idea what he had just said to you, cause I can’t understand this freaking language, but it must have been really something. You guys must really trust each other. That's the 2Jae faithfulness Gyeom was telling me about. I finally get it know." The American's playful demeanor was gone as he approached the pair. He paused in front of Youngjae and gave him a scrutinizing look.

“What? Do you expect me to make a scene? Are you waiting for a slap? It’s not gonna happen. This is not about you. This is between me, and the man I married. He’s the one who owes me fidelity. You’re just a consequence of his broken commitment.” An assertive Youngjae told Mark, but the older could see his eyes moisten.

“For Christ sake Tuan, just tell Jae what happened!” A desperate Jaebeom watched the two. His command sounded more like a plea. Mark seemed to enjoy torturing the editor, but the publicist’s next words cornered him.

“Are you the reason my husband has been stopping by this apartment almost every fucking day? Poor Jinyoung. He’ll be surprised to hear what has been going on in his own office during his absence.” Youngjae’s comment challenged the foreigner, and the latter immediately called it quits.

"Hey, listen, I’m sorry. The truth is, I kissed your husband and he obviously was too astonished to even move. He's not lying. I did it because he provoked me. He insinuated that I am not good enough for his best friend. He even asked me to leave Korea. I was not even a bit pleased by what I heard, then I saw your head peek through the door, and I took my chance to get back at him. I was just messing around. I'm not a home wrecker. Besides, I'm dating a bestselling writer, why would I risk losing him!? By the way, editors are not my type." Mark said at once. Jaebeom frowned, actually surprised by the older's sudden honesty. Youngjae's hands fell to his sides, and his face softened. He seemed to ponder the foreigner's speech, and decide what to do next. He glanced at his husband's lost puppy face and cleared his throat.

"Look at that. He's more eloquent than you are. You fool, I was really tempted to file for divorce the moment I entered this office." Youngjae said as he raised an eyebrow at Jaebeom, but soon his unforgiving expression dissolved into a tiny smile. “You’re lucky to have such an understanding husband.” The publicist added, and walked in his direction with his arms opened. The relieved editor couldn't help but ran to Youngjae and wrap his arms around him.

"You know I would never cheat on you, Samchon. You got me scared for a second. Jesus, don't ever look at me like the way you just did. I can't live without you. Don't ever hate me. I love you so much." Jaebeom said as he buried his face on his husband's shoulder. Youngjae snorted, hugging him back.

"Now, this hyung is dangerous. You'd better think twice before meddling in his relationship with Jinyoung, Beom-ah." An astute Youngjae commented, while he patted the editor on the back, and eyed Mark with curiosity.

"Oh yeah, you try to take him from me, and I'll be forced to take something from you. One eye for an eye, yeah?" The American said in a playful tone, but Youngjae wasn't laughing. He still eyed him inquisitively.

"Beom-ah you should apologize to him for being so rude. He's your friend's guest. You have no right to kick him out. I know you can be a bit overprotective of Jinyoung sometimes, but I don't see why Mark wouldn't be a perfect match for him." Youngjae declared, as Jaebeom finally let go of him. The editor unwillingly played his role of overprotective friend in front of the publicist, and pretended that his issue with the foreigner could be fixed with a simply apology.

"It’s true I got a bit carried away. I admit my approach was not one of the best. Accept my apologies, okay? I just want Jin to be happy, and I just wanted to make sure we both wish the same thing for him." A seemingly resigned Jaebeom turned to Mark and sighed. The American could tell the editor had no intention of letting Youngjae the main reason of his concern.

"No hard feelings. And yeah, we both want the best for him. You’ve just gotta let me do my part." Mark said, playing along. However, as his eyes observed how Youngjae entwined his fingers with JB's, he smiled a little. "You already have someone precious by your side, it's just fair you allow Jinyoung to have his special one too."

"Do you happen to be in love with him?" Youngjae asked abruptly, taking both Mark and his husband by surprise. "I mean, you sound like you're pretty serious about Jinyoung."

"I guess it's a little too early to tell, we’re still getting to know each other. But I came here because of him, and I might stay because of him." The American replied quietly, as he looked away. He could feel Jaebeom's gaze on him. Mark didn't need to look at the editor to know that he would be totally against the idea of a relationship between them.

"Stop staring. I know he's pretty, but you're being rude again." Youngjae warned his husband jokingly, and the editor rolled his eyes.

"Samchon is the only pretty face in this office, and in the whole universe." Jaebeom announced with a proud smile, as he gave his husband a peck on the cheek. Youngjae chuckled and pinched his sides.

"Geez, I'm done third wheeling here. I'll give you guys some privacy, okay?" A clearly uncomfortable Mark said, eager to leave the two alone and go back to Jinyoung's bedroom.

"Hey, I have an idea! Why don't we get rid of this awkwardness and spend some time together? Let's go out. What do you say? There's a pizza place a block from here that I always wanted to go. I'm sure the youngsters will be down to it." Youngjae suggested in an excited tone. The American was surprised by how the publicist mood suddenly improved after a couple of kisses and a few endearing words.

"Bam and Yug are back?" Mark asked.

"Yeah, Yugyeom was the one who let me in the apartment. Should I invite them, or should we make this a grown-up night out with just the three of us?" The publicist's eyes traveled from Jaebeom to Mark. But before any of them could answer him, someone else chimed in.

"Hey there! What's up everybody! I don't mean to interrupt this secret meeting happening right here in this office, but did I just hear the word pizza? Where are we going, hyungs?!" An energetic Yugyeom barged into the office with an ecstatic smile plastered on his face. Bambam was by his side, equally thrilled.

"Pizza place!" Youngjae announced animatedly, grateful to see the pair's enthusiasm. He thought that both Jaebeom and the American would benefit from the neverending positive vibe of the young couple.

"Well, let's go then. Pizzas and drinks are on me tonight." JB declared in defeat. The editor didn't dare to refuse his husband's suggestion, and when the other two youngsters started cheering and clapping their hands in delight, Jaebeom couldn't help but smile at their silliness. He hated Mark's guts, but the Thai young man who Yugyeom called boyfriend, was already growing on him.

"Sorry. I can't come with you guys." Mark said, as he chewed on his bottom lip.

"What are you talking about!? Mark, you haven't left this apartment since we arrived in Korea. Yuggie and I have been to thousands of places since the first day we landed here, and you refused all our invitations to go out. Are you agoraphobic or something? Since when my best friend became a homebody?" Bambam eyed him in a mix of concern and confusion.

"I- I just don't feel well." Mark lied, unable to come up with a better excuse to stay in. Mark intended to keep the promise he made Jinyoung. He would not leave the apartment before the author returned from his meeting with the Chinese.

"What do you mean you don't feel well? Geez, why didn't you say anything before? Are you sick or something?" Within a second, the Thai walked straight to Mark, and placed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature.

"Who's sick?" The familiar voice made the five of them turn around and face the office door. "Is this a book club meeting in my library? Why wasn’t I invited?"


	25. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When you come back you will not be you. And I may not be I.” ~ E.M. Forster

“Look who’s here! Jinyoung hyung! How was your trip? I’m glad you’re back! Actually, you have great timing, because we’re all going out for pizza!” A joyful Yugyeom announced, as he marched in his direction.

"Jinyoung-ah! You worried me man, you never picked up my calls. How is your friend from Jinhae doing?” Jaebeom asked suspiciously, eyeing his best friend up and down. He was relieved to see the writer safe and sound but he still felt apprehensive about the whole situation involving the author, Jackson and Mark.

“His grandmother died. As you can imagine, he’s not so well.” Jinyoung replied casually, without giving anything away. The editor nodded, but he was sure that there was something off about him.

“My goodness, as far as I know funerals usually last three days. You’ve stayed in Jinhae for almost 10 days. Did you miss your hometown that bad? By the way, did you lose weight? People are supposed to serve food at funeral halls. How come you look slenderer than usual?” A quite observant Youngjae commented, as he approached the writer. The author would never tell the publicist or anyone in that room that the medication he was taking to prevent HIV infection from taking hold and spreading throughout his body made him lose his appetite and gave him some unpleasant headaches for a while. He could never confide in them that now he had to visit his doctor every three months, just to make sure his HIV-negative status remained the same. There was so many things his friends didn’t know about his so called ‘trip’, and so much he couldn’t tell them that he almost felt guilty for lying to them. No one in that office could guess the hell he had been through, but there was one person there that was the cause of it. Jinyoung glanced at the American across the room but didn’t greet him. Mark on the other hand, just observed the interaction. His eyes never met the writer’s.

“Well, the food wasn’t one of the best, nor was the mood, obviously. Since I’ve missed my old district and its cherry blossoms, I decided to stay there a bit more and reflect a bit. Death often forces us to reevaluate our life choices.” He replied quietly. Jaebeom frowned at that.

“Well, that sounds dire. No doubt you’ve attended a funeral. But you do look like you haven’t eaten for a while. Maybe it’s the black suit? I don’t know. Darker colors always make people look more elegant. But I must advise you to lose the suit if you’re really going to the pizza place with them.” Bambam suggested, and added. “I can stay and look after Mark.”

“Why? What’s wrong with Mark?” A suddenly apprehensive Jinyoung asked, as he walked in the older’s direction. When he stopped in front of the American, the latter finally lifted his expectant eyes to him. “Hey, are you sick?”

“Just a bit indisposed.” Mark mumbled, and the very fact that he was in the same room with the writer again almost took his breath away. Jinyoung’s strong presence made him realize how much he had missed him. How much he craved for his warmth, the smoothness of his voice, and the sweetness of his kisses. The desire to wrap his arms around the younger just like he had seen Jaebeom and Youngjae do it with each other minutes earlier made his heart swell. He wondered why the author wasn’t hugging him, nor touching him. He wondered why his eyes looked so distant. He wondered if Jackson made the Korean break his promise. He wanted to tell Jinyoung that despite his nine days of silence, he hadn’t broken his.

“You guys can go and have fun. Mark and I are staying. I’ll make sure he’s fine.” The writer announced, and the others quickly assumed that Jinyoung wanted to get rid of them in order to make up for lost time with his lover. Jaebeom was the only one who was hesitant to leave the two alone.

“Well, I guess we should give the lovebirds some privacy and enjoy our double date. Its gonna be just YugBam and 2Jae pizza time tonight!” Yugyeom said energetically, as he took Bambam’s hand and hurriedly led him out of the office. The Thai complained about being worried about Mark, but the American just signaled him to leave, and only then, Bambam followed Yugyeom out.

“Perhaps next time we can all go together.” Youngjae commented brightly and said his goodbyes. However, before he left the room he added, “I’m glad you’re back, hyung. With you around I’m sure that Mark won’t be accidentally bumping into married people’s lips. Keep him busy, will you? I’m counting on you.” The publicist smirked, and dragged his unwilling husband out of the office. The writer just stared blankly at the door.

As soon as the couple found themselves alone, an uncomfortable silence fell, until the American decided to tear it apart.

“You never replied my texts. And you ignored all my calls. The funny thing is that I only realized I didn’t have your number when you were gone. It’s was kinda weird to have to ask Yugyeom for it. I mean, he thinks we are boyfriends and-”

“Are you wearing my clothes?” Jinyoung finally spoke, as he turned to Mark and eyed the familiar sweatshirt and sweatpants the older was wearing.

“Do you mind?” The American cocked his head to the side.

“No, I don’t.” The younger replied pensive. It was strange to be in the same room with him again. He resembled the same Mark he left in his kitchen making cocktails days ago. He remembered their dance, their kiss and their goodbye. It all seemed like a dream now. He wished he could dream one more time, and wake up from the current nightmare he was having.

“I started wearing your clothes just to go to sleep. As the days passed, and your absence started to weigh on me, I started wearing them 24/7.” Mark confessed out of the blue. The Korean’s eyes widened at that small information. Mark still sounded like the man he held on his balcony, the one who claimed that it would take centuries for him to be able to feel again. And there he was, wearing his clothing and telling how much his absence weighed on him. He wondered if the American missed him, as much as he missed him. Ah! The Korean could almost smell the faint fragrance of that dream. The cruel irony of that moment was that all the time the author spent at Jackson’s house reading about the older led him to believe that Mark was indeed a diabolical being, an insensate nothing, a deceiving and conniving individual. Heavy layers were added to that book called Mark Tuan since the last time he had seen him. He learned terrible things, which now, for some reason didn’t seem real. Now that he was face to face with him, all he could see was the same Mark that wept on his balcony and laughed when he talked about Korean cocktails in his kitchen. Jinyoung opened his mouth to say something but no sound came out of it. So, the American continued, “Aren’t you going to ask?” he approached the younger and examined his features. He couldn’t read them, and he didn’t know why.

“Do you need medicine? Or perhaps go to a hospital?” The Korean asked, as he remembered Bambam saying something about Mark being sick. The word HIV infection swiftly crossed his mind. Was the older’s immune system failing? He couldn’t help but worry, even though he told himself that he shouldn’t.

“No, I’m fine. I just gave them an excuse to leave me behind. I’m talking about what Youngjae insinuated.” Mark chewed on his lip and searched for a sign of the same Jinyoung who had left that apartment a week ago. He struggled to find a vestige of him in the tone of that voice, and in the way his mesmerizing gaze fell upon him.

“Wasn’t that a joke?” Jinyoung squinted his eyes. He was so relieve to hear that Mark was actually feeling fine that he couldn’t process any other information prior that one.

“Nevermind.” Mark said quickly and went straight to the point. “Was the meeting with Ji Er that bad? You seem different.” The American saw a flicker of something in the younger’s eyes, but he was unable to decipher what that could mean. It made him feel nervous all of a sudden.

“I never got to meet him. He called, and told me that he had some urgent business in Hong Kong. He promised to put phase 2 of the revenge on hold until he returned. You’ll be safe until then. While I was driving back here, this friend from Jinhae texted me and invited me to his grandma’s funeral. He’s a very dear childhood friend of mine, and I couldn’t say no. So I just went to him.” Jinyoung lied with such a confidence that the older was almost unable to doubt him.

“Just like that? He must be a damn good friend.” Mark commented, giving him a skeptical look.

“Are you jealous?” Jinyoung asked abruptly. There was a trace of annoyance in that question and Mark didn’t fail to notice it.

“No. But you could’ve at least told me that you-”

“So, this is how it’s gonna be? You trying to control my life, where I go, when I go, whom I see?” The author cut him off without giving him a chance to complete his thoughts.

“No, Jinyoung. I’m just-”

“I’ve only been out for a couple of days and you’re already nagging at me. I let you stay in my apartment for a while and you already act like you own me, or something? I didn’t sign up for this Mark. Had I known you’re this clingy, I’d have left you in America.” The Korean hissed, and stared hard at the older, who had no idea why the younger had suddenly become so irritated. The author definitely didn’t sound like himself when he added more one more unpleasant sentence to his tirade. “Damn, I’m not surprised Zhou used to lose his temper with you.” The hateful comment carelessly slipped from his mouth, and as soon as it did, Mark was out of the office. Jinyoung cursed under his breath, and tried to focus on what he was trying to achieve. He felt like crap, mentally and physically. He felt like an asshole for saying such vicious things and for not hating the American like he was supposed to. It hurt him to hurt Mark. But then again, was he really capable of hurting the foreigner? Could Mark be affected by anything he said or did to him? Who was Mark? A monster or a human being? The writer never felt so confused in his life. He counted to ten, inhaled and exhaled. He needed to keep his feelings in check before he followed the American.

To his dismal, Mark was already packing when he found him. The older’s uncaring, indifferent expression was quite noticeable. That was his usual impenetrable shield, the one Jinyoung believed he had been able to get past in some rare occasions. He had seen vulnerability in Mark the last time he saw him and he confirmed that Ito Hara was the Doll Collector of that horrific tale he once narrated to him. Jinyoung imagined that he could prove to the American that perhaps, he had feelings all along. But now the writer grimaced as he entered his bedroom and the seemingly stoic foreigner ignored his very presence. Mark was about to zip his bag when the younger swiftly yanked it away from him.

“Give me the fucking bag!” Mark snarled at him, as his eyes exploded with fiery emotion and suddenly his mask of impassivity fell. The author was almost relieved, at least the other felt something, at least he was angry. He was certainly more ‘alive’ than before.

“If you want it so much, come and get it then.” Jinyoung gave him a defying look. Mark didn’t move from his spot, but eyed his bag in frustration.

“I’m just gonna leave. Isn’t that what you want me to do? I’m sorry for being a clingy bitch that nags at you all the time. But don’t worry about it, I’m gonna spare you of my unnerving presence! Now give me the fucking bag!” Mark spat, giving him a vexed stare. The writer doubted everything about him now, but somehow, the mix of disappointment and distress in his eyes seemed sincere to him.

“You’re hurt, aren’t you? You’re actually bothered by what I said. You care! Of course you do. You might pretend that you don’t have emotions, but I know I can make you feel something. You actually missed me while I was away, right? Maybe this can work. I actually can make this work.” Jinyoung eyed him desperately, as if he struggled to decide what to believe and what to do.

“Jinyoung, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re not making any sense.” Mark looked lost now, as he threw his hands in the air.

“We are going out, Mark, and there’s no need to take this bag to the place you’re going.” A strangely collected Jinyoung said in an eerie tone. The other gasped.

“I can even imagine what’s going through your mind right now. You’re starting to have doubts again. What happened to the guy who told me that no one would change his opinion of me? I thought that this version of me now is what mattered to you. Let me guess, you’ve met Jia Er, haven’t you? You let him fuck with your head.” The unsettled American gave him a knowing look. The younger took a deep breath, and ignored his assumptions.

“Come with me and you’ll find out.” Jinyoung said in a strange tone, and dropped Mark’s bag on the floor. He extended one of his hands to the alarmed American across the room, but Mark hesitated to walk to him.

“Where are we going, Jinyoung?” he inquired sharply.

“Are you afraid of me, Mark? What do you think I’m gonna do to you? Are you mistaking me for someone else?” The author asked abruptly. The older scoffed and marched in his direction with confidence. Mark wondered if the Korean wanted a proof of his trust in him. Yet, he didn’t discard the possibility of dying that night. And that simple thought made him worry about his greatest priority.

“Bam is going to be fine, right? Even if you don’t honor our agreement, Yugyeom will look after him, won’t he? My friend had nothing to do with all the shit involving Jia Er, Soo Young and I. He mustn’t be harmed. That was the deal, remember?” Mark questioned in a murky voice. Jinyoung simply stared at him, speechless for a moment, and then he took a blindfold from the pocket of his suit.

“Put it on.” The Korean commanded coldly, as he handed him the fabric. Mark just nodded and obeyed. He remained silent as Jinyoung led him to his car by firmly grabbing his arm. The drive wasn’t long. Jinyoung was not surprised by the way Mark robotically did everything he told him to. He already got used to the American's modus operandi. Whenever the atmosphere turned too heavy, whenever danger threatened to engulf him, whenever fear hurried to envelop his being completely, an unfeeling shroud of passivity would take hold of him, as if nothing could really perturb the detached soul long gone from that body. Mark emptied himself of typical traces of humanity.

When they stepped out of the car, Mark muttered quietly, "Such a waste of gasoline and time. Do you really have to drive me all the way here alive? If you intend to take my life, you can just slit my throat under the shade of a dark alley. That’s what Cam would’ve done." Although he couldn't see where they were, and didn't know why they were there, the American obviously assumed the worst. He could feel the cool night air brush against his cheeks. It had been a while since he had been outside. It felt almost consoling to smell the street breeze.

"Don't be so hasty. We're here already, this won't take long. It will all be over soon." Jinyoung said, choosing not to comment on the older’s bad judgment. He did his best to maintain the ambiguity of his words and the vagueness of his actions. He longed to see Mark’s reaction as soon as he realized what was going on.

He tightened his grip on Mark's arm and carefully guided each step he took in the direction of their destination. Jinyoung wished for a moment that trust was the reason which made the older keep that blindfold on and allow himself to be dragged away to that unknown place. But the author knew about the American's trust issues, and the fact that Mark was not resisting, nor screaming or fighting him in that situation, meant that the older's trust was something Jinyoung would have to work hard to obtain. The comment he made about Cameron also bothered the Korean. He hated to be compared to him. He believed that Mark was still unable to see the difference between him and the others who once shared his bed and ruined his life. If the older imagined that he would be capable of dragging him to some dark alley and slit his throat, the author concluded that he indeed required more time to know him better. And the younger was ready to give him as much time he needed. Jackson suggested 6 months, but Jinyoung knew he could accomplish his task earlier than that. How long it would take for someone who had a tragic love life in the past trust one enough to fall in love again? He had no idea. He would have to find out that answer while he worked on his new private ‘project’, A.K.A, phase 2.

Mark heard the sound of a key turning into a lock, and he wondered what kind of sick game Jackson had in store for him. For some reason he assumed that whatever was about to happen, it was not the Korean's doing, because the Chinese was probably the one forcing the younger's hand. Mark couldn't blame Jinyoung for not keeping his promise. He could already predict that kind of outcome as soon as the writer left his apartment to meet Soo Young's former fiancé. Not letting Jackson get to him was too much to ask from the author. After all, Mark knew the kind of guy the Chinese was. His thoughts came to a halt when Jinyoung instructed him to remove the blindfold.

"I'd rather keep it on." Mark whispered, not really interested to know how he would meet his fate.

"Don't be a scaredy cat. Just go ahead and look around you." Jinyoung said in a hurried voice. Mark sighed and finally obliged. The moment the blindfold was off, darkness surrounded him. He couldn't even see the younger or himself in the vast absence of light that embraced them.

"Are we in hell?" He asked emotionlessly. He actually didn’t know what to think. Since Jinyoung snapped at him at the apartment, he felt like he was living another level of nightmare. Cameron used to drive him around without telling him where they were going or what they were going to do. The dealer used to keep him in the dark most of the time. However, when he really wanted to intimidate him, his threats were quite straightforward. Although the author was being suspenseful like Mark’s former lover, Jinyoung was taking too long to state his ominous intentions.

"You tell me." The Korean replied as he turned on the lights and the other could finally realize where they were.

"What's this?" The older furrowed his brows and blinked a few times, as his eyes struggled to get used to the sudden luminosity of the establishment.

"Can't you tell? I thought that you, above anyone else would be able to guess where we are." The younger snorted.

"You brought me to an empty bar? What for? Is Jia Er meeting us here? Is this the setting of the final chapter of his revenge?" An expression of uncertainty was etched on the American's face, as his eyes examined the place. The huge bar had a cozy atmosphere, not too formal, not too casual, and as far as he could see, there were no threats lurking in the dark yet.

"Relax already! I only brought you here to show you the place, and give you this, my gift to you." Jinyoung smirked as he waved a couple of keys in front of his face. The confusion in the older's expression was clear.

"Jinyoung, what is this supposed to mean?" Mark’s patience was wearing thin, as he shook his head in frustration. When Jinyoung took one of his hands and put the keys in his palm, he couldn’t help but shiver. The brief contact of those fingers almost managed to calm him down.

"This is your new 777 Ways. I bought it for you a few days ago, you just have to sign your name on the papers and start redecorating if you want to. You can be your own boss again. Now tell me, how do you like your knew working place?" The Korean's grin was not enough to make the other feel relieved. Jinyoung knew that. He was still trying to get used to the idea that there were two Marks in front of him, the one Jackson told him about and the version the American himself presented to him most of the time. Jinyoung didn’t know who was lying, so he decided to join their game and find out who was playing dirty. He would let his Chinese friend believe that phase 2 of the revenge was already in progress while he tried to ‘seduce’ Mark. That way, Jackson would keep his distance from the American. On the other hand, Jinyoung would also let the American think that he hadn’t changed his opinion of him, that he hadn’t read about a version of him that made him sick to his stomach, nor heard another terrible tale regarding the Collector’s Case. The files he read at Jackson’s house painted a quite different picture of the Mark he saw as a victim. The Korean was convinced that sooner or later, he would be able to tell if Mark was really the monster Jackson claimed he was, or simply a very troubled man. He just needed to gain his trust first, and then whatever the foreigner was willing to offer him.

"Are you kidding me? Where's the torture room, the thugs, the chains, the guns and knives? Where's Jia Er?" Mark refused to see what was in front of him. His mind was still unable to comprehend that Jinyoung meant him no harm at that moment.

"Forget Jack. He’s overseas. He had an important business to attend in Hong Kong. I know you must be curious about our chat. But I never got to see him that afternoon. He canceled our meeting and left the country in a hurry. I'm not sure how long he'll be there, but he promised me not to let his 'employees' do anything before he comes back." The Korean said, putting on his best act. Mark remained silent for a second as he examined the younger's features.

"You're lying." The American stated emphatically. Jinyoung was startled by the confidence in his voice, but he wouldn't let it show. He was aware that even if he tried to find the right vocabulary to enrich his comforting lies and adorn the false truths he was about to spout, it still wouldn't be enough to fully conquer his trust.

"Am I?" Jinyoung asked, and unaware of his own actions, he let his body answer the American's real question. And such question had nothing to do with whether or not the author had met the Chinese, because even if he had, what mattered to Mark was the promise Jinyoung made him before he left the apartment that day. Mark needed to know if Jackson was able to get to him, and turn the Korean against him. Mark was eager to know if he was nothing more than a target to the writer, like Jaebeom had implied earlier. Even though Jinyoung didn’t know which kind of answer would satisfy the older, he allowed himself to do what he had been restraining himself to do since he entered his office that evening. Take him into his arms. That was no acting. His feelings were still pure and they couldn’t be corrupted by past sins and dreadful revelations.


	26. Cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.” - Charles M. Schulz

Mark didn't move when Jinyoung placed one of his hands on his chest and eyed him intensely. As those fingers caressed his clothed torso, they slowly traveled to the spot which caged that feral muscle kicking and pulsating against his sternum. As his heartbeats increased, Mark felt all his invisible barriers crumble down, just to let the other in. He anticipated Jinyoung’s warmth as the younger leaned on him. Mark didn’t make a sound when the author lifted his chin and stared deeply into his eyes. However, when the younger’s tender lips gently descended on his, the American let out a pleasant moan as he lost himself in that action, and all his worries withered away with the movement of their mouths. He dropped the keys on the floor and started to slowly run his hands up and down the Korean’s back, while every single fondle of Jinyoung’s hands unraveled all kinds of emotions inside him. As the younger parted his lips and invaded his mouth, he explored him further. He longed for that reassurance he felt when the Korean kissed him on the balcony of his apartment nine days ago. That unlimited feeling of acceptance and deliverance, that unsealed possibility of something called happiness, and that rare promise of permanent peace intoxicated him. And he wanted to feel more of it, to drown in it, completely. He craved for that reunion of limbs and tongues, that familiar sensation of belonging in those arms, of being a real human, capable of hoping and dreaming. Jinyoung provided him all of that, with the same vigor as before, but with an enhanced passion that denounced the days they had been apart from each other.

Mark buried both his hands in the Korean’s hair and pulled him closer, deeper into him. The Korean carefully pushed him against the counter of the bar and pressed his hips against the older’s. He soon confirmed that they were both hard. He smiled into the kiss when he heard another muffled moan escape from the other’s throat and he himself felt his desire build up when Mark’s hands sneaked behind him and squeezed his buttocks. He abandoned his lips swiftly to assault the American’s neck and listen to more of the erotic sounds flowing out of him. He breathed, sucked, licked and scrapped his teeth over the sensitive skin. Jinyoung continuously whispered sweet nothings to his ear, and even though the Korean language hindered the American’s understanding of what was being said to him, he felt all the hairs of his body stand up due to the sexy groans and arousing mewls gushing from the younger’s mouth. The older felt his legs weaken when Jinyoung mercilessly bit at the joint between his shoulder and neck. The writer fought for more access to his collarbone, so he hungrily helped Mark remove his sweatshirt. His suit soon joined the garment thrown on the floor of the bar.

After admiring the older’s bare chest for a couple of seconds, the author ran his lips and tongue around Mark’s nipples. The older moaned loudly, and pulled his face for a kiss again. He gently squeezed Jinyoung’s lips with his teeth and then slowly pulled back so that author’s lips slowly slid through his teeth. Lust blinded Jinyoung as he grinded his hips against Mark’s with more urgency. His hands had already sneaked into the older’s sweatpants and they stroked a certain spot between his buttocks. Mark was on fire when he took the Korean’s earlobe between his lips and start tugging it gently. At the same time, he wrapped his hands behind the younger’s ears and rubbed his fingers through the back of his hair. The younger groaned.

“Jinyoungie, I missed you so bad. I missed you in ways you will never know. Would it make any sense if I told you that I missed you even before I met you? I have this strange feeling that I missed you even before I was born. I guess I missed you even while I was unaware of your existence. I missed every part of you, every day. I probably missed you in all my previous lives.” A panting Mark whispered, basking in the heat and rhythm of their bodies. However, as soon as the words were out, he felt Jinyoung’s body suddenly tense against his. He wondered if he had scared him with his words. He feared having spoiled that passionate reunion.

The writer pulled back from him just a little to look into his eyes. He seemed to study him for a while. No one had never said something like that to him, and he never dreamed of hearing something like that from the American. He thought of the days they had been apart. He thought of how troubled he became when Jackson and he left Seoul Forest. He remembered of how angry, disgusted and scared he felt when he read the files the Chinese had hid from him. He remembered how his mind was polluted with murderous thoughts during the days he spent in Jackson’s company. He thought of how relieved he was when he got his blood test results, but he still wished he had never met Mark. He remembered of how he firmly asserted Soo Young’s former fiancé that he would take care of phase 2 of their revenge. On the fourth and fifth day of their ‘planning’, it was agreed that making Mark fall totally in love with him was their goal now. The bar would be just one of Jinyoung’s strategies to convince Mark of his devotion to him. The bar was another version of that blank check the author once gave to him in LA. It was supposed to bind him to him. The bar could make the American stay in Korea for sure. On the sixth and seventh day in Jackson’s house, he was already feeling too miserable to hate the American. He missed him like crazy, but he wouldn’t tell that to his obsessed friend. On the eight day of that nightmare, Jinyoung was ready to fully dedicate himself to his own private mission, find out who was lying to him. He promised himself that he would be neutral, that he wouldn’t take sides, and that he would not let his determination waver during that ‘assessment’. He had all planned out, until he entered his office that evening and laid his eyes on Mark one more time. He wondered if he would be able to keep his cool and lie to his face while pretending to execute the Chinese’s plans.

“Can I show you, how deeply I missed you? Right here, on the counter of this bar?” Jinyoung asked expectantly, as he felt like crying. He didn’t know why, but if Mark refused that request, he felt like he would really weep. Fortunately, the American nodded and smiled to him. The Korean was confident that it would be all right to touch the foreigner again. The medical records Jackson showed him could be fake, but he had already taken his precautions just in case they weren’t. He was not sure if Mark was indeed HIV positive or if his viral load was _undetectable. But he_ was on PrEP, he was taking his Truvada pill daily, and even if Mark was really HIV positive, his risk of being infected was almost zero. After the Korean tested negative for the virus, his doctor informed him that he could continue having sex with his HIV-positive partner, as long as he made a consistent and correct use of the medication and got tested regularly. She emphasized the importance of knowing the HIV status of his partner. She assured him that if his partner viral load was undetectable, he couldn’t pass the virus to him through unprotected sex. The writer knew through Jackson that Mark was taking ART, but he couldn’t know if Mark’s viral load was undetectable at that moment. His doctor also advised him to combine the use of PrEP with condoms to further reduce his risk of infection. However, he and Mark never used any kind of protection, and if he started using condoms now, the foreigner would obviously get suspicious. He still kept reminding himself that all that headache could be avoided if he knew for sure whether or not the American had the virus, but he wasn’t going to ask Mark about it now. So yeah, he just went for it, and tried not to think about those medical records the Chinese showed him at his house. That task wasn’t so difficult. The more he looked at Mark, the more he convinced himself that it would be impossible not to want him. If there was anything destructive about the older, whatever it was, he thought that he could deal with it.

Mark trembled when he felt the younger’s breath against his naked legs and thighs as soon as the writer pulled down his sweatpants and boxers down all at once. The writer was on his knees, appreciating the view when the self-conscious American ruffled his hair.

“It’s cold, Jinyoungie. Keep me warm.” He whispered, as he felt Jinyoung’s place a gentle kiss on the tip of his erected penis before he stood up.

“I will, baby. Bend over. Let me prepare you.” Jinyoung said as he held firmly on his hips and turned him around, making him face the counter of the bar. He saw only Mark in his mind now and he felt like nothing could stain that image of him. As soon as Mark leaned on the counter and spread his legs, he felt Jinyoung’s hands all over his back and butt. The writer teased him with kisses and licks between his butt cheeks at first. The older couldn’t help but buck up his hips and stroke himself when he felt the younger’s tongue massage his hole. It was gentle at first, but the insistent wet muscle that stuck out of the Korean’s mouth became bolder as the sensitive orifice stretched a bit.

“N-Nyoungie, that’s too much. I wanna come with you.” Mark stuttered as he struggled not to stroke his penis too fast, since the precum coming out of it signaled him that he wouldn’t last long at that pace.

“Wait for me, babe.” Jinyoung whispered seductively between his thighs. Mark bit his lower lip and squeezed his dick to keep himself from coming at that very moment. Jinyoung quickly spit in his hand and coated his finger with his own saliva. When he felt one of his fingers slip inside the older’s anus without difficulty, he quickly inserted another finger in the American’s hungry hole. As the younger scissored him, Mark’s walls clenched and loosened around the determined fingers that entered and exited him nonstop.

“Fuck! Fuck me now. Just fuck me, please. Put your dick in me, Nyoungie. I can’t take it anymore.” The American begged ad he spread his legs a bit more and moaned loudly. The Korean quickly unbuckled and unzipped his pants. He didn’t even waste time to remove them completely. He pulled his hard and thick dick out of his underwear, covered it with spit and started pushing into the other’s willing hole.

“Open yourself to me, Markie. Let me in, let me go farther than anyone else has ever been, even in your previous lives. Take all of me.” Jinyoung whispered to him as he leaned on Mark’s back and managed to insert the tip successfully. Doing it without lube and without hurting Mark made him more careful than usual. Luckily, he felt the heat of Mark’s walls welcome him slowly with the help of more saliva, and he praised the gorgeous man under him for being the perfect vessel of his desire. “You’re great babe, you’re receiving me so well, that’s right, just like this, open wider and good for me, eat me and chew me, until I’m fully buried and cemented within you. Until there’s nothing else to miss, but this delightful ache ready to dissolve in maddening pleasure.” The writer whispered against his ear, feeling the other tremble in anticipation.

“There’s enough room for you in me already. Make yourself at home.” The American whined, as the younger slowly filled him with pleasure. “Shit, I’ll be your permanent home. Just come in already.” Mark breathed out and with a rough, but precise movement of his hips, he took him in completely. Jinyoung growled as he found himself buried deep inside Mark. He felt like remaining in that position forever, but his desire to possess that man he had just penetrated forced him to move. It didn’t take long for him to start pounding into the older. The latter met his thrusts eagerly, as he held onto the counter of the bar.

“I wanna see your face when you come. I wanna see the look in your eyes when I plant my seed in my new home. I wanna watch the reddening of your cheeks when you feel my seed spread inside you.” The author said as he pulled out of a whining Mark. He quickly turned the enraptured American to face him, and made him lay on the counter. He climbed on top of him and crawled between his legs, putting one of them over his shoulder. Soon he pushed inside the older again, increasing the movements of their hips. Mark whimpered as Jinyoung stroked his dick and impaled him harder. The author continuously hit his prostrate in that angle, and after so much stimulation, he knew he was close.

“N-nyoungie, I’m gonna come.” Mark stuttered, and the writer hurried to give him a sloppy peck.

“Yeah, me too. Scream for me, my love.” Jinyoung whispered, and the sweet endearment was enough to make the older ejaculate all over the Korean’s hand and his own stomach. Mark did scream his name and the younger shoot his load inside him at the same time.

“Welcome home.” Mark mumbled, as he closed his eyes and tried to control his breath. Jinyoung collapsed on him, and rested his head on chest, listening to the older’s heartbeats. Even though he was totally spent, he didn’t feel like taking his cock out of the older yet, he just wished to stay inside him a bit more.

“I’m glad to be home.” He said as he lifted his head a bit and spread kisses on the spot of the American’s chest where his heart was still doing multiple somersaults. The younger’s lips moved gently and slowly. The gesture was so sweet that made the older sigh in contentment. It took a while for Mark to find his voice again.

"Nine days… Nine days without this. Do you know what your absence did to me? It crippled my own presence. I barely left your room. I waited for a call, or simply a text. I stayed inside the apartment as I promised. I didn’t opened the door for any stranger, and every time Bam and Gyeom came back from a date, I rushed down the stairs thinking that it could be you. That was some cruel, and sick game you played, Jin. A brand new bar can never compensate me for those days of silence and negligence. I don’t want any gifts, I want you close to me. I don’t know what you were thinking. I never asked you to for it, this bar must have cost-”

“I don’t intend to tie you down. This is not the same mistake of your past. I am not him. Don't miss this opportunity for us. I am making room for you in my life like I said I would. I'm giving you the chance to start over in this city, with me. You'll have your own business, you'll earn your own money, and you won't ever have to feel like you owe me anything. I need you around in order to make you now me. Perhaps, with time, you can decide if it was really worth knowing the real Park Jinyoung.” The author meant every word he said. At that moment, whatever history Mark had with Soo Young, it wasn’t relevant anymore. He wasn’t thinking of Jackson, nor he cared about JB’s opinion regarding his resolution. For the first time in a long time, he only thought of his happiness and he believed he could achieve that with the foreigner by his side. He could live with an HIV positive partner, he could ignore the American’s tenebrous past, he could face the hardships of dating a male foreigner who used to be a criminal and a drug user, and he could forgive him for all the lies he told him, couldn’t he? Really, couldn’t he? At that moment, he thought he could at least give it a try.

“Knowing you is exactly what I’ve been doing all this time. I haven’t regretted it so far.” Mark declared softly, as he played with a few strands of the younger’s hair. “Maybe I can consider starting over here in Seoul with you. If that’s what you really want, I can make an effort. I can still visit America once a month to keep Cam at bay, that can be arranged. But I’m not keeping the bar.”

“That’s a pity. Bambam will be disappointed. He told me the place would be perfect for the two of you when I brought him here yesterday. Yugyeom even promised to help out, until you guys get used to the language. He volunteered to be your and Bam’s interpreter. Of course you’ll have to hire more employees since the place is quite big, but-”

“Wait?! Are you for real, or this is a joke?” Mark raised an eyebrow at him.

“He said that if you don’t sign the papers, he will.” Jinyoung grinned, as he remembered the Thai’s enthusiasm when he secretly showed him the place. The older was obviously surprised.

“Wow, you’re not stupid. You go behind my back, get my best friend’s approval, buy me stuff, fuck me like a champ…This is more than a blank check. What’s next? A proposal?” Mark raised an eyebrow at the younger and chuckled.

“Let’s date first. How about that?” Jinyoung suggested and his playful tone was gone. The serious expression on his face denounced the sincerity of the question. The older became quiet for a long minute then sighed.

“We still have a lot of things to work out. Jaebeom hates me, Jia Er wants to kill me, Youngjae probably thinks I’m a hooker, and-”

“What!? Why would Jae think that?” The writer was obviously taken aback now, and he finally took his dick out of the older.

“I happened to kiss JB. But I was just trying to prove a point.” Mark said casually, somewhat relieved by the sudden change of topic. That dating subject made him feel jittery.

“What the fuck, Mark! What is it that you were trying to prove?! When did this happen?” Jinyoung asked firmly, as he climbed off him and started to get dressed. He cleaned the cum on himself with his suit jacket and then threw it at Mark signaling him to do the same.

“This evening, in your office. Look, Jinyoung, chill. It wasn’t even a proper lip-lock, and he didn’t even kiss me back. Seriously, it was not a big deal. His husband saw everything and I already apologized, we’re cool.” The American hurried to clarify as he sat up on the counter and reached for his clothes.

“That’s fucked! Why did you do it?” the Korean gave him a ludicrous look.

“I’m sorry, but he was getting on my nerves. He told me to leave you, to never see you again, like it was that simple! So, I kinda showed him for a few seconds how it felt like to be forced to leave someone that really matters. I knew his husband was there. For an instant, I made JB terrified of losing Jae. I showed him what I could do if he tried to come between us. And that was just a warning.” While Mark explained himself, Jinyoung listened to him attentively. He was convinced that there was a side of that man which would never fail to surprise him. He was not sure if that was the same Mark Tuan Jackson talked about, but he had the feeling that the foreigner was the kind of person one should not take lightly. He was often unpredictable _ **,**_ usually evasive, and too secretive. He could make people change his opinion of him in the blink of an eye. He just couldn’t change how Jinyoung felt about him yet. At that point, the Korean didn’t think anyone was capable of that. Not even his late sister. Soo Young’s ghost could appear before him now and blame all her misfortunes on the American, but still, she could not undo what Mark had done to him. He was his captive and that cage he was in felt just like home.

“They’re married, they are my friends. Don’t do that again. That’s my warning to you.” Jinyoung gave him a stern look.

“Are you mad because I got to kiss your old crush? Don’t be jealous, he’s not a good kisser at all. You’re not missing out.” The American said sarcastically as he also started to get dressed. Deep down he wanted to know if the author was jealous of him or the editor.

“Mark, what the hell!? Come on, just shut up and let’s go.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes at him, picked up the bar keys from the floor and put it in his pocket. The American clicked his tongue and eyed him nonchalantly.

“Why should I go with you? I was about to leave your apartment when you brought me here. By the way, you’re an asshole for mentioning Cam before. You kinda went too far with your acting. If you really wanted to surprise me with a bar, you didn’t have to pretend to be a prick. I had no idea why you suddenly snapped at me like that. By the way, I’m not clingy at all! Of course your words hurt me, and I really thought we were having our first serious argument since we became a couple. I was ready to drop your ass and go back to the U.S.-”

“Since we became a couple?” Jinyoung was agape for a second and then he just beamed.

“That’s not what I meant. Stop smiling like that, it’s unnerving.” A nervous Mark finished getting dressed, crossed his arms, and looked away.

“We are a couple.” Jinyoung smiled even more, and this time, he flaunted his adorable dimples. Mark sighed in frustration.

“Maybe.” He huffed, and ran a hand through his hair.

“We are dating and we’re a couple.” The Korean added, as he walked to him.

“If you say so.” The uncertain American chewed on his lips.

“We’re boyfriends.” The younger insisted, as he reached for his hand and entwined his fingers in his.

“Yeah, right.” Mark finally agreed, and tried not to show how much that simple word overwhelmed him at that moment, or how the younger’s touch set fire to his skin.

“Say it. I wanna hear you say it, babe.” Jinyoung begged, as he laid a gentle kiss on Mark’s nose, and another on his cheek. The American quickly pulled him into his arms. While he embraced him, Mark tried not to succumb to those hands sweeping his lower back, but he still said what the other wanted to hear.

“You’re my boyfriend, and I’m yours.” The older whispered gently in his ear. “But I won’t keep the bar.”

“My boyfriend is so stubbornly cute. It makes me sad that you refuse to keep my gift. But you cannot refuse to keep me.” He said softly and gave him a peck on the lips without disentangling his limbs from him. “I feel special now. You didn’t check out while we were doing it. You stayed with me the whole time. You were completely focused on us, your eyes never wavered. Thank you for that.” Jinyoung’s magnetic orbs mystified him.

“Don’t be weird. That’s not something you should be thanking me for. Let’s get out of here. You worn me out. Take me home.” Mark declared, as he gripped the younger by the arm and dragged him out of the bar.

When they returned to Jinyoung's apartment, Bambam and Yugyeom were sitting in the living room waiting for them with a bottle of champagne and a couple of glasses on the coffee table.

As soon as the couple noticed them come in, they started cheering and Bambam ecstatically dragged Mark by the arm and brought him to sit with him on the couch.

"So, what did you think of it? Isn't the place amazing? I can't believe he did that!" Bambam exclaimed, as he squeezed Mark's hands in his and briefly eyed the two cousins whispering to each other in Korean across the room.

"Bam, I told him I can't keep the bar." Mark told his best friend, as he gave the younger a decisive look.

"Oh, come on, don't be an idiot. Why not?" Bambam looked shocked.

"You know why, Bam." Mark sighed. "Accepting a gift like that is not the synonym of taking things slow."

"Shit, I wish we didn't have that talk." The Thai muttered in a disappointed tone and pouted.

"I'm glad we did. You were right. Jinyoung and I ought to get to know each other better, before making big decisions." The American gave his friend a reassuring look and hoped that the Thai could understand his reasons. As expected, Bambam offered him a sympathetic smile and nodded. 

"I respect that. You're being responsible and sensible. I don't know if I would be able to reject such a grandiose gesture from my boyfriend though." Bambam grinned and added, "Your Korean lover is investing hard in this relationship. I mean, you know why he did what he did, right?" 

"He wants to buy me? Perhaps, become my sugar daddy?" Mark suggested playfully and the younger rolled his eyes at him. Jinyoung had already stated his reasons for purchasing that bar, but Mark would like to hear his friend's opinion about it.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's obvious he wants you to stay. He wants more than a fling, he's not a fuckboy and he's definitely not a sugar daddy. Sugar daddies continuously buy you stuff to keep you dependent on them forever, in exchange of your body, of course. That's not what this guy is doing. Jinyoung bought you a working place, so you don't have to depend on him, so you can buy your own stuff. You've just found yourself a keeper, my dear Markie. Actually, I've been watching him, and I wouldn't let Mr. Bestselling writer woo my best friend if I sensed he was a player. I can tell he's serious about you." The Thai saw the two cousins approach them and quickly whispered to the older, "By the way, he can't be your sugar daddy, since he's younger than you. Get over yourself." Bambam teased as he winked at the American, who now had a pensive expression on his face. His heart started beating faster for some unknown reason. A warm feeling filled his chest now that he had heard Bambam's impressions about the writer. He always valued the Thai's point of view, and although Bambam was younger than him, he was usually right about people. He rarely made bad judgment calls.

"Hyung just told me about the news, Mark hyung. That's a pity. I was kinda optimistic about the whole bar business thing. I even promised Bam I would help out. Are you sure you don't wanna take some time to rethink your decision?" A disheartened Yugyeom commented as he sat beside the American. That old fear of missing big opportunities crushed Mark, and for a moment it battled against his immense fear of repeating the same mistakes.

"Stop, Gyeom-ah. I told you not to pressure him, remember?" A tired Jinyoung chimed in, as he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck and eyed the envelope on the coffee table next to the champagne. 

"What's that?" Mark asked, noticing how the Korean's dejected eyes linger on it.

"The papers we assumed you would sign. We were ready to celebrate as soon as you guys came in. But I guess we won't be opening the champagne anymore." Bambam replied a little dispirited.

"We still can." Mark whispered, loud enough for the others to hear him. He thought he was insane for doing that, for letting his fear of missing big opportunities win.

"Can what?!" Yugyeom had a hopeful look on his face.

"Open the champagne. This can still happen, with one condition, of course." Mark said thoughtfully. The suspense in the air made the trio focus their attention exclusively on him.

"Name it." A wide-eyed Jinyoung said quickly as he kneeled in front of him.

"If my best friend signs his name right next to mine. I require Kunpimook Bhuwakul to become my business partner. We'll run that bar together, as owners and co-workers." Mark stated his condition with a smile on his face. Bambam's eyes pricked with tears when he jumped on the American and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. An exultant Yugyeom was already singing and performing a victory dance in the middle of the living room.

"What do you say, Mr. Bhuwakul? Are you ready to sign some papers?" Jinyoung beamed at the scene before him. The Thai kept screaming 'yes' repetitively without letting go of Mark. The latter laughed at his friend’s antics and the Korean couldn't help but realize how he had missed that joyous sound coming out of the older. When Mark's eyes met his, he knew. He knew what he felt for him right there, and there was no way he could deny that to himself anymore. The word popped in his head a couple of times whenever he was around Mark or whenever the American was in his mind. He was not confused like before. He knew for sure, he just didn't know why he was sure. Maybe it was because of the nine days they stayed away from each other, maybe it was because of the goosebumps he felt when Mark told him that he missed him 'in ways he would never know'. Maybe it was because the older confessed he had kissed JB and made Youngjae jealous in order to punish the editor for trying to get between them. Maybe it was because Mark was willing to make room for him in his heart and stay in Korea. Maybe it was due to the wave of completeness he felt when he was inside him on the counter of that bar earlier. Maybe it was due to the admirable display of faith of the American, how he had finally put his trust on him now that he decided to sign the papers. Maybe it was due to the purity he saw emanating from his eyes now, the rich pitch of his laugh, his magnificent expression of happiness, or simply the mere sight of him. All of Mark. The man overwhelmed him. The words simply spilled out of his mouth.

“사랑해요.” Jinyoung whispered quietly, as he gazed at Mark sitting on that couch of his apartment. No one in that room heard him utter those words, he told them to himself, like a soothing prayer, and the mere sound of those syllables enchanted his ears. It felt amazingly liberating just to pronounce them.

"Let's celebrate, guys!" Bambam had finally released the American and was already opening the champagne. Yugyeom finished his hilarious dance number, and also hugged Mark, whose eyes continuously glanced at the quiet writer. When Jinyoung noticed that his cousin and the Thai had finally removed themselves from his path, he threw himself at the older an ended up on his lap.

"Don't I get a hug too?" Jinyoung pouted and opened his arms, waiting for the older to hold him. Yugyeom and Bambam smirked at each other as they watched Mark embrace the writer.

"You deserve more than a hug, sir." Mark whispered very close to his ear and with a swift movement of his head he captured Jinyoung's lips. He was surprised by the fact that Jinyoung deepened the kiss and glued their bodies together even though the youngsters were right the witnessing that intimate embrace.

"Jesus Christ, they're gonna do it right here in front of us." Yugyeom giggled as he covered his eyes with both hands.

"Well, you told me you saw your cousin sucking my best friend's cock the other day. You're already scarred anyways. I'm just gonna enjoy the show. I really don't mind watching they tear each other's clothes off. These two are kinda hot together, don't you think?" Bambam asked shamelessly and an amused Yugyeom chuckled. The couple being teased quickly broke their intense kiss, though Jinyoung refused to let go of Mark. 

"Let's go upstairs. I want you in my bed, in our bed, now." Jinyoung secretively whispered to the American, who instantaneously flushed. The way he uttered 'our bed' made the older gasp. The Korean had never been so bold in front of others, not even in LA where they pretended to have a relationship in front of the youngsters.

"Again? But we just did it at the bar." A shy Mark whispered back, trying not to let the others listen to their mutterings.

"Let's do it some more. I wanna feel like home again. Take me home, babe." Jinyoung suggested sexily, as he discretely licked the nape of Mark's neck, and run his hand over his chest. Bambam and Yugyeom didn't notice his lascivious action, but the way Mark bit his lips and his ears reddened even more, gave them away.

"Oh, man! What did you say to him to make him blush like that, hyung?" Yugyeom snorted, shaking his head at his cousin. Jinyoung simply ignored him and pulled the older impossibly closer to him.

“You’re embarrassing me. Get off my lap.” Mark whined, but didn’t push him away. The writer would have attacked his lips again and carried him upstairs if it wasn't for the Thai who cleared his throat beside them.

"Look, you guys can go upstairs and fuck all night long, but we've gotta make a toast first." Bambam announced as he handed each one of them a glass of champagne and made all of them stand up.

“To love and success!” Yugyeom exclaimed as he planted a kiss on Bambam’s cheek.

"To a new beginning." Mark declared as he gave the excited writer a peck on the lips and everybody in the room raised their glasses and toasted to that promise of better days, for all of them.

Phase 2 of Jackson's revenge supposedly had a great start.


	27. Boyfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think to feel this happy is to be miserable, to feel this much satisfaction is to burn.”- Anne Rice

Waking up beside his new boyfriend was a mix of heaven and hell. He feared being too happy, but he also felt like he couldn’t help but feel happy. He felt guilty for being blessed by such happiness, because he felt that he didn’t deserve it, yet he still swore to himself that he would protect that happiness as much as he could. A sleeping Mark was a beautiful sight to witness. It made his heart rejoice with contentment, though his head throbbed painfully. Both he and the American had drank so much last night that when they reached their bedroom, they immediately fell asleep. Jinyoung didn’t regret drinking that much, after all, he was officially dating the older now, Mark owned his own bar again, he was staying in Korea, and he wouldn’t be leaving his bed any soon.

If things were that simple, he would be in paradise. However, feeling hangover wasn’t the main factor that made him partially miserable that morning. The headache he felt at that moment also tormented him for other reasons. Besides the supposed new beginning for him and his boyfriend, yesterday’s celebration in his apartment also meant two other things. Jackson would be convinced that the author was doing his best to proceed with phase 2 of their plan, and at the same time, even though Jinyoung intended to find out who was really the liar in that story, somewhat, he was already betraying Mark’s trust.

Jinyoung was the one who claimed that no one would make him change his opinion of the American. He was the one who assured Mark that his words stood above anyone else’s, and were the only ones he was willing to read. He said that the present Mark was the original he chose to keep. And only now, he realized that he had lied to the foreigner. His private ‘project’ was a proof of that. He didn’t fully trust neither Mark nor Jackson. He felt bad about it, because he loved those two very much, and he couldn’t bring himself to nullify their stories. Jinyoung saw himself as a man of principles, and even though his heart tried to convince him of the veracity of Mark’s story, he couldn’t ignore the files he read at Jackson’s house. Several ‘revelations’ still haunted him more than anything. Mark was supposedly Ito Hara's right hand. He was responsible for increasing the Collector's 'items' by working as a Doll Hunter, one who sought, selected and delivered new 'assets' to the Collector's Case. He would often provide drugs to people who couldn't pay for it, and once the user was full of debts, they were taken to the Collector. He would also seduce men and women alike who were looking for a good time and lure them to the Case. Because of him, people disappeared or turned up dead in random alleys. Cameron Zhou seemed to be his perfect match. As a matter of fact, the Zhou character turned out to be quite different from the man Jinyoung was led to believe that he was. Unlike the terrible picture Mark had painted of him, those files showed that Cameron was just one of Mark's many victims. Yes, he was the one who had dragged Mark to 777 Ways, but he didn't expect Mark to fit so well in that dangerous area of Downtown LA. It seemed that the American’s meeting with Hara had awakened a dark side of Mark that Cameron had no idea that his lover possessed.

Even in college, Mark already showed signs that proved how good he was at illegal activities. Apparently, he wasn't very careful at hiding drugs in his dorm, and some student ended up ratting him out to the dean. Mark then planted drugs at the dean's office and warned the man to keep his mouth shut, otherwise he'd tell the authorities that he was buying drugs from him. Mark also found out who was the student that 'badmouthed' him. As a payback, Mark gathered some of Cameron's friends to beat up the snitch, after thrashing his car. The young man was beaten so badly that he lost the sight of one eye.

Another chilling information that shocked Jinyoung was regarding the intricate connection between Mark and the Doll Collector. It seemed that Mark had more than a business relationship with Hara. They also slept together and sometimes the American accompanied the Japanese man to some important meetings he had with his associates. Mark was supposed to provide them 'entertainment' whenever a deal was closed. Hara wouldn't share Mark with anyone though, just with very special partners, and VIPs. Hara ‘recognized’ Mark's value and even Cameron who worked for him longer than Mark, was demoted. The Collector also forbid Cameron to see Mark, but they still met secretly.

At some point, Mark became greedier and also confident that he played an important role in the Collector's Case, after all, he provided the 'goods' which increased Hara's collection. 777 Ways was blooming, his job as a Doll Hunter was often praised by Hara, but Mark was underpaid. He knew that Hara never gave him too much money nor power for a reason. He saw in Mark a potential rival in that business, so he always made sure that Mark wouldn't have enough to fend for himself. Not happy with the unfairness of it all, Mark stole money from the Case and planned to run away with Bambam and Cameron. Unfortunately, Daniel Stravos, one of the Collector’s employees at the time, found out, and informed the owner. Mark was then penalized by Hara. He spent a month being a rentable Doll at the Case. Some called that kind of punishment a 'training camp for deserters'. Hara was known to get rid of anyone who betrayed him, but since he was quite 'fond' of Mark, he kept him alive, as his expensive whore. In that place Mark became quite famous, since worshippers lined up for him, and everyone wanted to try the Case's American- Taiwanese new acquisition. Many costumers were eager to have a chance to play with Hara's favorite toy, the one he named, China Doll. Mark worked 24/7 those days, his body and mind had to be ‘treated’ thoroughly. According to the files, hypnosis was used on Mark to enhance his capacity of responding to suggestion. And he went through all the required ‘processes’ to become a proper Doll. All the procedures within such processes, are still unknown. It's was not possible to determine when Mark was infected by the HIV virus either, but his medical records show that he was tested positive even before he joined the Collector's Case.

The Collector’s Case was dismantled by one of Hara’s rival in the Neighborhood. But that was only possible because Mark slowly destroyed the Case from the inside and acted as an informant for Hara’s rival, whom Daniel Stravos and Cameron Zhou secretly started to work for. Mark convinced many of his Doll worshippers to break him out of there, and also managed to help other Dolls escape. A great fire ruined the Collector’s Case, but some witnesses claimed that it was Mark who killed Hara in person. A rumour surfaced in their circle that the Collector’s precious China Doll stabbed his genitals 777 times, before locking him up with the Programmer, The Repairer and several Doll Hunters in the Repair Shop. Mark supposedly left them there until the fire from the Case spread and consumed their bodies.

After the place burned to the ground, Mark returned to 777 Ways and decided to make some radical changes in the place. Apparently, Mark wanted to take over the bar and his uncle was an obstacle. A trustable source claimed that Mark’s uncle didn't die from Alzheimer. It was said that Mark made Cameron Zhou murder the old man as a 'proof of his love for him’ as soon as he broke out of Hara’s ‘training camp’. Cameron killed Mark’s uncle as he requested, and tried to resume his relationship with Mark, but the latter ended up scheming up a plan to get him arrested. Apparently, Mark blamed everything that happened to him on Cameron, so he believed that it was time for retaliation. He promised Cameron he would give him another chance if the dealer showed him another proof of his love for him one last time.

Messing with rich people made Cameron uneasy, but his lover promised him that no harm would come to them, since he was part of the family. This time they were supposed to drive to the Tuans’ house and kill everyone in there. Mark told him that their privileged life indirectly cost him his humanity, and that now the members of his family were the ones who had a debt with him. Mark made Cameron believe that such a debt should be paid with blood.

Zhou had no idea that Mark had called his brother to help him and set a trap for the dealer. As soon as the pair got to the Tuan’s house, the police arrived shortly due to an ‘anonymous call’. Zhou pulled a gun and shot a cop to help Mark escape. And he did. Even after Zhou was arrested, Mark was not done with his revenge. He monthly paid someone inside the prison, which the dealer was sent, to make the his life hell. Zhou was monthly subjected to gang rape, beatings, and all kinds of violence one could imagine inside his own cell.

After a while, Mark’s revenge had to be interrupted, since the new boss of the Neighborhood, the one who rose to power after the deterioration of Hara’s domain, made Zhou his protégée inside the prison. The new boss of the Neighborhood aimed to expand his alliances with other criminal organizations, so he needed Zhou alive. Tables turned again, Cameron regained some power among the gangs in prison, he ruled great part of the Neighborhood from there and since he was doing a great job, he requested some ‘favors’ from the new boss. Mark had to visit him in the penitentiary once a month, and during such ‘private’ visits, Zhou could demand from Mark unlimited sexual favors for the time limit of two hours. The new boss naturally agreed to his conditions, as long as Zhou didn’t hurt him too much. If the American didn’t comply, his whole family would be eliminated. Even though Zhou was allowed to get what he wanted from Mark, the new boss recognized that without Mark’s help, Hara wouldn’t be easily defeated, so he also granted him a couple of ‘privileges’. He allowed Mark to have a clean business, and turn 777Ways into a regular bar. Daniel Stravos was supposed to keep the bar’s safety, but Mark was also supposed to pay for that safety. Some minor gangs and some of Hara’s former associates still lurked around the Neighborhood and swore to rebuild the Collector’s reign. Mark was always a moving target in that place, but many believed that his connection with the new boss, Cameron Zhou, and Daniel Stravos kept him alive.

Mark’s story with Soo Young happened before Mark was sent to Hara’s training Camp. Like the American told Jinyoung before, he had met Soo Young in college, they indeed continued seeing each other after he dropped out, but Mark never mentioned that she had followed him once to one of his ‘deliveries’ and that he threatened to kill her if she kept stalking him. According to Jackson, Soo Young revealed to him everything that happened before she passed.

His late fiancée told him that Zhou had found out about her and Mark’s three-year relationship. As a result of that, Cameron took her and Mark for a ride in his car. He gave them a gun and made them play Russian Roulette. Both Mark and her pulled the trigger twice and luckily none of them died. The dealer stopped the game then and revealed to the pair that he was HIV positive. He claimed that he wasn’t sure if Mark was the one who gave him the virus, but if he had gotten it from someone else, he had probably given it to Mark too, since they never used condoms. According to her account of the facts, Cameron didn’t fail to tell her that since she kept fucking his boyfriend, she certainly got that small ‘gift’ from him too. Before he let them go, he gladly informed them that even though they didn’t die from that lethal game of chance, the three of them were already condemned to death. Afterwards, Mark got tested just to make sure that Zhou wasn’t deceiving them. His results were positive. She was already pregnant before that car ride happened and when Mark told her about his test results, she told Mark about the baby. He insisted that she should abort the child and get tested. Then they stopped seeing each other for a while. According to Jackson’s private investigators, Soo Young met Mark one last time at a hotel, and the following day, she committed suicide.

****

The Korean was still unable to blame the American for what happened to his sister. In his point of view, she was the one who got involved in all that mess and didn’t even ask for help. He thought that she could’ve reached to her family, or even the police. He thought that she could’ve just ran away from America, from Mark and everything that kept her there. He thought that even in that situation, pregnant and afraid, she should have never taken her own life. He thought that she could find a way out, a solution that wasn’t so harsh and so permanent. Jinyoung knew that the possibility of an HIV infection must’ve terrified her, but he believed that returning to Korea with the virus, pregnant and without finishing her studies was still a better scenario than a suicidal one.

Suddenly, being in that bed with Mark made him feel nauseated. He had just remembered that he had to take his Truvada, and he knew that alcohol could make its side-effects a little bit hard to deal with. However, he still got up from the bed and did what he had to do. He took a shower, he got dressed, he didn’t feel like eating anything, and then he eyed Mark on the bed again. His heart ached. He wanted to wake him up with kisses, tell him how he felt about him, wrap his arms around him and never let go. He also wanted to ask him if Jackson’s files were telling the truth. He needed Mark to deny all of it, so his mind could find peace. Yet, he couldn’t help but fear Mark’s reaction. What if the American was the one being honest since the beginning? Would the older even look him in the eye again once he realized he had doubted him? Would Mark convince himself that unfortunately one of biggest fears took form one more time? Would Mark consider his involvement with the author a repetition of his past mistake? Would Mark ever forgive him? Jinyoung didn’t have all the answers, and he felt like he needed a friend now. Even if he didn’t tell this friend all about his despair, even if he hid from him the doubts that clouded his troubled mind, Jinyoung could still tell him how his heart felt about Mark. About those feelings, he had no doubts anymore.

~~~~ Team Wang Publishing Co., Ltd, editor Lim Jaebeom’s office, 10 AM~

“It’s too early in the morning for a joke like that, Jin. Now tell me, who exactly is this friend of yours in Jinhae? Do I know him? Where you even in Jinhae all these days?” Jaebeom looked at him with worry, dismissing all the absurdities he had heard. The author suddenly showed up at Team Wang and walked into his office without notice. He looked anxious and extremely pale. Jinyoung briefly told him that they had a lot to talk about and he needed a good friend to listen to him. It had been a while since Jaebeom had seen Jinyoung say that he needed him simply as a listener and he felt somewhat relieved to hear that his dongsaeng still saw him as a friend who he could count on. However, as soon as they sat down and he started to listen to what Jinyoung had to say, he was unable to believe the author.

Jinyoung told him that he was not craving revenge anymore, and that he didn’t blame the foreigner in his apartment for Soo Young’s death. Jinyoung revealed that he had indeed developed feelings for Mark, although he had never thought such a thing could be possible. He claimed that getting intimate with the American was never part of any plan, and that Jackson had nothing to do with it. He denied that seducing Mark was part of the mission the Chinese gave him. He made clear that he and Mark were unexpectedly drawn to each other, and they just acted on those feelings. He assured the editor that he only took the older out of the United States to protect him, and he also intended to keep him safe in Korea. Jinyoung didn’t left out the fact that he had recently bought his lover a bar and that he intended to convince Mark to stay in the city permanently. He told his editor that he was determined to keep the American by his side as long as the other would have him, and, that he genuinely hoped to have a long-lasting relationship with the foreigner. On that note, the writer finally declared that, his romantic connection with Mark was not easily established at first, yet, it was built naturally, and it should proceed naturally. Jaebeom didn’t interrupt him, nor asked questions during his long speech. Actually, he was really not prepared to take it all in. Unable to digest all of that information, the editor couldn’t help but feel like he was being pranked. So Jinyoung tried to patiently make his friend see that he was not in a joking mood.

“Yes, I was in Jinhae, and no, you don’t know all my friends back there. You don’t know this one whose grandma passed, and I really don’t care if you believe me or not. I’d like to go back to the main issue that brought me here. Although you changed the subject too quickly, I wanna assure you that I’m not kidding about what I just said regarding my love life, I’m dead serious actually. Mark and I are dating, for real, and even if we can’t have your approval, I’d like that you at least respect my decision.” The writer said, a bit more collected than before. He realized that he wasn’t able to open his heart like that for a while. His head felt lighter and he could almost feel that headache going away.

“Look, I’m stunned by your story-telling creativity, as always. But, Jinyoung-ah, will you please stop bullshitting me? Is this the plot of your new novel? A man who goes after revenge and unexpectedly finds love? Honestly, it doesn’t match your writing style.” Jaebeom commented. He still had an expression of disbelief in his face.

“You’ve been my best friend for years. Now tell me, have I ever looked like the joker type?” Jinyoung said in a serious tone and stared deeply into his eyes. The editor gasped and placed a hand over his mouth. His eyes were wide as he swallowed.

“Oh, my God! Are you telling me that the man who you claimed to be your enemy, the one who Soo Young got involved with, and who Jack aims to destroy is the guy you want to have a serious relationship with?” The editor scoffed and the younger simply nodded. Jaebeom sighed in frustration, shook his head and continued, “I sensed that you two looked too cozy with each other. I asked you about what was going on between you two as soon as you arrived in Korea, and you told me that my question was repulsive.”

“I lied.” The younger admitted without much remorse. He wasn’t sure what he was doing back then, he didn’t think he would be able to tell his friend about the American’s importance in his life. He himself was too confused to access his own feelings. But now he had enough confidence to do so.

“No shit! Damn it, Jin! I mean, I should’ve known that you wouldn’t sleep with someone just to achieve a goddamned revenge. Yugyeom and that Bambam kid kept insinuating stuff about you two, but I could only confirm that you two had been ‘enjoying each other’ too much, hours later when Tuan showed up at dinner with a noticeable fresh hickey on his neck. I could tell that his tattoos weren’t the only marks on his skin in since he was wearing a see-though shirt. Actually, I thought he was being pretty territorial. I was given the impression that he was obviously flaunting what you guys were doing in your room minutes earlier-”

“So you were checking him out? It seems to me that you spent a lot of time focusing on his see-through shirt. ” Jinyoung frowned at Jaebeom and crossed his arms.

“What? No! I mean, he purposely made clear to everybody at that table that you were fucking him!” The suddenly nervous editor defended himself, but Jinyoung simply chuckled.

“Relax, I’m not telling Jae. Don’t worry about me either, you are forgiven.” The writer assured him, but Jaebeom’s angry chin was already out.

“There’s nothing to tell! Will you stop!?” The editor stood up a little vexed. The writer was giggling now.

“It’s fine. Even if you did check him out before, I’m not gonna hold that against you. He’s hot as fuck, and you couldn’t help yourself. As long as you remember that we’re official now, and that it’s not cool to thirsty after your best friend’s boyfriend, we can still be mates.” Jinyoung kept teasing the editor, who huffed and eyed him incredulously.

“What the fuck, man! Don’t even say shit like that again. If my husband-”

“By the way, I heard you and Mark have been secretly kissing in my office, but this ends now, okay? No more funny business behind my and Jae’s backs. I’m not leaving my American lover alone with you ever again. In fact, Jae was the one who told me to keep my boyfriend busy so your lips won’t distract him. But you ought to help me out too. Just don’t make yourself available, I know how irresistible Mark can be, but you’ve gotta keep your eyes and lips to yourself from now on, hyung.” Jinyoung mercilessly taunted his friend, covering his laughs with his hand. Jaebeom knew the other was making fun of him just to lighten up the mood, but he didn’t fail to notice that there was a subtle warning in his words.

“Wait, you’re actually jealous because of that stupid kiss between us, aren’t you? How come? So you really like him. Are you sure-”

“I don’t just like him, it’s more than that. So much more… And yeah, I was just too ashamed to admit to you that I was infatuated by Soo Young’s former lover, so I kept that information to myself, but I don’t think I can anymore. I don’t wanna keep lying to my best friend.” Jinyoung clarified in a more serious tone. He hoped to gain Jaebeom’s support. He would not tell him about the files he read at Jackson’s house, nor Mark’s version of his tragic past, but he needed to tell Jaebeom the only truth he was sure of, the undeniable affection he had for the American. The editor nodded, as he gazed at his friend, and tried to be understanding.

“I should’ve guessed that was coming.” He snorted, and went back to his chair. “He told me he came here because of you, and that he might stay because of you. When I told him to leave and asked him about his business here in Korea he just said, and I quote, ‘ _I like it here. I like him. He likes me’_. That was one of the most unnerving answers I’ve ever heard. I thought I was the one intimidating him, but it was the other way around.” Jaebeom shook his head in frustration.

“He really said that?” Jinyoung looked surprised, but then he smiled. The editor knew then that the author was being completely honest about his feelings.

“You seem happy about it. Hasn’t he confessed to you yet?” Jaebeom cocked his head to the side and examined his features.

“He said he missed me in all his previous lives. That was enough for me.” The author’s smile grew larger as he remembered the tone of the American’s voice when he uttered those words to him.

“Well, it shouldn’t be enough. You’re investing a lot in this relationship and I can see that you’re serious about him. But, are you sure this is not just about sex for him? I mean, he didn’t even wanna keep the bar at first and he might feel homesick at some point. What if he has someone in America?” Jaebeom started.

“He doesn’t.” The author replied firmly, but the name Cameron Zhou infallibly crossed his mind again. Would he be able to deal with the fact that Mark was obliged to pay monthly ‘private visits’ to his ex-lover? He knew that something had to be done about that soon. The Korean would not allow Mark to go through such an humiliating task anymore, even if it meant to secure the Tuans’ well-being.

“I’ve listened to you, Jin. Look, I’m really glad you decided to come here and tell me all this. I haven’t seen you smile like this before and I don’t doubt your feelings, my friend. However, Tuan is still a stranger. There’s something about his attitude that doesn’t sit well with me. To be honest, I’d rather see you single than to see you heartbroken. So, you’ll have to forgive me for saying that, but my advice remains the same. Send him away.” Jaebeom said in a solemn voice, making the other sigh.


	28. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Friendship is a serious affection; the most sublime of all affections, because it is founded on principle, and cemented by time.”― Mary Wollstonecraft

“No, I can’t send him back! And you can’t do it either. By the way, don’t corner him like the way you did in my office, ever again. He doesn’t respond well to threats. All I am asking is if you can’t get along with him, at least be civil to him. That will suffice. You’re both in my life, in a way or another, and I plan to keep it that way.” Jinyoung looked hurt, he tried to hide his disappointment when he realized that the other was unable to support his new relationship.

“Do you even know what you’re asking of me? Does Jackson even know that you are head over heels for the guy who supposedly impregnated his late fiancée? Jin, don’t you see how fucked up this whole thing is? How bad things can escalate?” Jaebeom argued, trying to beat some sense in the younger.

“He thinks I’m playing a role. Seducing Mark and betraying him when he’s most vulnerable is the kind of plan Jackson believes I’m okay with. I made him think it’s all part of his revenge, but I plan to prove Mark’s innocence and make Seunnah see that his ill intentions are not gonna change the fact that his fiancée is dead. I’m not asking you to help me contain Jack’s outbursts, but at least you could be-”

“Is Tuan really worth all the trouble? Are you ready to possibly lose Seunnah’s friendship? Or mine?” Jaebeom asked cautiously. The writer had eyes like saucers. He pursed his lips and exploded.

“I’m not asking you to take my side if that’s what you’re thinking. If Jackson unfriends me because I’m dating Mark, if he becomes my fucking enemy, and you feel that you should break ties with me, and stop being my best friend too, I will not hold that against you. I can even find another goddamn editor if that makes you more comfortable!” Jinyoung raised his voice this time. “How about that?!”

“That’s not what I’m saying here, Jin. But if all your friends come to the conclusion that this foreigner is no good for you, will you listen to us? What if he’s toxic? We really don’t know the kind of influence he had on Soo Young. We don’t know if he really had nothing to do with her death-”

“Stop! Not you too. I don’t need anyone else putting more doubts in my head. I’m gonna go now.” The author stood up and turned away from him, ready to storm out of the room.

“Wait! You’ve already talked to Seunnah, haven’t you? Of course you did. How did that go?” Jaebeom creased his brows and waited for an honest reply from his friend.

“I’ll handle him. Just don’t get involved. It’s not like you’d have my back like the old times.” Jinyoung replied coldly as he walked to the door.

“Jinyoung-ah!” The editor raised his voice to keep him from leaving, but his dongsaeng still walked away from him.

The writer expected more from his best friend, but he couldn’t blame him for not being so optimistic about his involvement with Mark. He himself knew that his relationship with the American would only become properly legit once he clarified all the doubts he had about him. However, he didn’t think that sending him back to LA was the best option. After those excruciating nine days, being away from the older was out of question. He would rather end up with a noose around his neck like his sister, than let go of him. That disturbing thought crossed his mind for a brief second and he himself was astonished by it. He stopped in his tracks, and took a deep breath as he found himself a few feet away from the elevator. As soon as its door opened, he was ready to get inside it. However, two familiar voices coming from the company’s cafeteria caught his ears. He quickly recognized them. He was surprised to hear those two in there, and he was extremely curious to know what they were talking about. So, before he approached them, he just kept listening to their conversation for a while and tried to spot the pair through the glass door of the cafeteria.

" _First impressions are everything. A bar is some serious business. It demands a grand opening event, and I can help you brainstorm a few ideas to make this opening a success. Trust me, I know how to create a publicity stunt. I already have some marketing strategies in mind that can make your bar stand out from the competition and draw a big crowd. All the right people will attend the event. I assure you that if you leave this part to me, I can make this happen."_ The author heard Youngjae say confidently. He really admired his dongsaeng for not holding any grudge against Mark after what he had witnessed in the office of his apartment. It was about time one of his friends warmed up to the American. Jinyoung knew he could at least count on Youngjae to make the older feel more comfortable in that new environment so different from the US. He wished Mark could start getting used to his new home.

_"Wow, that's very nice of you. I appreciate that."_ Mark replied, in an awkward tone. Finally, Jinyoung was able to locate their table. It was very close to the entrance of the cafeteria, and he figured that was the reason why he could hear them so well from outside. He did his best to enter the place without being noticed by the two, and the pair didn’t even turn around when he sat on a table right behind them. Jinyoung was obviously stunned to see the American there, since he was not one to socialize much. He asked himself what his dongsaeng did to get Mark out of the apartment, and he couldn’t help but wonder how Youngjae already knew about the bar.

_"You are Jinyoung’s boyfriend! I want us to become friends, Mark. Plus, I'm curious about you."_ The publicist declared in a lower tone. The author was quite relieved to hear that. At least someone besides his cousin and Bambam was rooting for them.

_"How so?"_ The American asked quietly. Jinyoung could almost sense the distrust in his voice. He couldn’t help but think that Mark indeed needed to work on his trust issues at some point.

_"I introduced a lot of eligible bachelors to Jinyoung hyung and set up blind dates for him. Believe me, I picked the most desired gay men in Seoul, all good catches, and none of them were good enough for him. I'm eager to know what it is that you have and the others don't."_ The publicist said bluntly. Jinyoung grimaced, as he wondered why his dongsaeng had to bring up those disastrous blind dates again. The author felt tempted to interrupt that chat right there.

" _Maybe you should've just let him choose for himself since the beginning. Blind dates are kinda impersonal. Not always friends can tell who might be a perfect match for someone. Even the dating apps are mostly wrong too. I believe chemistry should exist before a real date. You can’t force these kind of things. You don’t have to meet someone with the purpose of killing loneliness, you can meet them casually, then you get to know them, and if you two click, only then a date should take place.”_ Mark replied calmly and added one more line with a smirk. “By the way, when are you taking me on a date, Park Jinyoung?” he asked, as he turned around to face the author’s back.

Jinyoung was startled at first, but he definitely liked the fact that Mark noticed him there. He wondered if the older was already able to recognize the smell of his cologne. He wondered if Mark was really asking for a date, because if he was, Jinyoung was ready to fulfill his wish anytime. Since he couldn’t hide anymore from the pair, he decided that it was about time he joined their table.

“Jinyoung hyung!” A flabbergasted Youngjae commented as he watched Jinyoung leave his chair and take a seat beside Mark.

“Hey, babe. Hi, Jae.” Jinyoung greeted them excitedly. Mark was about to wrap his arms around him and give him a peck, but the writer quickly whispered to him a dispirited ‘we’re in public’ and the older sighed in disappointment, leaving his arms fall back on the table. He only smiled a little bit when the Korean placed a hand on his knee and started making invisible circles there with his fingers. The American seemed to be mildly content with that. The author’s hand was hidden under the table and no one around them would notice the intimate gesture, except for his sharp dongsaeng, who stared at the cute interaction and cleared his throat.

“What was that?! Did you know he was sitting behind us all this time?” the publicist asked Mark, as he sipped on his latte.

“Call it a sixth sense. I actually can tell pretty easily if I’m being followed, or stalked. It comes with territory. My old job required a lot of observation and attention. I kinda get paranoid once in a while. That kind of shit stays with you.” Mark commented sourly and a disconcerted Jinyoung swallowed.

“But you were a bartender. Did your costumers often stalk you or something?” Youngjae furrowed his brows, clearly confused. Mark became speechless as soon as he realized he had made a silly mistake there, but his boyfriend gladly came to his rescue.

“Well, with a gorgeous bartender serving you the most amazing drinks every night, who wouldn’t be tempted to become a stalker?” Jinyoung smiled a bit nervously, but he knew the younger wasn’t easily convinced. That wasn’t a proper answer for him. He wondered if Choi Youngjae was a detective in his previous lives. Investigation was certainly his calling after public relations. He had cops in his family, and the author could only conclude that that kind of inquisitive behavior was in his DNA.

“What did you do before you started bartending?” Youngjae asked with a curious expression on his face. Jinyoung was expecting that, of course. He could predict that the interrogatory would be endless.

“I’m a college dropout actually. In my first year there, I realized that kind of academic thing wasn’t for me. My uncle taught me what I needed to know in order to work behind the counter of a bar. I ended up turning bartending into my bread and butter. Thankfully, I didn’t need a degree for that.” Mark replied quickly and Youngjae was ready to ask another question when the author chimed in.

“By the way Jae, how did you find out about Mark and Bambam’s brand new bar in the heart of Seoul?”

“Oh! That! The YugBam couple filled me in. Therefore, I offered to help with the publicity. I stopped by your apartment and drove Mark here so we could discuss about it and at the same time, he could get acquainted with the publishing company that made his boyfriend a bestselling writer. I hope you don’t mind that I brought him to Team Wang.” Youngjae eyed Jinyoung expectantly.

“It’s really fine. I mean, as long as Jackson isn’t around.” The author said without thinking. Mark just observed the two talk. He was glad Jinyoung had showed up there. He didn’t want to decline Youngjae’s offer to help him with the bar publicity, because he didn’t really know how Koreans dealt with rejections of that kind. He actually had zero knowledge about that culture, so he tried to look sociable while it was only the two of them. However, now that the author joined the conversation, he felt comfortable to go back being his introspective self.

“Oh, Seunnah did seem strange at that dinner…And I thought Jaebeom was the only one having issues.” He shook his head in frustration and turned to the American. “By the way, I really hope you didn’t take to the heart what my husband said to you at Jinyoung’s office, Mark. His attitude was uncalled for.”

“He already apologized, and so did I for kissing him. You don’t have to make excuses for him. Perhaps Jia Er and your hubbie are just having a xenophobic episode. I’m sure it will pass once they get to know me better. But if it doesn’t, I honestly don’t give two shits about it.” Mark was tired of playing the nice guy at that point. He didn’t feel like holding back his feelings, nor being careful with his words. He was not worried about what Jaebeom or Jackson thought of him, but he wouldn’t let them interfere in his relationship with the writer. He was kinda tired of the Korean conservative politeness, and it really annoyed him the fact that he couldn’t just touch his boyfriend whenever he wanted.

“My husband is not xenophobic.” Youngjae stated a bit more serious. Jinyoung cleared his throat.

“And neither is Jack. Come on, Jae. Mark is just kidding. That’s the part of American humor we’ll never get, westerners’ jokes often sound worse than they actually are in our ears. Their jokes never make much sense to one who’s not immersed in their culture.” Jinyoung said quickly and Mark simply smirked at his attempt to make him sound less rude. The awkward moment lasted for a few seconds until a panting Jaebeom entered the cafeteria.

“Jin, I was looking for you everywhere! I didn’t know you were here with Jae. I saw you guys through the glass and-”

“He’s not the only one who’s here with Jae. It would be polite of you to at least greet me, Lim Jaebeom.” Mark crossed his legs and arms as he stared coldly at the editor.

“Right, sorry. Hi, Mark hyung, how are you doing?” Jaebeom asked in a hurry, taking everyone at the table by surprise. Even the American was agape now.

“I-I’m good. Y-you?” Mark stammered, still in shock. Did the editor just call him ‘hyung’? He remembered that Yugyeom told him that term was kinda of a big deal, respectful but still friendly.

“Why were you after me, JB?” Jinyoung briskly questioned his editor, before the other could answer Mark’s question.

“You left my office so suddenly! You’re so stubborn and…Listen, I just wanted you to know that I have your back, 100%. You can count on me, no matter what. I’ve never let you down before and I’m not doing it now. Whatever it is, I’ll be there for you, okay? That’s what friends are for.” Jaebeom gave his friend a meaningful look and Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile at him with gratitude. The way they eyed each other bothered Mark, but he said nothing.

“Is this about work?” Youngjae seemed lost, as his eyes travelled from one Korean to the other.

“Sure it is.” The editor turned to his husband and nodded to him. Then his eyes returned to Jinyoung.

“Do not forget to send me those pages you claim to have written, okay? I must check if those drafts are really worth reading. I’m happy for your new relationship but I’ll be even happier when I see your new novel in every bookstore of Seoul.” Jaebeom said casually, as he winked at the author. The latter couldn’t help himself and just jumped on the editor to give him a big hug. Did his best friend just say he was happy for his new relationship? It felt nice to have JB’s approval even though his friend didn’t know the whole story. Mark fumed. _So his boyfriend can hug the editor in public but not him?_

“Jinyoung hyung, you’d better release him already. Think of your Mark here. I mean, if looks could kill, you would both be dead by now.” Youngjae commented, as he chuckled, trying hard not to laugh at the American’s annoyed expression. The pair swiftly released each other and Mark looked away, pretending not to care. Since Jinyoung was still standing, Jaebeom took that opportunity to occupy the author’s seat by the American’s side. The latter didn’t even notice that the editor was by his side until he started to speak to him in a conciliating tone.

“You don’t have to be jealous, hyung. I already have someone precious by my side, remember? I guess it's just fair that I let my best friend have his special one by his side too, right? If Jin chose you as his special one, I won’t give you a hard time anymore, unless you hurt him, of course.” The editor grinned as Mark finally met his gaze. The American thought that his ears were playing tricks on him. That morning was indeed full of surprises. First Youngjae dragged him to Team Wang claiming that he wanted to be his friend, and now Jaebeom was apparently giving his blessing to his relationship with the writer.

“Are you serious?” Mark looked for a trace of deceit in the man’s face. Jinyoung and Youngjae just watched the two.

“I am. And to prove to you how serious I am, I’m inviting you to Nora’s birthday party this weekend at our house. I’m gonna introduce you to the original Korean barbecue and while we are at it, you can meet the rest of the family.” Jaebeom suggested, with a hopeful look on his face.

“Oh, God, it’s really happening. I almost forgot the date.” Youngjae rolled his eyes and his husband chuckled.

“Who’s Nora?” The American asked.

“Their eldest.” Jinyoung smirked.

“You have children?!” The American’s eyes grew wide.

“We have cats, five to be more precise. Nora, Kunta, Odd, Beire, And Cake. By the way, you can’t miss JB’s cat’s birthday once he invites you. He gets pissed if you refuse such an honour.” Youngjae said sarcastically and made a face as he continued, “It’s gonna be so much fun. There will be destroyed furniture everywhere and catnip all over the place. It’s the kind of event you don’t wanna miss.”

“Is this a thing in Korea? Do you guys usually celebrate-” Mark furrowed his brows.

“It’s a cat lover thing, as simple as that. It happens in America too, it happens anywhere. It happens wherever there are people who admire and appreciate those furry beings.” Jaebeom corrected him in comical but firm tone, as if he was talking about an extremely serious issue. “By the looks of it, you’re not a cat lover. You’re probably more of a dog person, like Jae.”

“I married a cat lover even though I’m allergic to cat fur. But I already told JB that I’m gonna have my own dog someday. A Maltese type which has hair instead of fur, and don’t shed much. My dear husband have to find a new home for his babies if he plans to keep me around.” Youngjae complained, as he raised an eyebrow at the editor.

“Bam loves cats. Is he invited too?” Mark looked surprisingly excited.

“Sure! Gyeomie already knows about it. The six of us can even enjoy some sexy drinking games after the kittens go to bed. Americans like that kinky stuff, right?” Jaebeom gave him a wicked smile. Youngjae facepalmed himself, and Jinyoung was simply satisfied to seem them interact.

“Okay, then. You introduce me to the traditional Korean BBQ and I’ll show you guys how to have a good time with some American kinky stuff.” Mark smirked, promising himself to make Nora’s birthday party an unforgettable one.


	29. Immune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.”- Louis de Bernières

“I thought you were supposed to be in Hong Kong. What do you want in here?” Mark was clearly alarmed to see the Hongkonger there as soon as he opened the door of Jinyoung’s apartment. Jackson’s timing couldn’t be worse. Mark and the author had just returned from Team Wang, and as soon as they arrived at the apartment, the Korean told Mark that he would take him on a date. The American promptly agreed to go out with him. It would be his first date with Jinyoung, and he himself was surprised of how nervous he got about it. Mark was never the mushy kind of guy, but he genuinely thought it would be nice to do something romantic with Jinyoung out of their bedroom now that they were boyfriends. He was unable to remember the last time he was really that excited to go out with someone he felt comfortable with. As a matter of fact, he never had a proper relationship before, so that was different and very new to him. Jinyoung’s world as a whole was a foreign territory for him, literally, and the American was ready to dive into it. Although he still felt like a fish out of water whenever he was around Jinyoung’s friends, he figured that he should just try to socialize more with the Koreans. After all, sooner or later, he would’ve to get used to the Asian lifestyle that surrounded him, and learn their language was a task that he felt he had to accomplish as fast as possible. He was also aware that it was about time he got to know the city better, since he would be staying there, and running a bar with Bambam. In Mark’s point of view, new beginnings were supposed to be filled with challenges and adversities, but he was not scared to face all of them up front. He felt like life had provided him a second chance to do things right, live like a regular person who didn’t have problems with the law nor caused harm to other people. He felt grateful for that. He never thought he would get this far with his Thai friend. Moving to another country had never crossed his mind when he worked at 777 ways in Downtown LA, nor when he sold drugs at college or when he became one of the Collector’s possession. Those turbulent days seemed far away now, and even though they would never be fully erased from his memory, Mark intended to focus on his present. Now he felt like he didn’t travelled to Korea to die, but to live. He wondered how suddenly a revenge plot slowly turned into a love story. He thought that love stories were only real in the pages of a novel or in the script of a movie. After Cameron, he had convinced himself that love was just an illusion, an attractive make believe that forced people to tolerate their lovers’ imperfections. He would never imagine that he would end up finding an author that could prove him wrong. He wondered if he should take advantage of that date and tell the writer about it. He wondered if the spell would be broken if he told Jinyoung that he had made room for him in his heart.

He found himself lost in those kind of thoughts as soon as Jinyoung went upstairs to take a shower. However, the minute he made up his mind, someone rang the bell of the apartment. That unexpected guest reminded Mark that there were still some issues of his past that needed closure. The path of love he had chosen to tread with Jinyoung was full of vicious intersections. That person in front of him now was one of those.

“Where’s Jin? Is he in?” Jackson asked quickly, as he walked past Mark and entered the apartment.

“He’s in the shower. Maybe you can leave a message?” Mark asked in an unfriendly tone, as he closed the door and followed him to the living room.

“Very funny, Yi-en. Are you his secretary or something? I thought you were just his new whore.” Jackson eyed him up and down and clicked his tongue. Mark huffed and simply ignored the offense.

“Look, he’s busy, I’m busy, we’re busy. He’s taking me on a date, you know. None of us have time for your bullshit.” The American crossed his arms and stared hard at him. He was aware that Jackson had probably heard the dating news from Jinyoung’s friends. He guessed the Chinese was there to unleash his anger on him in a way or another.

“So romantic! I’ve heard about this absurd relationship. What’s with you and the Parks, Yi-en?” The Chinese asked, shaking his head with disgust. He was only there to check Jinyoung’s progress and perhaps, spice things up a bit. Phase 2 was not going to be easy for Mark as phase 1, and he was going to make sure of it.

“Well, you should ask them not me.” Mark smiled darkly. “Oh, I forgot, one of them is already dead and the dead don’t talk.” He saw the way a fuming Jackson balled his fists, and menacingly walked towards him, but still, he didn’t move from his spot. The Chinese came very near him and started talking in a huskier tone.

“Are you gonna tell him, or I will?” Jackson inquired, eyeing him coldly.

“What? That you once made the bad decision of stopping by 777 ways to threaten the man who was sleeping with your fiancée and that unfortunately, security had to be a little rough on you?” Mark said in a mocking tone and smirked at him.

“Well, you have no bodyguard to look after your ass now. I could break this skinny neck of yours-”

“Go ahead and try it. But I’m not sure Jinyoung will let you-”

“Oh, so you think you already have that kind of power over him? Don’t confuse him with Zhou or Stravos. Who do you think he is? Your worshipper number 777?” Jackson said viciously. Mark eyes widened, as he realized that the Chinese indeed investigated his past thoroughly. Jinyoung had told him about the private investigators Jackson had hired to find out everything about him, but Mark was never aware of how much they really knew about his background or his criminal connections.

“Since you already know so much, why did you involve Jinyoung in this shitty revenge? Couldn’t you have done your dirty job by yourself? Why are you complaining now? You are the one who sent him after me! You put her own little brother in danger! You led him to that Neighborhood! What were you thinking!? Do you think she would’ve wanted this?” Mark looked genuinely irritated now.

“He encouraged her to go to America. I just did the same to him. What I didn’t expect was that he would also end up in your fucking bed!”

“Sorry about that Jia Er. But look, I’m here in South Korea, exactly where you wanted me to be, right? But her little brother, your good friend Jinyoung will not let you touch me. We’re dating now! Yugyeom adores me, Youngjae and I are getting along pretty well, and even Jaebeom seems to be coming around. I’m starting to fit it in Jinyoung’s life, he wants me here, and you’ll be only seen as a troublemaker if you keep behaving the way you are. I wonder how you plan to proceed with your ridiculous revenge now. Have you decided about what you’re gonna do?” Mark spat.

“I’ll make your life hell. That’s what I’m gonna do. I may not kill you, but after I’m done with you, you’ll beg me to do it. Or perhaps, you’ll do it yourself.” Jackson gave him a wicked grin. The Chinese was really going to enjoy torturing him. He was impressed by how Mark seemed to be so confident about his relationship with Jinyoung. He couldn’t be more satisfied about it.

“Go ahead and try it!” The American said defiantly.

“All right, where shall I begin?” Jackson said sarcastically, as he started pacing around the room. “Oh, there are so many ways to separate him from you…But for now, let’s just test how strong this new bond between you two is. Here is what you’re gonna do, you will tell him about your HIV status, or I’ll do it myself. You see, I can’t have you sleeping with my dongsaeng and putting him at risk!” Jackson said harshly and this time, Mark paled. The American’s eyes denounced the panic he was trying not to show in front of Jackson. The Chinese loved that reaction. The fact that Mark didn’t know that the writer knew about the virus made that situations even funnier.

“Aren’t you a busy-body! How did you find out about that?” The American’s heart almost skipped a beat now, and his stomach felt queasy. He had the feeling that Jackson purposely didn’t tell Jinyoung everything he learned about him just to get the chance to play his mind games now.

“Soo Young told me. Surprised?” The Chinese uttered, shooting daggers at him.

“No. She wouldn’t. When did she even-”

“Before she put a noose around her neck. And we both know why she did it.” Jackson grimaced. He really wished he could forget about phase 2 and simply strangle him to death, but he knew that killing Mark now would be too meaningless, after all, he had to suffer first. And why not make him suffer through Jinyoung? If Mark was really developing feelings for the author, the latter could become his perfect Achilles heel.

“It’s not that bad. It’s controlled now. I cannot infect anyone. I’ve been on treatment since I found out. I won’t make him sick, I would never-”

“I don’t care Yi-en. Tell him, or I will.” The Chinese stated, rejoicing in the fact that Mark suddenly looked cornered and extremely nervous. He wondered if Jinyoung’s seductiveness was that powerful. He couldn’t be more satisfied to have him as a partner. Scaring Mark that way was beyond delightful. However, he couldn’t help but still have doubts about what could be going through Mark’s mind. Was the American falling for Jinyoung or all of that was just another game to him? Jackson wasn’t totally convinced yet. “It’s not like you’re worried he’ll leave you, right? It’s not like you have feelings for him. How could you? Monsters don’t even have hearts.” He raised an eyebrow at the American and examined his features carefully.

“I was a monster. But I’m not anymore. He doesn’t have to know. He’ll freak out if he does. Please, just let it go.” Mark’s voice was almost a whisper. Jackson’s eyes widened in shock. Did Mark Tuan just beg?

“That’s not my problem. He should’ve known better than share his bed with a filthy thing like you. Do it today. I mean it.” Jackson said harshly and stormed out of the apartment with a satisfied expression etched on his face. He would have to congratulate Jinyoung in person next time he saw him. Jackson was quite pleased with his partner’s progress.

The American chewed on his lips and tried to register what had just happened. He sat down on the couch and struggled to find a way out of that situation. He didn’t notice that his hands were shaking until he heard Jinyoung’s voice next to him.

“Mark, baby, what happened. Why are you shaking so much? Are you okay?” The worried author asked. His hair was damp and he was still wearing his bathrobe. He was holding Mark’s hands and his soothing tone almost calmed him down, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from fearing what he had to do next.

“I have to tell you something. It’s not such a bad thing, but you might not look at me the same way.” Mark started carefully. Jinyoung’s eyes widened, as he wondered what Mark was about to tell him. He felt tempted to ask him to shut up and keep to himself whatever terrible secret he wanted to reveal. Things were going relatively well and they had a date to go to. Jinyoung was not ready to have his day ruined, but he kept his feelings in check.

“I doubt that.” The author said in a mix of anxiety and uneasiness, and he hoped that he truly meant what he said this time.

“Okay. Now I want you to pay really close attention to what I am about to tell you and try not to lose your shit.” Mark chewed on his lips before he started speaking. “You see, I don’t know if you are aware of the fact that nowadays, even though some people suffer from incurable diseases, which used to be quite deadly and untreatable decades ago, there are some especial medicines that can help them live longer, healthier lives. I don’t know how much you’re educated about it, but-”

“Mark, just go ahead and say it. Are you sick or something?” A distraught Jinyoung immediately knew what that was about. He wished he was wrong, but the urgency in the older’s voice made him even more certain of what the other was trying to tell him.

“I-I have this condition…I mean, we can find a clinic right now and run some tests if you want to, but I can assure you that you are fine. Because regardless of what you may think, I’m kinda fine too, okay?” Mark tried to remain calm but he was having a hard time finding the right words to make that revelation.

“You’re not making any sense. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” The author insisted, also struggling to avoid having a breakdown right there.

“Listen to me, I like you very much, Jin. I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark forever. I was gonna tell you about it someday, but not now. I know that you had a right to know before we started to sleep together, but I didn’t want to scare you away. At first, I felt that I had to know the person who was plotting my death, so I kept my mouth shut. But then we came here to Korea, we got closer and for the first time in a long time, someone made me feel like I am still a person, who can feel love, and be loved. I didn’t wanna lose that, I still don’t. I really want to be with you and try being human again. You make me want to be human.” Mark desperately tried to explain himself, but the agitation in the tone of his voice made the author feel even more distressed.

“You’re scaring me, babe. Whatever it is, just say it, I can take it.” Jinyoung declared, and braced himself.

“Promise me you won’t kick me out. Promise me you won’t hate me.” Mark pleaded, and entwined their fingers just to squeeze them together.

“When it comes to you, I am immune to hatred.” Jinyoung whispered to him, but he could feel that he was already weeping internally.

“Why?” Mark eyed him curiously.

“Can’t you tell? It’s too late for me, I’m unable to get away from you, even if it’s for my own sake. You cast a spell on me, Mark, a spell called lov-”

“I am HIV positive. But I am also on ART. I’m taking meds that reduce my viral load to an undetectable level and keeps the HIV infection from advancing to its third stage. That means I won’t get AIDS, okay?” Mark took a deep breath and paused.

Jinyoung inhaled, and tried to contain his disappointment. It wasn’t like he didn’t know about it, the possibility was always there, but hearing that confirmation straight from his lover’s mouth did something to him. He blinked several times before he disentangled his hands from Mark's and tore his eyes away from him. He was in pain, and he could not tell were exactly that unbearable aching was coming from. He felt it everywhere. In his bones, in his flesh and in his very spirit. It hurt to realize that Jackson wasn't lying to him. It hurt so much that he didn't think he had felt that kind of sensation before. He glanced at Mark one more time just to make sure he was still there, his beloved fiend. Then he gasped and looked away again. Somehow, it became hard to breathe, so the Korean stood up from the couch, and walked towards the window. He sighed in despair as he gazed at the sky and noticed that it was about to rain. His date with Mark was officially cancelled. That was definitely not a sunny day. It was cloudy and gray. Agonizingly foggy, as his own state of mind. Mercilessly unpleasant like his lover's lies. 

He didn't know what to say or how to react. He knew all along that whatever he had read about Mark could be true, he knew things were going too well, and because they were going too well, if they started getting bad, it would eventually become pretty bad. Was he unconsciously giving more credit to Mark's version of the story all along? That's why he felt to betrayed? Certainly. It was hard to realize that he loved a fraud. It was even more excruciating to him to realize that Mark was more than a fraud, he was pernicious. Jinyoung couldn’t help but ask himself if he was evil for loving someone so malign. The author didn’t think his boyfriend’s character was baleful just because he kept his HIV status from him, but because all the other gruesome uncertainties regarding his past suddenly became too real, and Jackson’s version of the story seemed truer than any word Mark ever said to him.

For a moment he craved some clarity, he yearned for a cheerful weather, a kind of breeze that could ease the storm inside him. He eyed the stillness of his balcony and silently prayed for the imminent rain not to fall. His world was already crumbling down in front of him, and the rain would only make things worse. It would wash away his dream of better days, it would drown his hope and faith. It could inundate his mind and lead him astray.

Now he didn't feel so bad for breaking the promise he made the American. He didn't think he still had a reason to trust his new lover anyways. He didn't think that it would happen so fast, but he was convinced that he had found the liar he was looking for. If Mark deliberately hid that saddening information from him, and Jackson didn't fake those medical records, he concluded that his private project had come to an end. Jinyoung couldn't help but reconsider all the other events that looked too ludicrous in those files. The Korean was inclined to completely accept the Chinese's version of Mark's past at once and stop having doubts. He felt tempted to end that game right there. He wanted to tell to Mark's face that he was aware of his lies, all of them. He wanted to shout at him for being such a deceiving piece of shit, but something still held him back. The rain was not falling outside yet, and maybe the American still had a chance to make him trust him again. Nevertheless, could Jinyoung find comfort in some other lie? He asked himself why Mark decided to tell him about his HIV status at that moment. He wanted to know what his purpose was, before he openly confronted him.

"Jinyoung, please say something." Mark's pleading voice almost made his ears bleed.

"Why are you telling me this now?" That was all Jinyoung asked, as he turned to him again. Yet, he wanted more than a simple answer. He wanted all the unanswered questions to disappear. However, if he brought up the American's past, would the older confirm that he was a Doll hunter and the Collector's right hand? No matter how much the writer looked at him, he still didn't look like the man he had read about. However, looks could be deceiving, and that sentence never sounded so true to the writer as it did at that very moment. 

"Jackson forced me to. He said that if I didn't do it, he would. He stopped by while you were in the shower. He gave me an ultimatum." Mark replied quickly. The anguish in his voice was unbearable. The author's eyes widened as he turned to the American again. Mark's expression was heart wrenching. Jinyoung knew that he couldn't be faking that obvious agony, could he? Did it really pain him to reveal such a thing to him? And why would Jackson do something like that? He shouldn't be interfering on phase 2, at least not so soon. What was he playing at?

"Would it have made any difference if he was the one who told me?" The saddened Korean asked, staring deep into his eyes.

"I don't know. He hates me, and he would probably make everything sound much more dreadful than actually is. But it's not, Nyoungie! I swear!" Mark exclaimed as he stood up and slowly approached the writer.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Jinyoung's accusing tone made the other flinch. The Korean couldn't help but push Mark's hands away when the older reached for his arm.

"I was ashamed to even bring up the subject. I didn't know how bad you would take the news. Not everyone is prepared to deal with something like this and I can understand why. Not everyone is okay with having an HIV positive partner. There's still prejudice and-"

"So you made the decision for me? All the times we had sex you never warned me about protection or anything! You assumed that you should have me as a boyfriend despite what I might feel regarding your HIV status? You think I didn't have the right to know?!" Jinyoung couldn't hold back his disappointment any longer. He was mad and his whole body language signaled that his self-restraint was jeopardized.

"Jin, I-I really wanted to say something, but I couldn't. The first time you showed some interest in me you barged into the room I was sleeping and you tried to get into my pants! I stopped you and I mentioned the condom-"

"Oh, what about the other times, huh? What about when you fucked me for the first time? I bled! Do you remember? And you didn't say a word! Do you know how dangerous that was?!" The author hissed.

"I actually know the level of danger I put you in! To tell you the truth, there was no danger at all, Jin! I told you I'm on treatment for years! I couldn't have infected you! Since I'm undetectable The risk of HIV transmission through sex is zero!" The American shouted at him. He was frustrated at himself for not being able to properly convey what Jinyoung needed to hear in order to keep his mind at ease.

"Still, you should've told me! The fact that you didn't just proves how little you care about me. You have no respect for what I-"

"I didn't wanna lose you, okay?! Mark’s yelled at him now, and the rawness of his tone shut him up. "I can't lose you, not you. I decided to start over here in this strange country because you convinced me that my past didn't matter. That despite of all the bad experiences I had in America, I could be happy with you in this new world you brought me in. You made me believe that the present me can have a room in your life, and I want that so bad, Jinyoung! I never wanted something so much. And you know why is that? It’s because whenever you are around I don’t feel so empty anymore. You crawled your way into this deserted shell!” The American declared, as he put one of his hands on his chest and shook his head. “I can't believe I am gonna say this, but I think...No, I am sure, that I am falling in love with you. And you have no idea how it's been hard to admit that to myself, because it's clear that this relationship has 99% chance of failing! If I don’t tell you certain things, it’s because I still want to preserve its 1% chance of success. We are already tremendously different, we come from very different worlds, and I just didn't want to make our differences so much clearer, so soon, okay? I didn't want you to see how obviously wrong I am for you, how unsuitable I’ll always be, inside and out. You're such an angel, and I'm...I'm no saint, Jinyoung. I am not a saint at all." Mark ignored the tears threatening to gush from his eyes and waited for the younger's response. The American didn't expect forgiveness, the author's understanding would suffice, but what he heard next disconcerted him.

"Wherever I am there will be always room for you. This hasn't changed. You're not the only one who wants us to work despite all the hurdles we have to overcome." Jinyoung stated, and the pure honesty of that sentence echoed in Mark's ears like an endless note of a deafening symphony.

"What?!" The American eyed him in disbelief and furrowed his brows.

"I love you. And I believe that our 1% of success has just increased significantly now." Jinyoung said abruptly as his eyes met his. The intensity of his gaze made the older gasp. 

"Don't say that. Please." Mark shook his head in a mix of desperation and fear.

"Why?" Jinyoung asked quietly. Hearing that Mark was falling in love with him and that he wanted to have a room in his life anesthetized him. He could barely feel the initial pain of betrayal that assaulted him when Mark revealed that he was indeed HIV positive. 

"It will be harder to leave you if you keep talking like this." The older chewed on his lower lip as he fought to hold back a sob. He didn't want to break down in tears in front of the Korean, so he avoided his eyes.

"Then don't leave. I'm not asking you to. I don't want you to go. I never did and I never will." The writer insisted. He came very close to the older and lifted up his chin to make him meet his gaze.

"How come?" The American couldn't believe that the author was simply okay with what was revealed to him. He couldn't help but suspect that his reaction was not an spontaneous one.

"Love is blind, right?" The younger ran a hand through Mark's silk hair and wondered how and when exactly he had started falling in love for that man before him.

"No. Jinyoung this is serious. You're not supposed to forgive something like that so easily. It's not possible-"

"You didn't wanna lose me. That's why you kept it a secret. And you didn't wanna lose me because you love me." Jinyoung concluded, and that very deduction sent a huge wave of relief through him. Mark could be the devil, but if he loved him, the younger wouldn't mind handing him his very soul.

"Don't make excuses for me, don't do that!" Mark protested, as he brushed the younger's fingers away.

"You are the one who just said you're falling for me. I don't care about anything else." An overwhelmed Jinyoung smiled at him.

"No! I-I was wrong. I didn't really mean it. That was a mistake-"

"Don't you dare take it back. This is not a mistake." Jinyoung closed the distance between them and crashed his lips against Mark's. The American struggled at first, but the younger held his waist firmly, holding him close to him and Mark soon melted into the kiss.


	30. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you love large, you've got to hurt large. If you've got a lot of light, you've probably got an equal amount of darkness.” - Sarah Mclachlan

When Jinyoung felt the older wrap his arms around him, he broke the kiss and stared deep into his eyes.

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier." Mark whispered to him, as he wiped his teas with the long sleeve of his hoodie.

"That you love me or about the HIV?" The Korean scoffed and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Both, I guess." Mark murmured. Still shocked by the fact that Jinyoung took the news too well. That boyfriend of his was too good to be true. “Your reaction was unexpected. This whole situation is unreal. You’re not like the other guys Park Jinyoung. You should be scared. Why aren’t you? Something tells me you’re not normal.” The American asked, as he rested his head on his chest.

“Normal? Look who’s talking!” The Korean chuckled.

“You’re so different from him. Cam would’ve broken my arms and legs if I hid something like this from him.” Mark whispered, as he still tried to believe what was happening.

“You keep comparing me to him. But I’ve already told you that I’m not Zhou.” The younger said firmly. The sudden mention of that man made his blood boil, and the Korean couldn’t help but feel something else too. "Was it Cameron who infected you?" he asked in a demanding tone. The American easily noticed the change of his demeanor and he couldn’t help but feel trapped in his arms.

"I don't know." A disconcerted Mark uttered as he tried to get away from the Korean's hold. Jinyoung didn't feel like releasing him any soon. He wasn't going to let his boyfriend run away from his questions anymore.

"Was it Dan? Hara? A worshiper? Soo Young? Who, Mark?" Jinyoung asked in a dark voice. The American started to feel uncomfortable in his grasp, and pushed harder against his chest. 

"I have no idea. Let me go, Jinyoung." Mark pleaded, refusing to look him in the eye. Jinyoung didn’t like the way he was behaving now. He just wished Mark would stop being evasive and reticent. The Korean imagined that if the older really loved him, he shouldn’t keep secrets from him anymore. The only problem was that Jinyoung was unable to tell whether his boyfriend’s answer was honest or not.

"Tell me and I'll let you go." The younger said as he took hold of his arms and squeezed them. Since Jinyoung couldn't tell if the other was lying about that matter, he couldn't help but start doubting what Mark said about falling for him. He felt pathetic for being deceived once, and he refused to let it happen again. Conflicting thoughts polluted his mind at once. If Mark loved him, that meant he was really over Cameron Zhou? Now that the American was dating him, he was going to stop seeing Zhou in prison? Jealousy blinded the Korean as much as the love he felt for the American.

"I said I don't know!" Mark repeated, as he saw a familiar glint in the Korean's eyes. He had seen it in Zhou's before. It made his heart race.

"Right! Because there were so many of them, right? Did you also tell the people you seduced that you were falling for them? Or that you didn't wanna lose them? Is this a game for you, Mark?" Jinyoung asked harshly, making the American even more alarmed.

"No! Calm down, okay?! You're hurting me!" The older complained, as he felt the younger's nails sink into his skin.

"You're hurting me too! Now answer the question." The writer demanded and shook him by the shoulders.

"I don't know the answer. And I'm not playing games. Not with you. Now let me go!" Mark gritted his teeth and tried to kick him, but Jinyoung was faster and avoided his intrusive leg.

"How am I supposed to believe you, huh?! Are you gonna keep fucking Zhou in America while we date here in Korea? Do you think I'm gonna let you go back to that scum once a month and cheat on me? What do you take me for?!" Jinyoung yelled at him and pushed him against a wall. Mark tried to escape one more time, but the younger didn't let him. Jinyoung placed all the weight of his body on him.

"I'm not doing that anymore." Mark whispered, and stopped struggling.

"Is that so? Did he get bored of your ass or something? Why are you such a fucking liar?! You're driving me crazy with so many lies. Stop fucking lying to me, Mark!" Jinyoung fumed, as he squeezed Mark's arms even harder. The other just stayed still.

"I won't see him anymore. I promise. Just release me, now, okay?" Mark stated in such a collected voice that only made the author even angrier.

"So you'll just let him kill all your family? After all the blackmailing-" 

"I killed Cameron." Mark said abruptly. And the indifference Jinyoung abhorred so much was all over his face.

"What?!" Jinyoung sneered at him, unable to believe his own ears.

"He's out of my life for good. I paid someone to do it. My brother wired me some money and I finally got rid of him. I am free. I made myself free for you." An emotionless Mark explained swiftly.

"How?" Jinyoung finally loosened his grip on him. That sounded too elaborated to be a joke.

"They poisoned their food in prison." The older said, while a tiny smile formed on his lips.

"When?" an astonished Jinyoung took a step back from him and placed both his hands above his head.

"While you were away... At Jinhae. I had enough time to reflect on my life in your absence, and I decided to finally live by your side. But I had to break away from him first, and there was only one way to do that. I thought a lot about it, and I knew that it was necessary." Mark replied calmly.

"You killed your ex? You made your brother send you money to help you end someone's life?" Jinyoung was beyond shocked. If Cameron was really gone, maybe Mark could have his freedom back, and he wouldn’t have to share his boyfriend with the drug dealer. But would the author be able to live with it? Should he give Mark a pat on the back and thank him for such a proof of love? Jinyoung felt filthy for thinking like that. But still...

"He's not the first man I had to get rid of. But I'm sure he'll be the last. There's no one left. All those who changed me, they are gone. I can go back being human now, for you. I'm not a criminal anymore. But I had to do this, this final thing. I had to. I could not be with you here knowing that I would've to return to him afterwards. I did it for us. No one will ever know it was me. I promise you." The American assured him. Mark could tell by Jinyoung's expression that he was not happy with the news.

"I'll know! Mark, are you insane?" Jinyoung sat on the couch and massaged his temples nervously. He couldn't believe his boyfriend did something like that to guarantee that they could be properly together. However, considering everything that happened between Mark and the dealer, could he blame the American? The Korean didn’t know Zhou and he wasn’t sad about the fact that he was definitely out of the picture. Deep down, Jinyoung considered his death a gift to the world. The dealer’s passing meant one less toxic element on Earth. The writer couldn’t believe his own thoughts. No one had the right to rob someone of their life, right? He should be having a fit now that his boyfriend blatantly confessed a murder to him. But why his heart felt so much lighter? What kind of person Mark was turning him into? Were his morals already corrupted before he met the older, or this was the result of getting involved with the American?

"A little, yeah. A little too much, perhaps." Mark smiled weirdly, and continued. "I warned you in America that I did some pretty bad things when I was younger. Things that I would never dare to describe to you. I told you what was done to me though. Bits and pieces, horrors I barely remember in my nightmares. I couldn't tell you everything that I was, but I let you know about the Case. Being there... It killed me, it took away my reason, my existence. I did not survive that place. I died there, Jinyoung, and I knew I deserved that purgatory, because I put other people there too. Before I turned into a China Doll, I was a Doll hunter. Do you know what that mean?" Mark asked in a dispassionate voice. His expression was distant and his eyes were glacial. Jinyoung looked terrified. He could already hear the heavy rain pouring outside. Yes, it was indeed raining, and he felt like every drop of water falling from the sky mocked him. There was a 99% chance of raining that day, and it did, even though he stubbornly ignored the signs of bad weather.

“I know.” He replied quietly, as he covered his face with his hands.

“And you already knew about the HIV.” Mark’s sentence wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“I only found out recently, through Jackson. I know everything. I’m on PreP.” The Korean admitted and the next words that came out of him at that moment didn’t come from his heart. "Go away. Just go, Mark." The author felt like throwing up. He dig inside himself a way to hate the American, to feel disgusted by him, but all Jinyoung found in his core was acceptance and love. Such an internal discovery appalled him. His eyes watered as he realized he was the one romanticizing Mark all along. Jackson had just tried to open his eyes. He didn't know what to do with himself. He had a boyfriend who recently had someone killed and felt no remorse for it. His lovely Mark was a dangerous criminal, Ito Hara's associate, the one who helped the Doll Collector build his Case. And the worst part of all that story was that he loved such a man.

"Do you really want me to? We've come so far together... You've gotten so close to resurrect me." Mark sighed, as crouched in front of him and touched the side of his face. "So close, so much close. I could almost feel my heart beating faster, eager to feel."

"You're the one who’s not normal. You're a drug dealer, a sex trafficker, a whore, and a cold-blooded murderer! You lied to me." Jinyoung could feel his own tears staining his face. He didn’t mean those things, but the words kept gushing out of him. He tried to convince himself that Mark was toxic. He was a drug and Jinyoung was addicted to him. The writer felt like he needed to spend some time in rehabilitation before he could be near him again. But at the same time, he wanted to be near him, always.

"You're wrong. I never lied to you. I kept a couple of things from you, for your own sake. Look how conflicted you feel now. You are the one who lied to yourself. You chose to believe that I could be good, that I could fit your standards of morality. You are the creative mind in this room. That Jinyoung, is not my fault." Mark muttered, while shaking his head at him.

"Soo Young knew you were a monster! That's why she killed herself, right?" Jinyoung spat.

"You know I was a monster, Nyoungie. Are you gonna kill yourself too? Is that enough reason to make one commit suicide? Don't pin that on me. Her death was not caused by me. Sooyoungie was just too naive." Mark sighed and added coldly, "I see so much of her in you."

"I am not Soo Young. I will not be your victim." A sobbing Jinyoung said weakly.

"Of course you won't, because I am already yours. My days of predator are over. That's what love does to us, Jin. It turns us into easy preys. I am your prey now. Can you deal with it? What you're gonna do about it? Are you gonna claim me, or let me go?" A somber Mark whispered, just before he stood up and walked to the door. Those words rained on the Korean like violent waves of the ocean. Jinyoung lost all his balance as they rocked his very being, and carried him somewhere far from steadiness. The impact of that question destabilized him to the core. The foundation of his morals and principles were shaken, and flooded.

"Where are you going?!" A conflicted Jinyoung protested as he got up from the couch.

"Out. You need some time alone to recollect yourself. Think about us. Think about me. Next time we see each other, let me know if our 1% chance of success has really increased." Mark replied, before he walked out the door. Jinyoung froze on the spot. Was it over before it even started? He wanted to run after his lover but his legs would not obey him. Therefore, he sank onto the floor and struggled to put himself together like the older advised him.

Two hours later Jinyoung was still on the floor of his living room struggling to digest what happened. The rain outside grew heavier, and he started worrying about the older. Mark didn’t know his way around the city, nor could he speak Korean, and Jinyoung was pretty sure he wasn’t in his right mind when he left the apartment. He wondered why Jackson had to stop at his apartment and cause that ruckus. He wondered if the Chinese was already scheming behind his back. His blood ran cold when he realized that something could actually happen to Mark out there in the rain. Were Jackson’s employees watching him? Before dreadful thoughts started to torment him, the writer stood up, grabbed his car keys, and decided to look for his troubled lover. He felt like an imbecile for letting Mark go out in that kind of weather. He cursed himself for asking him to leave. As soon as he reached the entryway of his apartment, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He hoped it was Mark, so he didn't even check the name on the screen when he accepted the call.

"Babe, tell me where you are and I'll pick you up." The writer said hurriedly.

_"Jin?"_ The familiar voice made him realize that it wasn't his boyfriend on the other end of the line.

"Beom? Look, not now. That's not a good time. I have to go out, I have to find him."

" _He's here."_ The editor hurried to say.

"Mark's at your house?" The writer frowned at that.

" _Yeah. And we saw the bruises on his arm_." Jaebeom's voice had a tinge of concern.

_"What?! What bruises?"_ An alarmed Jinyoung went back to his living room and paced around the coffee table.

_"You haven’t seen them? Jae wanted to take him to the police station but Mark refuses to tell us what happened. He was soaked and trembling like a leaf when Jae brought him inside. He keeps crying, and man, it looks bad."_ Jaebeom sighed in frustration and a guilty Jinyoung suddenly remembered how strong was his grip on Mark's arms and how he roughly pushed him against the wall. He was so lost in his own wrathful jealousy that he didn't even care about how much pain he was indeed inflicting on his boyfriend. Did he really make Mark cry? Was he possessed by Zhou’s spirit or something? What the hell had gotten into him? Suddenly he felt like the worst human being in the world.

"Oh my God. I didn't know-"

" _Look, I stopped Jae from calling one of his cop aunts. He thinks someone mugged Mark, but I guess we both know what happened_." Jaebeom sounded low-key irritated. Jinyoung already expected a long sermon and he really felt like he deserved it.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I said I would protect him and-"

" _We're gonna have to have a serious talk with Jackson. This cannot happen again. Was he at your apartment?"_ Jaebeom inquired, taking the younger by surprise. Jinyoung couldn't understand why he was bringing up the Chinese.

"What? I mean, yeah, he stopped by when I was in the shower. I didn't even see him-"

_"How could he be such a coward! I'm not a fan of you new boyfriend but I'm not letting Jack get away with it. Mark is skin and bones compared to him. Seunnah is in the gym every fucking day, and he build all those muscles for what?! To hurt a poor skinny guy like Mark?!_ "

"JB, wait. Jackson didn't do anything. You got it all wrong." Jinyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to undo that misunderstanding.

_"Are you defending him now? Geez, man! Are you even listening to me? When you see the state of Mark, you will change your mind. This obsession Seunnah has with him has got end. This is not healthy for anyone, and-"_

"I did it, okay!? It wasn't Jack. I was the one who hurt Mark."

" _What?!"_ JB's voice almost pierced his eardrums.

"I didn't mean to. He told me I was hurting him but I just ignored-"

_"Why the fuck did you do that for?!"_

"I was angry and we were arguing, I had no idea of how bad I was gripping his arm-"

_"That's fucked up, Jinyoung!"_ The editor was clearly exasperated now.

"Look, I'm coming to see him and I'll apologize-"

_"Do not show up here today, he's staying with us for now. Seriously, I'm not letting you get anywhere near him until I hear the whole story. I don't know what's going on with you two but-"_

"What!? Jaebeom this is between Mark and me. You shouldn't meddle-"

_"Oh really? Maybe I should let Jae take him to the nearest police station then. How about that? I can even imagine the headlines next morning. The troubled life of the famous author Park Jinyoung and his gay lover, victim of domestic violence!"_

"I am not like that. You know that. I just lost control-"

_"I knew this fucking relationship would end up getting messy. You still resent him for what happened to your sister, don't you?"_

"No! This is not about noona. I made a mistake, that's all. Let me fix this." Jinyoung begged pitifully.

"I _really hope you can fix this, Jin. I just don't know if you want to. What if you decide to break his neck next time? I don't know if this is the result of Jackson messing with your head again, or if you're still not able to overcome what happened to SooYoung."_

"JB, I told you that I don’t care about the revenge-"

_"I'm don't know about that. The truth is, not long ago you and Jack wanted to murder the guy, and nothing I said to you made you change your mind. I cannot take any risks at the moment. I am not sure if you're not gonna do something stupid to him again. I mean, can you blame me for being extra careful? What do you want me to think? Jack shows up at your apartment, then you and Mark argue, and he ends up with nasty bruises on his arms! I swear If Seunnah is making you do this somehow-"_

"I told you Jackson has nothing to do with it! It all my fault, okay? And I hate myself for it." Jinyoung insisted, as he asked himself why he got so violent with the foreigner. He promised himself that he would never hurt Mark again. After punching him at the penthouse in LA, the writer didn't think he would raise his fists against anyone ever again.

_"Man, I do love you, and I really want to believe in what you’re saying, but I cannot let you fuck up your life because of a stupid revenge. This is for your sake too. I am your friend and I have to look after you when you're unable to. I just don't understand why you would do something like that to someone you claim to like. When you came to see me at the office I really thought-"_

"I love him, Jaebeom! I fucking love him and I just wanna see him and apologize, please just let me see him." The desperate author shouted on the phone.

_"Not today. Let him cool down and you should do the same. Just get your shit together and don't make things worse. Think about what you've done, why you've done it, and how you can prevent this from happening again. I'll see you tomorrow, Jin."_

As soon as JB hung up on him, Jinyoung realized he was not alone in the living room.

"Hyung, is everything all right? Did you guys fight or something?" Yugyeom asked as he and Bambam approached him. A startled Jinyoung swallowed, wondering what he should tell them. He didn't know how much of that conversation they heard, but he knew they would not be happy once they heard the whole story, especially the intimidating Thai beside his cousin.

"Where's Mark?" Bambam demanded.

"He's at JB's. We argued and he took off." Jinyoung started, with a defeated look on his face.

"And you didn't go after him? It's raining cats and dogs out there! You shouldn't let him leave by himself in the first place. Come on, hyung, whatever it is that you guys were arguing about, you should put your pride aside and just tell him he's right. That's how you end arguments, admit you're in the wrong, and he'll forgive you." Yugyeom gave him a sympathetic smile and the Thai sighed in frustration.

"It's not that easy. We yelled at each other. We were upset and we hurt each other. Jesus Christ, I'm so fucking sorry!" Jinyoung exclaimed, and crouched on the carpet just to start sobbing again. Yugyeom was shocked to see his cousin in that state. It was Bambam who patted the writer on back and tried to console him.

"Hey, my idiot friend is making things hard for you again, right? Be strong, okay? Don't give up on him now. You know, I tried to warn you before. I told you would end up miserable and hopeless. I told you that starting something you wouldn't be ready to handle would be your funeral, didn't I? Remember what you said to me? You told me you liked challenges and that you could live with the emotional struggle. Have you forgotten that determination? Well, don't. Because I believe you can do it. I truly do. Mark needs someone like you in his life. I'm rooting for you guys." Bambam tried to sound encouraging, bit his words made the author cry even harder.

"We both are." Yugyeom said quietly, without knowing how to cheer his hyung up. "Do you wanna talk about what happened? I mean why did you guys argue?"

"I'd rather not." Jinyoung said as he wiped the continuous tears from his face. He never felt so guilty for being consoled by someone. He wondered how the Thai would react once he learned about the bruises. He figured that it would indeed be his funeral.

"It's okay, we're not gonna pressure you to tell us anything. You're clearly upset and we don't intend to make you feel worse. I'll call Mark and see if I can beat some sense into him. I'm sure he'll be back here in no time." Bambam commented as he was about to leave the living room and go upstairs.

"No!" Jinyoung protested quickly. He would love to have Mark back, but he didn't want his cousin and Bambam to find out what happened. He wouldn’t know how to explain his actions nor Mark’s, so he lied. "It's no use. When he stormed out of the apartment, he left his phone here. It was JB who called me and told me he was at his house."

"Then I'll stop by his house later. You can take me there, right, Yuggie?" Bambam asked brightly.

"Sure, Bammie." Yugyeom replied and nodded at the same time. "We'll bring your boyfriend back to you hyung, you'll see."

"I’m really thankful for your support, guys. But do you think this is a good idea? JB told me to let him cool down a bit. I know you’re both trying to help and I really appreciate it, but Mark and I should start dealing with our problems by ourselves. I think that some hours apart could do us some good, we need time to rethink our attitudes and I need to prepare my reconciliation speech. So, maybe you guys should sit this one out?" The author suggested nervously as he finally stopped crying.

"You're not breaking up with him, are you?" Bambam narrowed his eyes at the writer.

"Never. It never crossed my mind. I love Mark and I don't intend to let go of him. Ever." Jinyoung stated firmly. Who was he trying to fool with all that hateful tirade of earlier? He knew the answer to Mark’s question even before the older challenged him to accept his past crimes. The Collector’ Case was destroyed long ago and Ito Hara was burned in it with his associates. Mark was not dealing anymore, nor exploiting people or beating them up. Cameron was gone for good. Why shouldn’t he open a bottle of champagne and celebrate? He just had to get Mark back and everything would be complete. Was he insane? Maybe, but he didn’t care. Bambam looked at him weirdly, but Yugyeom simply chuckled.

"Just make sure he knows that. And try to sound as desperate as you sound now. He will take you back in no time." Yugyeom assured his cousin, assuming that whatever the couple fought about, they would be able to overcome it.

"I truly hope so." The writer said absentmindedly. He wondered if JB had told Youngjae that he was the one who hurt Mark. He wondered if they would try to keep him from seeing him. He truly hoped his friends wouldn’t do that. He felt that whoever tried to stop him from seeing Mark would not be his friend any longer.

"That sounds quite romantic...But last time I asked if you loved him, you simply told me that you barely knew him. You only mentioned his beauty and his irresistible mysterious ways. What's changed?" Bambam cocked his head to the side and examined his features. Jinyoung wondered if Bambam was aware of all his best friend's ‘activities’. Did Mark confide in him how he planned Zhou's death? Did the Thai even know about the American’s HIV status? Did he really know the kind of man Mark was before he became Ito Hara's China doll?

"Oh, I know who he is now. And I'm not confused anymore. I'm ready to give 100% of myself to make this relationship work." Jinyoung said in a serious tone. Mark told him Cameron was his last crime.

"Good. I see that confidence is back now. Keep it that way." Bambam winked at him and clapped his hands as if he had successfully accomplished a mission. Jinyoung gave him a small smile, and it seemed that his mind and heart had reached a final conclusion. At that moment, the Korean convinced himself that he was Mark's prey as much as he was his. They both had reached the point of no return. They were each other's heaven and hell. He took comfort in the thought that they were each other's victims. If there was a sort of paradise within perdition, he had found it by Mark's side, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

The next day Jinyoung woke up on an empty bed. It was empty because Mark wasn't there, it was empty because he himself wasn't fully there. Whenever Mark wasn't around him, he felt incomplete, as if another piece of him was somewhere else, carried away by his other half. He missed him like crazy. He was naive to think that having Mark in Korea would force the American to embrace the boredom of his world. He hadn't realized that he would also be forced to embrace the darkness of Mark's world. Wherever the American went, that darkness would follow him. His lover was composed of dark shards. It made him sharp and it made him breakable. The irony of it all was that Jinyoung considered him pretty much the light of his life now, and even the colors of the furniture in their room became more alive when the American was there with him. He wanted those shinning vibrant tones back. He needed him back. And he swore to himself that when he brought his boyfriend back home, he would never take him for granted, nor would he feel scared of loving him again. No more judgment, no more shame, no more hesitation. He could keep his promise now. The time for confusion had come to an end. Mark told him that Zhou’s murder was his last illegal deed, and he believed him.

The writer reminded himself that he had to apologize for being violent with him and he promised himself that he would do his best to make it up to him. Once Mark forgave him, everything would be all right and their new beginning could finally take form. He couldn’t wait to dance with the American in his kitchen one more time and hear him laugh of his stupid jokes. He wanted to watch him make cocktails, and spoon him on his couch. He wanted to bring him to his balcony and watch the sunset with his boyfriend in his arms. He wanted to make love to him nonstop under the covers of that bed and slowly absorb his lover's darkness until they became one. He wanted to fill him with light, over and over again, till they both glowed throughout endless nights. He wanted Mark to see that he had his own radiance too, that every single dark shard in him had its own unique brightness. He was eager to let his boyfriend to realize, that wherever darkness planted its roots, light could also bloom. Jinyoung knew that it was about time the American added some luminosity to his life. He was also dying to take him on date outside. He owed him a date and that was exactly what he was going to do as soon as he got to see him again. He was about to call Jaebeom and ask him if he was finally allowed to see the American, but before he could even reach for his phone, Bambam suddenly barged into his room. He looked like he had witnessed the end of the world.

"Get up and get dressed. Mark's not well. Youngjae says he has a high fever since last night. They wanna take him to the hospital but Mark refuses to go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update again!^^  
> Have fun folks...If u can, of course.  
> What a tragedy...Will Mark be able to attend Nora's birthday since he's dying in a hospital????  
> LOL  
> Don't kill me guys...  
> Just kidding, I guess.  
> :)


	31. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The past is never dead. It's not even past.” - William Faulkner

"He locked himself in the room. He says he doesn't wanna talk to anyone but you." Youngjae said awkwardly as he opened the door of the house for the trio. Jinyoung was already removing his shoes at the entryway when his cousin's apologetic tone caught him by surprise.

"Look, you said you didn't want us to meddle, and I did my best to honor your request, hyung. Just know that this wasn't my idea, okay?" Yugyeom said quickly and walked back to the car.

"What's he talking about?" The author eyed Bambam in confusion.

"Don't mind him. Let's just focus on Mark for now, yeah?" The Thai said giving him a forced smile. Jinyoung was so concerned about his boyfriend that he didn't even notice the unusual way Youngjae and Bambam were behaving.

"My God! Don't you and JB have a spare key for the room? I mean, Mark could've fainted in there. You should've have called an ambulance and made your husband bring that door down." Jinyoung complained exasperatedly as he walked past the publicist and entered the house.

"Let's just go upstairs first." Youngjae swallowed and led them to the spare room where Mark was staying. Bambam and an anxious Jinyoung followed him without saying a word, but as soon as they stopped at Mark's door, Youngjae exchanged strange looks with the Thai beside the author and cleared his throat. 

"So, we'll give you guys some privacy, okay?" Bambam hurried to say as he pulled Youngjae away from the door and gave the writer a little push towards it. A still concerned but suspicious Jinyoung nodded and within a second, the two made themselves scarce.

"Mark, babe, it's me. Will you open the door for me, please? Listen, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have let you go out in the middle of that rain. You know that getting a fever in your condition is worrisome. Don’t be stubborn, okay? Let's get you help! I’m losing my mind with concern out here." Jinyoung started in a pleading voice. He knocked on the door twice and gave it a gentle kick before he faintly heard the American answer him.

"It's open." 

As soon as the Korean entered the room, he ran towards the older lying on the bed. He was about to carry Mark on his arms and take him out of the room when he noticed that his lover didn't look sick at all. He briefly touched his forehead, neck, hands and realized that he didn’t have a temperature. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at him as a whole.

"Did you take something for the fever? How are you feeling?" He asked still a bit agitated, while the older simple observed him.

"I am fine. Actually, now that you are here I am more than just fine." The older smiled at him fondly.

"Are you sure? I almost had a heart attack when Bambam said that you were sick and-"

"I'm perfectly healthy. Don't be mad at them. They just want us to make up. To be honest, I didn't think you would get here so fast after our last talk.” The American said softly, as he examined the writer’s features. He thought he couldn’t be wrong about that one. Jinyoung loved him indeed, and he was not going to lose that man if he could help it. He didn’t think the conservative Korean would date him once he found out everything about his past. He never imagined that he would be seeing him so soon. Nevertheless, there he was, as if nothing momentous had happened between them the day before.

"What the heck! They lied about you being ill?!" Jinyoung was quite taken aback, but relief slowly washed over him. He sat closer to his boyfriend as his nerves calmed down.

"Sorry to make you worry. Look at you, I've never seen you so panic-stricken." Mark chuckled and placed a hand above his. "Relax, I'm not dying or anything. At least not now."

"Don't say stuff like that." Jinyoung sighed in frustration before he spoke again. “Listen, I want you to know that I’m really okay with the HIV thing. I promise you we’re both going to take care of your viral load together. Because we’ll look after each other’s health all the time. We’ll regularly get tested, I’ll help you through the treatment and I-”

“I believe you.” Mark cut him off softly and he couldn’t help but admire the man in front of him. “Thanks for worrying about me. It’s cute. Come give me a hug.” He said as he opened his arms to welcome the younger. He flinched a little when he moved them and the Korean suddenly remembered what he had done.

"Let me see your arms." He tried to lift up Mark's sleeves, but the fabric of the sweatshirt he was wearing was quite thick, making it impossible for him to roll up its sleeves all the way up to his shoulder. He assumed that the clothing he was wearing was Jae's since he wasn't wearing those when he had left the apartment. “Come on, just take it off. Let me see the damage I caused.”

"It's nothing, really. Youngjae was the one making a fuss about the bruises, but they’re practically gone. Believe me, I've had worse." Mark hurried to comfort the troubled writer, but his words just made him feel worse.

"Shit, Mark! That’s not supposed to happen, you don’t deserve this. I'm so sorry, I can't believe I was such an asshole. I was so mad because you compared me to that guy, and for some ridiculous reason, I ended up behaving like him. I'm not supposed to act like that, I don’t even want to. I promise you I’ll be a better boyfriend. I love you, and hurting you is wrong and unacceptable. Now I wanna see how bad it is, okay? Just take the sweatshirt off, will you?" The author begged with a guilty expression plastered on his face. Mark chewed on his lips, and started removing the sweatshirt. He wanted to tell Jinyoung that he was forgiven the moment he showed up at the door of that room. He wished the younger knew that he didn’t need to apologize, after all, he had hurt him too. Mark was aware that words could cut as deep as a knife. He was certain Jinyoung had a hard time digesting everything Jackson revealed to him. The Chinese might’ve ruined their date yesterday, but it was him who kept secrets from his boyfriend since the beginning, causing a strain on their relationship.

“Look, Bambam was asking too many questions, and I had to tell him and Jae that we had a silly argument about the bar and I stormed out of the apartment in the middle of the rain just to slip and fall in a puddle of water. That’s how I explained these bruises so don’t go telling them anything you shouldn’t." The American warned him as he extended his slender arms to the author after throwing the sweatshirt on the floor. The younger gasped at what he saw.

“How can I ask you to forgive me after this?” Jinyoung grimaced as he carefully touched the purplish marks on his lover’s skin. He sighed, extremely disappointed in himself. “Bambam must know about it, Mark. All the others should know the kind of man I turned into-”

“Don’t be foolish! I told you it’s not a big deal. You don’t know how Bambam can be troublesome…Let’s just stick to my version of the story, okay? Believe me, it will be better for everyone.” The older assured him.

“Mark, Jaebeom already knows about it. I talked to him on the phone and he’s utterly mad about this whole thing. He thinks I wanna hurt you for real and that I’m still working on that stupid revenge with Jackson. I wanted to see you yesterday but he forbid me to come here. I just got the chance to enter this house today because he’s at Team Wang right now, otherwise he wouldn’t even let me in.” Jinyoung said in an anguished voice.

“He forbid you to come here? Had I known that, I would have just walked out of here myself. Who does he think he is? Trust me Jin, he won’t be able to keep us apart even if he tries. Why do you care about what he thinks anyways? I mean, I know he’s you friend but don’t you think he’s overreacting a bit?” The American raised an eyebrow at the inconsolable Korean.

“Mark, it’s more complicated than that. He had an alcoholic father and his mother was a victim of domestic violence. Believe me, he’s not really a fan of boyfriends who hurt their partners. He must be having a hard time realizing that his best friend is a damn coward.” He huffed and nervously ran a hand through his hair.

“Hey, Nyoungie, you’re not a coward. You came back for me even though you know who I am and who I used to be. There’s not a single coward bone in your body.” Mark gave him a consoling pat on his shoulder and continued. “You still love me, don’t you? You love me despite all the blood in my hands. Despite all the shit Jackson must’ve told you and that was probably true.”

“I do. I feel completely fucked up to admit this, but I do. I can’t help it.” Jinyoung said without hesitation, and the older couldn’t help but beam at him.

“Aww, don’t feel fucked up. Unless you want me to fuck you.” Mark licked his lips playfully and the other simply smirked at him.

“Maybe later. When we get home. You know, our apartment doesn’t feel like home when you’re not there. Even my pillow is not as comfortable as it is when you’re lying next to me. Our bed is sleepless without your body in it. I cannot dream without your inebriating scent all over me. My skin misses your passionate touches, your overwhelming heat.” Jinyoung commented dreamingly, as he ruffled his lover’s hair and gave him a peck on the lips. Mark’s heart fluttered in his chest. He wanted more than a brief kiss, now, he wanted to feel all of him.

“Wow, you must really love me then. Can you get sweeter than that?” Mark said mischievously, as he brought Jinyoung’s hands to his lips and started kissing each one of his fingers. The Korean shivered, yet, he could guess what his boyfriend was trying to do, so he just pulled his hand back. The American usually evaded serious topics through seduction, and Jinyoung couldn’t afford to be distracted now.

“Shouldn’t we talk about yesterday?” The writer raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well, I wish we could have had our date yesterday and Jackson had never stopped by the apartment. But you know, at least two good things came out of that dramatic episode of lovers’ quarrel. You have finally found out something I’ve been struggling to tell you, and I somehow conquered JB’s sympathy. Even if he still doesn’t like me, at least he pities me. Who knows, maybe he thinks I have the battered wife syndrome.” Mark grinned and winked playfully at the writer. He definitely wasn’t in the mood for a serious chat.

“Jesus, don’t joke like that. Bruises like these on your arms are not going to be part of our domestic routine.” Jinyoung sighed and looked away. He still wondered if it was just jealousy that made him lose control yesterday in his living room, or the fact that he was changing into someone else.

“Hey, I’m not a battered wife. You haven’t even married me yet.” The American grinned and added playfully, “Plus, don’t even think about proposing to me without taking me on a couple of dates first. Do you have any idea of how many times Yugyeom went on a date with Bam? They even exchange words in Korean! Bam is gonna learn this freaking difficult language or yours faster than me. Maybe I should have gone for the younger cousin, shouldn’t I? Writers are kinds slow.” He pouted but when an agape Jinyoung crossed his arms and feigned annoyance, he giggled. The older’s delighted mood pleased the Korean. He rolled his eyes at Mark, but he could tell his boyfriend was trying to make him feel less guilty for giving him those bruises. He hated fighting with Mark, but making up with him now felt liberating.

When the American jumped on his lap, he was startled at first but quickly wrapped his arms around him. He felt blessed for being able to feel his boyfriend’s warmth again. Despite of what those files said, despite of what Jackson thought, despite of who Mark really used to be, he was unable to look at him and see someone ruled by the devil. Mark didn’t seem like those kind of psychopathic villains or dangerous characters on TV who were so seasoned at their wickedness that it would usually take hours for the protagonist of the plot to realize just how evil they really were. His current boyfriend was far from being a master manipulator or a deranged murderer. He wouldn’t take advantage of people, nor would he make them feel lost and broken after getting involved with him. That was the love of his life, and Jinyoung felt that even if Mark became a mass murder the next day, it wouldn’t change how secure he felt of his love for him. The damned could also love, and be loved, couldn’t they?

“So you think I’m slow?” A provocative Jinyoung adjusted Mark’s bum on his lap, making the older straddle him. Then he gave his buttocks a gentle squeeze. “I always go faster, and deeper when you ask nicely.” He whispered very close to his ear. Mark instantaneously blushed and gave him light smack on the shoulder.

“We’re at your friend’s house, Jinyoung. Don’t get any ideas.” Mark looked away, trying to hide his flushed face from the younger. He was certainly in the mood for a quickie, but he wouldn’t let his lover know about that. He didn’t know if it was too soon for Jinyoung to have sex after the HIV revelation. On the other hand, the Korean was amused by his lover’s embarrassment, so he leaned forward to witness the redness of his cheeks. With the American so close to him, he was unable to think straight. He didn’t think he could resist his lover’s charms for too long.

“Oh, I’m not suggesting anything. You were the one trying to suck on my fingers seconds ago, and now you’re sitting on my lap. You’re being naughty. You think I don’t know what’s going on through your head, right now?” The Korean eyed him sexily and ran his fingers across his naked chest. The older quietly watched his boyfriend’s head move downwards to spread softly kisses on his collarbone and stomach. Mark shivered and let out a muffled moan when he felt the tip of Jinyoung’s wet tongue stroke his left nipple. He gasped and quickly captured the younger’s face in his hands.

“Stop teasing me. They will probably hear us.” The older whined as he glanced at the door. Then he looked back at his lover with a glint of desire in his cinnamon eyes and chewed on his lips. “Do you think Bam and Jae are still in the house?” he asked in a lower tone and his hips involuntary thrust against the younger. Jinyoung immediately held him in place, before his boyfriend started to move his tantalizing hips back and forth on his half-hardened member that suffocated underneath his jeans and poked at the back of Mark’s shorts. He knew that if Mark kept grinding at him like that, he wouldn’t be able to control the urge to take him right there on that bed, which wasn’t theirs, and that was the only fact that made him hesitate.

“Wait! Are you actually considering having sex here in Choi Youngjae and Lim Jaebeom’s place? I don’t think the owners of the house will be okay with it. Especially JB, he’ll probably think I tried to fuck a forgiveness out of you.” Jinyoung said thoughtfully, but he didn’t stop his lover’s hand from touching his clothed hard on. He was unable to deny the older’s touches anymore.

“Shit, I don’t care.” Mark murmured, as he brought his boyfriend’s face to him and kissed his lush lips. He could already feel how turned on the younger was and the clothed erection against his butt was a proof of that. He whimpered in anticipation when Jinyoung slipped on hand under the shorts he was wearing and massaged his entrance. He was glad the older wasn’t wearing any underwear. The younger could easily feel his delicious flesh against his palms. As soon as the younger removed his shirt, Mark rocked against him while his tongue invaded his mouth. Jinyoung moaned into the breath-taking kiss as he felt the American wrap his arms around his shoulder and ran his nails across his back. He had to have him soon, but he knew they would have to be less loud than usual.

“Let’s do this quick but don’t make me groan too loud, okay?” The writer whispered to Mark, before he sucked on his neck. His hard thick dick ached to be released from his jeans.

“I’ll try.” The other replied, and roughly pulled Jinyoung’s hair, just to make the Korean face him. “Will you be able to do the same for me?” he licked his lips sensuously and brushed them against his.

“I really want you, babe, but we need something to loosen you up. I’m not using saliva this time. I don’t wanna risk hurting you further. You’re very precious to me, in every single way. Is there anything useful in this room that can help me lubricate you?” A panting Jinyoung whispered, after giving his bum a playful slap.

“Let’s do it with our clothes on, then. I’m so hard right now. I could come by just dry-humping you.” Mark whispered in a mellow voice, as he pulled the younger impossibly closer to him and rubbed their chest together. Jinyoung purred, and unzipped his pants just to free his hard on from his pants while he reached for Mark’s manhood with his other hand.

“We could jerk off together.” The younger suggested, as he pulled Mark’s shorts down to his thighs and took his erected penis in his hand to squeeze it a bit. His tip was already moist with precome.

“I don’t know. If someone comes in, they’ll see our dicks kissing. No one is supposed to see your dick but me, especially when it’s kissing mine.” The American chuckled, but moaned louder when an enthralled Jinyoung pressed his erection against his and started to stroke them together.

“It will only takes us some minutes, no one will see. Can you come fast for me, babe?” Jinyoung’s arousing tone and his hot breath against his ear was too much for Mark. As soon as the younger’s teeth grasped against the sensitive skin of his earlobe and nibbled on it, the American shuddered. His body flooded with warmth and tensed with his premature climax. Within a second Jinyoung’s hands and pants were smeared with his boyfriend’s sticky release. He didn’t know if it was the excitement of being caught in the act in someone else’s house, his boyfriend erotic ministrations, the fact that he was too in love, or everything altogether that made him come hard on the younger’s hand so quickly. He was so lost in his own pleasure that he had to hold on to the Korean’s shoulder tighter to avoid losing his balance on his lover’s lap. His boyfriend held him in place while his orgasm rolled through him. A proud Jinyoung groaned as he watched the blissful expression on the older’s face, the way his body convulsed and came completely undone on his lap. He stopped stroking himself just to marvel at the orgasmic image of that alluring man before him. When Mark’s head fell back, he couldn’t help but lick a few strings of sweat that cascaded down his lover’s seductive long neck. He felt like drinking and munching all of him.

“Fuck, I couldn’t wait any longer. Sorry. Why do you have to be so goddam sexy!?” A gasping Mark uttered, as he came down from his high. “Do you want me to finish you? I can suck you off if you want.” The American offered in an apologetic tone. Jinyoung lifted his head from the older’s shoulder and shook his head at him.

“You know what I want. I wanna finish in you. Is that okay? Maybe we can use a little bit of cum to help me get in.” The Korean grunted as lust clouded his eyes. Mark nodded and lifted his hips a bit, so the younger could prepare his hole with the cum that he had just discharged. The writer didn’t know if the American was in a hurry to have him inside him, or he was worried about being caught, but the moment he started to stretch the older, the latter eagerly thrust against his finger. It didn’t take long for Jinyoung to bury his finger smeared with semen inside him all the way down to the base. The American took deep breaths in order to help his anal muscles relax and Jinyoung struggled to control his libido as he watched his boyfriend slowly fuck himself on his finger. He could feel Mark open up wider as he slid another finger coated with semen in his hole and massaged him. He kept one of his fingers stiff and pressed outward from the center of his lover’s anus to gently simulate vibrations in different directions.

“Nyoungie, You’re gonna make me hard again.” The American quivered, arching his back as he felt the younger’s finger brush against his prostrate. “Don’t you wanna come home yet?” As soon as the words left Mark’s mouth, the writer removed his fingers from inside him and replaced them with his aching erection. The American wantonly sat on him completely and started moving up and down. Jinyoung took hold of his hips and increased the spellbinding rhythm of their lovemaking while penetrating Mark deeper. He spread his boyfriend’s buttocks further apart as he rammed into his ass incessantly. They didn’t seem to care about being loud anymore. The erotic noises echoing in the room could probably be heard from outside. Every time the older clamped around Jinyoung’s dick, he growled, and every nerve of his body tingled. The writer’s throbbing dick twitched and swelled. The younger knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer at that point. He could already feel his toes curling as the older’s mewls enraptured him. His senses were completely focused on filling Mark with him, and the increasing heat created by their arousal guided him to a place of nameless ecstasy. He vigorously slammed into Mark, sheathing himself inside him all the way down to his balls in a powerful thrust. He felt the peak of his pent up pleasure explode and spread around those cosy, welcoming walls he learned to love so much.

“I’m home.” Jinyoung groaned loudly as he planted his seed fully inside his willing boyfriend’s body.

“Welcome home.” A lightheaded Mark whispered as he gasped for air, and tried to calm down the beatings of his heart. He milked his lover’s dick with his ass until he felt that there was no more creamy load left in the younger. His eager hole swallowed all of it. He felt satiated as soon as the younger’s cum started to drip from his anus.

Jinyoung laid on his back with a thud bringing a tired Mark to collapse on him. Judging by the moisture on his stomach, he could tell that his boyfriend had come a second time without even being properly stimulated. He took his spent dick out of his lover and held him close. He gave the older a series of dazzling, loving kisses while whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Mark rested his head on the Korean’s toned chest, closed his eyes and intertwined their fingers, while he enjoyed the gently caresses of Jinyoung’s hand on his back. For a moment, he even forgot where they were. At that point, he wouldn’t even care if anyone walked in on them. 

“Geez, baby, I’ve worn you down. I guess being slow has its perks, right? I made you come twice in a row. Do you still think writers are boring?” The Korean asked with a smirk, as he watched the older yawn.

“Maybe they are. You’re the only exception.” The American paused and smiled at him. “Because I love you.”

“I love you too. A lot. More than my own life.” Jinyoung declared, and he could swear he was the happiest man alive at that moment.

“You are my life now.” Mark confessed and brought his face closer for a kiss. Jinyoung buried his fingers in his hair and lifted his head to assault his boyfriend’s tender lips once more. However, suddenly an embarrassed Youngjae barged into the room with a hand covering his eyes. The writer quickly put his dick back inside his pants and zipped it. As soon as he did, he eyed the shocked American by his side, who thankfully had already pulled his shorts up. They were too astonished to say anything, but the publicist was ready to explain himself.

“Guys, I really hope you’re done with the make up sex, because JB is coming home. He called me and said he’s stopping by to pick up some documents he should’ve brought to Team Wang this morning. He thinks I’m with Bambam doing some shopping for Nora’s birthday party tomorrow. So I’m gonna go now. If you need a change of clothes, feel free to borrow some of mine. Jinyoung knows where my closet is. By the way, if there are any cum stains on these sheets, you guys take it home and wash them yourselves. No need to give them back. The same goes for the sweatshirt and shorts I lent to you Mark. Get rid of it. Now hurry up and go get cleaned, this room smells funny. Bye!” The publicist stated at once and abruptly left the room, as quick as he entered it. The quiet couple on the bed was frozen on the spot during his brief speech, but as soon as they heard the front door open and close they broke into a fit of laughter.

“Poor thing. I guess he waited till we finished before he came in.” The author shook his head amusedly. Then he sat up on the bed and examined his clothes with a spark of worry in his eyes. We should indeed get cleaned up and get out of here before Jaebeom shows up.”

“Well, I’m not afraid of him. Why should I? Besides, he only sees me as a damsel in distress now.” Mark winked at the younger, who sighed in frustration and scratched the back of his head.

“You didn’t come here on purpose just to get some points of sympathy from my editor, did you?” Jinyoung made a face at him, and got up from the bed.

“No way. I kinda got lost yesterday, so I called Jae and he picked me up. He was the one who brought me here.” Mark replied as he remembered why he called the publicist. He didn’t tell anyone about the strange sensation he felt as soon as he stormed out of Jinyoung’s apartment that afternoon. He could swear he was being followed. That familiar feeling of having someone watching him from afar was palpable. He didn’t know when he started to run aimlessly through the streets trying to find a place to hide. He just ran as fast as he could in order to find a crowded place where he couldn’t be easily spotted. After a while, he finally found a bus stop that could shelter him from the rain. He tried to calm down. He looked around him, panting heavily as he scanned all his surroundings. He thought he had heard someone call out to him, and his whole body trembled. He knew that voice and the fact that it was calling his name sent a wave of panic through him. He knew he wasn’t getting goose bumps just because of the cold, his mind knew he was in danger. He was being hunted, and his body was on full alert. He was genuinely afraid. He struggled to catch his breath as he kept his head low and tried to hide his face behind his hoodie. He didn’t know where he was, but there were a lot of people at the bus stop, so he felt less threatened there. He took his phone out of his pocket and though he wanted to call the first person that came to his mind, he didn’t think it would be fair to beg Jinyoung’s help at that moment. He didn’t feel like calling Yugyeom or Bambam either, because he didn’t want the youngsters to see him in that state. Therefore, he called the number of another Korean that could possibly be there for him, the one who claimed that wanted to be his friend, the kind publicist Choi Youngjae.

Youngjae seemed quite alarmed when he heard him crying on the phone. The American described where he was, but his fast and panicked English made no sense to the Korean. The publicist then instructed Mark to pass his phone to someone at the bus stop, and the older just did what he was told. A kind Korean old lady gave Youngjae the exact location of the bus stop, and only then he was able to find out the American’s whereabouts. Youngjae dropped everything at Team Wang and went to his rescue. Mark could never forget the relief he felt when he saw the door of Youngjae’s car open up for him. The moment he lifted his head to acknowledge the publicist on that rainy street, his eyes wandered again. He gasped when he saw a tall hooded figure in the shade of a lamppost across the street. The figure was wearing a long black raincoat with an attached hood large enough to cover his entire head and the sides of his face. Mark couldn’t identify who was that person in the middle of that downpour, but somehow, he recognized his gaze. He could never forget those eyes, and they were looking straight at his. He was petrified, to say the least.

At some point, Youngjae’s voice hurried Mark to get inside the car, distracting him for a second. The American nodded and got inside the vehicle. Before he stepped into the car, his eyes searched the lamppost across the street again, but the figure wearing the black raincoat was gone. Mark was glad the younger immediately started driving away from that bus stop. He only realized that he was weeping when the publicist’s concerned voice urged him to stop crying and tell him what had happened. Mark obviously didn’t have enough strength to describe to Youngjae what exactly bothered him. He thought he was going mad. That person standing in the rain earlier couldn’t be in South Korea. That person couldn’t be anywhere among the living. That person wasn’t even alive anymore.

When he arrived at the publicist’s house and Youngjae gave him a change of clothes, Mark was able to calm down a little bit. He saw cats everywhere as he walked around the place, and he wondered which one of them was Nora. The thought of attending a cat’s birthday the next day made him smile to himself. But he wasn’t even sure if he would be able to attend the event anymore. If Jinyoung decided to break up with him, he wouldn’t think twice about going back to America. He tried to shun away that painful thought as he surveyed the walls of Youngjae’s house. They had many photographs, paintings, and every corner of the house seemed to have a bookshelf. His eyes also caught a glimpse of a large backyard outside and he noticed a couple of cat trees in different spots. Mark liked that atmosphere. It really looked like a happy family lived there. A family with furry pets, of course. Some items of the furniture looked like they were often victimized by feline claws.

The American had already entered the bathroom and removed his top when Jaebeom accidentally opened the door of the bathroom. The editor wasn’t aware of what was going on, but as soon as he laid eyes on the American’s naked arms he even forgot how to speak English. Mark was startled to see him there, but he immediately reminded himself that Youngjae was married to the editor, and that it was natural for him to be there since he lived with the publicist. As expected, JB started asking questions, which Mark guessed that were about the bruises, but he wasn’t sure, since Korean was unintelligible to him. Youngjae quickly went to the bathroom when he heard the pair using different languages upstairs. He was about to explain to his husband why Mark was in their bathroom, but words abandoned him as soon as he also laid eyes on the bruises the American unsuccessfully tried to hide from them. The shock on the publicist face when he saw the marks on the American’s arm was clear. Youngjae reminded his husband that Mark couldn’t understand a single word he was saying, but JB was still unable to express himself in English. The publicist explained to Mark that his husband usually got that ‘upset’ when he saw people hurt, and told the foreigner to ignore his temporary panicked state. Therefore, it was Youngjae’s turn to start his interrogatory.

Mark was not comfortable with the crowd in the bathroom. He didn’t like the word police coming out of Youngjae’s mouth. He felt exposed, cornered and defenseless. It had been a while since he felt that way. He missed Jinyoung and he hated to realize that maybe his boyfriend would never take him back after that argument. Then he thought about the hooded man, in the shade of that lamppost, standing there in the rain, looking at him. He started crying again in order to avoid the questions from the pair and asked for some privacy. Alone in the bathroom, he struggled to recompose himself. Soon he thought of an excuse to explain those bruises to the married couple and during dinner, both Youngjae and Jaebeom offered him to stay the night. When Bambam showed up the next morning in the couple’s house, Mark had to be more careful with his words. The Thai was aware that he and Jinyoung had fought, but the American was relieved to find out that his friend didn’t know how he got the bruises. Bambam surprisingly accepted Mark’s unbelievable account of the events. His best friend refrained from asking too many questions when he told him that after arguing with Jinyoung, he stomped out of the apartment and fell in the middle of the street. The American didn’t mind when Youngjae and Bambam suggested to prank Jinyoung. He also wanted to know if the writer would come find him after he heard he had a fever. Gladly, Jinyoung showed up and they were finally okay again.

“Earth to Mark! Are you even listening to me? I’m gonna borrow some clothes from Jae’s closet. Get in the shower, we cannot have our first date with cum stains all over our clothes. I’m sure you feel all sticky too.” The author announced enthusiastically.


	32. Eyes on Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I turn away reluctant from your light, and stand irresolute, a mind undone. A silly, dazzled thing deprived of sight, from having looked too long upon the sun”. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

“Are we going on a date today?” The American seemed to focus on the present again, as his thoughts were interrupted by his boyfriend’s excited voice. He didn’t think it was worth telling the younger about what he saw yesterday while he took shelter at that bus stop. He’d rather assume that he had hallucinated all of it. It wouldn’t be the first time he saw things that weren’t really there. Years ago, after he left the Collector’s Case, he kept seeing things too. He didn’t think it made sense to worry about the dead, after all they could not hurt the living, could they? He wouldn’t allow his past to hinder his present hope, and future expectations.

“As soon as we get out of here. How does that sound?” The writer extended his hands to help Mark get up from the bed and noticed that the older wobbled a little. “But we can postpone in case you feel a bit sore.” He added with a smirk.

“Were not going to postpone anything, ever. Going on a date sounds good. But I guess we should play a round of 21 questions first.” The American said uneasily. He felt that their reconciliation wouldn’t be complete if he avoided clarifying a couple of things to his lover.

“What, now?! Why?” The younger frowned in confusion.

“Next time you have doubts, I want you to come directly to me in order to get your answers. What you found out through Jackson you could’ve learned about it with time, by my side. I’m sure you still need me to validate some facts you think you know about me. So let’s get this over with. Ask away.” The American stated firmly.

“Mark that’s not necessary, I-”

“Just do it. Come on, what was the most terrible thing you read in those files Jia Er private investigators gathered about me?” Mark cut him off and gave him a challenging look. “I promise to be frank with you.”

"Maybe something about you and Ito being lovers." Jinyoung’s expression became more serious as he stared at his boyfriend. Mark held his gaze and didn’t delay his answer.

"He fucked me whenever he liked. It's not like I had a say in it. If I rejected him it would be worse. No one could refuse Hara, no one dared to. I sucked a couple of VIPs cocks, but that was it. I was not his lover, I was his China Doll, even before I was sent to the Case. Next question." The older pushed, ignoring his lover’s momentarily disconcerted demeanor.

"You kidnapped people and took them to the Case?" Jinyoung asked in a small voice.

"The thing is, I was a Doll Hunter without even knowing it. I had names, and addresses of people who owed Hara. I thought that my job was just locate their families and friends in order to blackmail the debtors. Only later, I found out that Cameron used that information to bring relatives of the debtors to the Case. I met those people there during the training camp. So, yeah, I was a great help to the Case’s success. Next question." Mark’s determination never wavered, even though he wasn’t sure if the writer appreciated the raw honesty of his answers.

"Did you make Zhou kill your uncle?" The Korean furrowed his brows, as he saw his boyfriend’s face contort a bit.

"No. I don't know exactly how it happened. I was out one day and when I came back I found him dead. After Cam was arrested for shooting that cop at my family's frontyard, Dan told me that Cam did it. According to him, Cam did it for love, because he had found out the old man was working with the police. He claimed that the new boss of the Neighborhood would kill me too if he found out that a Tuan was plotting against him. Since Dan was a compulsive liar, I'd rather believe what the doctors said, that the Alzheimer did it, and that my uncle simply choked on his food. Next question." Mark replied dryly.

"At college, did you plant dugs at the dean's office and made a student lose an eye?" Jinyoung swallowed when he saw his lover scoff.

"Yes, that dean was a pain. I had to silence him. As for the snitch, Cameron gave me two alternatives. It was his eye or his head. I'd rather think I made the less nocive choice. At least the student didn’t die. Next question."

"Did you steal money from the Case because you wanted to run away with Cameron and Bam?"

"That's what I wanted Cameron to believe when he found out. My original plan was just disappear from LA with Bam. But Cam, of course didn't buy my story and confided in Dan that I planned to flee from the Neighborhood. It didn't take long for Hara to lock me up at the Case." The American sighed and paused. He slowly licked his lips and grimaced, as if retelling that story left a lingering bad taste in his mouth. He took a deep breath, chewed on his lips and seemed to try to say something more, but he just didn’t know how to put it in words.

"Those monsters did terrible things to you and the other Dolls there, things you barely remember, but you got them back for what they did, right? The doors of that hell are tightly shut now because you set it on flames." The younger encouraged him to say more, to let it all out.

"Oh, you're talking about the rumors! Have you heard that I stabbed Hara's dick 777 times and that I started the fire? Sounds kinda ludicrous, don't you think? The truth is, I was as high as a kite the day it happened. Some of Hara's rivals broke into the place and started shooting everything that moved. I can't remember much but I was with him when he got shot and he fell right on my lap. He begged me to help him, but all I did was use his body as a shield, and yeah, I did stab him at some point with a piece of glass I found on the floor. I just did not count how many times though. I guess I was too out of it to realize that he wasn't moving anymore." Mark stared at the floor as his mind travelled to that very moment in which he was bathing in the Collector’s blood. He also remembered of a dream he once had in which he and other Dolls locked the Programmer, the Repairer, the Collector, and a couple of Doll Hunters and Doll Worshippers in that damned Repair Shop just to watch them burn. The image that flashed through his mind brought him a sort of comfort, but he wasn’t sure if it was real. There were many things he dreamed about while he was asleep, and most of time he could not tell if they had really happened or not. He dreamed awake too. Sometimes he just felt that he could not rely on his traumatized brain. Therefore, he simply chased those flashbacks away, and whenever they seemed too much for him to handle, he just told himself they were just the result of the great amount of drugs he took in the past.

"But you helped to bring the Collector's Case down, you were secretly providing his rivals valuable information that could ruin Hara's business, right?" The younger’s curiosity yearned to be quenched at once.

"A powerful man like Hara had several admirers, important associates, influential connections and lots of enemies among them. His empire fell because those who were close to him accepted the bribe of his rivals. Betrayal in this kind of business is quite frequent. Sooner or later, another boss would take his place. Cameron was pissed because Hara wouldn’t let me out of the Case, Dan didn’t like the fact that Hara monopolized me too much, my price was too high and he could rarely afford me. Others envied the Collector’s popularity among his followers. Some Dolls had special relationships with certain worshippers. Hara didn’t like that, so limited the times a worshipper could rent a Doll within a month. The members of his cult claimed he was being too strict. It seemed like everybody had a reason to try to get back at him. There were many dissatisfied. I believe that even he himself knew that his downfall was near. I just speeded things up a bit. I sold him out. Offering minor gangs all they needed to bring him down.” Mark explained, surprised that Jinyoung was still willing to listen to that unfortunate tale.

“Then I guess at the end of the day you were some kind of antihero.” Jinyoung gave him an understanding look.

“I don’t like labels. Plus, I had help, I was smart. I was what I needed to be given the circumstances.” Mark clarified to him, with a bitter expression on his face.

“What about my sister’s circumstances? After that car ride with Cameron, did you really want Soo Young to abort the baby?” The Korean looked away as the question slipped from his mouth. Mark’s expression changed, and he dropped his eyes to the floor.

“I’m a pro-choice kind of guy. I just told her that she should only keep the baby in case she felt that it was the right thing to do. She asked me what I would’ve done if I were in her position. I told her I would certainly terminate the pregnancy or die trying.”

“Mark, why?” The writer’s tone was sad now.

“She had a fiancé who would probably use her pregnancy to finally drag her back to Korea. He never wanted her to study in America in the first place. I concluded that her academic and professional dreams would be buried once Jia Er and her family convinced her that marriage was a priority, and that keeping the kid was an obligation. The HIV possibility was the nail in the coffin. She wouldn’t know how to tell her conservative parents how she got infected. Soo Young refused to get tested, but she had already assumed the worst. She was aware that the baby’s health could be compromised in case she kept it. God, we were probably stoned when we had this conversation at that cheap hotel.” Mark shook his head in frustration and continued. “I didn’t tell you about the car ride with Cameron before, because I would have to tell you about the HIV.”

“You couldn’t be the father of that child, could you?” The Korean pressed.

“No, I told you before. We weren’t like that. We were together for three years but she knew I was gay. It only happened twice and there were drugs involved. The first time we had sex it was in my dorm when I was still in college, and the second and last time was more than 2 years later, the day before she died. She was 4 months pregnant, it was impossible for me to be the father of her child. Jia Er is just too stubborn to think that it could be mine. They kept breaking up and getting back together all the time. They were a weird couple.” Mark quietly pointed out, as he reminisced about those times.

“She was probably torn between accepting what she had in Korea and embracing what she had in America.” Jinyoung concluded.

“We probably had access to different versions of Soo Young. You knew her as your Korean older sister who was engaged to your Chinese friend. I knew her as a woman in search for independency, yet too limited by her culture and beliefs. I liked to believe that she could be free of those invisible chains whenever we were together. I could also put aside my troubles with Cameron and forget my criminal occupation for a couple of hours while we talked and shared needles.” Mark added without ceremony.

“I don’t know how to make Jackson stop hating you for what happened to her.” Jinyoung confessed, looking completely at loss.

“That’s not your job. I’ll deal with him.” Mark stated with confidence.

“What? Are you gonna kill him or something? Should I be worried about his safety?” Jinyoung furrowed his brows, and started pacing around the room.

“Cam was the last. And I did it to avoid more ‘conjugal visits’, remember? There won’t be any more blood in my hands from now on, okay? I won’t hurt Jia Er more than he’s already hurt.” Mark assured the younger.

“Then what we’re gonna do?” Jinyoung asked with a certain urgency in his voice.

“Only time will tell.” Mark shrugged. “By the way, you should know that Jia Er and I have met even before I arrived here in Korea. It makes you wonder if he wasn't already working on a revenge of his own without you knowing it, right?”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” The writer was obviously once more stunned. He stopped pacing and stared hard at his boyfriend.

“I just didn’t wanna worry you.” Mark gave him an apologetic look, and the other sighed in frustration.

“How did you meet? When?” The Korean crossed his arms and inhaled.

“He showed up a couple of times at 777 ways. I guess Bambam doesn't even remember him because Jia Er mostly went there during my shift. I was back from the Case and Cameron had been recently arrested at the time. Honestly, I was not in my right mind. I felt free to hook up with whomever I wanted and to be in control of my own body. I was fucking everything that walked back then, and your Chinese friend seemed to be pretty interested in me. He would strike up a conversation whenever I was behind the counter of the bar, he gave me exaggerated compliments, and kept ogling me. I found him pretty easy-going and extremely attractive. I was convinced he was gay, but he would never properly make a move on me. He was doing a good job deceiving me. Until one day he drank too much, started calling me names and thrashed the bar. He was screaming in Mandarin like a crazy man. When he mentioned Soo Young I immediately remembered the photos she had shown me. Luckily, a couple of Dan's guys were there and kicked him out before he broke a bottle of whiskey on my head. I never saw him again after that. When you showed up at my shabby apartment looking for your cousin I would never imagine that Ji Er had sent you there. Afterwards, when you told me about the revenge plan and mentioned Soo Young’s fiancé I already knew who he was.” Mark could clearly see the further astonishment on Jinyoung’s face.

“Geez, I feel like killing him now.” The unsettled Korean exhaled and ran a hand through his hair.

“Impossible. You don’t have it in you.”

“I pulled a trigger once, remember? The gun was unloaded but it still counts. I also punched you in the face, I gave you these bruises on your arms…Perhaps, I am just as vile as...” He trailed off, as reticence filled his sentences. The younger’s guilty eyes seemed distant for a second, and Mark knew he was about to start torturing himself again, but he would have none of it. Therefore, the American approached him calmly and placed his hands on each side of his face.

“No, you’re not. Moreover, don’t feel so bad about a few violent interactions between you and I. Whenever you imagine you’re the bad guy in certain situations, remember the Mark you read about in those files. Don’t mistake him for a weakling. I know how to deal with abusive fucks. You’re don’t look like one of them. But here goes a warning, if you don’t wanna end up like Cameron Zhou you’d better think before doing anything stupid in the future. I’m a vengeful motherfucker.” Mark said playfully and feigned an angry face. His boyfriend couldn’t help but scoff.

“Is that a threat? If I cross the line you’re gonna murder me then? Can you promise me that?” Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at him and played along. He was definitely not bothered by the fact that Mark got rid of the dealer. If Zhou were still alive, Jinyoung felt that he would probably have suggested it to Mark at some point.

“Yeah, right. I’m gonna murder you with kisses. Do you want me to show you how? Are you ready?” The older jumped on the writer and started spreading moist kisses all over his face. Jinyoung giggled at his lover’s attempt to smother him with his mouth. He tried to capture his lips with his own, but Mark’s movements were too fast for him.

They ended up in the bathroom, ravishing each other’s body and consummating their eternal love for each other again. They showered together and borrowed some clothes from the publicist’s closet. They grabbed the sheets from the bed along with the cum-stained garments and left the house. When the couple walked to the car they were ready to go on an unforgettable date. However, as soon as Jinyoung started the car, Lim Jaebeom parked on the driveway. He was obviously surprised to see his best friend there with the American together in a car. Jinyoung sighed as he watched the editor walk towards them and stop in front of his vehicle.

“Before you say anything, Youngjae knows that I’m here.” Jinyoung started, as he got out of the car and faced his best friend. Mark, who was sitting on the passenger seat, just watched the two quietly through the windshield.

“I don’t know why you’re wearing my husband’s clothes, but it’s obvious he was the one who invited you here. It’s not the first time he plays the matchmaker, right? I wonder if he would support this relationship if he knew what’s going on.” JB sneered.

“What exactly do you think it’s going on?” The writer narrowed his eyes at him.

“Poor Jae has no idea of what you did to your boyfriend and that seducing the foreigner is part of a sick reveng-”

“I told you this is not about Soo Young! It’s inexcusable what I did and we talked about it, all is forgiven. Will you please get off my case?” Jinyoung pleaded, but Jaebeom took a deep breath and ignored his request.

“I thought we agreed I would let you see Mark after you told me the whole story.” Jaebeom folded his arms across his chest and stared hard at him. Jinyoung swallowed.

“It’s not like we agreed on that. You just insisted that I should stay away-”

“I told you to think about what you've done, why you've done it, and how you could prevent that shit from happening again. Have you come to a conclusion by now?” Jaebeom asked with disdain, as his eyes lingered on the American inside Jinyoung’s car.

“JB, I know you’re trying to help, but-”

“Mark hyung, get out of the car.” Jaebeom raised his voice, suddenly shifting to English, and went to open the door of Jinyoung’s vehicle. Mark was startled when he heard the editor call his name. He wasn’t able to follow the conversation the two were having in Korean, so he wasn’t sure if getting out of the car was a good or a bad thing. The editor’s tone didn’t sound very friendly, yet, he still did what he asked.

“Babe, just go back to the car, we’re going home. He’s being ridiculous. ” Jinyoung said quickly, as the older stood beside him eyed him in confusion. Mark examined his lover’s features and quickly realized what that was about. Then he decided to intervene. He turned to Jaebeom with the intention of ending that misunderstanding.

“What is it? You still think he’s in cahoots with Jia Er? You’re not giving him a hard time because of-”

“I’m not gonna even listen to you, just go back to the house! You can’t even see that protecting him now, gives him a chance to do it again in the future. Forgiveness enables and feeds this vicious cycle of abuse! You’ll only realize that once he puts you in a hospital bed.” The editor snapped, and the speechless writer eyed him in disbelief.

“I’m going back to my boyfriend’s apartment whether you want it or not.” The American said firmly and sighed. “Look, Jaebeom, I really appreciate that you’re looking after my well-being, but-”

“If you don’t get into the house, I’ll call the cops myself.” The editor cut him off, and Jinyoung’s eyes widened.

“Are you kidding me?” The writer asked, but his vexed friend didn’t answer him. He just focused on Mark now.

“I know Jin is not a bad guy. But since Jackson and you started messing with his head, he’s not acting normal. I have the impression that once you’re both done with him, he’ll end up in a straightjacket. Now, if you really like him, don’t get inside this car. We both know this relationship is not fated to end well.” Jaebeom warned the American, who didn’t seem to be intimidated by the editor’s words. On the contrary, he unleashed the impatience he had been holding back since he stepped out of the car.

“Look here, Lim Jaebeom. You’re the one who’s not acting normal. You’re making a storm in a teacup! The truth is, I don’t care if your mommy was your daddy’s punch bag, and I couldn’t care less about the traumas you went through your childhood. Everyone has a past worth forgetting. I really don’t care if you’re the product of a broken home. Do therapy, take some goddam pills, and get over it. You’re not Jinyoung’s parole officer, nor his priest or his my guardian. Don’t confuse me with your helpless mother, and don’t think he’s in the same league of your fucked up father. We’re getting out of here now and there’s nothing you can do to avoid that.” Mark ended his tirade and pulled an agape Jinyoung towards the car. The author noticed the hurtful expression on his friend’s face, but he said nothing as he got into the car with his boyfriend. Jaebeom didn’t try to stop them from leaving, he just stood there on the driveway without moving. When Mark urged Jinyoung to drive, he just did it.

“You shouldn’t have said those things. JB was probably bothered by the fact that I told you about parents. You were too harsh. I should go back there and check on him.” Jinyoung said, while waiting at a red light. He was tempted to turn the car around right there and make sure his friend was all right.

“Don’t bother. Tomorrow is Nora’s birthday. You’ll have a chance to talk to him and I’ll be able to apologize for my rudeness. Let’s just go back to the apartment for now.” Mark advised him.

“If he call the cops, I won’t be able to maintain my sterling reputation anymore… You know what? Before we find ourselves caught in the middle of a scandal, one that will certainly ruin my career and make it impossible for me to clear my name, we should at least go on our first date. After all, that was our intention before JB showed up.” Jinyoung commented bitterly.

“He won’t call the cops on you. I could tell he was bluffing. Jaebeom is actually worried about you, not me. Your best friend wouldn’t destroy a career he helped to build, he’s clearly not that type of person. Rest assured. When you wake up tomorrow you’ll still be the prestigious bestselling Korean author Park Jinyoung, and my beloved prince.” Mark said as he gave his boyfriend’s thigh a gentle squeeze and smiled a bit. “Now, where are you taking me, Nyoungie?”

“You’ll see.” Jinyoung winked at him and kept driving.

A couple of hours later Mark and Jinyoung were aboard the Eland Han River Cruise. The views and breeze were fabulous. The American couldn’t help but praise his boyfriend for choosing such a majestic place for their first date. The dock was nicely decorated and there were heart-shaped ornaments all over it, perfect for romantic photo backgrounds. If Jinyoung weren’t so shy, the American would have taken some lovely selfies with the younger. He never expected that he and Jinyoung would be sailing along the famous Han River aboard such an elegant boat one day after that nasty argument at the apartment. That luxury cruise gave them time to relax and talk about their plans for the future. They also had a chance to enjoy an opulent buffet while listening to an incredible skilled jazz band. From the boat, Mark could see Seoul’s top attractions, and the mesmerizing view of the city enchanted him. That was the country he had chosen to restart, and he couldn’t be more certain of his decision.

Jinyoung was excited to see Mark with a smile plastered on his face. He lifted up his head for a moment and looked up at the Seoul sky. It was clear and still. That tranquil appearance soothed his mind, the smell of fresh air filled his lungs, and the sound of the waves seemed to breathe new life into him. He knew they needed a quiet time like that, and he was glad to see that his boyfriend was having fun on the boat. He truly hoped they had many more dates even more unforgettable in the future, and that the weather kept smiling at them with kindness.

There was a small cafe serving drinks and snacks nonstop on board and when seagulls started flying over the cruise, the Korean watched a delighted Mark feed a couple of snacks to the large birds on the deck. It was a breath-taking sight to see. He turned off all the sounds around him and emptied his head completely. Only his eyes functioned, and he could only place them on that man. His gaze focused on the American and no one else. It was like everything disappeared around him, everything but Mark. The exquisite view of the banks of Han River laid before the writer, the band was playing superbly, some talented dancers were also performing, but witnessing the American in such a unique moment was what made his heart burst with joy. Jinyoung couldn’t help but think that the seagulls and Mark had a few things in common. Some birds had grey, brown and white feathers, with black markings on their heads and wings. They seemed wild and unapproachable, but also guileless enough to drop down from the sapphire sky to eat a snack from the hands of a human. Oh, his beloved Mark had so many layers, his plumage was made of dark shards and they could capture different tones of light whenever he allowed himself to shine. Sometimes he could be ruthlessly feral, and other times he could be unbelievably sweet. Jinyoung remembered that once he had read something about gulls being very adaptable animals, which could survive storms, harsh winds, and extreme temperatures. They thrived, no matter the weather. Mark also had gone through a great amount of turbulence in his life, he had seen and done things that undoubtedly weighted on his mind. The Korean could see that his boyfriend was slowly getting used to his new environment, even though he didn’t leave his previous habitat unscathed. Jinyoung just hoped that Mark could have a weightless life someday, one that could make him believe he could soar to the sky without looking back down. He wished the man he loved could fly as beautifully as those elegant birds with their long, steady wings, at times vibrant, and quite lively. He yearned to ride the wind with him, and bask in the warmth of the sun in all its glory infinitely.


	33. Domestic Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It hurts to love. It’s like giving yourself to be flayed and knowing that at any moment the other person may just walk off with your skin." ~ Susan Sontag

“Hey, why do I feel I was the only one who enjoyed yesterday’s date? You were too quiet.” Mark commented casually, as he took a seat beside his boyfriend at the kitchen table. It was a rare kind of morning. Bambam and Yugyeom were up early, and the four of them were having breakfast together. Usually the pair of youngsters would sleep until noon, and once they left their room, they would go out to eat, and spend most of their time out of the apartment. They would return the next day, early in the morning just to disappear into their bedroom again. That was the daily routine of the spirited twosome. Mark and Jinyoung wondered what made them join the world of the living at 9 AM on a Saturday, but although they were being too loud, it was refreshing to have such an energetic pair around. Bambam and Yugyeom were as talkative as always, and when they heard that the silly prank of previous day, led to a reconciliation plus a romantic date, they wanted to know everything about it. However, most of the time, Mark and Jinyoung seemed to be lost in their own world. The intense glances, the not so casual touches, the hidden smiles, and the intimate whispering, were signs, which showed that their relationship had improved significantly and its 1% chance of success had definitely increased.

“I was having the time of my life just watching you. You were just unaware of it. Gazing at you is my favourite pastime.” Jinyoung beamed at him as he remembered how he did his best to control the urge to take the American in his arms when they were aboard that boat. He kept reminding himself they weren’t in America, and the PDA had to be avoided at all costs.

“Hyung, whenever you say stuff like that, it grosses me out, seriously.” Yugyeom complained, as he put his hands in both his ears. Mark looked pleased to hear his boyfriend’s response and gently rubbed his forehead against his.

“I like it.” The American confessed, and laid his head on Jinyoung’s shoulder.

“Don’t make that face Gyeom-ah! You and Bam already finish each other’s sentences, and no one gets your inside jokes. You guys come up with nicknames for each other that aren't even pet names, but random gibberish. When you both happen to be home, I see you chase each other around the apartment like two little rascals. I’ve witnessed you get in tickle fights on the couch, wrestle on the floor of the living room, do weird, bad dancing in front of each other while pulling very ugly faces at each other, and make up strange languages, like a mix of English, Korean and Thai. Plus, whenever you guys are in your bedroom I swear I overhear you communicate through non-human noises. It’s like you guys know each other for decades. Every couple has their weird dating style, you have no right to complain about the way Markie and I act lovey-dovey towards each other.” Jinyoung pointed out, as he crossed his arms and gave his cousin a challenging look. The latter simply stick his tongue at him. The writer chuckled.

“YG and I might be weird, I give you that. But, come on guys, a cruise? That’s too boring for a first date.” Bambam commented, after Yugyeom fed him a spoon of rice. “Anything interesting happened there, or you guys just kept staring at the horizon?” The Thai added in a mocking tone. Mark rolled his eyes at his friend and lifted his head from Jinyoung’s shoulder to face the author.

“I loved staring at the horizon with my boyfriend.” The American said tenderly, as he reached for Jinyoung’s hand and intertwined his fingers with the writer’s. “The food was pretty good, the band was amazing, and I also interacted with some gulls.” Mark smiled as he reminded the events of his first date with the Korean.

“Mark, man, you’re definitely in love. Everywhere he takes you, it’s paradise. As blind as you are, even hell would look like the Garden of Eden in your eyes.” Bambam teased, but he was satisfied to see his best friend so changed. The American glowed beside the author. Happiness looked good on him.

“Maybe…I just thought it was a bit weird the way a lady on the crew kept staring at my boyfriend. Should I be worried?” Mark asked, as he raised an eyebrow at Jinyoung.

"She was probably a fan of my mine. She must’ve seen me at a book signing event, and since then she can't get my face out of her head. I can only assume she's one of those fans who are unable to sleep without the signed copy of my very first novel beside her pillow. She has probably taken many secret pictures of me with her cell phone without my knowledge, and posted them all over her social media. She certainly spent hours bragging to her friends, who probably never read a single paragraph of my works, about how she was able to meet the great Park Jinyoung in the flesh. Actually, the very moment she saw me on the boat, she tried to decide whether or not she should follow me back to my apartment, once the cruise was over. She couldn't help but consider kidnapping me in the name of love. The thought of breaking both my ankles, just to lock me up in a soundproof room with a notebook, entices her. After all, she's my number one fan, and she's impatient. She can't cope with my endless hiatus, and she'll do whatever it takes to force me to write another bestseller, whether my writer's block is gone or not. She'll get her book in a way or another." Jinyoung concluded solemnly, as the others eyed him weirdly.

"What the fuck! You're kidding, right?" Bambam looked spooked.

“Haven’t you heard of sasaeng fans? They’re all over Korea.” The author replied in a serious tone.

“Your readers stalk you?” The American asked with worry plastered all over his face, and then the writer burst into a fit of laughter. Yugyeom, who was sitting across from his cousin, shook his head disapprovingly and threw a piece of bread at him.

"Of course not babe. I’m joking." Jinyoung grinned, making sure the foreigner realized that he was joking. “It’s not like I am an idol or something. My books are notable, not my face, thankfully.”

"My God, do you really have to turn a simple answer into a movie script?" Yugyeom clicked his tongue and gave him a knowing look, as if he had heard his cousin’s ludicrous fictional stories that more than once.

"Chill, kid. Where’s your sense of humor? Besides, it's not a movie script. I was inspired by the plot of a famous novel to be more precise. And the story it's not mine. What I've just narrated to you is loosely based on a piece from the 80's. You should read more Gyeom-ah!" The Korean smirked and his cousin, who just dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand.

“So, after the cruise with this creepy crew was over, did you guys go somewhere else?” Bambam sounded curious, as he furrowed his eyebrows at the couple. “Maybe a love hotel?”

“No. We were tired, so we came home.” Mark replied simply. “I was dying to kiss Jin during the cruise, but we were in public, so… I really wished we could have taken a picture of us kissing on the deck though.” The American pouted and sighed. “Damn, a single kiss in front of the crew would certainly make that date perfect. I could even picture their Korean shocked faces.”

“Sorry, babe. Next time I’ll take you somewhere we can just be ourselves and you can kiss me as much as you want.” The writer assured the American and gave him a peck on the lips. Mark nodded and ruffled his hair.

“Don’t worry, I loved our date. It’s your country, let’s follow the cultural rules, no PDA. Besides, I can always kiss you as much as I want indoors.” The older added with a smile and kissed his cheek. Jinyoung stared at him fondly, losing himself in those cinnamon eyes.

“What kind of date has no kiss included and no hot sex afterwards?” The Thai was flabbergasted.

“What makes you think that there was no hot sex afterwards? We could still do that in the privacy of our own bedroom.” Mark said cheekily. “If you guys were home, you would have heard how loud we were, and the way Jin-”

“Okay! Too much information!” Yugyeom cut him off quickly and exhaled. The others laughed at him.

“I actually wanna hear all about it!” An excited Bambam teased, knowing that his boyfriend wasn’t really interest in listening to what his cousin and Mark were doing behind closed doors. He thought it was hilarious the fact that Yugyeom had already caught Jinyoung blowing Mark, yet, he looked quite annoyed to listen to Mark narrate their steamy moments.

“No you don’t.” Yugyeom gave him a reproving look and then he turned to his cousin. “Hyung, you do know that there are specific places which gay couples can still have a good time in our city. You should have taken Mark hyung to Jongno or Itaewon. Bam and I have been exploring Seoul’s Homo Hill for quite a while. The clubs and bars there are awesome, the scenery is pretty wild. No one would mind seeing two guys kissing.” Yugyeom suggested, while his boyfriend fed him a piece of omelette. The author couldn’t help but think that watching YugBam feed each other during breakfast was quite amusing.

“Oh, I went to those a couple of times. All those blind dates Jae arranged for me took place in Itaewon. Though is quite gay-friendly, that neighbourhood is not really my kind of scene. I wanted to take Mark somewhere different, without much disturbance.” Jinyoung said and took a sip of his coffee.

“I get what you mean. Mark was a bartender at 777 Ways, disturbance was part of his routine. You want to introduce your lover to soberer settings. A cruise was certainly a new experience for him, and believe me, he wouldn’t do this kind of activity if he weren’t with someone he really loves. I bet my friend here could really benefit from more idyllic dates on a boat. I can barely recognize my dear LA gangster roommate. You’re getting soft, MT. And that’s not a bad thing.” Bambam winked at Mark and gave the writer the thumbs up. “When is the wedding date, by the way?” he added playfully, and Yugyeom chuckled by his side. A shy Mark made a face at him.

“Whatever date he chooses is fine for me. I’m totally cool with it. I would marry him right now if he would have me.” Jinyoung replied boldly, and circled Mark’s waist with one hand. The whole table gasped. Mark couldn’t help but blush and look away. He kept his head low as he slowly chewed on his kimchi. After a few seconds of shocked silence, the author’s cousin protested.

“Aish, hyung! You really didn’t say that! That’s so not fair! You’re not allowed to marry Mark before I marry Bam! I met them first!” Yugyeom quipped, making his boyfriend giggle.

“Don’t stress yourself over such a small thing. I’m sure we can find some common ground here. What about a double wedding? Will you be okay with that, Gyeomie?” Jinyoung suggested playfully, wondering what was going through Mark’s mind at that moment. Bambam laughed harder, and Mark finally cleared his throat, just to change the subject.

“What made you two lovebirds get up so early?” The American inquired the hilarious couple.

“We’re helping Jae with the decoration of Nora’s birthday party. He says JB took their eldest and the other cats to a pet groomer, so he was left all alone to prepare everything.” Yugyeom replied.

“Decoration? For a cat’s party?” The American scoffed.

“It’s really serious business, Mark!” Bambam said and eyed the clock on the wall of the kitchen entrance. “As a matter of fact, we’ve gotta get going, Yug.”

“Okay. We shouldn’t be late, otherwise Jae hyung will nag at me the whole day.” Yugyeom announced as he and his boyfriend got up from their seats. “We’ll see you guys there, right?”

“Of course! I cannot miss JB’s traditional Korean barbecue. I also promised to introduce him to some American drinking games.” Mark replied with a grin.

“You did? Damn, I’m looking forward to it.” Bambam eyed his best friend mischievously, and took his boyfriend by the hand. “Go easy on them, Mr. Bartender. I’m not sure their Korean minds are ready for it. See you guys later!” The Thai boy added and walked out of the kitchen with Yugyeom by his side. As soon as the youngsters left through the front door, Mark jumped on Jinyoung’s lap. The author instantaneously wrapped his arms around him, he was quickly getting used to his boyfriend’s lovely new habits.

"No police knocked on our door this morning. That means JB learned his place. And since he decided not to be an asshole, we should praise him for it. Let’s go to this party so you guys can kiss and make up.” Mark quickly shook his head and corrected himself. “Scratch that, I meant, just make up, no kissing allowed.” The American saw the author smile at him and nod, but he was unaware of the pang of guilt his boyfriend felt when he thought of Jaebeom. Deep down, the author knew that his friend meant well when he threatened to call the cops on him, and it was only the editor's extreme concern for his career that made him sound so unreasonable the previous day. He hoped his friend tried to change his attitude and acted a bit more receptive at the party later.

“I bought something nice for Nora, a stylish and outrageously expensive catwheel so she can work off the extra calories.” Jinyoung said with a grin. “That might please her daddy a little bit.”

“You know what? You should start writing again. I'm sure that would definitely please your editor." Mark suggested as he caressed the Korean’s silky black hair.

"Well writing is a different story. I don't have to think about what pleases my editor, but what could please my fans." The writer pointed out. He wondered what Jaebeom would say once he read the drafts he had written for his possible next book. Jinyoung didn't only spend more than a week at Jackson's house reading files, he was also taking notes of them. 

" _The Inhuman life of a former China Doll_ is too much for your readers?" The American asked quietly.

"Do you actually want me to write about that?" Jinyoung asked curiously. He was not afraid to try something new, he could also write under a pseudonym, but he wasn't sure of how his boyfriend would feel when those nightmares became public. Even though his readers would never be able to find out that the main character of the plot was inspired by a real person, who happened to be his American lover, Jinyoung figured that Mark could have some reservations about letting the story of his life be brought to light.

"Of course I do. Some stories need to be told. There's always a lesson to be learned from them. I think your readers would appreciate your versatility. A real writer can translate any kind of message into a plot that fits his desired audience. Use metaphors, allusions, personifications, similes or whatever linguistic device you think it's appropriate. You can omit some names and locations, for the sake of our safety, obviously." Mark suggested.

"I already meant to do that, to respect our privacy. But when you say safety…Do you think this story could get us in trouble?" The author furrowed his brows.

"I don't know. Better safe than sorry, right?" Mark replied in a lower tone, as if he really pondered the younger's question.

"Well, the thing about start writing again is that I'll be quite busy for a while. I usually spend long hours in my office and I refuse to be disturbed. Yugyeom knows that very well. I get cranky when I am interrupted and extremely detached when I am too focused. When the writing is flowing, I tend to ignore my very surroundings for weeks. I don't think I can do that now that I am dating the hottest American bartender alive. It kinda feels like a sin to even think of disconnecting from such a happiness." Jinyoung smiled fondly at him and Mark chuckled.

"Don't worry, I promise I won't feel neglected. Moreover, I will be busy too. After the bar opening, I won't be spending much time in this apartment. You won't be the only one in this relationship who is actually making money. I actually have a bartending career to look after, remember?" Mark declared, as he sweetly rubbed his nose against the Korean’s.

"Dear lord, will we even have time to see each other? I swear that if you start giving more attention to your bar than to me, I'll burn that place down to the ground. I'll make you my private bartender, and you'll be only making cocktails in my kitchen, for me." The Korean said playfully.

"Wow, you sound possessive as fuck. Are you hinting that you might become an arsonist just to make me serve only you? Maybe JB is right about Jia Er and I being a bad influence on you. By the way, what makes you think I would waste my bartending skills in your kitchen? You can't even hold your liquor, darling. Plus you wouldn't be able to afford me. I'm not cheap, Nyoungie." The older winked at him and gave his boyfriend a smug grin.

“Did you take your meds?” The Korean asked out of the blue. Mark inhaled and got off his lap. The Korean looked a bit disappointed by the sudden distance between them.

“Of course I did, Jinyoung. Why are you asking me that?” The American narrowed his eyes at him. The writer could see the change in his demeanour, the question clearly upset him.

“What do you mean? Can’t I ask you such a simple thing? I told you we would look after your treatment together and-“

“Stop! If you want us to start using condoms from now on just say so.” Mark cut him off harshly, crossed his arms and took a few steps away from his chair.

“What? Baby, that’s not what I meant, I’m just-”

“I’ve just mentioned Jackson and you already look at me as if I’m about to die.” The American accused, in an irritated tone.

“What are you talking about? This has nothing to do with Jack. Come on, Mark, we should be able to discuss your treatment without you being like this. I’m your partner and I’m supposed to support you through your journey with HIV. It’s kinda my journey too, after all, we’re together in this. Have you forgotten I’m on PreP?” Jinyoung stood up and went to him, but Mark brushed him away.

“Right! What about you? Have you taken your meds? I’m sure you did. You wouldn’t be sleeping with your dirty infectious lover if you weren’t!” Mark retorted, as he walked past him and marched to the living room, leaving a speechless Korean behind. The latter quickly recomposed himself and followed the unreasonable American who was about to climb the stairs to their bedroom. Jinyoung felt the urge to grab him by the arm and make the older listen to him, but he reminded himself of what happened last time they argued when things got physical, so he kept his hands to himself and opted to raise his voice in order to keep his boyfriend from walking away from him.

“You’re not dirty! Where is that coming from? My God, Mark, that’s not fair! I never showed any kind of prejudice towards your condition. I love you and I just want to help you. There’s no reason for you to get so worked up.” The writer didn’t shout, but the tone of his voice was enough to make Mark stop midway on the stairs and turn to him.

“I don’t need your fucking help nor your pity, Jinyoung! I’ve been looking after myself for years without you, I guess I’m still perfectly able to manage this on my own.” The American spat.

“But you’re not on your own! You have me now, and I am part of your life. I didn’t mean to offend you, or sound like I’m pitying you. I know you’re a tough guy, and that you’ve learned how to deal with this. But it’s still HIV, Mark. I’m sure you get scared whenever you feel a bit under the weather, and you think that your viral load might have increased. You wouldn’t be checking its progress every three to six months if you believed that it wasn’t necessary. There’s no cure for this virus, and although it can be controlled, it will remain with you for the rest of your life.” The writer exhaled and continued. “Look, I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide your fears from me in order to pretend that you’re perfectly healthy. We are a couple and we must find a way to have a more open conversation about this. That’s how strong relationships are built, with trust and understanding.” Jinyoung felt relieved when he watched Mark’s rage slowly dissolve. He gave his boyfriend an encouraging smile as soon as he came down the stairs and nodded to him.

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you…It’s just…”

“Tell, me. I’m here for you.” The Korean reached for his hand carefully, and Mark allowed that soothing contact.

“Bam doesn’t know. He has seen me take the pills, but I told him they’re vitamins. So, just don’t ask anything like that when he’s around.” The American said in a small voice.

“He’s not around babe, it’s just you and me here.” Jinyoung whispered to him.

“I know, I’m just saying. Be careful.” Mark sighed deeply.

“I will. Now tell me what’s really worrying you.” Jinyoung pressed cautiously, as he lifted up one of his hands to stroke the side of his face.

“Everything was perfect, and then in a fleeting second you reminded me I’m not perfect.” The American chewed on his lips and avoided his eyes. The Korean shook his head at him, and took a deep breath.

“No one is perfect, Mark, I’m not either. Everyone is a beautiful wreck in their own way. What makes you imperfect is not the fact that you’re HIV positive, it’s the fact that you’re only human. I’m made of the same flawed, damaged essence you are made, and that’s what connect us. The imperfect me loves the imperfect you, and that should be enough for us to deserve each other. I’m not better than you, and you’re no better than me. We are fragile beings mirrored by each other’s deformity.” Jinyoung declared and Mark swallowed. He just stared at the Korean for a moment, without being able to formulate a response for those words. They moved him. They sounded so right coming from the author’s lips that for a moment he thought that perfection was really reachable.

“Listen, I know I overreacted. I swear I’m not one to dwell on self-pity, but, what if Jia Er tells Bam? What if he tells all your friends?” Mark insisted, wondering what would be the Chinese’s next move.

“We’ll deal with it. We’ll stick together and handle the situation the best way we can.” An assertive Jinyoung assured him. The older nodded and chewed on his lips.

“You’re changed. You don’t look like that confused, and conflicted foreigner who pulled a gun at me at a hotel in LA.” The American uttered, as realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

“What can I say? You’re a good influence on me. I’m stronger because I have you by my side. I can see things clearer than before. We’re on the same page, we want the same thing, for us to never part. I know who you are now, and you know who I am.” Jinyoung said confidently.

“Really? Am I not a bloodsucker who bleeds you dry anymore?” Mark cocked his head to the side and a bittersweet smiled played on his lips as he remembered how dramatically were the days he spend with Jinyoung in America. They did start on the wrong foot, and he was unable to point out exactly when things started to work out between them. Back then, he would have never imagined they would end up in a relationship.

“No. You are my sun, You make my days warm and bright. Whenever I look at you, I remember why life is worth living. Imagining my own existence without your presence is impossible now. I love you to the moon and back.” Jinyoung confessed, beaming at him. He pulled his boyfriend closer and nuzzled his neck. He felt the older relax against him as they wrapped their arms around each other.

_“_ I don’t know how to use words as if I’m reciting a poem, but, I love you too. Let’s grow old and wrinkly together, okay?” Mark whispered to the younger, and as soon as the words left his mouth, Jinyoung fixed his eyes in his.

_“_ Hey, is that a proposal? You know I already said yes in the kitchen earlier. Ready when you are. _”_ Jinyoung gave him an expectant look.

_“_ After you take me out on 777 dates, I might consider proposing to you. You’re gonna have to work your ass off to get me on an altar, Nyoungie. I’m not going easy on you, Mr. Bestselling writer. _”_ Mark jested, as he squeezed the younger’s firm butt.

“Challenge accepted.” The author said, more serious than the older expected to and kissed his lips, as if they had sealed a contract.

“We should get ready for Nora’s party.” Mark said a bit disconcerted by his boyfriend’s powerfully heavy gaze.

“Let’s go.”


	34. Park Bo Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up." ~ Neil Gaiman

“Look who’s here! Missed me, little bro?” The woman’s presence surprised the couple at Jaebeom’s door. They expected that Nora’s parents opened the door for them, but someone else did. While Mark just looked a bit lost as a bunch of Korean sentences left the stranger’s mouth, Jinyoung clearly didn’t seem pleased to see that person there.

“Noona, I didn’t know you’re in Seoul.” The author’s Korean flew naturally, yet his tone was definitely sour. His boyfriend couldn’t help but notice that and the way Jinyoung hesitated to get inside the house.

“Well, now you do. Honestly, it wouldn’t hurt if you contacted me more often, don’t you think? If it weren’t for Jackson I would never know that you were back from the U.S. The others are at the backyard, they’ve been waiting for you.” She said animatedly, and turned to the foreigner beside her dongsaeng. “You must be the new assistant Mark, right? You’re more good-looking than I thought. Nice to meet you, I’m Park Boyoung. Jinyoungie’s big sister.” She turned to Mark and smiled. The foreigner remained silent, but smiled back, though he had no idea what she had just said. He glanced at Jinyoung for help, but the author didn’t even bother to translate what she said.

“He can’t speak Korean. Noona, what are you doing here? When did you see Jackson?” Jinyoung pressed impatiently, as he walked past her and entered the house. Mark followed him.

“Who’s she?” Mark asked puzzled, as they reached the living room.

“My older sister.” The younger replied shortly, as he ran a hand though his hair nervously. Mark eyes widened, then he furrowed his brows. Neither Jinyoung nor Soo Young had ever mentioned another sister to him. He wasn’t sure if he had heard the author right, and when he was about to question his boyfriend, Bo young spoke again.

“Hey, there! Be polite and introduce me to your handsome assistant. You know I cannot speak a single word in English.” She complained at her brother. As if Mark could read her mind, he took the initiative, and although he had no idea how to utter a basic Korean greeting, he approached Boyoung.

“Mark Tuan.” The American said simply, as he offered his hand for a handshake even before Jinyoung said anything.

“Bo young.” She replied cordially, as they shook hands.

“Oh, I see you guys have met each other.” Jackson suddenly appeared at the living room and the trio turned to him. He spoke in Mandarin, so Boyoung and Jinyoung were unable to understand what he was saying. He gave the American a dirty look and continued. “How does it feel, Mark? To meet another family member of the woman you ruined?”

“We both ruined her. And then she ruined herself along with her baby, who also happened to be yours, by the way. If you had any doubt about that, I’ve just clarified it to you.” Mark retorted mercilessly in the same language. Jackson stopped dead in his tracks. A spark of rage burned in the Chinese’s eyes, his face hardened and he balled his fists, but then he glanced at a speechless Jinyoung and kept his feelings in check. He told himself to dismiss that information. He had to. He scoffed while he reminded himself that Mark’s time to suffer was just beginning. He believed that the author was doing a marvellous job so far, so he had to be patient, and trust his dongsaeng. After all, he thought they both had the same goal.

“I’ve heard from our Jae that you guys had a fight.” Jackson’s eyes travelled from the Korean to the American. “So you finally told your boyfriend, huh? I guess knowing that you’re a walking disease wasn’t enough to keep my dear friend away from you. You must be feeling quite proud of yourself. Lucky you, Yi-en. But don’t get too comfortable, that was just the beginning of a series of troubles coming your away.” Jackson added, still in Mandarin as he glared at the American. He would often get the urge of strangling Mark whenever he was around him, but he dismissed that feeling at the moment. He figured that the more Mark thought he was winning now, the more he would hurt later. Everything was going according to plan. Jackson took consolation in the fact that Mark would be crushed when he found out about Jinyoung’s real intentions. However, he himself was the one still unaware of the writer’s real intentions.

“Really? I still don’t feel like begging you to kill me. You promised me you’d make my life unbearable. I wonder how far you’re willing to play this game. I just want to let you know that whatever ace you have up your sleeve, I’ll be ready to play the hand I’m dealt. You couldn’t keep your own fiancée away from me. What makes you think you’ll be able to convince Jin to leave me? Do your worst. I dare you.” Mark told him without letting himself be intimidated by Jackson’s menacing words. The Chinese gritted his teeth.

“That’s the kind of snake you want around your friends and family?” Jackson asked the clearly tense author, who was unable to decipher the content of the brief dialogue between the two foreigners. His question to the writer was in Korean, allowing Jinyoung and his sister to at least know that he was already in a foul mood. Soon a frowning Boyoung decided to interfere.

“Jackson, it’s obvious that you’re not happy to see Jin’s assistant and you probably have your reasons, but I’m sure you’ll agree that whatever problem you have with him, this is not the place nor the time to fix it.” She hurried to say, as she approached the Chinese. The latter just ignored her as he walked in Mark’s direction and used Mandarin again.

“What do you think, Yi-en? Is there a place and time to fix the dead?” his gaze challenged the American, who didn’t seem fazed by Jackson’s movements towards him.

“Stop right there. I don’t know what the fuck you’re saying, but it just doesn’t sound nice.” Jinyoung addressed the Chinese firmly in English and placed himself in front of Mark as soon as the other got too close to his boyfriend. “By the way, why the hell did you bring my sister to this party? What are you playing at now?!” The writer added exasperatedly. His sister was unable to understand what Jinyoung asked Jackson, but she could tell that a fight was about to break out.

“Do I need to drag Lim Jaebeom here, boys?” Bo Young asked energetically, unable to deal with the increasing unfriendly atmosphere in the room.

“Am I required here? Bo Young Noona did you call my name?” Jaebeom himself entered the room carrying a cat in his arms. His sharp eyes quickly accessed the situation as soon as he scanned the room. “What exactly is going on here?”

"Everything is just fine, JB hyung. The last guests have arrived. Let’s get this party started." Jackson took a few steps away from the couple and smiled forcedly. "Shall we enjoy the barbecue now?"

"Accompany Bo Young Noona to the backyard first. We'll be right after you." Jaebeom said in a commanding voice. An unwilling Jackson nodded and obediently led Jinyoung's sister out of the room. 

"Jaebeom, look, about yesterday, I'm sor-"

"Shut up and sit down." The editor said authoritatively, almost hissing at the writer. The American beside Jinyoung didn't like his tone and even though they were in Jaebeom's house he wouldn't let anyone talk to his boyfriend like that.

"If you're gonna give him a sermon, you'd better-"

"Please, let me speak, Mark hyung." Jaebeom said in a more respectful tone. He sat down on the couch and put the cat on his lap. 

"All right, we're listening." Jinyoung hurried to say and Mark relented, sitting beside him on the other couch across from the editor. The feline on Jaebeom's lap made an uncomfortable noise and ran away from him as soon as it had a chance. 

"That's the birthday girl. Nora is shy, but with time she grows on you." The editor commented as he glanced at the American.

"I'm sure she does." Mark commented awkwardly as he watched the cat disappear into one of the rooms of the house. His boyfriend seemed a bit anxious to hear what the editor had to say to them while he fidgeted on the couch.

"There's a catwheel in the truck of my car for her. I can go fetch-"

"It can wait, Jin." Jaebeom stated, before his dongsaeng got up from the couch.

"All Right. If this isn't about you trying to keep me from being an abusive boyfriend, what this is about?" The author could feel anticipation eating at him. If Jackson was there in Jaebeom's house, it could be anything. He couldn't help but think that the Chinese might've revealed to his friend something about Mark's past, or worse, about the HIV. He had no idea of how Jaebeom would react to any of that. It somehow made him nervous.

"You told Mark something quite delicate regarding my private life. You're one of the few friends who knows what I went through with my parents, and you are also aware of how sensitive I am about that. As my best friend, I don't think you would disclose such information to just anyone. The fact that you told your boyfriend leads me to assume that he is someone you really trust. He’s obviously more than that. So yeah, I do believe you when you say you're not in cahoots with Jack. I don't think you are just seducing Mark for the sake of a revenge either. Now I really believe you're head over heels for him." The editor said, as he pointed a finger to the American, who just observed the conversation. Although they spoke in English, he didn’t think it was his turn to talk.

"That means you're not mad at me anymore?" The writer looked surprised.

"No. It means that if you already consider him as family I should get used to the idea that he's not going anywhere. I plan to get along with him for real since he's here to stay. I don't wanna be those kind of judgy friends who keeps reminding their buddies why their relationships are not ideal." Jaebeom explained. Jinyoung gave him a thankful look and smiled a little. Now Mark felt that he should say something to seal their reconciliation, so he started apologizing.

"I'm sorry for my rudeness yesterday, I-"

"You're not sorry." Jaebeom cut him off calmly. "You meant every word you said, regardless of its effect on me. You were harsh, but you weren't lying. And that's what's kinda cool about you, your shattering frankness. I've noticed that you're not afraid to say out loud anything that comes to your mind...Perhaps it's an American thing? Koreans tend to be more soft-spoken and conservative, we don't see that kind of spontaneity too often in our midst. On the other hand, it can be hard to make friends around here when you're a westerner, and act like one. In certain situations it's better to keep your mouth shut."

"Thank you for the advice, I guess." Mark wasn't sure if that was a compliment or a warning.

"Okay, since we all understand each other, I'm gonna get the catwheel in the car." A satisfied Jinyoung stated as he got up from the couch. The American was about to follow him but Jaebeom intervened.

"Let him go, hyung. I actually have a couple of questions to ask you." The editor declared, and signalled Mark to stay in the room. The writer wondered what his friend wanted from the American.

"Sure." Mark nodded and told his hesitant boyfriend to go ahead without him. Jinyoung's eyes travelled from his best friend to the American for a lingering second and his body refused to move.

"What are you afraid of? JB and I should be able to remain in a room alone for more than 3 seconds without kissing, don't you think? Just go get Nora's gift already." Mark chuckled as his boyfriend narrowed his eyes at him, shook his head, and quickly walked out of the front door. Jaebeom scoffed.

"He listens to you well." The editor commented pensively as soon as the author was out.

"Of course he does. As a matter of fact, that's not the only thing he does well." The American said smugly. "What's Jia Er doing here by the way?" Mark asked abruptly as he crossed his arms.

"When we're at Team Wang he's my boss. When we're not, he's my friend. Our friend, mine, Jae and Jin's. So you'd better get used to seeing him whenever we get together to celebrate a special event. I’m aware of the whole Soo young thing, and I’m totally against Jack’s crazy revenge. That guy must’ve spent more time thinking about ways to get back at you than actually grieving for her. To be honest, I pity my friend. It hasn’t been easy for him to get past what happened to his fiancée. It’s been years since her death, but for him it’s like it happened yesterday. You do realize it’s more difficult for him to see you in here than the other way around, right? I’m struggling to find a way to help Seunnah, but until I can find a way to reach him, I hope you can be understanding, and try not to provoke him." Jaebeom said the older, who, although didn't seem very happy with his reply, still nodded. 

"Is that the question you had for me? You’re asking me if I can be understanding an non-confrontational when it comes to Jia Er?" Mark snorted. “I can promise you to try, but he will still do whatever he can to get a reaction out of me. The simple fact I’m breathing is an affront to the guy.”

“He won’t dare to do anything against you in my house. Besides, you’re older and wiser, I’m sure you’ll find a way to avoid him during this party.” The editor insisted. Mark sighed in frustration.

“Is that all?”

"There is something else. Last time we were alone in Jin's office and I asked you what was your business here in Korea, your answer didn't sound very convincing. Now I am gonna ask you again, and you'd better put some feeling into it, if you really expect me to leave my best friend in your care." Jaebeom stated and took a deep breath. What's your business here, Mark hyung?" The tone the editor used to ask his question didn't have the same anger as the last time. He seemed inclined to entrust his beloved dongsaeng to the foreigner now. After all, even if he didn't, he knew that there was nothing he could do to keep them apart at that point. 

"I love Jinyoung. He loves me. And I intend to start over with him here in Seoul. I wouldn't mind making some friends along the way, if it's possible." Mark replied putting all the honesty he could muster in his words. He couldn't help but admire the concern the editor had for Jinyoung's happiness. It was annoying, but genuine. At least they wanted the same thing. The author's felicity. Mark imagined that he could get along with that one, if the editor was indeed ready to give him a chance. The American was aware of how important Jaebeom's presence was in his boyfriend's life, so he was willing to stop being so antisocial and warm up to the editor. He could try not to get jealous of the position JB had in Jinyoung's heart, and even make an effort to get used to Jaebeom's nagging. Real friends sometimes were worse than parents, and he knew that well. It was not an uncommon kind of bond. Bambam could get overprotective like that with him too. It was overwhelming sometimes, and other times quite comforting. Having someone to back you up no matter the situation was a great relief, and he wanted Jinyoung to have that.

"Good. Just know that if you hurt him, I'm gonna have to hurt you 10 times more." Jaebeom informed him, and he didn’t sound like he was bluffing.

"I'd rather die than hurt him." Mark stated with such a seriousness that astonished the editor. He couldn't help but believe him. 

"Since he listens to you well, make sure that next time you guys argue no one ends up with bruises. It would make me more comfortable to hear that you won't let him cross the line like he did the last time. No more domestic violence, okay?" The editor raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, don't worry. If it happens again I'll let Bambam deal with him. Jinyoung is not the only one with a best friend, you know." Mark informed him with a grin. Soon a pleasing smile crept to Jaebeom's lips and he stood from the couch with an amicable expression on his face.

"It's settled then. Welcome to the family." Jaebeom said as he approached the older and opened his arms to him. "Americans are huggers, right?" Jaebeom asked, and pulled the reticent foreigner to him without waiting for a reply. Mark hugged him back awkwardly, just to notice that Jinyoung was at the entryway watching them with Nora's gift in his arms. He didn’t know how long his boyfriend was standing there listening to them, but he didn’t care. He meant every word he said, starting over with the writer in Seoul was not an uncertainty anymore.

"Hey! You two stop that shit before I call Jae." The writer said playfully with a smirk. The editor soon disentangled himself from the American and took Nora’s gift from his dongsaeng’s arms.

“Quite thoughtful of you, Jin. But a catwheel…are you calling my Nora fat?” Jaebeom furrowed his brows.

“No! I just want her to remain fit and healthy.” A careful Jinyoung answered quickly.

“All right. Good answer. You are forgiven now.” Jaebeom said enthusiastically and signalled the couple to follow him and join the others outside. However, before they reached the backyard, Jaebeom stopped them halfway, and eyed his friend with urgency. "Yeah, just one last thing. If Jackson still believes that you are with Mark because you're helping him to achieve his senseless revenge, let him think like that for now. We both know that once he finds out you're not on his side, he'll try to find other ways to get what he wants." The editor suggested in a grave tone. Jinyoung nodded and glanced at his boyfriend.

“What did he say to you in Mandarin earlier?” The writer asked the American.

"He basically wants to see me miserable. It doesn’t matter. I'm not afraid of Jia Er." Mark stated firmly.

"Well, let's just follow JB's wise advice for now, okay? We'll figure out what to do once the situation changes." Jinyoung gave the older a pleading look. Mark relented and then nodded at the pair. He was still obviously bitter about the fact that Jackson forced him to tell Jinyoung about the HIV, but he thought that he could play the role of the oblivious boyfriend who was unaware of being the target of a horrific revenge if that made those two less worried about him.

"Great. Let's go find the others now. Mark hyung is about to taste the best BBQ in Korea." A contented Jaebeom announced and led them to his backyard. 

The trio finally joined the others. Youngjae promptly greeted the couple and properly introduced Mark to Jinyoung's sister. The publicist kindly translated a few sentences for the two in order to make them interact. Mark couldn't help but notice that Choi was the perfect host. He instructed Bambam and Yugyeom how to proper grill the meat, while he managed to give attention to all of the other guests celebrating Nora's birthday. The funny part of all that birthday party was that most of the cats hid inside the house while the humans had a good time outdoors. Nora's party seemed like a hilarious excuse to promote a social gathering.

Mark didn't have any difficulty to mingle during the celebration. He knew all of them, and he was getting used to those people who he believed that could become his own friends someday. Except for Jackson, who was probably behaving like a normal person and not a psychotic villain because he knew Jaebeom would kick him out at the first sign of conflict. Bo Young was actually the only surprise guest on that day and although he couldn't understand a single word she said, the American had a good impression of her. He found out that she was married with 2 kids and lived in Busan. Mark made a mental note to ask Jinyoung more about his family later. Only now, he realized that although the Korean knew almost everything about his life, he didn’t know much about his boyfriend’s backgrounds. The author’s Wikipedia page was too brief when it came to his private life.

In Mark’s viewpoint, Bo young looked more mature than Sooyoung and Jinyoung together, and apparently, she had no idea that her baby brother was gay. Mark knew that his boyfriend hadn't come out to his family yet, and he wasn't bothered about that. He figured that, even if Jinyoung got out of the closet, they still wouldn't be able to hold hands or kiss in public, so it really made no difference to him. After all, South Korea’s alarming anti-LGBT sentiment was what kept them from expressing their love freely. He assumed that the real issue was the culture of that country, in which people could lose their jobs and face public humiliation for being gay. Jinyoung had a career and Mark did not intend to jeopardize his boyfriend’s future.

He noticed that the author stayed by his sister's side all the time and didn't interact with him much. He didn't mind his distant behaviour, but he missed his eyes on him. It was hard to be around Jinyoung without unconsciously touching him, and they both knew that. The Korean was being careful since Bo young was there, so Mark decided to respect his lover's space. He stuck with the YugBam couple, made light conversations with the owners of the house, played with a couple of cats that were brave enough to stop by the backyard, and did his best to ignore Jackson's evil stares. He still didn’t know why the Chinese kept Jinyoung’s friends in the dark about his past. He couldn’t help but think that once Jackson divulged the files he had in his possession to the others, shit would definitely hit the fan. But since Jinyoung assured him that they would face whatever life threw at them together, he was able to remain calm.

The meat was being grilled on a charcoal grill. There were several side dishes on the table called banchan, which included kimchi, marinated greens, vegetables, rice, and stir-fried anchovies. It was the first time he tasted bulgogi. It had a unique flavour, and according to the Koreans at the table, the meat was the most traditional ingredient of a Korean BBQ beef dish. The overall food was quite delicious, and soon Mark came to the conclusion that the Korean BBQ definitely tasted healthier and sweeter than the American one. Yet, he still thought that the subtle smoky flavour of his home country different styles of BBQ was insuperable.

Everyone was at the table, laughing and eating delightfully, when Bo Young turned to her brother and started talking about a subject that no one expected her to bring it up.

"So, is the quiet assistant really just an assistant, or maybe something more?" She asked loud and clear, for everyone to hear. Yugyeom was sitting beside Mark and quietly translated to him and Bam what the only lady at the table had inquired. The American and the Thai stayed silent and pretended that they weren’t even there. Mark told himself that it was not his place to answer that question. Bedsides, Bo Young wouldn't even understand him if he managed to come up with an excuse. Bambam kept to himself not to annoy his friend. The others also chose not to interfere and kept enjoying their food uncomfortably. After a few seconds of suspenseful silence, Jinyoung started speaking.

"What do you mean? He's in Korea because he's helping me write my new-"

"You avoided looking at him the whole time. And let's face it, he's not so hard to look at. On the contrary, he's an eye candy." She declared bluntly. Youngjae swallowed. Jaebeom awkwardly asked Bambam to pass him the sauce, Yugyeom coughed exaggeratedly, but kept translating the whole dialogue to Mark and Bambam. He simply whispered some English sentences to them quietly in order not to draw anyone’s attention to what he was doing. The two best friends just kept their eyes on the food. Jackson was the only one who was not pretending to be paying attention to something else. He was totally focused on the Park sibling’s dialogue. 

"Enough of beating around the bush. What are you implying?" Jinyoung asked disconcertingly.

"Look, you can be honest with me, Jinnie. I mean, most of your friends are gay, I've never seen you going out with a woman, and you're the only one in the family that truly supports our little cousin's lifestyle. It's the 21st century, you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not, at least not for me. I bet that even our parents must've already realized what's up with you." She gave him a knowing look, and still no one else intervened, the others still kept to themselves.

"What's up with me, dear sister?" Jinyoung asked impatiently.

"Are you going to deny that Jack and I are the only straight people at this table?" She gave him a knowing smile.

"Tell me something Nonna, is Jackson perhaps, the one putting strange ideas in your head?" Jinyoung sighed and glanced at his Chinese friend, who seemed eager to see what was going to happen next. Jinyoung never thought it would be a good idea to tell his parents about his sexual orientation, and after Sooyoung’s death, he imagined that that kind of information could make his relationship with them even more troublesome. He wondered what Jackson’s intention was. After cornering Mark at their apartment and forcing the American to come clean about the HIV, what was his next step? Now that they were all at their friends’ house, Jackson expected him to deny his love for Mark in front of everyone because his sister was there? Was his boyfriend hurting because he purposefully ignored him for a few hours? Was that one of the hundred ways the Chinese found to make that revenge even nastier? Last time they saw each other at the Chinese’s house, Jinyoung had promised Jackson to make Mark fall for him and then throw him away. Those disturbing files made him spend several days away from the American. He wasn’t sure about who was lying to him at the time, but he made clear to Jackson that he was on his side, just in case. Jinyoung’s intention to protect Mark drove him to deceive the Chinese, and he intended to keep doing that, especially now that he and Mark had understood each other and were officially dating. While Jackson thought he was acting, he gave himself to the American completely. While Jackson thought he was seducing Mark just to disappoint him later, the writer kept falling more in love with Mark every single day. The Chinese called Jinyoung’s supposed strategy of ‘one-man plan’, and the Korean imagined that Jackson would let him ‘work’ by himself, but obviously he was wrong. It was really bothering Jinyoung the fact that Jackson had never mentioned anything about the interferences he would be doing in his ‘fake’ relationship with Mark. Somehow, it felt like Jackson was toying with him too.

"He doesn't have to. We grew up together, kid. I've seen the way you try not to look at other guys. As a matter of fact I always thought you had a thing for your editor." She paused and glanced at Jaebeom who almost choke on his food. "But when I heard that you were back from the US with a new male acquaintance I was hoping that you would finally introduce me to a boyfriend." She said straightforwardly.

"What if I'm gay? Are you gonna tell our parents, go to the papers, or something?" The author said dryly.

"It's not my business, so no. Just tell them when you're ready. You have all my support. Mom and Dad won’t be mad. He’s cute, they cannot not love him." She chuckled at her brother's tense expression and continued. "By the way, I've heard we're supposed to play some drinking games. Since we have a bartender at the table, I'm more than excited for this part of the party." The woman winked at Mark, who frowned a bit.

"She's talking about the American drinking games, hyung. I told her you're a bartender." Jaebeom smirked. "She probably saw a lot of American movies in which guys drink shots of tequila, then lick the salt of some lady’s belly and suck on the lemon slice in her month." The editor knew Bo Young wasn't going to miss that. She often acted like a single lady, who didn’t act her age and would never turn down a chance to have fun with her dongsaengs. He almost laughed at Jinyoung's tormented expression. Mark wasn't laughing when he turned to the writer.

"Oh, are you okay with that? I was planning to introduce everyone to some fun and kinky drinking games for couples. Things might get a little X-rated, and she's gonna need a partner if she's gonna join us." It was the first time Mark addressed his boyfriend during the party. His voice was somewhat dull. The writer suddenly felt a bit guilty when he finally looked at the American. His gaze automatically turned softer. His eyes definitely longed for Mark, even when they pretended Mark wasn’t there. It was extremely difficult to avoid the older during that party. Jinyoung realized just how much he missed his lover’s voice, even thought it had only been a few hours of no interaction between them. An excruciating unquietness filled his chest the whole time his sister pressed about his sexuality, but now as his eyes met Mark’s, he just felt like saying how much he loved him right there, but instead, Jinyoung made an uncomfortable noise and shrugged.

"It's not like I can stop her. She never listens to me. Let her pair up with one of the cats." Jinyoung replied sarcastically in English and shook his head in frustration.

"Hey guys, I'm still here. I can be her partner. We know each other, it's not gonna be weird. You know me too, I'm a very respectful guy, Jin." Jackson suggested as he eyed the author as if asking for permission. Jinyoung rolled his eyes as a way of saying that he didn't mind it, but he was not happy with it. He wished both his sister and Jackson never showed up at that birthday party to begin with. He just wished to have a comfortable time with his friends and his boyfriend on that occasion, but those two ruined his plans. Jinyoung did have a bad feeling about their presence there. He obviously didn't think that letting Boyoung play with the rest of the group was a good idea, yet, he couldn’t just tell her to leave.

"Noona, are you sure you're ready for that kind of thing?" Youngjae asked her in Korean, and she simply replied an excited ‘dangyunhaji!’ in response. Jinyoung observed with concern as Jackson whispered something in her ear, then she just nodded and high-fived the Chinese beside her.

"Wait, she's really joining the games? It's supposed to be a couple's thing, and she's doing with Wang? I mean, her husband is not around and she's thinking about body shots? Now that's my kind of girl!" Bambam cheered, as he clapped his hands animatedly. A disconcerted Yugyeom gently put a finger on his boyfriend's lips to stop him from talking, as he noticed the death glare Jinyoung was giving him. Yugyeom tried to distract his cousin with his next suggestion.

"So, we have four couples then. YugBam, MarkJin, 2Jae and BoSon. Why don't we start?"


	35. Fun & Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love.” ~ Neil Gaiman

Mark suggested a couple of drinking games that he initially had in mind for the occasion. He didn't make any effort to tone down the racy nature of them, but he warned everyone beforehand that whoever was courageous enough to participate would have to be okay with showing some skin, getting ridiculously drunk, receiving or giving sensual touches and ready to face some spicy dares. Unexpectedly, none of the couples present at Nora's birthday party hesitated to join the games, so Mark started to explain some rules to them and everyone sat next to their respective partners. When Jinyoung moved his chair to his side, he couldn't help but doubt if his boyfriend was indeed willing to pair up with him. He wanted to ask the author if he would be comfortable doing certain things in his sister's presence, but he just focused on telling everyone what the first game was about.

The first game was Flip, Sip or Strip. The only thing necessary to make such a game work was the combination of a coin, shots and the loss of all participants' inhibitions. Bambam and Yugyeom volunteered to be the first couple to play. They wanted to show the others that they were there to win. All Yugyeom had to do was flip a coin, and Bambam had to guess if it landed on head or tails. The pair had 3 chances to get the right answer. If Bambam guessed right, he and Yugyeom would get a point, but if he guessed incorrectly, one of them would have to remove an article of their clothing or take a shot from his partner's body. Bambam failed at his three attempts to guess the right side of the coin, so he took 2 shots from Yugyeom's body and for the last penalty, he decided to strip. Creative as he was, the Thai's body shots consisted in him sprinkling some salt on his boyfriend's neck, licking it, drinking some tequila from his belly button, and taking a lime from his mouth. Yugyeom was ecstatic while he laid on the table and Bambam worked his magic on him, but when Bambam shamelessly removed his own shirt to complete the last punishment, he wasn't too happy. Yugyeom begged his boyfriend to remove his belt instead, but the Thai was determined to show off. Bo Young cheered him on, Mark whistled, the others clapped their hands and laughed out loud as Bambam pretended to catwalk all around the backyard, making hilarious poses and blowing kisses for his imaginary fans. Since Yugyeom was wearing two shirts, he quickly took one of them and dressed Bambam in it after his little show was over. The Thai complained about his lover’s fake prudery, and although he accepted the shirt, he didn't bother to button it.

The 2Jae couple was luckier than the maknaes. Jaebeom flipped the coin and Youngjae guessed it wrong at his first attempt, so the editor took a shot and pulled the publicist for a kiss. He boldly passed the soju in his mouth to Youngjae's. The witnesses were amused by Jaebeom's confidence. The editor bragged about the supposed telepathy powers he shared with the publicist and claimed that all his husband needed was a kiss to help him guess which side the coin would land next. Coincidentally, after a shy Youngjae literally took a shot from his partner's mouth, he did get the right answer. They got one point without having to strip.

The team BoSon seemed to be even more in sync than the previous participants though. Jackson flipped the coin, Bo Young unexpectedly guessed it right at her first try, and they automatically got one point. The pair celebrated, but she declared that she was a bit disappointed by the fact that she wouldn't get a chance to see the Chinese's muscles. Jinyoung scolded her, but she dismissed her little brother’s nagging. YugBam and 2Jae playfully booed them, since they didn't make their turn fun, and easily got the first point without even being a real couple. Mark didn’t cheer nor commented on the pair’s performance, he added their point on a paper silently. He could tell that his boyfriend was relieved to know that he wouldn’t have to witness Jackson and Bo Young taking body shots or stripping in front of them.

When Mark attempted to explain the rule of another game, Yugyeom interrupted him quickly.

"Wait a bit, what about Markjin? I mean, you two are gonna play too right? We cannot let BoSon get the first place!" The maknae complained in English. The American looked lost for a second, since he didn't ask the writer beforehand if he was ready to show that side of his to Bo Young. He just assumed that if they didn’t get the right answer, his boyfriend wouldn’t be comfortable with any of the punishment options. Stripping or taking body shots in front of other people didn’t seem like something Jinyoung would agree to do at that moment. Therefore, he just tried to find an excuse for Jinyoung.

"We're not playing, I don't think your cousin is-"

"Let's not push Jin. After all, Yi-en is just an assistant. He might feel uncomfortable doing this kind of stuff with him." Jackson said sarcastically. Mark dismissed the Chinese’s comment and inhaled.

"I'll just monitor each couple's progress and manage your points." The American announced a bit dispirited, but when the writer finally spoke up, he felt more confident than before.

"What are you talking about, Markie? Of course we're playing! They have no chance against us. We've got this, babe." Jinyoung declared, giving him a reassuring look, and pulling his chair closer to his just to put an arm around his shoulder. Mark couldn't help but let a small smile form on his lips when his boyfriend instructed him to flip the coin. He glanced briefly at Jackson and Bo Young sitting together at the end of the table and chewed on his lips. She didn't look surprised when her brother gave him a kiss on the cheek, or when Jinyoung ruffled his hair. Dozens of questions instantaneously popped up in his head. Was she used to see Jinyoung do that kind of skinship with random hyungs? Had his boyfriend decided to openly confirm his homosexuality to Bo Young? Was the Korean aiming to clarify her suspicions and let her know he was indeed dating him? And if he did, that meant they could act all coupley around her? He couldn’t guess what was going on in the writer’s mind, and he also wondered what Jack and the woman kept whispering to each other.

"Mark, what are you waiting for?! By the way, if you two fail, please make the sip or strip moment interesting, guys!" An animated Bambam encouraged him at the other side of the table.

"I'm actually hoping you guys succeed. Don't let us down. The gays must triumph!" Yugyeom cheered.

"Hwaiting, hyungs." Youngjae also offered his support, and Jaebeom just gave them the thumbs up. On the other hand, Jackson sneered at them and Bo Young just watched them with curiosity.

"Babe, do you want me to flip it?" Jinyoung asked, very close to his ear. Mark could feel his hot breath against the side of his face as the younger lowered his voice and started whispering sensually. "But promise me that if I flip it and it land on tails, you'll let me thoroughly spank your naughty tail tonight." Jinyoung smirked and his boyfriend immediately turned red. The dirty joke was ludicrous, yet, he couldn’t get rid of the steamy mental image that suddenly flashed through his mind at that very moment.

"My goodness, what did you say to him?! Look at his face. Poor kid!" Bo Young giggled. Jackson averted his eyes from the pair. Jaebeom cleared his throat, and Youngjae put a hand on his mouth to hide his chuckles. Bambam looked excited to see that the writer was finally loosening up a bit in front of his sister. He hoped that until the end of that party Jinyoung would directly tell Bo Young about the true nature of his relationship with Mark. The Thai didn’t think that his best friend would be completely happy with the writer if he remained in the closet for too long.

"Believe me, Noona. You don't wanna know." Yugyeom commented, as he shook his head reprovingly. "You should see them when they're at home." 

"Okay! I'm flipping the coin!" Mark said awkwardly aloud and did what he had to do. He flipped the coin, it landed on heads, and unexpectedly, Jinyoung guessed it right at his first try. They hugged and everybody around them clapped their hands. Except for Jackson.

"Since its heads, that means you'll be giving me head tonight?" Mark asked that out loud and while a few gasped and covered their ears, others started laughing. Except for Jackson and his partner. The Chinese obviously didn't enjoy seeing the Markjin couple so comfortable and being cheered on by the others. Bo Young just couldn't understand what the American said. She asked for translators, but the Koreans there refused to reveal the erotic content of Mark's speech to her. The first game results showed that BoSon, 2Jae and MarkJin were tied, while YugBam had 0 points.

The following game was a mix of 'drunken artists' and 'find the X spot'. To win this game, each participant had to draw on a paper something risqué that his or her partner was supposed to guess in 20 seconds. One of the other couples would whisper to the 'artist' what obscenity was supposed to be drawn, and if the artist's partner failed to guess what was the picture drawn on the paper, the artist would have to take a shot. Each couple would have 2 chances to get the answer right, but if they needed one extra chance to get more points, they would have to write on their partner's back a part of his or her body where they would like to be kissed. If his or her partner kissed the right spot, the pair would automatically get 3 points. If the kiss landed on the wrong place, the pair would lose all their points.

After winning a round of rock-paper-scissors the 2Jae couple got the chance to play first. YugBam was selected to suggest the ‘artistic drawing’ that one of them had to depict. Bambam whispered 'balls' in Youngjae's ear and the publicist quickly paled.

"What kind?" Youngjae was a bit uncertain.

"What do you think? Just draw them. Anyways, you know we're not talking about sports here." The Thai winked at him and Yugyeom urged his embarrassed hyung to hurry up and stop asking questions. Youngjae drew the 'balls' quite awkwardly and Jaebeom was unable to guess what the picture meant at first. However, when he saw Yugyeom and Bambam laughing at them, he was sure they suggested his husband to draw something too obscene for his husband liking. Youngjae took one shot of soju when his husband was unable to decipher what was on the paper in 20 seconds. However, JB finally guessed what was the second picture shown to him. Yugyeom whispered "boner" in Youngjae's ear and this time the publicist threw his shame away and depicted a huge erected penis on the paper. Everybody laughed, even the BoSon couple, and finally the 2Jae couple got their point. An utterly abashed Youngjae dismissed the extra points that he and his husband could get by playing 'find the X spot', so they moved on to the next couple.

Jaebeom was determined to make the YugBam couple pay for making his husband struggle with those drawings, so he whispered "frottage" in the maknae's ear. Yugyeom, whose knowledge of foreign words wasn't so broad, passed. Then Jaebeom whispered another word, "anilingus", and Yugyeom passed again. The latter whined at his hyung for giving him such difficult words, so a grinning Jaebeom finally gave him a word he was familiar with, "Eiffel Tower". He made sure that the younger understood that his words had nothing to do with Paris. Yugyeom chuckled and tried his best to draw the "tower" but Bambam said "spit roast" instead, so he technically failed to name the sex position because of a small detail. "Felching" was another word provided by the editor, but when Bambam looked at his boyfriend's drawing, the only words he came up with were "rimming" and "creampie". The YugBam couple ruined all their chances again, so they opted for the 'find the x spot alternative'. They easily got three points when Yugyeom guessed what body part Bambam had drawn on his back. Yugyeom promptly kissed the Thai on his hipbone and made all the other couples cover their eyes, except for Markjin, who were used to that kind of PDA.

When MarkJin's turn came, Jackson was the one who had to whisper something in the author's ears. Jinyoung glared at the Chinese when the word "sex doll" came out of his mouth. Jinyoung passed and demanded another word from him. A cunning Jackson then suggested another one, "bondage". The author hurried to draw some cuffs and ropes on the paper, and to his relief, even before he finished drawing them, the American got the right answer. The latter even announced that the Markjin couple would also play the 'find the x spot' to gather more three points for him and his boyfriend. Jinyoung agreed with him and Mark immediately pulled his shirt up. Thankfully, the bruises on his arms were already fading, but the tattoo on his ribs and the scars he had along his side did catch the attention of some.

"Where did you get these scars? They look old and deep." Jaebeom asked Mark, as Jinyoung started to write on his boyfriend's back. The question made the writer tense, but the American wasn't feeling self-conscious at all.

"Kinbaku." Mark replied casually. "When it's not done by a professional, it marks you forever."

"What is that?" Youngjae sounded curious. 

"Shibari play. A form of Japanese bondage that involves tying up someone's body before suspending it. Google it for more nasty details later." Bambam replied shortly, before the American could give the publicist a response.

“That sounds painfully kinky.” Yugyeom sounded interested in the subject, unlike his cousin, whose imaginative mind already pictured Mark in terrible scenarios of torture, enslavement, and abuse. He had seen those scars several times, and he even got used to the mysterious deforming patterns on his lover’s unblemished skin, but he always feared to hear the story behind them. First, he thought Daniel was responsible for them, then, he thought that maybe the Collector could have done it in order to punish the American somehow. Nevertheless, he never dared to ask his boyfriend that dreadful question directly.

"In certain BDSM circles, people call it art. Those scars are a proof that our American hyung knows how to have some real erotic fun in many different levels. I’m sure he enjoyed every second of it.” Jackson commented crudely, as he glanced at the troubled author. "Jin, you’ve got yourself an experienced boyfriend. Your sex life must’ve improved considerably.” Then he eyed Mark in a taunting tone. “Have you met many kinbakushis, Yi-en?" The malicious way the Chinese eyed the American made one of the owners of the house grunt. Jaebeom narrowed his eyes at Jackson, who clearly goaded Mark into a possible argument. However, the American seemed to be in a peaceful mood.

"A couple." Mark replied calmly, noticing how his boyfriend tensed behind him. Jinyoung wasn't writing anything on his back anymore, he just froze when Jackson suddenly brought up something, which he believed that was unpleasant, from Mark's turbulent past.

"Kinbakushi?" Yugyeom looked confused.

"It means Rope Master. Can we please just continue with the game?" Bambam insisted, turning serious. The Thai wasn’t the only one who thought it would be better to avoid the subject. That sudden topic made Jinyoung feel extremely uneasy, as he wondered if the Japanese rope master who Jackson was referring to was Ito Hara. Once more he felt like an idiot for thinking that he knew every single thing about Mark. Jackson evidently, as always, was Mr know-it-all when it came to the American. That fact bothered the younger to no end.

“Nyoungie, are you done?” Mark asked softly, knowing that that conversation was ruining his boyfriend’s mood. The author hummed behind him and finished writing “eyelids” on the American’s back. When the older turned around and focused on his saddened eyes. He slowly planted one kiss on each of his eyebrows, making the Korean immediately close his eyes. The writer sighed when he felt the soft touch of the older’s lips on his skin. Miraculously, it seemed to alleviate the burden, which threatened to infiltrate in his heart. When he opened his eyes again, and stared lovingly into his boyfriend’s cinnamon orbs, he found the reassurance he needed to ease his conflicting thoughts.

“And that’s a failure! Jackson just told me that the English word on Mark’s back is not the same body part Mark kissed Jin. It said ‘eyelids’, not ‘eyebrows’. You guys automatically lost all your points! Now Markjin is in last place! BoSon rules!” Bo Young announced loudly. By the tone of her voice, all participants could tell that she already had too much alcohol in her system and its effects were slowly becoming obvious. Even before the games started, she had already downed multiple glasses of bokbunja. The author rolled his eyes and wanted to tell her to quit embarrassing herself and go home, but he knew how she could get when she drank, so he resigned himself and stayed quiet. Mark didn’t look disappointed for losing points, he just waved away the other couples’ teasing and patted his boyfriend on the back.

BoSon was leading the game now and it was their turn to play. Jinyoung innocently whispered in his sister’s ear the word “back hug”. It wasn’t an indecent word, but her brother figured that as drunk as she was, Bo Young would be unable to draw anything that made sense on the paper. She had to take two shots, since Jackson was unable to guess the drawings that depicted ‘back hug’ and “eskimo kiss”, but the Chinese took the shots for her, since she already had too much alcohol during the barbecue. The woman insisted that they needed extra points, so they opted for the ‘find the X spot’ alternative. No one was ecstatic as she was when Jackson removed his turtleneck sweater. Bo Young sloppily wrote ‘mouth’ on Jackson’s back and the Chinese ended up landing a chaste kiss on her hand, probably because her brother was watching his every move attentively. He’d rather lose the game than lose the friend. The pair ended up losing all their points too, while 2Jae was leading in the first place and YugBam in the second place.

The blindfolded touch game followed. The participants had to guide their partners hand to a certain part of their body which, they were supposed to guess only using their index finger. The touch had to be fast and precise. If they guessed it right, the coupe would get 2 points and if not, they would have to take 2 shots. After one turn of rock-paper-scissors, the BoSon couple started to play. Jackson blindfolded Bo Young and brought her finger to touch the nape of his neck, she thought it was his forearm, so they both took 2 shots and no points. Jinyoung got even more worried by his sister’s drunk state, but she just waved his concerns away. YugBam seemed to have quite a broad knowledge of each other’s body. When Bambam blindfolded Yugyeom and guided his index finger to his tongue, the maknae quickly guessed which moist muscle the Thai made him touch. The young couple got their 2 points easily, unlikely 2Jae who did not do so well. Jaebeom guided Youngjae’s finger to his ear, but his husband thought it was his navel, so they lost their chances to get points and had to take the shots. The Markjin couple did well when Mark decided to place Jinyoung’s finger on his upper lip, and the Korean guessed it right, earning two points for them.

The Can’t Keep a Straight Face game was tougher than everybody thought. Each participant had to compliment a part of his partner’s body out loud using naughty, dirty talk, while looking directly into his or her partner’s eyes. The pair was not supposed to blink nor display even a flicker of expression on their faces and remain still for 1 minute. If the couple blinked, laughed or showed the slightest bit of emotion like a simple frown or a cringe before the 60 seconds had passed, one of them would have to drink 3 shots, while his or her partner would have to do a dare. If the couple succeeded in keeping a straight face, they would get 5 points.

BoSon initiated this game. Their turn was a complete disaster since Bo Young was unable to keep a straight face at the very beginning of the game. She would burst out laughing just by looking at Jackson’s eyes. The Chinese didn’t have to say or do anything to make her look away and start giggling. Even though everybody advised her to forfeit the game, forget the penalties and take a seat, Bo Young insisted in taking the 3 shots, and no one could stop her from doing so. Since his partner had completed part of the punishment, Jackson was responsible for the dare. Youngjae was the one selected to give him a mission. The publicist was very careful with his choice of dare, since Jackson was his hyung and also his boss. However, he didn’t hold back his creativity. The most irreproachable idea that he came up with had to do with the Chinese’s natural born talents. All his friends knew that Jackson was athletic in many ways, so Youngjae figured that the dare would be funnier if it challenged his physical endurance and also included his ability to rap. It was not a secret that one of Jackson’s hobbies was listening to rap music, and although he never thought of becoming a professional rapper himself, he was able to come up with pretty decent rhythmic rhymes and beats. Finally, Youngjae dared him to compose 7 ‘sexy’ rap lines on the spot for a member of the same gender in the group, while doing 7 push-ups and 7 cartwheels in a row.

“Do you want me to deliver rap lines without running out of breath while doing pushups and cartwheels? That’s a piece of cake, Jae-ah!” Jackson bragged, as he started stretching himself.

“Youngjae, you’ve just given Seunnah a great opportunity to show off.” Jinyoung snorted. Bo Young complained at her brother and his friends for talking in English, so Jinyoung explained to her quickly in Korean the dare her partner had to perform.

“Ooh, it’s clear Jae hyung doesn’t wanna lose his job at Team Wang!” Yugyeom shook his head in disbelief as he looked at Youngjae. “You should’ve at least told him to do an erotic dance while rapping!”

“Oh, I don’t think that would be necessary, Gyeom-ah. If my cats saw such a thing they would be scarred for life.” Jaebeom commented amusedly.

“I think your cats have been sleeping for a while now. To be honest, I never thought that a cat birthday party had almost nothing to do with cats.” Mark chuckled. The editor rolled his eyes at him.

“I’m just sorry for the person Seunnah chooses to ‘serenade’ with his 7 sexy rap lines.” Youngjae declared with a grin.

“Obviously, I’m going for the single ones.” Jackson informed quickly, still stretching his thigh muscles. “YugBam is official, 2Jae is more than official, Bo Young Noona is a woman, so the options I have left are Yi-en and Jin.”

“You are misinformed. They are official too.” Bambam pointed out, as he furrowed his eyes brows at him.

“If they were, everyone here would know. Especially Jinyoung’s sister. When he comes out and say it proudly to Noona’s face, then maybe I’ll acknowledge the legitimacy of their relationship.” Jackson said cynically with a smirk. Jinyoung was about to call him out when the Chinese added. “Should we shift to Korean and give you a chance to come out to Bo Young, Jin? Should we tell her why and who’s responsible for your coming out? I’d love to hear her opinion about it.”

“Jackson, don’t.” It was all Jinyoung managed to say, before he looked away. He was almost sure that Jackson wasn’t only talking about exposing his relationship with Mark. The Korean couldn’t help but think that, as reckless as his Chinese friend was, the man could end up revealing too much to Bo Young, especially Mark’s past with Soo Young. He wouldn’t be surprised if Jackson cancelled his revenge plan right there and started to sputter some truths mixed with untruths shrouded by fallacies in the middle of that party. The others could think the author was just too ashamed to inform his sister that he was gay, but that wasn’t the case. There were several other things at stake.

“Come on, hyung. It’s not like she doesn’t already know. It’s obvious you’re serious about Mark hyung. Noona seemed pretty comfortable watching you two during the previous games. What are you afraid of?” An oblivious Yugyeom encouraged his cousin.

“Maybe later.” Jinyoung said a bit nervous. Youngjae eyed him with sympathy. Jackson sneered, and Jaebeom cleared his throat. The editor understood exactly what the Chinese was doing there.

“Pussy”. Bambam accused, eyeing the writer with displeasure. Jinyoung sighed in frustration.

“Bam, stay out of this.” Mark warned his friend, and the Thai said no more.

“What are you boys talking about?” Bo Young asked, clearly lost as she observed their dialogue in English.

“We’re giving Seunnah ideas to make his performance more entertaining.” Youngjae lied in Korean in order to respect Jinyoung’s privacy.

“Let’s focus on the game, Jackson-ah. When are you going to start doing the cartwheels?” The editor inquired impatiently. The Chinese finally got the hint and got ready to start his dare.

“Get ready to be amazed by my wonderful skills, folks!” Jackson announced and suddenly started doing the cartwheels. His friends could already guess he was going to serenade Jinyoung. Everybody clapped their hands with anticipation, but were surprised when Jackson unexpectedly stopped in front of Mark to rap and to do the pushups. Jinyoung gasped. Jaebeom swallowed. Bo Young, Youngjae and Yugyeom looked anxious to hear the Chinese’s rap. Bambam examined the scene attentively, while the American simply stayed still.

_‘I don’t wanna strip you, spank you or flog you,_

_I know your dozens worshippers have loved you_

_I know a couple of horny bitches who are above you_

_I’d rather skip the shitty revenge and just gore you_

_Your filthy lips must taste like the dicks you blew_

_I’d choke you just to see your dirty skin turns blue_

_I will surely make you pay for the lives you screwed_

_I can’t wait to wear you blood as my brand new tattoo_ ’

A seemingly satisfied Mark clapped his hands as soon as Jackson was done. The whole rap was in Mandarin, so no one but him understood the nasty lines Jackson delivered to him. There was no trace of outrage on the older’s face. His expression gave nothing away. The Chinese eyed him weirdly. He asked himself if the man in front of him had understood everything he had just said. He purposefully added violence and offense in his verses, just to spite Mark, but his efforts to sound revolting didn’t pay off. That definitely wasn’t the reaction he expected to see from the American. Suddenly he felt completely at loss, and somehow defeated. He couldn’t help but wonder what Mark was made of. He doubted if the man felt anything, if he had emotions, or if he even had a conscience. He was not so confident of Jinyoung’s role in that revenge plan anymore. Jackson reminded himself of how vulnerable Mark looked when he told him to tell Jinyoung about the HIV. He remembered how Mark almost begged him to leave them alone. He thought he had seen fear in his eyes. But now he wasn’t so sure of what he saw. _Was Mark faking at that occasion?_ He couldn’t discard the possibility. The Mark he observed now just looked cold, strangely invincible and impenetrable. He always believed the American was a monster, and it was situations like that which made him more convinced of his initial impressions of him. Jackson felt weak and hopeless.

“Wow! I’m completely turned on right now! For those who couldn’t understand what he said, I can assure you that he completed his dare with full marks. He added an extra line at the end of his composition just to make the whole thing more enticing. Seriously, this guy should be making music and selling albums.” The American complimented him with a large smile plastered on his face.

“Hey! That’s not fair, who said the rap had to be in Mandarin?” Yugyeom complained.

“Well, I didn’t establish a rule determining a specific language for his lines.” Youngjae shrugged. “Since Mark said it was okay, I guess we should trust his critical analysis.

“What the fuck did he even say?” Bambam asked curiously.

“How he would’ve stolen me from Jin if he played on our team and stuff like that.” Mark scoffed. Jinyoung said nothing, but later he would definitely ask his lover about the content of that rap.

“Shit, seriously?” Jaebeom was not buying that, but he just played along. He could guess that Jackson’s lines were neither romantic nor sexy, as they were supposed to be.

“Now you guys know how I feel when you all speak in English and forget I’m even here.” Bo Young commented casually, as Jackson returned to his side and hurried the next couple to take their turn.

The YugBam team was next, and they proudly got their five points without having to try so hard. Bambam complimented his boyfriend’s feet. He shamelessly told Yugyeom how he enjoyed giving him foot massages, how he got turned on by sniffing, nibbling, licking, tickling, and sucking his toes, while masturbating himself on his right foot. He also went into details about how Yugyeom’s footjobs were amazing. The maknae didn’t even blink while he listened to his partner’s dirty talk. Bambam also succeeded to remain unfazed when Yugyeom complimented his long skinny legs and how he loved to squeeze them whenever he was on top of him. He went to into details about how he loved to feel their lightweight on his shoulder while he nailed him to the bed. The other participants were agape, as they felt like they were listening to some sort of porno Podcast. After their one minute was over, the others praised the young couple for their power of concentration and extreme lack of shame. Since YugBam didn’t have to take shots nor do a dare as punishment, it was time for 2Jae’s turn. The married couple seemed to have a private conversation for a couple of seconds while the others just observed them whispering to each other. As soon as the brief chat was over, the husbands admitted defeat.

“My dearest husband just told me that I’m not allowed to talk dirty to him nor compliment any part of his body out of the walls of our bedroom, so we’ll go ahead with the punishments. We’ve just discussed how this is gonna go. I’m taking the alcohol and Jae will do a dare.” Jaebeom stated.

“Nah, that’s too easy. Since you guys won’t even try to win this game, both of you should do a dare and drink the shots together.” Mark suggested and the others approved his suggestion. Jaebeom rolled his eyes at the American, but his husband was ready to fulfil whatever mission they gave him. The publicist thought that anything was better than exposing their sex life in front of everyone.

“Who’s wants to see JB do some aegyo raise your hand!” Jinyoung couldn’t miss the chance to embarrass his best friend, whose angry chin was already in full display. Everybody raised their hands excitedly, and Yugyeom even attempted to make that dare even more daring.

“I’ve got an idea! Both hyungs should do a cute and sexy dance for 60 seconds after shoving seven ice cubes inside their pants.”

“Raise your hands if you all agree with Gyeom’s awesome idea.” Jackson announced and everybody raised their hands. Even Bo Young who was too drunk to even ask what was going on again, raised her hand because all the others did.

“My Gosh, guys. You are all evil.” Youngjae commented, knowing how his husband hated to do cringey poses and expressions. But he still went into the house to get the ice cubes. 2Jae did what they were told to do. They danced awkwardly around the backyard, trying to bear with the coolness inside their pants. JB’s cute movements were the most praised, while Youngjae’s forced sexy poses made everyone laugh. The editor even included some bboying at the end of their performance and then ran into the house to change his pants. Youngjae screamed with embarrassment and followed his husband to the bathroom. Their audience cheered on them. The couple didn’t even play the game, but they certainly made their dare priceless. The group was quite satisfied with the pair’s commitment to complete that penalty. Everybody was in good spirits after their ‘cool’ sexy/cute dance.

Then MarkJin’s turn came. The couple took a second or two to get in their positions and finally fix their eyes on each other. Jinyoung knew that whatever he said right there would definitely lead his sister to never doubt that he and Mark were an item, but at that point, he just didn’t care anymore. He was going to speak in English, and he wasn’t sure if the others would dare to translate to her the dirty words that were going to come out of his mouth. Actually, she was so drunk that he didn’t think that she would remember half of that party the next day, so he just went for it. He took a deep breath and when the maknaes started the countdown, he and Mark finally stayed still.

“Your neck is one of the sexiest parts of your body. It makes me want to leave a hickey on it every time you’re too close.” The Korean paused, but kept his face still when he added. “But it looks even better when I put a pearl necklace on it.” The writer struggled not to display any shame saying those words. The others giggled, obviously amused by his boldness, but they kept a close look on the couple’s expression, in order to judge their level of impassivity. Jackson and Bo Young just silently watched them. Bo Young was completely oblivious to what her brother was saying, but she didn’t miss the intensity of their gazes. The American didn’t even flinch when his boyfriend’s words reached his ears, and he also hoped that Jinyoung would be able to keep a straight face when he opened his mouth.

“Your butt is definitely the plumpest and juiciest thing I’ve touched and tasted. I can’t keep my tongue out of your fuckable peach whenever we’re in bed.” Mark said shamelessly and Jinyoung couldn’t help but put a hand on his mouth and turn away from him. The other couples cheered, except for BoSon. The 60 seconds weren’t over yet, so that meant failure. One of them had to do a dare and the other had to take 3 shots of tequila. Jinyoung wasn’t sure if he could handle more alcohol so he told Mark to take the shots while he would perform the dare his friends chose for him. As expected, many indecorous suggestions came up, and since Jinyoung was the one performing the dare, he could at least choose the person who would decide his penalty. As expected, he selected Bo Young to give him a dare. Everybody believed that she would go easy on her brother, but her suggestion made all the participants uneasy.

“I dare Jinyoungie to French kiss Jaebeomie for 60 seconds.” She said as recklessly loud as she could. Jackson almost patted her in the back. He found that dare extremely interesting for obvious reasons. Silence fell for a long second **.**


	36. Wave of Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Today it is bad, and day by day it will get worse – until at last the worst of all arrives." Arthur Schopenhauer

“Wow, that’s gonna be a real challenge. Especially because someone might enjoy this dare too much. We are about to know if the old flame is still burning.” Yugyeom joked, trying to dissolve the tension between the two specific couples. Bambam curiously asked his boyfriend what Bo Young had said and neither the Thai nor Mark seemed to like what they heard when the maknae revealed the content of her sentence.

“Bo Young Noona, I think you had too many shots.” Youngjae was the first to reject her suggestion. “Think of something else, please.” He added, in a disconcerted tone. Everybody could tell that if depended on him, that dare would never take place in his house, or in any other place, ever.

“Yeah, please do. It will be like kissing my little brother. It’s kinda disgusting. How would you feel if you had to lock lips with your own dongsaeng, Nonna? This dare is a bit extreme, isn’t it?” Jaebeom declared, clearly bothered by that possibility. His husband was there, and so was Mark. The editor could already feel the American’s expression go sour. Jinyoung remained speechless, but he would certainly be cursing at his sister, if he wasn’t the polite, tolerant and restrained kind of dongsaeng. The writer didn’t want to get on Youngjae’s bad side, he didn’t want to give Mark a reason to be jealous either, and he certainly didn’t want his friendship with Jaebeom to become awkward. Everybody there knew that he had a thing for the editor in the past, including the editor himself. That dare was not just inconvenient, it was evil. Yugyeom’s comment didn’t help the situation.

“Come on guys. A dare is a dare. It’s not supposed to be pleasant, otherwise it wouldn’t be a dare. Jae and Mark know it’s just a harmless game.” Jackson’s grin was large as he continued. “There’s no reason for them to think too much about it. I’m sure they both trust their partners.”

“Right. It’s two years of 2Jae marriage. And Jinyoung hyung is dating the love of his life. Let’s get on with this.” Yugyeom said, influenced by the Chinese’s words. Bambam gave his boyfriend a dirty look, and tried to suggest something else.

“Perhaps we could end these games right here. What about playing with the cats a bit? We’re all tired and tipsy-”

“I think you should do it, Jin.” Mark declared firmly, cutting Bambam off and turning to his boyfriend. Both the Thai and Jinyoung eyed him with surprise as he continued. “It will be hot.”

“Are you actually serious?” Youngjae asked a bit annoyed as he glared at the American. “Haven’t you heard about Jinyoung hyung’s college crush? It’s my husband right there.” The publicist said emphatically, as he pointed to an uncomfortable Jaebeom.

“You heard Jia Er. It’s all about trust. And I trust Jin. Don’t you trust your husband?” Mark crossed his arms and gave the publicist a defying look. “A game is a game. You should have put your jealousy aside once you decided to play.”

“This is ridiculous.” A defeated Youngjae exhaled and looked away. When he addressed his slightly unsettled husband, the latter’s breath hitched. The fun and games have officially ended for the publicist. “I won’t tell you not to do it. It’s your choice. It’s your dongsaeng. If you think this is okay, go ahead, and don’t mind me.”

“This looks like a K-drama episode! It’s been a while since I had that kind of fun. I’m glad I came to this party!” A thoughtless Bo Young exclaimed, making the Koreans gasp, and the Chinese snort.

“What the fuck did she say?!” A low-key upset Mark asked, as he turned to the author. He tried not to lose his cool, since he knew that was exactly what Jackson wanted him to do, yet, he couldn’t help but get irritated about the situation. Jackson and Bo Young had just made that birthday party chaotic with one single dare.

“Nothing! Look, Bambam is right. We had enough of kinky drinking games, haven’t we? Let’s just go home. We have nothing to prove to anyone.” The writer eyed the American tenderly. But then Mark glanced briefly at Bo Young and a smirking Jackson. Now he wanted to prove to the Chinese that his relationship with Jinyoung was strong enough to survive a mere French kiss. He felt like he couldn’t leave that party without doing so.

“Do I have any reason to be jealous of you?” The American asked briskly.

“No.” Jinyoung said quickly.

“Then prove it to me.” Mark told Jinyoung, who shook his head at him a bit disappointed. The writer came closer to him and tried to reason with his boyfriend in a lower tone, making sure that only the American heard him.

“Markie, this is nonsense. You do know Jackson probably made my sister say that. He’s fucking with us.”

“That means I do have a reason to be jealous of you then?” Mark stared at him hard. Jinyoung exhaled and gave up.

“Fine! If that’s what you wanna see, fine!” The writer retorted, as he started walking in the editor’s direction. Youngjae grimaced when he saw the author approach his husband, and took some distance from them. Jaebeom took a few steps backwards when he saw his best friend come up to him. They exchanged a few words. Then Jaebeom nodded to him and they started kissing. An enthusiastic Jackson started the countdown. Bambam shook his head in reprovingly. Yugyeom looked worried as soon as he saw the publicist go into the house, so he went after him. Bo Young clapped her hands drunkenly and seemed to be the only audience excited to see her brother lock lips with the editor.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Bambam asked Mark quietly as he stood beside him.

“Not at all.”

“Why did you make him do it then?” The Thai looked confused.

“I didn’t. He could have refused it even though I insisted on it. What he is doing right now is proving something to himself, not to me.” Mark stated, as before he started chewing on his lips.

“And what is it that he is proving to himself?” The Thai frowned, wondering why his best friend chose to torture himself like that.

“That whatever he felt for JB in he past doesn’t even compare to what he feels for me now.” Mark replied, but his assertive words sounded more like wishful thinking. Bambam noticed how he nervously bit his lower lip. He was aware that his best friend was having a hard time watching that spectacle, even though he put up a brave front. 

“You’re certainly stronger than I thought. Jae couldn’t even bear to witness it. We’ll be probably be banned from his house and I’m sure he’ll never play drinking games with us again.” Bambam commented, as he observed the two Koreans finally disentangle their lips from each other. Jackson and Bo Young complimented the best friends for completing the dare. However, as soon as JB looked around them and found no sign of his husband, he rushed into the house to look for him. The publicist was unwrapping Nora’s presents with Yugyeom when Jaebeom entered the living room.

“Are you okay?” The editor asked as he approached the couch where the pair was sitting. Yugyeom wondered if he should just leave the two alone to talk.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Let’s just hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea.” Youngjae replied, struggling to hide his desire to criticize his husband. When Jaebeom sat beside him, he refused to look at him. The editor was about to say something when Bo Young, Jackson and Bambam entered the room.

Meanwhile, the Markjin couple was having a chat in the backyard.

“So, did you enjoy it?” the American asked, as he refused to meet his eyes.

“No.” Jinyoung said simply.

“Why not? You’ve been probably yearning to do that for a long time. You’ve got your wish.” Mark said quietly, but he didn’t sound judgmental.

“Well, the curiosity is gone, and I still love you.” Jinyoung replied, as he held both side of Mark’s face and looked into his eyes. “I’ve been yearning to do this during this whole party.” He revealed, as he closed the distance between them and kissed his boyfriend slowly and intensely. The American sighed into the kiss. Their lips and tongues danced passionately and they only paused those delirious movements to breathe. “Now I’ve got my most wanted wish.”

“I was dying to kiss you too.” The American murmured, as he wrapped his arms around the Korean. Jinyoung’s eye smile with whiskers warmed his heart. It made him want to trace all those cute lines on his cheeks.

“Weren’t you even a little bit jealous?” The Korean raised an eyebrow at him.

“Of course I was. But now I know I can be Jaebeom’s friend, since you realized that his lips are not such a big deal... Mine are.” Mark replied, as he rested his forehead on his and brushed his lips against Jinyoung’s. The Korean let out a satisfied grunt and moved to attack the older’s lips again, but Mark stopped him, placing a finger on his lips.

“What did you tell Jaebeom to convince him to kiss you in front of his husband?” The American asked curiously, and removed his finger from his lips in order to hear what he had to say.

“I told him that I wanted to kiss goodbye all those sinful thoughts I had about him during college. I told him that kiss would seal our friendship forever.” Jinyoung explained, and, his boyfriend simply nodded to him.

“Are you planning in introducing me to Bo Young as your boyfriend? I mean, we’ve touched each other a lot, and we even talked about giving heads and spanking tails in front of her. Even though she didn’t understand a thing we said, you’ve outed yourself completely during the games by just agreeing to play with me.” Mark frowned at him and waited for his response. He didn’t mean to pressure him, he just wanted to know if they were on the same page.

“I guess I was worried about her reaction at first. Bo Young can be unpredictable sometimes. The fact that Jackson was the one who brought her here made me imagine that some sort of catastrophe was about to happen. Sorry for being such a coward. My relationship with my family is a bit strained. But don’t worry, babe. Even though we’ve made things quite obvious during the games, before we go home, I’ll definitely tell my sister I’m officially dating the hottest bartender alive.” The Korean assured him with a brief peck. Mark smiled and gave him a heartfelt hug. He started giggling when his boyfriend’s strong arms lifted him off his feet and twirled him around. A timid meow interrupted that magical moment.

“Look who is here! Come on, put me down. I’ve gotta interact with the birthday cat.” The American said laughing, and Jinyoung finally put Mark down. They both chuckled when Nora approached them and rubbed her furry face on their legs. The couple sat on the grass and started to pet the feline.

“When we get married, we’re gonna have real babies or pets?” Jinyoung asked without taking his eyes off the cat.

“When? You mean, if we get married, right?” Mark commented as he emphasized the ‘if’. Jinyoung lifted his eyes to meet his, he blinked several times, and pouted. Mark would’ve called him cute if the topic wasn’t so serious.

“You hurt my feelings when you say stuff like that, you know.” The writer confessed, a bit disheartened. The older rolled his eyes at him, as he watched Nora suddenly turn around, ignore them, and walk away.

“You scared the cat away with this marriage with kids talk.” The American said tiredly.

“Babe, is it the cat the one who’s scared, or you?” Jinyoung insisted on the subject, as he cocked his head to the side and examined his lover’s features.

“I don’t scare easy, you know that. It’s just…We can talk about that after our 777 dates.” The older said thoughtfully.

“Only then you’ll agree to have my babies?” The writer whined.

“Listen, I don’t see myself taking care of another life that depends on me.” Mark stated a bit more serious.

“You’ve done a good job with Bambam.” Jinyoung grinned. Mark scoffed.

“He was neither a child, nor a pet when I took him in.” The American reminded him.

“But you took him out of the streets, you took good care of him, you still do.” Jinyoung pointed out.

“Sometimes I think that it was him who took care of me. Especially when things got too rough.” The American gave the younger a small smile before he took a deep breath. “Since we’re talking about rough things like parenthood, and matrimony, when are you gonna ask me about the scars?” Mark asked abruptly, taking the other by surprise. Jinyoung furrowed his brows and looked down.

“Was is too painful?” His voice barely reached the older’s ears.

“Those were painful times, Nyoungie. I was in pain or drugged most of the time. And sometimes, I was simple out of my mind.” Mark sighed and murmured, as he lifted Jinyoung’s chin, connecting their eyes again. “Ask me more. Ask me who did it, and how, and why.”

“Mark-”

Before Jinyoung could finish his sentence, they heard a loud noise coming from inside the house. Loud familiar voices followed by an angered yell drove them to immediately check what was going on between their friends.

“Mark! Will you please control your best friend? I won’t tolerate any kind of violence inside my damn house!” Jaebeom demanded, as soon as the American and the author entered the living room. Yugyeom was gently pressing his boyfriend against the wall in order to keep him from going after Jackson who was standing across the room. Bambam still shouted some curses in Thai at the Chinese. The editor was in front of the Jackson blocking him from any harm. The Chinese’s nose was bleeding. Youngjae stood on a corner of the room beside a speechless Bo Young. The publicist looked appalled, without knowing what to do.

Mark hushed to Bambam’s side and asked the angered Thai what was wrong. While Jinyoung hurried to interrogate the bleeding Chinese.

“Bammie, talk to me. What did he do? Why did you do that to his nose?” Mark asked exasperated, as he tried to make the Thai focus on him, but the latter refused to answer him. He inhaled. The American had managed to tolerate Jackson’s taunting for quite a while, but if he found out that the Chinese had done something to Bambam, he wouldn’t let him get away with it.

“Jackson hyung made a nasty comment about you, and then... Bam saw red.” A nervous Yugyeom answered the American, as he still had a hand on The Thai’s chest to keep him from moving. “It’s my fault! I shouldn’t have taught him swear words in Korean. I still don’t know how he managed to understand all that. Shit, he knew exactly what Jackson hyung was saying.” Yugyeom looked like he was about to cry. Mark noticed how he looked worried about his boyfriend’s state, so he tried to calm him down too.

“He’s a fast learner, isn’t he? But don’t worry, he just needs a minute to relax. Remember he got like this at the penthouse in LA? It’s fine, he’ll be all right.” The older held Bambam’s shaking hands and continued. “Now tell me what Jia Er said to set him off like this.” Mark asked, and Yugyeom hesitated to repeat what he heard. However, Jackson, who was paying fully attention to the trio, had no qualms in informing the American what happened. He ignored Jinyoung’s interrogation and started shouting across the room.

“I was just telling Jae not to get upset about the dare. I clarified to him that thanks to his husband, Jinyoung now could tell the difference between kissing a decent man and a dirty whore! That was when your hot-headed pal jumped to defend you. His frenzied attitude lead us to wonder…Is he really just a great friend or are you banging him too, China Doll?” Jackson yelled viciously, and as soon as the words left his mouth, Jinyoung slapped him.

“That’s the last time you call him that.” The author hissed. Jackson held his cheek in shock. Jaebeom was speechless. The others in awe. Mark would’ve ran to his boyfriend at that moment and dragged him out of that living room if he wasn’t so worried about what could happen if he let go of Bambam’s hands. Mark didn’t expect to see Jinyoung react that way, and although the writer slapped Jackson because of his crude insults, the American was not happy to see that violent side of him again. He couldn’t help but think that his boyfriend began to show signs of temperament whenever he was directly or indirectly involved in certain situations. He hated to see the author so stressed out because of him. If he could foresee that a mere birthday party would end up like that, he would have stayed home with Jinyoung. He regretted not running a mile as soon as Jackson appeared before them in that house. He knew that sooner or later, the Chinese would cause a ruckus, because whenever Jackson would lay his eyes on him, the man would be reminded that his fiancée was dead. Mark was aware that Jackson wouldn’t be able to be around him and pretend that there was no bad blood between just to preserve the harmony of that house. However, he wanted to believe that if he followed Jaebeom’s advice and avoided Jackson’s provocations, they would be all right. Now he automatically blamed himself for all the chaos in there. He should’ve trusted his guts.

"Jinyoung, do you realize that you’ve just hit your own friend, right after this crazy Thai kid almost broke his nose!? And all of this just because Jack bad-mouthed your assistant!” Bo Young scolded her brother, as she approached the wounded Chinese on the other corner of the room.

“He’s not a damn assistant, Mark is my fucking boyfriend, okay!? I won’t allow anyone to disrespect him like that!” He retorted, as his satoori started slipping into his words. All his friends knew that the author’s hometown dialect gushed from his mouth whenever he got too angry. He cursed under his breath, completely ignoring Jaebeom’s reproving look. If the editor hated violence, that was certainly one of the worst birthday parties he had ever hosted. Youngjae was still petrified. He never thought he would see the day when Park Jinyoung would raise a hand against someone. And to think that someone would be their friend Jackson Wang! He couldn’t believe his own eyes. Yugyeom observed the dramatic turn of events, but stayed beside his boyfriend all the time.

“Oh, right! As if I hadn’t noticed that. You’ve finally said it! Of course, you two are together. I’m not surprised, you know. It’s not like you're the first Park with a thing for Americans." The woman seemed to sober up as she raised an eyebrow at him. Then she briefly turned to a still astonished Jackson and examined the state of his nose. It was still bleeding, so she took a handkerchief out of her bag and pressured it against his nostrils. The Chinese made a painful noise, and she patted his back. "Sorry about that."

“Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else? Perhaps my office?” An alarmed Jaebeom suggested. He couldn’t help but suspect that Jackson had told Bo Young about Soo Young’s connection with Mark. The stupefied look on the writer’s face was a proof that he was thinking the same thing as him.

"Hey! What did you tell her?" Jinyoung ignored the editor’s suggestion and addressed the Chinese again, but his sister and Jaebeom came between them. Jackson stayed silent. Mark had no idea of what was being said, since they quickly shifted to Korean, right after Jinyoung slapped Jackson. And Although, Yugyeom and Youngjae understood every word that was being exchanged in that room, they looked confused by the strange behaviour of their friends. They had no idea why Jackson was being so rude to Mark, and Bo Young’s words concerning the Parks and Americans, made no sense to them either.

"Soo Young told me about her overseas affair. I kept her secret of course, until I found out it's not a secret anymore." The woman quickly informed him. She didn’t look nor sounded drunk. She seemed perfectly clearheaded at that moment.

"How do you even know it’s not a secret anymore?" The author narrowed his eyes, as the pace of his heartbeats increased.

"I saw the files at Jackson's house. I know what you're planning and I know exactly who your assistant is." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Jinyoung's eyes grew large. His shock was tremendous. She clicked her tongue as her eyes lingered on the American for a few seconds. Jackson walked past Jaebeom and Bo Young to approach the writer again.

"She found them by accident. She wasn’t supposed to see those files. But she's on our side, don't worry. She hates him as much as we do." Jackson finally spoke very close to the author’s ear. It seemed that he genuinely thought that the writer would appreciate that information. Jinyoung shook his head in dismal as the Chinese tried to explain himself. "She even congratulated us for such a great plan!"

"Shut up!" He snarled at Jackson and turned to Bo Young again. "What were you even doing at his house?!" The author demanded from his sister.

"We're sleeping together." She said nonchalantly. Jackson closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He knew she had drunk too much. That kind of information wasn't supposed to be shared with anyone in there. He was aware that Jinyoung wouldn’t be happy about that affair. That party wasn’t supposed to end like that. The strength of Jinyoung’s slap didn’t felt like acting. The way the writer proclaimed that Mark was his boyfriend sounded too real to his ears. And the look of betrayal plastered on Jinyoung’s face now made Jackson feel like the worst friend in the world.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?!" Jinyoung gritted his teeth. The Chinese tried once more to smooth things over as he addressed the author.

"Jinyoung-ah, I didn't mean to-"

"Fuck you, Jackson! You do know she's married with two kids, right?!" The author shouted at him. Jackson didn’t know how to apologize for something like that. He understood why the writer was mad about his affair with Bo Young, but he also thought that his friend would be pleased to know that she could become their ally at some point. Bo Young snorted.

"Don't look so scandalized. I married the same man twice for the sake of my two daughters. I would’ve stayed divorced if it wasn’t for them. I know my husband is cheating on me again. He never stopped. He doesn't even hide his mistress from me anymore. Why should I be the only one faithful? Jack just happened to be available and willing. Am I not allowed to have some fun too?" The woman asked in a bitter tone. The Chinese looked mortified.

"He's our late sister's fiancé!" A fuming Jinyoung eyed her in disbelief, he felt like killing the Chinese. The other Koreans just watched the three in awe. They didn’t dare to say a thing while the Parks’ siblings washed their dirty linen in public. Bambam and Mark were the only ones oblivious to what was being discussed between them. The Thai was not fighting against Yugyeom’s arm anymore. After he saw the writer slap Jackson, he soon managed to get a grip. Now he just observed the fast and irritated words leaving Bo Young’s mouth, and tried to decipher the content of the argument, but he was unable to follow the dialogue. Especially now that both siblings’ aggressive satoori assaulted everyone’s ears.

"And who's the American you're screwing? Isn't he the guy who impregnated her? Even if it's just for a revenge, don't tell me you're not enjoying this a little bit too much! You have no right to judge me! I was her sibling too! You shouldn't have kept me in the dark about all she went through. You should’ve told me about the real reason you went to America! I would have joined you in this little mission. Actually, I would’ve made a much better plan. One that would not include you in his bed." She accused harshly, and her brother was rendered speechless. Then she turned to a guilty-looking Jackson and said briskly, "I'm leaving now. Call me later." Bo Young bowed slightly to the owners of the house and left the house in a flash.

"She’s not in any condition to drive. I'll take her home." Jackson was about to go after Bo Young, but Jinyoung's firm hand on his arm stopped him. Mark observed them attentively. He couldn’t understand them, but he could guess why the argument became so heated. He heard Soo Young’s name come out of Bo Young’s mouth. He could imagine why Jinyoung's sister gave him such a hateful look before she left.

"I should tear you apart for this. I’ll never forgive you for bringing her into this mess. You went too far! How long has this been going on? Were you cheating on Soo Young with her own sister!?" Jinyoung demanded from Jackson, who looked slightly offended by the question. 

“No! I would never do that to my fiancée.” Jackson denied firmly, and sighed in frustration. Look, this is all pretty recent. Just a couple of weeks. You wouldn’t understand it even if I tried to explain it to you! I didn’t plan any of it. It just happened. We met in Busan last month, we went out for dinner, and somehow we felt a connection, you know?”

“Is that so? Well, you’re going to stop seeing her, you hear me!?” The consternated writer commanded as he shook him by the shoulders.

"Jin, let go of him." Jaebeom warned in a serious tone, as he tried to get his hands off the Chinese. Even the publicist intervened this time as he carefully walked to the trio and attempted to pour oil on troubled waters.

"Jinyoung, Seunnah is already hurt. Remember that you two are friends. I’m sure you both can discuss this matter without using your fists." Youngjae's concerned tone still had a tinge of astonishment. It was obvious to all the Korean speakers in that living room that Mark and Soo Young had an affair in America, and that Jinyoung went to the United States to get back at him. Yet, no one dared to ask about the details of the revenge Bo Young mentioned. Neither Jaebeom nor Youngjae convinced Jinyoung to let go of Jackson, but someone else did.

"Jinyoung, he’s not worth it. He had enough. Just leave him be, come here." The American said from across the room. He stretched his arms in his direction and beckoned him. The author glanced at his lover and his expression changed. He slowly let go of the Chinese's shoulder and went to Mark. Jaebeom was impressed, as he watched the author walk in the older’s direction and fall into his arms. Only then, the editor realized that Mark had more control over Jinyoung than he thought. Jackson was agape, as well as Youngjae. Yugyeom was genuinely astounded, but for other reasons. The fact that his cousin went to America with him because of a revenge was hard to digest. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was part of some sort of hidden camera prank.

"You know what? I agree with Seunnah. Bo Young Noona drank a little too much, I'll see if I can still catch up with her and put her in a taxi.” Jaebeom announced quickly. He gritted his teeth and turned to the Chinese. “Jack, I’ll personally drive you home." The editor didn’t wait for a response when he grabbed a bewildered Jackson by the arm and made him walk with him. Before Jaebeom left the living room with Jackson, he eyed his husband and whispered to him, "I'll be back soon. Watch them." Youngjae nodded and swallowed. He could tell that Jaebeom didn’t look as shocked as the others after listening to everything that was discussed in that room. He was relieved to see that his husband was wise enough to get the Chinese out of the house. Neither Bambam nor Jinyoung should be around the man if he decided to spurt more insults against the American. He didn’t have to be a genius to know that some heavy truths proclaimed by Bo Young in there affected all of his guests. The fact that Jinyoung didn’t deny her accusations automatically legitimated her statements. The party, the games, the fun, and the fights were over, and now just a solemn silence infiltrated the room. Although Bo Young and Jackson were gone, the atmosphere didn’t improve.

“Will you please let go of me? It’s not like Wang is still in the room.” Bambam’s voice broke the conflicting stillness hovering in the room. He put a hand on the arm Yugyeom still used to keep him from moving and the younger finally released him. Yugyeom felt relieved to see that Bambam had regained his self-control, but he didn’t think any of the foreigners in that room would be pleased to know what had just happened. He eyed the abandoned way his cousin buried his head in Mark’s shoulder and how the American caressed his hair. He needed answers, and he needed them now.

"Jinyoung hyung, won’t you tell us about the files Nonna mentioned? Are you and Jackson hyung seeking revenge for what happened to Bo Young Noona? How come?! As far as I know her death was ruled suicide! Did we travel all the way to America to hurt Mark hyung? Back in LA, when you told me to meet you at 777 Ways…Was that part of your plan?" Yugyeom asked bluntly in English. He decided to shift to the foreign language for the sake of Bambam and Mark. He did not intend to keep them in the dark about the argument between the Koreans siblings and the Chinese. He was obviously worried about YugBam and MarkJin’s future. He knew that whatever happened with his cousin’s relationship with Mark could easily affect his relationship with the Thai, and he couldn’t bear to let them return to America at that point. He sounded sad when he regarded the author. A mix of betrayal and puzzlement clouded the maknae’s expression when a resigned Jinyoung left Mark’s embrace and stared him in the eye. He watched his cousin sigh, so he asked the question which really mattered. “Are you acting now? Don’t you love Mark hyung?”

“What files? What plan? What the hell do you mean by hurting Mark?” An alarmed Bambam looked taken aback, as he crossed his arms and waited for a response. He didn’t like seeing Yugyeom suddenly so gloom. And his boyfriend’s last question to the author perturbed him. “Will someone explain what is going on?”

"Of course I do love Mark." Jinyoung replied in fluent English at last. His satori was finally gone. He knew he needed to deal with the situation as pacifically as possible. The author was fully aware of the Thai’s impatient look. He didn’t know how to start answering all those questions around him, but he knew he had to find a way to do it. Especially the ones coming from Bambam. Overprotective of his friend as he was, the Thai might land a punch on him too. It wouldn’t be the first time.

"I love you too." Mark announced automatically as he entwined his fingers with Jinyoung’s. Right at that moment he knew he had to show Jinyoung that he would have his support no matter what. Then he took a deep breath while his eyes travelled around the room. The other three eyed them anxiously. So he added, “Before you guys start making assumptions, I want you to know that I’m aware of the revenge, I know all of it. Jin has already forgotten about it. Jackson is the only one still pursuing it.”

"Then what exactly Bo Young Nonna was talking about? Mark did you know Soo Young?" Youngjae asked, finally voicing his concerns, the American simply nodded to him. The publicist eyed him with perplexity. Jinyoung’s hold on Mark’s hand tightened as he brought him to the sofa. The author instructed the others to also take a seat. Yugyeom and Youngjae quickly sat down, but Bambam refused to. He knew he was about to listen to something unpleasant, so he just stood there and braced himself.

“Mark, who’s Soo Young? What is this about?” Bambam asked, as his eyes fixed on his best friend. However, before the American could start explaining himself, the author spoke up.

"Everyone here should know that I went to America to find the man who impregnated my late sister. Jackson paid people to investigate the person who was having an affair with Soo Young in LA. He collected a great amount of information regarding this guy she was seeing, our supposed foe. I actually went to the U.S. seeking revenge at first, because I needed to have someone to blame for her suicide. Then I met him, and I had quite a difficult time hating him. I wanted to make him suffer just like I thought he had made my Noona suffer. I studied him like I never studied anyone, or anything else in my whole life. I read him, I couldn’t see the monster those files claimed that he was. I wanted him to admit what he did, I wanted him to show me how evil he was. But, no matter how hard I tried to decipher this person, doubts kept piling up in my head. The villain I had picture in my mind didn’t match the man I slowly felt attracted to. I was in so much turmoil that I thought that a simple explanation from him would suffice. I thought his version of the story would be enough. But it wasn’t clarification I wanted from him anymore. I just wanted him. So I revealed to him who I was and what I was doing in LA. He told me about his affair with Soo Young, and I realized that there was no reason for me to see him as an enemy. She caused her own death, and I knew that from the start. I just had to stop deluding myself. I don’t even know when I fell in love with him, but the truth is, when I felt that I couldn’t stay away from him, suddenly nothing else mattered. I brought him to Korea, I made space in my life for him, and he allowed me to know him better. Fortunately, I realized that my feelings were not one-sided. Now I plan to spend the rest of my life with him. This man is among us now, in this very room. Mark Tuan is my one and only love. My first and last, and I mean him no harm. Even though Jackson might still believe that I’m his ally, the one who’s actually being played is him, not Mark. And the only reason I’m deceiving him is because I wanna keep him from hurting Mark." Jinyoung declared honestly, trying his best to occult the nasty details of their journey. He didn’t know if his audience was convinced of the reliability of his speech.

Yugyeom and Youngjae were absolutely flabbergasted. But it was the sound of clapping hands which made the Korean flinch.

“That’s a hell of a good plot.” The Thai said sarcastically as he shook his head reprovingly. “What are we still doing in here, Mark?”

“What do you mean?” The American frowned at his best friend.

"What the fuck?! Are you even asking me that?" Bambam eyed the older as if he was mad. "Of all the shit you’ve done in your past, of all the people you have messed with, it’s a revengeful fiancé who’s out to get you?! How come you didn't tell me about this shit?"

"You weren't ready to hear it." Mark stated calmly. “And apparently you’re still not.”

"What? That you impregnated Jinyoung’s sister, who happened to be Wang’s fiancée, and then she committed suicide?!" Bambam was beside himself, as he made exaggerated gestures with is arms. "You actually think that he loves you?” Bambam pointed to the writer and Mark sighed. “This is a goddamn trap! You’re not safe here. Don’t you ever learn? Let’s get the hell out of this fucking country A.S.A.P!"

"He didn’t impregnate Soo Young. It’s was Jackson’s baby, not his. Listen, Bam, I know how crazy it sounds. But you must believe when I say I love your friend very much.” Jinyoung’s tone was fearful. If the Thai decided to leave Korea, he knew Mark wouldn’t let him return to America alone. He glanced at Yugyeom and saw horror in his cousin’s eyes. The author knew that if both foreigners flew back to LA he wouldn’t be the only one in despair.

"Kim Yugyeom did you know about that?!" Bambam exclaimed, as he glared at his boyfriend.

"No, I swear! It’s obvious that Jinyoung hyung used me as an excuse to meet Mark hyung, but I’m only hearing about this now. Bam, I-”

"Right! Swear all you want! I don’t wanna hear it.” The Thai averted his eyes from a dejected Yugyeom and gritted his teeth. “Mark, come on. Get up. We're leaving right now. We’ve gotta pack." Bambam demanded harshly.

“Bam, listen to me, I know you’re mad because I hid this from you. But there’s no reason for you to be so upset. I wouldn’t bring you to a strange country if I knew I would put us in danger. You know that.” Mark said as he started to stand up just to calm his friend down, but Jinyoung’s hand held him back.

“Don’t go. If you leave me, I’ll die. Please, don’t walk out on me, babe.” Jinyoung begged pitifully. “Mark, I swear to God-”

“You’re a hell of an actor, I’ll give you that. I was so wrong about you! Just let go of him, you piece of shit.” Bambam cut the writer off, and stared hard at the American. “Even if you want to stay, we’ll still leave. We both know that.” Something in Mark’s expression changed. The serenity he was trying to maintain during his friend’s outburst suddenly flew out of the window. Yugyeom was too taken aback by his lover’s behaviour as he watched the two friends argue. Youngjae didn’t dare to say a word as more drama developed inside his living room. Jinyoung still held Mark’s hand desperately.

“Just calm the fuck down, okay!? We are not going anywhere. You think I’m gonna leave him just because you’re saying so? What makes you think you’re the one calling the shots now?” Mark asked quite annoyed.

“Well, I’m not staying, dear friend, so what you’re gonna do?” Bambam asked in a mocking tone. He knew Mark would never choose Jinyoung over him. He saw the hurt in his friend’s expression and continued. “I care for you, MT. You’re like a big brother to me. I saw you waste your love on someone who didn’t deserve you, and I saw what it did to you. I’m just keeping you from making the same mistake again. You know that.” He insisted as he walked to him. Mark lowered his eyes, and his determination seemed to waver.

“No, Bam! Bammie, look at me. Let’s discuss this first.” Yugyeom gathered enough courage to intervene at last. He stood up and grabbed his lover by the arm, making the foreigner face him. “Aren’t you forgetting something, Kunpimook Bhuwakul?! What about me? What about us!? We have a relationship, remember? We love each other! I’ve never given you a reason to doubt me. All I’ve been doing since I met you is treat you with respect and kindness. I’ve given you my affection and understanding. I’ve given you my freakin’ heart! I told you I’m not like the other guys you met. I’m not like that. I don’t want just sex! I want your mind, your soul, I want you to give me the whole package! Call me stupid or immature, but since the day I met you in LA, I knew we were meant to be. I’m serious about you, I never lied about that. You’re my fucking soulmate! Do you really think I would betray you, or Mark?! What the hell is wrong with you? You’re the only guy that I feel confident in introducing to my parents. You told me that Mark was your family, but I was your other half! You and I made plans, Bam! We are supposed to start looking for places, we’re moving in together soon! You said that we are together for life! We have a commitment, and I plan to stand by it. Don’t you dare talk about leaving this country, or me!” Yugyeom said firmly. Bambam was mesmerized by his boyfriend’s speech. He could never doubt those eyes that stared so intently into his own. He could barely find his voice to give the Korean a response.

“Yug-”

“You think that my cousin is playing Mark because of a stupid revenge.” Yugyeom cut him off and continued. “You think he’s using him just to throw him away later. I can’t blame you for thinking like that. After learning about all this shit, I also think he’s an asshole.” The maknae confessed, as his cousin eyed him with bewilderment. Nevertheless, the younger continued, “Yet, I’m not sure Jinyoung hyung is lying when he says he loves your best friend. But what about you? What have you been doing with me? Am I just a temporary pastime? Do you even love me? If you’re able to abandon me so easily after all the promises we’ve made, that only means you’re just as fucked up as you think my cousin is. As a matter of fact, if you take off right now, you’ll be worse than him. Now tell me, my darling Bambam, are you a hypocrite?”

“You guys are moving in together? T-that’s nice.” Youngjae commented awkwardly, feeling like a fish out of water. It was really disconcerting to be in the middle of two couples’ argument. Mark and Jinyoung exchanged looks. It was the first time they heard about the youngsters’ plan to have a place of their own. The American sat back on the sofa and observed the Thai’s expression soften, and his eyes water. He marvelled at the sight before him. Kim Yugyeom was not an ordinary young man at all. He was one of the few human beings that could make Kunpimook Bhuwakul struggle to say a simple sentence.

“Just take me home.” Bambam whispered to Yugyeom. The latter looked surprised.

“What home? You mean LA-”

“The current apartment you’re staying in, you fool. Unless, you have bought us a place already.” Bambam said, trying to sound as casual as possible, and refusing to let his tears fall. A smile crept into Yugyeom’s lips and he took the Thai’s hands in his.

“Your wish is my command. We’re going back first, guys.” Yugyeom announced proudly, and quickly said his goodbyes to Youngjae. Then his eyes travelled from Mark to his cousin. “We do have a lot to talk about. I still want to know the whole story. You owe me that. I see you two later.” The maknae was about to walk out of the house with his boyfriend when Mark ran after them. Jinyoung’s hand was still glued to his, of course, so he ran with him.

“Bam, I’m really sorry. Are we okay? I mean, you’re not going anywhere, are you?” The American asked a bit worried. The Thai refused to look at him.

“No, he’s not. I can assure you of that. I’ll keep an eye on your friend, hyung.” Yugyeom answered the question for him. However, Mark wouldn’t let his friend leave like that without giving him a proper reply.

“Bam, please. Say something.” Mark insisted, as he put a hand on his shoulder.

“Not now, Mark. I need to think about all this crap.” Bambam said and brushed his hand away. He just lifted his eyes to meet Jinyoung’s. “Just know that this conversation is not over.”

A while after the youngsters left, Jaebeom arrived. And unfortunately, he wasn’t bringing good news.


	37. Déjà vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I opened myself to you only to be skinned alive. The more vulnerable I became, the faster and more deft your knife. Knowing what was happening, still I stayed and let you carve more. That's how much I loved you. That's how much.” ― Rabih Alameddine

Jinyoung woke up with a major headache. As soon as he opened his eyes, he didn't think he could recognize the ceiling of that bedroom. His eyed surveyed the walls and the furniture. It didn't take him long to realize that he wasn't at his apartment, and that he wasn't alone in that bed. Another thing that caught his attention was the fact that the person lying beside him didn't have the same hair color of his boyfriend's. The hair length was different too, and as soon as he recognized the familiar mullet, he averted his eyes from that person's nape. His breath hitched. That was no stranger. He wondered if he was having nightmare, but as he pinched his own arm, the pain he felt made him realize that everything around him was indeed real. His heartbeats accelerated. He tried to calm down and convince himself that nothing sexual had happened in that room. That man and him had shared a bed before. They were roommates in college and sometimes they ended up falling asleep in his bed while studying for an exam. They were friends, and although Jinyoung wanted more than that back then, they had never crossed that line beyond friendship. He took a deep breath and told himself that it was impossible for him to cheat on Mark as much as it was impossible for Jaebeom to cheat on his husband. He slowly shifted around the mattress and looked under the covers just to confirm if he and his best friend were both naked. As soon as those naked, broad shoulders were revealed to him, his eyes lowered down further, until they glimpsed a pair of nude buttocks. The writer averted his gaze from the man and gasped. Panic washed over him. That was indeed Jaebeom in there, and they certainly had had sex. He felt a sticky substance between his legs and although his butt wasn't sore, he, as usual thought of the worst. He grimaced as he tried to remember what had happened the day before, but nothing came to his mind. He finally gathered enough courage to accept that sleep wasn’t’ the only thing they had done on that bed. He felt like running out of that room. He sat up and carefully moved away from Jaebeom, who seemed to be still fast asleep. However, as soon as he tried to leave the bed, the editor's arms circled his waist.

"Don't get up yet, Samchon. You're my teddy bear, you're supposed to keep me warm until I wake up." Jaebeom whispered, without opening his eyes. He pulled a terrified Jinyoung back to him just to lay his head on his chest and give it a gentle kiss. He also placed one leg above the writer's and sighed in contentment as he secured his 'husband' where he wanted. The writer was frozen on the spot as he let himself be dragged into Jaebeom's embrace. That simple gesture felt so wrong, but he didn't dare to say anything yet. He didn't know how to. Jaebeom still had no doubt that the man he was holding was Choi Youngjae, his husband and co-worker. "Let's not work today, huh? Let's just stay in bed for the rest of the day. Nora's party was a complete mess, and we do deserve some peace." He added as he caressed and sniffed the firm torso he rubbed his nose against. "Have you been working out? Somehow, you smell different."

"JB, get off me. Please?" Jinyoung was finally able to say something. He immediately felt the editor tense for a second, and then pull away from him in the next.

"Jin? What the fuck? How? Fuck, fuck! Where's Jae?" Jaebeom had never got up from a bed so fast. The look of terror in his eyes mirrored the younger's.

"I-I don't know." The writer replied as he lowered his eyes to the sheets. An astonished Jaebeom was standing completely naked in front of the bed demanding answers that he didn't have. "I don't remember anything. Do you?"

"No! But we didn't...I mean, that's not possible, right?" The editor's voice trembled.

"There's cum on the sheets." Jinyoung hurried to say, too ashamed to inform the other that he had semen between his legs.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"What do you think? It's probably ours." Jinyoung sighed in despair.

"No, Jinyoung. Think about it, maybe you had a wet dream, or something. It's not like I would touch you like that, because I would never cheat on Jae...Look, we were drunk last night but I would've remembered getting into bed with you, or fucking you. There must be an explanation for this shit." The editor hissed.

"Maybe you should put something on." The younger suggested, obviously ashamed to face the other.

"Maybe you should get out of this damn bed before my husband comes here." Jaebeom warned.

"I'm naked and I need a shower before leaving this room. What do you think your lovely teddy bear will say if he sees me walking out of here with his husband's jizz between my legs?" The author retorted nervously. The editor was appalled by those words. He shook his head in disbelief.

"My God! That dare shouldn't have happened. You told me that you just wanted to show everyone you were over me. Why did you lie? Jae was right. You probably got the wrong idea." Jaebeom cursed under his breath as he paced around the room. The writer looked outraged.

"Ya! Lim Jaebeom! Get over yourself! Who do you take me for? I'm not that stupid swooning college student who used to worship the ground you walked on. I'm not into you anymore, get this into your thick head! I have no intention of sleeping with anyone else but Mark. Do you think I intentionally seduced you or something? Don't put this on me okay!?" An offended Jinyoung argued as he left the bed wrapped around the sheets. Jaebeom swallowed and looked away.

"I know...It's just...What do you remember from last night?" The editor asked more collected, but still worried. His accusatory tone was gone. The writer exhaled and started to recollect his memory.

"Bam and Gyeom left the house obviously mad at me. Mark wanted to go after them, but Jae suggested us to give the youngsters some space and spend the night here. The three of us talked for a while. Jae said that he supported our relationship, even though Mark and I hid some facts from him. I swear it was the kindest thing I heard last night. Then you arrived and told us that my sister had already got into a cab when you tried to catch up with her, but you did take Seunie home. You explained to us how strangely quiet he was during the ride to his house. You told us how you tried to convince him to give up on seeking revenge for Soo. You said you were worried about him. Then you told us about his ultimatum. You told us that as soon as he got out of your car he finally gave you a piece of his mind. According to you, he was more than convinced that Mark and I weren't in a make-believe relationship, and that if you or Jae supported what Mark and I had, he would cut ties with both of you and fire you from Team Wang. He also said he would avenge Soo Young on his own." Jinyoung paused and looked alarmed when he suddenly heard Youngjae's hysterically loud laughter coming from downstairs. Jaebeom gave him a fearful look. The two were reminded that they weren't alone in the house, and the possibility of being caught naked together in that room made them postpone that conversation for another time.

"You should take a shower. I'm gonna check up on them downstairs." Jaebeom stated and Jinyoung quickly got into the bathroom. The editor quickly got dressed and replaced the bed sheets with clean ones. He knew he was doing that out of fear and guilt, but he did it anyway. He didn't know what Youngjae would do if he learned about him and Jinyoung. He felt like crap for hiding his infidelity, but he had no other choice. Losing Choi Youngjae was out of question. After he was done with the bed, he left clean clothes for Jinyoung on a chair and rushed downstairs. He found Mark and his husband still laughing in the kitchen.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." Youngjae greeted him sweetly and ruffled his hair. Mark simply gave him a nod with his head. Everything seemed normal, and that fact was what made him even more confused. "Do you want some coffee?" The publicist offered, but he just shook his head.

"What's so funny? We could hear you two from upstairs." JB asked, trying to sound casual. 

"Sorry, honey. Did we wake you up? It's just that Mark was just telling me a few of his bartender's stories. He's quiet at first, but when you get to know him, you realize he's quite hilarious." Youngjae replied, as he put one hand on the American's shoulder.

"Why did I wake up beside Jinyoung this morning?" Jaebeom asked bluntly. He frowned when Youngjae smiled at him. Mark wasn't smiling.

"Oh, you guys stayed up until very late drinking in the living room, talking about your college days with Seunnah and blah, blah, blah. Mark and I were bored, so we went upstairs to have our own chat. I guess we ended up falling sleep on the bed. I take it that you placed a blanket over us and slept in the other room with Jin in order not to disturb our sleep? That was quite nice of you, darling." Youngjae said and gave him a peck on the cheek. The American just observed them on a corner of the kitchen.

"Aren't you mad about the fact that Jin and I shared the same bed after yesterday's dare?" Jaebeom was anxious and puzzled at the same time. 

"Well, aren't you mad about the fact that I and mister hottie right there shared a bed last night?" Youngjae asked as he pointed to the quiet American leaning on the fridge with his arms crossed.

"Youngjae, I'm serious." Jaebeom sighed in frustration. His husband relented.

"Okay. Look, I won't lie. I was upset about the kiss you guys shared at my freaking backyard, and yeah, I had my reasons to think that dare was not a good idea, but I have no doubt that Jinyoung is taken now. After everything I heard yesterday I will never doubt who's the owner of Park Jinyoung's heart. I mean, he's dating a guy that he initially thought that was his enemy! He couldn't hate him even though he thought he should! He fell in love with him, brought him to Korea, and now they live together, even though they're defying Jack's fury! That's epic, and pretty romantic. Oh, and let's not forget that Jin even bought him an awesome bar! You don't stand a chance Lim Jaebeom, your dongsaeng has totally forgotten about you." Youngjae chuckled and winked at him.

"Didn't you look for me this morning?" Jaebeom asked suddenly.

"As a matter of fact, I was surprised to see that you were not the one lying next to me when I woke up. But Mark quickly went to check the other room and he said you and Jinyoung were there. He assured me that you were both still alive, and insisted that I should let you guys sleep a little more since you two had a lot to drink last night." The publicist informed him, calmly. The editor swallowed as he heard those words. He glanced at the unreadable American in the kitchen. Mark looked unfazed. Jaebeom didn't know the foreigner that well, so he couldn't tell if the American was angry or not. He had no idea of how the older interpreted the scene before him earlier. He couldn't even imagine what the foreigner thought when he saw both him and Jinyoung in bed. Was he unbothered about it? Did he notice their nakedness? Was he planning to tell Jae?"

"You two didn't wake up naked, did you?" JB asked abruptly. That whole thing looked like a set up to him. He needed to find the missing piece of that puzzle. He refused to believe that he got so drank to the point of mistaking Jinyoung for his husband and having sex with him last night. However, his question, obviously wasn't very welcomed. His husband was agape, and Mark's expression still didn't show any sign of disturbance.

"Why the hell would we be naked?" Youngjae asked, making a face at him.

"Forget it." The editor immediately regretted asking that as he stared at his taken aback husband. He felt miserable. That was not a prank. No one undressed them and made they think they had sex. Everything was real, his infidelity was indeed consummated.

"Wow! That's uncalled for. Come on, Beom-ah. Do you think I would have sex with a hyung's boyfriend while my husband slept in a room right next to mine?" Youngjae gave him a ludicrous look. His whole body language indicated that he was offended by what JB insinuated.

"Sorry, it never crossed my mind that you would cheat on me. That was just a joke, of course." Jaebeom said awkwardly, and pulled his husband to him to envelope him in his arms. He didn’t know what else to do. He was doomed.

"No, it clearly wasn't. Jealous much? You should be." Mark asked as he narrowed his eyes at the editor.

"Mark hyung, behave." A chuckling Youngjae said quickly, as he unwillingly shied away from Jaebeom's hug and turned to the foreigner. "I'm gonna brush my teeth upstairs and as soon as I'm finished, I'll take you to the bar. Be ready by then."

"Where are you two going? What bar?" JB asked as desperation took over him. He wasn't sure if it was safe to leave those two alone. The way Mark glared at him was unnerving.

"Mark wanted me to show him some stuff Bam and I have been preparing for their bar opening. We won't be long. I promise we'll be back before lunch." An animated Youngjae informed his husband and exited the kitchen. Mark kept silent as the editor carefully approached him.

"You saw us?" Jaebeom went straight to the point as soon as he found himself alone with the American.

"Why do you think I didn't let Jae check up on you guys in the other room? Why do you think I made an excuse to get your husband out of the house? Do you really think I care about a goddamned bar opening after last night?" Mark asked coldly without looking at him.

"I don't understand. Why are you covering for us?" Jaebeom was stunned.

"Covering for you and Jinyoung, you mean? So you did really have sex?" Mark's question sounded more like a statement, and the editor didn't deny it. He felt like if he tried to deny it, he would sound pathetically guilty anyways. The sperm on the sheets were a proof of his infidelity.

"I don't remember." 

"That's a classic answer." The older commented in a sarcastic tone.

"It's the truth." The editor said honestly.

"So, who topped who?" Mark asked sardonically and added, "You see, I didn’t stay long in that room to check whose dick did the thrust or stuff like that! But I was kinda worried. Jinyoungie tears easily. I hope you took proper care of him, in case he was the one who got his ass fucked."

"You're unbelievable!" Jaebeom exclaimed. He couldn't believe that they were having that kind of conversation in a half civilized way. If Youngjae had been the one who found them like that, the publicist would be screaming and throwing stuff at him. "Aren't you mad?!"

"Mad?" Mark snorted bitterly. "Just don't tell Jinyoung that I know. If you do, I'll end your marriage in the worst way possible." Mark announced caustically, but he didn’t raise his voice.

"What can be worse than my infidelity?! You can't end my marriage, I already did it. The moment Jae finds out what I did, it's over. He won't forgive this shit." Jaebeom said exasperated.

"Believe me, I can make things even more complicated for you. Just do as I say and keep quiet about it. Jae doesn't have to find out. Jin doesn't have to know that I know. Consider last night your dirty little secret. You were both drunk, it was mistake. It won't happen again if you stay married and keep your dick inside your pants whenever you are around my boyfriend. Let's just forget about the whole thing." Mark instructed him, struggling not to lose his patience with the editor. He was really trying to erase the image of a naked Jinyoung in Jaebeom's arms, but he just couldn't unseen that.

"You're going to forgive him just like that? How will you manage to pretend that nothing happened?" Jaebeom wasn't convinced of Mark’s exceptional self-control.

"What choice do I have? He probably feels guilty about it already. I won't hold it against him. It was just one drunk fuck, it meant nothing. It's fine. Hell, it's not like I'm not used to it." The American retorted, still doing his best to keep his voice down. He couldn’t believe that he was already making excuses for his boyfriend's behavior for the sake of his own peace of mind.

"To what?" The editor couldn't understand the older.

"Being cheated on. He's not the first guy who takes me for granted." The anguished American said quietly, as he chewed on his bottom lip. He sounded so disappointed and hurt that the editor almost felt bad for him.

"Mark-"

"Whatever excuse you have to say, I don't wanna hear it." The older warned him.

"I don't usually keep secrets from my husband." Jaebeom spoke firmly. When he was upstairs getting rid of the stained sheets he was convinced that the publicist should never find out about his adultery, but now, that he realized that Mark had already found out about it, he wasn't so certain of his decision.

"You could have told Jae the truth as soon as you came down the stairs and entered this kitchen, but you didn't. He would be heartbroken if you did. Ignorance is a bliss. You're just being merciful. There's a first time for everything, right?" Mark said sarcastically.

"This is not right. He must know." Jaebeom's eyes watered. He didn't think he could be pretend that everything was all right between him and the publicist after what he did.

"And you think he'll be as understanding as I am? You said yourself that if he learns about this he won't forgive you. Are you going to sacrifice 2 years of marriage because you have a guilty conscience? Don't you see how stupid that sounds? If he asks for a divorce you'll be giving Jin the green light to chase after you! I swear if you fuck up my relationship with my boyfriend, I'll fucking kill you, Lim Jaebeom." Mark hissed as he came very close to the editor and shot daggers at him. 

"Why would he be chasing after me? Mark, he loves you." Jaebeom tried to reason with him.

"And that's the part that really kills me. He even said he loves me." Mark inhaled, as he closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again. His nose was almost touching the JB's when he spoke again. "If he really cares for me, he’ll tell me what happened between you two as soon as he comes down here and look me in the eye.”

“I didn’t tell Jae, and he’s the most important person in my life.” Jaebeom argued. Mark dismissed his words and placed a hand on the side of his neck.

“Beom, when I'm in pain, I don't care about inflicting pain on others. Don't give me a reason to let you know who I really am." The American whispered to him, and before Jaebeom reacted to his threat, a voice interrupted them.

"Mark?" Jinyoung frowned as he entered the kitchen. He saw how the American was giving the editor an intimidating look. He feared the worst. "Is everything all right?"

"Of course not." The American said as he took a few steps back from Jaebeom and turned to him. Both Jinyoung and Jaebeom tensed. "Don't you remember last night's news? Your Chinese pal is out to get me. Bam is not picking up my calls, and I know I'll have a hard time convincing him of how you and I are perfect together." Mark gave him a sad smile, but took his hands in his. Jaebeom was still trying to register what the foreigner meant. He was rendered speechless while he observed how Mark's gaze softened as he talked to Jinyoung. "But everything will be all right as long as we stick together. By the way, I'll be out with Jae for a while. We're going to stop by the bar, and afterwards, I also plan to go to the apartment, see if Bam is ready to talk." The American placed a kiss on his forehead and put his old mask of pretense on. He used to do that a lot when he started going out with the drug dealer that ruined his life. Cameron slept around and Mark pretended he didn't know about it just to keep him by his side. The American thought those days were gone when he decided to date Jinyoung. But now, he couldn't help but choose to accept the fact that all men were the same. Even his Korean prince. Even the man who made him feel human again. Yet, it didn't matter if the author betrayed his trust, Mark couldn't leave him. He was Jinyoung's victim too, and there was nothing he could do about it. He told himself that he loved him, and that their relationship could survive that little mishap. He just had to be strong. When Jinyoung looked him in the eye, as if to read his emotions, the older let go of his hands and looked away. The author didn’t show any signs of remorse, and he didn’t look like he was about to confess a mortal sin. Being strong was harder than the older thought. He felt a pang in his chest when the Korean eyed him with so much affection. Mark wondered how his boyfriend could do that after having sex with another man. But he had asked himself the same question multiple times when he was with Cameron. He never found an answer for it.

"If you’re going out, I’m coming with. It's not safe out there, I can come with you." Jinyoung said, fearing that perhaps, Jackson’s employees could be waiting for a chance to strike. Now that he had showered and felt much more awake, he wasn’t freaking out about the fact that he slept with JB anymore. He reminded himself that there were more pressing issues to be tackled.

"Stop being paranoid, Jinyoung. No one is gonna attack Mark in broad daylight.” The publicist appeared in the kitchen again ready to go out. “Come on, I’m just going to take your bae away for a while. You’re not jealous, are you?” Youngjae asked playfully, and swiftly pulled Mark by the arm and back hugged him. His dongsaeng had a point, but the author couldn’t help but still feel a little apprehensive, and he had a real reason for it. He knew how Jackson could be unpredictable, and after yesterday, as far as he knew, the Chinese had declared open season on the American.

"Look Jae, he's not supposed to be alone. You heard last night what Jaebeom said about the threats-"

"Hey, quit worrying. I won't be alone. Jia Er won't dare to do anything harsh since I’m in the company of a Choi. Jae might call his aunts to lock up his ass. Just stay here a bit more. I'm gonna need some time alone with Bam anyways. He will be more receptive if you're not there. While I fix things with my best friend, I'll let you spend more quality time with yours, okay? See you at the apartment, later?" Mark unwillingly smiled again, and Jinyoung nodded to him. The author ran a hand through his hair nervously as he watched Youngjae give Jaebeom a kiss and drag Mark out of the house. When Jinyoung and the editor were the only ones left in the kitchen, the writer sighed.

"He's pretending to be okay, but I know he's not. Something is really bothering him, and I’m not talking about his best friend’s outburst last night. I'm sure Bam will come around. I think Mark is clearly worried about what Jack is gonna do next.” Jinyoung declared, mistaking Mark's sadness for concern. Jaebeom wondered if he should defy the American's warning and just tell Jinyoung that his boyfriend knew about what happened between them.

"Jin. We need to talk." Jaebeom stated. He wasn't sure of what happened between him and his best friend on that bed. He was unable to tell why or how it happened, but Mark's words troubled him. Could Jinyoung be entertaining romantic thoughts after that dare? Could his friend still be infatuated with him?

"I know what you’re thinking. But we cannot utter a single word about what happened last night. I just can’t do this to him, not now. There's too much going on. Let’s just forget this and move on with our lives." Jinyoung stated. Jaebeom took a deep breath. 

"Bear with me a little, let's fast forward last night's events one more time, okay? Tell me what you remember after Mark and Jae left us alone drinking in the living room."

"Jackson should be our main concern right now, don't you think?" Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't know how we ended up fucking, and you know what? I really don't care. It meant nothing, it was so insignificant that none of us have any recollection of it. We keep our mouths shut and no one gets hurt. End of story. Can we move on from this topic? Mark is in danger and that's all I care about right now. I ought to see Seunie."

"Jinyoung-ah, I'm not a cheating husband! I need to know why I did it.” Jaebeom sat down on a chair and pulled another one for the impatient younger. “Look, I'll tell you what I remember. You were devastated after you heard about Jack's ultimatum. You complained about how he stopped being the funny, and outgoing guy we knew before Soo left for America. We both talked about how much we appreciated his friendship, how much we always liked to have the old Seunnah back, and how he almost became your brother-in-law....What else?" Jaebeom pressed.

"Do you think he'll ever come to his senses?" Jinyoung asked absentmindedly, as he finally sat down.

"I don't know. But I guess yesterday's mess was fated to happen. After you slapped him, I think he drew his own conclusions regarding who was being deceived in that room. It was only a matter of time before he found out how serious you are about Mark." Jaebeom commented and returned to the main topic. "So, we kept drinking..."

While the two Koreans talked, another pair of best friends also found time to fix their problems. After Mark saw what Youngjae and Bambam were preparing for the bar opening, he asked the publicist to take him directly to Jinyoung's apartment. He felt dejected and frustrated. He needed his best friend at that moment. He knew Bambam wouldn't be easy on him, but he didn't care. As soon as the two arrived, Yugyeom greeted them and told Mark that Bambam was waiting for him in his bedroom. Youngjae stayed with the maknae in the living room while the American went to have a chat with the Thai. When Mark appeared at the youngsters' bedroom door, Bambam raised his eyebrows at him and told him to come in.

"So, who's gonna talk first?" Bambam asked, as he sat on the bed and signaled the older to sit beside him.

"I'm sor-"

"You already apologized last night. Say something different for a change." Bambam cut him off and rolled his eyes at him.

"What you said yesterday…You’re not wrong. I might be making the same mistake, but it's too late." Mark gave his friend a pained look.

"Why would you say that?" Bambam frowned at him. The determination he glimpsed in his friends' eyes last time he saw him seemed to dim.

"You know..." Mark's voice trailed off as he tried not to bring up what he witnessed that morning. "Jin is not dangerous, but Jia Er is another story."

"Hey, do you remember where do we come from? There were guys worse than him in our Neighborhood. Jackson Wang will not intimidate us. He doesn't have enough power to run us out of South Korea. We are staying." Bambam patted his knee and gave him a reassuring look.

"I'm glad to see you so confident." Mark whispered weakly. He didn’t give two fucks about Jackson, but he had to give the younger an excuse for his obvious lack of enthusiasm.

"It's the Kim Yugyeom effect. He's the fuel of my optimism." Bambam grinned from ear to ear.

"I can see that. Remind me to thank him later. I like to see you like this. You're both so in love with each other. I hope it lasts. Coming to this strange country wasn't so bad, right?" Mark swallowed as he realized how gloomy his voice came out.

"Don't be so down. Look, I finally remembered Wang. Yeah, he stopped by 777 Ways a couple of times and whenever he asked about you, I told him to fuck off. I made him some drinks on other occasions, he told some jokes, and he really made the whole bar laugh. He seemed harmless. I believe that even if he starts making threats, he doesn't have the guts to go through with them."

"He won't rest until he gets rid of the man who 'ruined' his Soo Young."

"When you guys mentioned this woman last night I didn't even realize that Wang had talked about her before. Remember our first dinner in this apartment? How he showed his tattoos and talked about his fiancée? Mark, he sat at a table with you, breathed the same air you breathed and he ate the same food you did. If he was a murderer he would have already gotten rid of you. Damn, if I were in his shoes, I would have killed you the moment I laid eyes on you. He doesn't have it in him. He's not a Hara, a Stravos or a Zhou. He's all bark and no bite. You don't have anything to fear from him."

"He tried to poison me at that dinner. Remember the bottle of Kaoliang?" Mark revealed. Bambam looked surprised for a second but waved the older’s concern away.

"Well, just don't accept any drink of food he offers you from now on." The Thai shrugged.

"It's not that simple. He knows stuff about me, about my past. He hired private investigators, he-"

"So what? Jinyoung already knows about the Collector's Case! What could be worse than that?" Bambam asked. Mark thought about the HIV, but didn't dare to mention it. The author knew about that dreary detail too, and for a second the American wondered how the Korean was able to digest all that and start dating him.

"His friends don't, and neither does his family. Bo Young is clearly not a fan of mine, and his parents might-"

"To hell with his friends and his family. You're fucking Jinyoung, not them. It's his opinion that should matter, right? I have to admit that he really stood up for you last night. That slap he landed on Wang's face was priceless. Yugyeom told me that he had never seen his cousin defend someone like he did yesterday. This fact leads me to believe that, perhaps you didn't make a bad choice this time. I mean, I was too shocked to hear about the suicidal sister and the supposed revenge, so I got furious at him. But now that the initial shock dissipated, and after Gyeom assured me that Jinyoung is not the jerk who I thought he was, I think he does love you." Bambam confessed with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, of course he does." Mark replied softly. But his mind already rewound everything he went through after he met the Korean. He wanted to ask his best friend if he would still believe that love was possible between them if he knew the whole story. A voice in his head made him doubt himself. _He went after me in America with one single purpose, deliver me to his Chinese friend. He hunted me. He lured me to his place. He took me in and tried to have sex with me. He threatened to have his way with my best friend. He called me names, he called me China Doll. He knocked me out cold in his penthouse. He kidnapped me and took me to a hotel. After we finally had sex, he pulled a gun at me. If I didn't threaten to tell his cousin about his real intentions in the U.S., he would have left me in LA. He would have left Jia Er send someone else to deal with me. He would leave me for dead. How could love be born from all that? Now he was even fucking his editor! But Jinyoung loves me, right?_

"I bet you're this miserable because the dreadful day is near."

"What do you mean?" Mark’s conflicting thoughts were interrupted by his friends’ odd comment.

"Cameron's monthly visits? Does your boyfriend know about them too?"

"He doesn't have to know. Cam is dead." Mark replied shortly.

"What?! How? When?" Bambam had eyes like saucers.

"A fight with some inmate."

"Hell yeah! The motherfucker is dead! Hallelujah! Shit, Mark. Why didn't you tell me about this before? We have to celebrate!" Bambam clapped his hands in delight.

"I've just heard from Dan a couple of days ago." Mark kept lying as if his life depended on it. He had never heard from Dan after his unfortunate visit to the author’s penthouse in LA. The American was glad the man was gone too.

"What about the Tuans' safety?" The Thai’s excitement dimmed a bit, as he remembered that his friend’s family could be in trouble.

"It's all good. No blackmailer, no danger." The American assured him, and the Thai clapped his hands again, regaining his liveliness.

"How do you feel? Dan is the only one left in your revenge list." Bambam eyed him expectantly. Mark scoffed, knowing too well that Stravos wouldn’t be a problem anymore either. He would’ve laughed at the Thai’s innocence if the word ‘revenge’ hadn’t come out of the younger’s mouth. His friend wasn’t supposed to know about that.

"Revenge list?" Mark furrowed his brows and looked at him in awe.


	38. Dilemma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.”- J. K. Rowling

"Yeah, do I need to spell that?” The Thai rolled his eyes at him. “You know what? Maybe you could think of adding a new name to it. Since he swore to make you his enemy, what about including Jackson Wang in that list of yours? Imagine the irony! He might think he’s the one fucking with you, but at the end of the day, you will be the one who’s fucking with him." A collected Bambam suggested with a smirk.

"Bam, how the heck did you find about the list?!" The American’s eyes widened as he stared at his friend in shock.

"When you came back from the Collector's Case, you had a huge list of names with you. A bunch of names were already crossed. The names Cameron Zhou and Daniel Stravos were just some of them, and they were still uncrossed when left America." The Thai gave him a knowing look. The older gasped.

"Have you been going through my stuff?" Mark didn't look pleased to hear that. The thought of Bambam doing such a thing behind his back made him feel quite apprehensive.

"You never tell me anything. How am I supposed to look after you?" The younger shrugged.

"You're not my bodyguard, Bam. I can take good care of myself." Mark replied shortly, more than just a little unsettled.

"Bullshit. Just tell me the truth. Did you get him killed? You finally had the balls to eliminate your ex from hell?" Bambam asked bluntly. Mark was appalled. The last thing he wanted was to let the younger get involved with that issue, especially because it could have unwanted repercussions later. To preserve his friend's safety, he considered that it would be better to keep him in the dark about that murder. He only told Jinyoung about the deed because he thought he had no choice. For some reason he felt that it was easier to hide things from Bambam than hide things from the Korean.

"I didn't... How would I be able to do that? We are in Korea and I have no money-"

"Your family is filthy rich, Mark. Have you contacted JT? I know that if you really had to reach for someone in your family it would be-"

"No! Bam, I don't keep in contact with any of my relatives. You know how risky it is! Believe me, Cam's death has nothing to do with me, or my family." A nervous Mark insisted.

"Don't you think it's more than a mere coincidence the fact that Cameron is out of your way now that you're seriously dating someone else?" Bambam raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well, coincidence or not, I'm happy that I am done being his bitch. We should definitely drink to that later." Mark stated acerbically. He just hoped that his new boyfriend wouldn’t disappoint him even more. The American would hate to think that he was now Jinyoung’s bitch.

"And the lies keep coming…You think you're protecting me when you deny me the truth? You just hurt our friendship when you do that. You keep things to yourself, and you let them pile up, even though you know they’re like a goddamn ticking bomb. You do know that sooner or later they will end up blowing up in your face. Why did I have to find about this suicidal woman you met in college through a stranger?" Bambam retorted, with a seriousness that Mark rarely sensed in his voice.

"Listen, my relationship with Park Soo Young was a long time ago. She showed up in my life even before you did. I know that the moment I found out who Jinyoung was, and learned about this revenge, I should have told you. But I didn't think it was extremely necessary at the time." Mark insisted, unable to justify his customary imperative silence. He always kept from his friend whatever information that could put the Thai in danger, but he was aware that Bambam would never understand that.

"Oh, don't give me that! You really didn't think it was necessary to let me know that her brother wanted to bring us to Korea in order to make you meet her fiancé, who has probably been brainstorming ideas of how to cut off your balls in the most painful way?!" The Thai made a face at the older.

"Bam, Jinyoung changed his mind before we came here. A lot of things happened between us in LA. I can tell you all of it now, if you at least give me a chance to explain it.” Mark paused and sighed in frustration. “Actually, I don't know where to start. I would have to explain to you the reason why Jia Er blames me for the suicide of his pregnant fiancée."

"Perhaps it has something to do with the HIV?" Bambam cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms and legs.

"Bam." Mark gasped, and blinked several times. Panic was plastered on his face.

"It's okay, don’t have a stroke yet. I googled those pills of yours a few years ago when I found them in our bathroom cabinet. Do you really think I bought that story about vitamin deficiency? I can tell when you're lying to me. We were roommates for quite some time, Mark, and I am not a child." Bambam said, ignoring the older's agitation.

"And you didn't say anything, you didn't even confront me at the time-"

"I know why you wanted to keep it a secret. So I did the same. I might not be your damn bodyguard, but you can at least consider me your sidekick/life saver." Bambam shook his head and added, "Now who do you think that delivered your pills to the Collector's Case? Who do you think that convinced the frightening Ito Hara that if you didn't take your 'vitamins' you would end up dead?"

"You went to the Case and talked to Hara?" Mark was agape. At that moment, he realized that he wasn’t so smart as he thought, and that his friend wasn’t as gullible as he hoped he was. He realized something more, he wasn’t the only one with secrets.

"Don't look so impressed. I didn't have to try too hard. I told him that his most valuable asset would go to waste if its treatment was interrupted. I just had to speak his language. He got the message. I'm not such a useless friend, you see." Bambam said smugly.

"Bammie, I-I'm so sor-"

"Quit saying that! I don't want your apologies. I'm sick of them." The younger exhaled, but he was incapable of getting really angry at the American.

"Wow! I am really pathetic, aren’t I? I didn't mean to take you for granted, but I still made you feel that way. The truth is I always needed you more than you needed me. How can you be friends with such a loser?" Mark gave him a dejected look.

"Beats me." Bambam scoffed and gave him a wry smile. "But you know what? As long as you acknowledge the insurmountable meaning I have in your life, you are forgiven." The Thai relaxed and kicked the older's leg playfully. Mark finally smiled a bit.

"That means Jin can come back to his apartment? You promise you won't use him as a punching bag?" The American asked, just to make sure his friend wouldn't mention anything about going back to America again.

"I decided to give him a second chance to prove himself. That slap he gave Wang couldn't be just acting, right? Plus, it's safe to say I won't be here when he comes back. Gyeom and I are finally moving out." Bambam informed the American in a casual tone.

"You're leaving us? Is it because I-"

"Nah, stop right there. I don't resent you for anything, okay? But my boyfriend got a job at an Entertainment Company. According to him, he's too old to be a trainee, so the best opportunity he found at this place called JYP was becoming a supporting dancer/dance coach." Bambam declared with a tinge of mischievousness in his eyes. The older didn't notice that tiny detail in his body language.

"Wait a minute, Yugyeom got a job?" Mark was even more astonished by that unexpected event.

"Yep! He’s not just a rich kid who live off his family’s wealth anymore. He's ready to be a responsible member of society. We are aware that dancing has always been his dream, right? But even though he won't become an idol, as he planned initially, he’s quite excited to start his job at this company. It took me a while to convince him to untie himself from his cousin's apron strings, but as you can imagine, what Kunpimook Bhuwakul wants, he gets it! Jinyoung can thank me later for finally getting him out of this apartment. Now Yuggie is an emancipated giant baby with his own place and a proper occupation." Bambam's grin was large, as the older’s bafflement doubled.

"Gosh. I was so absorbed in my own shit that I didn’t even ask you about your plans here in Korea! I’m always the one bothering you with my relationship drama, and every time we sit down to talk, we never get to discuss about your love life. Damn, I’m such a crappy friend!”

“Yes, you are.” Bambam snorted. The older chewed on his lips.

“By the way, is this JYPE Company far from here?" Mark sounded anxious.

"It's in a far away provincial city called Na-Namyangju, I guess. He bought a place for us to live there. Unfortunately, I don't think you and I will be seeing each other much. I'm afraid you're gonna have to run the bar by yourself from now on. But I'm sure you will be able to manage it without me." Bambam informed him, and Mark's heart squeezed in his chest. He was happy for his friend, but he felt tempted to ask him not to go. He couldn't believe that they would part ways so soon. Not now that he was going through such an internal turmoil due to his boyfriend's unfaithfulness. He really needed his best friend near him at that moment. He didn't know how he would cope without his priceless advices and his admirable resilience. The American was aware that they would still be in the same country, and he knew Yugyeom would take good care of the Thai, but it pained Mark to realize that Bambam had found someone who made him put everything aside, including their long lasting friendship. They would still be seeing each other, obviously, but the distance between them would certainly put a strain on their bond. He wished he could tell the Thai all that, but he refused to be selfish, therefore, he didn't dare to complain or mention any of those thoughts.

"Bam, I don't know what to say." Mark said, already crying inside.

"Congratulate us." Bambam made a comical face at him.

"Congrats." Mark breathed out, and then swallowed. Bambam could almost see through him.

“We never know the value of what we have until it’s gone, right?” The Thai asked mercilessly, and he didn’t fail to notice the guilt in the older’s eyes.

“I never undervalued our friendship.” Mark muttered sorrowfully, and looked away.

"Do you wanna see our place?" A suddenly animated Bambam asked out of the blue as he stood up. Mark wondered if the Thai knew how much those news devastated him. He wanted the younger to know that he felt like he was about to lose a limb. He wished his friend could see how much he meant to him.

"What, now?" 

"Yeah. I have the keys with me." Bambam said as he took the keys from his pocket.

"Wait, are we gonna take the train, a bus, or something like that? I mean, I should tell Jin first-"

"No need. Follow me." Bambam cut him off and dragged him out of the room. They went downstairs and found no sign of Youngjae and Yugyeom in the living room. 

"Bam, how far is this place? How long does it take to get there? Will I be able to get back here in time for dinner? Shouldn't I pack a change of clothes?" A puzzled Mark asked as they exited the apartment. As soon as they closed the door behind them, Bambam used a key to open the door of the apartment across from Jinyoung's.

"What are you doing?" Mark furrowed his brows as he watched his friend insert the key in the door lock without any trouble.

"Showing you my new place." The Thai grinned and opened the door wide.

"Surprise!" Yugyeom exclaimed excitedly and pulled Mark inside the apartment. The American was flabbergasted. The maknae chuckled at the older's amazement. "Good job Bammie, he clearly fell for it. Hyung is rendered speechless." 

"I just found out minutes ago. Believe me, I'm just as surprised as you are." Youngjae commented as he met Mark's thunderstruck gaze.

"Is this a prank?" The American managed to ask.

"Hell, yeah! Actually, I thought it would be a fail the moment I started stammering. I could barely pronounce Namyangju, but you still didn't suspect anything." Bambam explained nonchalantly, as he observed his friend's curious eyes survey the room.

"Geez, I don't think he's properly convinced that you two moved out, but will still be able to see each other every day." Youngjae chuckled.

"I don't understand." Mark whispered, as he eyed the Thai in confusion. Then Yugyeom decided to make things crystal clear for him.

"We are neighbors, bro." The maknae beamed at him. "The previous owner of this place got a job offer overseas. He sold us the place with everything inside. Welcome to YugBam's humble lair."

"What about the new job and moving far away from here?" The American's hope seemed to return with that new information.

"JYP Entertainment is here in Seoul, you silly. YG and I are not leaving this city. After all, I have a bar and a foolish friend to look after. Let's not forget that there's a deranged Chinese at loose. I cannot take off like that, I'm your bulletproof vest." Bambam replied, patting him in the back. Youngjae made an uncomfortable noise after Bambam mentioned his boss, but he made no comment about it. Yugyeom didn't seem to care about the way his boyfriend regarded Jackson, or he just pretended he didn't hear that. 

"With you around, I have nothing to fear from Wang Jia Er, bro." A relieved Mark high-fived the Thai and ruffled his hair. His friend's support made him feel somewhat sheltered, even though a storm brewed within him since that morning. That menacing storm had nothing to do with the fear of the kind of danger Jackson Wang could present to his existence. No, it had nothing do with it. That storm was the result of what his eyes could not bear to behold for more than a few seconds hours earlier. The image of the editor and the writer together in bed was permanently seared into his mind. Even after he left Jaebeom's house, his thoughts were polluted by that unsavory sight. It wouldn't to go away, and his anguish refused to subside. Mark couldn't help but ponder the repercussions of the previous night. Would he lose the one who infused brighter days and broader daylight in his path? Would his prince turn into a fraud he would come to despise? Would his being sink once more in darkness and drown in blight? He could easily guess those answers, but he prayed he wasn't right.

"Does Jinyoung know about this?" Youngjae asked, as he threw himself on a comfortable couch in the living room. The very sound of that name made the American sigh. He wondered if Bam and Gyeom had a spare bedroom. He thought that he might need their hospitality once Jinyoung realized that they had no future, and that JB was the one for him. Mark could foresee Jaebeom's inability to keep his unfaithfulness a secret. He could predict Youngjae's unforgiving reaction. That marriage could end at any moment, and once it did, Jaebeom would be free, and Jinyoung would perhaps, invest on pursuing his old flame again. Mark told himself that he wasn't being pessimistic, he was just looking at things objectively. Would Jinyoung rather keep an HIV positive partner with a wicked past in his life, or finally grab the chance he always dreamed and have the perfectly dependable Lim Jaebeom by his side? Mark thought that the answer was obvious. The words Jackson's shouted at the party echoed in his head. The American figured that Jinyoung now could do more than tell the difference between kissing a decent man and a dirty whore. Hell, the author could even tell how fucking a decent man was safer, uncomplicated, and undoubtedly more convenient than being with a China Doll. Mark imagined that the success of their relationship had atrociously decreased after yesterday. He felt he needed to do something about the present situation, before he lost Jinyoung forever.

"Not at all. But I'll surely inform him that although we won't be in his apartment, we'll still regularly supervise the development of his relationship with my best friend." The Thai announced, and Mark rolled his eyes at him. The American was secretly grateful for Bambam's subtle 'guardianship' but he wouldn't admit it to his face. 

"Exactly, we have to be around in order to keep an eye on my stupid cousin. MarkJin's love must be protected." Yugyeom added, and the older couldn’t help but pinch the younger’s cheeks. For a moment, Mark did think he was the cutest giant baby alive.

"Exactly. He’d better behave, because I’m gonna be watching him very closely." Bambam pointed out in a firm tone.

"Wow! You should call this two the MarkJin squad from now on, Mark.” Youngjae giggled.

“I’m overwhelmed by all the support, I truly do. But Jin and I can manage things by ourselves, okay?” The American said, waving the maknaes concerns away. However, deep down, he wasn’t so sure he could manage the despondency which spread like a malignant tumor in his chest.

“Don’t pretend you’re not happy to have me around.” Bambam eyed him nonchalantly and crossed his arms.

“I am ecstatic. I’m forever grateful for your companionship. You're not going to ever abandon me, are you?" Mark chewed on his lips. Even if his boyfriend left him for the charming editor, he would be all right, wouldn't he? Kunpimook Bhuwakul was there for him, wasn't he? 

"Are you kidding? No fucking way." The Thai winked at him and a relieved smile crept to his face. The young couple then started showing their very first guests the place around. Yugyeom and his boyfriend exulted happiness, and even before they finished to see every single room of the apartment, Youngjae and Mark were sure that YugBam's lair was already a lovely home.

Meanwhile, a trio was reunited in the main office of Team Wang Publishing Co.. There was no prank involved in that meeting, and the conversation taking place there was far from being carefree.

"Will you guys please leave? I have a meeting in one hour. There's nothing else to discuss. I'm a busy man, so if you don't mind." Jackson stated coldly as he pointed to the door. Jinyoung had barged in his office half a minute ago to question him about how he intended to handle phase 2 of the revenge. The writer told him that he was not calling the cops, but if Mark was harmed in any way he would do what it was necessary to make him pay. Jackson refused to talk to him. He didn't even look at him. The bruise Bambam left on his nose was still there, but the mark of Jinyoung's slap had faded. The physical injury the author inflicted on him was visibly gone, but the real wound that punctured Jackson's soul was invisible to the naked eye. Jinyoung had double-crossed him for Mark's sake. That was the genuine low blow of the previous night. Not only Soo Young was stolen from him, but his former brother-in-law had also been poisoned by his target. Jackson could not let himself be appeased by Jinyoung's supplication. He would not allow the author to get in his way. Since they were in his company, and he was the boss there, Jackson had no qualms in behaving professionally and rejecting any topic unrelated to work. Although he gave Jinyoung the cold shoulder, the CEO still responded to the employee sitting across from him. The editor Lim Jaebeom was there too, trying his best to mediate the situation.

"Seunnah, you have to come to your senses, what you said yesterday-"

"Jaebeom-ssi, I was probably drunk yesterday, but I meant every single word I said. If you are not here to hand me your resignation letter, you can go back to work." The Chinese cut him off, as he stood up from his chair and buttoned his suit. The editor sighed in frustration. That day started really bad, and it was just getting worse. There were many concerns eating at him. A wave of infinite bad luck assaulted his surroundings since the moment he woke up. There were threats coming from all sides. The attitudes of Mark Tuan and Jackson Wang were gravely wearing him down. They both demanded difficult actions from him, and if he made the wrong choice, he could lose his job, his husband, and his friends all at once.

"Jackson, stop ignoring me! You can't pretend I am not here. I know you're mad, okay! I know you think you lost SooYoung because of him, I know you think you lost me! But you didn't! I'm still here and I didn't betray you. I'm just trying to make you see that he's not the monster you think he is! I love him and he loves me back. Losing him now would hurt me as much as I hurt when my sister passed. Please, if you ever had any sort of appreciation for me, just let it go. I beg of you, hyung." Jinyoung pleaded, but the Chinese silently disregarded his request and only focused on Jaebeom.

"Before you leave, take your weak and pitiful dongsaeng out of here, and inform him that if he's seeking absolution, he should look for a priest. There's no mercy for him in this room. This is not a freakin' church, I'm not wearing a goddamned cassock, and I have no penance to give him. This is the fucking company that published his bestsellers. Tell him to show this place some respect and go back to his writing. He can thank me for honoring the memory of his sister after I'm done with his despicable so-called boyfriend." Jackson pressed, as he gave Jaebeom a hard stare. The editor ran a hand through his hair and sighed in exasperation for the hundredth time. Jinyoung hit his fist against the Chinese's table in order to get his attention.

"Jackson-ah!" Jinyoung shouted this time, but the Chinese only turned his gaze to the door, and the person who had suddenly opened it.

"Keep you voice down, Park Jinyoung! What's wrong with you?!" Bo Young scolded her brother as she entered the room quite dressed up.

"Noona?" A startled Jinyoung turned around to face his older sister. She had an embarrassed expression on her face when she saw Jaebeom standing there.

"I should apologize for my behavior yesterday at your house. I shouldn't have drank so much. I'm really sorry for the disturbance I caused, Jaebeom-ssi." She said as she approached the editor. He simply shook his head at her, indicating that she was not to blame for the mess at Nora's birthday party. Her outburst was just the tip of the iceberg. After all, Jackson was still the one who crossed the line first when he started to spout insults in the middle of his living room.

"Will you excuse us? Like I said, I'm a very busy man. Bo Young-ssi and I have to be somewhere. We're late." Jackson announced guiltlessly.

"Oh, I can already imagine the kind of business you two have to take care of. I bet your important meeting will take place in an expensive hotel room! That's how you plan to honor your fiancée's memory? By going out with her married sister? By turning her against her own brother? Shame on you, Jackson Wang. I don't know who you are anymore. I shouldn't have come. I'm wasting my time here." Jinyoung said harshly and stormed out of the room. His sister called after him, but he didn't come back. Jaebeom gave Jackson a sad look. The editor could see that Jinyoung's words did affect him.

"What are you still doing here? Aren't going to console your poor best friend and let him cry on your shoulder?" The Chinese spat.

"Is that what you want me to do?" JB inquired. Jackson said nothing.

"Jaebeom, don't let my brother get the wrong idea. Jackson is not turning me against him. I love my dongsaeng, but he's not being very smart right now. Jinyoungie is the one who's being manipulated by the same person who caused SooYoung's downfall. He's just another victim of the same evil." Bo young said, as she gave the editor an worried look. "Look after him for me, will you? All of this will be over soon. If he's as in love as he says he is, he's gonna need a friend who he can count on when the time comes."

Jaebeom's astounded eyes travelled from Jackson to the woman now beside him. He opened his mouth to say something in response, but no words came from his mouth. He felt utterly disgusted. The venom was in the air. He just couldn't stand being in that room anymore. Therefore, he left.

Jaebeom caught up with the writer outside of the building of Team Wang, but the younger was not in a talkative mood anymore. Jinyoung told the editor he needed to be alone. Neither of them had figured out how they had ended up having sex the night before, even though they tried for hours to recall the events which led them to get undressed and do the deed on that bed. Jinyoung told his friend that he wouldn’t discuss about that subject anymore, and that that topic was dead to him. Jaebeom didn’t argue with him. After that fruitless ‘chat’ with Jackson, he thought that his dongsaeng did need a break. After they parted ways, the author drove to Seoul Forest, the large ecologic park that Soo Young used to cherish. He went there to calm his mind and try not to think of anything that bothered him for a couple of minutes. He turned his cellphone off, sat on a bench, focused on the sound of the nature surrounding him and closed his eyes. He only realized how much time he spent there when two security guards approached him to inform that they were already closing the park. The writer suddenly thought of his boyfriend and hurried home. When Jinyoung arrived at his place, the sun had already disappeared from the sky. The lights were all out when he stepped into his apartment, but as soon as he crossed the living room, he noticed unusual sparks of light coming from the dining room.


	39. Acting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes there is something mean living in me and this mean thing gets a sick pleasure from harsh punishment and frightening imagery about who I am or what I should do." ~Jenny Slate

"Mark?" He asked as he walked into the room. There were candles in every corner of it. The sight mesmerized Jinyoung. The table was set, and covered by fresh rose petals, but there was no food on it. A swiftly movement in the darkness distracted him, but it was only his boyfriend who came into the room, wearing nothing. The Korean gasped as his eyes scanned him up and down. The shadows of the candle lights danced in his round dark orbs, as the American slowly walked to him.

"I missed you." Mark whispered to the writer as he stopped in front of him and ran his hands along his arms.

"Me too." Jinyoung whispered back as he observed the older's fingers start to unbutton his shirt. "What's all this?" The younger asked as he pointed to the candles.

"There's one candle for every day we've been together. Actually, I started counting from the day you showed up at my shabby apartment in LA looking for Gyeom. Even though we weren't a couple yet, I like to think that our story began right there. You see, there isn't many candles now, but I hope we can fill more than a room with them someday." Mark said in a low tone, as he started to distribute kisses all over his neck and shoulder. The Korean closed his eyes as he heard those overwhelming words. His boyfriend's gesture was highly romantic, and after that dreadful, having him so close was all he needed. He wished he had come home earlier. He felt like an idiot for wasting so many hours away from the older. Every single second he spent away from Mark, was a second carelessly squandered. Although he felt like he didn't deserve Mark's love, he would never risk losing it by letting the older know about whatever happened between him and Jaebeom. Since he didn't remember how it happened, he told himself that there was no use feeling guilty about it. He concluded that whatever it was, it was so meaningless that the act was erased from his mind. He couldn't think of Jaebeom now, he wouldn't think of Jackson's threats either. He had the most beautiful man right there in front of him, pampering him with love and sweet words, and he wouldn’t dare to focus on anything else but him. The dim, flickery light of the candles provided them a sexy ambiance. It left just enough darkness to wash out their surroundings, allowing them to be even more drawn to each other.

"What's giving off this peachy scent?" Jinyoung asked as Mark removed his shirt and threw it on the floor.

"They are scented candles. Do you like it?" Mark smiled at him as he caressed his the younger’s firm abs.

"I love it. Thank you for welcoming me home like this. I really dig the outfit by the way. You look amazing in your birthday suit. I totally approve it. Actually, if it wasn’t for the kids, I wouldn’t mind to have you walking around the apartment everyday just like this." Jinyoung whispered a he pulled Mark to him and wrapped his arms around his delicate bare waist. His skin felt warm and inviting to his touch. The older blushed and chewed on his lips.

"Don't you think the candlelight dinner thing is a bit corny?" Mark asked sheepishly, as his boyfriend's hands squeezed his sensitive buttocks.

"Believe me baby, there's nothing corny about this. Look what you did to me." Jinyoung whispered sexily, as he pressed his hips against him, letting the other know how turned on he already was. The American made a satisfied sound when he felt the younger's clothed erection poke his crotch.

"How was your day?" Mark asked tenderly, as he buried his fingers in Jinyoung's soft silky dark hair. The Korean caressed his sides and tried to concentrate on what his lover was asking. Having the older so close and completely unclad disoriented him.

"Crappy. Only you could make it all better. This is the best part of my day, coming back home to you." Jinyoung whispered as he captured his lover's mouth and kissed him deeply. The American responded to the kiss with the same fervour while unbuttoning and unzipping the younger's pants.

“Wait, I don’t wanna be inconsiderate, babe. I’d love to ravish you right now, but the table is all set and I would hate to ignore the fact that you cooked dinner for us.” Jinyoung unwillingly broke the kiss and stared at his boyfriend with a mix of lust and affection in his eyes.

“Be considerate and just hold me, Nyoungie.” Mark pulled the Korean to him again just to purr against his ear, and lick his earlobe. The suggestive act sent shivers down the younger’s spine.

"All right. Don’t go anywhere, just let me get the lube upstairs." The Korean murmured, but when he moved to leave the room, the American shook his head and held him in place. He gave his boyfriend another tender kiss, signalled him not to move and walked to the table.

"There's no need to. I've already took care of that. I'm all stretched, and marinated for you. Every single limb of mine is yours to consume. Come here and devour your prey. I’m the only dish on your menu tonight, Nyoungie. Dinner is served." Mark said provocatively as he sat on the edge of the table, spread his tantalizing legs open and revealed his pink and lubbed hole to the younger. He slowly inserted one finger in his mouth just to coat it with a bit of saliva and travelled it all the way down to his entrance. Jinyoung swallowed as he watched the older finger himself. His boyfriend's invitation and 'supper' presentation was so steamy that he couldn't help but feel hypnotized by him. Even moving from the spot he was felt troublesome.

Mark threw all the silverware on the floor, and beckoned the younger to 'dig in'. Jinyoung was so amazed by his boyfriend's power of seduction, that he felt like he could climax by just observing how the American played with himself. His underpants were already wet with precum when Mark reached for one of the candles that was placed on a chair and started dripping hot wax on his nipples. Only then the younger seemed to awake from his trance. An alarmed Jinyoung immediately run to stop his lover from hurting himself.

"What are you doing?! You're gonna scald yourself. Are you crazy? Taking you to a hospital to treat a third degree burn is not romantic at all, babe." The worried Korean said firmly as he grabbed his wrist and took the candle from his hand just to place it back on the chair. Mark just chuckled at his concerned expression.

"Relax. It’s a special massage candle, Nyoungie. The wax doesn’t get too hot and it melts into a pool of oil that feels nice on the skin. It's harmless, and erotic. Won't you give me a nice massage, huh?" Mark said in his most orgasmic bedroom voice as he completely laid on his back and wrapped his slender legs around the Korean's waist. A famished Jinyoung groaned and quickly got rid of his pants and underwear.

"What a rich banquet you prepared for me, Markie. Let me show you how thankful I am." Jinyoung said sexily, as he leaned on him and started to massage his boyfriend's chest with the oil from the candle. Mark moaned whenever the younger's hands paid too much attention to his nipples, and groin. His back arched, and his hands grew white from fisting the tablecloth underneath him when Jinyoung's fingers slid down to his inner thighs and swiftly teased his tip now and then.

"Did you know how much time I spent touching myself while thinking of you, Nyoungie? I'm all loose and wet down there. You can just put it in, and take what's yours. Taste me until you can’t get enough of me. Fuck me to your hearts’ content. Bon appetite." Mark said in a sultry voice. He mewled as he lost himself in the author's meticulous foreplay. Jinyoung responded with a deep groan. They both enjoyed basking in the alluring glow of the candlelight, and the younger aimed to prolong that moment as much as he could. He liked to behold his food, before taking a piece of it, munching on it and swallowing it up. Mark's aroused body glowed like a fine marble sculpture as the younger explored, caressed, rubbed, tortured, and massaged every inch of his pores with the skin-friendly oil that melted from the candle. Jinyoung wasn't satisfied with only touching the exposed flesh being fed to him. He spread love bites all over it. His teeth, tongue and lips feasted on all of Mark. He never felt so hungry for someone before.

“Oh, I’ll do that. I'm gonna eat you whole, baby. But I'm going for the entrée first. I'm gonna suck your delicious dick, until you pour me some juice. Moan for me, lover.” Jinyoung announced as he enveloped the older's bonner with his mouth. Finally, his lover's hands unclenched their hold on the tablecloth and a gasp escaped his throat as he laid on his elbows and watched his boyfriend blow him. He was obviously more than turned on by the sight, the way the Korean’s perfect mouth engorged his length made him writhe with pleasure. The author passionately bobbed his head up and down, nonstop, and his boyfriend would’ve finished in his mouth if he didn’t have another idea in mind. He surely wanted the Korean to keep going down on him, but he wanted something else more. He yearned to be penetrated by him.

"Please, I wanna come with you buried deep into me." Mark begged, and he didn't have to ask twice. Jinyoung's mouth released his hard dick immediately, and leaned on him for a kiss. The older could taste his own precum on Jinyoung’s mouth. He bucked his hips when the younger's fingers prodded his entrance. Two fingers entered him at once, and as soon as the Korean confirmed that Mark indeed was quite loose and that he had been previously lubricated, he rammed his dick into him. He thrust hard and deep, like his boyfriend enjoyed it. The erotic whimpers and moans released by the older never failed to drive Jinyoung to the edge. When the older bent his legs up to his chest, a highly aroused Jinyoung grabbed his ankles and entered him deeper. Mark rolled his hips around him, while his hole clamped and undulated in an attempt to milk his lover of his seed. The sound of Jinyoung's lower abdomen and testicles rhythmically strikingly his buttocks enhanced the sensation of being fully possessed by him. As his squeals of exhilaration increased, the Korean held both his legs up to the air and pumped into his hole with more urgency and eagerness.

"Fuck, baby. You're so hot and tight inside. Do you feel me moving inside you? I’m so near. I'm getting home, my love. I'm coming for you." Jinyoung announced as Mark started pumping his erection again and while clenching around the younger's thick throbbing dick.

"Yes, Jin. I can feel you close. Plant your love within me. Fill me with it. Let it spread all around me." Mark panted as he felt his orgasm build up. Jinyoung's thrusts stroked his prostate skilfully and the mind-blowing sensation set his whole body on fire. The Korean was already at his limit, as he powerfully pushed in and out of Mark, savouring the warm feeling of his gentle walls. The younger could feel his balls tighten hard and his cum pulsate up his dick.

"Oh, fuck! I'm home, baby." Jinyoung exclaimed as he strongly grabbed his lover's convulsing hips, slammed his dick hard into him and held still, while he shoot his seed into his lover's anus. Mark panted under him, also about to reach his peak. The feeling of Jinyoung's cum sitting deep inside him and slowly leaking out of his ass was incredibly gratifying.

"Welcome home, Nyoungie." A euphoric Mark whispered, just before Jinyoung brushed his hands away from his own erection and jerked him off faster. The movements of his boyfriend’s hands soon forced spurts of sperm to come out of the American’s tip. Jinyoung didn’t stop stroking him until he was completely empty.

“I love you, baby. I want you to be my home forever.” The Korean whispered to him, and only then pulled his penis out of him. Mark moaned weakly when he felt his boyfriend’s cock withdraw from him, leaving a trail of cum between his legs. He knew he had to get up from that table before he ruined the tablecloth with the substance leaking from his ass, but Jinyoung’s words kept him from moving. The younger leaned on, spread sweet kisses all over his body and whispering Korean sweet nothings to him. The American could’t understand them, but he could grasp the meaning of those soothing sounds. Mark stayed silent. He didn’t say he loved him back. The desperate love, the insurmountable need, and the hunger he felt for the younger still assaulted his body and mind, but he felt that it was useless to voice those feelings, so he just laid there trying to regain his breath. His heart still raced as he heard Jinyoung say how much he adored him, while touching him with so much tenderness, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it back at that moment. Not after yesterday night. Not after what he saw that morning. The Korean gently pulled the exhausted American to him, and carried him in his arms to their bedroom upstairs, after putting out all the flames of the candles around the dinning room. He knew they’d have a mess to clean up the next morning, but he didn’t care. Jinyoung imagined that Mark was too tired after the sex, and he wanted to put him to bed. The American had become too quiet after they were done with ‘dinner’ so he just assumed the other was sleepy. When he reached their room and laid Mark on their bed, the American’s eyes were already closed, but he had no idea that his lover was secretly awake. Mark pretended to sleep as he submit himself to his boyfriend’s methodical aftercare.

The Korean brought a wet towel from the bathroom and gently cleaned him up, getting rid of the multiple layers of sweat, come and oil that decorated his skin. The younger even cleaned up between his legs, getting rid of the semen dripping from there. The fabric of the towel felt too kind against Mark’s body, Jinyoung’s hands were too soft on him. Everything seemed perfect. That night should be perfect, but it wasn’t. Mark was unable to voice his ‘I love you’ to the Korean. He felt like crying, but he didn’t. He had to bury a sob deep within him when he felt the younger kiss his forehead, cover both their bodies with a blanket, whisper a soft ‘sleep well, my sleeping beauty’ in his ear, and snuggle against him. It hurt Mark not to tell how much he loved him, but what hurt the American even more was doubting all of his boyfriends’ lovely gestures and words. He truly hoped Jinyoung had found a home in him, because if he hadn't, the American was sure the younger would knock on somebody else's door sooner or later. 

He had read somewhere that sex and candlelight was a nice mix for a romantic night. Mark aimed to make his boyfriend emotionally and sexually satisfied in that relationship. He was going to make an effort to keep things fresh. He spent the whole afternoon researching on the Internet ways to keep a man faithful, and committed to a relationship. He felt ridiculously dumb doing that kind of thing, but he still did it. He felt that he needed some guidance, and he couldn't ask for Bambam's help this time because he knew the younger would probably suggest something over the top, like some sort of hardcore BDSM play. Mark knew that the author wasn't into that extreme kind of fun, so he had to look for some tips somewhere else. He hoped Google offered him the answers he needed. Since he had never dealt with a man like Jinyoung, he wondered if he was doing things right to make their daily routine pleasant. He wondered if he was to blame for Jinyoung’s cheating. He wondered if his body was not enough to satisfy his boyfriend’s desires. He compared himself to Jaebeom and wondered what the editor could offer the author that he couldn’t. Mark didn’t have much dating experience. What he had with Zhou obviously was not ideal. Cameron was never the intellectual, polite, and sensitive kind of guy. Mark only had to put up with the beatings and the cheating to make the drug dealer obsess over him. That wasn't healthy nor right, but that's how it happened. Or perhaps, that was just how Mark perceived things back then. And that was the longest relationship he had with someone, if he could call that a relationship at all.

Mark found several tips online that could be useful to him. According to WikiHow, being bold and adventurous in the bedroom was one of the strategies that could be used to spice up a couple's sex life. However, the American was aware that he shouldn't exaggerate in the ‘spice’, since his lover wasn't so open minded. He remembered learning some bizarre tricks at the Collector's Case, but he would never dare to speak of it nor try it on the Korean. It made him sick to the stomach even considering it.

The website pointed out another important thing that one should keep in mind to make his man happy, and that was managing one's jealousy level. Mark already knew that. Letting the green-eyed monster get the best of him would be the quickest way to blow his relationship with the author. But he was doing well so far, he was even able to keep his jealousy in check that morning when he saw his boyfriend in another man's bed. He just had to keep restraining himself whenever he saw Jaebeom around Jinyoung. Mark believed that swallowing his pride, hiding his disappointment and forgiving the younger, were essential to secure his place in Jinyoung's life. However, if after all his endeavours, he failed to keep the Korean by his side, he would not hesitate to add one more name to what Bambam called, his 'revenge list'. After all, the American didn't travel all the way to South Korea to be made a fool. He thought he was going to face the one who wanted him dead, but he ended up finding someone who wanted him alive. One that made him feel hopeful and taken care of. He decided that if that hope, or that care was taken from him, he wouldn't think twice about robbing something from someone else too. Jaebeom was already warned. Mark made obvious threats in the editor's kitchen. The Neighbourhood he lived for many years taught him that no disloyalty should go unpunished. Innocent people often got caught in the crossfire, and that couldn't be helped. Mark took that street law to the heart, and applied it whenever he felt it was necessary, or whenever he refused to be victimized. Jaebeom should take him serious and not be careless, Jinyoung should be a good boyfriend and stop cheating. He figured that he wasn't asking for much. When sleep genuinely hit him, Mark had already made up his mind. If he didn't get what he wanted, heads would literally roll. Yes, he was that petty, and he didn't feel bad for thinking that way. Not at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jinyoung woke up the next morning with another pleasant surprise. His dick was being serviced by his lover's hot mouth. Mark happened to be under the covers, between his legs, using him as a lollipop for breakfast. He smiled with indescribable satisfaction when he pulled up the blanket covering them and looked down his body. He moaned as he watched how deep the older's head was buried in his crotch.

"Ah, good morning." He whispered to the American, who lifted up his head to look at him but still managed to keep half of the younger's hard dick in his mouth. That gaze did it for him. Jinyoung came fast into Mark's mouth with a loud groan. The older swallowed all his cum, and finally released the younger's cock.

"Good fucking morning, Nyoungie." Mark replied as he licked his lips and climbed on top of the Korean to kiss his mouth. "I'd offer some cappuccino, but I already swallowed it all up." He added with a naughty smile. Jinyoung grinned and pulled him for another kiss. When they broke the kiss, Mark sat on his thighs and eyed the Korean with desire.

"That was a nice way to wake up. How about I give something back? I must repay this fabulous favor. Since last night you've been so generous. Let me make you feel good too, babe." Jinyoung suggested as he groped Mark's half-hard dick and gave it a gentle squeeze. The American took his hands off him and shook his head.

"I have something else in mind." he said with a wicked smile on his lips.

"Go ahead, tell me what you want. I'm fine with anything!” Jinyoung hurried to say, as he caressed his lover's thighs. 

“Really? So you won't mind if I shoot you with a bunch of tranquilizers til you resemble a corpse and then I have my way with your body?" Mark asked abruptly, raising an eyebrow at him. Jinyoung blinked a few times and frowned, as if he tried to read his lover's mind.

"You mean, like roleplaying?" The Korean asked, a bit uncertain.

"Yeah, let's role-play." Mark winked at him, and added in a mischievous tone. "But I'm the one on top in this little fantasy of ours. I dominate you."

"You want me to be on the receiving end?" Jinyoung made a face, but did not refuse the suggestion right away.

"You're hot when you bottom." Mark whined.

"You're dangerous when you top." Jinyoung reminded him, still hesitant.

"I thought you said you're fine with anything!" A disappointed Mark pouted and started to climb off him.

"Okay, okay." Jinyoung breathed out, pulling Mark back to him. The older gave him a quizzical stare.

"Are you sure? The last time I was inside you-"

"It's fine. I was inexperienced at the time and we weren't as communicative as we are now." Jinyoung blushed. "We can try this again, maybe with real lube now, lots of it." Jinyoung said in a determined tone. His words unfortunately weren't very well received by Mark.

"What do you mean? You're not inexperienced anymore? Has anyone been giving you tips of how to bottom like a champ? Who's been fucking your ass? Surely, it's not me." The American's tone was serious now. Jinyoung swallowed and tried to fix the mess quickly.

"Babe, babe I just meant that you were the first guy who ever topped me. Come on, I had zero experience with bottoming back then and I could barely bring my butt muscles to really relax. Now my level of experience is not so low because you've already been inside of me, and I assure you, you'll be the last." The Korean clarified, but he couldn't help feeling a bit of guilt after saying that. He thought of his mistake with Jaebeom and wondered if the fact that he was drunk at the time made the penetration easier. He didn't even felt sore that morning, even though he wasn’t used to take over the passive role. Could he and Jaebeom have, perhaps, just masturbated each other? He couldn't remember, and although he promised himself not to let that subject bother him too much, it was easier said than done.

"Do you trust me?" Mark's voice brought him back to the present time.

"Absolutely."

"Let's start then. That's how the story goes, I am Malik, your hot-headed boyfriend, and I'm punishing you for being a bad boy. You didn't come back home last night, so I'm gonna use my body to make you confess your carnal sins. Are you following?" The American animatedly described the plot of their roleplaying.

"Malik? That's funny. What about me, what's my name?" The amused younger chuckled. He somehow managed to hide his nervousness very well while he focused on his boyfriend.

"Iyo."

"What?!" Jinyoung asked, furrowing his brows. “That sounds slightly Japanese.” Mark knew the name was kinda similar to Ito. He didn’t want the younger to misunderstand what he was doing, so he spelt it out for him.

"I-Y-O. It’s not Japanese, it’s Indonesian." Mark said and the other nodded a bit more relieved. The last thing Jinyoung wanted was for his boyfriend to be fantasizing about Ito Hara.

"Did you just come up with this names now, or-"

"The safeword is ' _januar_ '. Whenever you want me stop acting, you say that word, otherwise I won't stop." Mark cut him off and gave the younger a foreign smirk. "You're good actor, sometimes it's difficult to tell when you're not acting, so remember ' _januar_ '."

"What are my lines?"

"Improvise. Just look helpless and in pain. Iyo is supposed to feel guilty because he hides things from Malik. There will be a bit of name calling, and foul language, be ready for it." Mark replied in a somber tone, and the Korean's eyes widened. "I'm gonna count until 3, after I'm done, you and I are not Mark and Jinyoung anymore. We’ll be Iyo and Malik. Play your role."

"Got it." Jinyoung whispered, too uneasy to question the familiarity of that plot. He could swear his heartbeats increased in his chest. He just couldn't look the older in the eye. He didn't even notice when his boyfriend finished counting. Only when a firm hand gripped his hair roughly that he met the American's eyes again. They looked cold, and accusative. Jinyoung wondered who was the real actor on that bed. Mark was already in character, and he acted exactly how he said he would.

"Say 'stop' one more fucking time, bitch. Go ahead and try to fight me! It just makes me hornier. Oh, did I pull your hair too hard? Are you going to cry, Iyo? I'd like to see you weep. Fucking you senseless will be even sexier if you cry." Malik hissed, as he hovered over the speechless Korean." Tell me if this hurts, I won't stop, but tell me." 

"I-It hurts." Iyo stammered, he didn't dare to struggle against Malik. The violence in his merciless eye held him in place. His undeniable betrayal could not be denied anymore. He felt cornered by Malik's accusations. Iyo knew how his boyfriend could be intimidating. He had killed people before, and for a moment, he wasn't sure of what Malik would do to him once he found out the truth.  


"Good! It serves you right for being such a fucking tease. What did you expect it would happen? Offering your ass to that friend of yours. Did he fuck you good? Was he bigger than me?" Malik asked harshly, as he brought Iyo's hands to his manhood. Iyo just let his fingers be guided to the other’s crotch. He didn’t dare to push him away. He was afraid of him, definitely. "Answer me, you piece of fuck meat, was he as good as you imagined as he would be?" Malik gritted his teeth, and licked Iyo's cheek.

"No!" Iyo exclaimed, but he wasn't able to deny all those accusations. He did sleep with his friend, but he didn't remember it, he didn't want it to happen. It was a mistake.

"You will learn to love my cock again, you slut! Beg me to rape this luscious dirty mouth, and ruin that hungry ass of yours! Don't make me tell you again." Malik commanded, as he bit on Iyo's collarbone and forcefully grinded his hips against him. He released the grip on Iyo's hair and secured both his hands above his head.

"Hey, don't be mad. Take it easy, I can explain it, please. I love only you." Iyo begged, and Malik couldn't help but lose himself in those eyes full of regret. Iyo’s words seemed to come from the actor who played him, and the apologetic tone of that one, disconcerted Malik. Mark almost broke character.

"How can you say that? You can't explain this. Ever. How do you think I feel?" Malik suddenly sounded too much like Mark, and Iyo didn't know what to think.

"It meant nothing, I swear." Iyo muttered, wondering what was really going on in Malik's head. His boyfriend narrowed his eyes at him when he heard those words leave his throat.

"You just admitted it! It's clear you were begging for this. For me to punish you like you deserve. Prepare to scream. You won't be walking for a week." Malik looked more furious than before, as he quickly climbed off him, just to pry his legs open and position himself between them. Iyo gasped, his eyes filled with terror. As soon as he felt Malik's finger ghost over his entrance without any preparation, he braced himself.

"I'm sorry." He breathed out, as he closed his eyes tightly shut. He heard a sigh and felt a movement on the bed.

"Januar." Mark whispered the safeword, and the utterly perturbed Jinyoung quickly opened his eyes. The American was sitting on the edge of the bed with a strange look on his face when the panting Korean sat up and placed his head against the headboard. He stared at Mark with a mix of concern and fright.

"Malik wouldn't really hurt Iyo, right?" A still agitated author managed to ask, only now realizing that his skin was glistening with sweat.

"Ask me why I said the safeword." Mark told him, without looking at him.

"Because the scene was getting too intense? Because you and Malik have nothing in common and you felt bad for calling me those names?" Jinyoung asked, the suspense was killing him. Lots of questions popped in his head. Did he know? How could his boyfriend know he was a cheater? Did Jaebeom tell him about it? Was Mark going to leave him?

"Do you feel bad for the name calling?" Mark asked, as he gazed at the wall.

"No. I'm not that sensitive. After all, it was just Malik and Iyo's business, not ours. It was just for fun, right?" Jinyoung never felt so tense. Mark scoffed and ignored his question.

"I had to say the safeword because Malik would've killed Iyo after nailing him to the mattress." The older said quietly. "I couldn't stay in character. Things were going to get pretty ugly for Iyo if we didn't stop."

"We shouldn't do this kind of thing anymore, if it upsets you." Jinyoung said, as he felt a lump rising from his chest into his throat, where it stuck and wouldn't move. He didn't know if he should feel relieved yet. That scene they roleplayed was too real, and he couldn't help but feel like Iyo did deserve to be punished by Malik. He couldn't help but feel the same fear the cheating lover felt. That was too cathartic. 

"Nah, I'm not upset. Are you hurt?" The older asked, without much interest, without looking at him.

"I guess I can handle a bit of hair pulling, Mark." Jinyoung chuckled, but he really was about to cry.

"Good." The American exhaled and got up from the bed. "I liked this, we should do it more often, it's quite therapeutic." He added, as he glanced at the younger. He gave him a tiny undecipherable smile and walked to the bathroom, but before he entered there, the Korean's voice made him pause.

"What would you have done if you were in Malik's shoes?" Jinyoung gathered enough courage to ask him that. Yet, Mark didn't seem to be bothered by the question.

"I would have accepted Iyo's apologies if he had the decency to tell me about his betrayal without me having to force the truth out of him." The older answered without turning to him. Jinyoung swallowed. For a second he felt tempted to take that chance to bring up his night with the editor, but he felt like if he started, the sob threatening to escape from his throat wouldn't let him get a single word out. He would end up being a crying mess on that bed, and Mark would probably freak out. His lover's voice reached his ears one more time before he could decide what to do, or what not to do. "On the other hand, if Iyo kept hiding his infidelity, pretending it never happened, then I'd cut Iyo's friend in tiny pieces, and then I'd feed Iyo’s lying tongue to some stray dog."

"You don't mean that." Jinyoung murmured, hanging his head low.

"Don't I?" Mark snorted. He slowly walked to the bed and lifted Jinyoung's chin up with one finger. "Don't make such a long face. I know you're an excellent actor, but it's time to break character. You're not Iyo, you’re not a cheater, you're my dear Jinyoungie, aren't you?"

"Of course." he replied awkwardly. Mark made a satisfied sound, placed a kiss on the top of his head and ruffled his hair.

"Wow, that was an unusual morning!" The American announced as he walked to the bathroom again. "By the way, I'll be in the shower, waiting for my morning blowjob. All this action gave me blue balls. Come join me when you're ready." He added casually, as if nothing had happened. The younger gave him a forced smile and a nod.

When Mark finally disappeared into the bathroom, the younger took a couple of deep breaths and tried to keep his feelings in check. He rubbed his hands against his face and tried to shake off the trepidation in his core. He tried to convince himself that no one would ever find out about that night. He told himself that he wasn't Iyo, and Mark wasn't Malik. The American didn’t know about him and Jaebeom. He couldn’t know. It was impossible. After he calmed down a little, he finally stood up from the bed, raked a hand through his hair, put on a guiltless expression on his face and went into the bathroom, to give his perfect boyfriend the morning headjob he owed him.


	40. Claws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes the greatest wounds are the ones we try the hardest not to inflict.”― Laurell K. Hamilton

Since Mark and Bambam’s bar was scheduled to open by the end of the month, Youngjae offered to give the two some basic Korean lessons in order to help them interact with their clientele. Yugyeom had already helped his boyfriend find a barback and a couple of servers that were fluent in English, but the bar owners naturally felt entitled to learn the local language. Positions were quickly being filled, the bar staff was almost complete, renovations in the interior design of the place would be finished in a couple of weeks, licenses were obtained, and marketing was going well. Worried about his lover’s safety, Jinyoung hired three security guards, who were supposed to guarantee that things at the establishment ran smoothly, no altercations between patrons would be overlooked, nor any kind of illegal activities would be allowed. The author didn’t fail to tell them that their main task would be keeping the owners of the bar out of danger.

It had been three weeks since the events that took place at Nora’s birthday party. Jackson still hadn’t made any move that could indicate that the phase 2 of his revenge was in progress, but Jinyoung still drove Mark to whatever location the American needed to go. One of those locations, unfortunately for him, was Jaebeom’s house. And even though Jaebeom was at Team Wang in the morning, whenever Jinyoung dropped Mark there for his ‘Korean classes’ with Youngjae, he felt a little unsettled. 

Neither JB nor Jinyoung were happy with the fact that Youngjae decided to teach Mark and Bambam Korean during his time off. Jinyoung didn’t like the fact that his boyfriend was constantly visiting the place where he had cheated on him, and Jaebeom always feared that Mark someday, would decide to tell his husband about his dirty little secret. However, several days passed since that night, and Mark seemed to have enough self-control to deal with the situation. The foreigner and Youngjae were getting along too well lately. The American clearly appreciated all the support and assistance the publicist was providing him and his best friend with the bar marketing, and they naturally started to spend a lot of time together. Sometimes, their growing closeness led JB to think that the older would never have the heart to tell Youngjae about his and Jinyoung’s drunk mistake. At some point, Jaebeom convinced himself that Jinyoung was not entertaining strange ideas about that night, and he thought that they could go back being best friends just like before. Jinyoung was writing again, and he promised his editor a book until the end of the year. He spent several hours locked up in his office while his boyfriend focused on his bar business, and his Korean lessons.

Now Mark and Jinyoung were inside a car parked in front of Jaebeom and Youngjae’s place. Jinyoung was asking Mark to give him a call whenever his lesson was over, but the older simply rolled his eyes at him.

“Nyoungie, I can ask Jae to take me home later. You have nothing to worry about. We haven’t heard from Jia Er in a while. I’ll be fine.” Mark whined, dismissing his boyfriend’s unnecessary overprotectiveness.

“Exactly! And that fact should make us even more alert. At least I thought that Bambam would be coming to these lessons with you, but the kid is not even in his apartment when it’s time to come here. Since he and Yugyeom moved out, they don’t seem to be available for anyone or anything. Such ungrateful children.” Jinyoung complained, but Mark knew he actually missed his cousin’s antics, and Bambam’s dirty mouth. The young couple still visited them regularly, but Bambam did not take those Korean lessons seriously, after all, he was learning the language much faster while spending time with his boyfriend.

“Bambam is monitoring the renovations at the bar and Yugyeom is at JYPE. Of course they’re busy, and so are you, mister bestselling author. Now go back home and resume your writing. I’ll meet you at the apartment later.” Mark insisted, giving the younger an impatient look. Strangely, after that roleplaying game in which Iyo asked Malik for forgiveness, things between them were relatively stable. Since Jinyoung was most of the time isolated in his office, whenever he got out of there to take a break, and Mark happened to be home, they would either have sex or cuddle on the living room couch. If it was nighttime, they would order some food, watch some Netflix, and chill. If their paths crossed in the morning or in the afternoon, Jinyoung would usually wrap Mark around a blanket, bring him to the balcony, lay down on the comfortable lounge chair and have the American lay on top of him. Mark would just nestle himself in his lovers arms, and rest his head on his chest. Sometimes he would just listen to Jinyoung’s heartbeats and contemplate the Seoul sky while his boyfriend read him some poetry. Sometimes taking a nap together was also revigorating. They were having less time for each other, but somehow, that fact made them cherish even more the little moments they shared inside that apartment.

“Maybe you could skip class and come home with me. I miss you already.” The Korean suggested, giving him a pitiful look, while running a hand through the older’s hair. Mark almost gave in.

“Sorry, Nyoungie. Gotta learn some Korean, since you don’t teach me anything. Go back to your book.” He told him playfully, and gave him a brief peck. “Before locking yourself up in that office, you should try shaving. Whenever I kiss you these days, I feel like I’m up against this prickling barrier surrounding your mouth.” He added, as he gently rubbed his hand against the overgrown stubble adorning his boyfriend’s face.

“I was trying to look sexy for you. I thought Americans found facial hair attractive.” The Korean smirked at him. Mark simply scoffed, and got out of the car. The truth was that Jinyoung had been working so much lately that he had neglected what his boyfriend called, the ‘daily special Seoulite men grooming’. On a certain occasion, he was walking around the streets of Seoul with Mark, and his boyfriend asked him why South Koreans seemed to be allergic to any semblance of body hair. The American was already used to watch the whole process of the author’s overzealous skincare in their bathroom, and he didn’t fail to notice how Jinyoung tried his best to look clean-shaven most of the time. He thought it was a mere preference the younger had for the beardless look, but soon he realized that the writer wasn’t the only one in the city obsessed by hair removal. Jinyoung tried to explain to him that the standard of beauty for Seoul citizens was defined by a clean complexion, and facial hair, was almost a sign of bad hygiene. Some could even consider the sight of a beard barbaric, or even inappropriate. Mark almost laughed at that, but with time, he also acquired the same skincare habits of his Korean lover.

“Well, we are not in America, and you’re South Korean, so stick to your ‘koreaness’. I like you that way. You don’t have to change anything because of me. After all, I fell in love with your Asian version of healthy, hairless face, not the scruffy, untended American one.” Mark chuckled as he leaned on the window of the car.

“Wow, you’re already talking like one of us.” Jinyoung shook his head at him playfully.

“I’m an adaptable being.” Mark said with a smile on his lips.

“And that’s why I love you.” Jinyoung beamed, and the older felt an immense need to say he loved him too, but he didn’t.

“You’d better.” It was all the American managed to utter, before he stepped away from the car. The writer made an unsatisfied noise when he watched the other leave, but still blew his boyfriend a kiss when the older waved him goodbye. Jinyoung only started the car when he saw the American enter the house. After he looked around and saw no one suspect near the house, the author finally drove away.

“I saw you two through the window. You guys are cute together.” Youngjae commented casually, as they entered his office.

“You and JB are also…nice together.” Mark said, without much conviction.

“Good thing that that stupid dare didn’t ruin our relationships, right?” The publicist said, as both of them took a seat, Youngjae opened his notebook and placed it on the table.

“Hum.” The American avoided the subject as much as he could, yet, the younger seemed to be quite interested in the topic.

“I feel stupid for being so insecure at the time. You were so cool. You just stood there and let your boyfriend kiss another guy.”

“Well, no harm done, right?” Mark gave him a forced smile, and checked his phone quickly, showing the younger that he had no interest in that dialogue. “Shall we begin? What’s gonna be today? Oral practice as usual, or what?”

“You wouldn’t be so carefree if you knew what I know…” Youngjae hesitated and took a deep breath. “I probably shouldn’t tell you some hard facts regarding Jaebeom and Jinyoung’s friendship in the past because JB himself asked me not to tell anyone, but-”

“Don’t tell me then.” Mark cut him off in a serious tone. He wasn’t pretending to smile anymore. He told himself that if he stopped thinking about those two in bed, his relationship with Jinyoung would remain unaffected. He was not interested in Jinyoung’s past, only his present.

“It’s not really a big deal, I mean, you and Jinyoung have a pretty solid thing now, but-”

“But what?” The older stared hard at the reticent publicist. “Why are you even bringing this up now?”

“Things have been weird…Whenever I am in a room with my husband and he receives a phone call from Jinyoung, he stands up and takes the call somewhere else.” Youngjae started, seeming to finally get to the point.

“So what? They work together. It’s probably about the new book.” Mark sighed, cursing himself for having to find excuses for his boyfriend’s own mess.

“Beom has never done that. And I also noticed that whenever he sees Jinyoung’s number on the screen of his phone he has this odd expression on his face...”

“Do you think they are having a goddamn affair, or something?” Mark asked briskly, crossing his arms.

“I don’t now…Haven’t you noticed any change in Jinyoung’s behavior since that dare?” Youngjae asked, with a conflicted expression on his face.

“No.” A nervous Mark stated firmly. “Believe me, there’s nothing going on between them. It’s all in your mind. Jinyoung is over him, and your husband was never into him, so there’s no reason for you to-”

“Did you know that Jinyoung got pretty drunk the day JB and I were about to fly to NY to get married? Park Jinyoung recklessly showed up at Incheon international airport, and dared to ask JB not to marry me. He claimed he wanted to be with him. He begged his engaged best friend not to get on that plane, and give him a chance. The funny fact is that this happened a year after Jinyoung himself said he was over him, a year after he gave us his blessings. Can you believe that? He probably got plastered in order to gather enough courage to do such a desperate thing. We had to cancel our flight that day. JB was worried about his condition and took him back here to sleep it off. The next morning Jinyoung claimed that he didn’t remember what he did. We didn’t even discuss about the scene he made at the airport. JB asked me not to. Despite Jaebeom’s concern for his friend’s feelings, we caught another flight on the same week, and tied the knot.” Youngjae revealed, with a distant look on his face.

“Fuck.” Mark really wished he hadn’t listened that story. Now his mind was all over the place.

“When I see them together, as close as they are, with their secret conversations, I can’t help but think, that JB might’ve felt at least a little tempted to do what his best friend asked him to back then.” The publicist said, with a in a bitter tone.

“But he married you. He loves you, right? Why would you even think-”

“Jinyoung had already given him thousands of excuses to justify his absence at our engagement party, and we weren’t surprised when he said he couldn’t make it to the wedding later. JB even considered postponing the date of our trip to America after Jin’s pitiful outburst at the airport. I thought that JB only wanted to do that because he felt bad for his friend, but that was only me making assumptions. Sometimes I think that if Jin fought for him a little harder, and insisted in turning that friendship into something else before JB proposed to me, maybe Jaebeom and I wouldn’t be together today.” The publicist continued to voice his insecurities, as the older unwillingly listened to him.

“Well, he wouldn’t be with Jinyoung either. JB only sees him as a friend, remember?” Mark declared, trying to convince himself of his own words.

“Perhaps. He’s been a bit detached these days. As a matter of fact, he’s been different since Jinyoung brought home an American boyfriend. After that dare, we haven’t…been intimate.” Youngjae gave the older a sad smile and continued. “My husband is hiding things from me, Mark. I can tell. Now that he sees Jinyoung in a happy relationship with someone else, I wonder if he regrets getting on that plane to marry me.”

“Of course he doesn’t. He’s probably acting weird because he’s trying to mediate things between Jin and Jia Er.” Mark’s voice almost quivered. He knew that wasn’t the case, and Youngjae’s suspicions filled his head with more doubts. He felt like his brain would explode at some point.

“Jaebeom doesn’t talk much about their college days. The truth is, I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard they slept together before. I could even picture the whole thing happening. Jinyoung would just have to get really drunk before making a pass at JB. Then Jaebeom would certainly pity his puppy face, and give his friend what he wanted. Later Jinyoung would blame it on the alcohol, and just pretend he couldn’t remember anything for the sake of their friendship.” Youngjae shook his head in frustration, seeming to ponder all the possibilities that could make the two best friends become more than friends.

“Jesus Christ. You have a hell of an imagination. Stop torturing yourself, Jinyoung is not going anywhere near your husband while I am around.” Mark chewed on his lips, as an unknown ill feeling possessed him. The accuracy of the publicist’s words made his heart race.

“Who knows? Maybe he already did.” Youngjae thought out loud. That sentence was the final nail in the coffin.

“What about you?” Mark asked abruptly, determined to change the course of that dialogue. A mix of loath and agony pulsated in his veins now. He was forced to opt for some drastic measures.

“What do you mean?” The Korean frowned.

“Have you ever cheated on your husband?” Mark pressed, as the other eyed him in shock.

“Where did you get this idea?! Hell, I never even said that JB cheated on me, I was just explaining to you why that dare made me feel so apprehensive, and why I think things are weird ever since. I mean, the suspicious phone calls,-”

“That’s not what I asked. Have you cheated or not?” The American cut him off caustically.

“No, and neither has my husband!” Youngjae exclaimed, as he stood up, a bit agitated.

“You didn’t even have cheating thoughts? Haven’t you ever looked a guy up and down and wondered what it would be like to fuck him?” Mark raised an eyebrow at the younger.

“That doesn’t count as cheating.” The publicist huffed.

“Have you ever fantasized about me?”

“What?! No!” Youngjae eyed him in disbelief, and when he saw Mark leave his chair and walk in his direction, he backed away from him. “Listen, this talk is making me really uncomfortable. I think you should leave, Mark. Today’s lesson is cancelled. You’re being tremendously rude.”

“Rude? That’s not what you think I am. Since the first day you laid eyes on me, you complimented my looks. Even when your husband was around! Now you’re trying to convince me that my boyfriend and your husband are having an affair just to get into my pants. I see what you’re doing there.” Mark accused, as he gently, but not kindly, pushed Youngjae against a bookshelf. The wide-eyed publicist hurried to defend himself of the accusations.

“You’re exaggerating things. I never said anything about an affair. I’m not interested in having sex with you either. I might’ve complimented your looks a couple of times, but it’s not like you’re my type.” Youngjae argued, as he put a firm hand on the American’s chest to keep him from getting too close.

“You want me to fuck you! It’s so obvious, I can recognize an invitation when I see one! I’ve noticed how you look at me when no one is watching.” The American knew he had successfully turned the tables. His rough approach was the only way he found to keep Youngjae from getting too close to the truth. He felt compelled to change the other’s mind, after all, the closer Youngjae got to the truth, the closer he got to lose Jinyoung.

“Stop it! T-that’s not true.” Youngjae stuttered when Mark touched the hand he had placed on his chest and winked at him.

“Do you want to me to take off my shirt that badly?”

“No! Please, get out. You’re crossing the line.” The exasperated Korean said quickly, removing his hand from Mark’s chest, and as soon as he did it, the older took the chance to lean forward and trap the defenseless Youngjae against the shelf with both his arms.

“Come on, those two will end up fucking each other’s asses one of these days. It’s just a matter of time. Actually, you think that they might’ve already done the deed, don’t you? I say we shouldn’t let them be the only ones having their fun in secret. Maybe we could go upstairs and get to know each other better.” The American suggested as he connected his forehead with the younger’s. “What do you prefer? Top, or bottom? It really doesn’t matter to me. I’m okay with both.”

“No, thanks. I’ll pass. Now get the fuck away from me, I’m not gonna say it again!” Youngjae exclaimed, pushing the older away. A couple of books fell on Mark due to the younger’s sudden movement. If the publicist kept struggling with his back pressed against the shelf, another large row of books would probably fall on them, so the older backed away laughing. Youngjae fumed as he yelled at him. “By the way, these Korean lessons are definitely over. This is harassment, and I’m not gonna put up with this kind of thing. Seunie was right! You’re no good for Jin, and I’ll make sure he learns about what happened here today!”

“Look at you, aren’t you the incorruptible one?” Mark sneered at him, beside himself with wrath. Hear the other saying that he was no good for the writer made him lost all control he still had of his tongue. “I cannot say the same about your husband, or my boyfriend. Since you’re already so suspicious of them, let me confirm it to you. Yes, they are a couple of cheaters.” The American could not contain his contempt anymore. For a moment, he forgot about the consequences such a truth could bring to his relationship. He didn’t even know what he was saying anymore. He wanted to see Youngjae as distraught as he was, he yearned to watch the other wear the same abrasions he had been wearing since he saw those two in bed. He craved to inflict on him the same graze that insidiously corroded his very soul for weeks.

“You’re talking nonsense. Are you on drugs or something? I’m gonna call Jinyoung right now, and ask him to pick you up. I don’t wanna see you or ever talk to you again, you hear me?!” The publicist trembled as he took his phone out of his pocket, but before he found the writer’s number on his contact list, Mark’s voice interrupted him.

“Nora’s party. They got fucking drunk in your living room, and went to the spare bedroom upstairs to fuck! I saw them in bed with my own eyes. Your darling JB finally gave in to his best friend. And since you’re already calling Jin, you might take this opportunity to ask him who topped who. See if I care!” Mark’s tone was sour and sharp. Youngjae was still agape when the older turned his back on him, stomped out of the office, and left the house.

Jinyoung was shaving in the bathroom when Mark appeared out of nowhere, called out his name and startled him in the process. The Korean already had shaving cream on both sides of his face, and he was slowly dragging the blade across his jaw when his boyfriend’s sudden arrival made him jump, and accidentally nick himself. He didn’t even notice the small cut left by the razor when he turned away from the mirror and eyed the anguished American at the bathroom door with concern.

“Baby, what is it?! What happened? Are you okay?” An apprehensive Jinyoung asked, as he dropped the shaver in the sink and placed his hands on his lover’s shoulders. The shaking American looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

“I, I just missed you.” Mark managed to say as he pulled Jinyoung to him and wrapped his arms around the younger. An earthquake of emotions rumbled inside him. He had caught a taxi instead of a bus to get home faster. He couldn’t help but fear Youngjae’s call. He wasn’t sure if his ‘Korean teacher’ would really spill the beans. How would he explain himself? Would the publicist really tell Jinyoung how he ‘harassed’ him? What would his boyfriend do once he learned that he had offered sex to his dongsaeng? The American was relieved to see the writer in that bathroom doing something utterly prosaic as shaving. Jinyoung could be packing for him, booking him a flight back to the U.S, or preparing a vicious speech to kick him out, but he wasn’t. It frightened Mark the thought of never being able to touch, or see him, or hear his voice again. He imagined he would arrive home just to find out he didn’t have a home anymore. However, the writer didn’t seem to have any idea of what had taken place at Youngjae’s house half an hour ago. Mark never felt so happy for being wrong.

“You’ll get shaving cream all over your hair, Markie. Will you please tell me what’s up with you? Did Jae drive you here?” Jinyoung still sounded alarmed, but hugged the older tightly.

“Just hold me, please.” The older begged, unable to let go of the Korean.

“Of course, babe. I’ll hold you as much as you need. My arms will always be here for you. They are all yours. All of me belongs to you, till the end of my days.” Jinyoung assured him, as he caressed his back soothingly.

“Do you promise?” Mark muttered, holding back a sob.

“Yes, I do. You know I do.” The Korean sighed worriedly, and placed a tender kiss on his shoulder. “Now talk to me, baby.”

“I-I guess I’m just anxious with all the changes lately.” The American muttered, with his face still buried in the crook of the younger’s neck. Jinyoung noticed he wasn’t shaking anymore, but he still sounded distressed.

“What changes?” The Korean asked in a gentle voice as he caressed his hair.

“I don’t know…I’ll be working in a bar again, after more than two months without any practice...You’ll finish your book at some point, and once it’s finished, you’ll start your book tours, and since I’ll be bartending, I won’t be able to join you, so you’ll leave me here, alone.” Mark lied. He was pretty confident of his bartender skills, and he respected his boyfriend’s career. He wouldn’t complain about Jinyoung’s absence if the younger had to travel to another city for a book tour. But he needed to find an excuse for his erratic behavior. He had plenty of reasons to feel like his world was falling apart, but none of those reasons could be voiced now. It would be too dangerous. He had too much to lose.

Jinyoung was about to tell him that they would be all right, that the American had nothing to be afraid of, and that he would not go to any book tour if Mark wasn’t able to go with him. However, before he could say anything, his cellphone vibrated in his pocket. The older tensed in his arms. The first thought that came to Mark’s mind was that Youngjae had finally decided to tell Jinyoung about his shameful behavior earlier. The American desperately shoved his hand on the Korean’s pocket and removed the cellphone from it. He didn’t even check who was the caller, he quickly threw the mobile inside the toilet vase.

“Mark! What the hell?!” Jinyoung exclaimed as he disentangled his arms from the American and went to rescue the phone inside the toilet vase. But Mark was faster, held him by the waist, and roughly pushed him against the sink. He needed to distract the writer, and he would do anything to keep Jinyoung from trying to get that phone back.

“Forget it, you can buy another one.” The American said in a hurry, as he kneeled in front of the writer and started undoing his belt. “I wanna blow you now.”

“Baby, that could be important.” Jinyoung managed to say right before he felt Mark unzip his jeans and take his dick out of his underwear. “You could’ve at least let me finish shaving.” The younger added, as he wiped the shaving cream from his face with a towel that was lying on the sink.

“No phone call, and no shaving is more important than my mouth around your dick.” The American said trying to sound like the most seductive being alive. And he didn’t have to try too hard. As soon as he started licking his boyfriend’s shaft, Jinyoung was unable to voice any complaints. Mark was determined to suck him off, and he couldn’t bring himself to make the older stop. He wanted to feel Mark’s lips on him, he could never reject his boyfriend’s blowjobs. He loved to come inside his mouth.

Another sound echoed in the bathroom besides Mark’s sucking noises and the moans coming out of Jinyoung’s throat. It was the American’s phone that vibrated this time, warning him about a new message. Mark sloppily let the Korean’s dick slip from his mouth and took his phone out of his pocket. Jinyoung complained, as he gripped Mark’s hair and tried to make the older take him in his mouth again, but Mark was still scrolling down his phone while his lover’s boner rubbed against his cheek.

“I swear to God, if you don’t put this phone away and finish what you started, I’m gonna throw it in the toilet just like you did with mine.”

“We have a housewarming party in one hour. Next door. Bam and Gyeom just invited us.” Mark informed the younger and quickly turned his attention back to the hard erection before him.

“And those punks just let us know about that now? Which one of them texted?” Jinyoung protested.

“It’s from an unknown number.” Mark replied, as he stroked the Korean with one hand. He wondered if Jinyoung’s phone vibrated earlier because he had also received that notification. He would be all right if Youngjae kept his mouth shut. He already cursed himself for telling the publicist about the best friends’ fuck, he just hoped Youngjae didn’t really believe him.

“It must be my cousin. Maybe he’s at JYPE. He told me that when he’s in there he’s only allowed to use the company’s phone.” The Korean commented casually and added, “We’ve gotta hurry up if we want to make it to this housewarming thing, baby. Just use your gorgeous mouth again, will you?” he almost begged, as he parted Mark’s lips with his thumb. The older complied, enveloping his lover’s thick penis with his mouth one more time. Jinyoung grabbed Mark by the nape of his neck and shoved his dick deep into his lover’s throat. He thrust in and out of him nonstop, as his groans became more urgent. Mark controlled the pace by holding the younger’s hips with both his hands, but eventually he let the younger roughly fuck his mouth without any restraint.

Jinyoung’s legs weakened, and his whole body shook, as waves of pleasure overtook him. He cried out loud when he ejaculated in the American’s mouth. Mark felt the taste of his boyfriend’s semen in his mouth and wondered if Jaebeom tasted it too. He suddenly imagined the editor in the same position he was. He wondered if the editor made his boyfriend scream with pleasure. He wondered if he was inside him. He couldn’t bear the thought of Jaebeom pounding his boyfriend’s succulent buttocks. Mark didn’t swallow the younger’s come. He maneuvered the Korean’s body and turned him around, bending him over the sink. Jinyoung was still recovering from his mind-blowing orgasm when he felt Mark pull his pants and boxers all the way down to his ankles and wet his rear with a familiar sticky substance. He was spitting all the load in his mouth on the younger’s back. “Baby, we’re gonna need lube for that.” Jinyoung whispered, as he felt the older’s finger taunt his entrance.

“Relax, I’m just checking if you haven’t used this sweet hole of yours in awhile.” Mark said softly against his ear, as he pushed a finger coated with sperm inside the younger’s anus. The latter gasped, trying to relax.

“Of course I haven’t.” He grunted, and asked one more time. “Use lube, baby. There’s a bottle of it in the cabinet-”

“Don’t you play with yourself? What about dildos, or vibrators? Don’t you enjoy them up your ass?” Mark pressed, and he pushed another finger inside the Korean.

“No. I don’t have that kind of stuff. You know that. I only have you.” Jinyoung moaned, as the older hastily fingerfucked him.

“Only me? Am I not enough?!” Mark’s voice had an edge to it now. The Korean was somewhat alarmed when he felt his boyfriend’s erection between his legs. His eyes were so focused on the sink underneath him that he hadn’t noticed when Mark had pulled his own sweatpants and boxers down.

“Babe, you’re more than enough… Just be a little gentler, I’m not used to it.” Jinyoung said in a small voice, wondering what was going through the older’s mind.

“But Jinyoungie, you know exactly how I like it, right? I like it rough, just like the first time.” The American said softly against his ear, and without a warning, he impaled the younger from behind. Jinyoung screamed in pain when Mark buried his dick inside him. He didn’t think he was ready to be penetrated so soon, he was sure he would tear if the older kept ignoring his request for lubricant. Mark moved behind him, and when he thrust out of the younger with the intention of just thrusting back deeper into him, Jinyoung lifted his head from the sink, and violently pushed the older off him. Mark lost his balance and fell on the bathroom floor with a thud.

“The first time won’t happen again! We weren’t even in love back then. We didn’t care about hurting each other, but now we do!” Jinyoung stared down at the shocked American on the floor. “And when I tell you to use the fucking lube, just do it, Mark! You may like it rough, but my ass doesn’t!” The Korean raised his voice this time, as he opened the bathroom cabinet and took a bottle out of it. He crawled on the floor where the older had landed and uncapped the lube. When Mark sat up and leaned against the bathroom wall, the author took his hand and applied a large amount of lubricant on it.

“I-I’m sorry.” Mark uttered, realizing what he had just done. He was about to apologize once more when the Korean climbed on top of him and captured his mouth for a kiss. Mark moaned into it, and when the kiss became too heated, his boyfriend released his lips. Jinyoung never took his eyes from Mark’s while he applied lube all over the older’s erection.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad. As long as you listen to me next time, we’re good. Now fuck me properly.” Jinyoung told him and gently bit on his shoulder.

“We shouldn’t.” Mark whispered, feeling a bit guilty. Was it jealousy that made him ignore his boyfriend’s pleas, or was it the part of the monster inside him that was starting to show its claws?

“You’re hard, and ready for me. I love you and I want you to have me too, you just have to thoroughly prepare me first.” Jinyoung licked his earlobe and carefully introduced Mark’s lubed finger in his hole again. Mark closed his eyes as he let the other guide his finger in and out of him. The American could feel the younger’s walls suck him in slowly as another one of his fingers was inserted in the Korean’s hole.

“You’re so warm, Jinyoungie.” Mark muttered, as he bit his lips. “No matter how cold I am, you melt down my icy stone heart. I cannot let anyone take you away from me. I cannot live without your warmth.”

“I cannot live without you either. No one is taking me away from you. We will never be apart, ever. Melt inside me, baby.” The Korean said as he took his boyfriend’s fingers out of him and replaced them with the tip of his penis. “I’m gonna teach you how you should make love to me. You just have to be patient and let me get used to you in there.”

“Okay.” Mark nodded and caressed his lover’s thighs. He was already halfway inside him but he didn’t force the Korean’s hips down. He didn’t want to hurt Jinyoung again. He settled for encouraging the younger to continue descending on him with caution. “You’re the most beautiful man alive. You’ll look even more alluring once you start to bounce up and down on me.”

“Fuck, you’re so big.” The blushing Korean uttered, as he managed to descend on him completely. He took deep breaths in order to get used to the feeling of being totally full. “I’m never gonna get used to bottoming.”

“You don’t have to. We can stop. Don’t force yourself.” Mark said kindly, but deep down he felt like if the other moved an inch away from him, he would go mad. He started kissing the younger’s face and pumping his dick. The Korean moaned loudly and finally started to ride the American.

“If I wanted to stop, I wouldn’t be doing this.” Jinyoung rotated his hips and fucked himself on Mark with clear satisfaction. Ardent moans, lustful groans, and grunts of indescribable pleasure filled the bathroom. It didn’t take long for both of them to reach their climax and collapse against each other. They remained on the floor trying to regain control of their breaths for a while.

When the afterglow dissipated, the couple slowly disjoined their bodies, got up from the floor, showered together, and got dressed for YugBam’s housewarming party. They didn’t talk about what had happened in the bathroom. The silence between them was heavy, but bearable. Jinyoung didn’t ask why Mark thought that anyone could ever take him away from him. Mark didn’t utter a single word about his ‘argument’ with Youngjae either. The sex didn’t make the older feel less insecure, nor made the writer think that everything was okay between them, but it numbed the doubts in their minds for a while. The Korean retrieved his cell phone from the toilet vase, and since the mobile was waterproof, it was still in perfect state. JB had sent him a message with suggestions of gifts for the housewarming party of the youngsters. The author already knew what to bring for the occasion. He told Mark that they had to stop by Chungmuro _Pet_ Street before they joined their neighbors. The American simply agreed, and they left the apartment together. 


	41. Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You hold onto what you have; you do not give it up easily, even when you know it is poisoning you.” ― Poppy Z. Brite

"Bam, I received a weird text from an unknown number saying that you needed me home ASAP. It also said it was a matter of life and death! I had to tell my boss at JYPE that my grandma had passed away so he would let me leave work earlier. I tried to call you but you weren't answering my calls." A worried Yugyeom entered the apartment in a hurry and threw himself in his boyfriend's arms. Then they both examined each other to make sure they were both all right.

"Damn, I was trying to get a hold of you too. Maybe we were trying to call each other at the same time? I also got the same text. Hell, I left everything at the bar and came here. Thank God, you're okay. Who sent those messages? Is this some sort of joke?" Bambam gave him a puzzled look. The doorbell rang once, and then twice until one of them decided to check who was there.

"I guess we're about to find out what this is about." The young Korean said as he went to the door.

"Annyeong! Are we too late for the party?" Youngjae asked as he entered the place with Jaebeom behind him. Both of them had a box in their arms. The publicist put on his best smile. Even his husband was still oblivious of his inner turmoil. The publicist did not tell his husband about what happened at their house earlier, he knew that there would be an appropriate time to discuss their problems. He wasn’t in a hurry. Since JB was hiding things from him, he didn’t feel bad about keeping secrets either. Youngjae never acted on instinct. He pondered every single move he made. He knew that Mark and Jinyoung would certainly be at that event, and he had no intention of washing his dirty linen in public. His last Korean class with the American was quite unsettling. Mark confounded him. He didn’t understand why the American hadn’t confronted his boyfriend, even though the foreigner already knew about Jinyoung and Jaebeom’s hook up. Youngjae was unsure of how to act around the couple once they were face to face. He didn’t know how the American would behave, so he told himself that he would decide what to do according to how things developed during that housewarming party. It was a special occasion for Bambam and Yugyeom, and he swore to himself that he wouldn’t ruin their day.

"Party? What party?" The maknae furrowed his brows as his hyungs walked past him and took off their shoes.

"Oh, please! Don't pretend you don't know. Jackson personally told me to leave work earlier to join you guys. You two should've given us the heads up earlier. I had to stop by the supermarket to buy cleaning supplies, tissues and toilet paper." The editor complained as he placed the large box in his arms in the middle of the living room.

"Come again? Why did you have to buy this stuff? Are you guys going to clean up our place or something?" Bambam was completely lost, as he eyed his two guests with puzzlement.

"That's how housewarming parties work in Korea, dear Bambam. It's called jipdeuri. We're gifting you these items because we wish you both a clean and prosperous place to live. Don't look so shocked." Youngjae explained to the confused foreigner, as he also placed a smaller box on the carpet. There were a couple of holes around the box and for some reason, there were strange sounds coming out of it.

"Guys. We own the place and we never heard anything about a housewarming party today. What the fuck?" Bambam was still as skeptical as Yugyeom.

"What are you talking about? Come on, I don't have time for pranks, kids." Jaebeom announced impatiently as he turned to the maknae. "Gyeom-ah, did you buy enough food and drinks? How many people did you invite?" The editor asked the maknae, who tried to explain himself one more time.

"Hyungs, I seriously have no idea of what's going on here. I just came from work, because I thought Bam needed me here. I never told Jackson hyung about any of this. I wouldn’t throw a party any soon after what happened at the last one. I don't know-"

Before Yugyeom could finish the sentence, the smaller box that Youngjae brought toppled over the carpet, and four small kittens came out of it. Bambam's eyes shone with satisfaction as he saw them. The beaming Thai sat on the carpet and quickly took the animals in his arms.

"Guys, are these for us too? I definitely like them more than the toilet papers! We're surely keeping them." Bambam grinned from side to side, as he caressed the fluffy creatures surrounding him.

"Cats? Since when do you bring cats to a housewarming party?" The maknae frowned at the publicist, who simply shrugged.

"Don't ask me. Jaebeom was the one who insisted on it. He said Bam would probably not be entirely happy with the cleaning supplies since he's a foreigner. He claimed that your boyfriend was not used to our cultural rules yet. Housewarming parties in Korea are quite different from the American or Thai ones. So my husband concluded that since Bam is a cat person, the additional gift would be perfect." Youngjae said, giving Yugyeom a defeated smile. He didn't like the idea of the cats either, but judging by the Thai's expression, JB was undoubtedly right.

"Thank you!" Bambam exclaimed.

"You're welcome!" The editor smiled proudly, as he watched Bambam play with the kittens. "Children certainly make the home of a couple feel more alive. You should start thinking about names." Jaebeom added, as Youngjae rolled his eyes at him. 

"Who's going to look after them when we're out?" The maknae protested with a pout. He was about to complain to his hyungs. He'd rather raise puppies than kittens. Yugyeom was about to voice his disappointment, when his boyfriend started talking.

"Cats are independent. They will be okay even if we have to leave them alone for a couple of hours. Aren't you excited? We're parents now Gyeom!" Bambam announced excitedly. The Thai had already forgotten about finding out the mysterious origin of that housewarming party, and his boyfriend was already worried about what those animals could do to their furniture. However, the maknae's pout quickly dissolved into a smile when he stared at Bambam. The look of contentment on his boyfriend's face made his heart swell.

The doorbell rang again and as soon as Yugyeom opened the door one more time, another couple appeared before him. This time his heart beat faster. His cousin had a dark colored puppy in his arms, and he practically pushed the dog in the maknae's arms.

"JB told me about the cats. I knew you would be pouting. So there, have fun. No need to thank me." Jinyoung said smirking at the youngster.

"You're the best, hyung!" Yugyeom thanked his cousin and even bowed at him respectfully.

"I have no idea how you guys are going to handle 5 pets in a single apartment, but there's one living being that won't give you much trouble." Mark said in a friendly tone, as if he had no trouble in this world and handed the maknae a small potted plant. "Here you are. According to Jinyoungie, the green symbolizes health, and a thriving business and life. That's what I wish for my dearest neighbors."

"Aww, Mark hyung, you're so thoughtful. I'm happy to have you two as neighbors. Come on in." Yugyeom said as he tried to adjust the plant and the puppy in both his arms.

When the maknae led the couple into the living room, all eyes turned to them. "Markjin is in the house, yorubun!" Yugyeom cheered as he put the plant on the coffee table and introduced his new puppy to his guests. “Bam, you can choose the name of the cats, but this one here will be called Dalkyum! He’s the spitting image of me!” Bambam looked surprised to see the puppy in his boyfriend's arms, but he didn't seem to care about the amount of pets they were gifted all at once. He greeted the couple with a large smile on his face.

Youngjae's eyes eventually fell on Mark, but the latter simply looked away from him. Both of them seemed to pretend that their disconcerting 'lesson' that morning had never happened. Mark knew the publicist would be at that gathering, but he couldn't find an excuse to stay home. Jinyoung would start asking questions at some point, so he just acted like nothing was wrong. The way he acted earlier in the bathroom of their apartment was already questionable. He was not in a peaceful state of mind to go through any sort of interrogation. He didn’t know what Youngjae would do or say after the revelation he made to him. He couldn’t guess what the younger would do about the ‘inappropriate’ behavior he displayed in his house hours ago. Another problem was Lim Jaebeom. The American now had more doubts than ever regarding the editor’s relationship with his boyfriend. Mark could try, but he didn’t know if he would be able to ignore the Jaebeom’s presence at that party for too long. 

"Look who's here! You guys live next door and we were still able to get here earlier. Don't you have watches? What a shame." JB commented playfully, as he stood up from the couch and went to give his friend a hug, but stopped midway when Mark hurried to shake hands with him.

"How have you been doing, JB?" Mark asked abruptly coming between the two.

"Fine. You?" The editor replied a bit awkwardly, shaking the American's hand. He suddenly remembered why touching Jinyoung in front of the older wouldn't be a good idea. The writer also seemed a little reluctant to get too close to JB, so he simply waved at him and went to greet Youngjae, who wasn't very pleased to see the couple, but successfully hid his discontentment.

Mark met the publicist's eyes one more time, just to nod at him. Youngjae returned the gesture and then turned his attention to Yugyeom's puppy. Mark quickly joined Bambam on the carpet and started to give him suggestions of names for the kittens. Youngjae and Mark seemed to have sealed a silent agreement at that moment. None of them would raise a stink in that place.

Jinyoung thought it was strange the fact that Mark and Youngjae greeted each other with a simple nod of their heads. The 'teacher and student' had already gotten pretty close, and that gesture seemed too cold. He wanted to ask his boyfriend what was wrong, but decided to do that once the party was over. As a matter of fact, he was aware that something was up with Mark since he returned from the publicist’s house. The episode in their bathroom was somewhat disturbing, and that also had to be further addressed.

“What happened to your face?” Bambam questioned as he approached the absentminded writer, and pointed to the small cut on his face.

“A small shaving accident.” Jinyoung replied quickly changed the subject. "Now, why aren't you guys drinking? What kind of housewarming party has no drinks?" He asked, as his eyes travelled from his cousin to the Thai.

"We haven't prepared anything. As a matter of fact we don't know who told you about this so-called housewarming party, but it wasn't us." Bambam replied, with a shrug.

"Are you for real? I thought you were joking earlier." Jaebeom commented, furrowing his brows. "To be honest, both Jae and I got a text from an unknown number at noon. That's how we learned about this thing. Jackson must've received the same text, since he told Jae that we could leave Team Wang earlier to come here."

"How is your boss doing by the way? I wonder why Jia Er hasn't fired you yet. Last I’ve heard, he had given you an ultimatum. Have you decided to be on his side or something?" Mark asked JB, suddenly making the air a bit tense. The editor didn’t answer him right away, so his husband decided to clarify things for everyone there.

"I talked to Seunie. I told him that the work my husband and I do in Team Wang has nothing to do with our personal lives. I politely told him to grow up and be a bit more professional, like a CEO should. I believe he got the message." Youngjae said in a serious tone. He didn't like the way Mark spoke to JB, but he still kept his feelings in check.

"I didn't know you talked to Seunnah. How did you get through him?" JB gave him a quizzical look.

"I have my ways." Youngjae said shortly.

"Mark and I also received the invitation through a text from an unknown number. I thought Gyeom was calling from JYPE and that's why I didn't suspect that someone else sent that message." Jinyoung stated, as the others shared curious looks.

The doorbell rang again and everybody's faces turned to the front door this time.

"Maybe it's one of your colleagues at JYPE?" Bambam eyed his boyfriend with suspense. The maknae shrugged again and went to the door.

"Is everyone already here? They’d better be. I come in peace." Jackson appeared in front of him, with a smile on his face. He said something in Mandarin, and without a warning, a couple of people showed up out of nowhere and walked past Yugyeom. They entered the apartment carrying food and beverages. But Jackson didn't move from the door.

"Hyung? Wait, this housewarming thing, was it your idea?" Yugyeom looked flabbergasted. He was unsure about letting the Chinese in. He was unable to read his intentions. The last time the 7 of them gathered in a single room, his boyfriend freaked out on Jackson. The latter also behaved quite poorly when he shouted offenses at Mark. His cousin slapped the Chinese, unknown facts were unveiled, and Bambam even mentioned going back to America. Yugyeom wasn't ready to hear those words coming out of the Thai's lips again. 

"Of course. But I'll only join you all if you allow me to." Jackson said calmly. Yugyeom shook his head in frustration.

"Hyung this is not a good idea, I-"

"By all means, let him in! He brought food and drinks. Someone must taste them first, just to make sure they're not poisoned." Bambam said sarcastically, as he appeared beside his boyfriend at the entryway and led the people who brought the drinks and food out of the apartment. An uncertain Yugyeom told the Chinese to come in. Jackson gave him a thankful look and stepped inside the place. Bambam crossed his arms and followed him to the living room.

An alarmed Jaebeom stood up from the couch as soon as the Hongkonger walked in. Jinyoung tensed, and within a second, he was next to Mark, who was on the carpet surrounded by YugBam’s pets. Then he placed himself in front of the American, in a way that Jackson could barely see the foreigner sitting behind him. Youngjae sighed, and just hoped that the scene he witnessed in his house weeks ago didn't repeat itself in that apartment. He couldn't help but realize that since Mark arrived in Seoul, all his friends did was argue, and he wasn't happy about that fact.

"He was the one who sent us the anonymous messages, and brought the expensive food and drinks." Bambam commented sourly, as everyone glued his eyes on the Chinese. "I believe we're all anxious to hear why he did all this."

"One of my favorite dongsaengs is taking a great step in his life. Such an event has to be celebrated. I understand it's a weekday. I also know that everyone must be quite busy lately, but we cannot refrain from drinking to Gyeomie's success in getting his very first job and his new place. Although our last gathering was a fiasco, I aim to put an end to the horrendous animosity in our midst." The CEO declared in a conciliatory tone.

"As far as I am concerned, you're the one spreading the ‘animosity’. You're the one threatening to fire your friends and forcing them to choose sides." Jaebeom stated, not really convinced by the Chinese's good intentions.

"Well, I haven't fired you, even though I said I would if you supported Jinyoung and Yi-en’s relationship. I haven’t been causing you any trouble at Team Wang either, have I?" Jackson raised an eyebrow at him. The editor nodded uneasily.

"Jackson hyung, since you are here, I think you owe Mark hyung an apology." Yugyeom dared to say.

"Is Jin going to at least let me apologize to him face to face, or he'll keep hiding his boyfriend from me?” The Chinese asked, as his eyes travelled from the maknae to the silent author next to the couch. Jinyoung didn't move, nor said anything. Nevertheless, when Jackson carefully moved in his direction, he hissed at him. 

"Do not come near him. You take one more step and I swear to God." Jinyoung glared at the Chinese as he balled his fists. Everybody in the room anticipated the Chinese's reaction to that menacing warning. Silence fell, until Mark stood up from the carpet and pushed Jinyoung away gently.

"Don't be ridiculous. He's here to apologize. Let's hear the man." The American said as he himself approached Jackson and stared deep into his eyes. Jinyoung was right behind his boyfriend, ready to intervene in case a fight broke out.

"I am sorry." Jackson said emotionlessly and took a deep breath. "I loved a woman who didn't love me. And I loathed you because she chose you over me. It's about time I accept that she's gone and that you cannot be blamed for it. I'm letting my grief go, so my hatred can decrease."

"How many times have you rehearsed this speech? I know you’re lying. But I'll play along. Let's see if you can convince them with your so-called good intentions and your half-assed apologies. Let me guess, is that part of phase 2 of your revenge? Very well, this is gonna be fun to watch. I’m sure it will get interesting pretty soon." Mark said to him in Mandarin. The others wondered what had been his response. Jackson blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat. Mark never failed to baffle him when he wanted to.

"Yi-en just accepted my apologies." Jackson gave the others a fake smile. The American smiled as well. Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at the two.

"No way! Mark, what the hell did you say to him?" The writer demanded as he pulled his boyfriend to him. "Why did you suddenly shift to Mandarin? I hate when you do that!" 

"Why? I just try to practice the language whenever I can." Mark kept lying to his boyfriend, it had become a habit now. He entwined their hands together and gave him a reassuring look. "Your friend wants to make peace with me, you should be ecstatic." The author eyed the American as if he was mad.

"I have one single question. Are you gonna stop being an asshole to my best friend?" Bambam went straight to the point.

"Yes." Jackson replied solemnly, as he walked to Bambam. "I just need a chance to prove that I am ready to bury the past, and move on. Last time Jin came to see me he begged for the life of the man he loves. I couldn't ignore his plea."

"He begged for Mark’s life, and now you finally decided to be merciful? Wow, so kind of you. Thank you so much, Jack." The Thai clicked his tongue and snickered. He wasn't convinced of Jackson's change of heart. Nobody in that room seemed to believe what he said, but Yugyeom was willing to at least be a polite host.

"Look, you can stay and eat with us if everyone is okay with it." The maknae announced. Bambam gave his boyfriend a dirty look. But before the Thai uttered a single word, a fuming writer voiced his opinion about that invitation.

"I'm your fucking cousin, and I'm not okay with it! He's plotting to kill my boyfriend for Christ's sake! How can I be okay with that?" Jinyoung roared.

"Chill, Jinyoung. He apologized for calling Mark names. Mark himself accepted his apologies. It's obvious that if he's here to make amends, the so-called revenge is cancelled. Come on, do you guys really think that the food and the drinks are poisoned?! He would be killing all of us here. As far as I know, we didn't do anything to cross him. I say we should let him stay." Youngjae commented, not really in the mood for drama. He already had lots of conflicts in his mind, he didn't need one more.

"Jin..." Jaebeom started, but the writer didn't even let him finish.

"I’m not listening! If he stays, Mark and I are leaving." Jinyoung stated firmly, and crossed his arms. Jackson stayed silent, waiting for the final verdict. He knew that after what he said to the writer at Team Wang, Jinyoung would hardly risk trusting him again, but that first step needed to be taken for him to get what he wanted.

"I was going to agree with you. I’m not taking sides here, but I don't think Sseunah should stay either." Jaebeom said as he glanced at his best friend. The words Bo Young's said to him in Jackson's office still haunted him.

"I don't mind if he stays. I can at least practice my Mandarin. My Korean teacher here told me once that constant practice is the key to keep learning a language." Mark said nonchalantly, as he sat beside Youngjae in the couch and grinned at him. The publicist immediately stood up, but said nothing. If everybody wasn't so focused on Jackson someone would have noticed how that action was odd. Mark chuckled when he watched Youngjae quickly walk to JB's side and avoid any eye contact with him.

"Mark, will you please take this seriously? You're not helping right now. It's clear that you don't care about your well- being, okay? But I do. So refrain from sputtering nonsense, will you?" Jinyoung scowled. The American scoffed.

"You know what? I am with Jae and Mark. Let the poor guy stay. Kicking Jackson out now is not ideal. Who's going to taste the food first?" The Thai snorted. "Plus, it's not like we're afraid of him. If he does have an agenda, I'd rather watch him very closely. That's what we do with enemies, right? Keep them closer?" Bambam suggested in a dark tone. That sentence made his boyfriend inhale.

"Sorry, hyung. Thanks for everything, but I think you should go." Yugyeom told Jackson in an uncomfortable tone. He was sure that it was too soon for his hyungs to reach an understanding. He just hoped that someday they were ready to make amends. He was used to have the Chinese around, since Jinyoung and him used to be really good friends. It was odd to see his cousin and Jackson fighting. He didn't know the details regarding the love triangle that involved Mark, Soo Young and Jackson in the U.S, but he wished his two hyungs could bury the hatchet at some point. He didn't think Jackson was capable of really hurting anyone. He had heard from Bambam that the Chinese was responsible for the fire in the old 777 Ways, but Yugyeom concluded that if Jackson had a genuine intention to harm the American, the bar would've caught fire with Mark inside, and not when the place was empty. As expected, Yugyeom chose to believe that Jackson wasn't as bad as bad as he seemed to be. The maknae wondered if he could do something to promote a friendly reconciliation in the future.

"But you haven't voted, Gyeom-ah. If you say he can stay, it will be a tie. Then we can get one of the cats or the dog decide his fate." Mark broke into a burst of laughter. Bambam shook his head at his friend giving him a knowing look. He knew what Mark was doing. The Thai could tell that his friend was creating a diversion. There was something really bothering the older in that apartment, and it wasn't Jackson. Everybody was focused on the Chinese, and if he left, Mark feared that whatever was upsetting him would be easily spotted by the others in that room, especially by Jinyoung. Bambam knew his friend well, and he promised himself that he would find out what was perturbing the older before that party was over.

"What's wrong with you?! You know what, don’t even answer that. We're going home, and when we get there you'll tell me why you're acting like this." Jinyoung said as he took hold of Mark's wrist and tried to drag him out of the room, but the American refused to move.

"If you wanna go, you go by yourself. I'm staying here to celebrate with everyone and perhaps admire Jia Er's deep brown eyes a bit more." Mark said in an unusual tone, as he yanked his wrist away from the younger's grasp. Jinyoung was agape as the older continued. "You can leave if you want to, and perhaps, take your darling JB with you."

Most people in the room had a puzzled look on their faces, except for Jaebeom, Bambam and Youngjae. The editor swallowed. He instantly figured out that the American wasn’t completely okay with his presence there. The publicist also knew what Mark was hinting at. And although the Thai didn't know as much as Youngjae and his husband, he had already identified the cause of his friend's distress. Jealousy. Bambam wondered if Mark was acting like that because of that dare at Nora's birthday party. But that couldn't be the reason. The American didn't seem like he cared about the kiss between the two best friends, but now, for some reason he sounded blatantly resentful. Bambam was sure that Lim Jaebeom was the one triggering Mark’s passive-aggressive behavior, he just had no idea why. The Thai kept observing his friend with doubled curiosity.

"Guys, I didn’t mean to cause any disruption here. I’m really sorry for the disturbance. I see that my presence is not welcomed yet, but it will be, with time. I’ll make sure of it… Now I should get going. Please enjoy the food. I promise it's harmless and extremely exquisite. We'll try this some other time. Have a nice afternoon." Jackson declared, and turned to Yugyeom. "Congrats, kid. Good luck at JYPE. I'm proud of you." He gave the younger a quick hug and exited the apartment.

"How does he know I got a job at JYPE?" Yugyeom frowned after the Chinese left.

"Seunnah is acquainted with the CEO of JYPE, perhaps he's mentioned you." Jaebeom commented, as he observed the undecipherable looks exchanged the between Mark and the writer. He didn't like the those.

"We should settle the table. Otherwise the food will grow cold." Youngjae announced, as he stood up and went to the kitchen. Yugyeom followed him.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Mark announced and walked out of the living room. Jinyoung would've followed his boyfriend if Jaebeom hadn't stopped him. 

"Stay here, I'll check on him." The editor assured his friend and went after the American.

"Is everything all right between you two?" Bambam approached Jinyoung with a suspicious look on his face.

"Shouldn't you go after him and ask? He's your best friend, not mine. I have no idea why the fuck he's acting like this. I can't read his mind, you know." Jinyoung replied a bit harshly. Jackson's presence had embittered his mood, and the way Mark talked about the Chinese's eyes unnerved him. Hear the two using Mandarin between themselves made his blood boil. He still felt like Jackson knew more about the American than him. Mark's behavior at their apartment earlier was already worrisome. Now the Korean didn't know what to think anymore. He couldn't tell if Mark was mad at him, or if he was frustrated with their relationship or perhaps, simply stressed. It bothered him to no end the fact that he still had a lot to learn about his own boyfriend. Sometimes it was just impossible for him to read his moods.

"Hear me out, Jin. I have kittens and a puppy to raise now. I have a bar that will be opening soon. I have an apartment to keep in order, and a boyfriend who is constantly in need of my attention. As you can see, I am quite busy these days. I understand you're a bestselling author, and I'm aware that you're diligently working on your goddamn book lately. Despite your tight schedule, even thought you might have to neglect him a little, I still want to believe that I'm doing the right thing in leaving Mark in your care. But if perhaps one day you wake up and realize that you're unable to look after my friend's happiness, please, let me know about it. I'll gladly take charge of your responsibility. Just keep in mind that the moment I do, you won't need to worry about him anymore, because you won't ever see him again, okay?" Bambam said all that without even raising his voice, yet each syllable he spoke almost made the Korean's ears bleed. He wondered if the Thai could really separate them. Jinyoung couldn't help but stare at him in awe.

Meanwhile Jaebeom and Mark argued inside the bathroom.

"What was that about!? I thought you didn't want Jin to know that you know about that night. You shouldn't be insinuating things in the middle of that living room." The editor complained, as he splashed some water on his face and looked at Mark through the large mirror in front of him. The American was sitting on the lid of the toilet, biting his nails off.

"You're one to talk! Jae says you look weird when you're on the phone with Jin. He's already suspicious of your behavior. You should try harder to deceive your husband." Mark accused, as he tried not to reveal that he himself told Youngjae about Jinyoung and the editor's drunk shag.

"What?!" Jaebeom turned to him clearly alarmed. He hadn't noticed any change on Youngjae lately.

"He told me stuff about you and your best friend. He told me how you two were too close in the past, he described to me the episode at Incheon airport before you got married...As far as I know, Jinyoung might still be in love with you even now." Mark said, with a heavy heart.

"No, no, and no. Jin and I are just friends. I don't know why my husband told you these things, but they happened a long time ago. Before he met you." Jaebeom insisted.

"Nora's party was the only time you two hooked up?" Mark demanded. The editor looked away.

"Whatever happened before he met you has no effect in the relationship you two have now." The editor assured him.

"Oh my God, you fucked him before?!" Mark struggled to keep his voice down.

"No, we haven't done nothing like that. We got drunk and fooled around sometimes. But that was before we became friends." Jaebeom tried to explain himself in vain.

"So, before you guys became friends you were fuck buddies?!" Mark was beside himself now, as his voice echoed in the bathroom.

"Keep your voice down." Jaebeom warned him.

"I'm out of here!" Mark spat and not only stomped out of the bathroom, but also ran out of the apartment. 

When an upset Jaebeom reached the living room, four confused faces stared at him.

"He has a stomachache. He went back to the apartment. Jin, you should check on him." The editor made up the lame excuse, hoping to sound convincing enough. Jinyoung quickly said his goodbyes to everyone and rushed out of there to go after Mark. Bambam also wanted to see if his friend was okay, but Yugyeom told him to give the couple some space. Youngjae felt exhaled. He wondered if his husband and the American had a row in the bathroom. He wondered how more unbearable things could get.

"Well, since the four of us are still here, let's dig in. The new pets seem to be getting along with each other well here in the living room. So let's give them some time alone and eat while the food is still warm." Youngjae suggested, struggling to sound as casual as possible. He was aware that Mark’s issue wasn’t a simple stomachache. He could tell his husband was nervous too, but he pretended to ignore that fact. As for Jinyoung, the publicist knew he wasn’t going to be able to save his relationship with the American if he kept focusing on Jackson’s possible schemes all the time. The problem was right in front of him. Youngjae just had to be patient and do what he had to do when the time came.

"Yeah, we can fix a plate for my cousin and Mark and put it in the refrigerator. They can eat later when Mark hyung's stomach is feeling better. I myself will bring it to their apartment." Yugyeom said in agreement.

"I'm sure they'll appreciate it. It's a pity that they had to leave. Perhaps Jackson could've stayed too." The publicist said without much enthusiasm. Jaebeom and the youngsters didn't comment on that, and just followed him to the dining room. The editor eyed his husband with concern while the publicist chatted with the youngsters. He wondered if the man he loved was really having doubts about him. He wondered how long Mark would be able to protect their secret. He wondered if Jinyoung would end up confessing his infidelity to his boyfriend at some point. He feared if his precious days with Choi Youngjae were inevitably coming to an end.


	42. Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is a striking resemblance between the act of love and the ministrations of a torturer.”― Angela Carter

"Hey!" Youngjae said as soon as the American opened the door. Mark was obviously not happy to see him. They very sight of the publicist reminded him of Jaebeom, and as he thought of Jaebeom, he couldn’t help but feel resentment towards Jinyoung. Four days had passed after the housewarming party at the youngsters’ house, and since then, all Jinyoung and him did was argue. The writer still hadn’t opened up about his night with JB, and Mark refused to tell his boyfriend what was really bothering him. The last fight they had, they were already throwing objects of the house at each other. It was late at night when it happened. They were in the bedroom and Mark wanted to have sex. Angry sex. The writer noticed that his boyfriend wasn’t in the mood for a ‘healthy lovemaking’ so he refused him. The Korean sat up in the bed in shock when the older suddenly threw a lampshade against the wall as a response to his rejection. Jinyoung wasn’t ready for another argument, so he called him a lunatic and walked out of the room. Mark followed him and threw a pillow at his head. Jinyoung threw it back. Mark dodged it, and recklessly yanked a picture from the hallway wall and aimed at the writer who was coming down the stairs. Jinyoung froze in the spot, when the object luckily flew past him. Mark saw the mortification in his boyfriend’s eyes and tried to apologize, but the younger locked himself in his office and ignored the American for the rest of the night. The situation in general was becoming critical by the minute. Jinyoung started spending more time in his office, and the American more time at YugBam’s apartment. Sometimes it was just less painful to be apart from each other. Bambam had tried to find out what was going on with the couple, but Mark was most of the time evasive, and Jinyoung didn’t have all the answers the Thai was looking for, or at least, he didn’t know he had them. Bambam still hadn’t found a solution for the couple’s intriguing and unidentified issues. Mark didn’t think that anyone but Jinyoung could make things better again. He still waited for his boyfriend to have the decency to tell him what happened, and ask for his forgiveness.

"Are you lost or something?" Mark asked in an unfriendly tone, narrowing his eyes at the publicist.

"Is Jinyoung home?" The younger asked in a low tone.

"Yeah, his office. What is it that you want from him?" Mark asked, not really interested in playing the polite host.

"You don't have to be so discourteous-"

"Fuck that. Why are you here? I thought we weren't talking anymore." Mark spat. He clearly had no intention to invite the other in.

"I came to see Bam. But he's not home. Since I'm already in the building I decided to stop by." The publicist replied awkwardly.

"I don't see any reason why you should. Jin is usually busy at this hour, and I'm going out." Mark said coldly.

"Wanna grab lunch?" Youngjae asked abruptly. Mark sneered at him.

"Are you for real? Aren't you afraid that I might attack you or something?" The older raised an eyebrow at Youngjae and crossed his arms.

"I just wanna talk." Youngjae insisted.

"Not in the mood." Mark said apathetically.

"Look, I've been spying on my husband's cell phone since you told me about the aftermath of Nora's birthday party. I didn’t want to believe you at first, so I didn't confront him, but now I saw proof." Youngjae lowered his head and sighed deeply.

"What do you mean you saw proof?" Mark's eyes widened considerably.

"You were right. They're cheating on us. They've been exchanging texts and intimate pictures since Jin came back from America." Youngjae clarified, becoming a little agitated.

"What?! Are you serious?" Mark's shock doubled. He thought that one single drunk night was the only thing that had happened between the two best friends. Jaebeom mentioned that they had fooled around during their college days, but that was over. That new information couldn't be true. Could the publicist be mistaken?

"I don't want your boyfriend to hear us. Can we talk somewhere else?" Youngjae asked dejectedly.

"Okay." Mark agreed, a little hesitant. If the other had found out that there was an actual affair going on, Mark wondered why the publicist hadn't barged into the writer's office and given him a piece of his mind. He wondered why Youngjae wasn't angry and unreasonable, breaking things and hitting people. But then he remembered that Youngjae wasn't him. He remembered how indignant, yet collected, Youngjae was when he saw him kiss JB in Jinyoung's office. He remembered that he came on to Youngjae during their last Korean class, and the publicist never told anyone about it. He remembered how Youngjae was not happy about the dare Bo Young came up with at Nora’s party, but never told JB not to do it. He wished the publicist was angrier, but he also remembered that being 'contained' was a Korean thing. We'll, Mark wasn't Korean, and he would not let JB and Jinyoung get away with that kind of betrayal. If what Youngjae said was true, he would have to teach those two a lesson. He shot one last glance at the door of his boyfriend's office, put on his shoes and walked out of the apartment. He felt like killing Jaebeom and making Jinyoung watch. Then he felt like killing both of them, slowly and painfully. But he wanted to see the photos first, he needed to be fueled with rage before he started to retaliate.

When he entered the publicist's car he already felt like losing his mind. Youngjae told him that he was taking him to the place he used to live before he married Jaebeom. The publicist confessed he had already packed a few of his things while JB was at Team Wang. The younger said he couldn't go back home after what he saw on his husband's phone. Mark was silent during the drive. However, he felt like if he kept listening to Youngjae's plans to leave JB, he would start punching things. He genuinely felt like breaking all the windows of the car, but he knew that the sound of glass shattering around them could easily scare the other and force him to take his eyes off the road. Mark didn't want that. A car crash would be too inconvenient now. He had another urgent list to make. Dying now wasn't on his plans. His jaw clenched, his fist clenched and the Youngjae kept talking.

"...I just wish he had the decency to ask for a divorce first. But I'm done with him. They can live happily ever after for all I care." An anguished Youngjae complained, and the very thought of a Jaebeom and Jinyoung living 'happily ever after' made Mark grimace. He inhaled, and finally voiced his need for a bit of silence.

"Stop talking, otherwise this car won't get too far." The American hissed, after his fist hit the AC in the car. Youngjae was agape at first, but didn't dare to speak again. 

The publicist brought Mark to a small apartment in that same neighborhood. When the publicist opened the door of his place, he went directly to the kitchen. Mark entered the apartment quietly and watched Youngjae open a vodka bottle and take a long sip from it.

"Where’s the proof? Why are we here?" The irate American asked dryly.

"I've thought about your suggestion." Youngjae said firmly.

"My suggestion?” The older narrowed his eyes at him.

“Have our fun too, just like they have been doing behind our backs.”

“Well, I wanna see the texts and the pictures first." Mark pressed, still struggling to keep his feelings is check. He told himself that Jinyoung was not Cameron and that his current boyfriend did deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt, even though the trust he had in him was already hanging by a thread.

"Look, I would have wanted to see for myself both of them in bed, but you didn't allow me to catch them in the act, remember? I’m telling you what I saw on JB’s phone and my words should be enough. Why would I make this up? By the way, why did you even hide their infidelity from me? It's been weeks since it happened!" Youngjae said bitterly as he approached him in the middle of the room. "Why aren’t you revolted by this damn situation we are in?"

"Nothing as it seems. Anyways, you wouldn't understand it even if I explained it to you. Now show me the goddamn photos." Mark said harshly, ignoring his question. For a moment he felt like doubting the other. He felt like his wrath could subside if Youngjae just admitted that he was lying about Jinyoung's affair. He wished that there was something that could stop him from hurting his boyfriend later. He yearned to find an excuse for his lover's disloyalty. He just didn't want to believe that hope failed him again, and that he had made the same mistake of believing that he could be loved like a normal human being. He was tired of playing the role of the forgiving boyfriend all the time. He had done that for too long. He forgave Cameron thousands of time before, even though the dealer never felt sorry for hurting him, but he wouldn't let Jinyoung have that privilege. No one was supposed to walk all over him like that ever again. That's why denying Youngjae's words was easier. "This is too unbelievable. Jinyoung wouldn't send intimate pictures of himself to anyone. He doesn't even send them to me. He's very careful about this kind of thing. He tries to protect his career as much as he can, he-"

"I thought it was unbelievable for JB to cheat on me too, but it happened, okay? Look, the pictures are in my husband's cellphone, I didn't make copies of them or anything. Why would I? Seeing them once was humiliating enough. If you can’t believe what I’m telling you right now, fuck you!” The publicist finally showed the kind of emotion Mark expected from him, raw fury. “I’m tired of this shit. It's been two years of marriage! Why couldn't I be enough?!" Youngjae said in a resentful tone. Mark gritted his teeth. He knew what the other was feeling at that moment. Yes, it was debasing, the pain infinitely excruciating. He couldn't help but think of Cameron. They were together for quite a while, Mark was monogamous and faithful, but nothing of that mattered to the man. Mark remembered that once he caught the dealer getting a blowjob from some junkie. He remembered how the dealer didn't make any motion to make the junkie stop blowing him, even though he had caught them in the act. Cameron just cared about himself and his own satisfaction, as always. Mark remembered how he screamed at him that he would go out and get his dick sucked by the first guy that appeared before him if the dealer kept cheating on him. He couldn’t forget how Cameron violently pushed the junkie away and lunged at him. Cameron broke his foot that day. The dealer told him that he would break the other one too if he raised his voice to him again. He said he would break his arms, if he mentioned other men. He kept making threats while raping him. He forced himself on Mark without sparing a single thought for his broken bones. Mark passed out from the pain. After Cameron was done with him, a doctor from the Neighborhood was called to tend to his foot. He wore a cast for several months. Now the American couldn't help but wonder what Jinyoung would do if he had other man. Would he break his foot too, after breaking his heart? He was eager to find out.

"Let's forget them for now. They'll just keep messing with us. Always hurting us with their so called ‘love’. They will never cease to make us miserable." The American muttered quietly, as he recalled that sordid episode of his life. He took the bottle from the younger, and took a sip from it. After savoring the sour liquid, that mirrored the bitterness in his heart, he gazed at the publicist. Mark dropped the bottle on the floor and watched Youngjae eye him with curiosity. "It's time for us to give them a taste of their own medicine. Do you have a bed we can use in this place?" He said at last, and before the other could answer him, he pulled the younger for a kiss. The latter didn't refuse him like the last time. He just went for it. Their kiss was hurried at first, as if they sought the flavor of their lovers’ in each other's lips. Their tongues chased a familiar rhythm, but only found an unknown cadence. Their hands searched for a certain texture of skin their fingers were used to caress, but each touch they exchanged, felt like they were exploring a foreign land. They were fully engaged in that sort of body inspection, and they didn't stop it until each piece of fabric that covered their limbs were abandoned on the floor.

When Youngjae led the American to his old bedroom, there was no reticence in their eyes. They laid on the bed and kept pushing themselves to finish what they had started. Everything was done mechanically, as if they had a mission to accomplish. Youngjae took a condom and a bottle of lube out of his drawer and placed them on the bed. He opened the bottle and laid on his back. He lubricated his entrance, he pushed a finger in and out of himself. He stretched his hole while Mark laid beside him stroking himself. When Youngjae thought he was done preparing his walls to receive Mark, he climbed on top of him, sat on his thighs and took the older's hand away from his hard length. Youngjae reached for the condom on the bed, removed it from the wrapper and unrolled it all the way down Mark's erected penis. He applied some lube on the condom, noticing how hard and thick Mark got while he covered the outside of the condom with lubricant. 

"This is a one-off. I am still married to JB. I'm only doing this as a payback. I wouldn't let another man inside me, if he hadn't kept secrets from me." He gave the dispassionate American a long stare before he positioned himself and guided Mark's tip into him. The publicist wondered how Mark could be that hard, and still look so unaffected. He let out a shy moan when he felt Mark's erection fully penetrate him. He took a second or two before he got used to the invasion and slowly started riding him. He tried not to be loud. He felt too self-conscious with the passivity in the older's eyes.

"You're cold like a machine. Are you even alive?" The publicist complained, obviously missing more than JB's endearing words and tender kisses. "This is what it must feel like to fuck a corpse."

"I wish I was corpse. I used to be one. A soulless doll. But I am not an inanimate insensate nothing anymore. That accursed writer forced my heart to beat faster, he made me ordinarily human again, and I hate him for it." Mark whispered as he grabbed Youngjae by the hips and tried to make him bounce up and down at a faster pace. When Youngjae felt the older become more responsive, running his hands all over him, he didn't hold back his whimpers and mewls anymore.

"Oh, shit!" Youngjae panted, as Mark moved his hips up, impaling him deeper.

"I wish he could see me like this, pounding his dear dongsaeng." Mark whispered. Indignation polluted each syllable he pronounced, as he gripped Youngjae by the waist and suddenly removed him from his lap. The younger was surprised by the sudden movement, but when the older told him to get on all fours he dropped himself on his elbows and opened himself up even more to allow Mark's penis to plunge deeper into his anus. Youngjae swirled his hips and met the older's strong thrusts with eagerness. The American's pace was so relentless that Youngjae could barely touch his own erection. He could barely keep his balance on the bed while Mark pummeled his ass. Rough sex was a new experience for the publicist, and although his husband had taken him from behind before, he had never felt so carelessly used like that. Mark was hitting his prostate continuously and Youngjae knew he would come without even having to jerk himself off. 

  
"Fuck, slow down. I'm gonna...ah!" He moaned loudly when he felt his own come stain the sheet underneath him. His intense orgasm made his knees give in, but before he fell completely spent on the bed, the older firmly held his hips up and kept thrusting into the younger, who simply buried his head on a pillow, still riding the waves of his peak.

  
  


"I bet your hubby doesn't make you come so hard like that." Mark muttered, as he squeezed and spread the younger’s buttocks impossibly apart, ready to shoot his load. Neither the American nor the publicist heard the front door open. When hurried footsteps reached the room, a shocked voice reached their ears.

  
  


"Jae?" Jaebeom stood there at the door petrified. For a moment, he wished he was blind. He would rather lose his sight than watch his husband being nailed by another man to the bed. Youngjae tensed, making his muscles tighten around Mark. The publicist tried to get Mark out of him as soon as he recognized the ring of that voice. But the older didn't let him get away. He released himself quickly, with a deep groan, still buried inside Youngjae, even though they had an audience.

  
"Oh, what a lovely surprise. But you already missed the best part. You should have seen him panting under me and coming all over the blanket just because my dick felt too good in his ass." Mark said viciously, as he pulled out of Youngjae, and removed the condom from his dick. Youngjae quickly covered himself with the sheets and looked away in shame. Mark left the bed with a wicked look in his eyes as he walked in JB's direction. He stood naked in front of the speechless editor, and waved the used condom in front of him. "There was a lot more of that too, during our Korean lessons." 

  
For a moment Mark thought he had seen someone behind the editor, but before he could identify who was there, Jaebeom, who finally seemed to digest what had just happened, pushed a laughing Mark to the floor and mounted on him, ready to strike.

  
"Don't touch him. Wait!" Jinyoung commanded, as he appeared in the room and held his friend's fist. "You hate violence, remember? Get off him, now!" The author added. Mark laughs died suddenly, and Youngjae gasped.

  
Mark was too stunned to see his boyfriend there. He didn't move from the floor when Jaebeom got off him. Jinyoung's hard stare, the unusual tone of his voice, his very presence there, paused all of him. Mark felt his vicious determination weaken. His boyfriend's arrival drained all the ominous intentions from his mind. He felt guilty, even though he told himself that he shouldn't. Being human was definitely more complicated than he thought.

  
  


"That's how you expected to ruin my marriage thoroughly? I did what you asked! I never said anything! Why did you have to fuck my husband!?" Jaebeom was beside himself, as he glared at Mark and then glanced to Youngjae on the bed.

  
  


"Well, you fucked his boyfriend in secret. Don't you dare play the injured party here." Youngjae finally managed to open his mouth. "By the way, I'm leaving you. I'm not coming back to that house." 

  
  


"We were drunk! It was a mistake! I don't love him, I love you!" Jaebeom argued exasperatedly, not doing a good job at justifying his infidelity.

  
  


"Haven't you seen the bottle of vodka in the living room? We were drunk too, but it wasn't a mistake. Are you ready to forgive and forget? Well, I'm not! And I forbid you to come here and try to make up excuses for your unfaithfulness." Youngjae retaliated without moving from the bed. Of course that neither him nor Mark were drunk, but he wanted his audience to know that being drunk or not, made no difference, cheating was still cheating.

"You're coming with me, Jae! Get up and get dressed. You don't live in this apartment anymore, you live with me in our house, in our home." The editor said in a commanding tone as he approached the bed.

"Right! The same home you screwed your best friend! Brilliant. How long has this been going on by the way?" Youngjae crossed his arms, and gave the editor an accusing look. While the couple argued, Jinyoung went back to the living room, picked Mark's clothes from the floor and brought them for him. Mark was still too overwhelmed to say or do anything. Jinyoung told him to get dressed before he caught a cold. The American was stunned, but he still did what the writer asked. He moved from the floor and started putting on his clothes. All the time he wondered why Jinyoung was so unfazed. _Why the hell wasn't he threatening to break his bones_?

"I don't know what this guy told you about that night, but it's probably a bunch of lies. Something happened between Jin and I, but we do not remember. Now listen to me, Choi Lim! I won't let you near this filthy foreigner any longer. I'm your husband, and I can't let you do that to yourself." Jaebeom kneeled on the bed and reached for his arm, but Youngjae refused to be touched.

"My husband?! Not for much longer!" The publicist scoffed. Jaebeom's eyes screamed despair.

"Jackson was right about him, all the time! He ruins lives! He ruined Soo Young’s, and now he's trying to ruin ours! You do not want to end up like her. He's a fucking fatal disease. You stay around him too much and you'll end up with a noose around your neck!" Jaebeom spat, seething with anger. Mark's eyes fixed on Jinyoung, but the writer didn't interfere in the couple's argument. Jinyoung swallowed when he heard JB's words, they clearly bothered him to no end, yet, he remained silent.

"Well, he spent two years married to you, and he ended up with a broken heart. I say that a noose causes less damage." Mark turned to JB, ignoring what his boyfriend could think of him at that moment. Jinyoung gave him an incredulous look. He saw JB leave the bed and march in the foreigner's direction again, but he placed himself between the two.

"JB, go home. I mean it!" Jinyoung announced, putting a hand on his chest. The editor eyed him as if he was insane. But then he realized what he had said about Soo Young, and cursed himself for it. He had promised Jinyoung to be on his friend's side, not on the Chinese's, but now he had just supported Jackson's claims.

"I'm not leaving here without Jae." The editor said, frustrated.

"He's clearly not leaving here with you." Mark shot back. Jaebeom glared at him again, but Jinyoung turned his friend’s face back to him.

"Hey, look at me. Don’t listen to him. Jae needs time. You can both solve this, I know you can, but now is not the right moment." The writer advised the incensed editor, while Youngjae just pretended to ignore them. Mark, on the other hand, was more than anxious. He wondered why Jinyoung wasn't as vexed as JB. The American was not satisfied with Jinyoung's reaction, and deep down he feared that maybe, the writer didn't really care about the fact that he had just slept with another man. He couldn’t help but think that if Jinyoung didn’t care, it was because he didn’t love him. Therefore, he kept provoking the editor, since he was the only one losing his mind in that room.

"There's no right time to fix shit like this. 2jae is obviously cancelled now. How can you possibly think-"

"Shut up, Mark." Jinyoung cut him off coldly, without turning to him. He only focused on JB. "Go to the garage, start the car and wait for me. I'll be right behind you." The writer looked right into his friends' eyes, and for a moment, Jaebeom felt like giving in to his request.

"Just go, Lim Jaebeom." Youngjae shouted from the bed. 

"Yeah, you've already seen enough. The show is over. Just get the hell out. I'll keep your hubby's bed warm for the time being." Mark teased mercilessly, as he walked back to the bed fully clothed, and sat beside Youngjae. Jaebeom lost his shit completely and before Jinyoung could stop him, the editor grabbed a large photo frame that was on top of a dresser and threw it at Mark, but the object ended up landing on his husband's leg. The yelp released by the publicist worried everyone in the room. Jinyoung and JB rushed to the bed, and Mark was already trying to check the damage on the younger's leg.

"Get the hell out! All of you! Out now! Leave me alone!" Youngjae got up from the bed with difficulty, still wrapped around the sheets. He refused to let anyone touch him, especially Jaebeom.

"Jae, darling, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to! Just let me see if you need a doctor." Jaebeom begged, while Jinyoung tried to hold him back.

"Fuck you! What I need is for you to leave! You know what?! It turns out you are just another abusive Lim. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, does it? Well, don't expect me to be a punching bag like your mother was! Get the fuck out, now!" The editor screamed at him, and Jaebeom finally relented. His expression changed, he was thoroughly crushed now.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. None of it. I'd never hurt you on purpose. You know that… I'll go now, but I'll be back, Jae." Jaebeom told him firmly, and then shook his head with disgust as he eyed the American, “You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to Jin’s life.”

"Right! And you must be the best, right?! Take him with you then. Don't leave your mistress behind!" Mark exclaimed, as he glanced at Jinyoung, who narrowed his eyes at him. Jaebeom just shook his head in consternation and walked out of the room. The American blinked, and swallowed, still unable to digest what Jaebeom had just told him. He couldn’t help but recall what Jinyoung once said to him in LA, _‘You’re always rough, Mark! Your very existence is mercilessly rough on me. You constantly make me bleed in all possible ways!’_ That memory stung, and made a lot of sense now, but he didn’t care.

"I said I want to be alone. What are you still doing here, Jinyoung? You've got what you wanted after so long! Congratulations, my husband is all yours!" Youngjae protested, still holding the sheets around his frame. Mark tensed. Now that the editor wasn't there for him to bully, he felt that the room had become somewhat smaller, and when Jinyoung stood right before him, his breath hitched.

"Can I have a word?" Jinyoung had a rare expression on his face. Mark couldn’t foresee his actions.

"Didn't you hear Jae? He wants you out-"

"Is that what you want too?” Jinyoung asked without taking his eyes off him. “Do you want me to leave you here and never come back?"


	43. Retribution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Be leery of silence. It doesn't mean you won the argument. Often, people are just busy reloading their guns.” ― Shannon L. Alder

"Let's go to the other room." An uncertain Mark replied quickly, as he grabbed Jinyoung's hand and dragged him out of the bedroom. As soon as they reached the tiny living room, the writer briskly removed his boyfriend’s hand from him. That simple gesture made the older feel like Jinyoung had just stabbed his heart with an ice pick.

"How long do you know about Nora’s party? What was JB talking about? What did he mean when he said he did what you asked?" The author crossed his arms and waited. Since he entered that apartment, nothing he saw or heard made sense. His boyfriend was in bed with his dongsaeng, and they both seemed to think sleeping together was a justifiable retaliation for his drunk night with JB. He was scared and angry, but he swore to himself that he wouldn’t react like his friend did. A dialogue could give him the answers he wanted, but his fists wouldn’t. Mark was not an easy character to read. He knew his boyfriend had the tendency to fight fire with fire. Jinyoung urged himself to calm down before he exploded.

"Is that what you're worried about? You just saw me fucking another guy and you want to know what kind of threat I used on your dear friend?!" Mark snarled, as he glared at him.

"Jae is not just another guy! He's my dongsaeng, and Jaebeom's husband for Christ’s sake! They are my fucking friends! How can you mess with their marriage like this!?" Jinyoung started raising his voice too. He was trying really hard to be reasonable.

"Well, you weren't so considerate of Jae, or his marriage while you were fucking his husband, were you?!" Mark accused, and the other averted his eyes from him.

"I don’t even know how it happened! When did you find out about JB and I? How? Did he tell you?" The writer's tone was full of regret now. He couldn’t believe that all that time, his supposedly concealed episode of unfaithfulness was the cause of Mark’s erratic behavior. He wished he had known it sooner, before things drastically escalated.

"It doesn't matter how I found out. I just did." Mark was too ashamed to bring up the fact that he knew about his boyfriend's cheating for almost a month now. It would be too mortifying for him to confess to his boyfriend that he would be willing to give him a second chance, if the Korean came clean and asked for forgiveness earlier.

"Mark, I'm sorry, okay! That damn night happened somehow, but it doesn't mean that I am still in love with JB. You must believe me when I tell you that Lim Jaebeom is just my editor and-"

"Stop saying his name in my presence!" Mark shouted and gave the other a challenging look. "Why don't you tell me how you feel about your dongsaeng and I sleeping together?"

“Why should I care about what so many others had before?! It was just meaningless sex! You’ve done it multiple times in the past!” Jinyoung hissed, letting his outrage show.

“Is that your subtle way of calling me a whore?! You should know I hardly get offended by it.” Mark spat, although he seemed quite insulted by the younger’s words. Jinyoung gasped, regretting what he had just said. He was furious at Mark, but he didn’t mean to be that aggressive.

“No, baby! Of course not. I didn’t mean it like that.” The Korean shook his head in frustration. He was obviously upset by the fact that Mark cheated on him as a form of retaliation. He felt like slapping his dongsaeng for letting Mark seduce him. He was more than jealous, he was fit to be tied. And in his emotionally injured state, he let his exasperation speak louder than his reason. 

“What did you mean it then, Nyoungie?” The acerbic way Mark uttered his nickname made him shudder.

"All right! Let's focus on you and Jae for now. Isn't that what you want? Fine! You wanna hear my opinion about it? Well, Markie, my angel, I know why you did this." Jinyoung started in a bitter tone.

"Do you? Aren't you a smart one? Let’s hear it." The American said sarcastically. 

"You're testing me. You've done it before. You wanted to see how I would react to your betrayal, you wanted to see how much of Cameron Zhou I have in me! Do you really think I don’t know how your disturbed mind work sometimes?! Let me guess, did you expect me to stab the both of you in bed? Or perhaps let Jaebeom beat the shit out of you?" The Korean raised an eyebrow at him.

"I am going to tell you what I expected, Jinyoung! I expected you to be honest with me! I really hoped that you were serious when you said you made space in your life for me! I wanted to give you a home, and I wanted for you to be mine! You should've told me how you felt about JB a long time ago! I would've backed off, I would've understood. But you didn't! You kept stringing me along, you asked me to make room in my heart for you, you bought me a bar, you called me your boyfriend, you talked about marriage, kids, and you said you fucking loved me!" Mark promised himself he wouldn’t cry, not in front of him. He felt a lump in his throat, but he wouldn’t cry. Being human was harder than he thought, but he would not cry.

"And I do! Mark, babe, I do! I meant everything I said before. I understand why you might think I deceived you, but I didn’t. Nora’s party was a total blur. I couldn’t confess to you something I didn’t even remember! There's nothing going on between Jaebeom and I, I swear to God." Jinyoung approached him, but the American brushed him away.

"I'm not gonna let your lies control how I feel, okay? No one is gonna have this kind of power over me anymore. I may have made the same mistake again, but this ends now! Even though you sound too sincere, and even though I yearn to believe you, I won't." The older felt his heart break in tiny pieces, but he wouldn’t cry.

"I betrayed your trust, I know that, Mark. I can't even imagine how hard it was for you to trust someone again, but please listen to me-"

"Just go, Jinyoung. We're done. I’m not going to let you deceive me with your fake sweetness anymore. Go and resume your romance with your goddamned college crush!" The American cut him off mercilessly. The Korean couldn’t help but get even more irritated by his stubbornness.

“Oh, and you know all about college crushes, don’t you?! At least mine wasn’t a drug dealer who bet me up, turned me into a criminal and scarred me for life! He didn’t scar me to the point of making me believe that I’m unworthy of any kind of love.” Jinyoung retorted, and the moment the words left his mouth, he cursed himself all over again. The heart-rending expression on Mark’s face pained him.

“Well, you don’t have to be around a scarred thing like me anymore. We both know this would never work.” The American’s tone was low but intense. Excruciating. Jinyoung would not accept the break up, he refused to.

"Just like that?! You can't expect me to give up on you this easy. If you end this relationship I’ll be the scarred one. I didn’t mean what I said, you force this things out of me…” The Korean paused and gave him a pleading look. “Mark, I cannot breathe properly if you're not around. You help me breathe. And I know you feel the same, you need me too. I can feel your love for me. You went off the rails today because I hurt you. You got into bed with Youngjae just to teach me a lesson. And believe me, I've learned it. I'm more than upset to know that Jae had you in a way that only I, your boyfriend should have. Now, I understand how you felt when you found out about me and JB. We're even. We're both fucking wounded. Let's move on from our mistakes and be happy again, the two of us." Jinyoung declared as he approached the older again, and placed a hand on the nape of his neck. The older didn’t stop him this time. The Korean gently brought Mark's face closer to his, and slid his other arm around his waist. "Don't you see, babe? We're already breathing the same air. We infuse life into each other. We won't survive if we're apart. The oxygen I inhale is yours too. Our respiratory system is one now. We run in each other's bloodstream. We'll suffocate without our borrowed lungs."

"Jin-youngie." Mark whispered in a weak tone, as he felt Jinyoung's hot breath against his lips. He involuntarily opened his mouth a little to capture the warm breeze the other exhaled. Their lips were almost attached to each other. Their limbs connected like two powerful magnets, the unblinking fire in their eyes fed the same flames. Their souls were in complete sync, the rhythm of their heartbeats built a single symphony, and their feelings danced to it. The eminent kiss would have consummated that amalgamation of emotions, if they weren't interrupted.

"I'd rather if you two patched things up somewhere else." The annoyed voice came from a fully clothed Youngjae, who stared hard at them while leaning on the door of his bedroom. Mark unwillingly disconnected himself from the author and took a few steps away from him.

"We're not. He's leaving." The American said, turning away from the despondent expression etched on his boyfriend's face. Jinyoung gave him a forlorn look, and then eyed the unforgiving publicist glaring at them.

"Jae, I know it's difficult for you to understand this now, but I had no intention of screwing things up for you and your husband. I appreciate you two a lot, and I never meant to cause any damage to your marriage. Once you married JB, I let go of him. I used to be infatuated with my best friend, it's true, but that's in the past. I do love Mark now, and whatever happened between JB and I was as reckless as what happened between you and my boyfriend a few minutes ago. I'll give you time to think things through, but eventually, I'll need him back. After you calm down, I suggest you consider a reconciliation with your husband. It would be a waste to throw away these 2 years of marriage because of one single stupid night. You know that. If he didn’t tell you anything, it was because he didn’t want to jeopardize what you two have." The writer paused, sighed and turned to the American. "I passed another goddamn test, and I'll pass a hundred more. I am not an echo of the worst years of your life. Our relationship is not a mistake. You and I have 100% of chance to survive this unfortunate episode. We can make things work, and I truly hope you can see that. Zhou is dead, you made sure of that. I am not him, and I’ll never be him. You know where to find me. I'll be waiting, Mark."

The writer swallowed and quietly left the apartment. Before Jinyoung walked away, his boyfriend could swear he saw his eyes water, and a drop of tear escape from the corner of the younger's eyes. Mark felt like life was leaving him. It took him a couple of seconds to realize that his legs were already following the receding sound of Jinyoung's footsteps. But before he left the apartment, Youngjae grabbed his arm and kept him from running after the writer.

"Don't do it. I felt like chasing after JB too, but I also have my own pride, okay? We mustn't take them back so easily. It's too soon. They need to recognize how indispensable we are in their lives. They need to realize their own mistake. Let them be miserable for a few more days." Youngjae argued, but Mark felt like pushing him away and ignoring his advice.

"We'll be miserable too." He muttered.

"We'll manage it. We have each other, right? Whenever one of us feel like giving in, or crumbling down, the other should be a fortress of support. After all, we're in the same boat."

"I don't need a fortress of support. I need Jinyoung." Mark stated honestly.

"Are you confident that he needs you as much as you need him?" Youngjae gave him a challenging look, and Mark huffed.

"Okay. You won. It's just for a couple of days, right? Let's see how they manage without us." The American chewed on his lips and eyed the door with longing.

“Well, our plan might backfire too. They might get together instead of missing us.” The publicist said thoughtfully.

"Let’s hope you’re wrong about that. At least JB seemed desperate to get you back.” Mark said as he felt a pang in his chest. Was the writer also desperate to reconcile with him too? Jinyoung’s eyes were too sincere, and the harsh words his boyfriend said to him could’ve been said out of anger. He thought that perhaps, Jinyoung did love him, and if he did, they could overcome that dreadful phase of their relationship. Time would tell. “I've gotta call Bam, he needs to hear about this from me, before he freaks out.” Mark searched both his pockets and found nothing. He gave the publicist a puzzled look.

“Maybe you dropped your phone in my car. We can go to the garage now and I’ll help you find it.”

“Wait, how come they found us here?” Mark asked abruptly, only noticing now that there was something off about what had taken place in that apartment.

“I texted them while we were in the car. I didn’t want them to have doubts about what happened between us. They had to see it with their own eyes.” Youngjae confessed without blinking. Mark frowned at the publicist, and suddenly realization hit him.

“We didn’t even get to confront them about the texts and pics you saw. You never mentioned them to JB when you accused him of cheating on you.” There was a high level of suspicion in the American’s voice now.

“Yeah. Does it matter?”

“There are no texts, and no pictures, right?” Mark’s eyes widened, as he started to comprehend the extent of his own naivety. “There’s no affair going on between JB and Jinyoung.”

“You finally figured that out. I was told that you’re smart and dangerous. Well, as I can see, not so much.” Youngjae shook his head at him, while giving him a disdainful look.

“Wait, the texts and pics might be a lie, but I still found both of them in bed at your house.” The expression of shock in Mark’s face made the other chuckle.

“Jack and I put them there. They were totally smashed.” Youngjae said as he lit a cigarette. “All we had to do was undress them and spread some gel mixed with body lotion on the sheets. They must’ve panicked so bad in the morning that they jumped to conclusions. Don’t worry, I wasn’t the one who took Jinyoung’s clothes off, Jack did. He’s straight, so you don’t have to worry about anyone taking advantage of your boyfriend. I only undressed my husband.”

“Why are you helping Jia Er? How could you use your own husband for something like that?” Mark was too astounded at that moment. He would’ve never guessed that Choi Youngjae was in cahoots with the Chinese.

“I like to think that I’m saving Jin from a fate worse than his late sister’s. I can’t have my brilliant hyung date a drug dealer. You’re no good for him.” The younger stated calmly.

“No, it’s more than that. You wouldn’t go that far just to-”

“Once you disappear, no one will blame Seunnah. After what JB and Jinyoung witnessed today, they won’t suspect that this is all part of a plan. Everyone will think that you decided to go back to America, after the mutual cheating matter. Even your dear Bambam will be unable to tell that this is phase 2 of Jack’s revenge. You see, we just needed to tear you and Jinyoung apart, before we got a chance to get rid of you.” Youngjae revealed, without a sign of remorse in his expression.

“How do you plan to get rid of me? How do you intend to make me disappear? I’d like to see you try. I’m not going anywhere.” Mark gave him a murderous look and towered over him.

“Jack mentioned that you could get a bit violent once you found out the truth, so he told me to tell you that Daniel Stravos is waiting for you downstairs.”

“Dan?” Mark’s astonishment was clear. Why was that man in Korea? How could he be alive? After that episode at the penthouse, he thought he would never see that excuse for a human being again. Did Jinyoung lie to him? He never heard anything about Jackson’s involvement with Stravos. There wasn't a way for him to wrap his mind around all that information.

“He said you two are good old friends.” The publicist added.

“Jia Er might be his fucking friend, not me!” A nervous Mark shouted, as he already contemplated ways to escape that apartment without crossing paths with the man. “Look, you don’t know who this guy is, or what he’s capable of! Jia Er has no idea-”

“You’re not our problem anymore, Mark, and I really don’t care who this American friend of yours is.”

“Youngjae, listen to me, you have to help me!” Mark said, as he shook the younger by his shoulders. “This man is a vicious criminal, a heinous prick! I cannot go back with him. Look, I know you’re not a bad person. You just heard one version of the story and you think you know everything, but you don’t! You’ve gotta call the police now!”

“For what? To arrest you?” Youngjae spat, and Mark knew he couldn’t change the other’s mind within such a small period of time. He could even imagine all the terrible things Jackson told the publicist about him. Jinyoung once pulled a gun at him before he got to know the whole story. It would take more than a few sob stories to convince Youngjae that he didn’t mean anyone any harm.

“This is not right, deep down you know it’s not. You will regret this. Jinyoung will find me. ” He stated, even though he himself thought that that sentence sounded too far-fetched.

“He’ll forget you.” Youngjae declared and Mark grimaced. That prediction did make more sense than his. However, something else also made sense.

“Oh, and who’s going to make him forget me? You?” The American narrowed his eyes at the younger, as he seemed to figure out the final pieces of that puzzle.

“There, you are indeed smart.” Youngjae said mockingly.

“That was a hell of an acting. So you fancy your husband’s best friend? That’s interesting, yet unbelievable. Are you for real?” Mark scowled, refusing to accept the publicist’s motives.

“I was in middle school when I met Jin. I had a hard time getting used to this big city when I was a teenager. I had recently left Mokpo, my hometown, and even my accent was criticized by other students. They bullied me nonstop, till one day a senior student scolded a few of them for making fun of me. Park Jinyoung was his name. He stood up for me and even helped me make friends in the school. He was a very popular class president, but also quite humble. It was impossible not to fall for his charms. He made me feel safe. We spent several lunch breaks together. He was a total prince, and I told myself that if one day I got married, it had to be to him. My heart broke when he graduated. The thought of never seeing him again crippled me, but I still had to finish the school years I had left without my favorite hyung. We still talked on the phone, but after a few months, he stopped messaging me and picking up my calls. It took me a while to realize that he had changed his number. My heart broke one more time when I realized that I might never talk to him again. Years later, his first bestseller hit the shelves. I devoured it in one go. I was ecstatic about it, I knew I could have a chance to get in contact with him again. But he wasn’t the kind of author who responded to his fan mails or used social media to communicate with his readers. He was the extremely discreet type. Then I decided I had to work at the Publishing Company that printed his books. I did all I could to get a job at Team Wang. Jackson still interviewed every single new employee in person at the time. He admired my impassioned speech about the importance of authors like Park Jinyoung to the Korean literature. When I started working there, I truly hoped to have a chance to see him and I did. Soon I realized Jinyoung was friends with the owner of the company and that Lim Jaebeom, his editor, was also his best friend. One lucky day I approached him, Jackson, and JB at the canteen of the company. I introduced myself and fortunately, he remembered me. The four of us went out for drinks later. The three of them were pretty close, but JB and Jin were so close that I thought they were dating. Soon, it became a routine for us to meet up at weekends and explore all kinds of bars in Seoul. Jinyoung introduced me to Yugyeom when he brought his cousin to a few of those gatherings. Jinyoung never failed to make me feel like I truly belonged in a place, no matter where we were. At some point, I got promoted and I started working on the same floor of the editing team of the company. JB came to my desk almost everyday, and we had coffee together during breaks. He was nice and I really felt special for getting the attention of Jinyoung’s best friend. Then one day Jaebeom asked me out on a date. It was only the two of us, and I started to realize that he wanted to be more than friends with me. I told him how I felt about Jinyoung right away, and he asked me why I had never confessed my feelings to him. I didn’t have an answer for that. He told me he would stop asking me out once I told Jin about my feelings for him. But I never dared to open my heart to Jin. JB and I went on many dates after that one. Later Jinyoung found out about those dates and told me to stop seeing his friend. He claimed that since Jaebeom and I worked in the same company, our relationship was not appropriate. But I didn’t fail to see the despair in his eyes. He suffered from the same condition as me, unrequited love. He loved JB as much as I loved my middle school idol, him. If I wasn’t too confident about confessing to Jin before, after I figured out that he was head over heels for his editor, I gave up on him completely, and started dating JB for real. After a year, Jaebeom and I moved in together, although Jinyoung advised us not to. He urged us to take things slow, but the truth was that he couldn’t bear to see us together and seemingly happy. He would never guess that all I wished was that he could forget Jaebeom, so I could have a chance with him in the future. I told myself that I was going to cure Jin from his unrequited love in a way or another. Time passed by quickly while JB and I started to get used to living together. Jinyoung would still hang out with us from time to time, although he didn’t see me as his sweet dongsaeng anymore. When JB proposed to me, I didn’t give him an answer right away. But when a furiously drunk Jinyoung called me the me next day, and told me to break things off with his friend because I wasn’t good enough for him, I quickly made up my mind. Then I said yes to JB and we got engaged. Jinyoung pretended that his drunk call never happened, and I did the same. He tolerated my presence in his best friend’s life, he didn’t have a choice. Six months later, Jaebeom and I decided to get married in New York. The incident at Incheon airport sadly happened, and Jaebeom finally revealed to me bits and pieces of his and Jinyoung’s college days. Jaebeom said that Jin wanted a relationship with him back then, but he rejected him and told him that they could only be friends. Jaebeom told me that he had noticed me the first day I started working at Team Wang. He said he had mentioned me to his friend, and that he believed Jin was over him when he encouraged him to pursue me without even knowing who I was at the time. Jaebeom told me he never hid from Jinyoung how he felt about me, especially when he found out that Jin I already knew each other, and went to the same school. Supposedly, Jin had given us his blessings and wished us luck when JB expressed his intention to marry me. Jaebeom was shocked when Jinyoung made that scene at the airport. I felt bad for Jin, but I still married JB. Jack and Yugyeom were at the wedding ceremony, but Jin never showed up. Unexpectedly, somehow, Jin and I got closer after his best friend and I became husbands. I guess that he got used to the idea that once JB got married to me, there was no turning back. I arranged several blind dates for him in order to find out if he was really over his editor, and the results were always the same. Jinyoung seemed to insist on staying single. After Soo Young died, and Jin was unable to write a single page, we were all worried about him. He started spending more time with Jackson than with any of us. When he took off to America, I had no idea that he went there for revenge. When he came back, I was astonished to hear that he had found himself a Californian boyfriend. The moment I laid my eyes on you, the moment I saw how he looked at you, I knew he was over JB. Can you imagine the panic I felt when I realized that what he felt for you couldn’t even compare to what he once felt for Jaebeom? You weren’t a simple college crush! You two were already living in the same apartment, and there was something different in the way he smiled whenever you were around. Yugyeom kept saying that Jinyoung had found the love of his life! I thought I had lost him forever then. I envied you. It was clear that he wasn’t going to discard you like he did with his other crappy blind dates. You have no idea how I felt when I witnessed Jack’s outburst at Nora’s party. I was extremely mad a Jaebeom when I realized that he knew about the revenge plan all along, even before Jin left Korea, and never mentioned anything to me. I had asked my husband multiple times what was wrong between him, Jin and Jackson, but he evaded all my questions. Since that strange dinner at Jinyoung’s apartment that ended up with a glass of kaoliang thrown against a wall, I had noticed that Jaebeom knew more than he was letting on. My own husband kept me in the dark all that time! I only learned about the truth much later. When Jackson left Nora’s party with a bleeding nose, I wanted to know everything regarding that revenge, every single detail of that sordid story. So late that night, I called Seunie. He was the only who bestowed me pure, raw honesty. I couldn’t let someone like you poison the life of my dearest hyung. He asked me if I wanted to help him save Jin and teach my husband a lesson at the same time. I told him yes and said he could come over. When he came back to the house, you were already sleeping in my bed, while Jinyoung and Jaebeom were totally passed out on the couch. We did what he had to do to make you leave Jin. You were supposed to catch them in bed and break things off with him. However, things didn’t go as planned. Jackson and I waited for a reaction, but you did nothing. You kept quiet, and so did my fucking husband and his dear friend. I really expected that Jaebeom would tell me about his supposed infidelity, but as always, he kept his goddamn mouth shut. Teaching you Korean was just a way to get to know you better, but I’ve never met someone as introverted and vague as you. Jack told me to spice things up a bit, so I put more doubts in your head on our last Korean class. I didn’t really expect that you would come on to me though. You never failed to surprise me with your unpredictability. Cheating on JB was out of question, of course. But then I noticed at the housewarming party how you were almost losing it. I saw how JB still tried to pretend that nothing had happened between Jinyoung and him. And I realized how Jinyoung was so desperately in love with you. The way he shielded you from Jack was something else. I didn’t even know that Jack would show up at that housewarming party, nor that he was the one who sent those invitations. Our Seunie always seems to have a secret agenda that no one knows about. He caught me by surprise when he appeared at Gyeom’s apartment. But I knew he was just monitoring the progress of our plans. Later I told him how you were furious at Jinyoung because of his supposed affair with JB, and how you blatantly suggested that we should fuck. Jackson told me that I should do it. He told me that a rather radical approach was necessary. You’re not bad looking, Mark, but I still had reservations about cheating on my husband. Then Jack told me that once you were gone, Jin would be heartbroken, but single again, and I would be able to take advantage of that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, my lovely readers!  
> Stopping by to wish you all a great new year!  
> Thanks to all of you who read, commented, and even made me laugh throughout the difficult days of 2020.  
> This fic is still has some gloomy vestiges of 2020...but let's just keep telling ourselves that comforting chapters might pop up at some point. Believe it, or not...!XD  
> Don't be scared of what you'll be reading in the next following chapters. Remember there's a tag with happy ending somewhere here.  
> We're still far away from chapter 777, so stay strong yorubun!^^  
> Hwaiting! Happy 2021!


	44. Phase 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”― Friedrich W. Nietzsche

“Why would you want that? You’re married, for Christ’s sake! You fucking have Jaebeom already!” An appalled Mark exclaimed, after hearing the publicist’s unbelievable tale.

“He’s not Jinyoung though.” Youngjae retorted, without really pondering how he would pursue the writer once Mark was gone.

“No, of course he isn’t. Because Jaebeom is the one you love. You’re just too blind to see it. Think about it, would you really date a guy, move in with him, marry him, raise pets with him, even though you’re allergic to fur, just to conquer Park Jinyoung?! How dense are you?!” Mark shook his head in disbelief, as he came to the conclusion that Jackson’s modus operandi was still the same. The Chinese once had manipulated Jinyoung into bringing him to Korea and now Jackson was using Youngjae to make sure everyone believed that he had enough reasons to disappear.

Mark had really underestimated his enemy. He was vexed and happy at the same time. Although he was obviously mad for being deceived by the JackJae duo, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat relieved that Jinyoung hadn't cheated on him with Jaebeom. That meant everything the writer told him was never a lie. That meant his boyfriend had no similarity with Cameron Zhou. That meant someone really loved the vestige of humanity still present in him. That also meant he did waste his time doubting Jinyoung's intentions, and making bad judgments about him. Youngjae’s revelations gave him some sort of comfort, but also made him acknowledge something crucial regarding the situation he was in. He couldn't just go after the author and resume their relationship, could he? Jackson and his employees were out there. The Chinese was not as irrelevant as Mark thought. He wasn't the kind of enemy who promptly made his threats clear. Jia Er didn't just want to end his life to avenge his late fiancée. He wanted to make Mark wish he was dead.

Jackson was already able to cause severe instability to Youngjae's marriage, and promote almost irreparable problems to Mark’s relationship with Jinyoung. The American could not foresee his next blow, and that fact drove him to feel that he should protect Jinyoung from future torments. If he stayed with him, the Korean would certainly be affected by the Chinese's wrath. The writer could end up suffering the consequences of Jackson's insidious attacks and mind games. Mark concluded that he had to fix his issues with the Chinese before he could make things better for him and Jinyoung. Mark had to admit that Jia Er played his cards well, and he couldn't help but think that the Chinese had more ammunition in store, and several other back up plans ready to be executed when necessary. Since Daniel Stravos was alive and kicking, maybe Jia Er had also decided to resurrect some old acquaintances of him. Former followers of Ito Hara, old worshippers and patrons of the of the Collector's Case, nameless victims Mark himself made throughout his years of criminal activities, and thousands of others skeletons in the American's closet. The possibilities were limitless. Mark could deal with Stravos, since the man mostly wanted sex from him, but he wasn't really sure if the dealer was alone. He usually never was. He was always working for someone powerful and often joining the winning party. He had betrayed the Collector once, he would frequently make deals behind Cameron's back, and he used to sell information of certain gangs to other rival gangs. Dan was a jack-of-all-trades. Mark assumed that Jackson had lied to Jinyoung about Daniel's death on purpose. That vase at the penthouse couldn't be enough to finish him. A head trauma was not a big deal for the likes of him. He should've guessed that the infamous Dan wouldn't die so easily. Daniel Stravos was a name that he shouldn't have crossed so prematurely from his list. Mark had to be careful with that one. However, Youngjae was another story. The publicist could be desperate and stupid, but he was not murderous. Mark wondered if he would have time to at least make the younger realize how bad was the influence of Jackson in his life.

“Haven’t you listened to everything I say? Everything I did-”

“You just did what Jia Er told you to do! He manipulated your feelings. Don’t you see? You might’ve had this stupid crush on Park Jinyoung a long time ago, but the one you married was JB! You don’t even realize how mindless you’ve been! You convinced yourself that you were in love with Jin, your partner in crime got into your head, and then made you ignore the fact that you had already found someone right for you. You’re just mad at JB because he kept secrets from you, and that’s it!”

“You don’t know what you’re saying…” Youngjae started, and for a minute, his determination wavered.

“When we were in bed, Jae, did you even think of Jinyoung? Of course not! You even tried to get my dick out of your ass the moment JB came into the room! Remember what you said to me before you started riding me? You said that you were still married to JB. You said you were only letting me fuck you as a payback. You claimed that you would not let another man inside you if JB hadn't kept secrets from you. But all the time you were aware that your husband didn’t really cheat on you! You stupid ass just felt left out because JB didn’t tell you about Jia Er’s revenge, nor opened up about his supposed extra-marital sex, that never happened! And because of that, you idiot, you simply considered his silence a betrayal! How fucked up is that?! Jack royally screwed with your mind!"

“Jack is not like that! I- I did what I had to do to keep Jin safe from you…You’re a bad person, you’re a monster. Jaebeom let you worm yourself in Jin’s life even though he knew how toxic you are for Jin. He supported his best friend’s demise and kept quiet about it! And yes, he also failed to be honest with me after he thought he had slept with Jinyoung! His behavior leads me to conclude that if he had really cheated on me, I would never know about it, because he would never have the balls to admit it to my fucking face!” Youngjae’s lips quivered, as he tried to remember why he listened to Jackson in the first place. His reasons sounded immensely weak and baseless to his own ears, even though he was so sure of them hours ago. He didn’t really feel like chasing Jinyoung now, nor ever. He felt cheap, petty, and like a complete imbecile. Somehow, he himself seemed to understand the mistake he had made. Jaebeom did not deserve his perfidy, he never did, not to that extent. Not at all.

“Did you know that I threatened your husband? Did you know I was the one who forced him to keep his mouth shut!? I claimed that I would destroy his marriage if he told you what had happened between him and his best friend at Nora’s party. If Jaebeom hid things from you, it was because he was just too afraid of a divorce, Jae! He fucking loves you!”

“Why would you threaten him? What would you gain from that?” The Korean eyed him confusion. All his beliefs and feelings were being deconstructed one by one. What was he thinking when he put his own husband to sleep naked next to his best friend? What was he thinking when he himself got in bed with another man? What was he thinking when he decided that Jackson’s motives were credible and his strategies were well-grounded?

“I thought I could keep Jinyoung that way.” Mark replied dejected. “But even if I can’t keep him now, I doubt you will be able to-”

“Don’t you think I don’t know that?! It took him years to forget JB! But you? I don’t even know how he will get over you. How can one cure an incurable disease?” Youngjae accused, though he felt quite remorseful at the moment. “Even though you’re a cheater in his eyes now, it’s not like-”

“A cheater? Well, at least I wasn’t the one enjoying a foreigner’s dick pummeling my married ass minutes ago! It turns out, Jae, you are the real cheater in this whole fucked up story.” The American retorted, and the Korean gasped. The latter was unable to deny that fact. He did not have a plausible excuse for his actions, so he just replicated Jackson’s unreasonable rationale.

“You killed Soo Young, you would end up killing her brother too, sooner or later. You’re a trafficker, a sex worker and a disgusting outlaw! I can’t believe Jin fell for such a monster. Just go back the way you came, Mark, and disappear from our lives.” Youngjae muttered, too ashamed to acknowledge his own bad judgment. His words really struck a chord though. Mark was once a monster, and he would never deny that. But he didn’t kill Soo Young and he had no intention of hurting Jinyoung either. He was tired of listening that he was the cause of her death, he was tired of hearing that he was no good for the writer. It made him really mad the fact that Youngjae deceived him all this time and still blamed him for a crime he did not commit. He was heartless to many of his victims, but when it came to the Park siblings, he could never bring himself not to have a heart. He didn’t know why. What he did know was that he was being punished by the wrong people and by the wrong sin. That thought led him to remind himself that Choi Youngjae wasn’t a Park, and that the publicist deserved all the bestial rage that for a long time remained latent within him. Mark wasn’t sure if he would disappear that night, but he was surely going to leave a message behind.

“I will vanish at some point. I know I deserve to burn in hell. One’s bad deeds always come back to bite their ass some day, right?” Mark sighed in resignation and added, “Thank you for the Korean lessons, and thank you even more for reminding me of who I really am, and where I belong.” He took a deep breath and asked, “Now, you don’t happen to have a gun, do you?” Youngjae frowned and shook his head at him. The publicist’s response earned a humorless snort from the older, who cursed under his breath. He clicked his tongue and mused, “Damn, I miss America.”

The foreigner’s expression hardened as he walked towards the kitchen with determination. When he got there, he opened a couple of drawers, and finally seemed to find what he was looking for. He came back to the living room with a kitchen knife in his hand. The publicist eyed him in shock.

“What you’re gonna do with this?” Youngjae asked, taking a few steps away from Mark, who had an unusual look plastered on his face.

“If you’re going to scream for help, this is your chance. I’m not sure if Dan will get here on time though. And in case he does, he won’t keep me from slicing you up. He likes to watch me in my bestial mode.” Mark smiled, but the younger had never seen him grinning like that. It was somewhat disturbing. He involuntarily flinched and took some distance from him, but the American just came closer.

“Mark, please. Be careful with this.” Youngjae begged pitifully as he kept walking backwards, trying to get away from the older.

“Do you know why my bar in LA was called 777 Ways, Choi?” Mark asked grimly.

“It’s a l-lucky n-number?” The publicist stammered.

“Wrong answer. The members of the organization I used to work for, always carved the skin of their victims with 3 consecutive sevens. That was our official symbol back then. Ito Hara was the sick fuck who came up with the idea. He had a list of 777 methods to kill that he and his associates used whenever they needed to get rid of someone. They could be prosaic, like a mere twist of a neck, or quite creative, like making one choke on their own tongue. That’s how my uncle died.” Mark said in intimidating tone, clearly enjoying how the other’s eyes grew with horror.

“Mark, you don’t belong to that organization anymore. This is not LA. This is the moment you prove to me you’re not the man Jia Er claims you are.” Youngjae’s voice was barely audible when he managed to form his sentence. He felt pathetic and small.

“I don’t have to prove anything to anybody, especially not to you. I know exactly who I am, or what I am. I might not live in my old Neighborhood anymore, but it never ceased to live in me. And no matter where I go, I carry it with me. I just never thought you would be one of those whom I fucked and killed afterwards. But it’s kinda sexy, isn’t it? I just had my dick inside you minutes ago, now I’m opening you up on a whole different level. I get to see all of you, inside and out, you lying scumbag. Are you ready to show me your true colors?” The American lunged at him and grabbed his chin sharply, digging his nails into his face. The younger whimpered.

“Please, don’t do that”. Youngjae whispered in fear as Mark lightly traced his jaw with the tip of the sharp knife. The younger felt a shiver run down his spine when the blade travelled from his neck to his chest. The American felt a rush of euphoria dominate him. It felt strangely righteous to let his demons out at that very moment. Youngjae had defied his ability to change into a human, and Mark wanted to show him that his humanity was precious, and not everyone had the privilege of witnessing it. Youngjae didn’t deserve his humane clemency. That one deserved to feel the beast’s piercing claws puncturing his skin, and behold his own blood soak the fiend’s dark wings.

“Since you told me a bit of your background story, I feel that I should open up a bit too, since this might be the last time we see each other. So, I learned a couple of things from the place I come from. I can use a sharp object in at least 77 ways. Actually, I’m pretty good at throwing knives, but I wasn’t always like that. Hara made me learn it even before I officially became his China Doll in his fucking Case. He himself taught me. What’s with Japanese people and blades, right? Every time I missed a target I ended up being punished. Soo Young was a target once, just because they found out she made me a little happy. I refused to kill her, of course. Therefore, I had to pay the price. Hara had a thing for suspension bondage, so the fucker used ropes to tie me up and suspend me for hours. The ropes were so tightly wrapped around my limbs that I could barely breathe. Dan was the one who made the knots, Hara taught him how to, but he had a poor technique. Dan never properly learned shibari ties. Hara knew how sloppy Dan was with ropes, so he let him do it on purpose. He wanted me to hurt badly. Cameron, Dan and Hara fucked me while I was still wrapped around those ropes. Hara and Cameron double penetrated me from behind, while Dan fucked my mouth. They filled all my holes at the same time...In ways that I didn't even think it was possible. Hara told me I should not make a sound, that I should pretend I was their marionette. If I didn’t do that, they would bring the ‘Korean woman’ to watch me being tortured. I did what they wanted, but they still brought her to the room. I was glad she was gagged. I wouldn’t bear to hear her screams. She and I were never the same after that. We promised to never talk about it. It was too painful for both of us to bring up the topic. I still have scars from that day. The day I spared Park Soo Young’s life.” Mark’s eyes glazed over as he confessed just one of the most shameful episodes of his life. He didn’t think he would ever dare to reveal that to Jinyoung, but he didn’t feel bad for telling that to the publicist.

“I don't wanna hear it...Stop it. That was wrong. It shouldn’t have happened to you, or her. I-I’m sorry. I’m so s-sorry.” A horrified Youngjae whispered, as his eyes brimmed with tears.

“Don’t be. You said I’m a monster. Let me show you a few monstrosities I have in store for you. I wonder who will come after me to avenge you later. Will it be your middle school idol, or your loyal husband? Fuck them, see if I care.” Mark said emotionlessly, as the publicist shook and tried to shrink away from him. Youngjae’s scream was muffled by the older’s hand as the cold steel entered him. Mark thrust the knife harshly into him, forcefully stretching the already torn tissue. The publicist tried to fight the object that ruthlessly cut him open, he struggled to pull away from the American, but the pain was so intense that all his body seemed to shut down and concentrate on the torment caused by that wound. “If you survive this, it will grant you a beautiful scar. And every time your husband looks at it, he’ll be reminded of the day I ripped his beloved open in more than one way. It will also remind you to stay away from Jinyoung because you ruined his chance of being happy with me. If can’t have him, you don’t get to have him either. You’ve messed with the wrong devil.” Mark licked his lips and sneered at him. Youngjae’s hands went limp on either side of him when Mark finally let him go and he fell on the floor. The publicist sobbed, as he curled into a ball and observed his blood colour the ground under him. The immense agony that took over his frame also gave him time to reflect on his own sins. He didn’t want to die, and he couldn’t help but try to resist his own fate. He consoled himself with brighter thoughts. He started to imagine what could happen if he survived that wound.

Telling the truth was a priority, even if it made him look like a terrible person. Youngjae was confident that Jaebeom would take him back even after the 'revengeful' cheating. Youngjae considered that once JB took pity on his wounded state he wouldn’t be so mad. Besides his adultery, there was no doubt that the editor would also forgive his lies. After all, even at the moment his husband caught him bottoming for Mark, sweaty and naked, moaning and panting under the American, JB still wanted to get him out of that apartment and take him home. The editor had insisted that they were married, and that he would come back for him. Jaebeom clearly didn't want a divorce, and nothing could change his mind. Jaebeom truly loved him, and although he shouted a couple of horrible things to him, like comparing him to his violent Dad, he knew JB would forgive him. Youngjae never felt so infinitely loved like that. So unconditionally cherished. For the first time, during all those years they spent together, he truly conceded that he and JB belonged together, and Jinyoung had no romantic priority in his heart. No matter what, Youngjae could never allow JB to let go of him, and that was the only certainty he had in mind. He would never take his marriage for granted again if he managed not to bleed to death on the floor of his old apartment.

As his vision started to blur, he struggled to understand why he misunderstood his own intentions towards the writer since the beginning. He might've been grateful to Jinyoung for saving him in middle school, for giving him attention, for treating him like no one else did when he was just a lonely teenager who felt out of place in a new city. Youngjae was quite young back then, and any intense feeling of fondness could’ve been mistaken as love. He held on to that imprecise interpretation of feelings until he joined Team Wang. The publicist didn't even perceive how Jaebeom noticed him, made his way into his life and slowly conquered him. Deep down Youngjae couldn't contain the jealously he felt of Jinyoung and Jaebeom's closeness when they would hang out with him. And now he couldn't help but ask himself who was the real target of his jealousy back then. He wondered if he really started dating the editor years ago just to make Jinyoung give up on his best friend. Maybe he just wanted to have JB to himself.

He pondered Mark's conjectures, and marveled at the possible veracity of his claims. Perhaps he had always taken his relationship with Jaebeom seriously. Perhaps, he had grown to love JB as much as he loved him. Perhaps, he never had the intention of going after Jinyoung or confessing to him once he joined Team Wang because his heart had unconsciously started beating for someone else. Perhaps, the wedding happened because he himself felt that he should quickly secure Jaebeom's position in his life, and keep the writer from taking the editor from him.

If those facts were all true, he was a real fool. Since the day he joined Team Wang, Jackson knew of his admiration for Jinyoung. When he had recently joined the Company, and the four of them would go out for drinks, the sharp Chinese quickly caught on the possible love triangle involving the trio, Jinyoung, Jaebeom, and Youngjae.

When Youngjae and Jaebeom started dating, Jackson called the publicist to his office once, and asked Youngjae why he was going out with the editor if he fancied Jinyoung. Youngjae was afraid of losing his friends and his job. He didn't want Jackson to think that he was playing his hyung. Actually, he didn't really think he was playing Jaebeom at all. But the CEO of Team Wang was clearly hinting that he could cause problems between his two friends. Then Youngjae desperately denied his feelings for the writer, and listed all the reasons why he and JB could work out, including the fact that Jaebeom was the only one around him whom he felt that he could be completely comfortable to be himself. Jackson just smiled at him and rested his case. Maybe at that moment, he knew more about Youngjae's feelings than the publicist himself. The Chinese welcomed him to the family. He told Youngjae that JB and Jinyoung were like real brothers to him and from that moment on, he was a brother to him too. The publicist was grateful for those words, and he had never forgotten them. Even though Jinyoung skipped Jaebeom and Youngjae's wedding, the publicist was thankful to have the Chinese there to support them. Jackson had even dragged Yugyeom to NY with him to represent the writer, and that wedding wouldn't have been so unforgettable if they weren't there.

Jackson was his hyung, he appreciated him, but why would the Chinese involve him in his plans of revenge? How could the Chinese manipulate his feelings, and actions so cruelly? Did SooYoung's death really change the warm and generous man Jackson used to be? Youngjae felt sorry for him, for himself, for his husband, for Jinyoung, and for their strong bond, which seemed to be tested now that they were all trapped in such an unbelievably messy situation. He wished he had time to reevaluate the devilish Mark that Jackson told him about, and the mysterious Mark who was eager to learn Korean, who was extremely quiet, but quite assertive when he needed to. He wished he had managed to learn more about the 'normal' Mark he only got a glimpse while he was too busy picturing him as a rival, or an enemy. He wished he had really tried to be his friend. Mark looked like he needed more than a couple of friends. The look in the American's eyes when he pierced his skin was full of desolation. The publicist knew well how it felt to be a stranger in a strange place. But Mokpo wasn't America, and Mark's problems were more than just a couple of middle school bullies. Youngjae could almost guess that Mark only acted as a monster because he called him one, and because JB accused him of being the worst thing that happened to Jinyoung's life. They evoked the past Mark Tuan. The savage being who went through brutal ordeals. Youngjae was almost convinced that Mark could even be a monster at some point of his life, but Mark himself had told him that 'the accursed writer made him ordinarily human again'. He believed him. Those lines were delivered with so much honesty that Youngjae was unable to doubt them.

Youngjae wished he could tell Mark that he was doing all right at being human so far, and that he understood why he attacked him with that knife. He wished he could rebuild a real friendship with the foreigner on a clean slate. He wished he could be one of his close human friends. Yet, Youngjae also felt far from being human at the moment. If it wasn't for the crimson liquid gushing out of his body, he would be solely an empty shell of vile deceit, and wicked gullibility. He had many amends to make and apologies to give. But he was bleeding out pretty fast, and he wasn't sure if he would have time to do all that. He didn't know if he would have the chance to tell his husband how much he truly loved him.

He also lamented the possibility of not having the chance to see YugBam's pets grow, or witness the lovely couple tie the knot someday. He wished he could give Yugyeom the same support the youngster gave him on his wedding ceremony. He also wished he could see the response of the public to Jinyoung's latest book. He wished he could be present when his middle school hero, and great hyung received one more literary awards. He wished he could help Jackson find clarity again, he missed his goofy smile. He yearned to see his playful side one more time. He craved to see the Chinese laugh and makes jokes again, like he used to do before Soo Young's death. At last, he wished he could be able to sleep and awake beside his dearest husband for a few more years before they had to part, but he couldn't be sure if he would ever be able to open his eyes again. He could feel himself evanescing as his eyelids grew too heavy, as his breath declined, and his limbs became too tired to move. His mind was going blank as blackness surrounded him. The last word he uttered before he passed out was a faint 'Beom'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark did find Daniel in front of the publicist’s building. The unsavoury man gave him a crocked smiled and opened the door of a car for him when the American crossed the street.

“Long time no see, Doll. I missed you to bits. I can’t wait to have you all for myself now that Cam is gone.” A quite pleased Daniel said, as soon as Mark got into the car. The minute the dealer got into the driver’s seat and closed the door of the vehicle, he gripped Mark’s hair and pulled his face to a kiss. Mark saw that he had a gun in the glove compartment. He knew Dan wanted him to notice it, he wanted him to know who was in charge. Daniel groped him and licked his face, enjoying the fact that Mark wasn’t fighting him. The latter was completely numb. When Daniel examined him closer, he noticed the older’s blood-stained hands on his lap. “I assume this blood is not yours… Did you kill the guy? I figured you would. I really don’t mind, but Wang will be pissed when he learns about it. We’ve got to stop by his Company to say our goodbyes. We’ll be home soon, Doll.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yugyeom and Bambam were the ones who found Youngjae and took the publicist to a hospital. The Thai had grown too worried about Mark when Jinyoung desperately knocked on his door, fell on his knees, and begged him to help him bring the American back. Bambam had never seen the writer in such a state, and he couldn't help but fear that a tragedy had taken place. Jinyoung spoke in fast Korean while he frantically explained to the Thai that Mark had broken up with him, and if it wasn't for Yugyeom, who arrived a few minutes later than his boyfriend, Bambam would never figure out what was going on, or where Mark was. Yugyeom translated to Bambam bits and pieces of what Jinyoung was sputtering. The young couple then left their apartment in search for Mark and advised Jinyoung to stay put at home. Their trip to Youngjae's old place ended up saving the publicist's life.

Hours later, Jaebeom entered the hospital like a mad man in search for his husband. He found Jinyoung, Yugyeom and Bambam waiting for news regarding the results of Youngjae's surgery. The police started to investigate the case, but no one knew how the crime happened, and no one knew Mark's whereabouts. The only person who could clarify their doubts was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. The writer couldn't help but think that someone broke into Youngjae's place, wounded the publicist and took Mark away. He tried calling Jackson, but the Chinese never picked up. Jinyoung felt like losing his mind, thinking that Mark could be dead somewhere. Jaebeom was also driving himself crazy with worry, struggling not to imagine his life as a widower. Yugyeom tried to give his hyungs the emotional support they needed, but Bambam couldn't stand doing nothing while his best friend could be in danger. He told Yugyeom that he would grab him and the others some coffee. His boyfriend nodded, but didn't notice the unusual look in his eyes when he walked away from them. Yugyeom never saw how Bambam hurriedly left that hospital in search for his best friend.

~ Team Wang Publishing Co., Ltd., CEO’s office 

“You’re here. That means the culmination of this long-awaited revenge is finally upon us.” Jack said with a satisfactory smile on his lips. He made a gesture, and Stravos left the two alone in the large room.

“I’m still alive. What are waiting for?” Mark asked darkly, and hid his hands behind his back. He didn’t want the Chinese to start asking questions before he clarified some issues with him.

“There are things worse than death, Yi-en.” Jackson said, as he sat on his comfortable chair and offered the American a seat. Mark refused.

“Oh, I’m well aware of that. You should’ve seen Jinyoung’s state when he left Jae’s apartment. By the way, did you have to go that far just to get to me? You even involved your married dongsaeng in this mess… I thought that despite all the shit that happened, deep down, you were still Jin’s friend.”

“He brought it upon himself. He was the one who broke the rules first. Jinyoung was supposed to deceive you, not fuck you.”

“Do you think your fiancée would like to see her baby brother all wound up like that? He’s miserable. You broke us up. Are you happy now?” A disturbingly calm Mark questioned. 

“Serves him right. He was the one who told her to go to America anyways. It’s mainly his fault she’s not here with us.”

“It sounds to me that this revenge affected more your own friend than your actual target.”

“Maybe Jin should’ve become my actual target at some point too…” The Chinese shook his head in frustration. “Did you know that Soo Young and I even had a date for our wedding? I made her choose between her PhD and me and she had chosen me! Then her fucking brother changed her mind and ruined everything! We would be happily married now if it wasn’t for him. He was the one who started all this. You only made things worse when you got involved with her. But I’m giving up on you as my target, Mark. Now you’re someone else’s.”

“So you made that great gesture at the housewarming party just to make sure everyone thinks that you have nothing to do with my supposed disappearance? That we’re all good friends now?” The American asked stoically.

“Exactly. I still like Jin as my own little brother and he’ll have all my support during this difficult phase. Now he will know what it is to think you know someone, love someone, and then find out that this person had no qualms in leaving you behind without a notice. Hell, with phase 2, he’ll know what it means to lose that important someone completely.”

“So you’re not gonna kill me, but you’re making me Dan’s target? I’m terrified.” The American concluded in a quite uncaring manner.

“I don’t like getting my hands dirty. The truth is, I don’t have to worry about getting rid of you, because someone else is willing to get the job done, and I’m not talking about Stravos. That fucker is just one of the people who’s after your ass. There are more dangerous individuals eager to get their hands on you. You might beg for death, but they will not give it to you.”

“They? Who? What could these people do to me that wasn’t done before? What could be worse than-”

“What about going through all of that, all over again?” Jackson raised an eyebrow at him. The bar is not yours, Mark. It’s in someone else’s name. The contract was in Korean, and I know you trusted Jin’s words and just signed the papers without even knowing what you were doing. Poor you, now you have more debts than before. You haven’t been paying rent for a while, and now the real owner has come to collect his money.” Jackson explained quickly. The American’s eyes widened.

“What the hell are you talking about? Jinyoung would never let me sign-”

“Hush, Yi-en. There’s someone I want you to meet.”


	45. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “People should either be caressed or crushed. If you do them minor damage they will get their revenge; but if you cripple them there is nothing they can do. If you need to injure someone, do it in such a way that you do not have to fear their vengeance.”― Niccolo Machiavelli

Jackson walked to the door of his office with a satisfied smile on his lips and told his secretary to bring someone in. Mark was still, but his eyes were alert. What did Jackson mean by ‘ _going through all of that again’_? The American blinked several times when a Japanese young man, apparently in his early twenties, entered the room.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Jack oniisan.” The man spoke in English as he bowed to Jackson, but his thick Japanese accent was quite noticeable. He slowly turned to Mark and greeted him in Japanese. Mark narrowed his eyes at him, in the most hostile manner.

“Who are you? I’m American, and I can’t speak Japanese.” Mark said quickly, as he examined the stranger up and down. He had somewhat a familiar face.

“Perhaps you still don’t remember. But my Dad taught you a long time ago.” The young man said sympathetically, shifting to English. Mark’s eyes widened even more when he realized the resemblance. He became speechless for a minute, while the man continued talking. “I’m amazed, Kaoru-sama is indeed a master of hypnotic amnesia. Look at you…He was really capable of supressing people’s memories, wasn’t he? Your ignorance is a proof of that. I had my doubts about his fame, after all, everything about my Dad’s business sounded like fiction to me. Even the rumours about his cult, dolls, worshippers, and followers sounded too unrealistic. Kaoru-sama told me stories about you too, Mark-san.”

“No one taught me anything. Who the fuck is your Dad? Who the heck is Kaoru?” The very word hypnosis sent a chill down his spine. Mark felt sick to his stomach as he eyed the young man and easily saw a younger version of the Collector in him. He could guess already who were the people after him. He could almost feel his own lips quiver and his heartbeats accelerate. A quiet Jackson watched the interaction with curiosity.

“Well, you knew Kaoru-sama simply as the Programmer. No one actually used their real names in that place.” The young man said solemnly as he sat in the chair Mark refused to take earlier. Only now, the American realized that the hooded figure he saw once standing in the rain, on a certain street of Seoul, wasn’t just a ghost, or an hallucination. He was being hunted.

“Who the hell are you? Do I know you?” The American asked in terror. How could this man know such details about the Case, Hara’s cult, and the Programmer? How come he looked so much like someone he believed he had killed?

“I am Daisuke Hara, but you may call me Die. It’s an honour to finally meet you, Mark-san, or should I call you, Doll Hunter? I know how much my late father appreciated your services, and also how he ended up murdered by his own obsession. You’re kind of a legend in our circle. Actually, some old friends of my Dad are quite anxious to meet you again.” The young man explained calmly.

“You’re Ito’s son? That bastard dared to leave an offspring in the world? Had I known he had a child, I would have set you on fire too. So you’ve been after me for what? Do you intend to avenge your disgusting father?” Mark gave him a defying stare and shook his head in revulsion.

“Nothing like that. I’m not one to hold grudges, but Kaoru-sama insists that debts should be paid. He’s old school, like my Dad. I need something from him, and he needs something from you. We must help each other to achieve our goals.” Daisuke replied. Mark scoffed.

“Stop with your insanities right there! The Programmer is dead! They are all dead. I made sure of it. I locked them up in their fucking Case and Repair Shop years ago. I set the place on fire, no one-”

“One worshipper helped Kaoru-sama to get out. The fire unfortunately damaged one of Kaoru-sama’s eyes, so you must imagine how emotional he’ll get when he sees you again, even if it’s with the only eye he has left.” Daisuke commented, always in a low tone and utterly polite.

“What makes you think I’m gonna meet that deranged fuck?! I’d rather die than go near that scumbag.” Mark stated, as he crossed his arms in a defensive manner, and walked towards the large window of Jackson’s office. The Chinese gasped across the room, as he watched the older touch the glass, look down and take a deep breath. “I wonder little Hara, if I’ll be of any use for you, or your people, once I hit the ground. Will you still pick up the bloody pieces left of me? Will you be able to reunite the tiny chunks of my brain splattered down there?”

“They have Kunpimook! If you don’t go with them, what do you think it’s gonna happen to him?” Jackson said hastily, with an uncomfortable expression on his face. He was bluffing, because he felt the need to. The American could not care about his own life, yet, Bambam’s was another story. The CEO clearly didn’t want anyone to commit suicide on the 70 floor of Team Wang’s building. However, he did want Mark to contemplate suicide at some point. He did want him to end up like his fiancée, didn’t he? Should he really stop the older from jumping? Wouldn’t that make him feel better? Wouldn’t his revenge be complete? He wondered why he bothered at all.

“No, they don’t! Bam is probably at his apartment with Gyeom, or at the bar.” Mark paled, as he turned around to face Jackson, who slowly approached him. Mark froze on the spot as he imagined the dreadful possibility of him being wrong.

“Exactly. Hara’s bar.” Jackson carefully reminded him. Mark felt dizzy and ended up vomiting on the floor. Jackson grabbed him by the waist, pulled him away from the window and eyed him in shock. Only now, he noticed the blood on American’s hands.

“Whose blood is that?” The wide-eyed Chinese demanded.

“Fuck you!” Mark shouted, as he pushed him away and succumbed on the floor.

“We are going to leave this building very quietly, Mark-san. You and I are going to quietly get into a car, and meet the others. You must not resist, otherwise, I’m afraid your Thai friend might lose his life.” Daisuke said collectedly. He played along with the Chinese’s lie. He knew about Bambam’s existence, but he didn’t seize him. He quickly understood that Jackson made Mark believe that they had captured his friend in order to subdue him. Daisuke hadn’t even moved from his chair when Mark went to the window, or when Jackson tried to prevent his suicide. The young man just watched everything happen with extreme tranquillity.

“I’ll do as you say. I’ll go wherever you want me to go… Can I just have a word in private with him before we leave?” The American asked in a weak tone, as he turned to Daisuke and pointed to Jackson. The young man gave him a composed smile and nodded.

“Of course. I’ll wait outside with Dan-san.” Daisuke said. Then he turned to Jackson, bowed to him politely and left the room.

“What is it?! Do you want me to say good-bye to Jin for you? I’m not interested in any last words, you know.” Jackson eyed the American on the floor with nervousness. “I swear to God, if you try to throw yourself at that window again, I will fucking break Bam’s neck myself!” he added, as he started pacing around the room. Mark noticed his uneasiness, and he wondered if Jackson was having a crisis of conscience, or if it was the blood that unsettled him. The American tried to use another approach with his enemy.

“Look, Jia Er, I know we’re not friends. But you know this is not right. You don’t know this people, you have no idea how dangerous they are. Bam is innocent and-”

"Did you know I'm adopted, Yi-en? I’ve never met my real parents…You see, we have a lot in common, you and I." Jackson said out of the blue. The American frowned at him.

“What are you talking about? How does that make us alike? I know who my fucking parents are. I am not adopted." Mark shook his head at him in confusion. He was not able to grasp the reason why the other brought up that subject.

"We both have shameful branches in our family trees, Mark. You had a disgusting uncle who worked for one of the worst criminal organizations in LA. I had a father who bought and sold human beings to build his empire." Jackson stopped pacing and towered over the older.

"Your father was involved with The Collector's Case?" The American stood up from the floor and eyed him with uncertainty.

"It's more than that. He was the Collector." Jackson said bitterly.

"Bullshit! You don't even look Japanese, Jia Er. Do you really think I don't remember how the Doll Collector looked like? I'll never forget that face, and I can tell you this, you do not resemble him at all. If that’s what that kid out there told you, he’s lying." Mark pursed his lips. He couldn’t believe what he was listening. How come Ito Hara had so many sons he had never heard of?

"I wish he was, but he’s not. My mom was one of his Hongkonger dolls. It's ludicrous, isn't it? Just like you, once I believed that I was just a regular guy. I was raised by loving parents, I had a nice home, and I was supposed to take care of the family business. The people I called Mom and Dad founded Team Wang, a big Publishing company that I would take over as soon as I finished college. I even met this beautiful and smart Korean girl who I fell in love with. I thought I had all figured out. A damn brilliant future ahead of me. A perfect dream that included SooYoung by my side. Then one day someone showed up, and shattered all the make-believe life I knew… Mark Tuan Yi-En. Our paths coincidently and unfortunately crossed. You took my girlfriend, and my unborn kid from me. Even though you weren’t the one who put that noose around her neck, I knew she still would be here if it wasn’t for the HIV issue. After she passed I just wanted to make justice with my own hands, but I had no idea you were untouchable. Remember that day I made a ruckus at _777 Ways_? Dan’s guys were beating me up in the middle of the street when he himself showed up outside the bar. Then he noticed a necklace around my neck and told them to stop. His reaction was weird, but he let me go. I had no idea they followed me that night to make sure of who I really was. Months later, I was back in Hong Kong when someone called Daisuke Hara showed up at my door and told me I was his half-brother and that we needed to find our mother. Daniel Stravos had told him about me. Daisuke was on a pilgrimage to find out about his real kin, but I ignored him. I didn’t know I was adopted back then. I just told the little Hara that he had found the wrong guy, and sent him away. He gave me his contact though, and also handed me a file which told a lot about my own origins. He said that if I ever needed anything, that I should look for him. Afterwards, I confronted my parents and they confessed that I was not their biological son. Someone had left me at their door with a huge sum of money, a letter, and a necklace. More money was sent regularly from overseas throughout the years. I even found out that Team Wang was built with Ito Hara’s money.” Jackson sighed, shook his head and continued. “Do you understand what I am saying? My biological mother was one of Ito’s exclusive dolls. When she had me, I was sent to Hong Kong for safety measures. The same happened with Daisuke, but he was sent to Japan. He’s got the same letter and the same necklace our mom left us, with a silver letter Z on it.”

“A silver letter Z?” Mark was astonished. He knew someone who also used to wear a necklace like that.

“Yeah. My mom was called Sophia Zhou.” Jackson gave him a knowing look.

“Zhou? Just like-”

“That’s right, Cameron Zhou was my older half-brother. But you killed him in prison, didn’t you? He was the only son Hara kept by his side.” Jackson cocked his head to the side and stared hard at the speechless American, who had eyes like saucers. “Don’t worry. I’m not bothered about that. I never met the guy. From what I’ve heard he deserved everything he got. Just like my biological Dad. I’m relieved they’re gone. I’m ashamed to even have Hara’s blood in my veins.”

“Oh, my God. I thought all this revenge thing was about Soo Young.” Mark was trying to digest all that unbelievable coincidence. Every word that came out of Jackson’s mouth sounded like the lines of a movie script to him.

“And it is! And it’s kinda for my mom too. If she was a Doll, it was because a Doll Hunter put her there. You were a Doll Hunter once, right?” Jackson said, as he narrowed his eyes at the older.

“Jia Er, that’s absurd! I’ve never even met your mother. I can’t be the one who put her there. I was probably a child living a suburban life when Hara got to her. I have no idea of how many years the Collector’s Case-”

“I know you didn’t put her in the Case, Yi-en! That filthy place already existed years before you got there! But you worked for Hara, and you did to many other women, men, and children what was done to my mom. You brought them to the Collector. You helped him maintain that fucking hellhole. And you should burn, like he did.” Jackson spat, crossing his arms.

“That’s not fair! You can’t put all that on me. You know I became a Doll too, right?! I suffered just like your mother did! What the hell was I supposed to do?! I had debts, and I needed to protect my family! And afterwards, I killed him, Jia Er! I avenged every fucking human being who was his victim once. I did what I could to survive. Now you want me to deliver me in the hands of your little half-brother, who’s probably as fucked up as his father? You wanna avenge your mom by giving me to those psychos?! You’re doing the same thing you accused me of doing.” Mark shouted exasperated, and shook his head in dismay.

“I’m being righteous! I’m getting rid of the last vestige of my Dad’s filthy empire. You see, I had already given up on getting back at you after I got beat up outside your bar. I figured I’d never be able to get close enough to you and kill you. Then one day, Jin called me and said he had found something inside one of his noona’s books. He had retrieved some stuff of hers from the place she was staying in America, and he had decided to keep some of it. He found her last words in a piece of paper by accident. Do you have any idea of how I felt when Jin showed me her suicide note?! I read her dying wish, and I knew it was a sign. I already knew the name she had put in that letter, I had already met the man responsible for her demise. I could interpret her words pretty easily. When I saw that fucking note, I knew I shouldn’t just let it go! She was asking to be avenged. Why the hell would she write your damn name in that paper and call you her killer?! So, I decided to meet up with Daisuke again, and I asked for his help. After all, he was the one who said that if I ever needed anything I should look for him. Then I asked for a favour, I told him I wanted you gone. Daniel already knew everything about you, and Daisuke was already aware of your connection with the Collector’s Case. When I got my hands in those files, and realized the sick coincidence before me, you became an amalgamation of everything I ever hated. My little half-brother told me about Cameron Zhou, and how, even from prison, the dealer kept an eye on you. He said it would be dangerous for any of us to go to LA, since there was a boss at the Neighbourhood who used to be Hara’s rival, and Cameron, ironically, was his associate. If someone found out we were Hara’s sons, we could become a target. You were being very well watched by the members of Cam’s gang, especially by Dan. Then Daisuke told me he would take over the revenge once I figured out a way to bring you to Korea. He told me that Daniel was as loyal to him as he was to Hara once, and that he would betray the current boss of the Neighbourhood for the right sum of money. He said he would aid me and provide some underlings to make things happen. Jinyoung had no idea of what was going on behind his back. I made him think that the revenge was his idea too. That if he wanted to help me avenge Soo Young, he had to bring you to me.” Jackson paused and inhaled. “The sad part of this plan, was that although he did bring you here, he let you get inside his head.”

“I got inside his heart! As he got into mine!” Mark retorted.

“You don’t even have a heart Yi-en.” The Chinese bellowed.

“Soo Young would disagree with you, and so would her brother.” The American fumed. He hated the fact that he was treated as a fool. He hated having to leave Jinyoung. He hated having to leave the country. He hated the fact that he would have to leave without saying goodbye to Bambam. He wished he knew the Thai was safe. He cursed the day he had met Soo Young Park. “Where is this goddamn suicide note anyways, everybody says it was addressed to me, but I’ve never even got a chance to read it!”

“This conversation is over. Goodbye, Yi-en. I don’t wanna waste your time more than I already did. There are people waiting for you. Certainly a few dozens of admirers.” Jackson stated sarcastically. The American chewed on his lips and nodded his head. His body language changed, as he approached Jackson. He seemed resigned.

“You know what, I’ll go with them if that makes you happy.” Mark swallowed, and with tears in his eyes he suddenly kneeled before the Chinese. “I’m sorry for what happened to her…Just promise me you’ll save Bam. If you know where he is, please-”

“He’ll be fine, I’ll see to it. But you must go with them. Now get up and leave at once.” Jackson said shortly, and looked away from him. He couldn’t tell if those tears were fake or real. He didn’t know if Mark really cared. He didn’t know a lot of things, or he stubbornly ignored them. During that little time they shared in that office, he saw many versions of Mark, a suicidal one, a begging one, an angry one, and a stoic one. The American seemed to him like a monster wearing different masks. He was a rollercoaster of emotions.

“I know it’s not my place to say this, but, please stop hurting your own friends because you are hurt. Jin, JB and Jae, they don’t deserve what you’ve done to them. I guess we both agree that they had enough.” Mark stood up and gave the Chinese a pitiful look.

“They’re not your business, Yi-en.” Jackson said quietly. His eyes softened somehow. Those words definitely hit home.

“Tell Jae, I wish him a full recovery. In case he made it to the hospital, of course.” Mark muttered darkly, as he gave the other one last glance, and walked out the door to meet his fate.

An alarmed Jackson hurriedly picked up his phone from his table and checked his messages. He quickly found out that the publicist was hurt. There were dozens of missed calls and texts from Jinyoung and JB. The Chinese had put his phone on silent mode since he had received a call from Stravos earlier, telling him that he was bringing Mark to him. Jackson thought that it would be the last time he laid eyes on his enemy, and he wanted no disturbance at that moment. He regretted doing that. He should’ve guessed that the blood on Mark’s hands was Youngjae’s. A wave of guilt washed over him. He didn’t want to call the editor or the writer. He feared that somehow, his voice could denounce him, and that one of them could get to the American before Daisuke left the country with him. Therefore, he called another Korean close to the pair, Kim Yugyeom.

“I saw your hyungs’ texts. How bad is it? Is he even alive?” Jackson asked through the phone, as he prayed for good news. If Youngjae died, he would not be able to forgive himself.

_“Why aren’t you here? Your fucking friends need you, hyung! Jae is still in surgery and JB is losing his shit. Mark hyung disappeared and Jinyoung got in a car to start looking for him. It’s been two hours since Bam went to get us some coffee and he hasn’t come back! Now, where the hell are you? Is work more important than the ones you call brothers? After Soo Young noona died, did your heart die too?”_

“I’m sorry Gyeom-ah. I really am, kid. I was at a meeting, I had no idea. Which hospital is he?” Jackson cursed himself as he heard the anguished voice of the maknae. He knew Yugyeom would only talk that way when he got pretty upset.

_“I’ll text you the name and address of the hospital. Get here as fast as you can. I need someone to watch Jaebeom while I try to find my goddamned boyfriend. If I leave hyung alone, he might murder the next nurse who tells us to be patient and wait for the surgery to be over. I’m not sure if my cousin had any luck with his search for Mark, so I’ve gotta call him to find out. Look, I can’t handle all this chaos by myself. I could use some help here, you know? It’s time for you to care about the ones who are still living. Don’t disappoint us more than you already did. I mean it. I’ll be waiting.”_

“And I’ll be there, Gyeom. I promise.” Jackson grimaced. He knew the risks of involving Youngjae in that plan. It was his fault the publicist ended up in the hospital, he was the one responsible for the side-effects of his revenge plan. He couldn’t blame Mark for being who he was. He didn’t expect the American to be merciful. Monsters would always be monsters, right? But why? Why a monster would kneel before him, and beg for someone else’s life? Why did those beastly eyes look so sincere and pained? Why would a fiend abhor the very hell it came from, and try to jump out of a window? Why would his enemy advise him to stop hurting his own friends? How could a killer, who was once a whore, a human trafficker, and a drug dealer pretend to be more compassionate than him? How could a vicious villain deliver such uncharacteristically good-natured lines? What did Soo Young see in Mark Tuan to consider him her killer and saviour at the same time? What about Jinyoung? How could he fall in love with that man after knowing who he really was? How did Youngjae manage to get closer to Mark and deceive him, if the American was trained to be a cold machine and never trust a soul? How come JB invited the American to Nora’s birthday and decided to give his blessings to Jinyoung and Mark’s relationship? How come Yugyeom already treated Mark like a hyung even though he only knew him for a couple of months? How did that Thai kid who was secretly put in 777 Ways to spy on Mark, end up becoming his best friend and loyal guardian? Why nobody could resist the dammed creature? He was glad the American was gone. Mark Tuan Yi-En was undecipherable to him. He didn’t want to be confused anymore. He told himself he did the right thing getting rid of him, and that their lives would be better once the man was gone. Jackson’s head felt like exploding, as he picked up his car keys and hurriedly left Team Wang.


	46. Last Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness.” ~Neil Gaiman

*****1 year and 7 months later *****

_“A beautiful space is only complete with someone by your side. You filled my imperfect moments with meaning, you forged that invisible bubble that encircled us with hope, and made me whole with your breath of love. You were the beginning and the end of my fragmented existence, you were the most important part of my brilliance. Now I’m like a frame with no picture, a sea without a shore, a soulless human-doll. Your absence continues to hinder my future and colour me with gall. My heart is growing cold, for it doesn’t beat like it used to beat when I had your warmth to comfort me. With you away, I’m unable to find sufficient air, a shred of solace, or a crumb of peace. You abandoned me quietly, without even knowing you were my missing last piece.”_

A round of applause echoed in the auditorium as the acclaimed author Park Jinyoung finished reading the last paragraph of his latest bestselling novel. The book-signing event led a legion of fans to Team Wang’s building, after the author announced that _Last Piece: Breath of Lo_ ve would be his last book to hit the shelves of national and international bookstores. He announced the end of his writing career a month earlier when he declared on his social media that he was struggling with depression. Although he communicated his intentions publically, the author decided not to share with his fans some other struggles he was facing, especially his prescription drug abuse.

The Korean had a rough time after his boyfriend disappeared. He could barely finish his novel, and it took him more than a year to get it done. He had promised himself that he had to publish that book. He felt that perhaps, if his words became public, they could somehow, reach the American wherever he was. He pushed all his friends away and isolated himself. Mark’s absence had affected Jinyoung on an extreme level. Everyone around the writer could see that he was in a bad place. Only after Mark was gone, that his friends realized how much Jinyoung’s balance depended on the older. The author was a mess, and usually, Jaebeom was the one responsible to clean up after him. He would only see Jaebeom if they had to discuss something related to writing, but the editor was always looking out for him behind the scenes. Jinyoung resented the editor for sharing a house with Youngjae even after everything that had happened. As for the Chinese, Jinyoung was never convinced of his innocence. He never believed that Jackson had nothing to do with Mark’s disappearance. He avoided meeting the man at all costs.

During the first months of his boyfriend's disappearance, Jinyoung looked for Mark in America. He went to LA and dared to stop by Mark's old Neighborhood, but the trip had no success, there was no sign of him there. Bambam had told the writer not to go near that pace. The Thai himself explained to Jinyoung that Downtown LA would be the last place Mark would go if he had problems in South Korea, but the other didn’t listen to him, he didn’t listen to anyone. Bambam didn't go to the U.S with the author, but he contacted Mark's brother, Joey Tuan, the only sibling Mark would run to if he needed money to disappear. As expected, Joey had no idea of his big brother's whereabouts. Every single clue, every single contact, every single possibility of finding the American was useless. Jinyoung’s endless search came to an end when his heath was compromised. The writer drowned in depression when he convinced himself that he would never be able to see his boyfriend again. He could barely get out of his bed. His sister found him help, and even though he was able to function again, he was still not fully himself. The writer had become quite anti-social, but he stil would see his cousin and Bambam whenever he decide to stop at the bar. The maknaes decided to call it _Spinning Top_. 

Yugyeom quit his job at JYPE after he found out that Jackson was the one who made possible for him to get a job there. The maknae refused to compromise his pride, he wouldn’t accept hand-outs from anyone. His family was rich, so he really didn’t have to. Since Mark wasn’t around, he decided to help his boyfriend run his establishment. _Spinning Top_ ’s opening was a success, and even though the American’s absence was lamented, Yugyeom and his boyfriend worked hard to make that event possible. Bambam took care of his and Mark’s business in hopes of showing to his best friend one day how their dream had finally become a reality. The Thai was sure that such a day would come. Yugyeom and Bambam missed him a lot, but they were aware that they weren’t the only ones.

Youngjae never said anything to anyone about Jackson's involvement with Mark's disappearance after he woke up from his surgery. He never revealed that he got the Chinese's help to make JB and Jinyoung think that they had slept together. The publicist insisted that he himself was the mastermind of his own actions. He did confess what he did at Nora's party, and also how he lied to Mark in order to sleep with him. He took all the blame for the American's disappearance and the tragedy that followed. Youngjae had told his friends that Mark had attacked him after he revealed his real plans to him. According to the publicist's version of the story, after he had sex with Mark, and both Jinyoung and Jaebeom left the apartment, he made the American realize he had been deceived. Youngjae claimed that he told the older that his boyfriend wasn't really having an affair. He claimed that the moment Mark heard from him that his real intention was to separate him and Jinyoung, the American got furious. Mark then stabbed him, and took off after he realized he had committed a crime. In order to protect Mark from an attempted murder charge, Youngjae told the police a rather lighter version of the story regarding the incident in his apartment. He declared that he was alone in his living room when someone broke in and attacked him. Since no weapon was found at the scene, the authorities remained clueless. Youngjae thought he was doing the right thing by covering for Jackson too. Youngjae was partially saying the truth, but he wanted Jackson himself to tell their friends the whole story behind that 'mutual cheating' plan, or the so-called phase 2.

Bambam didn't believe that his best friend would run away because he was afraid of facing prison time. Everybody was already angry at the publicist, Bambam himself felt like ripping his head off, but he knew that Mark didn't stab Youngjae just because his 'Korean teacher' was a backstabber. The Thai got the message that Mark had left a behind. Only Bambam was able to understand it. When the Thai and Yugyeom found a bleeding Youngjae passed out on the floor of the publicist's apartment, Bambam saw the angle of the wound and he also noticed a 7 drawn on the floor with blood next to Youngjae's body. Bambam knew what that meant. But he didn't tell anyone about it. That sole 7 on the floor meant that Youngjae was not responsible for that whole mess. It indicated that he was only the tip of an iceberg, and Mark was probably going to find out who were the ones behind the other sevens. Back at their Neighborhood, messages like that were common. The sequence 777 meant that a true enemy was eliminated. The sequence 77 meant that a friend of the enemy was vanquished, and the single 7 meant that an outsider, usually an innocent, was simply being used by the enemy, and for that fault, this person was forgiven, if they survived from their wounds. Bambam knew then that their former organization was behind Mark's disappearance. He also figured out that Youngjae was protecting someone close to him. It didn't take long for the sharp Thai to realize that such a person could be Jackson Wang. Bambam even got close to Jackson after what happened with Youngjae. Keeping enemies closer was an old and wise strategy that never failed to work. Even when Jinyoung and Jaebeom pressed Youngjae for more answers, Bambam told them to leave him be. Jinyoung couldn't help but think that Jackson was involved in that whole ordeal, and Jaebeom was unable to believe that his husband had done all that mess by himself. Yet, Bambam convinced them that if Youngjae wasn't guilty, Mark wouldn't have stabbed him and ran away. Bambam still waited for another message from the American, but after a year without a sign of life, he didn’t know if his friend was dead or alive. He had no clue of where the older could be, but he knew that Jackson could be the key to find that out.

Jaebeom didn't forgive his husband for what he did. He was too shocked after he heard the publicist's motives. He couldn't believe that the man he loved would go to such lengths just to send the American away. What was even harder to digest was the fact that Youngjae claimed that he thought he was still in love with Jinyoung when he planned all that. The publicist tried to explain how his feelings were all over the place when Jinyoung brought Mark to Korea, and how he desperately held onto a mere appreciation he had for Jinyoung during his school days. However, he also told the editor that he had no doubt of his feelings anymore. He insisted that he wasn't confused, that he loved his husband. Jaebeom couldn't bear the fact that he married a man who wasn't sure of why he married him. He didn't believe Youngjae when the younger said he was over Jinyoung. Jaebeom didn't even try a reconciliation at first. 

After a series of health complications resulted from his stab wound, Youngjae had to be taken back to the emergency room more than twice. However, when his condition finally improved, he and his husband decided to try an in-house separation. The publicist didn't want to go back to his old apartment after the traumatic episode that took place there, and living with his aunt was not the best option either, since she had a big family of her own and her house was too small to be shared with one more person.

Jaebeom and Youngjae had a deal. Even though they would physically be in the same house, their marriage was silently nulled. Nothing was like it was before, since their relationship state had drastically changed. They were simply living like roommates, because living like husbands was too painful. Jaebeom just couldn't handle it. Jinyoung was in bad place because of the publicist, Mark was also gone because of him, and the editor couldn't allow himself to be happy with Youngjae while his best friend was miserable. Youngjae wanted to believe that they were separated because they were still trying to figure out if their marriage had a chance to survive. Their marital issues could not be fixed by a few sessions of couples counseling, but he still had hope. He had agreed to do that in-house separation, so both he and his husband could have a little personal space, while they worked through the major problems that their marriage was facing. Jaebeom's reasons were not the same. He only did what he thought it would be wise to do for both parties. Youngjae's wound got infected 4 days after he was discharged from the hospital. He was staying with one of his aunts after Jaebeom mentioned a divorce, but when he was taken back to the hospital Jaebeom himself decided to look after him once he was discharged for the second time. The editor took his husband back home and they discussed the in-house separation. JB made clear to Youngjae that he was not resuming their relationship. He explained to his husband that he was just helping him get back on his feet again. The stabbing incident left some after effects in Youngjae, and it was obvious that he couldn’t fend for himself for a while. Jaebeom claimed that he would do that for any human being in need, however, deep down, the editor was simply too afraid of losing the man he loved completely. He saw what Mark's departure did to Jinyoung. He didn't think he could bear not seeing Youngjae ever again. He resented his husband, but he didn't want him dead.

Living together had its ups and downs. After a while, it was difficult to keep their hands to themselves when they craved so much for each other. Sometimes the couple would relapse, and end up in bed together. Nevertheless, nothing really regrettable would happen. They would start making out, hungry for each other's touch, eager to get to that stage of connection they used to have, but whenever Jaebeom's hands would slip underneath Youngjae's shirt, the publicist would roughly pull away from him. He couldn't help it. Since the incident in his old apartment, the publicist was unable to be intimate with his husband again. Mark's words had never left his mind. Even though he was writhing in pain when the American uttered those haunting whispers close to his ear, they still echoed endlessly in the back of his mind, _'If you survive this, it will grant you a beautiful scar. And every time your husband looks at it, he’ll be reminded of the day I ripped his beloved open in more than one way.'_ The publicist couldn't bear to let JB touch his chest or anywhere around his abdomen. Whenever his husband's fingers neared that ugly scar, the gesture triggered that dire memory. Youngjae wondered if he would ever be able to have sex with his husband again. He somehow, felt that if they could overcome that physical barrier they would be able to start mending their relationship. Nevertheless, he just couldn't bring himself to overcome the shame he felt of his own body. He didn't want Jaebeom to touch that scar and be reminded of how much of a cheater his husband was. A concerned Jaebeom would get off Youngjae whenever his husband freaked out. Then for a split of second, he would remind himself that such a thing shouldn't be happening between them since they were separated. He would unwillingly leave Youngjae alone in their bed and go back to the guest room.

Being shirtless, or being touched around his torso was certainly an issue. However, the aversion Youngjae developed for sharp objects was indeed worrisome. He couldn't cook anything that required a knife to be used. Other objects like scissors, forks, nails, needles, and even harmless pins could make him hyperventilate. Shaving and getting a haircut was a torture. Only Jaebeom was able to get near him with an electric shaver. And he would only allow the editor to cut his hair when his bangs were too long, to the point of curtaining his vision. Jaebeom was patient with him. He would wait for his husband to ask for the haircut or the shaving. The editor had to calm him down before they started the whole process. Sometimes they would hug for a while, until Youngjae's breathing went back to its normal rhythm. The publicist would cry sometimes, other times he would close his eyes and just put on his ear pods. Being unable to listen to the sharp object trimming his hair really helped. Having JB so close, attentively caring for him, was always a blessing. Youngjae was clearly having symptoms of PTSD after being stabbed, but he refused to look for help. Deep down, he thought he didn't deserve being cured of his emotional wounds. After all, if it wasn't for him, Mark would still be around, and Jinyoung would still be writing, and happy. His marriage would be intact, if he hadn't acted like a slut. Everything was his fault.

He wasn't working at Team Wang anymore. He wanted to formally quit his job, but Jackson wouldn't let him. He assured the publicist that whenever he was ready to go back to work, his desk would still be there waiting for him. Even though it had been more than a year of 'medical leave', the Company was still monthly paying the publicist. Youngjae wondered if Jackson did that because he felt guilty. Other times, he thought that perhaps, the money was just a form of compensation. Youngjae didn't know for sure, and he didn't ask either. He asked Jackson about Mark though. He wanted to know what had happened to him. Jackson swore to the publicist that he didn’t know where the American was, and that he did not care. Youngjae told Jackson he should come clean about the whole phase 2, but the Chinese refused to. Then Youngjae told him that whenever he decided to be honest with his friends, he would be there to offer him the support he needed. He also said he would use the money Team Wang was paying him to find Mark’s whereabouts. Jackson didn’t take him seriously. He claimed that no private investigator in the world would find the American, and advised the publicist to stop dreaming. Youngjae didn't resent the Chinese, after all, he noticed that even though Mark was gone, Jackson wasn't able to find the rest that his soul sought for so long. He was officially dating Bo Young now. She had gotten a divorce and kept her kids. The Parks would certainly be dissatisfied if it wasn't Jackson who encouraged her to leave her husband. The Parks loved everything about Jackson Wang. He had become part of the family even before Soo young passed. Jinyoung was indifferent to their relationship. The writer was indifferent to many things since Mark wasn't around.

It was around 7 o'clock when Jaebeom entered his house with a half-conscious Jinyoung in tow.

"What's he doing here? Why did you have to bring him here?" Youngjae asked as a shiver ran down his spine. His interactions with Jinyoung were never good since the stabbing incident. It made him anxious to have the writer in their house.

"I couldn't leave him there. Neither Yugyeom nor Bambam was around. I had no choice. The book-signing event was going pretty well at first. He read excerpts of his novel with so much passion…It was like he was reading those lines for Mark himself. It was momentous, and he received a standing ovation from his loving fans. His readers lined up to get his autograph, and he seemed all right. Then half an hour later I found him on the bathroom floor of Team Wang babbling nonsense." Jaebeom shook his head in frustration. It wasn't the first time he witnessed his friend in such a saddening state.

"He's still abusing those drugs for depression that were prescribed to him?" Youngjae asked, a bit nervous, as he approached the couch where the writer was lying unconscious.

"I don't even know what he's been taking anymore. He doesn't tell me things like he used to." Jaebeom sighed, as he eyed the writer with concern. “It was like he was the one who had his heart stabbed.” The simple mention of that dreary episode made the publicist flinch, and swallow. Then a tide wave of overwhelming emotions enveloped him.

"I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I took him from Jin. I lured Mark to my bed, I made it look like you two were in the wrong. I destroyed their happiness, and ours...I’-m s-or-ry." Youngjae suddenly started sobbing and shaking like a leaf. Jaebeom quickly pulled him into his arms, but the more Youngjae kept staring at Jinyoung the more he felt like his chest was about to burst. Mark's voice resonated in his head one more time, _'if you survive this, it will grant you a beautiful scar...It will also remind you to stay away from Jinyoung, because you ruined his chance of being happy with me.'_

"It's okay, Jae. It doesn't matter anymore. I shouldn’t have said that. It was a long time ago. Jin will get over him, he has to." Jaebeom held him tighter and caressed his back, but Youngjae wasn't calming down. His breath was too erratic.

"Take me away from him. I can't be near him. I'm bad for him. Jin has to keep his distance from me. He's not supposed to be here. Get him out!" Youngjae shouted as panic took over him. Jaebeom quickly dragged him upstairs to their bedroom before the publicist had a panic attack. He sat him on the bed and told the younger to try to take deep breaths. But the younger only cried harder.

"We're here in our room. You don't have to see him. Calm down. Please, honey, breathe for me. Please, don't cry, Samchon. I love you." A frightened Jaebeom begged while he distributed tender kisses all over his husband's face. It had been a while since he told his husband that he loved him. Precisely, a year, seven months and a couple of weeks. The publicist couldn’t help but give him a tiny smile. The old nickname also did the trick. Youngjae slowly relaxed and his tears ceased.

"I love you too." The publicist whispered to Jaebeom. The latter gasped as realized he was too caught up in the moment. He knew he shouldn't be saying those things, but he didn't take them back. His lips abandoned the younger's cheeks for a brief second as he stared deep into his husband's eyes. Jaebeom's heart swelled in his chest. He did want to believe that Youngjae loved him too. He didn't have much time to wonder what was happening right there though. The publicist took advantage of the closeness of their mouths, and captured his lips in a desperate gesture. Jaebeom welcomed his kiss and eagerly deepened it.

Youngjae pulled his husband to him as he laid on his back. His feet felt like they had wings and he could fly high as long as he had Jaebeom's arms around him. He felt intoxicated by his scent and he just wanted to get lost in him. Everything felt perfect, until they were interrupted.

“It’s nice to love and be loved, isn’t it? This air of completeness and satiation that only two lovers can breathe. You know how it feels like, and you still took him from me! Why, Choi Youngjae? Why!?” An angry Jinyoung stood at the couple’s bedroom door with an expression of anguish etched on his face. The editor quickly disentangled himself from is husband and got out of the bed, but the author had already walked away from the scene. Youngjae seemed embarrassed and hurt at the same time by Jinyoung’s words, but he still told his husband to go after the writer.

Jinyoung was about to open the front door of the house when Jaebeom reached the living room. Before the writer could even touch the door handle, the doorbell rang.

“Jin, come back here. It’s not what it looks like. Jae and I are not like that anymore.” Jaebeom tried to really sound convincing as he approached his friend at the entryway, but the writer just ignored him, and opened the door. Unexpectedly, as soon as he did, two pairs of anxious eyes stared back at him.

“Oh, good thing you are here, dear cousin. We have something to show you.” Yugyeom announced quickly. He and Bambam hurriedly stepped forward and pushed the writer back into the house until they reached the living room. Jaebeom stared impatiently at them, but didn’t fail to notice the unusual look of excitement in their features.

“Kids, whatever this is, it can wait. Jin and I are discussing something important.” The editor started. The maknaes didn’t look like they were going anywhere.

“No we’re not. I don’t give a fuck to what you and your useless husband were doing in your goddamn bedroom. You can make out with him as much as you want. I just don’t know how can you stand kissing him when you’re not even sure if he’s thinking of me while he has his fucking tongue down your throat! You know what?! I’m gonna go.” Jinyoung spat, and tried to walk away again. Jaebeom was speechless, and unable to keep him from leaving. However, Bambam was fast, and blocked the writer’s path.

“Your cousin just said he has to show you something. Stop acting like a goddam prick, and listen to what he has to say.” The Thai said sternly, as he pushed Jinyoung to the sofa. The author exhaled, but stayed still. He usually wouldn’t listen to anyone, but when he rarely did, it was to Bambam. Lately, he would listen to him more than he listened to Jaebeom.

“Take a look at this photo, and tell me what do you see.” Yugyeom took his phone out of his pocket and sat beside his cousin on the sofa. He opened his twitter account and showed his cousin a picture of an event that happened the previous night. It was the Asian Artists Awards, and the particular photo showed the actress Jeon So-Nee sitting with a bunch of other actors and actresses in the audience.

“So what? I’m not a fan of drama. I’ve heard that some television producer wants to give Jeon So-Nee one of the main roles in the TV adaptation of my last novel, but I’m really not a fan of her. I haven’t seen any of her works, and I’m not interested. What am I supposed to-”

“Are you even looking at the goddam picture?!” Bambam cut him off and pointed to a person who was sitting behind her. The image was not the best, it seemed a bit blurred, but it still made Jinyoung gasp. Seeing his reaction, Jaebeom came closer to the trio, and also decided to have a look at the twitter post. He frowned at what he saw.

“Tell me guys, who is that?” Yugyeom asked in anticipation, as he zoomed the picture. The author’s eyes grew large.

“It could be anyone, Gyeom. Maybe a look-alike. Don’t start putting ideas inside Jin’s head. It can’t be-”

“You think I wouldn’t recognize my own freaking best friend?” Bambam cut the editor off and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What the hell would Mark be doing in an event that’s exclusively for Asian actors and actresses?” Jaebeom shrugged and gave the Thai a questioning look. The mention of the American’s name made Jinyoung close his eyes for a brief second. Then he opened them again, just to gaze at the pic one more time. Before Bambam could answer the incredulous JB, someone unexpected walked into the living room.

“You guys left the front door open.” An agitated Jackson stated, as he observed the apprehensive look on everyone’s faces. “Oh, you all have seen it too, right? The photos from AA Awards? It’s all over the Internet. Everyone is curious to know who is the handsome companion Jeon So-Nee took to the event. The press is making a fuss about him. I couldn’t believe my own eyes.” The Chinese was indeed shocked. He thought Mark would be dead by now, buried and gone. He did avoided questioning his half-brother about the American’s fate. Actually, Jackson had cut all ties with Daisuke after he took Mark away. He didn’t want to be remembered that he was Ito Hara’s son too.

“I knew it! I knew Mark hyung would be back! Bam always told me he would, and I believed him. Looks like my lovely boyfriend was right.” Yugyeom said ecstatically, as he stood up from the sofa and hugged the Thai.

“I’m glad I was right. It’s been so long… I was almost losing hope.” The Thai confessed, in a relieved tone. Yet, he was quite confused. He couldn’t help but wonder why Mark hadn’t contacted him since he was back in Korea.

“If he’s really here, what does that mean? Is he after Jae?” Jaebeom looked alarmed.

“I’m sure he’s not.” Bambam said quickly.

“Are there more photos? I need to make sure it’s him.” The writer looked expectantly at the Chinese. Jinyoung’s heart was beating like a hammer. He prayed that he wasn’t dreaming.

“There is. A bunch of them. His face is all over Jeon So-Nee’s social media.” Jackson said, in a concerned tone. What was Mark doing there? What was his connection with that actress? Was the American coming for him? What the hell had happened to his half-brother?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You know what,  
> You’re my last hope, my answer  
> You’re the missing last piece  
> You know what  
> You’re the reason for my existence, the beginning and the end  
> The most important piece..."  
> ~by Lim Jaebeom (DefSoul), Got7


	47. Take me to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” - Kahlil Gibran

Jaebeom got in contact with the acting company of the actress Jeon So-nee, and it didn't take long for him to get in touch with her manager. The editor was able to arrange a meeting between her and Jinyoung, yet, he wasn't sure if she would provide the information they needed to find the American. Jaebeom was doing all he could to help the writer. His best friend was more than anxious to see Mark again. Jinyoung wouldn't sleep until he got some information regarding where his boyfriend could be found. Jaebeom promised himself that he would bring them together once more. He felt that he had to do that, since his husband was the one who supposedly broke them up. 

The press came up with several speculations about Jeon So-nee's relationship with Mark, but they didn't even know his name or where he was from. Since neither the actress nor her agency would utter a word about the mysterious companion she brought to the AAA, the American's identity was protected. The mystery surrounding Mark's appearance at that event and his connection with the actress was intriguing, and Jaebeom couldn't help but think that her agency was loving the publicity. No official announcement was made, the secrecy about a possible new love interest remained, and the actress continued in the spotlight of the media. Jaebeom also wondered what would it take for Jeon So-nee to reveal Mark's whereabouts to the bestselling author Park Jinyoung. According to some sources, the woman wasn't easy to deal with.

The editor decided that he would be present in that meeting. He had to monitor Jinyoung. Although the writer was unusually sober, he was too agitated, and that could be a problem. Jeon So-nee was a public figure and they had to be careful with whatever they told that one. The actress had been through several scandals, and the last one even included a co-star of the last television series she took part in. 

Jaebeom wanted to be in that meeting not just to keep an eye on his friend. Jaebeom had too many questions that he wanted to ask the American. He needed to talk to him in person. Like everyone else, he was extremely curious to know what Mark was doing at Korean awards ceremony with a famous actress. But that was not all. He wanted to know if the American still had a grudge against his husband, and if Youngjae was in danger. He wanted to know why Mark never contacted Jinyoung since he claimed to love him so much. He wanted to know if Jackson really had nothing to do with his disappearance, and he also wanted to know if the main character of ‘ _The Inhuman Life of a Former China Doll’_ was really based on him. 

Jinyoung had sent his editor all the drafts of that fearsome tale after Mark left. Jinyoung didn't even bother about changing names of people or locations in those pages. The writer was so distressed at the time that he gave the story to the editor and told him to do whatever he wanted with it. Jaebeom didn't think he would be able to finish that horror tale until the end, but he did. After he was done, he put it in a drawer and never opened it again. Team Wang never published the short story, not even under one of Jinyoung's pen name. The editor questioned his friend about the veracity of the words he read, but the author never confirmed anything. Jinyoung didn't think he could write anything else back then. Therefore, Jaebeom convinced his friend to write about his pain, the one he felt after his boyfriend left. Only after his heartfelt advice, the author forced himself to give birth to a final work. After a year and a couple of months, Last Piece: Breath of Love took form. Jaebeom didn't know if the publishing of that book was one of the reasons that caused the American's return, but he was determined to find that out.

The meeting was at Jeon So-nee's agency. Her manager claimed that it would be the perfect place for such a meeting, and that no information about it would leak to the press. He also informed Jaebeom that the actress was ecstatic to meet the author Park Jinyoung. According to him, she was one of his greatest fans.

After thirty minutes of waiting, Jinyoung and Jaebeom were sitting at a table, face to face with Jeon So-nee. The latter spent more than 15 minutes adulating the author.

"Park-shi, I can't even imagine I'm having the honor of-"

"The man who was with you at AAA. I need his contact." The writer asked without much patience.

"You're after him too? How come?" The woman eyed him puzzled.

"We believe he's the acquaintance of an acquaintance." The editor said quickly.

"I don't think so. Unless the great Park Jinyoung have acquaintances who are acquainted with escorts." The actress raised an eyebrow at the editor, and then her suspicious eyes travelled to the author.

"A what?!" Jaebeom was obviously shocked to hear that, but not the writer. He was relentless.

"Give us his contact, now." Jinyoung pursed his lips. That information bothered him to no end, but he wouldn't let it show. He had no idea in which state he would find the older, but he was expecting the worst, as always. All the suffocating time they spent apart, he pictured Mark in several sceneries. And in each one of those sceneries the American was in a dark place, isolated, mistreated and abandoned. For a long time Jinyoung had a recurrent perturbing dream. In the dreadful dream, Mark was locked in trap, and the more he struggled, the more it closed in on him. No matter how much the American tried to find a way out, or how many times he screamed Jinyoung’s name, no one was able to hear his pleas. Mark was completely lost to him. While the American drowned in darkness, he saw himself in a deserted island, running in the same place, going round and round, and never reaching anywhere. Then the scenery would suddenly change. For a moment, he would think he was aboard the Eland Han River Cruise, where he and Mark had their very first date. Nevertheless, there was something very different about it. The sky was sunless and shadowy. He was by himself as a heavy fog surrounded him, blurring the tears that would flow from his eyes. He was on a drifting wrecked ship in the reckless ocean, constantly struck by the waves. There was no sign of a dock he could reach, he was alone in a complex maze of the vast ocean. He knew he had to save Mark, but there was no sign of him anywhere. The wind would blow past the horizon and whisper his name, the birds would fly towards him singing a familiar melody. The seagulls would try to guide him, to show him the answer he was looking for, a safe coast, his beloved. He believed that they were taking him to Mark. At some point, he would gather enough courage to jump out of the ship and start swimming, battling against the violent, turbulent water engulfing him. No matter how tired he would get, he would repeat to himself that once he crossed the ocean, he would be able to meet Mark again and rest beside him. He would not be afraid of dying if he had a chance to see him again, the light that made his whole world alive, the tranquillity that would shun away the dangerous storm closing in. The dream would end with the waves taking him away, and when he thought he was about to drown, he would feel a hand pulling him out of the water. However, as soon as he would sense the firmness of that hand which tried to rescued him, he would look back down for some reason, and notice Mark’s motionless body in the bottom of the sea. That haunting dream would often make him never want to sleep again. Whenever he woke up from it, he would swear to himself that no matter in which form or state he found the American, he would never let go of him again. Even if Mark had turned into a soulless shell of who he used to be.

"I'm not allowed to." She declared coyly.

"Why the hell not?!" The writer raised his voice a little, but the editor put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

"I have an image to preserve." The woman said quickly.

"Whatever you tell us in this room will remain in this room." Jaebeom assured her.

"What you're willing to do for that information?" She asked suddenly, cocking her head to the side.

"Excuse me?!" The editor frowned.

"Don't get so worked up. I just want a favor from Park-shi. It's not a big deal." She said in a cunning way.

"What favor?" Jinyoung asked hurriedly.

"Jin-"

"Stay out of this JB." The author warned, as he eyed his friend with exasperation, and then turned to the woman. "What is it?"

"I don't know yet. But I'll let you know soon." She replied calmly.

"Deal." Jinyoung stated firmly. Jaebeom shook his head in disapproval. He knew that his friend was making a mistake there.

"Okay. Look, my manager found him in a certain establishment located in a 5 star hotel that you can only enter by invitation. We just needed someone to look good by my side at the AAA. My agency said we had to find someone new, a mysterious new face. For publicity, you know? Plus, I wanted to show him off to my ex. The fucker keeps rubbing at my face the fact he's going out with some hot model." The actress sighed in frustration and then smiled proudly. "Malik did catch everybody's attention, didn't he? Such a cutie. Someone recommended him, and I have no regrets. However, he's not cheap, I assure you."

"Malik?" Jinyoung's heart beat faster. He would never forget that name. It was really his Mark, not an impostor. But then he wondered what could the American be doing in a place like that, selling his body to Korean celebrities. Jinyoung felt a mix of emotions wash over him. He felt confused, worried, angry, heartbroken and jealous. "Did he provide you some other kind of service besides attending that event with you?" Jinyoung asked out of the blue. The woman scoffed, but didn't answer his question directly.

"With a man like that, all for me, for the whole night…What do you think? It's not just his looks, you know? He has such a sexy accent! And I swear I heard him moan some English stuff in my ear while he-"

"Jeon So-nee-shi, that's enough. Where's this establishment located?" Jaebeom's tone had an edge to it. He knew Jinyoung was not comfortable with that kind of talk. He knew that if the woman kept talking of how good it was to have Mark in her bed, Jinyoung would lose it.

"I can text you the address, once Park-shi gives me his phone number." So-nee said with a wicked smile on her lips. "By the way, I'll give you my own business card." The actress added, as she took a card out of her purse and handed it to the editor. "This is the invitation. Consider it your key. It's the only way you can get in there and make business. I really recommend." Jeon So-nee winked at him and then fixed her eyes on a fuming Jinyoung. "Who's going to try the menu in there? You, or him?"

Jinyoung eyed her with utter disgust. The editor felt compelled to make up some story to throw her off the scent. "We just wanna talk to him So-nee-shi. We just told you that there's this acquaintance of ours-"

"I don't have to try the menu to know how exquisite it is. I already had a taste of it. Many times. More than I can count. I know how addictive it can be. But you should know that neither you, nor anyone else you will get another chance to savor the same dish once I get him out of the menu." A serious Jinyoung cut JB off and stated without reserves. The woman's smile grew large. She was definitely enjoying that meeting. Jaebeom was speechless. He cursed himself for not being fast enough to shut the author's mouth. He feared what the actress could do with that kind of information.

"Don't tell me...The bestselling author Park Jinyoung is actually gay? Interesting." So-nee clicked her tongue and gave her cellphone to the writer, so he could save his contact there.

"I'm sure you'll protect my privacy as I'll protect yours. Imagine what the press would do if they found out we both fucked the same escort. Would you even act in another film or TV series again? I don't give a damn about my career. It's over already. However, yours is just beginning. I'm sure you won't jeopardize it." Jinyoung commented darkly as he handed the cellphone back to her after saving his number in it. The woman's smile faded. Jaebeom cleared his throat.

"Thank you So-nee-shi. I appreciate all the help you provided us. Sorry for taking too much of your time. I understand how busy you are. It was really a pleasure. We should get going." The appalled editor announced, as he tried to hide his nervousness. Jinyoung had already walked out the door when the woman made one last comment.

"Tell Jin I'll keep in contact. We'll discuss what he can do for me later." She said informally, before bowing to the editor. "Wish him good luck for me. He's gonna need it. These kind of relationships are not supposed to last." The woman chuckled, grabbed her purse, and left the room nonchalantly, leaving a flustered Jaebeom behind.

***********

It was late at night. Bambam was at the game room of Spinning Top observing a couple of guys playing pool. He couldn't concentrate on work. He could barely mix a basic drink that night. He waited for news regarding his best friend. Jinyoung and Jaebeom were supposed to call him after they met the actress who was on the photos with Mark. Yugyeom was watching the bar, while his boyfriend took a five-minute break. The Korean had already learned how to mix a few drinks at that point. At least the most popular ones. Bambam trusted him enough to let him handle their regulars and a couple of new costumers.

Bambam suddenly became distracted by the loud cheering of some ladies next to a dartboard a few feet away from the pool table. Someone was hitting the target continuously, without a single mistake. But this person was quite far from the dartboard. That person was wearing a black cap that almost covered half of his face. Bambam quickly recognized that silhouette. That technique of throwing sharp objects from a long distance seemed quite familiar. His heart almost stopped. 

When the person realized he was being watched, he ran to the back of the bar. Then the Thai immediately ran after him.

"Wait! MT!? Come back!" Bambam called after the man, but as soon as he reached the back room of the bar, someone grabbed him by the nape of his neck and turned him around roughly.

"You tell your fucking Korean friends to stay away from me. I already have to hide from the fucking journalists. I don't need private investigators on my tail." Mark hissed as he pressed the young man against the wall.

"Mark! You're really here! Oh my God, it's really you! What happened to you? Why are you like this?!" Bambam managed to say, too astonished to see his best friend right before him. He was even more taken aback by the fact that the American was talking in Korean while grabbing his neck tightly.

"Why am I like this? Should I show you why I am-"

Before Mark could finish his sentence a security guard tore him away from Bambam. The guard easily pushed Mark to the ground and climbed on top of him. The large man was about to punch the American when Bambam told the guard to stop and leave them alone. The guard eyed him with uncertainty, but did what he was told and walked back to the front of the bar.

"You shouldn't let him leave. I could kill you right now." Mark said menacingly.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Why would you kill your fucking best friend that you don't see for more than a goddamn year?" Bambam complained as he massaged his neck. The other sat up on the floor and gave him a dirty look.

"Best friend? I know exactly who you are now Kunpimook. I know what you did! All that story about your fucking parents were lies. When you showed up at 777 Ways you were following Hara's orders. You went there to spy on me! You weren't a poor starving kid whoring yourself on the streets to survive. Everything you ever told me were lies!" Mark hissed, and the young looked away in shame.

"How did you find out?" Bambam inhaled.

"The Programmer. We spent some quality time together." Mark replied shortly.

"Kaoru is alive?!" Bambam was shocked.

"Not anymore." Mark spat.

"Did you-"

"It's none of your business. I've already dealt with enemy 777. It's done." Mark stood up from the floor and stared hard at him. "I put your name in my list too, you know. How many sevens I should carve on you? How many do you think you deserve?"

"Look, that was a long time ago. I'm not one of them anymore. I admit I lied to you. I had to, it was my mission. I did report to the Collector all the transactions going on in there. I did keep an eye on you. I pretended to be your innocent protégé. Maybe it was like that in the beginning. But I did care for you, Mark. I really became who I was pretending to be. Your Thai friend and roommate who was always there for you. I protected you without you even knowing it." Bambam hoped his sincerity touched his friend's heart. But Mark was not making things easy for him.

"Great friend you are! I should know that every single person who approaches me is not who they say they are. You're no different from them." Mark sneered, as he glared at the younger.

"You and I both know that sometimes we have to do all kinds of things to survive. Whatever is necessary. Hara killed my parents and took me in. What was I supposed to do? I was just a kid!" Bambam struggled to justify himself, but Mark just shook his head in disgust.

"I'm not here to listen to your freaking excuses. I want you to tell them to stop coming after me. It's bad for business." Mark stated firmly.

"Business? What business?" The Thai frowned at him. But the older wasn't in the mood for an interrogation. He just went straight to the point.

"Who is it? Who is paying those stupids PIs?" Mark questioned briskly, as he stood up and crossed his arms.

"I don't know. I heard Jae was paying a guy, but I also heard that Jinyoung had someone in America-"

"Jin?" A shadow fell over Mark's eyes when he pronounced the name. "Does he still remember me?"

"Of course he does! We all do. What the fuck, man! How can you even ask something like that? We missed you and we worried about you." Bambam retorted, as he came closer to him. Mark shook his head in denial and took a step back.

"What about his dear dongsaeng? I fucking stabbed him! I am a monster! Why would Jae want to find me? Why would Jin miss me after all this time? I had promised him that Cameron Zhou was the last person I would..."

"Kill? I knew you had something to do with it." Bambam snorted. He had already guessed that Cameron's death in prison was Mark's doing.

"You weren't supposed to know. I was protecting Joey and you at the same time." Mark uttered quietly.

"I figured." Bambam gave him a sad smile. He couldn't stop marveling at how fluent the older sounded. His Korean had definitely gotten better. Bambam wondered if Mark had been in Korea all that time. He still couldn't believe his friend was safe and sound. He had so many questions to as him, but he was sure the older wouldn't be willing to answer them now. Besides being angry, he seemed to be in a hurry and not ready to listen to his apologies.

"If they were so curious about me, they should've just asked Jackson. Isn't Youngjae his naive fucking partner?" The American grimaced and Bambam realized that he was right about the Chinese all along. But even if he was aware of that information earlier, he wouldn't be able to help his friend before it was too late. Mark had vanished in thin air and Jackson wouldn't let anyone know how to find him, not even under torture.

"I knew Wang was behind this, but Youngjae kept denying it. I thought that if I managed to befriend Jackson I would find out about you, but he's a very clever individual. His mouth is a tomb. I don't even think he tells Jae everything. Your former Korean teacher probably had no idea of Jackson's real intentions. He certainly doesn't know that Jackson delivered you into the hands of the likes of the Programmer." Bambam commented thoughtfully, feeling like he should have done more to find his best friend. He thought that maybe he should've blackmailed Jackson, beat him up, or kidnapped him. He wished he was as cold-blooded as he used to be when he worked for Hara. He felt like he let Mark down.

"How convenient!" Mark gritted his teeth, took his cap off for a mere second and ran a hand through his hair. Bambam almost smiled at that familiar gesture. He was glad that man was back.

"We saw the pictures of you and that actress. I couldn't believe at first, but I had this spark of hope...Yuggie was so happy! Jin almost had a stroke. Even Jackson Fucking Wang was surprised." Bambam was utterly convinced that his friend was a survivor. He admired his tenacity, but he could guess that the American's emotional stability was once more challenged. He remembered when Mark left the Collector's Case, the older wasn't alright for a long time, it took him a couple of months before he started acting like a 'regular' human being again.

"Fuck him! Fuck them! Fuck you! Fuck all of you!" Mark shouted at him suddenly.

"Mark, we have no idea of what you've been through! We didn't know where you could be. I got your message at Jae's apartment but that was it. I didn't even know where to start looking for you. None us knew. I'm sure you had a hard time. It must've been pure hell. And I am really sorry, okay? But here you are, alive! You managed to come back! I know you are mad and-"

"I'm not mad Kunpimook! You have seen me mad before, and this is not it. I'm fucking incensed right now! If I stay here one more minute, either your security guard will strangle me, or I will strangle you." Mark snarled and marched towards the exit. "I can't stand being around you any longer." But Bambam wouldn't let him go so easily. He had more to say. 

"Mark, you need to see him. He needs you. We all need you back in our lives. Jinyoung is a shadow of who he used to be, Youngjae is a recluse and his marriage with JB went to hell. Please, let me update you about everyone, let me explain things. Let me make amends, for what I've done in the past. Let me tell you why I didn't leave Korea to look for you after you disappeared. I wanna hear your troubles, I want to know how you escaped from wherever you were. I want to know who harmed you, and how they perished. Because I know you dealt with them. Please, let's just sit down, talk and have a few drinks. I wanna be your friend again. You and I can be like before. Nothing's changed." Bambam pleaded as he grabbed his friend's arm.

"Everything's changed." Mark muttered, as he brushed him away and left he bar.


	48. 1:31 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nothing is ever really lost to us, as long as we remember it." - Lucy Maud Montgomery

The American walked fast as he crossed the street. He was already a bit far from _Spinning Top_ when he noticed he was being followed. He knew it couldn't be a journalist or a private investigator. This person was trying too had to be inconspicuous, but he or her was being too obvious. Mark could tell when he was being hunted, and somehow that person wasn't as skillful as a real predator. It couldn't be Bambam either, he would've noticed the Thai following him out of the bar. The American then made his way into a dark alley, and waited for his stalker to follow him there. The action was so predictable that made him sigh in frustration. The moment the stranger stepped into the alley, he grabbed him by his jacket. It was a man, a young one, and he almost yelped when the older lunged at him.

"Hyung, don't! It's me." The familiar voice exclaimed, as the young man held his hands up and cowered in fear.

Mark's eyes softened when he laid eyes on Kim Yugyeom. He let go of the maknae and sighed.

"What do you want?"

"First, I want this." Yugyeom said as he wrapped his arms around the older and hugged him tightly. Mark didn't hug him back at first, but when the youngster started crying, he patted his back in a soothing manner. "Let's get out of here before a paparazzi shows up, okay? Come with me." The American whispered to the pitiful Korean and dragged him away from that dark alley.

Yugyeom had stopped crying when they reached a hotel. The younger didn't understand why they went there or why the doorman eyed him weirdly. Mark told him to stay silent until they got into the elevator. 

"This is where you're staying?" Yugyeom asked carefully, as the doors of the elevator closed. He was amazed by 

the luxury that surrounded them.

"For the time being." Mark replied, and as soon as they got to the 17th floor, he signaled the younger to follow him.

"How long have you been here? Why didn't you contact us?" The younger pressed, as soon as they entered Mark's opulent room.

"Do you want something to drink?" Mark ignored his questions and poured some rum for himself. The younger swallowed and declined the beverage. The older noticed his uneasiness and tried his best to be frank with the Korean."I didn't bring you here to chitchat. Your boyfriend was a pain earlier, and I'm not in the mood for sharing. Let's play a game, shall we?"

"Hyung, we need to talk! My cousin is-"

"I don't wanna hear it! If you mention Jinyoung again, I'll throw you out!" Mark cut him off briskly, and sat on the edge of the bed. The younger exhaled, but nodded to him.

What game?" Yugyeom furrowed his eyebrows and sat in a chair next to his bed. 

"Truth or dare."

"Mark hyung, seriously?" The maknae eyed him in disbelief.

"You first, truth or dare?" The American insisted, as he took another sip of his drink.

"Truth." The anguished younger said, a bit uncertain.

"Why didn't Bam look for me?" Mark asked suddenly. Yugyeom eyed him apologetically and started.

"Hyung-"

"Don't lie to me. I'm sick of liars. Tell me the truth."

"I asked him not to." Yugyeom said at once. "He suspected that Jackson hyung was involved with your disappearance. He wanted to go back to his old ways. He said he could try to get in contact with some old 'colleagues', find more clues. But I knew that if he did, I would probably never see him again. The few times I saw him in his 'fight mode' it was too scary. If he went back to his underworld activities, I wasn't sure if he would come back to me. I'm sorry. I couldn't lose him." The younger sounded guilty, but utterly honest.

"You did the right thing. Thank you." Mark said quietly. There was no resentment in his voice. He had travelled to South Korea with Bambam to give him a chance to lead a proper life. That's all he wanted for his best friend. He couldn't blame the Thai for choosing to stay by Yugyeom's side. He wouldn't want him to get involved with neither Dan nor Kaoru ever again. Yugyeom did what he was supposed to. He was looking after his boyfriend. Mark wouldn't expect less from him. When he found out that Bambam worked for Hara, he was shocked and hurt, but he did understand that his best friend had his reasons to be part of that organization. It wasn't a choice. He just went to Spinning Top that night and scared him a little because he knew that Bambam had already realized he was near. After being photographed beside a famous actress at the AAA , Mark was aware that the whole Seoul had already seen his face on the actress social media. Mark had foreseen that the Thai would probably spot him in the pictures and start looking for him. Mark didn't want that. He wanted Bambam to forget about him, completely. He just wanted to be forgotten by those he loved.

"You're welcome. I kinda knew you would say that." The younger gave him a knowing look. "Truth or dare?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at the older. He knew Mark would chose dare, because he didn't want to talk about what happened to him. He predicted that the older would avoid spilling any truth at that moment. The maknae knew what he was doing.

"Dare." An unbothered Mark said, before he took another sip of his rum.

"You're gonna call my cousin and stay on the line for 7 seconds." Yugyeom smirked proudly, while his hyung almost choked on his drink.

"No." An uneasy Mark replied when he managed to recover his voice. "I don't even have his number."

"Oh, you can use my phone. Here you are. I'll even make the call for you." Yugyeom informed him, and quickly checked his contact list. He threw his phone at the older. It landed on his lap. The name on the screen made him gasp. Mark eyed it with a nameless longing.

"No one is picking up. He must be busy." Mark muttered, as he stared at the mobile on his lap. It was already dialing and the speaker was on.

"Yeah, he's probably busy looking for you." Yugyeom was trying to make the other see that avoiding Jinyoung was not the answer. And that even if he didn't want to be found, the writer would find him sooner or later.

"He's wasting his time. Even if you leave here and tell him where I am now, he won't be able to get in here. He'll need-"

Before Mark finished his sentence, the call was answered.

"Gyeom-ah! What is it this time? This better be important!" Jinyoung's voice resounded in the room. It sent a shiver down Mark's spine. His panicked eyes fixed on Yugyeom, who remained in silence. He was checking his watch. The dare was supposed to have 7 seconds. "Why aren't you saying anything? What the hell!"

"2 more seconds." Yugyeom whispered to Mark, who unconsciously looked away and just gave a deep sigh.

"Mark? Mark, is that you?!" Jinyoung's voice pronounced his name in such a desperate way, that it made his heart ache. He wondered how the author could guess that it was him on the line. He didn't even utter a word. All he did was sigh. The disquieted American unwillingly finished the call. It had been more than 7 seconds already.

"You could have said something." Yugyeom commented, a bit disappointed.

"This game is over. Go home." An unsettled Mark told the youngster.

"Don't you wanna come with me? I'm not saying that you should sit down and have a proper heart to heart with Bam. I mean, only if you want to." The Korean scratched his head as he struggled to say the right words. "You should only do what you feel comfortable to do. But I'd like to show you how Dalkyum has grown. He's good friends with Pudding, Cupcake, Latte, and King. All our pets get along pretty well. We made some changes in the apartment too. The potted plant you've given us is still there." The Yugyeom tried to change come up with lighter subjects, knowing that Mark was not going to share with him nor Bam the heavy stuff.

"Three of his cats has food and beverage names? My friend surely has no imagination." Mark chuckled, and if it wasn't for the knocking at his door, he would've asked the Korean more about his 'kids'.

"Malik? Are you decent? Can I come in?" The voice asked from outside.

Mark eyed Yugyeom with urgency and got up from the bed just to sit on his lap. The youngster was confused at first, but when Mark put one finger against his lips, the Korean froze.

"Don't say anything. Just follow my lead." The American whispered to him, and at the same time a man barged into the room.

"I heard you had a costumer, but I was not informed about it. We have rules that are not supposed to be broken. I control the bookings, remember? Who's he?" A tall man in his late thirties asked, as he eyed Mark's companion suspiciously.

"An idol. His name is Yoga. He's a singer and dancer from a JYPE boy group called Got7. Quite famous, and hot, isn't he?" Mark said quickly as he gave Yugyeom a quick peck on the lips and grinded against him a bit. The boy blushed furiously and lowered his head to hide his embarrassment. He tried to stay still like his hyung had warned him.

"I've never heard of any Got7." The man commented, a bit suspicious.

"Does it matter? He has money to spend here. Will you give us some privacy now? He's a bit shy." Mark said, as he ruffled the younger's hair and slowly started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Very well. Just make sure he pays up on his way out. Some celebrities are such a pain." The man said shaking his head in frustration and then cleared his throat. "Have a great time in our hotel, sir. Sorry for the disturbance." After bowing to Yugyeom he just nodded to Mark and walked out of the room. 

"Please, get off me hyung." The flushed youngster pleaded.

"What, do I make you nervous? Maybe you're liking our little role-play too much?" Mark gave him a killer smile and bounced on his lap. The Korean gasped, and shot him a ludicrous look.

"Stop! This is not funny. I'm serious." Yugyeom whined and tried to push the older off him.

"Surprised to know the kind of profession I lead these days?" Mark snorted and leaned on the younger just enough to whisper in his ear. "Wanna be my client tonight?"

"What?! No! What the heck!" Yugyeom stood up abruptly and Mark fell from his lap and hit the ground. 

"Shit! I was just messing with you. I have no intention of fucking you tonight, nor any other night, kid. You're Bambam's guy. I'm not a home wrecker. Can't you take a joke? Relax." Mark complained on the floor, as he rubbed his shoulder.

"Sorry. Are you hurt?" A disconcerted Yugyeom said apologetically, as he helped the older up.

"I'm fine. But I'll feel much better if you stay the night." Mark said out of the blue.

"Mark hyung-"

"Come on. I'm not gonna attack you or anything like that. I promise you. We can share the bed, it's big enough for both of us. I'd rather have your company for the whole night than having to please some stranger until sunrise." Mark said bitterly, as he grabbed him by the hand and pulled the younger towards the bed. Yugyeom hesitated. He eyed with reticence the phone vibrating on the mattress. It had been doing that annoying action for quite a while. They both knew who was calling. Jinyoung had somehow figured out that they were together.

"My cousin will not stop calling." Yugyeom commented, a bit stressed.

"Let him. He'll get tired of it at some point." The American huffed.

"I could tell him where we are, you know." The younger muttered.

"I know you could. But you won't. At least not now. I trusted you enough to bring you to my own room. I'm counting on your discretion. At least for tonight. I can't deal with Park Jinyoung right now." Mark looked away wearily.

"Hyung, you don't have to be in a place like this, you don't have to do these things. Spinning Top is also yours. You own one of the hottest bars in Seoul. You're a bartender, not an escort! I know that, and Jinyoung hyung knows that too. Even if he finds out what you've been doing he won't care. Whatever happened during the year you've been away won't ever change what my cousin feels for you. You can come home-"

"I am home. This is what I am Gyeom. A whore. Part of this hotel is a whorehouse. Therefore, I am where I belong." Mark cut him off, a bit irritated.

"No, you aren't. We both know that. Stop putting yourself down. I know you've been through some serious fucked up shit in your past. Gosh, I can't even imagine how many times you were called that. But you mustn't let their opinions of you define who you are. You're a lot of things hyung, but you're not a whore." Yugyeom stated firmly.

"Of course I am. I chose to be one. I get paid to sleep with people. That's what sex workers do. The only difference between me and the others hookers on the streets is that my clients are all rich and famous, and instead of going after them, I let them come to me." Mark said absentmindedly.

"Listen to yourself. You can't convince me that you enjoy doing something like that. You'll never persuade me to believe that selling your body can be more rewarding than selling cocktails. This is ludicrous!" The Korean eyed him in disbelief.

"This is my job now. You don't have to like it. Anyways, what's so wrong in being a whore? You shouldn't look down on my profession. I play an important role in Korean society. People here are too uptight. I kind of find a way for them to relieve their stress. With me, they get to be whoever they wanna be for a short time. No boundaries, no reservations. Just pleasure. I like pleasuring people." Mark insisted, but he didn't look the younger in the eye when he said that.

"Only the ones you don't love." Yugyeom gave him an accusatory look. He felt bad for his cousin. He could almost feel the despair in his voice when the writer miraculously recognized Mark's sigh through the phone. He wished he could call him. However, the American now had such a defeated expression on his face that he didn't dare to reproach him further.

"Please let's just go to sleep, okay? I know you mean well. You always do, but things have changed now. I changed. Jinyoung won't take me back once he finds out how much I've changed...I don't wanna think about that now. I just wanna lay down and wake up tomorrow beside a familiar face. It's been so long since I've shared a bed with a friend. I'd like to remember how it feels like. Indulge me." The American gave him a pleading look. Yugyeom had never seen him so needy. "Just for tonight."

"All right, I guess I can do that. But I have to call Bam. He might be worried. I'll just say I'm staying over at a friend's house." The Korean relented and laid on the bed with him. He adjusted his head on the pillow beside Mark's. The American smiled at him and patted his head. Yugyeom whined as unwillingly ignored his cousin's call and called his boyfriend. Before he could even say hello, the Thai's hushed voice reached his ears.

_"Yug, is he with you? Don't lie to me. Jinyoung called. He's absolutely losing his shit. He says he heard Mark-"_

"He's mistaken. I'm with a friend." Yugyeom said awkwardly, as he eyed the hyung by his side with frustration.

_Why did you leave the bar unattended? Did you know Mark stopped by? Who's this friend of yours?!"_

Yugyeom grimaced, he didn't know how to lie to his boyfriend. Mark shook his head at him, and took the phone from his ear.

"It's me. Now stop freaking out. Your boyfriend will be back in the morning."

_"Jesus Christ, Mark?!"_

"No, not Jesus, just Mark. Look I'm gonna borrow your boyfriend for a couple of hours, okay? Do you have a problem with that, Kunpimook Bhuwakul?"

_"No, not at all. You can keep him with you for as long as you need. Where are-"_

"Good. Tell Mr. Bestselling author to stop calling. We're tired and we want to sleep!" Mark cut him off and hung up before the Thai could say anything else.

"He's gonna bombard me with questions tomorrow morning." Yugyeom complained, as he observed the older turn off his phone and place it on the nightstand.

"Shh, just ignore him. Sleep." Mark commanded and pulled the blankets over both of them.

"How much does it cost to spend a night in your room?" The younger asked curiously. Mark chuckled.

"A lot. But I bet you can afford me, even though you're not a celebrity."

"What are you talking about? According to you I'm a Got7 member, some guy called Yoga. Does this boy group even exist, or you made it up?" Yugyeom scoffed.

"It does exist. I got to meet a bunch of idols in this field of work. I haven't had the pleasure of sharing a bed with any cute member of an idol group though. Well, not until Yoga showed up." Mark winked at him and grinned.

"Promise me not to tell Bambam that you kissed me." The younger uttered in a more serious tone as Mark snuggled up against him.

"That was just an act. I wasn't trying to seduce you, Gyeom. Geez, you are so totally whipped, aren't you?" The American arched an eyebrow. Yugyeom gave him a helpless look.

"Hyung-"

"I promise, kid. Good night." Mark whispered as he rolled his eyes at him and eyed the clock on the wall. It was already 1:31 AM, and he wondered if Jinyoung had managed to give up on trying to reach Yugyeom. He hoped that the writer had finally gotten some sleep. The sound of his troubled voice through the phone overwhelmed him. The American wished he could have the courage, to at least ask, him how he was doing. He wished he could’ve asked him if he still had that beautiful eye smile of his. Mark specially missed that while he was away. He missed all of him. He wished he could tell Jinyoung that although they were distant from each other, he had never really left him. Jinyoung was never erased from his mind, or banned from his thoughts. The writer remained in a secret chamber inside his soul, forever cemented in his core. He wondered if he still had an exclusive room inside the writer’s heart. He wondered if his place there had been threatened by someone else at some point. He wished he could tell his beloved that he was still waiting for him to find him, even though he himself was completely lost.

Mark sighed deeply, as he noticed a lonesome tear disappear on his pillow. He glanced at the giant baby asleep beside him, kissed his forehead, and finally cut the light.


	49. Laughing Through Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will never again know who I am, what I am, what I love, what I want. Your beauty has drowned me, the core of me. You carry away with you a part of me reflected in you. When your beauty struck me, it dissolved me. Deep down, I am not different from you. I dreamed you, I wished for your existence." ― Anaïs Nin

"Where the fuck have you been?!" A seething author demanded as he grabbed the maknae by the lapel of his shirt. The young man wasn't surprised by his cousin’s unreasonable attitude.

As soon as Yugyeom opened the door of his apartment, three anxious faces were staring back at him. His cousin looked more than anxious though, he looked like he was at his wits' end. He tried his best to calm him down, by assuring the writer that he would tell him everything that happened the night before. Jaebeom, Bambam and Jinyoung listened attentively to his account of events. Yugyeom revealed to them everything that took place during his visit to 'Malik's room'. Throughout his narration, which earned gasps and sighs from the others, he noticed how quiet his cousin had suddenly become.

"The overall situation is good. I mean, he's alive and we know where he is now." The maknae declared at last, trying to sound more optimistic than he actually felt.

"If he doesn't disappear on us again." Bambam shook his head in frustration as he paced around the living room.

"We just have to get him out of there before he does. We stopped by the hotel yesterday. We even had the business card that could guarantee our entrance, but we were told 'Malik' was already booked for the whole night. We would never guess that it was you in there with him, Gyeom." Jaebeom commented from the couch thoughtfully. Then he glanced at the silent author sitting beside him. "We'll try again tonight, okay?"

"I'm coming along." Bambam stated firmly.

"Guys, I'm not sure if he'll be happy to see all of you there at once. I don't even know if the three of you will be allowed to go in there at the same time. In my opinion, we should let Jinyoung hyung go there by himself tonight. They need some time alone to talk." Yugyeom said, trying to reason with them. The others seemed to ponder his words for a while.

"Did he really say that? That I wouldn't take him back once I found out how much he's changed?" Jinyoung eyed his cousin with apprehension, finally breaking his silence.

"Yeah. I don't know what he meant with that but it could be anything. Maybe he's ashamed, or scared that you might reject him because of the kind of work he does." Yugyeom replied, not really confident about his own conclusions.

"Mark is never ashamed of the shit he does. Whatever he is doing, he is doing it for a purpose." Bambam commented quietly. He couldn’t stop thinking about their argument in the backroom of Spinning Top. His guts told him that his best friend was on a mission and that the older didn’t want anyone’s interference in his plans.

"Although he says he wants us to stay away, something tells me that he did want to be found after all." Jaebeom said, putting a consoling hand on his friend's shoulder. "Your search is over at last, Jin. Go get him."

"It's been a year and seven months. He is not the only one who's changed. It's time we both get reacquainted with each other. It's inevitable." Jinyoung declared, with an unusual spark of determination in his eyes.

The three of them started to give advice to the writer. Although Jinyoung assured them that he wouldn't leave that hotel without Mark, they tried to suggest ways for him to convince the American to come back home. 

While the four of them discussed possible strategies to get the American back, someone else's anxiety was going through the roof. Youngjae was up to date with the latest news. Even though Jaebeom tried not to mention Mark's name when he was around him, the publicist was aware of the American's return. His private investigator was keeping him informed. He already knew about the 5 star hotel, Mark's current 'occupation', and how to get a business card to book him for a night. Youngjae was just trying to gather enough courage to pay him a visit, but he didn't know if he would be able to bring himself to even drive to that hotel. He had no idea of how Mark would welcome him, he couldn't be sure that the American wouldn't stab him again as soon as they were face to face. He felt insecure and anguished. 

Jackson had contacted him that morning, he said they needed to talk. He was obviously afraid of what the American could tell the others now that he was back. The Chinese’s main concern was Jinyoung’s reaction once the writer found out about his connection with Ito Hara. Jackson had kept quiet about the conclusion of phase 2 all that time, and he was aware that once Mark opened his mouth, he would lose all his friends at once. Youngjae told him to stop by his house so they could have a chat, but when the doorbell rang and the publicist opened his front door, there was only a cute Maltese puppy with the name 'Coco' on the tag of its collar. The animal seemed to be alone, and the only thing that kept him from running away was the fact that his leash was tied to the door handle. 

The publicist couldn't help but take the puppy in his arms and bring him inside the house. He wondered if Jaebeom left it there as a gift. However, as soon as he crossed the living room he quickly dropped the puppy on the couch. There was an unexpected guest in there, waiting for him.

"Don't freak out. I mean you no harm. I jumped the backyard fence, I hope you don't mind." The thick American accent resonated through the publicist ears. He spoke in Korean, but the man was not Korean. Mark was right there, sitting on his living room couch.

"M-Mark? What are you doing here?" A shocked Youngjae asked, unable to move from his spot.

"You do know that Kim Yugyeom and I met last night, right? Your goddamn PI certainly saw him getting into the hotel with me. I know when I'm being watched, Jae." Mark shook his head in disapproval and continued. "Anyways, before Gyeom left my hotel room this morning he informed me about some upsetting facts. I've heard you don't go out much, and that you have some sort of emotional issue going on since the last time we saw each other."

"I-I'm fine." The publicist uttered quietly, as he watched the puppy play with his carpet. "Is that your dog?" He asked, wondering why he wasn't hyperventilating yet. The man who had stabbed him a year ago was right before him, and all the things he always wanted to tell him just wouldn't come out of his mouth.

"It's yours actually. I've heard dogs can ease PTSD symptoms. I'm sure Coco will provide you the emotional support you need."

"Why would you do that for me? Why aren't you even mad? After all I've done-"

"You were already punished for it. As a matter of fact, it seems you're still paying for it. You took all the blame for everything. I don't think that's fair." Mark huffed.

"What about what happened to you? Was it fair? No goddam private investigator was able to find you before you joined that hotel. Did that guy Daniel lock you inside a cage or something?" Youngjae took a step towards the couch timidly.

"Dan is dead. I killed him with the same kitchen knife I used to stab you. He had it coming." Mark revealed grimly.

"You're kidding, right?" The publicist eyed him with awe.

"I thought you believed all the stuff Jia Er told you about me. Most of it was true. You shouldn't be so surprised. There were others before him, you know. I'm a monster after all." Mark smirked at him. He felt strangely pleased to him the publicist again, but he didn’t know how the other felt about him being in his house. Did Youngjae still consider him a heartless beast? Did his old Korean ‘teacher’ resent him for the scar he gave him? He was willing to find out.

"I'm sorry." Youngjae whispered almost inaudible, as he held his head down. 

"I'm not." Mark gave him a bitter smile.

"Have you seen Jinyoung yet?" The publicist sat on the couch, but avoided getting too close to the older.

"I don't intend to." Mark said shortly. He was startled when Youngjae made an anguished sound and came closer to him. The Korean held his hand firmly and stared deep into his eyes. His lips trembled and Mark could almost feel the tension emanating from him when he started speaking.

"But you must! Listen to me, Mark, I screwed everything up for you two, and I regret that. I was a ridiculous fool. Only after that knife pierced my skin I realized the mistake I made. Now I need to make things right for you two. Just tell me what I can do to redeem myself and I will. There's no reason for you to stay away from him. I'm sure-"

"Why didn't you tell anyone about Jia Er's involvement in my disappearance? Did he threaten you?" Mark inquired, cocking his head to the side.

"No, but... I just couldn't." Youngjae looked away, unable to properly explain himself.

"Tell everyone about your partner, and then I promise you I'll pay Jin a visit." Mark declared, raising an eyebrow with him. An uncomfortable Youngjae let go of his hands quickly and kept quiet. The American watched him fidget on the couch for a while, so the older just dropped the subject. He didn’t want to be there anymore. "Well, I should take my leave. God forbid I run at your husband. He'll probably call the cops on me."

"He wouldn't." Youngjae mumbled.

"Yeah, right." Mark snickered as he stood up from the couch.

"Your Korean is good." The younger commented casually.

"No thanks to you." The American crossed his arm and sighed as he watched the guilty expression on the other's face. "Look, now you can tell your PI's to back off. You found me, you saw me, you talked to me, and we even held hands. I don't like being followed. Stop wasting your money on these guys. Or I'll have to get rid of them myself."

"You're not a monster, Mark. You’re not a trafficker, a sex worker or an outlaw anymore." Youngjae said carefully as he observed the older turn away from him and walk to the door. He remembered saying terrible words to the American the last time they saw each other, and right now, he felt compelled to take them back. "I'm sorry I failed to see that before. I'm sorry I failed at being your friend. I should've helped you back then. I regret being part of that revenge. The scar you gave me means nothing compared to the wounds you've been carrying all this time. You deserve to be happy too, like any other human being."

"It's too late." Mark said, without turning to look at the younger. "I’m dying, Jae."

The publicist was agape as he watched the older quietly exit the house.

It was 7 PM when Jinyoung showed up at the 5 star hotel with his business card in hand and Malik's name on his lips.

"Sorry, sir. He's already booked for the night. You can still make a reservation for next month." A very polite woman at the front desk informed him. Jinyoung sighed in frustration, but he wasn't about to leave that place without Mark.

"You don't understand. I came here yesterday, and I was told that I-"

"Hi, this is my card. Is Malik ready for me? I'm the one who booked him for the rest of the month." A familiar voice reached Jinyoung's ears. When he turned his head to the side, he couldn't believe his own eyes. Jackson was right there, and his card wasn't grey like his, it had a shiny golden colour all over it. While the woman checked the client's card, and verified something on her computer, the author addressed the other beside him.

"What are you doing here?" Jinyoung whispered to the Chinese, trying not to lose his cool. "Why the fuck-"

"Silence, Jin. I'm here to help. Don't ruin everything." Jackson whispered back to him, and smiled at the woman, who gave his card back.

"All done, sir. He's still busy with a client, but I've just confirmed here on my computer that you'll be in his room from 8PM to 8AM for a whole month. You're a bit early, but you can wait at the VIP salon till someone brings you to him. Will that be fine, sir?" she asked gently.

"Of course." He smiled even brighter. "I was told that the privileges of a gold VIP can be extended to two more acquaintances, am I right?"

"That's correct, sir. You can bring two more guests to Malik's room if you desire. He'll be happy to provide his services to your friends too." The woman explained kindly. She didn't sound like she was talking about an orgy. Jinyoung was appalled by the whole conversation.

"Very well, this gentleman here is a friend of mine, so he's coming with me." Jackson stated as he grabbed Jinyoung's arm. The woman smiled politely at him and gave him the directions of the VIP saloon.

As soon as Jinyoung found himself in a room full of famous people, drinking and chatting with beautiful women and men, he pulled the Chinese to a corner.

"What are you scheming this time?"

"Chill out! I don't plan on going upstairs myself. I did it for you! I booked him through the phone, because I fucking know he's quite popular."

"How do you even know that?! How did you get this card?" The writer gave him a suspicious look.

"Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not a customer here. I just know people, Jinyoung."

"Why would you help me? I don't understand. You hate him. You hate me with him."

"I hate to be hated by you." Jackson said, in a sad tone. "I don’t know how I can stop you from hating me, but I’m trying here...I just hope you can forgive me someday. God knows I have a lot to make up for."

"What do you mean?" Jinyoung asked, almost guessing what the other was talking about. He always suspected that phase 2 of his revenge had been concluded at some point.

"Not now, my friend. Maybe some other time. It's a Markjin night. Enjoy it." The older simply sighed, gave his card to him and walked away. Jinyoung's heart beat faster, as he watched the Chinese disappear through a corridor. He didn’t want to think about what he would do to Jackson once he met him again. He had a mission to accomplish. He looked at his watch and had an idea, one that could probably get him in trouble.

The card had the number of the floor and the room Mark was staying. It was still 7:30, but the writer couldn't wait any longer. He wasn't thinking straight when he got into the elevator, and reached the seventeenth floor. He wasn't thinking straight when he stopped in front of Mark's room and touched the door handle. He wasn't thinking straight when he realized the door was open and let himself in.

Moans and grunts reached his ears as soon as he walked into the room. He wasn't dreaming. Mark was right there on the bed, but there was a woman and a man with him. Naked, sweaty and panting bodies clouded his vision. Mark was lying on his side, between a pair. The American was penetrating the woman from behind, while the man did the same to him. The woman was the first to notice another presence in the room. She disentangled herself from Mark and ran to the bathroom in shame. Jinyoung could swear she was a famous singer. He didn't have time to confirm it when she locked the bathroom door.

When Jinyoung's eyes returned to the bed, an alarmed Mark was already pushing the man away from him and putting on a robe. The man didn't care about covering himself, he just looked upset by the fact that he didn't have a chance to finish inside Mark. He was still hard as a rock when the American pulled away from him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Mark's face was hot and flushed. Jinyoung couldn't tell if he was embarrassed, too aroused, or simply mad. His eyes were wide and shocked. His breathing accelerated.

"I came to join the party." Jinyoung said coldly, as he stared hard at the American, who quickly looked away and tightened the robe around his waist. He was still hard too, the author noticed that. He was relieved to observe that both of them were wearing condoms.

"Malik, why don't you introduce me to your cute friend? Since my wife ran to the bathroom, we have more room on the bed now." The naked man suggested with a grin on his lips. "The more the merrier."

"By all means, dear cute friend. Get on the bed" Mark said suddenly as he turned to the author. His words were filled with sarcasm. There was a challenging gleam in his eyes now. Jinyoung frowned at him. He wondered if that was a test. He was definitely impressed by Mark's Korean. He never thought he would hear the older using his language so well. The author pondered the situation for a minute and decided to let the American be responsible for whatever happened in that room.

The indifference in Mark's eyes wavered when the writer sat on the edge of the bed and let the sweaty man undo his belt. Mark stepped forward and furrowed his brows when Jinyoung simply allowed the man to take his length out of his boxers and take him into his mouth. Jinyoung didn't seem to care. A groan escaped from his mouth when he felt the man take him deeper into his throat. 

"Wow, You can actually perform reasonably well. Oh, no. Scratch that. You’re the most formidable cocksucker I’ve met in my entire life." Jinyoung chuckled viciously, as he glanced at a fuming Mark. Those were exactly the same lines the author told the American right after their first time. Those words awakened a raw rage inside the older. Mark couldn't stand the view before him any longer. He marched towards the bed and kicked the man's side. The man removed his mouth from Jinyoung abruptly and fell on the floor, shouting a bunch of protests. The woman came out of the bathroom and ran to her husband.

"What did you just do? I'm gonna fill a complaint against you at the front desk! You've just attacked a platinum customer!" She complained, as she helped her husband to get dressed.

"Well, he just touched another customer inappropriately! This man right here is a gold VIP!" Mark retorted as he pointed to a seemingly unaffected Jinyoung on the bed. "Your disgusting husband broke the fucking rules first. He will be banned from this fucking hotel forever! Now get the fuck out before I call security." Mark bellowed, as the couple hurriedly finished to get dressed and dashed out of there. The American made sure he locked the door this time. Jinyoung was still sitting on the edge of the bed, unzipped and exposed when he returned to the centre of the room.  


"Why the hell did you let that creep touch you?!" An enraged Mark demanded as he towered over him.

"Why did you?" The author asked nonchalantly, as he lifted his eyes to meet his. "Did you enjoy it? Would you even mind if I let him use me as a goddamn slut?!? At least you would know how it feels like to watch your boyfriend doing that kind of shit!" Jinyoung shot back, and before he could dodge Mark's hand moving in his direction, the sound of the slap he received filled the room. Even the American himself was surprised by his own action. His eyes travelled from his own hand to the shocked author who quickly stood up and gazed at him intently. Mark backed down and started to apologize.

"I'm sor-"

Before Mark could finish his sentence, Jinyoung's mouth was on his. The author's hand opened his robe and threw it on the floor. He quickly pulled Mark's naked body against him and deepened the kiss. His actions were so urgent that the older could barely follow every single passionate gesture he made. To have Jinyoung's arms wrapped around him again was a dream coming true. He couldn't deny him. If the writer's warmth left him again, he thought he could die. He was hungry for the younger as the younger was hungry for him. But when Jinyoung pressed him against the wall, lifted both his legs up, and positioned himself between them, the older gasped.

"Jin, wait." Mark broke the kiss and tried to close his legs when he felt the tip of Jinyoung's cock ghost his entrance. "I'm dirty, I need a shower."

"You could've had a thousand men inside you, Mark. I wouldn't fucking care. From now on, you'll only wear my smell on you. No shower." The Korean whispered against his ear, and tried to enter him again, but Mark didn't let him, so Jinyoung pressed, "Come on, you're all loose already, I saw that guy shove his cock inside you. Fortunately he wasn't hitting it raw."

"Please, just wear a condom." The American squirmed a little.

"I'm not a fucking customer, Mark." Jinyoung insisted, before he bit him on the shoulder. The older moaned loudly and chewed on his bottom lip. He was turned on so bad, but he couldn't let the other do it.

"I know, Nyoungie. But that guy was sucking on your dick. Who knows where that mouth of his has been?" He murmured, and the Korean finally relented.

"Where's this fucking condom then?" An impatient Jinyoung pulled away from him a little, and unwillingly let him down. The American disconnected himself from him and opened a drawer. The Korean had already removed the rest of his clothes when Mark found what he was looking for. Within a second, he returned to the younger with the lubricated condom in one hand. He quickly unrolled it all the way down to Jinyoung's erection, and gave its tip a small kiss. 

"We can use the bed. I can change the sheets if you-"

Mark was cut off by Jinyoung's tongue inside his mouth, and the thickness of the Korean's penis invading him abruptly. Sex against a wall was never boring. He felt like he would come at any moment. Jinyoung was never that rough, but the way he dominated him, pinned him against a corner of the room and slammed into him was extremely erotic. The feeling of not being able to escape his long-lost lover filled him with excitement. The younger had pulled one of his legs up, making Mark half-straddle him. Then he crouched down and pushed in and out of the older harder and faster. He grabbed Mark's butt and hoisted him up, but the older was still able to keep one foot on the ground. He eagerly met his thrusts, and moaned loudly every time the other managed to hit his prostate. Mark placed his palms flat against Jinyoung's cheeks, and gazed directly into his eyes. He held his face in adoration as he watched the Korean's lustful eyes all over him. He wouldn't last long, even though he could barely touch his own hard on. Only Jinyoung knew how to ignite that fire in him. His hand reached behind the younger's neck and pulled his face towards his for a kiss. When their lips parted for air, Jinyoung attacked his nipples and nibbled on them. Mark mewled as he pushed his nails into his back, and explored the younger's shoulder, biceps and chest muscles.

Soon both Mark's legs were off the ground. With his back still pressed against the wall, the American wrapped both his legs around Jinyoung's hips, spread his butt cheeks a bit more, and drove him deeper inside him. 

"Nyoungie, you're so hot. You make me feel so hot. I feel so hot inside. You heat me up to the core. I'm completely melting into you." The American whined, as he gently tugged at the roots of the author's hair. The sinful grunt which the Korean let out was so sexy that made Mark's toes curl.

"We're each other's most important piece. We thaw in each other's embrace. We fuse, and become one. We're both home, whenever we're together." Jinyoung whispered to him and kissed him again. Mark then started stroking his own erection at the same pace the younger ram into him.

"You say such orgasmic things. Ah! I wanna come! Are you almost there?" He panted against the other's lips, as pleasure blinded him.

"Come for me, babe. You're my home. My love, my life. Fuck, I missed this!" Jinyoung moaned as he ejaculated inside the condom, but still could feel Mark's walls eager to welcome him while clenching around his dick. Mark also came, filling the condom wrapped around his length with sperm. He pulled the Korean to him and kissed him with such affection and satisfaction that made the other sigh. Jinyoung spread kisses all over his face and slowly pulled out of his hole. He let Mark's feet touch the ground again, and they hugged each other tightly. 

"Thank you for this. Thank you for finding me." Mark said sweetly to him, and then Jinyoung loosened his hold on him just to gaze at his beloved.

"I would have come to find you even if you were at the bottom of the ocean." The author declared. Mark placed his face on his lover’s shoulder and hid his blush.

"If I were, you should just leave me there to drown.” Mark muttered, as he bathed in the comfort of his lover’s arms. He buried his fingers in the younger’s hair, and closed his eyes to fully lose himself in the familiar aura surrounding the Korean.

“Nonsense. I’d cross infinite oceans to reach you. I would swim through endless nights, I would battle shinning, rebelling silver waves, just to be with you.” The author whispered to him tenderly.

“You fool, you would end up drowning too.” Mark sighed, wondering how he managed to stay away from that man for so long.

“No, I wouldn’t, and neither would you. Together, we would ride through tempestuous waves, and save one another. No sea storm would be a match for our love, no sea monster would have enough power to compel us to let go of each other’s hands. No force of nature would tear us apart. For we are fated by the heavens, and nothing on this Earth can change that.” Jinyoung said absentmindedly, as if he was reciting lines on a page of an invisible book.

“You’re such a cheesy writer.” The American snorted, and removed his chin from his shoulder to stare at him.

“And you love it.” Jinyoung smirked playfully. The older loved that smirk of his, he wished he could take a picture of it. He wished he had an album of all Jinyoung’s gestures, expressions and body language.

“I might.” Mark lowered his eyes, and chewed on his bottom lip. But Jinyoung refused to let him look away from him. Their eyes hadn’t been in contact for too long, and he promised himself that he wouldn’t waste another minute looking at anywhere else, but his lover’s eyes.

“I have so many things to ask you.” The Korean declared, as he lifted Mark’s chin to stare at him.

“I know.” Mark blinked several times and carefully met his gaze. There was anticipation in it, so the older broke eye contact one more time. A long silence fell, and Mark decided to busy himself removing the used condoms of their dicks and throwing them in the nearest garbage. The Korean just watched him closely, knowing the older would deflect any interrogatory. “We should take a shower.” Mark suggested suddenly, and put on his robe. Jinyoung approached him again with kindness in his eyes.

“Don’t worry. I’m gonna wait till you’re ready to answer my questions. If you ever want to.” Jinyoung said in a sympathetic voice.

“Jinyoung-”

“I’m happy that you’re alive. You have no idea of how many times I prayed for that. That’s enough for me. But I do have a request.” The writer said, resting his hands on Mark’s shoulder.

“I can almost guess what it is.” Mark tensed a little and braced himself.

“Leave this place with me and come back home.” The Korean’s eyes shone with expectation.

“Jinyoung, things changed.” The American sighed in frustration.

“Of course they did. It’s been more than a year. But our feelings remain intact. You can’t deny that.” The writer stated, as he brought Mark’s face closer to his and kissed him sweetly. “I know you still want me, as much as I want you. Your lips still taste of love. Our hearts desire are in every kiss, in every touch, and every breath we share.”

“We can’t just pick up where we left of, there’s so much you don’t-”

“To hell with the things I don’t know. We’ve been through this before. No terrible secret or evil revelation will make me give up on you. You should’ve known that by now. Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll take back my request.” Jinyoung said abruptly. He really didn’t mean that. Mark didn’t have an option the moment the author laid eyes on him again. The younger wouldn’t walk away from his happiness. The writer would not leave that hotel without him.

“I…” Mark hesitated, took a deep breath, and then turned away from him.

“I love you, babe. Please, come back to me.” Jinyoung came from behind and back hugged the American. He felt the older tremble in his embrace. Mark pushed him away and faced him with a hopeless expression on his face.

“I’m sick, Jinyoung. I haven’t been on my meds for a whole fucking year. Do you understand what I’m saying? Certainly, I’m not undetectable anymore. I can transmit HIV to other people. I can get you sick. I might have AIDS!” The American said at once. The Korean swallowed and remained silent for a moment, trying to digest the information he had just heard. He felt tempted to criticize the older for neglecting his health, and for irresponsibly doing that kind of ‘job’, knowing that he could compromise other people’s health. Nevertheless, he still didn’t know why Mark was working as an escort, and he wasn’t sure if he had really ‘chosen’ to be in that line of work. Yugyeom had detailed to him how Mark had claimed that he had chosen to be a whore, but Jinyoung knew that there was something more to it.

“Don’t be so pessimistic. It take years for an HIV positive person to develop AIDS even if **no** medical intervention is made. You viral load might be high, the virus might be resistant to the medication you used to take, but there are other options of antiretroviral drugs to control the infection. We can get you tested and put you back on meds, stronger stuff. We’ll go to a doctor and you’ll stick to your medication regimen once more. You will be fine. It’s not the end of the world, for neither of us.” Jinyoung declared calmly. He couldn’t help feeling worried about Mark, but he needed to keep a positive mind if he ever wanted to convince the American to leave that place. Now more than ever he felt entitled to look after him.

“How do you know all that?” The American was obviously taken aback.

“I read, Mark. I have a whole shelf in my office for my own ‘HIV studies’. Since I’ve learned that my partner is HIV positive, I usually keep myself up to date with the topic.” The writer said proudly.

“You’re unbelievable.” Mark commented, running a nervous hand through his hair. He was definitely touched by the author’s affectionate ways, but he wouldn’t admit that now.

“That’s why you insisted on the condom?” Jinyoung pushed.

“I can bear the idea of infecting you with it.” Mark looked away in shame.

“You won’t.” The Korean slowly approached him again and cupped his face with both his hands. “But you will come home with me, won’t you?”

“Jin, I’m a whore.” Mark inhaled.

“You’re the man I love! Don’t you understand that?! You could be missing a leg, an eye, an arm, a foot, even your fucking head, but I still would love you the same! How can I prove that to you? I’ve just witnessed you in bed with two people, for heaven’s sake! I’ve just seen a man penetrating you while you fucked his wife! And this is not the first time I have the displeasure of watching such a thing. You were with another man while we were still in a relationship. You slept with Youngjae-”

“That was different! I thought you had cheated on me first!” Mark hissed.

“But I didn’t! And you know that now! You could’ve confronted me then, you could’ve told me what was wrong, but you kept quiet about it. We could’ve avoided that whole ordeal if you just opened up to me and we tried to mend our relationship!” Jinyoung was about to lose his patience with the older.

“Why should I? You didn’t tell me anything either. Even though you didn’t remember how it supposed happened, you were convinced that you had slept with JB, and you chose to be silent about it! I gave you so many opportunities! I even came up with that stupid role-play between Malik and Iyo, but you still acted like fucking coward!” Mark accused, shaking his head relentlessly.

“What did you expect me to do? Have you forgotten that my boyfriend had trust issues because of his earlier relationships?” Jinyoung retorted sarcastically. “You would spit on my face and compare me to Cameron Zhou if I mentioned to you that JB and I hooked up. Do you really think I’d give you a reason to leave me?! And because of what? A night that never happened!?”

“You should go, Jinyoung. Get dressed. This conversation is over.” An irritated Mark said shortly as he started to walk towards the bathroom, but Jinyoung grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back.

“You said yourself, I’m a fucking gold VIP. I’m not going anywhere. You’re all mine at least till 8AM, so do your job properly. You’re stuck with me for the whole night, Malik.” The Korean glared at him.

“Let go of my arm right now. I’m not gonna play this game with you, Park Jinyoung.” Mark said briskly and tried to remove his wrist from the other’s grip without much success.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you a proud whore? I’ve heard you like pleasuring people. I’ve had really stressful months since you left! A whole fucking year of torment. It will take more than a night for you to get rid of my stress, sweet Malik.” Jinyoung shouted at him, as he threw him on the bed. Mark was seething with anger right now. He moved to get up from the bed, but the Korean climbed on top of him and pinned his arms above his head. Mark tried to get free, but the younger kept him from moving. Jinyoung stared hard at his lover’s wrathful eyes. Mark had already stopped fighting him, but indignation was still etched in his cinnamon orbs.

“Get off me.” The older commanded.

“I thought you liked to play rough, Malik.” Jinyoung spoke very closer to his lips.

“Stop calling me that!” Mark protested, turning his head away to avoid his kiss.

“Why? Isn’t that your whore name?!” Jinyoung teased, as he started to grind against him.

“Well, I’m not your whore!” Mark exclaimed, trying not to get distracted by the feeling of Jinyoung’s naked body rubbing against his half-opened robe.

“Oh, really? Who are you then?” Jinyoung questioned, as he nibbled on his earlobe and slowly started to lick his exposed neck.

“The man you claim to love! Now stop acting like a fucking prick, because I’m not Malik when I am with you.” Mark turned to face him again, and Jinyoung’s expression softened.

“Who the heck are you then?” The Korean’s tortured voice turned into a whisper, as he closed his eyes and united their foreheads.

“Just Mark. The guy who fucking loves you too.” The American said finally, and the other promptly released his wrists. When Jinyoung opened his eyes again, his eye smile took over his features. And how Mark missed that! It completely melted his heart, and dissipated his anger. The older couldn’t help but smile too. He pulled Jinyoung to him for a proper full blown kiss and they started to make out on that bed. The same bed which Mark shared with many who called him Malik. But only that night, the American had the pleasure of sharing that bed with the man who called him by his real name while making love to him. That same man made him feel like a real person, made him want to be human, and made his heart beat faster like no one else ever did. That man was a prince, called Park Jinyoung. There was pain in both their souls, yet, they could still laugh through it, because they still had each other, and whenever they were together, every agony or burden became more bearable.


	50. I Mean It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"If this is a dream, I don't wanna wake up." The author sighed, as he beheld the vision before him. Mark was already up, showered, fully clothed and walking around the room. He could smell the fragrance of soap and cologne emanating from his lover. Every movement and sound the older made around him was magical. He would rather have the American by his side the moment he opened his eyes, but the mere fact of being able to lay his eyes on him first thing in the morning was a blessing. He considered that every single second he spent in his presence was a gift from heavens. It didn’t matter if they were fighting, or making love, if they were crying or laughing. As long as they were together, all was well with the world again. One year and seven months of silence couldn’t destroy the connection they had. The writer knew that Mark wasn’t good with words, he was also aware that he rarely expressed his feelings directly, but he was certain that his lover felt the same. The older still didn’t tell him what he was doing at that hotel, or what happened to him during the time they weren’t together, but Jinyoung wasn’t in a hurry to find out. For now, he just wanted to relish the idea of having Mark back in his life. Jinyoung hadn’t slept that peacefully in a while. He wasn’t haunted by terrible nightmares, nor tormented by insomnia. He didn’t need pills to go so sleep, and he didn’t need to drink loads of coffee to keep himself awake whenever the nightmares returned. Last night was real. He had found the man who completed him, his most valuable piece. What else could he ask for?

“Morning to you too. Now look, you’ve gotta get up. It’s almost 8. You should go.” Mark turned to him and walked towards the bed with an apologetic look on his face.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jinyoung rubbed his hands against his face and eyed him in disbelief. The older chewed on his bottom lip, and struggled not to look so guilty.

“Room service will be here in a couple of minutes. According to the rules of the hotel you cannot stay after-”

“Mark, I already told you I’m not a fucking customer! Stop treating me like one.” The Korean protested, as he sat up on the bed and squinted his eyes at his lover.

“This is my workplace, Jinyoung.” Mark said awkwardly, as he crossed his arms around his chest.

“Don’t give me that! You’re supposed to leave this place with me today! What about last night? I thought we had reached an understanding. You said you love me and we-”

“I never agreed to quit my job.” Mark declared cutting him off, and looked away.

“Your job?! This not a freaking job! Mark, I’m your boyfriend, and you’re my whole world! You never even properly broke up with me before you left, remember? We were still together even though we were apart. The hundred times I said I love you last night didn’t mean anything to you? Were you lying to me when you said it back?!” The writer’s troubled expression broke the older’s heart.

“Jinyoung, let’s not do this now.” Mark inhaled. He wasn’t prepared for an argument at that time in the morning. He didn’t wanna be harsh with the younger, but the Korean wasn’t’ giving him much of a choice. “Look, I didn’t lie to you last night, but you’ve gotta understand-”

“Well, every single time I say I love you, I mean it goddammit! Why can’t you at least show it to me that you mean it too? It pains me to see you in here, but you don’t seem to care. Do you think I’ll accept that job of yours while we’re in a relationship? Am I supposed to let you keep working in a place like this?! Have you forgotten that you need to look after your health!? Don’t you see how fucked up you’re acting right now?” A distraught Jinyoung stood up and approached him. He tried to reach for his hand, but before he had a chance to, the other snarled at him.

“There you go! I know you’d be like this once we saw each other again. You were never supposed to be here!” Mark exclaimed as he raked his fingers through his hair and exhaled. “Listen here, we are not fucking boyfriends! You don’t have to accept any shit from me! I’m not asking you to. We are not together for more than a goddamn year! Do you think that just because we spent a whole night fucking I’ll allow you to tell me what to do?! You’re not my fucking father, nor my mother, nor my goddamn keeper. You expect me to follow you around because you say you love me? I’m not into this romantic shit. This is not one of your novels, darling. This is real life, and in real life, whores and bestselling writers don’t live happily ever after. So do what I say. Get dressed and get the fuck out, Park Jinyoung!” Mark said sternly, as he picked up his clothes from the floor and threw at him. The younger was too shocked to move at first. The American’s eyes didn’t spare him any kindness. Mark saw him open his mouth, and then close it again. He was obviously hurt, yet Mark couldn’t tell if he had finally convinced him to leave.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to shower first.” Jinyoung didn’t look at him when he picked up his clothes, marched to the bathroom and locked himself up there. Mark cursed himself for being such an asshole, but he couldn’t leave that place with the younger now, and he knew that even if he explained to Jinyoung his motives, the stubborn author wouldn’t listen to him. He needed to get the Korean out of there before he himself felt tempted to abandon that hotel with him. Mark still had a mission to accomplish there.

Three knockings on the door distracted him from his thoughts. Mark knew exactly who it was, so he quickly went to open the door of his room.

“Your client hasn’t checked out yet. Is everything all right?” The man asked him, as he swiftly walked past Mark.

“He’s showering. He’ll be out soon.” Mark said quickly, as he observed the man’s conspicuous eyes examine the room.

“I heard that there was trouble last night with a platinum customer. Complaints were filled at the front desk. Do you mind telling me what happened?” The man said calmly shoving both his hands in his pocket.

“The guy wanted more fun that he could afford. You know, extras.” Mark lied. If he told him exactly what had taken place in that room, the author would probably be questioned as soon as he left the bathroom. He didn’t want to involve Jinyoung in that story, so he made up another one. The last thing he wanted was to get the writer in trouble.

“Such as?” The man raised an eyebrow at the American.

“Sex without condoms. He was not even a gold VIP, so I had to refuse his advances and kick his ass.”

“We have security in the building to take care of such matters, Malik. Whatever problem you have with clients, it must be immediately reported at the front desk. You’re fully aware of that. You keep breaking the rules. First, you let yourself be photographed beside a customer, afterwards, you brought here an idol without informing the hotel beforehand, now you just made us lose a platinum customer. Your behaviour has been quite erratic these days. Your ‘americanness” is showing. You ought to be more careful.” The man gave him a reproving look.

“Forgive me, Seungri-sshi. I’ll be more responsible from now on.” Mark swallowed, wishing that Jinyoung had left when he asked him to.

“You’d better.” The man came very close to Mark and stroked his hair. “I’ve also heard you’ve been asking around about _Hwang Hyunjin. Why is that, Malik?”_

“I was just curious, because I haven’t seen him among the others escorts after he was booked for a weekend by some politician.” The American tensed, but he didn’t feel intimidated. He was just worried about what Jinyoung would do if he entered the room at that moment.

“I don’t think that concerns you.” Seungri said, as he caressed his neck.

“You’re right. That’s none of my business. I-”

“But I can give you the information you’re looking for if you’re willing to give something back.” Seungri placed one of his hands on Mark’s cheek and traced the American’s lower lip with his thumb. “Maybe when your client exits your room, we can discuss our terms-”

“No need to. I really don’t care about that kid. I’m good.” Mark said, as he took a step back and brushed the man’s hand away. Seungri didn’t look happy with the rejection.

“ _Hyunjin_ ’s been in my room. I’m keeping a close eye on him. We have heard some rumours that some client of his had promised to take him out of here and give the kid the life he ever dreamed of. Can you believe such madness? Every single escort in this building has probably heard similar proposals, and they are never real, are they? I’m just looking out for the kid’s heart. We’re hiding him for a while. He’s young, and most of the time immaturity and promises of undying love get in the way of business.” Seungri smirked at the American and came closer to him again, but Mark didn’t back down this time.

“He’s free to leave if he wants to.” Mark stated. The man scoffed.

“Not all escorts in this hotel volunteered for the job like you did, Malik.” Seungri snickered and licked his lips, as he reached around Mark and squeezed his butt. “Not every whore enjoys being a whore.”

“Get your hands off him!” Jinyoung exclaimed as he came out of the bathroom, showered, angry, but fortunately clothed. Both Mark and Seungri turned to him. The American grimaced, he knew that confrontation wouldn’t end up well, so he tried to get him out as fast as he could.

“Sir, it’s about time you leave. You must take the elevator outside and check out-”

“If you tell me to leave this room one more time, Mark, I swear to God, I’ll drag you out of here by force!” Jinyoung yelled at him. “I love you and I can’t let you do this to yourself!” The author added, and suddenly a fit of laughter assaulted his ears. Seungri was amused by the scene before him. Mark pursed his lips.

“Malik, is ‘ _Mark_ ’ your real name? And who’s that? A long-lost boyfriend?” The man asked in a mocking tone.

“I don’t know any Mark. I’ve never heard this name before. He must be mistaking me for someone else.” Mark huffed. Jinyoung gave him a dirty look.

“Yes, he is Mark. By the way, he’s not a whore and he doesn’t belong to this place. I am his boyfriend, and he’s leaving with me.” The writer stated firmly. A wide-eyed Mark shook his head in vexation. Jinyoung was really on a mission to screw up his plans.

“Wow, you’re indeed a professional, Malik. Even your boyfriend has to pay to have sex with you?!” Seungri chuckled, as he rested one hand on the American’s shoulder.

“He’s drunk, and delirious. He’s probably high. Maybe we should ban him from coming here.” Mark said shortly, trying reallyhard to salvage that situation. However, he really didn’t know what to do now, so he kept trying to convince Seungri that Jinyoung was just a random customer who was prone to cross the line and make a scene. "It took only one night for this gentleman to think he owns me. Some customers do not know their place." Mark retorted, trying his best to remain indifferent to the look of confusion and irritation in Jinyoung's eyes. Seungri wasn't sure of what was really going on in that room, but he still believed the slogan that the customer was always right. He was used to deal with influential people, and he was aware that as soon as he started to treat them with flattery and politeness most conflicts were ended without much trouble. Therefore, he cleared his throat and talked softly.

"Sir, I really appreciate that you chose our services. I do expect that you had a satisfactory experience in our hotel. We'll be glad to have you as a loyal regular, however it's past 8AM and according to the hotel rules, all our VIPs must exit the escorts' rooms at this hour. I'm responsible for making the morning rounds. So allow me to kindly accompany you to the lobby." Seungri put on a cretin smile on his face and signaled Jinyoung to follow him to the door.

"I will not leave without him." Jinyoung stated sternly as he glared at Seungri and pointed to an uneasy Mark. "And if you, or any employee of this hotel try to kick me out, I'll go directly to the police. As far as I know prostitution in our country is illegal, and this establishment you have here will have to close its doors once the authorities are notified about the real nature of the services provided by it." The author ignored Seungri's frown and walked in Mark's direction. However, before he could reach for Mark's arm, the man blocked his path.

"May I have your name, sir?" Seungri asked in a serious tone, his whole body language changed. His fake smile wasn’t as courteous as before. That wasn’t a good sign. Mark knew that. 

"Park Jinyoung." The writer said fearlessly. "I'm not very active in the entertainment business, but if you had a bit of intellect in you, you would know who I am."

"The novelist." Seungri replied calmly, and nodded his head in acknowledgement. "I've seen dramas based on your books. Nevertheless, I confess that I never had the pleasure to read a work of yours. I've heard about the depression though. It's been on the news. Your fans would be sad, but not surprised in case you decided to end your career and your life at the same time."

"Jin-"

"Is that a threat?" Jinyoung cut Mark off and questioned the man in a challenging tone.

"You do understand I cannot let you leave this establishment after you've made such accusations regarding the prestigious services we provide here." Seungri expression darkened.

"Jinyoung, that's enough! Will you please go?!" Mark shouted, extremely disturbed by Seungri's words.

"Come. With. Me." The writer told him with determination in his eyes.

"I'm calling security." Seungri took his phone out of his suit, but Mark' hands stopped him.

"It's okay! There's no need to. I'll accompany him to the lobby. I'll get him out of here myself." The American said at last, and Seungri gave him a suspicious look. When Mark was about to walk past him, Seungri grabbed his arm. But as soon as he did, Jinyoung punched the man on the face.

Seungri became enraged and lunged at the writer. They rolled on the floor exchanging punches. The American placed both his hands over his head in desperation. He didn't have to be a genius to guess who would win that fight. He was aware that Seungri knew how to use his fists, and he knew the man wouldn't stop hitting Jinyoung until the author was completely lifeless on the floor. Seungri was bigger and stronger than the writer. He was already on top of him, and there was blood coming out of Jinyoung's nose and mouth. Mark gritted his teeth, and although he knew that Seungri was the son of the owner of the hotel, he did what he had to do. He broke the large vanity mirror next to the bed, grabbed a large shard of glass from the floor and stabbed Seungri's back multiple times with it. The man cried in pain and turned his attention to his attacker. Jinyoung was almost unconscious on the floor when he saw from the corner of his eye Seungri with both his hands around Mark's neck. The American tried to get him off him, but he was unable to make Seungri stop choking him.

"L-leave h-him a-lone." A dazed and bloodied Jinyoung yelped, as he crawled his way to the other two on the floor with difficulty. He watched Mark try to push the man off him, as he gasped for air and writhed in agony. Jinyoung was immediately reminded of his dream. Mark's body at the bottom of the sea, motionless. He didn't think twice. He picked up an abandoned shard of glass from the floor, threw himself at Seungri and thrust the objet in his throat, deeply puncturing the skin. Blood gushed from the wound as the man feel unconscious on top of Mark. Jinyoung grabbed the man by his expensive ruined suit and removed him from the American, who had already fainted at that point. Jinyoung panicked as he pressed his mouth against his lover’s and blew air into his lungs. He did a few chest compressions, and the other still didn't respond. The writer tried hard not to panic. He had just killed someone. He was sure the man wouldn't ever take another breath again. Mark didn't look good either, the Korean was no doctor, and he couldn't tell if whatever he was doing was right, or if it could help the older wake up. Jinyoung was already making plans on his mind. Dire ones. He figured that even if he called an ambulance, it wouldn’t get there fast enough to save Mark’s life. There were several shards of the mirror still on the floor, if Mark didn't wake up, he would make sure that he himself wouldn't live enough to grieve his passing. Yet, Jinyoung didn't want to give up so soon, so he tried to communicate with the American, or whatever god that could be listening to his prayers. He decided to give it one more try, and that was it.

"Baby, babe, please come back to me. Don't do this, to me, okay? I beg you. We just found each other...It's not fair...Oh, God no, please! Mark-ya, wake up!" The writer desperately tried CPR once more, and miraculously his lover responded. When the older opened his eyes and coughed up, Jinyoung felt an immense relief wash over him. His eyes watered as he held Mark in his arms tightly. He almost forgot that his lover needed air to breathe.

"J-Jin, let go." An agitated Mark begged between coughs. The author loosened his grip on him immediately and started deeply into his eyes.

"Sorry, babe. It's okay now. I'm here. Take it easy. Just breathe in, and breathe out. Oh, Mark, I love you so goddam much. Do not scare me like that again." Jinyoung whispered to him, as he kissed his hair, face, and beamed at his lover. The latter was soaked in Seungri's blood, but Jinyoung didn't mind about that. Mark was alive, and that simple fact made him rejoice. Then he observed how quiet the older was, and how his eyes filled with apprehension as he glanced at the corpse a few feet away from them.

"We're screwed." He whispered in a hoarse voice as he bit his bottom lip.

"We aren't. It was self-defense. He deserved it. He would have killed you if-"

"Did I ask to be fucking saved?! If you hadn't interfered in the first place and left when I asked you to, your face wouldn't be all bloody now, you stupid, stupid-"

"I don't regret it. You would've done the same for me." A guiltless Jinyoung tried to reason with him.

"You need to leave now, Jinyoung. I'll tell them I did it myself. Just run away as fast as you can and don't come back." The older shook his head is dismal. "Shit, I was so close! This wasn't supposed to end like this!" Mark, pushed the author away and stood up quickly, almost losing his balance. Jinyoung held him by the waist before he could fall on the floor.

"You're raving mad if you think I'm gonna walk out on you after what just happened here." Jinyoung protested as he carefully brought the American to sit on the bed.

"You don’t understand! I needed to find a kid...That's why I came here. I was infiltrated in this hotel to rescue someone who was sold to the owner. I was supposed to leave only after I found out his precise location. If Seungri lied to me, I might not get another chance to break Hyunjin out of here. Do you understand what I'm saying? Your stubbornness probably fucked up any chance I had to find him!" Mark exclaimed as he pulled the sheet of the bed and wiped the blood from his face.

"Mark you're not a cop or a goddamn superman. How did you intend to get this kid out of here? Who the hell put you up to this?!" A jittery Jinyoung insisted.

"If you don't go now we might both die here." The older ignored his question and warned him with vehemence.

"So be it." The writer said firmly and didn't move from his side. Mark shook his head in frustration, as he reached for his phone on the nightstand.

"You're gonna be the end of me." The American sighed, found a number on his contact list and held the phone to his ear.

"Who are you calling?" Jinyoung asked curiously, as he started to bite on his nails.

"Back up." The American replied with a defeated expression on his face. The writer was about to ask what he meant with that, but a knock on the door was heard. Both Mark and Jinyoung tensed.

"I've got this. Hide under the bed, I'll get the door!" The writer said urgently. He had no idea of what he was going to do, but he was determined to keep the older safe, even if it meant that he had to sacrifice his own skin. Mark quickly sent a text to someone and dropped his phone on the bed.

"Are you for real? How many times do I have to tell you that this is not one of your books, Jin!? They will find us and kill us as soon as they see what happened to him! Look at the state of the room. Look at all this blood! They're not stupid! If our back up arrives too late, we're done for." Mark gave him a helpless look, and Jinyoung swallowed. They stood silent for a long second. The knocking had stopped.

"Jin? Yi-en?" A small voice came from outside the door. The wide-eyed Korean recognized that Chinese accent. He didn't even think twice before he marched to the door and opened it. As soon as he saw Jackson, standing there dressed as a butler, he pulled the man inside the room and locked the door again. The Chinese was horrified by the sight before him as he walked further into the room. He saw the dead man on the floor with shards of mirror around him. There was also the dreadful image of the American drenched in blood sitting on the bed. Jinyoung also looked like he had been working in a slaughterhouse.

"What the fuck just happened here?!"

"I killed him." Mark said at once, not very pleased to see Jackson.

"No, you didn't. I did." Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at him. He could understand that his lover was trying to keep him out of trouble, but he wouldn't ever let Mark take the blame for what took place in that room.

"Stop trying to protect me! Jia Er is not stupid. There's only one murderer in this room, and that person is me." Mark hissed, and turned to the shocked Chinese. "By the way, glad you stopped by, little Zhou. Get your friend out of here and leave me be."

"I am not going anywhere." Jinyoung stated for the hundredth time. He didn't even pay attention to the way Mark regarded Jackson. "Why are you dressed like that?" The puzzled writer asked the Chinese.

"I'm trying to mingle in this goddamn place. I assure you this not a cosplay." Jackson replied impatiently.

"I don't know why you are here, Jia Er, and I don't really care. But I'd really appreciate if you both walked away now." Mark's tone was cold and far from friendly.

"I contacted my brother. I know what this is about." Jackson said in Mandarin as he eyed Mark with a guilty expression on his face. The American frowned at him.

"I thought you two weren't talking. I heard that you usually avoid being around people who reminds you of who you really are." An acerbic Mark replied in the same language. Jackson turned unusually quiet. Jinyoung glared at them.

"No, no, no, no. You two don't start with this fucking Mandarin talk! The three of us will find a way to get out of here alive only if we communicate as a team, not as a pair! There's a dead man in this room who needs to disappear." Jinyoung stated exasperated. "Seunnah, get your underworld employees here." The author demanded, but the Chinese looked away.

"I don't work with those people anymore." A distressed Jackson said in Korean as he looked away in shame. Mark snickered.

"Of course you don't. You're probably doing all you can to forget your own origins." The American spat, also shifting to Korean.

"What are you two talking about?!" An irritated Jinyoung crossed his arms and waited for an answer.

"The 'underworld employees' you mentioned are not his. They are his brother's." Mark explained simply.

"What?! Jackson's brother?!" Jinyoung turned to the Chinese with a puzzled look in his eyes. Jackson was about to say something when the door of the room was opened ajar. The trio jumped, and rapidly turned their attention to the sudden intrusion. They were on tenterhooks, expecting the worst, but the worst never came. Jinyoung wasn't sure if the people who burst into the room was the backup Mark had mentioned, or if they were about to be murdered in cold blood. However, he quickly noticed how Mark seemed relieved for some reason. The Chinese was the one who didn't look very happy with the arrival of the strange guests.

"Jack onissan! It's been a while." Daisuke said and bowed to the Chinese, who didn't even spare a glance at him. There were five other men who entered the room with Daisuke. They stood behind him as if they waited for his orders. Mark bowed to the young man and the latter did the same. A speechless Jinyoung watched the scene completely baffled. Daisuke spoke to his men in Japanese and they quickly started to remove Seungri's body from the floor and dragged it to the bathroom. Jackson eyed the scene with distraught.

"Excuse me, I'm Park Jinyoung. Are you the one who cleans up after Jack? I didn't catch your name." Jinyoung said sarcastically, as he turned to the man and extended a hand to him. He was going to have a fit if nobody explained to him what was going on.

"Oh, I apologize. We weren't introduced. That's why you do not know my name. I am Daisuke Hara. Wang Kaye-yee's brother. However, he doesn't like to acknowledge that fact. Glad to make your acquaintance, Mr. Park." The young man bowed politely.

"Hara?" Jinyoung gulped and his eyes travelled from Jackson to Mark. The American just nodded to him. The Korean was appalled.

"Can we go? Is it safe out there? Can you handle everything here?" Jackson asked uncomfortably, without looking at his brother.

"Naturally." Daisuke replied calmly, and then he turned to Mark. "Have you located Hyunjin?"

"He's at Seungri's room. At least that's what the fucker said before he died." Mark replied uneasily. The American never got used to being around him. Daisuke always made him feel a bit fidgety, maybe because he looked too much like the Collector.

"We must retrieve him immediately and exit the building. Show me where his room is located." Daisuke said.

"You can go and get this kid without Mark. Can't you?" Jinyoung looked worried, as he walked to the bed and took his lover's hand in his. Daisuke slightly smiled at that.

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid he must see this mission through the end." Daisuke informed the overly concerned Korean. 

"I killed Seungri. If you have to punish someone, punish me." A frightened Jinyoung pleaded.

"That won't be necessary. No one is being punished. But Mark-san's presence is required. The boy might not trust an unfamiliar face. Our American friend will convince him to leave here quietly." Daisuke explained, and eyed the Korean with a rare kindness in his expression. "I have no intention of keeping him for too long. Mark-san will be free to go wherever he wants once we rescue Hyunjin. I give you my word. He'll be sent home as soon as we're finished here. "

"Home? You mean America? You're sending him-"

"Jin, I'll see you at the apartment later, okay? Just listen to me for now. I know you're confused and you have a lot of questions on your mind. I promise you they'll all be answered. I'll come home to you soon. Trust me and wait for me there." Mark told him tenderly and ruffled his hair. "You need a shower and some rest. You look awful."

"Look who's talking." Jinyoung smiled at him a bit, but didn't let go of his hand. He just stared deep into his eyes and time seemed to have stopped for both of them. “I love you.” He uttered and sighed at the same time.

"I love you too. I mean it, I always did. Now, please go." Mark begged. Jinyoung still didn't move. Jackson got impatient, so he pulled the Korean away from Mark, and clocked him. The author immediately fell unconscious in his arms. An annoyed Mark was about to protest, but Jackson explained himself quickly.

"He wouldn’t leave unless I did this. I'll take him home." Jackson assured the American, and after taking a deep breath, he added. "Make sure you come back to him when you're done here. I mean it. If you don’t, I’ll come after you myself." 

A speechless Mark stared in awe as Jackson carried the unconscious Korean out of the room, with two of Hara's employees beside him.

"Mark-san, I'm ready when you are." Daisuke's voice brought him back to reality. The American nodded to him. Now more than ever Mark was motivated to find Hyunjin and finally go home, where his lovely prince waited for him.

********

Jinyoung woke up in his couch. He would've believed that everything that happened was a dream if he wasn't still wearing his bloodied clothes. He could barely open his eyes after the punches he received from Seungri. He could feel the swollen skin around his orbs impair his sight. Yet, he was able to recognize his apartment. He scanned the place around him with his right eye, which was not as bruised as his left.

Jackson was there beside him. Bambam and Yugyeom were sitting on the carpet. Jaebeom and Youngjae were sitting on an armchair across from him. The chair wasn't big enough for both of them, but they managed to share that small space. Jaebeom had a protective arm around Youngjae, and the publicist seemed to be relatively comfortable with that. That cozy sight would bother Jinyoung a few weeks ago. Since the day Mark disappeared, he thought it was unfair to see them achieve any sort of happiness together. He didn't think that Youngjae should be forgiven for what he did. But now he felt okay to see them so close like that. He knew well how terribly agonizing it felt not to be able to be near a loved one. He felt bad for giving the editor a hard time before. He wasn't so enraged to see his best friend slowly rebuild a connection with the publicist now that Mark was back. He almost felt glad for them. He almost felt complete with the six of them there, but someone essential was missing. His heart ached. He couldn't see Mark in the room.

"Where's he?! Where's Mark?!" Jinyoung sat up suddenly, and everybody in the room, who had not realized he had awakened, surrounded him at once. Except for an anxious Youngjae, who remained sitting on the armchair across from the couch.

"Jesus Christ, are you okay? I told Seunnah we should take you to a doctor, but he said you would be fine. Do you feel any pain? Should I call an ambulance? Answer me Jinyoung-ah!" A nervous Jaebeom asked, as he studied his friend’s injured features.

"Shut the fuck up, will you? I'm fine. I just have a goddam headache. Now tell me where he is." The author demanded, eyeing his friends face with anticipation. 

"He's not back yet." Yugyeom said quickly, with a worried expression on his face.

"Don’t worry. Just be patient, he'll be here soon. MT is an unbeatable warrior. My best friend will get out of any tricky situation. I know that." Bambam said with confidence.

"He made you a promise, didn’t he? He'll come back to you. He always does. No one can stop him from doing so." Jackson stated, beside him. The others eyed the Chinese weirdly. Jinyoung had almost forgotten that he was there too. Anger suddenly overtook him.

"If he doesn't, you'll have to answer to me. Now tell me, since when do you have a sibling called Daisuke Hara? Was he responsible for my boyfriend's disappearance? Did he help you with the phase 2 of your disgraceful revenge?!" Jinyoung inquired briskly, as he glared at the remorseful foreigner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there fellow readers!^^  
> How are you all doing? I hope u guys are okay.  
> Missing our boys already? Each Got7 member seems to be doing great lately!  
> Have u guys seen Mark's new YouTube channel?!:) What did u think of his first video?XD  
> Can't believe Got7 will be at APAN Music Awards 2020!! Yay! Who else is anxious to see them together again?!:D  
> Sorry, I'm rambling. Just happy with the performance news.
> 
> Take care of yourselves yorubun! Do not forget to wear ur masks! Stay home if u can. Hope the vaccine arrives in your countries soon. 2021 has got to be better than 2020. Hang in there! Luv u all.  
> Hwaiting Ahgases!<3


	51. Find You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” – Confucius

A guilt-ridden Jackson told his five friends about the details of phase 2 of his revenge. No one was surprised to hear that he had involved Youngjae in his plans to catch Mark off guard and alienate him from Jinyoung. The Chinese came clean about all his secrets. He didn’t feel like keeping them in the dark anymore. He even described how he found out he had a brother a couple of years ago, how he found out he was adopted, and how he used Daisuke Hara to make Mark disappear. He explained to his friends how was hard for him to accept that his biological mother was once one of the Collector's Dolls and how he felt accursed for having the blood of Ito Hara in his veins. The same blood that once ran in Cameron Zhou's vein, and still ran in Daisuke's. Jaebeom, Youngjae, Yugyeom, Bambam and Jinyoung were appalled by such revelation, but they didn't dare to interrupt the Chinese, they just listened to him attentively.

Jackson also told them how he desperately avoided Daisuke after his brother took Mark away. He explained how the fact that Mark was Soo Young's lover, and at the same time one of the men who worked for his despicable father made him furious. He claimed that he hated Mark for the demise of his fiancée, and also for what he did to other innocent people in the past. He was convinced the American had destroyed several lives while he worked for the Collector, and that Mark did to many human beings what was done to his biological mother once.

"Do you still think that?" Bambam asked abruptly. He knew Hara had sons, and that the Collector kept them away for safety reasons, but he had no idea that Jackson was one of them. The fact that Mark would crossed paths with not only one, but two of Hara’s offspring in South Korea was an staggering coincidence.

"Partially. But now I am convinced that Yi-en was neither responsible for what happened to my mom nor for what happened to Soo Young. I know that now." Jackson sighed in frustration as he met Jinyoung's judging stare.

"What made you change your mind?" A quiet Youngjae asked from the armchair a few feet away from him.

"A couple of things. But mainly, I came to realize that he's no longer the man he was once forced to be." Jackson replied, giving the publicist a sympathetic look.

"That's quite smart of you. You managed to figure this out at last. You did take your time." The writer said sarcastically. "Now tell me what your fucking brother have been doing to my boyfriend for more than a year." He demanded impatiently.

"Actually, I never asked where Daisuke took him. I thought Yi-en was done for. I imagined that my so-called Japanese brother wanted to avenge our father. I really didn't care. Back then, I was just relieved to know that both of them were gone. I was not interested in being a big brother to Daisuke. I just wanted to live my life the way I used to, without shameful connections in my family tree. I ignored Daisuke for more than a year. However, when Yi-en reappeared beside a famous actress on the news two days ago, I had to find out what was going on. Unwillingly, I forced myself to call my brother yesterday, and he told me that he kinda recruited Yi-en to do some good in this world. The truth is, the man I once considered my worst enemy has been working with a Hara again. But this time he's cooperating with Daisuke's anti-human trafficking organization. I don't know the details, but I'm sure Yi-en will fill you in once he comes back."

"So that's why he was at that hotel. He was on a rescuing mission." A pensive Jaebeom concluded.

"Mark is always playing the anti-hero using a villain's mask." Bambam shook his head in realization.

"That's some really dangerous stuff. But I can totally imagine him doing such a thing, you know, fighting bad guys and saving people. He saved me once. The first time I met him, I was at 777 Ways and a drunk jumped on. Mark hyung got rid of the guy and he took care of me. I always had the impression that this American hyung was more badass than he was letting on." Yugyeom mused. "Wow, he's my favorite super hero now."

"He's not a goddamn superhero. Don't you guys see how fucked up this is? Daisuke guit-trip him into this job, and made him carelessly risk his life-"

"He wouldn't have done it if he didn't want to." Bambam cut Jinyoung off, before the author started to speculate.

"Whatever." Jinyoung spat and stood up abruptly. "Jackson, get the hell out of my apartment. Go find Mark, do what you have to do. Since you look so remorseful, I'm sure you'll find a way to redeem yourself. You'd better! Because if Mark doesn't show up in 24 hours, I'm gonna fucking go to the police, and not only you, but you're goddam brother and his altruistic organization will be in trouble."

"You killed a man, Jin. Are you going to tell that to the police too?" Jackson inquired calmly. The others remained silent. They already knew what had happened at the hotel, but they didn't get to discuss it further, since the author was passed out on the couch.

"It was self-defense!" A vexed Jinyoung exclaimed, as he crossed his arms. He still couldn’t bear the injustice of it all. Ito Hara was already a gruesome chapter in Mark’s life, and thankfully, that hideous man was dead. Now his boyfriend didn’t need Hara’s progeny to cause more problems for him. He wished Mark could be free from everything that would remind him of his grotesque past, but unfortunately, Jackson and Daisuke weren’t going anywhere.

"The police might buy it. But Seungri's father might not accept this kind of excuse." Jackson stated, as he raised his eyebrow at the younger and continued. "What happens when the owner of the hotel starts looking for his son and finds out he was murdered in cold blood by one of his escorts and a fucking crazy customer?"

"Is that a threat?" An irked Jaebeom frowned at the Chinese. The editor was already low-key mad at Jackson now that he had the confirmation that the Chinese manipulated his husband into join that ludicrous revenge, he didn’t need one more reason to call him out for his cunning tendencies.

"Of course it isn't. Seunnah is just trying to keep Jinyoung from making a big mistake." Youngjae commented from the armchair, before Jackson could answer the editor. 

"I'm not surprised you have his back. You shouldn’t even be here." Jinyoung sneered at the publicist. Youngjae simply looked away from him.

"Jin, don't take it out on him, okay?" Jaebeom warned the writer in a serious tone.

"You stop defending him! Before he was your cheating husband, you were my goddam best friend, so like act like one." Jinyoung roared. His voice echoed in the room this time. Youngjae put both his hands on his ears, lowered his head, and cowered in the armchair. Jaebeom gave the author a dirty look and sat beside his husband protectively. Everyone in the room eyed Youngjae with pity. Jinyoung inhaled, and raked a hand through his hair, as if debating how to apologize. He didn't really mean what he said, but his worry for Mark was making him hostile. All those revelations made his heart ache.

"And I thought I was the only asshole in the room." Jackson clicked his tongue. Then the writer saw red. He marched in his direction, but his cousin stopped him before he could get near the Chinese.

"Get a hold of yourself, Park Jinyoung." Yugyeom yelled at him, and then exhaled. "Guys, let's not fight between ourselves. We should be united now, supporting each other, more than ever. We all want Mark hyung to be all right, and he will be. We just need to be patient." Yugyeom said carefully.

"We don’t have any other choice but be patient. I hate to agree with Jackson right now, but he's right. No fucking police. A man was murdered, so we should be careful from now on. Let's just wait for Mark to come back, okay?" Bambam suggested. He wished he could find a way to help the American, but his hands were tied. He had never heard of Daisuke Hara’s organization, and he feared causing trouble to his best friend once he tried to interfere in the older’s mission. He didn’t even know how to.

"You know what?! All of you should go. I'm fucking tired of this conversation. I'm gonna take my fucking sleeping pills and sleep for the whole damn week!” Jinyoung shook his head in despair, but Jackson stood up and went to him.

“Wait! I’d like to have a word with you in private. Maybe we should go to your office. There’s something you need to hear. Just you. It’s about Soo Young.” Jackson stood in front of him with a pleading look on his face.

“I’m not going anywhere with you. If you wanna say something, you can say it in front of all of them.” Jinyoung spat. An uneasy Jackson swallowed and nodded.

“Right…Look, it’s a recording. It might sound a bit disturbing, since it’s about your sister. My brother sent to me a while ago. The testimonial you’re about to hear is from a man who used to work for the Doll Collector.” Jackson uneasily took his phone from his pocket and played an audio file. Jinyoung didn’t move from the spot he was, and the others just watched the two of them attentively, while the voice coming from the Chinese’s phone filled their ears.

_"…Ito Hara was man who took the legends of his country quite seriously. No, it was worse than that, his belief in old Japanese folklore had a disturbing trait. He was convinced that ancient rituals, especially those involving human sacrifices, could work even in this time and age. Although they sounded too archaic for modern ears, the Collector was the kind of man who valued the past and translated its sick traditions in the present. He worked through metaphors. Every single move he made was permeated by his ludicrous creeds. It wasn't different when he had to deal with a problem. He did many fucked up shit with people and he had always been obsessed with dolls. He enjoyed turning humans into things. One of the most sick 'transformation' he did was with a foreigner student who was dating one of his employees. The guy was a Doll Hunter called Mark Tuan. When Mark's relationship with a certain Korean student reached his ears, the Collector decided to turn her into something else. I even remember her name. Park Soo Young. That woman became a Teruterubozu._

  
  


_Have you heard of this ghost-like doll? There are several legends in Japan about its origins, but one of the most well-known tales is of a monk who promised he could bring clear skies to a village through some sort of incantation. He was supposed to make the sun shine again in a place plagued by constant rain. Legend has it that the monk chanted nonstop in front of a feudal lord, but was beheaded as a punishment for failing to bring fine weather to the village. Here comes the plot twist though. According to some versions of this legend, once the monk’s head was chopped off, wrapped in a cloth, and hung next to the feudal lord's chambers, the sun finally came out. The weather was glorious at last._

_Hara considered Park a hindrance to Mark's performance as his underling. He found out that they still kept seeing each other even after he made the woman watch Mark being tortured in a certain occasion. She wanted to go to the police. That was a bad sign. She could bring 'tempestuous weather' to his business. Then Hara concluded that before rain started to pour, a sacrifice should be made to preserve his 'clear skies'._ _Park Soo Young was the Collector's real life version of the chilling Japanese tale. His employees arranged everything in order to make it look like a suicide. After all, she was a foreigner and just kidnapping or murdering her could bring unwanted attention to the organization once the police started to investigate her death. Therefore, she should be sacrificed quietly and methodically. They shaved her head, dressed her in that white gown, put that crimson rope around her neck, and left her hanging in that classroom. Hara probably wished he could cut off her head and hang it at the Case, but he was aware that people would eventually start looking for it._

_Park didn't commit suicide. She was killed in a way that no one would suspect it wasn't her own choice. She was forced to write a suicide note and blame Mark for her actions. She refused at first, but then they said that Mark would be killed if she didn’t. Park finally did what they demanded, just to die in agony minutes later. She was just one of the many Japanese old legends that Hara reinvented in America. But I guess his 'ritual' didn't work as it was supposed to. The 'sacrifice' was made but only bad weather came his way. After this Korean student died,_ _Mark wanted to run away from the Neighborhood, even though he wasn't aware of what had really happened. Obviously, he was stopped before he could leave. Mark was sent to the 'training camp for deserters' after he stole money from the Case. His days as a Doll Hunter were over, since he became a doll himself. Hara thought that making him inhuman would keep him obedient._

_Mark was Hara's famous China Doll, but at the same time his greatest enemy. It didn't take long for the Collector's Case to be destroyed. The Collector knew that the Case would certainly 'break' Mark, but what the Collector didn't know was that even a broken Mark was a revengeful motherfucker. He seduced worshippers and induced them to help him. He secretly made alliances with Hara's rivals, minor gangs, and people the Collector had pissed off. I'm not sure about the 777 stabs wounds he gave Hara, but it was because of him that the Collector's Case went to hell. I was lucky to get out of there alive. I saved the Programmer because he helped to get my girlfriend out of the Case once. After years working for Hara, the Programmer also started working against him at some point. Since he was one of the Collector's closest associates, no one suspected him. A lot of people had his reasons to hate him because of his supposed 'loyalty' to the Collector, especially Mark. But the truth is, whoever had the displeasure of working with Ito Hara once, would gladly betray him at the end of the day. I’m glad the fucker is dead.”_

**__ **

The audio file stopped. Jackson had a disconsolate look plastered on his face. Silence screamed in the room. Jinyoung blinked a few times, turned around, and walked away from him. The others observed solemnly as the writer climbed the stairs to his bedroom without saying a word. A concerned Yugyeom was the one who spoke first.

“Should I go and stay with him or-”

“Leave him be for now. I’ll stay. Just take Jae home, I’ll spend the night here. I’ll look after Jin and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.” A distraught Jaebeom said quickly. The maknae nodded. Youngjae got off the couch and gave his husband a timid hug.

“I’m sorry about all this. Keep a close eye on him. He needs his best friend.” The publicist said to him and Jaebeom simply gave him a tiny sad smile.

“Bam, are you coming with us?” Yugyeom asked his boyfriend, who shook his head and sighed.

“No. I’ve gotta go to the bar. I need to keep my mind busy. You go and stay with Jae, I’m not in the mood to play babysitter right now.” The clearly annoyed Thai said to the maknae, and glanced at Jackson. “We might not call the police. But if something happens to Mark, I’ll fucking kill you. Mark my words.”

Bambam left the apartment after uttering those intimidating lines. Yugyeom thought about going after him. However, he knew that his boyfriend wasn’t going to let him comfort him in any way. Sometimes, the Thai just needed his space, and Yugyeom had already learned to respect that. Therefore, he simply walked out of the apartment with Youngjae after saying his goodbyes to his hyungs.

Only Jackson and Jaebeom remained in the living room.

“Aren’t you gonna give a sermon? Since I came up with this revenge idea, you were the one who insisted that going after her ‘killer’ was meaningless.” The Chinese commented, as his eyes watered.

“Why should I give you a sermon? It wouldn’t make any difference right now. You wasted so much energy hunting a ghost. I guess you already feel miserable enough knowing that the man you hated all this time, was the one who got rid of Soo Young’s murderer. Oh, let’s not forget the big twist of this twisted story. I’m sure it pains you even more to know that her killer was your own father.” Jaebeom looked at him reprovingly. The Chinese grimaced and nodded bitterly.

“I hated Mark for the wrong reasons. I betrayed Jin and ruined his career. I fucked up Jae’s head and messed up your marriage. I made you lose any respect you ever had for me. Gyeom barely looked me in the eye when he left. His boyfriend wanna kill me, and Soo Young is still dead. This revenge of mine was inflicted on myself.” Jackson concluded somberly.

“Go home, Seunnah. Go to Bo Young. You shouldn’t be alone right now either. You need a friend, and I can’t be that for you now.” Jaebeom told him, and walked out of the living room in order to check up on Jinyoung.

Jackson exited Jinyoung’s apartment, looked at his watch, and decided to call Daisuke one more time.

Jaebeom found the author on the floor of his bedroom holding Soo Young’s suicide note in his hand. He wasn’t crying, but he was awfully quiet, just sitting there staring at nothing.

“What do you want?” Jinyoung asked without looking at him. He knew Jaebeom wouldn’t leave him alone so easily, even if he asked him to.

“Nothing. I just came to tell you that they all left. It’s only us. How are you doing?” The editor asked carefully as he sat beside his friend.

“I’m not going to swallow all my goddamn sleeping pills in order to kill myself, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I know you won’t. You’re waiting for someone.”

“He might never come-”

“Don’t say that.”

“I want to be alone.”

“Okay. But I’m not leaving the apartment. I’ll be downstairs if you wanna talk, but if you don’t, I’m gonna check up on you from time to time. Do not lock the door, or I’ll bring it down.” The editor said, standing up.

“I’m sorry I yelled at Jae.”

“I know you didn’t mean to. Everything will be all right, Jin. I promise you.” Jaebeom assured him as he patted his friend’s shoulder and walked to the door.

“You’re a good friend Beom-ah.” Jinyoung gave him a thankful look.

“Of course I am. The best.” The editor grinned and added. “You’re an okay friend too, at least when you’re not so stinky. You really need a shower, man. Please consider taking one, for the sake of our friendship.” Jaebeom made a face and scrunched his nose playfully. The author chuckled, and his friend beamed. 

“Since our friendship is at stake, I will.” Jinyoung gave him the thumbs up, and Jaebeom finally left him alone in his room.

_**Hours later...** _

A couple of knockings on Jinyoung's bedroom door woke him up. He figured it was JB, so he just ignored them and tried to go back to sleep. He promised his friend that he wouldn’t lock his door, so he didn’t know why the other even bothered to knock. He figured that if the editor had news about Mark, he would have entered the room already.

Jinyoung couldn’t go back to sleep though. He rolled on the bed, not satisfied to be alone underneath those sheets. Mark's clothes were still there, laying beside him, next to his pillow. That was Jinyoung’s nightly ritual since the American disappeared a year ago. Before going to bed, Jinyoung would search his wardrobe for some of Mark's clothes, and place them next to him on the bed. He missed that man like crazy, but having his clothes there so close to him as he went to sleep soothed his heart a bit. However, this time, besides Mark's clothes, there was a letter on the bed. He frowned at the white envelope and opened it. The text was in Korean and very badly written, but what really caught his attention was the name of the sender. He gasped, and tried not to have a heart attack right there.


	52. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall.” ― Jodi Picoult

**FROM** : The Bartender Mark Tuan

**TO:** The Bestselling author Park Jinyoung A.K.A my Korean prince

_Annyong, my love!_

_Are you awake yet?_

_Have you dreamt of me?:)_

_I'm writing you this letter because I ought to answer your questions. The ones you've been dying to hear since our reunion in that hotel room. The ones I'm too ashamed to answer directly to your face. This piece of paper shall clarify all your doubts. It might make you sad, and content at the same time. It might seal our future together, or apart from each other. Whatever it was unsaid before, it's described here. All of it._

_You're a writer for a living, so I'll assume you have read many books. I'm not sure if you read Clavell though. There's a passage in one of his books that say:_

_"A man has a false heart in his mouth for the world to see, another in his breast to show to his special friends and his family, and the real one, the true one, the secret one, which is never known to anyone except to himself alone, hidden only God knows where."_

_"I pondered these lines a lot. I wondered what this saying really meant and I interpreted it my own way. I thought about it most of the time I spent away from you. I asked myself if the past me would even contemplate the idea of having a single heart. Throughout years of my life, I considered myself many things, a cold machine, an insensitive doll, a merciless monster...None of these could have a heart, let alone 3. Only after you walked into my life I realized that I still had a pulsing organ pumping blood throughout my body. But if I really have 3 hearts, I believe you have already seen at least 1% of each. I carelessly let you get close to my first heart when you approached me with your biased opinions of who I was. I lied to your face, only showing you a fake version of me that you already expected to see. I recklessly let you reach my second heart when I accepted to leave America with you, when we became more than just enemies, and fell in love with each other. Even though I didn't trust you with all my demons, I let you have a glimpse of my third heart too, and you momentarily had a peek through the darkest spots of my core. It didn't scare you, and it didn't make you turn away. I was impressed. You have already seen most of me, all my three hearts, even though the third one I'm supposed to hide it from the world._

_After I left, I wondered which heart I would present to you whenever I saw you again. I wondered if you would be satisfied with any of them, the shallow one, the warm one, or the dark one. I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter which one I showed you first, because you would always see through them. Sometimes, I dwell on the fact that you've learned more about me than I did myself. Since the day I met, you made me realize some things about my adrift existence. I do have feelings. I am able to love and receive love. It's difficult to let that happen, but I can do it. I love you now, I loved you before I left, and I don't think I'm capable of stop loving you in the future._

_One year and seven months away from you proved that I am not an insensate being anymore. Believe me, I really wanted to come back to you, but I had old scores to settle. I confronted my past while I was away, I reconnected with people whom I prayed I would never see again. I came to terms with my forgotten sins, and tried to find some sort of redemption too._

_I know you’re anxious to know where I was and what I've been doing all this time I've been away from you. Where should I start? One important fact that you must know is that the Collector's son, Daisuke Hara, the Japanese man you met at the hotel, is not like his loathsome father. He also has an 'organization', but it is different from Ito's. He tries to rescue victims of human trafficking. I must say that most of the time his 'methods' are much better than the police's, and not always conventional. He uses the inheritance his father left him to do some good in this world. I was surprised to hear his real intentions. He believes that his good deeds might erase the sins of the Doll Collector. I've been helping him, using my 'old skills'. But this time I aimed to locate people who were exploited and trafficked. Hyunjin was one of those people. He was my last 'assignment'. The hotel's security was quite strict, and since we had to make sure that the kid we were looking for was there, we needed to get someone inside that building. That someone was me. It wasn't Daisuke's idea to turn me into an escort, it was mine. He reminded me of what escorts did in that place, and I told him I didn't care. I convinced him I could do it. Then he said that if I did that, he wouldn't ask anything of me anymore. I guess he knew that the guilt I felt for being a Doll Hunter in the past was leading me to do whatever was necessary for this particular mission. Deep down, I felt that if I rescued Hyunjin, I would be rescuing myself._

_Actually, I'm getting ahead of myself. You must be curious about what happened to me the day I disappeared, right? Well, let me clarify things for you. I was angry at Jae, but too astonished at the same time. I would have never imagined that my sweet Korean teacher was in cahoots with your Chinese friend. When he told me that he and Jia Er were partners, I felt like killing him. Yet, I didn't. I hurt him, but I purposely avoided causing damage to his internal organs. I left a message for Bam there, and only him could interpret it._

_I wasn't okay when I left Youngjae's apartment to meet the likes of Daniel Stravos. I couldn't believe that Jackson had that kind of connection, nor that Dan was working for Hara's son. I had the shock of my life when I learned that Daisuke was Jia Er's brother, and that he was helping him with his revenge. The moment I left Team Wang in the company of Dan and Daisuke I could barely elaborate my escape plan. But I walked alongside them knowing that I would be completely screwed if I refused to dirty my hands with blood again. I thought if I didn't, I would be dragged to a terrible place, even worse than the Case. I promised you that Cam would be the last, but I felt that I had no other choice. I knew Daniel was dying to tie me up somewhere and torture me until I passed out. And I knew that I would have to kill him to keep that from happening. I couldn't let him use me as a Doll after you had made me human again. I still had with me the kitchen knife I used to stab Youngjae. I kept it hidden in the waistband of my jeans. Daisuke wasn't surprised when I stabbed Daniel in the car. He wasn't fond of that scumbag either. Actually, he was hoping I got rid of one of his father's most hated underlings at some point. I was not aware of such a thing at that time. I was going to kill him too, but then he explained to me that he needed to be alive for the sake of his father's soul and the people mistreated by him while he was alive._

_I didn't buy his story at first. I laughed at his face. Then I let him drive me to one of his 'Headquarters'. He had employees, but also volunteers there. People who had lost people, who had found people, and helped finding others. I heard many stories with happy endings, but many others with saddening conclusions. I knew then what Daisuke wanted of me. He asked me if I wanted a chance to redeem myself, and I told him no. Then he asked me if I had ever saved someone in my life. I thought of Bam, but I didn't want to sound arrogant. So I said no. Then he reminded me that I had blown up the Case, setting a lot of people free. Then I told him that I just wanted to save myself. At last, he asked me if I would like to help a human being to become human again. That question rendered me speechless. I immediately thought of you, and how your love instilled life in me. I was reminded of the importance of being and feel alive, and how I robbed several people of that feeling in the past. I couldn't say no to him. At some point, I myself became a volunteer. It was rewarding to be undoing what I used to do in the past. I felt like I had a chance to rebuild myself, to reinvent my story. And perhaps, be worthy of your love. I didn't get in contact with you, because I knew that if I did, I would selfishly abandon the idea of 'humanizing humans' and run right back to you. I need you to understand that I had to stay away for this reason._

_Phase 2 of Jia Er's revenge wasn't what I expected, and I believe that even your Chinese friend wasn't aware of his brother's intention either. Jackson thought that Ito Hara's son would eliminate me in a way of another because of what I did with his Dad. However, he didn't even try to find out what were his brother's plans for me. He simply made his own assumptions, and afterwards pretended to forget that his little brother existed. I asked Daisuke about his relationship with his brother, but he only told me that Jia Er asked him to stay away and never contact him again. He said he respected his brother's decision and didn't force a connection with him._

_But let me tell you more about my own journey. You do remember the first time I told you about the Collector's Case, right? You do remember that time I dazedly barged into your hotel room in LA and narrated that terrible tale, don't you? Remember the Doll Collector's associates? The Repairer who stitched impaired dolls, and the Programmer who brainwashed them? I thought they were all gone the day the Case caught fire. But one of them survived, the Programmer, whose name I found out was Kaoru. He had messed with my head big time during my China Doll's days. Honestly, stabbing Jae was not complicated. Getting rid of Stravos was a piece of cake. Learning about Daisuke Hara's existence was not so bad. But what was really difficult to do was having to face the Programmer again. He was older, and sick. Most of his body had burn scars, he had lost one eye, and cancer was eating him alive. I didn't pity him, but I didn't feel like killing him either. I thought that the best punishment for that man was to leave him writhing in pain for the rest of his miserable life._

_He told me he was also working for Daisuke. He was aware of other several establishments around the world similar to the Case, and provided Daisuke lots of valuable information regarding several human trafficking rings across Asia. He knew a lot of people from the Collector's time, he was a hardworking volunteer. Can you believe that? Kaoru, AKA, The Programmer, trying to be good? Well, miracles do happen. I've witnessed how he sought absolution during the last months of his life. Before he died, he claimed that he wanted to 'free' me. He said he would give back what he took from me. He said he could recover some of my repressed memories. I didn't know if it was a good idea to remember what I didn't want to. But I still let him put me in a trance._

_The things I hid in the back of my mind, the things I let Kaoru retrieve from somewhere in my subconscious, were devastating. It was like I was back at the Collector's Case. For me, a training camp for deserters. Do you really wanna know about it? That's the part of the letter, I will never dare to discuss with you face to face._

_Flashbacks of my days at the Case are quite repulsive and debasing. When I first got there I remembered my eyes being pried open, while they made me watch all kinds of sexual acts performed in that place on those women and man. I thought they wanted me to see what really happened to the people I brought there. Most of them were completely dollified. I was taught to imitate them, to learn from them and just not think of myself as a human anymore. Worshippers wouldn't consider me like one after all. That was a terrible reality. Letting go of my humanity wasn't so difficult. Once I accepted I wasn't human anymore, I didn't have to think that it was really awful what they were doing to me. Being a doll meant that I would feel nothing, I wouldn't suffer, I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't be scared, I wouldn’t hurt...Then I would no longer be alive._

_I gave in, I let them fill me with emptiness, till I became the Collector's prized doll. I kinda felt proud for my ranking. You know, the worshippers used to rank the most enjoyable dolls at the Case weekly. I was always at the top 10. I did my best to remain there. Not because I feared that I would be discarded like the other Dolls, but because Hara said he would go after Bambam, my little brother, and my sisters if I fell behind. He said that he would find them and they would have to work twice as harder to fill in for me. The possibility haunted me, and somehow I felt like I deserved feeling that way, because I had taken people to him, and those people certainly didn't deserve being there. They could've loved ones somewhere, looking for them, and maybe they weren't so bad for buying drugs that they couldn't pay for, or borrowing money they wouldn't be able to give back later... I could not bear the thought of letting someone I cared replace me in that hell. I strayed so far from the person I once were, that I forgot who I used to be, and I didn't feel like my parents' child anymore. I had an owner who built a new reality for me, and I unlearned everything I had learned throughout my privileged suburban life at my parents' house. I was a commodity, I was an object of trade. I lost the count of how many times...Can you imagine what it is to have 50, 60 animals, who call themselves humans, inside you in less than a week? Can you imagine the kind of shame and humiliation, the excruciating pain of being dehumanized? It was so much more bearable to accept that I was not myself, that I was a machine with a function, and that whatever was done to me it could be fixed!_

_There's so much evil in this world, Jin. There's plenty of it, and I've seen it, touched it, heard it, tasted it, and breathed it. I had so many encounters with evil that each time I came close to it, evil and I didn't even have to shake hands anymore. I would simply accommodate it, let evil be evil without any judgment, and just open myself to it. With time evil had become an abstract concept, a regular element of my soulless routine, I became its vessel, and whenever it possessed me, I could pretend I had turned into it. I was it. And the satisfying comfort, the sublime relief I felt in that state of metamorphosis, of transcendence, in which I could be something other than myself, without a conscience or a body of my own, made me embrace evil. Drugs, hypnosis, alcohol...they helped me through it. The Programmer made all the processes strangely soothing and tremendously addictive. I craved for evil, and I was eager to become one with it. Evil couldn't harm me anymore, I was part of it, sewn into it, encapsulated in its mantle of wickedness. I was a just conduit, I was not a living being, I was as inorganic as a Doll._

_You'll never hear me speak of these memories, so I just wrote them down for you. After a couple of hypnosis sessions with the Programmer at Daisuke's Headquarter, I thought that what I had remembered was enough. Kaoru passed away 2 months later. I was not myself for a while, but I moved on. I always do, I have to, in a way or another. If I don't, I die. So I focused on my 'humanizing missions' and never looked back._

_The kind of welcome that I received at the 5 star hotel you found me was much better than the Collector's Case. Escorts were not belittled there. They just had to follow rules, and I tried my best to abide to them. I knew how to behave and please whoever needed to be pleased, so they were courteous and protective of me. Customers who were out of line were banned from the place. The staff of the hotel would never beat me or leave scars, after all, the place was frequented by influential people. Celebrities wouldn't fuck escorts who looked like whores, but they would still pay for sex, if it was provided by a presentable individual. I spent months there just trying to locate Hyunjin, but Seungri, the son of the owner of the hotel, rarely let him be around the other escorts because he was a minor. I had to stop my antiretroviral medication since I couldn't let anyone in the hotel know that I have HIV. I always wore condoms, even though some clients were not happy with it. The truth is, I had neglected my treatment even before I went to the hotel. Like I said, meeting Kaoru and battling my past was an utterly disconcerting process. The memories he had shown me, made me hate myself, to the point of not caring whether I lived or not. I had also found out that Bambam used to work for Hara, so I realized that I had never saved anyone. I was blind with guilt. I didn't dare to even think about you. I didn't think I deserved to be around a prince. I was in a bad place, but Daisuke gave me a purpose. The jobs he offered me could only be done by a former Doll Hunter, or a Doll itself. I knew the drill. I knew evil. I just had to pretend to be who I used to be. Pretending to be a bad guy was easier than being a whore though._

_I thought I had everything under control until I got my first customer at the hotel. It was a woman, and then I remembered that the last time I slept with one, it was with Soo Young. Only then I realized that maybe I wasn't that courageous as I made Daisuke believe that I was. I knew I would be cheating on you. I knew I would risk losing myself again. Going back to being a China Doll, or whatever the hell they called me at the Case. But I couldn't turn away from that mission. So I did what I had to do. Everything just became more mechanical after I had more celebrities in my bed. I would never kiss them on the mouth though. They could have all of Malik, but I promised myself that at least my lips, were still Mark's, therefore they were still yours. Yeah, before all that happened, I slept with Jae, I kissed him, but I was still Mark then, the deceived Mark who thought you were a cheating boyfriend, as shitty as Cam. And I regret that. I truly do. My lips can still be yours though, if you want them. I can still be completely yours, if you'll have me. This broken, imperfect me._

_Hyunjin is safe now. My mission is done. I feel accomplished, and ready to be with you again. I feel like a cheater, but you said you would still want me even if I were missing an eye, a leg, and even my head, so I'm still holding onto your words._

_I'm sorry for hurting Jae, but I'll never say that to his face. Maybe because I'm not truly sorry. Making me believe that you cheated on me was a real low blow. My third heart shall never truly forgive him. I might try and become his friend someday if he's willing to accept that. I saw him the other day and gave him a dog. He doesn't look okay, and to be honest, my third heart can't help but feel an ominous pleasure to see him in that state. Can you blame it? I'm no angel, you've always known that. However, because I have a second heart, and I know you still see him as dongsaeng, I might even try to find a way to help him with his emotional issues, show him how to build forts to seal his fears. Kaoru showed me some tricks. Can you believe the fucker was a therapist before he became friends with Ito Hara? I hope he's having a good time in hell with the Collector._

_I have all my memories intact now. The bad ones and the good ones. My days at the Case, and my days at your apartment was a change from hell to heaven. The time in between was purgatory. I love you with all my three hearts. If you can forgive me for neglecting the room you made for me in your life, I'm willing to take my rightful place back, and never, ever leave your side again. I'm not a China Doll, I'm not a Doll Hunter, nor Daisuke's volunteer, or Malik anymore. From now on, I just wanna be the bartender Mark Tuan who loves the writer Park Jinyoung. I like that pairing, and I can't wait to write their book with you. Can we be the authors of our own pages? Will you join me in this plot? Will you let me lean on your shoulder and be part of our unforgettable love story?_

_If your answer is no, I will sadly understand. However, if your answer is yes, come and find me, where we can watch the Seoul sky together._

Jinyoung felt his heart beat faster. He got up from his bed, ran out his bedroom and climbed down the stairs like a madman. Anticipation ate at him. He eyed the glass door of his balcony and slowly walked in its direction. He stopped in front of it. He partially saw what was beyond that door, yet he could already see the blue sky before him. No movement outside, apart from the white clouds staring back at him. He slowly opened the door and sighed. The sun hit him with such a brightness that he needed to blink several times before his vision adjusted to it. He had neglected that small space for more than a year. It didn't feel right to be there without Mark. It was on that balcony, underneath the Seoul sky, where he asked Mark to make room for him in his heart.

" _Wherever I am, there will always be room for you_. Remember when you told me that? Do you still mean it?" A familiar voice said behind him. Jinyoung felt his eyes water even before he turned around. He took a deep breath and gripped tightly the railing of the balcony. He wasn't afraid of turning around. He was afraid that perhaps he was just having a dream.

"Is this even real?" Jinyoung muttered more to himself than to the man now beside him. The writer felt his intense presence there, but quickly looked down, and closed his eyes, refusing to let himself be deceived by some sort of hallucination.

"I'm here, Nyoungie." Mark whispered tenderly, as he gently touched the Korean's chin, lifting it up, and turning his head in his direction. A speechless Jinyoung swiftly opened his eyes, blinked tears and shook his head in denial. He was too overwhelmed by the moment. He wondered if it was really okay to trust the sight before him. He feared being too optimistic. He feared believing that his lover was there now, just to later realize that he wasn't. Waves of shock assaulted his body when Mark leaned forward and captured his lips softly. The younger didn't even dare to close his eyes, he waited for that vision to undo itself before him. The American slowly released his lips, and cocked his head to the side in order to study the Korean better. He stroked Jinyoung's cheekbone and chewed on his bottom lip. He wondered if he would be rejected. "What's wrong?"

"How can I be sure? This happened so many times before. Whenever I had an acid trip you would be there, just to vanish before my eyes minutes later." The writer swallowed, as the older kindly wiped the tears that stained his face. Jinyoung wondered what kind of sick God would do that to him. Plague him with beautiful visions and then take them away.

"You don't need acid to see me anymore. I'm really here, Nyoungie." Mark frowned as he heard the word 'acid' coming from the writer's mouth. He wondered when, where and how the Korean used LSD.

A sobbing Jinyoung gasped when he heard the sweet nickname slip away from his lips. The American united their foreheads and placed his hands on the writer’s hips, as if to prove him that he was really there on that balcony. Jinyoung sighed deeply when he felt the older's breath against his face. He couldn't stand being deceived any longer, so he wiped away his tears and roughly grabbed Mark by the arm. He hurriedly dragged the American all the way to the front door. The older was convinced that the writer was about to kick him out of the apartment, but when Jinyoung opened the door and marched to Yugyeom and Bambam's apartment without letting go of his arm, Mark didn't know what else to think. He was about to say something to the Korean when a very sleepy Yugyeom stared at them in awe.

"Tell me! Have I gone completely insane? Do you see what I am seeing? You do, don't you? It's really him, right? It's-"

Before the author could finish his uncertain sentence his cousin jumped on Mark and hugged him tightly.

"Oh, my God! Hyung! I can't believe that you're finally here! Wow, it's so amazing to have you back! I'm so glad you're okay. Please, come on in. Bam will have a seizure when he finds out you're here. He went out for groceries, but he'll be here soon. Are you hungry? You should eat something." Yugyeom said as he grabbed the foreigner's hand and started to lead him to his entry room. Jinyoung was agape as his mind tried to process a reality that his heart have yearned for so long. Mark had finally come home.


	53. Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Turn the lights on, the lights turned on. The moment you came to me, the lights were dying inside of me. But you’ve put warmth in my heart. You’ve filled it up. Now we’re breathing the same breath. It’s getting blurry the line between you and me..."  
>  \- Breath ~ by Got7

Jinyoung didn't let Yugyeom take much of Mark's time. As soon as he recovered from the shock of having the American back, he told his cousin that he needed some time alone with his boyfriend. He dragged Mark out of the maknae's apartment and brought him to his car without telling the older where they were going.

Mark didn't complain. Jinyoung's silence excited him. He was actually expecting a surprise. Last time Jinyoung put him in his car and didn't tell him where they were going, the writer presented him his new working place and they christened the establishment on the counter of the bar. Mark recalled that unforgettable moment. They made love like there was no tomorrow. It was the first time Jinyoung called him boyfriend, the first time Mark admitted that he wanted to start over with him in Seoul, and from that moment on, they started dating officially.

To Mark's dismal, the place Jinyoung took him wasn't even a little bit romantic. He was obviously disappointed in him, but he understood what they were doing there. The writer could have his cheesy moments, his exacerbated episodes of passion, but deep down he was a practical man. The writer held his hand the whole time, and kept giving him reassuring looks the moment they entered the clinic. Mark didn't dare to complain when they took their blood or when both of them had to to spend agonizing minutes in the waiting room to get their test results.

He was aware that Jinyoung was looking after him like he promised he would since he found out he was HIV positive. He didn't mean to worry him when he revealed to the writer he had interrupted his treatment. But the Korean had a right to know, if they were ever going to get back together like before. Mark wasn't expecting good news. He could almost predict what they were about to hear.

When they were called back in the doctor's room, Mark took a deep breath and braced himself. Fortunately his boyfriend's results were negative, but the Korean didn't even seem relieved to know that he himself would be okay. Jinyoung was too absorbed in what the doctor before them was saying as she started to discuss Mark's condition. According to the results of his exams, his CD4 cell count had dropped, meaning that his immune system was at risk of other infections. His viral load was higher, detectable, which meant he could transmit the virus to other people. The American needed to go back on treatment immediately, and also take antibiotics to prevent health complications. Once he restarted ART, his CD4 count should gradually increase, and his immune system should recover considerably. She told Jinyoung that since Mark was his partner he should initiate PreP again, and the use condoms whenever they had sex was a necessity at the moment. She also highly advised the couple to get tested every three to six months. 

The doctor adjusted Mark's antiretroviral therapy regimen to make it more effective and gave them the drug prescriptions they both needed to keep each other safe and healthy. After they left the clinic, bought their meds, and got back to their apartment, Jinyoung finally became more vocal.

"We'll be alright, you know. Now I can finally say that for sure. I'm sorry for not telling you where I was taking you. It had to be done soon, for both our sakes." The Korean said, as he placed his car keys on the coffee table and gave Mark an apologetic look. The older nodded and walked to him.

"I know. It just sucks to know that we'll have to wear condoms for a while." Mark commented and gave him a hug.

"Jesus Christ, is that what you're worried about? I'm just hoping your immune system gets stronger and your viral load decreases. I need you to be healthy. I can't let you get sick." Jinyoung held him tightly and kissed his hair. The indescribable feeling of having his lover in his embrace again, made him crave Mark's irreplaceable presence for all eternity.

"Please, quit worrying so much. I'll survive. I always do. I'm here with you, aren't I?"The American loosened his hold on him and grinned.

"Thank you for coming back to me." Jinyoung whispered, before he kissed both his cheeks and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Thank you for not giving up on me. You have no idea how much I dreamt of this moment. I missed being back in here with you. You make me happy. I love you so much." Mark whispered as he chewed on his bottom lip and caressed the younger's face. Jinyoung's heart fluttered. Was Mark that straightforward about his feelings before? Certainly not, but he wasn't going to complain about it.

"Look at you, mister 'I'm-not-into-this-romantic-shit. You're gonna make me blush." A playful Jinyoung beamed at him. His heartstopping eye-smile mesmerized the older.

"Shut up. You're not gonna say it back?" Mark asked abruptly, trying to hide his flushed cheeks as he buried his face on the younger's shoulder. The latter chuckled.

"I love you too, babe." Jinyoung lifted up his face tenderly just to meet those cinnamon orbs again. "I'll say it back as much as you like it, till my lungs give out, till my tongue stiffens. I love you Mark Tuan, with all my three hearts." 

Mark sighed contently, and placed one hand on the nape of his neck just to bring their lips together one more time. The kiss was hungrier, deeper and more intense than the previous one. The magnetism of their mouths and tongues connected their minds and souls. Jinyoung wrapped his arms around his waist and put all his emotions in that kiss. An innocent make out session became more than just an eagerness to possess each other's breath. Mark pulled his body impossibly closer to his and without disentangling himself from the author he led him to the couch. Mark sat on his lap, then straddled him, and grinded against him. 

The Korean gave him a lustful smile and quickly slipped a hand under his shirt and played with his nipples. The erotic sound which escaped from the older's throat made Jinyoung groan in pleasure. Mark gripped his lover's hair and crashed their mouths together one more time. Every touch they exchanged breathed new life into them, every moan of desire made them tune into each other, deeper, louder, completely. Their lungs vibrated at the same frequency, and their hearts throbbed as one. 

Jinyoung squeezed his butt and ravished his lips as he also rubbed his clothed arousal against Mark, who was already rocking on his lap nonstop. The American opened the zipper of Jinyoung's jeans and slipped one hand under his underwear. He knew how hard his boyfriend was and how much he wanted him. He had already felt the younger's erection through his clothes even before they started humping each other on that couch.

"Fuck, we should stop, but I don't want to. Do you?" Mark released his lover's lips for a second and panted. Jinyoung simply shook his head and assaulted his neck with tantalizing bites. The American closed his eyes and tried not to scream out loud when Jinyoung's teeth grazed his skin and his lips sucked on it. But when he felt the Korean's finger sneak further into the crack of his butt, he stopped it from going lower.

"We bought condoms. Don't worry, I'll be fine. We're fine. We don't have to stop." Jinyoung unattached his mouth from Mark's neck and shoulder and gave him a reassuring look. The American glanced at the bag that they brought from the drugstore, and then stared at his lover for a long second. They had had sex at the hotel the previous night, but although Mark knew it could put Jinyoung at risk at the time, he still didn't have test results to prove that. Now that he had heard from a doctor's mouth the reality of their situation, he hesitated. What if the condom broke? What if he got his boyfriend sick? How could he ever forgive himself for condemning his prince to a life irrigated by meds for the rest of his days? For Jinyoung to be properly protected, the writer would have to take PrEP for at least a week of daily dosing before being exposed to the virus. If the condom broke, Mark could easily infect him now.

"Let's try something else. Do you remember having outercourse as a teenager? It could be fun." Mark suggested as he took his hands out of the Korean's pants and zipped him up. The younger sighed, but before he could utter a single complaint, Mark captured his lips again and pulled Jinyoung to climb on top of him as he laid on his back. Within a second, Jinyoung adjusted himself between his legs and they started to desperately press and rub against each other. Mark mewled as Jinyoung simulated vigorous penetration thrusts against his clothed inner thigh. The older never thought that having sex in pants with his lover could be so sexy and naughty. Obviously it wasn't as intimate as having a skin to skin contact, but still, it didn't take long for him to come in his underwear.

Jinyoung stopped his lust-filled movements against him seconds later, and succumbed on top of him, totally satisfied. When Mark suggested frottage, it sounded too silly to his ears, too adolescent, and so not like what they were used to, but all those thoughts left his mind when he felt the aroused American writhe under him in pleasure. He would have never imagined that even with clothes on, Mark could give him one of the biggest orgasms of his life.

As they laid silently on the couch trying to regain their breaths, with only the music sang by their hearts lulling their afterglow, they felt their souls come together once again. As they cuddled, their limbs entwined as a perfect harmonious symbiotic union of bliss, as if a spiritual force pushed them to let go of themselves to turn into a unique, single being. They were part of each other's senses now, they could freely communicate whatever sentiment that was not verbally expressed between them before, no spoken words could translate the warmth and plenitude which irradiated from both of them at that moment. They were no longer each other's missing pieces, the blanks were filled, the voids were replenished, an absolute level of oneness was reached, and their longing had finally come to an end. They slept like that, nestled in each other's embrace, complete.

A few minutes later, they were awakened by unannounced guests. Before they could disentangle from each other, the door of their apartment was opened and two anxious pair of eyes laid on them.

The editor gasped when he saw the twosome on the couch. It was the first time he saw Mark after that dreary episode at Youngjae's old apartment a year ago. The American and he had words after JB witnessed Youngjae having sex with him. Things almost got physical. Jaebeom couldn't forget how he told Mark that he was the worst thing that had ever happened to Jin's life. Mark also stabbed his husband later on the occasion. Back then, JB hadn't read The Inhuman Life of a Former China Doll, and he didn't know what the American had gone through in his past. He didn't know the details of the last phase of Jackson's revenge. He couldn't resent Mark now as he resented him then. For a moment Jaebeom didn't know what to say or how to react, so he just started to scold his best friend. 

"Jinyoung-ah! Where the fuck have you been? Do you have any idea of how worried I was? I was sleeping at your guest room, checking up on you from time to time, and then suddenly you fucking disappear on my watch?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? If it wasn't for Yugyeom I would still be look for you now-"

Jaebeom would have kept complaining if Mark hadn't opened his eyes and given him a hard stare. The editor gulped. Jinyoung didn't even move from his spot on top of the older. He didn't bother to remove his legs and arms from the American. He simply chuckled as he watched JB coil under his lover's gaze.

"Take a chill pill, Lim Jaebeom. Can't my boyfriend and I have some peace and quiet?" Mark demanded, but then his expression softened, as he glanced at the speechless Thai beside the editor. "Hi, Bam." The older smiled, and waved at him. His best friend tried to hold back his tears.

"You're not mad at me anymore?" Bambam asked expectantly, struggling not to sound too nervous and insecure.

"I can never stay mad at you. I never was." Mark said, and Bambam let his tears run free. "Nyoungie, let me up, I need to give my friend a hug. He looks like he needs it." The American whispered to his boyfriend as he tapped on the arms encircling his form. The author grunted in dissatisfaction, but let go of him. Mark then got up and walked to Bambam. The latter laughed and cried at the same time as he observed his friend approach him with his arms wide open. Bambam jumped on the American and hugged him tightly.

Jaebeom's eyes travelled from the pair of friends to the unbothered writer sitting up on the couch. Jinyoung looked peaceful, there was an undisturbed gleam in his eyes which wasn't there for a long time. When their gazes met, the writer smiled at him, and Jaebeom couldn't help but smile back. He didn't have to be a genius to know why the author had such a reposeful expression plastered on his face. At that moment Jaebeom realized that Mark was the best thing that had happened to his best friend after a year and 7 months of tribulation. When Bambam finally let Mark go and wiped his tears, the American raised an eyebrow at the editor.

"Oh my God, are you guys having a moment there? Lim Jaebeom, do you dare to hit on my boyfriend right before my eyes?" The older said playfully, as he gave the editor a slight push. Jaebeom smirked, and pulled the American to him. Mark gasped when his arms surrounded him, but relaxed when the editor's pleading voice reached his ears only.

"Thank you for making him happy. Don't you ever leave him again." Jaebeom whispered against his ear as he eyed a frowning Jinyoung on the couch. He quickly let go of Mark when he felt the American nod against his shoulder.

"Geez, who is hitting on who now?" Jinyoung asked lazyly, as he eyed JB squeeze Mark's hand before letting him go back to the couch.

"Yeah, as if!" Jaebeom shook his head at him.

"What do you guys say about drinks tonight? Mark you've gotta see Spinning Top, man. You're back after one year and seven months. I think it's a good opportunity for us to celebrate in your own bar, my friend. Please say yes." An excited Bambam suggested.

"Our bar." Mark grinned after correcting him.

"Nah! Mark's on antibiotics. No alcohol for him." Jinyoung stated, as his arms found his lover's waist again. The older scoffed.

"Why is he on antibiotics?" JB furrowed his brows, as he glanced at the writer. Bambam could guess what was that about, and he made a mind note to ask his friend about that later.

"Precaution, I might come down with something." Mark said quickly and added. "But I can still go and not drink."

"Babe, we could just stay in and cuddle for a whole weak." Jinyoung whined, as he kissed his boyfriend's neck. Jaebeom cleared his throat, and the Thai simply rolled his eyes comically. The couple seemed to be really into PDA now.

"We can still do that after we stop at the bar. I wanna see the place, and catch up with my old friends." Mark inhaled and looked at Jaebeom. "Bring Jae, and call Jia Er too."

"What?!" A wide-eyed Jinyoung protested.

"Time to bury the hatchet, don't you think?" Mark gave him a serious look. Jinyoung removed his arms from him and shook his head in frustration.

"I think that's a great idea, I mean, if that's what you really want. As long as you don't get near my husband with any sharp object, I'm in." An uncertain Jaebeom said carefully, trying his best not to sound like he was picking a fight. The author still crossed his arms and shot daggers at him. Mark clicked his tongue and nodded to the editor. The Thai didn't look very pleased with the inclusion of the Chinese in their plans for the night so he quickly voiced his worries.

"Don't you think it's too soon? I don't really mind if Youngjae is there, but Jack? Are you for real? I was hoping we could have a nice time tonight. Maybe like a triple date? You two, Gyeom and I, JB and Jae." Bambam gave his friend an uneasy look, and the American soon stood up from the couch again.

"You already call him 'Jack'. Maybe I should start calling him Jack too. Jia Er sounds too foreign." Mark commented and gave his friend a knowing look. "You two have gotten closer, haven't you?"

"Yeah, Mark! Because I meant to find out from him where you were!" Bambam exclaimed in a defensive tone. Jinyoung and Jaebeom just watched the two friends attentively. The author wondered if he should interfere when his boyfriend started to raise his voice.

"You didn't have to!"

"How could I not? He made very clear that you were his enemy, and then you disappeared. I aimed to get some answers from him. You're my goddamn best friend!" Bambam explained desperately.

"Oh, yeah, my best friend! But it wasn't always so. When you came into my life, you also had an agenda. How are you different from 'Jack'? Mark asked mockingly. Jinyoung knew what that was about, the older had mentioned it in his letter. He didn't like to see them fighting, but he didn't think he should interfere in the friends' argument either.

"You've just said minutes earlier that you are not mad at me. Were you lying?" Bambam looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. The older grimaced.

"No, I didn't lie. But you shouldn't be so judgemental. Since you were forgiven, maybe he deserves a second chance too, right?" Mark paused, ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "He didn't do anything horrible to me. You must've figured out that by now. Phase 2 of his revenge was not really a big deal. We can't even call it a revenge at all. I was away because I chose to be away from all of you. He wasn't even there. No one forced me to do anything I didn't want to. Now let's move on from this shitty animosity and have our goddam drinks tonight! See you guys at 7." Mark said firmly and turned away from them. Bambam was agape as his best friend huffed and walked out of the living room. Jinyoung sighed deeply when he watched him climb the stairs to their bedroom.

"How is he?" An uncomfortable Jaebeom asked quietly, not really sure if he should bring up the audio file they listed through Jackson's phone the other day. The man on the recording mentioned that Mark had been tortured, that he had become a doll, and that he was broken. The editor had no more doubts that the Inhuman Life of a Former China Doll was not just fiction. Unfortunately, Jinyoung's chilling short story was indeed based on true events. However, he couldn't help but wonder if the main character of that story had been able to move on from his inhuman life and become human again at some point. He wondered what kind of agenda Bambam had when he entered Mark's life. The American even compared his best friend to Jackson. Jaebeom was certainly intrigued now.

"Apparently okay." Jinyoung replied without much confidence.

"Don't you think he should see someone?" Jaebeom insisted, placing both his hands in his pocket. Mark's sudden change of demeanor baffled him. He couldn't believe that someone who had gone through the sort of trials and tribulations that the American went through could be simply 'okay'. He couldn't have Youngjae around him if the older was going to explode like that out of the blue in the middle of a conversation. His husband didn't need a walking trigger like that.

"Like a shrink? Don't even go there." Bambam warned the editor, shaking his head at him.

"He's just a bit stressed. Who wouldn't be? After everything he's been through...Maybe I'll convince him to stay home tonight." Jinyoung said pensively, but deep down he didn't discard JB's suggestion. Mark was good at hiding things from him. He wouldn't be surprised if Mark were hiding his emotional struggles too.

"Don't. Bring him to the bar. He's been isolated from us for too long. This gathering might get his mind off things." Bambam advised.

"Did he say anything about the dead guy at the hotel? Seungri? Did Jack's brother take care of everything?" Jaebeom asked with concern in his voice.

"We didn't have a chance to talk about that. Maybe we can ask Jackson later." Jinyoung replied sourly.

"Are you not gonna tell me about the antibiotics?" Jaebeom cocked his head to the side and eyed his friend suspiciously. Bambam gave Jinyoung a stern look and secretly mouthed a 'no' in his direction.

"See you at Spinning Top at 7, guys." Jinyoung ignored the editor's question and left the couch. Jaebeom made a face at him when the writer walked to the entryway of the apartment and opened the door for them. "It's time for you to go. Mark and I need some time alone. Don't forget to bring Jae and Seunnah."

Bambam quickly grabbed JB's arm and dragged him out of the apartment, after promising to meet the author and the American later. 

When Jinyoung went into his bedroom he found Mark sitting on the bed and reading a piece of paper that he had carelessly left on the nightstand earlier that morning. It was Soo Young's supposed suicide note. He slowly approached his lover on the bed and sat next to him. When Mark's sorrowful eyes met his, he felt a pang in his heart. Jinyoung felt like crap. He also had an agenda when he walked into Mark's life. He yearned to avenge his sister at that time. He asked himself if that meant he was no better than Jack, or Bam. Mark used to compare him to Cameron Zhou a lot. But the author liked to believe that he was more sincere than the dealer who once made Mark fall in love with him before revealing who he really was. He wished he could erase all the misfortunes people caused Mark in the past. He wished he was not one of the individuals who judged him wrong and caused him pain.

"Jackson played an audio file for me earlier. I know this note was her way to say how much she loved you before she passed. The way she writes about the light you infused within her...It wasn't the baby she was talking about, it was her affection for you. They made her write a suicide note, but they could never made her blame you for her death. You were supposed to be her killer, yet all you did was try to be her savior." Jinyoung told him tenderly, as he rubbed a consoling hand against his back.

"That fated car ride I told you about didn't end in Cam's car after SooYoung and I played Russian roulette. He brought us to an abandoned building. Hara and Daniel were there. They gave me a knife and told me to use her as a target. I refused to, so they did heinous things to me." Mark started sobbing, and Jinyoung took him into his arms, but the older continued talking, as he buried his face on the younger's chest. "She witnessed a horror show, and afterwards they let her leave since she promised to stay away from me. We kept seeing each other in secret though. She tried to convince me to go to the cops. But I knew best to stay away from the authorities. I figured that the worst they could do, was already done. Of course I was wrong. We both were. I let them do what they wanted to me, but they still killed Sooyoungie, Jinyoungie."

"They are all gone, baby. Cry as much as you want, but remember that they can't hurt you, or her anymore. This note led me to you. My sister made us find each other, and I'm sure she's somewhere out there in the clouds, beyond the Seoul sky rooting for us. You'll only have reasons to shed tears of joy from now on. We'll be happy, I promise you. We'll be each other's lighthouse for the rest of our lives." Jinyoung assured him, as he kissed the top of his head.

"Do you promise?" Mark asked in a weak voice, with his head still buried in his lover's dependable chest.

"Of course I do. I told you that I love you with all my three hearts too, haven't you heard?" Jinyoung said softly as he lifted his boyfriend's face and slowly licked the tears staining his cheeks. Mark closed his eyes and let him do it. Soon their mouths found each other, so they could feed on each other's luminescence. When Jinyoung moved his hands to his lower abdomen, the older opened his eyes.

"We should take a shower. We still have come in both our pants, and we've gotta meet the others at Spinning Top soon." Mark broke the kiss before it got too heated.

"Will you keep doing that? For how long?" An observant Jinyoung asked, as he studied his features closely.

"Doing what?" Mark asked awkwardly as he stood up from the bed.

"I wasn't asking for sex, you know. I just wanted to touch you more. Won't you let me caress you under your clothes anymore?" Jinyoung stared at him intensely. Mark sighed.

"Nonsense. Nyoungie, I've just invited you to take a shower together. I feel sticky down there. Come with me and let's get cleaned up. You can touch all of me while we're at it." Mark said, as he chewed on his lips and extended a hand to the Korean.

Jinyoung nodded and smirked at him. They removed all their clothes and made out under the shower. They gave each other a quick handjob and got ready for the gathering at Spinning Top.

Hours later Bambam was mixing cocktails behind the counter of his bar, while Yugyeom talked to a few regulars. The Thai kept eyeing the entrance of Spinning Top nervously.

"You okay, Bammie?" Yugyeom came up behind him and whispered in his ear. The Thai shrugged and turned to him.

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"You said that you and Mark hyung made up. So why do you look so anxious? My cousin and him will stop by, we'll show him the bar, we'll have a couple of drinks, we'll chat about random topics, think happy thoughts, and everything will be alright again." The younger patted him in the back and gave him an encouraging look.

"Jackson is coming too." Bambam said, still a bit apprehensive.

"So what? He'll behave. If he doesn't, we'll have the security kick him out. You heard that recording at my cousin's apartment. Seunnah has no reason to be an asshole to Mark anymore. SooYoung noona didn't kill herself because of Mark. She was murdered, and her murderer is pretty much dead. She was a victim of those bad guys and so was Mark hyung. That happened a long time ago. Period. This gathering is supposed to be a new beginning for all of us. Trust me, this reunion cannot go wrong." Yugyeom gave his boyfriend his most dashing smile and the Thai finally relaxed a bit.

"Do you think Youngjae will be alright though? The place is a bit crowded and he's just...I don't know what's up with him." Bambam commented, hoping that the publicist wouldn't freak out inside a bar full of drunken people once he saw an icepick somewhere.

"We already got that upstairs table ready for the 7 of us. It's cozy, quieter and without much distractions. Jae told me he's looking forward to tonight. He didn't sound afraid to be around everyone again. Plus, he and Mark already talked things out. Mark hyung even gave him Coco, so I guess that whatever happened between them is water under the bridge."

"Let's hope you're right."

"I am, hon." Yugyeom said confidently and kissed his hand furtively, before anyone in the bar could notice what he did. The Thai smirked and watched him turn his attention to their customers again.


	54. Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.” ― Nelson Mandela

It was already 7:37 and only Jackson was at their table nursing a glass of wine. Bambam refused to sit with him before the others arrived, and Yugyeom was still busy explaining Son Young Jae, a talented barback they had hired, how to handle things at the bar while he and Bambam took a break. The young Korean-American bartender apprentice was still learning, but since he was quite the clever multitasker, he often replaced Bambam when he had to leave Yugyeom alone at the bar in case of an emergency. Both Yugyeom and the Thai trusted his talents and also his social skills, so they didn't mind leaving him in charge for a couple of hours.

When Jaebeom and Youngjae arrived, Bambam finally felt like going to the upper floor of the bar, but he dragged his boyfriend with him, of course.

"Where are they? It's almost 8." Jackson commented, a bit anxious. Everybody could see that he was far from comfortable there.

"Maybe it's the traffic." Youngjae commented, as he sipped his cocktail.

"Do you have anywhere else to be, Jackson hyung?" Yugyeom asked casually, while enjoying his seaweed martini.

"No. I guess I'm just having cold feet. Perhaps I shouldn't be here. I'm just not sure how I should behave around them. Do you think they might bail because they know I'm here? Should I leave?" The Chinese asked nervously, and everyone at the table was able to see apprehension plastered on his face. The foreigner was genuinely hoping that the 7 of them could overcome past conflicts and have an harmonic relationship. Yet, he was aware that such a task wouldn't be an easy one. Jackson wanted a second chance, he just didn't know how he would be able to regain his friends' trust again.

"Stay. Mark wants you here. It was his idea to invite you. Jin will keep his feelings in check for his sake." Jaebeom assured him.

"That's the problem. I don't want Jinyoung to be polite with me just to keep his boyfriend happy. For how long do we know each other? I want him to be himself, if he wants to lash out, let him. Geez, I just wish we could be friends like before." A remorseful Jackson stated inconsolably.

"I guess it's too soon for that." Bambam commented, without looking at him. He was trying his best to be indifferent to the Chinese. After one year he got to know the Chinese better, and deep down, he didn't dislike his character. Despite the fact that he tried to befriend Jackson because he believed that he could find out Mark's whereabouts from him, Bambam found it difficult to hate him. Although the American claimed that he wanted to promote peace among the 7 of them, Bambam couldn't help but notice that Mark didn't seem to be happy to know that Jackson and him had gotten closer while he was away, so now he just tried not to sympathize with his friend's former enemy too much. Bambam had fucked up in the past too. He had deceived Mark, and spied on him at 777 Ways, but now he considered the older his best friend. He wondered if Jackson would be able to genuinely befriend the American the same way he managed to do years ago. The Thai was going through a major internal conflict. He hated the fact that he wasn't as mad at Jackson as he should be. It bothered him how Mark's real intentions kept confusing him. Reconciliation was really his best friend's ultimate goal? He couldn't tell. Therefore, he ordered more drinks to help him have enough courage to put that unanswered question aside, at least for that night. 

Youngjae was about to say something when the MarkJin couple approached their table. Bambam looked more than relieved now as he watched everybody stand up to greet Mark and Jinyoung. The American had a smile on his face as he gave everyone brief hugs and shook hands with Jackson. Jinyoung unwillingly did the same, but refused to look the Chinese in the eye. 

"How's Coco, Jae?" Mark asked in a friendly tone, and Jae smiled timidly.

"She's great. She was sleeping when we left home. She's adapting well. She's so adorable and photogenic that I'm thinking of launching her petstagram. I'm sure she'll get thousands of followers. She's well-behaved too. Beom just have to keep her and the cats away from each other when they get too agitated. I'm glad you chose a Maltese, I can play with her all day long and her fur never triggers my allergies. I mean, she's such a sweet princess." Youngjae's smile was as bright as a sunshine while he rambled about his 'daughter'.

"That's what I call a proud daddy." Jaebeom commented as he wrapped an arm around his husband's waist and squeezed him a bit. The publicist blushed, but he didn't brush his hand away. Everybody at the table noticed that the couple was slowly going back to their old routine.

"Dogs are so amazing. I know what you mean. Dalkyum makes my heart flutter every time he follows me around the apartment. He welcomes us home everytime Bam and I return from the bar. I don't think I can live without my baby anymore." Yugyeom commented excitedly, but his boyfriend pulled his ear in protest.

"Hey, I'm your baby. I should be the one making your heart flutter, not a dog." Bambam complained with a pout. 

"Bammie, I'm your pet, you're my owner." Yugyeom winked at him and just pinched his cheek lovingly. Bambam's pout dissolved into a suggestive smirk, and although none of those around them could see, they could swear the Thai was fondling the maknae under the table.

"Such a good pet you are, Gyeomie." Bambam said in his most bedroom voice. Yugyeom had to bite his lips to swallow a grunt.

"Guys, what the fuck!? Kim Yugyeom, remember we're in public." Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at them. The others simply laughed, except for Jackson who just observed the dialogues going on around him, since he was too afraid to chime in.

"They're funny and naughty. We should be more like them, don't you think?" Youngjae chuckled, as he eyed his shocked husband beside him.

"You going back to work soon?" Jackson asked suddenly, addressing the publicist. He didn't mean to pressure Youngjae, he was really just trying to make a conversation.

"Perhaps." Youngjae replied a bit more serious, as his eyes travelled from the Chinese to Mark.

"You should." Mark seemed to answer a question that Youngjae only asked with his eyes. Then the American turned to Team Wang's CEO. "He's a valuable employee, isn't he?"

"He is, indeed." Jackson replied and swallowed. He wasn't sure of what the American meant with the word 'employee', but he chose not to ask for a clarification. Jinyoung scoffed. 

"Of course he is. He'll do anything as long as you ask nicely, and I mean, anything." Jinyoung gave the Chinese a resentful look. Jaebeom frowned at his friend's words, and his husband's expression turned sour. Bambam and Yugyeom were already thinking of how to contain the disaster. Jackson sighed in despair. Mark squeezed the author's thigh, as if to remind him that he should behave. 

"How's Bo Young, Jackson?" Mark asked suddenly. The way the Chinese's popular name slipped out of the American's lips was quite casual, and for some reason it didn't weird him out.

"She's fine, and so are the kids. We're all good. Thanks for asking. By the way, since she knew I was meeting you tonight, she told me to send her regards." Jackson replied, doing his best not to fuck up that interaction.

"Did she? Last time we met at Nora's birthday I was under the impression that she wasn't very fond of me." Mark commented with a lingering of sarcasm on his words.

"Oh, I remember that party. I almost broke Jackson's nose. Had I known he would make my best friend disappear at some point, I would have given him more than a punch." Bambam giggled, but Mark looked at him sternly shutting him up. The Thai was already on his third Sour Seoul and he was clearly becoming intoxicated.

"Bammie, let's not bring up such an unfortunate episode. Happy thoughts, darling. Remember, happy thoughts." Yugyeom told his boyfriend, noticing how the table had turned quiet suddenly.

"I take it my sister is aware of the latest events." Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at the Chinese.

"Yes, she is." Jackson replied, surprised to see the writer actually looking him in the eye. He thought Jinyoung would ignore him for the whole night.

"And when is the wedding?! I mean, you've gotta marry the sister who's still alive, right? Oh, no, scratch that. Perhaps it will be better for the poor thing if two don't even get engaged, she might end up with the same bad luck of your last fiancée." Bambam laughed out loud, as if he had just uttered the funniest joke he had ever heard. The others were appalled.

"Bam, that's disrespectful. She was Jinyoung's sister and Jackson's fiancée. Everybody who knew her mourned her passing. This is no laughing matter." Youngjae reprimanded the Thai before before anyone could comment on his tirade. Yet, Bambam just dismissed his words with a wave of his hand.

"Yugyeom, maybe you should not let him drink so much." Jaebeom suggested, completely aware of how the Thai's comment was about to ruin the night. Jinyoung glared at Bambam, and Jackson for the first time during that night looked like he was ready to murder someone. SooYoung was definitely not a topic that should be taken so lightly.

"Bam-" Yugyeom was about to censure his boyfriend, but the American cut him off.

"My friend is clearly drunk, and probably just trying to show his loyalty to me as he disses Jackson, even though I didn't ask him to. We're having a bit of difficulty communicating lately. It's been more than a year of silence. Excuse his mindless behavior, guys. He'll be the one feeling sorry for himself tomorrow when he wakes up with a terrible hangover." Mark stated, as he held Jinyoung's hand under the table. The Korean relaxed with his touch, and the others seemed to focus on their drinks again.

"Aren't you two going to order anything? We have a variety of beverages for all kinds of tastes." Yugyeom spoke quickly as he adressed Mark and Jinyoung. He immediately turned on his bartender mode. He was feeling extremely awkward after his boyfriend's cruel dig at Jackson. He knew his cousin didn't appreciate the Thai's remark either. Therefore he tried his best to get rid of the tension at the table.

"I'll just have a glass of water. And you, Nyoungie?" Mark asked the writer who was already trying to hide his face when he realized that an unwanted acquaintance recognized him at the table across from them. The American eyed him weirdly, but when a very elegant woman approached their table, he quickly understood what was up.

"Park-shii, what a coincidence!" She exclaimed loudly, and gasped dramatically as she spotted the American beside the author. "Malik, there you are! I was very shocked to hear that you quit your job. You're still looking as dashing as ever though! Look at this table, full of handsome men. The menu is looking good over here. May I join you, guys?" A shameless Jeon So-nee asked abruptly as she placed a hand on Mark's shoulder. Jinyoung didn't think his night could get worse. Jaebeom couldn't believe how unlucky they were to run into that woman there. The others looked puzzled.

"Miss So-nee, what a coincidence. How have you been?" Mark asked politely, as he slowly removed her hand from him.

"Not as fine as you, obviously. You see, when Park-shi claimed he would take you out of the hotel's menu I didn't think he would actually do it. You'll be greatly missed there." She said with a smirk, as her wandering hand returned to his shoulder and squeezed it a bit. The others were appalled at her audacity. The seven of them were too scandalized to even comment on the fact that she had just regarded Mark as food. As a matter of fact, they could barely follow everything she was saying. "Oh, Lim-shi, I didn't see you there. You look much better in your casual look. Nice to see you without a suit. I mean, without wearing anything would be okay too." She snorted playfully.

Jaebeom cringed with embarrassment. The maknaes were trying not to laugh at his disconcert. Youngjae's expression was not cordial. He was clearly bothered by the way the actress eyed his husband up and down.

"I had no idea Spinning Top was the kind of establishment you would frequent. I thought you were more into other line of entertainment, Jeon-shi." Jinyoung gave her a cynical smile, as he suddenly pulled Mark closer to him, forcing the woman to take her bold hands away from his boyfriend. She did not fail to notice their hands entwined under the table. Her grin was large now.

"Hey, you're the actress, right? The one who helped my cousin find Mark." Yugyeom asked innocently.

"Yes, I am, young man. Would you like an autograph?" She smiled slightly at the maknae, causing Bambam to put a possessive hand on his waist. She smirked at the gesture, and turned to Jinyoung again.

"Hum, Park-shii's friends are all quite interesting. Won't you introduce us?" She asked unreasonably.

"We are in the middle of something, miss. Will you be kind enough to give us some privacy?" Jackson spoke from his seat without much patience. He had heard of the actress and her reputation. He wasn't going to go easy on her. So-nee simply nodded to him, then ignored him seconds later. Without much ceremony she regarded the writer one more time.

"I'm just here to remind you of our deal, Park-shii. Can you come over my table so we can discuss our terms?" She asked tentatively. The actress was aware that a reporter from Dispatch was following her around. The man was responsible for exposing many famous people and delivering all kinds of breaking news, and gossip about several Korean celebrities he stalked. Jeon So-nee was about to make the news again, she would see to that.

"What is this about? What terms?" Mark was intrigued. He didn't even know that his boyfriend and JB knew So-nee, and it was the first time he heard that she had helped the author to find him. Jinyoung just gave the American a reassuring look and stood up from his seat.

"Jinyoung, don't go. Whatever she has to say to you it can be discussed another time." Jackson advised.

"I second that." Jaebeom agreed.

"I'm sure it's not urgent, Jinyoung. Get her number and call her later if this is about work." Even Youngjae voiced his opinion, really hoping that the woman would leave them be. However, she didn't even move from her spot.

"Guys, don't be so harsh. It's not like she's gonna kidnap hyung and take him away forever. Chill out!" Yugyeom commented naively. Bambam was too drunk to express himself, and Mark just eyed his boyfriend weirdly as he ignored his friends' advices and accompanied So-nee to the table across from theirs.

"What kind of business does she have with my boyfriend, JB?" Mark demanded, and the editor shook his head at him.

"It's a long story. But I'm sure you and everyone at this table will find out pretty soon." Jaebeom looked at the pair worriedly, as they sat at the table across from them. The six men focused on the twosome talking a few feet away from them, but it was impossible to hear what they were discussing. They saw Jinyoung frown at the woman and shake his head. Then she grabbed his arm and pulled him to a kiss. Camera flashes could be noticed from somewhere not far from their spot. The group was flabbergasted.

An annoyed Mark stood up and marched to their table. So-nee simply snickered when Mark took Jinyoung by the wrist and yanked him from her grasp. The others gasped as they watched Mark drag his boyfriend all the way to the toilet. The actress had a big smile on her face before she waved goodbye at the five and left the bar with her stalker in tow. 

"What the hell just happened?" Youngjae was still astonished.

"Should I go check on them?" Yugyeom looked worried.

"Relax. That woman was just looking for publicity. I'm sure Mark realized that this nonensical kiss was staged. He probably took Jin away because of the damn camera flashes." Jackson assured the maknae.

"I bet someone is gonna get spanked in that toilet." Bambam giggled.

"Bam-ah, if you don't stop sputtering nonsense you'll be the one getting spanked before the night is over." Jaebeom stated in a strict tone. Bambam pouted, while Yugyeom hugged his boyfriend protectively. 

Meanwhile, Jinyoung and Mark were having a row not too far from there. When they reached the toilet, the American briskly let go of the author’s wrist, and a heated argument followed.

"What the actual fuck was that, Jinyoung?" Mark fumed, as he crossed his arms and glared at the writer.

"A debt I had to pay, unwillingly." Jinyoung started, as he checked all the bathroom stalls to make sure that they were the only ones there. Fortunately, he found out the place was empty. "Listen, I looked for her when I saw you in those pictures of the AAA. She gave me her business card so I could get into the hotel. She claimed that I would have to pay her back someday, and now she insisted that a kiss was the price for her earlier assistance."

"And you just let her kiss you? Right in front of me?" An exasperated Mark asked.

"Baby, don't be like that. It wasn't intentional, you saw that she initiated it. There's nothing going on between me and that man-eater. Actually, I'm glad I don't owe her anything anymore." The writer tried to appease him, but it was not working.

"Have you been exchanging your lips for useless favors while I was away?" Mark asked accusingly, and that was it. His boyfriend immediately felt wronged, and unable to see through the American's jealous meltdown, he retaliated. 

"You've done worse." Jinyoung shot back accusingly. "By the way, her hands were all over you out there and you didn't even stop her advances! You’re the one who actually fucked her before and you still let her touch you before my own freaking eyes! How do you think I feel about that?!"

"Whatever I did while I was Malik it was done because I was in a mis-"

"A mission! Yeah, that's exactly what that kiss you've just witnessed was about. I kissed her because I had to. Who knows the kind of trouble this woman could cause us? She knows too much! She knows about our relationship, she knows you were an escort at that hotel, she even knows you've quit your so-called job! I wouldn't be surprised to find out that she is aware of what happened to Seungri too. The man was murdered right after I got her business card and claimed that I was going to get you out of there. She might've figured out by now that besides being a novelist, I eventually commit homicides! We have to be careful. She can blackmail us if she wants to!" The Korean, as always, pictured the worst scenarios in his mind. He paced around the toilet, disgruntled by Mark's lack of trust in him. 

"She knows nothing about that. No one knows what happened in that hotel room. Daisuke took care of everything. Even if she knew anything, she wouldn't dare to blackmail us, because she would be blackmailing a Hara. That's suicide." The American gritted his teeth.

"She can still spread the word that I'm gay, and that I'm dating a former escort." Jinyoung sighed in frustration. "I wouldn't mind coming out to my family in the most proud way like my cousin did. But I'm a fucking public figure, and I have to think of my parents. They've already lost Soo Young, and I don't wanna cause them unecessary grief.

"You shouldn't have made any stupid deal with her to begin with. What's next then? You're gonna have sex with her too in order to keep her mouth shut? If you think I'll put up-"

"I think I've put up with your selfish decisions for quite some time, for more than a year, Mark! Maybe it's time for you to accept my own decisions too." Jinyoung cut him off and stared hard at him. Mark's eyes watered, but he stood his ground.

"I didn't ask you to put up with anything. You chose to, since the beginning! But now it's not only about mine, or your decision anymore. It's our decision! We are together, remember? You should have told me about her, so we could discuss this issue between us!" Mark snarled, as he kicked a garbage can next to the sink. "But don't worry, I won't let her have her way with you. If she tries anything funny again I'll fucking kill-"

"Stop with these insanities! You can't go around stabbing people or burning them alive! This is not a war, you're not a soldier, and you're not on a goddamn mission! For fuck's sake, act like a normal person for once in your life! You're not gonna kill anyone anymore, you hear me? That's enough. If I hear you sputter an absurd like that again I swear I'll lock you up in a loony bin!" Jinyoung said harshly, but deep down he was scared. He didn't know if Mark really meant what he was going to say. He didn't know if he could stop his boyfriend from murdering anyone. He didn't know if Mark would let him. He wasn't sure of how the American felt about taking someone's life. What happened at the hotel still haunted him. Jinyoung figured that the older was used to seeing dead bodies, but he wasn't. Even though he didn’t regret murdering Seungri, he was still a Christian, so killing someone was still a terrible sin. He wondered if Mark was a believer, since he talked so much about redemption in his letter. But Mark didn't seem to care about going to heaven someday. He would certainly sin again if he had to. Over and over again. And Although Jinyoung wouldn’t refrain from sin with him, or for him as long as they remained together, he knew that such a dangerous line of thought could send him to hell. It terrified him the fact that something inside Mark could be broken since a long time ago, and neither he nor anyone else could ever fix it. He feared being a little broken too now, since he was a sinner who loved another sinner who had no qualms about sinning. Perhaps loving the American could be already considered a transgression in his religion. He did love the sinner and he didn’t hate his sins, since he thought that every single one of them was justified. He wondered if he was too far gone, for he didn’t mind falling from grace for that one.

"A loony bin? How dare you!" A furious Mark yelled at him, as tears streamed down his face.

"Look at you, look at how you're acting! I can barely have a civilized conversation with you when you're like that!" Jinyoung exclaimed. He hated to see Mark cry, but he was feeling too aggrieved to feel bad for him. Jeon So-nee's appearance at Spinning Top had reminded him of an unchangeable reality. He couldn't stop thinking about her hands on his boyfriend's shoulder. He couldn't stop wondering what other parts of him she was able to touch in other opportunities. But she wasn't the only one. There were others, many others. The man he loved was touched by countless hands, possessed by numerous random bodies. Could he even consider him only his? How many times former 'customers' of Malik would stop them in the middle of a date to greet him? Would they even keep their hands to themselves whenever they recognized him on the street? Would Mark make clear to them that he was just 'Mark' now? Would Jinyoung himself be able to control his jealousy? He couldd barely do that at the moment.

"You know what? If you wanna fuck her, go ahead and do it, she might even make you straight! But I assure you, she's not that good in bed." Mark retorted unreasonably, as he wiped his tears and walked out the toilet. Jinyoung stared at the door in disbelief. He felt like running after his boyfriend and locking him up somewhere, where no one could ever see or touch the older, but him. Then he felt like a maniac for thinking like that. He struggled to find a way to recompose himself. He splashed some water over his face and tried to control his temper before going after his lover. The Korean finally took a deep breath, counted to ten, and exited the toilet.


	55. Thank You, Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry that you cried on your own. Forgive me for not being your home.”― Lidia Longorio

When he decided to return to the table, he wished he hadn't. From afar he could see the questioning looks of his friends. Mark was there too, and he wondered if anyone could tell he was crying a few minutes ago. He wondered if he had told them what they argued about. There was also another person there too, a young man wearing the same uniform as the bar staff.

"So, are you sure you're only having water, sir? We have many-"

"Just bring the fucking water, kid." Mark said in English without even bothering to look at the barback. His mother tongue still slipped from his mouth whenever he was too upset.

"Oh my God, your accent! I can't believe it. Are you from LA!?" The young man shifted to English too. Although Mark looked quite peevish, he didn't seem to be intimidated by it. As a matter of fact, the young waiter apparently found his rough approach very cool. 

"Yeah. Why? Are you American by any chance?" Mark asked without much enthusiasm, as he lifted his eyes to look at him. The boy looked quite handsome, but barely legal. His smile was heartstopping, yet not as magnetic as Jinyoung’s. Mark couldn't bring himself to keep being rude at the straightforward youngster who seemed to be too excited to hear another soul speaking fluent English around him. Mark used to know how that felt during his first months in Korea. That one didn't deserve his anger at all.

"No, I was born here in Seoul, but I was raised in LA. I spent most of my life there. Damn, I miss that place. Did you know I won 2nd place at a baseball championship in California while I was in middle school? Maybe we even crossed paths there. Which school did you go to?" The young man said excitedly. The way he spoke fast and without reservations amused the others, who just watched the boy bombard the older with questions. Bambam thought about making a proper introduction, but the young man was doing all by himself. At least the silliness of his employee was a distraction to his friend. Mark's face didn't look so distressed now as it was seconds ago. 

Yugyeom eyed their small interaction closely, but didn't interfere either. His eyes scanned their surroundings in search for the writer. He could tell that whatever his cousin and Mark had discussed in the toilet after that shameless kiss was not pleasant. No one at the table had a chance to question the older about it yet, since that kid was already at their table when Mark rejoined them. It was obvious that the American was not in the mood for chitchat when he returned to them without Jinyoung, but for some reason, that talkative employee managed to hold the older's attention, and even dissolve the displeased look on his face.

"I'm not your age, I don't think we went to the same school. I'm actually 28." Mark said awkwardly, yet he couldn't help but smile a little at him. He thought that the boy's keenness was adorable. It reminded him of his little brother Joey, who he hadn't seen in years. Somehow, the young man made him feel a bit nostalgic.

"Have you heard that, Sohn? Too old for you to act so informally. Actually, he's also one of the owners of this bar, so don't be inconvenient. I'm sure you don't wanna make a bad impression on your boss." Yugyeom informed his employee, raising an eyebrow at the barback. Bambam just elbowed his boyfriend slightly and chuckled.

"Our Sohn is a social butterfly. Let him be. Markie does need some freshness in his life. Maybe he should take a break from grumpy writers now and then." The Thai teased mercilessly. Jaebeom frowned at Bambam. Youngjae almost choked on his drink. Yugyeom shook his head in exasperation. Jackson mostly kept to himself. Mark secretly gave him the finger.

"Oh, you're a huyng! The huyng! Mark hyung, right? Do you take the honorifics issue seriously? I mean, maybe we can become friends? Bambam told me a lot about your bartending skills, and I can't believe I finally get to meet you. My name is Son Young Jae, and my English name is Eric Sohn. You can just call me Eric, though. I'm a 20 years old Capricorn and my dream is to be a great bartender. I'm anxious to learn from the oldest owner of Spinning Top. I actually have some questions for you about a couple of cocktails mixing. Have you got time?" The boy's unwavering animated tone made the older gasp. Everybody was perplexed by the number of sentences the barback could deliver in just a couple of seconds. Mark wondered if he was a rapper in another life. Eric's unique character and uplifting mood made the older forget why he was crying minutes ago. 

"I guess we'll have plenty of time to talk about drinks some other day, kid. We'll be spending a lot of time together since I plan to start bartending again. But tonight I'm just hanging out with friends, you see." Mark gave him an apologetic look and bit on his bottom lip, feeling a bit self-conscious. The others kept silent, exchanging knowing looks. Jaebeom wondered if they shouldn’t send the barback away before his best friend returned to the table. Youngjae was praying that Jinyoung hadn't decided to leave the bar, he could tell the kid was hitting hard on Mark, and the American wasn't really establishing a boundary between employer and employee there. He didn’t know how things worked in LA, but in Korea no employee would ask to be friends with his boss at their first contact, and no employer would be so lenient with a younger worker. Bambam thought it was fair for Mark to receive such attention after having to witness his lover lock lips with a famous actress. Yugyeom wondered if he would have to fire Sohn that night for the sake of his cousin. He really didn't want Jinyoung to kill anyone in that bar, and he was quite relieved that the writer wasn't there to hear Mark say that he would be spending a lot of time with the young barback on other occasions. Jackson was certainly getting bored.

"Of course. Silly me! I really don't mean to disturb you while you're having fun with your friends. Sorry for suggesting such an stupid idea. Can you do me a favor, though?" Sohn asked without losing his energy. "I've heard somewhere that a bartender can tell if a barback is gonna be a good bartender someday just by feeling the texture of their hands. Can you check mine?" Sohn extended a hand to Mark, but before the American could even give him a response, Jinyoung interrupted them and shook his hand instead.

"Hi. Park Jinyoung. Nice to meet you. You've got a name?" Jinyoung appeared abruptly, taking the boy by surprise. For a moment the young man felt too intimidated to say anything. The writer's firm handshake didn't make him back away though.

"Glad you finally managed to join us again, Jinyoung. Since you are here, let me do the introductions. This is Eric Sohn, or Son Young Jae, if you prefer to use his Korean name. He's our barback. He started working here a few weeks ago. He's young, but he's one of the most hardworking employees in our Korean-American staff. He does a bit of everything actually. Sometimes he helps us deliver drinks, sometimes he cleans tables, sometimes he even bartends a little. He's still getting the hang of things in Spinning Top. But he's a fast learner. He does enjoy his job, and he's quite popular with the regulars. By the way, he's single, and he loves Americans, especially the ones from LA." Bambam said teasingly, and smirked, as Jinyoung let go of the kid's hand abruptly. Jackson crossed his arms and shook his head in frustration. Yugyeom inhaled. Youngjae and Jaebeom tried to pretend that they didn't read the malice in the Thai's words. Mark felt like killing his best friend. He knew what the Thai was doing, and he didn't appreciate his behavior at all.

"Jesus Christ. Another Young Jae? Did you hear that, Mark? I'm sure you guys will get along with each other. You do like Youngjaes, don't you? Where do you prefer this one? At the edge of a kitchen knife or in a comfortable bed?" Jinyoung asked viciously, without even glancing at Mark. He couldn't help himself. Jealousy was taking the best of him at that gathering. He felt he had to mark his territory the whole time. He wondered how many people would hit on his boyfriend that night or any other night. Jaebeom gave him a dirty look, and his husband looked painfully guilty now. Yugyeom and Bambam exchanged looks, knowing that it would be better for Sohn to leave their table immediately and ask someone else to take their orders. Jackson found the whole scene ridiculously cruel.

"You're not even drunk and you're acting like this? At least Bam is hammered, what's your excuse?" Jackson shook his head at him.

"Don't you dare criticize me. Not you!" Jinyoung said caustically.

"Sohn, send someone else to bring Mark and my cousin some water, will you? Check on the orders of other patrons too. Take your time, help the other waitresses. I'll let you know when your presence is required here." Yugyeom said in a rarely stern tone, but before the kid excused himself, the writer protested. 

"I didn't order any water." Jinyoung complained, as he towered over the oblivious waiter.

"Can I get you something else then, sir?" Sohn asked politely. He wondered if Jinyoung was high. He had dealt with inebriated customers before. He was used to the sudden violent outbursts of strangers. He didn't scare easily.

"You could get the fuck away from us. I'll probably double your tip later if you do." The author said harshly.

"Hey! I hope you don't deck the kid. I'll call security on you if you do." Bambam said shortly, regretting riling the author up earlier. Jinyoung still shot daggers at the boy.

"Jinyoung-ah, sit the fuck down and shut up. You're embarrassing yourself and all of us. Did that woman steal a kiss from you, or you goddamn sanity?" Jaebeom was already losing his cool. Youngjae kept silent and rubbed a hand on his husband's back to calm him down. He wished he could do more, but he thought that he would just make things worse if he opened his mouth.

"Son Young Jae, leave us!" A unusually strict Yugyeom at last raised his voice, and the kid immediately bowed, excused himself and walked away.

"Maybe we should call it a night." An uneasy publicist suggested in a small voice as Mark massaged his temples quietly.

"That's an understatement." Jackson commented wearily. That night was supposed to be all about building bridges, but he didn't even find the right tools to bring his friends together. He didn't even get to make a proper speech and deliver the apologies he planned to. He unfortunately had to consider that eventful gathering a fail.

"It's a bit early to go home, don't you think?" Bambam furrowed his brows, and then crossed his arms. "Plus, I haven't even heard why Jinyoung made my best friend cry. Have you seen his face? He can't look so miserable just because a stupid kiss!"

The American was about to reproach his best friend but the Chinese beat him to it.

"Would it make any difference if you knew? It's really none of your business, Kunpimook! They're a fucking couple. They don't have to divulge their problems to the world, and you're not a couples' counselor as far as I know. You're not helping, so don't make things worse. They are supposed to fix whatever is wrong with their relationship by themselves. Understand that at once and stop meddling. They are grown men. And although I had a biased vision of who Mark really is, I'm still positive that he's definitely not the kind of person who would go easy on somebody who made him cry, so do not pity him. You know the guy more than I do. If Jin is making him miserable, your friend will certainly make him ten times more miserable. He can take care of himself. Stop coddling him. He knows more about revenge than anyone at this table. Let both of them be idiots and sort their shit." Jackson snapped. Bambam didn't even have time to elaborate a comeback since the writer didn't give him a chance to do it. He attacked Jackson gratuitously.

"Look who's talking! All you do is meddle with other people's affairs! Why are you even here?! Do you really expect forgiveness? You'll find none! You took one year and 7 months from us. There's no way I'll ever forget that!" Jinyoung growled. Jaebeom felt his husband tremble in his seat and immediately tried to appease him. Youngjae was going to have a panic attack if the author kept spitting his fury at everybody there. Yugyeom looked at his hyungs helplessly, his eyes screamed for help. Bambam miraculously didn't have any point to make. Jackson looked extremely hurt, but he said nothing.

As soon as Jinyoung opened his mouth again to resume his tirade, and sputter more lines that he would probably regret later, Mark grabbed Yugyeom's seaweed martini and threw it at the author's face. The writer was petrified for a couple of seconds. The others were agape for a while, except for Bambam who tried not to laugh out loud.

"I stayed away for one year and 7 months because I wanted to, Jack had nothing to do with it, he didn't take anything from us. He doesn't have that kind of power. Get that in your thick head. Now Park Jinyoung, you either get a hold of yourself, or I am gonna go. I definitely didn't come here to watch a shitshow." Mark said in a commanding voice. The last thing he wanted to see was Jinyoung fighting with all his friends at once. The last thing he wanted to see was his boyfriend being an asshole to everyone because of him. The American knew he shouldn't have stormed out of that toilet before they had reached a fair understanding. He knew his boyfriend would never cheat on him with that actress, after all, he was the reason why Jinyoung sought her out in the first place. He was just too blinded by jealousy after witnessing that kiss, and he was incapable of thinking straight when he dragged his boyfriend away from her. He couldn't allow anyone to taste the lips of his dearest prince. He was immensely possessive of Jinyoung's kisses. All of them belonged to him and no one else. He was aware that he had scared the Korean when he mentioned killing that woman. He could sense that Jinyoung was frightened of his third heart sometimes. The writer had plenty of reasons to freak out like that. But Mark had only said those apparently disturbing words in the heat of the moment, to win that argument, and perhaps remind his boyfriend that he was his Achilles heel too.

When Jinyoung finally turned to his boyfriend and stared at his puffy eyes, he immediately sat down beside him and relented. He quickly remembered what he had promised Mark earlier at the apartment. He had told the older that he would only give him reasons to cry of joy from that moment on. The author's expression changed drastically, as he realized the huge mistake he had made. He had recklessly broken his promise in the most irresponsible way.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, babe." A dejected Jinyoung said full of regret, as he placed both his hands on his face in shame. "I'm sorry guys. I'm really sorry, Seunnah. I know you're trying, all of you are. I'm kinda trying too." The whole table eyed the hopeless author with a mix of concern and wonder.

"Are you fucking crying?" Bambam asked curiously.

"No." Jinyoung replied, still without showing his face. He felt Mark's fingers caress the nape of his neck. He truly expected that his lover's kind gesture meant that he accepted his apology.

"It's okay if you feel like crying. It's been rough on you lately. That bloody episode at that 5 star hotel must've been a terrible experience for you. You're traumatized. Anger and tears are a natural response. I can relate to what you're feeling right now. I know how it feels like to kill someone for the first time. You think it was fair, and you tell yourself that you had to do it in order to survive. You avoid the guilt and the remorse at first. Then you start wondering if there wasn't really a way to avoid that killing. Your victims' last grunts stay within you to the point that when you wake up from a nightmare it's not your voice that you hear screaming in your room, it's his." Bambam said quietly, no judgment in his eyes. The others listened to him quietly, too absorbed in the Thai's heavy words. His tone was distant, but unexpectedly sober. "It will pass, you know. You just have to find your voice again, pursue it with all your might. If you don't, it will eventually be buried with your victim, and the dead will win. To defeat the ghostly power your first kill's wail has over your temper, you've gotta do what you can to make sure it's still your own sounds digging their way up to your throat whenever you open your mouth."

A shocked Jinyoung lifted his head, and blinked repetitively as he met the Thai's gaze intensely. Sometimes he forgot that Bambam came from the same war zone as Mark, and that perhaps he had spent more time around the Collector, than Mark himself. The Thai often put up a strong front whenever he felt the need to defend Mark. He would always be lovey-dovey with Yugyeom. He was mostly playful, sassy, and outgoing around the others. The writer wondered how long it took for the Thai to find his voice again, after so many other agonizing sounds filled his ears throughout the years. He felt like thanking the Thai for that valuable insight. He hadn't even considered the fact that Seungri's death could've an impact on his emotional stability. Mark's return was his main focus since he left that hotel, and he hadn't even allowed himself to think of the effects that ordeal they went through could have on his moods. Perhaps he wasn't on the edge just because Jackson was there, or because that actress showed up, or because a kid started flirting with his boyfriend. Perhaps he did hate his own sin. He could still be mourning the man he killed in order to save Mark and himself. Seungri's dying grunts could still be raging inside of him.

Everybody was silent for a long minute, as if they pondered Bambam's profound conclusions. Then Jackson decided to speak up. And since the American was already calling him 'Jack', he tried using the name 'Mark' to address him, instead of Yi-en.

"Mark, would it be all right if we rescheduled this reunion? We can try this again. At my house, this weekend. We can all gather there for lunch. Only the 7 of us, no distractions. I promise no one will bother us there. No actresses, no fanboys. I recommend that you and Jin try to get some rest in the meantime. You guys look like you need it." The Chinese gave the couple a sympathetic look and threw some napkins at the writer so he could wipe the remains of martini from his face.

"That's a lovely idea, Jackson. Thank you. I couldn't agree with you more. What do you guys say?" Mark eyed the others with anticipation. 

"I'm in." Bambam was the first to confirm his presence.

"So am I." His boyfriend raised his hand in agreement.

"We can make it, right, Jae?" Jaebeom held the publicist's hands and he nodded energetically.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Youngjae's smile was as bright as a sunshine again. The possibility of a full reconciliation didn't seem so absurd now.

Jinyoung took a deep breath and gave the Chinese an uncertain look.

"Come on man, we can make this work if the seven of us are there. If you say no, there's no reason for a weekend banquet, and I'll have to take back all the other invitations. You'll ruin everyone's plans. It's seven or nothing." A hopeful Jackson gave him a pleading look and paused, just to find more reasons to convince his troubled once-upon-a-time brother in law that they needed to be okay again. Then he added in a lighter tone. "By the way, how am I supposed to keep meddling in your life if you don't actually let me in? I used to be a good influence once, you know? I can be that guy again if you let your guard down a little. I need this opportunity. Mark is clearly onboard with it, or perhaps he's just a hell of an actor and is secretly plotting my demise." Jackson made a comical face and the American chuckled darkly. Jinyoung clearly didn't appreciate his joke. So Jackson turned serious again. "Listen Park gae, I won't ever let you down again. Allow me to show you, Mark, and all our friends that I won't throw away a second chance. Please."

"Very well. It's seven or nothing then." Jinyoung nodded, as he glanced at Mark and surprisingly saw his lover smiling at him. Since the writer smelled of seaweed martini, the couple soon said their goodbyes and excused themselves.

When they were about to exit the bar, Jinyoung told Mark to wait for him at the car while he also apologized to a certain someone. He had to scan the crowd in order to find the barback he almost hit. When he did, he noticed a lot of other customers laughing and chatting around the boy. He couldn't help but admit that the youngster was quite talented at making friends. He regretted being so hard on him. Maybe the communicative Korean-American kid didn't have any ulterior motives towards his boyfriend, and he was just being friendly.

"Eric, right? It was nice meeting you, kid. Forgive my behavior before. I'm off my meds." Jinyoung said as he approached him, but the kid assumed he was joking. Jinyoung had actually stopped taking his medication for depression, he didn’t think he needed it since Mark was back. Now he wasn’t so sure.

"Oh, don't worry about it, sir! Thank you for choosing Spinning Top tonight. Drive safely and come back soon." The boy bowed to him respectfully, then took a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Jinyoung.

"What's that?" The author asked as he examined the number on the paper.

"It's my contact. Please give it to Mark. I saw him leave a minute ago, but I was too busy here to go after him. I'm going bowling with some friends later, they are foreigners too. Tell him to call me in case he wants to join us." Eric blushed and ran away from him embarrassedly.

The author shook his head in disbelief and chuckled. Maybe the boy did have ulterior motives towards his boyfriend. However, Jinyoung considered him harmless. He wondered how he could get angry at such an immature and oblivious kid like Eric. Before he went back to the car to join Mark, he threw the piece of paper into a garbage can and pretended that little interaction had never happened.

An hour later...

"I'm sorry." They were the first words which left the writer's mouth as soon as he and Mark entered their bedroom. After a quite silent car ride, he felt that he should apologize one more time.

"What are you apologizing for? You're the one drenched in seaweed martini. Do you see me apologizing for my actions?" Mark raised an eyebrow at him as he sat on the bed.

"I was a complete asshole. I promised you I wouldn't ever make you cry-"

"I wasn't crying. I just had a speck stuck in my eye." Mark cut him off and joked wearily.

"Don't give me that, even Bam could tell-"

"Hey, stop it. Ignore what Bam said. You didn't make me cry. I made myself cry out of frustration. Listening to the truth is a bit discomforting, you know? You did put up with a lot of shit because of me. I shouldn't doubt your faithfulness. Hell, I'm the one who's not trustable. There were many others after Youngjae. I didn't love any of them, but sex is still sex, right? I still can't believe that you want me back. The truth is, I have no right to be jealous of you, but I get why you might feel that way towards me. You're entitled to feel insecure. But I can assure you that there's no reason to. I will never look at any man, or touch any man that's not my boyfriend from now on. I have you by my side now and I'm not gonna risk losing you. You waited for me all this time and you've have been extremely forgiving with me. I don't intend to take your heart for granted. From now on, I'll be the one to say thank you and apologize as much as I can. I'm really sorry for making you say sorry tonight. It's okay to think that I'm selfish and unfair, I know you feel wronged. But Jae is JB’s and I’m solely yours. Mark said calmly as he beckoned the author to sit beside him. Jinyoung’s eyes shone as he sat beside his lover and placed his head on his shoulder, just to keep listening to his soothing words. “Jackson is not a villain, he misses So Young too and he clearly misses you. It’s time to move on, Jin. Together. No barbacks included." Mark joked, and the writer finally smiled.

"Are you still gonna wanna be with me if the tabloids tomorrow speculate that Jeon So-nee and I have three children and that we secretly got married in Hawaii?" A smirking Jinyoung asked the older. The risible content of those news sounded too ludicrous even for a Dispatch article.

"There are no tabloids in Seoul." Mark grinned.

"We still have sensacionalist media." Jinyoung smirked and lifted his head from his shoulder to stare at him.

"Okay then. If they request an interview from me, I'll just tell them that I plan to adopt your three kids once you divorce her." The American played along.

"You know what? She can keep the children. The only kids I am gonna raise are yours." Jinyoung winked at him. The Korean threw himself at him, purposely putting all the weight of his body on top of Mark.

"Geez, you and this children talk again." The American rolled his eyes at him.

"I wanna be a dad someday." Jinyoung pouted.

"Good for you." Mark scowled.

"I still have to convince my life partner that he can be a good dad too."

''I hate children." The older stated.

"Well I can always ask Jeon So-nee if she's up to it."

"Up for what?" Mark made a face at him.

"Have my babies? Maybe she likes children." Jinyoung gave him a sly smile. Mark feigned offense and swiftly changed their positions. Before Jinyoung could react he swiftly climbed on top of him.

"Your dick gets near her pussy, I'll fucking cut it off." He said as he groped the Korean firmly. Jinyoung laughed at his antics, and pulled him to him for a brief kiss.

"I don't have to get near her genitals. Artificial Insemination is still possible, right?" The author kept teasing.

"Let me make this clearer. Neither your dick nor your sperm is getting near her goddam uterus, got it?" Mark slapped his chest lightly. Jinyoung groaned.

"I love when you get all possessive on me, babe. Wanna punish me for these bad thoughts?" Jinyoung whispered sexily ad he gave the older a suggestive look and stroked his thighs.

"You're usually a prude, but sometimes you’re such a pervert." Mark scoffed and moved to get off him, but Jinyoung pulled him back quickly, earning a frown from his lover. "Wait, does this talk about dicks and pussies turns you on? Perhaps you’re becoming straight?" Mark gave him a comical look of disbelief.

"No. You sitting on my crotch turns me on. The thought of what we could be doing right now instead of talking is quite arousing." The Korean replied, as held the older by the waist and bucked his hips against him.

"Fuck, you're rock hard." Mark bit on his bottom lip as he felt the front of his pants.

"Did you just say that you want me to fuck you hard?" Jinyoung asked suggestively, giving his lover his most sensual look.

"Nice try." Mark chuckled and tried to get away from him again. This time the writer let him lay beside him.

“Do you have anything better to do?” Jinyoung laid on his side to face his boyfriend attentively.

“We’ve gotta talk. You mentioned the loony bin at the bar, it got me thinking.”

“Babe, I know that was uncalled for-”

“This is not about me. Look, in my letter I told you how I’ve been doing all this time I was away. But I still don’t know your side of the story. I wanna hear about your woe too. I want you to tell me about the depression.” Mark uttered quietly. The Korean’s expression changed, as he quickly got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. The American sat up on the bed and eyed him in confusion.

“I need a shower, otherwise I’m gonna end up making our bed stink of martini.” The author declared and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving his boyfriend behind with a puzzled look on his face.


	56. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He who kisses joy as it flies by will live in eternity's sunrise.” ~ William Blake

When Jinyoung got out of the shower and came back to the bedroom, he eyed the bed and noticed that Mark was apparently sound asleep. The Korean did his best not to wake him up, so he quietly put on his pajamas, covered Mark with a blanket after landing a tender kiss on his forehead, and carefully walked out the door.

He came down to the living room without even bothering to turn the lights on and sat on the couch. He was sweating, even though he had just taken a shower. He didn't feel sleepy at all, but he told himself that he wouldn't take his pills anymore. The luminosity of the full moon outside filtered by the balcony glass door was the only source of light allowed to sneak in his silent apartment. The author thought of reaching for the company of his cell phone, his laptop, or the TV, but he didn’t move from where he was. He just stared at the ceiling and sighed, wondering if he would be able to watch the sun rise from that spot on the couch. He wondered if Mark wouldn’t enjoy watching the sun rise with him, but he didn’t want to bother his boyfriend at that hour, it would be cruel of him to wake the older up for such a thing. Just because he was suffering from insomnia, Mark shouldn’t lose sleep because of him. He considered going to bed and watch his lover sleep. That would be a sight even more spectacular than the sunrise. It wasn’t a bad idea at all, and also quite romantic. They had done it a couple of times in the past, and each sunrise they beheld together was unique.

As he contemplated the past, the writer couldn’t help but remember those small moments of blissful peace and make plans for the future. He thought of taking Mark out of Seoul someday for a vacation and drive him to his hometown. He was sure Mark would love Jinhae-gu. He thought they could have a picnic someday at a park, or stop by a carnival so they could kiss on the top of a Ferris Wheel. He thought of comfortable indoor activities too, like cozy up under a blanket and find the perfect TV series to binge watch with his lover or just do a movie marathon all day long. He was also thinking of their next ‘candlelight dinner’, their next slow dance while making cocktails in the kitchen, and the next time they would be able to make love without worrying about the HIV.

Actually, he already missed his boyfriend, even though the older was lying on their bed upstairs. He missed the simple view of the movements of Mark’s chest, quietly rising and falling with every breath he took. They had spent so much time away from each other that Jinyoung felt that he shouldn’t leave his side so carelessly. He told himself that he couldn’t neglect any chance of being near him, even while he slept. His angel without wings had flown away with his happiness before. Now the Korean would make sure to keep Mark always within arm’s reach to prevent him from leaving with a piece of his soul again.

When he had finally convinced himself to go to bed just to let his lover’s breath and scent envelop him in warmth, he suddenly noticed another presence in the living room. He turned his head to the direction of the staircase and he could swear that there was someone sitting there a second ago. The author wondered if his cousin had gotten inside his apartment and was about to pull a prank on him, but even though Yugyeom was a night owl, it was very late for a joke of that nature. His utterly creative mind didn’t discard the possibility of a ghost, but he had lived in that place for quite long, and he hadn’t faced any supernatural experiences so far. At last he heard retreating footsteps softly climbing up the stairs. He was so attentive of every single noise Mark made that he swiftly identified whose steps were walking in the shadows to hide from him.

"Even if you came in without my permission, you still cannot leave without my permission, whether it's my room or my heart." 

“Geez, where did you get this cheesy line? From a Korean drama?” Mark's invigorating voice behind him galvanized his very core, he could already feel his heart beating faster. He could already feel a smile forming on his lips. He wondered how long the other was there just inspecting his uneventful hours of reverie. The American crossed his arms and circled the couch until he stood in front of him. "Anyways, I don’t plan to leave any of the places you mentioned with or without your permission.” The older made a face at him and then added. “By the way, is there any reason why you're down here in the dark and not cuddling up in bed with me?"

“Missing me already?” Jinyoung smirked. He couldn’t believe that he didn't even hear the American come down the stairs earlier. He wished that his boyfriend hadn’t woken up just to check on him, but he was glad to have him there even though he didn’t want the older to see him in that state. His body hadn’t adapted to the absence of the antidepressants he was taking for a while. The sudden withdrawal from those meds made him feel a bit nauseated, and restless.

“Always. Why are you here anyways?” Mark complained, giving him a questioning look.

"I cannot sleep, and I didn't want to wake you up.” The Korean replied and patted the spot beside him, inviting the older to join him on the couch. Since Mark was already there, he didn’t mind having his pleasant company in the room to distract him from his short-term indisposition. He would’ve gone to the American, if the latter hadn’t gone to him anyways.

"Are you still depressed?" The American asked carefully as he placed one hand above his as soon as he sat down.

"I don’t think so. I guess I'm just having discontinuation symptoms. It will pass within a week. I quit my antidepressant cold turkey. The dosage of the medication was supposed to be slowly reduced, but I didn’t go back to therapy to adjust the dosage. I just stopped taking it completely. The doctor told me about the possible consequences of quitting it of my own accord, but I didn’t listen. Sleep disturbance, sweating, lethargy, headaches, low mood, anxiety, and irritability are just a few of the possible symptoms...I just didn't want to worry you.” Jinyoung sighed in frustration, as he tightened the grip on Mark’s hand. His lover’s touch always provided him the strength he needed no matter the occasion.

“You don’t want me to worry? How can I not? Gosh, you’re sweating a lot!” Mark exclaimed as he had a better look at the writer and noticed spots of sweat on the younger’s pajamas. “Are you sure you don’t need to take something?” Now the American looked genuinely concerned.

“I don’t need anything, but you.” The author gave him a reassuring look. “Relax, it will pass.”

“We’re not supposed to hide stuff from each other anymore, especially things like this. Don’t do it again.” Mark warned him and the Korean nodded giving him an apologetic look. “Now I understand why you decided to take a shower instead of talking about the depression earlier.” The alarmed American gave him a reproving look.

“What did you want me to say? That I was here feeling sorry for myself while you were out there sacrificing yourself to aid trafficked people? Babe, no matter what I went through while you were away, it can’t even be compared to what you went through while working with Daisuke. All I did was cry and wait for you, and then cry a bit more. Damn, sometimes I feel ashamed to be so weak. You’re always so indestructible, and I’m always about to break.” The author confessed sheepishly. Mark gave him a ludicrous look.

“Since when this is a competition of who suffers more? You think you’re weak? Is that how you see yourself? That’s bullshit. Nyoungie, you’re not weak, and I’m not indestructible as you think I am. We are just different people, with different fears, and fortitude. I don’t think I would’ve endured the job I did for Daisuke’s organization for so long if I didn’t have the hope to see you again. If your sole existence provided me resilience during that time, I guess you’re much stronger than you think you are. Plus, you still haven’t seen me at my worst. I do hope you never have to. Most of the time I just don’t want you to see me vulnerable. I have my moments of frailty too, I just replace it by anger quite often, so I can look tough.” The American confessed as he delicately ran a hand through his boyfriend’s dark silky hair. Jinyoung marveled at how those long and thin fingers felt so tender against his scalp.

“You don’t have to pretend to be tough around me. You can simply be yourself, you know that.” Jinyoung declared and the older nodded. “You know what? Perhaps I was the one trying to look tough tonight. I was jealous as hell seeing that woman and that kid around you. Shit, I can’t believe I said all those things in front of our friends.” He snorted bitterly, as he recalled how he mindlessly acted hours ago at Spinning Top.

"Do you think your erratic behavior earlier could be part of the discontinuation symptoms? Maybe that's why you went off the rails tonight. I mean, you said that irritability is-"

"Perhaps. But I'll be fine, babe. My body just needs to get used to the lack of stimulus those pills used to supply it. It’s temporary. I shouldn’t be taking those drugs in the first place. I practically forced my doctor to prescribe me something, even though she said that therapy alone would help."

"Are you still doing therapy?" the older raised an eyebrow at him.

"No. Jaebeom made go to a couple of sessions, but I couldn't really talk about what was going on with me. It wasn't helping."

“Don’t you feel that you should go back? What if you relapse-”

“I won’t.” Jinyoung said firmly.

"Look, I have an idea of what you went through while I was away, but I haven't heard it directly from you. Come on, pretend that I am your therapist. Tell me the facts as if you were back to the past. Describe to me your state of mind of one year and seven months ago." Mark gave him an encouraging look. The younger took a deep breath and started.

"Okay doctor, the thing is, my boyfriend disappeared after cheating on me and stabbing my dear dongsaeng. I suspect that one of my great friends, my late sister's former fiancé, can be involved with his disappearance. A while ago, I was conspiring with this great friend of mine to avenge my dead sister, who supposedly became suicidal because of a certain American. This same American is my boyfriend now and I can't find him anywhere. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that my former brother-in-law finally got my boyfriend killed, but I would certainly be dead inside. Oh, there's more, I thought I had slept with my best friend, who was also my editor, but then I just found out that the same dongsaeng who had sex with my boyfriend, used to be in love with me, so in a drunken occasion he made it look like I had slept with his husband. lt turns out that the revenge fuck only took place because he wanted to get rid of my current boyfriend. I feel like killing my dear dongsaeng for destroying my relationship, and his marriage at the same time. Sometimes I wish he had died from his stab wound. My editor also abhors what his husband did, I know he still loves him though. He might even forgive him at some point, but I won't let them get back together. I can't allow them to be happy while I'm miserable. It’s sad but true. I can't recognize myself lately. This whole situation is unbearable. I can't even file a missing report since before my boyfriend took off to God knows where, he committed a crime. I can't stop looking for him, but I don't even know where to look. There’s no way I can know if he's still alive. I feel like giving up but I can't. I miss him dearly, I love him and I hate everyone else. I'm fucked up, my life really sucks at the moment and there's nothing I can do to change that. I can’t sleep or eat properly. It's horrible not to feel whole. I need the meds to forget I’m torn apart."

"That's a lot to tell a shrink." A flabbergasted Mark sighed deeply. 

"Yeah, she would probably contact the authorities. You would be a fugitive and Seunie would be taken for questioning. Anyways, that was me one year and seven months ago. I'm gonna be okay now." The author assured him, before giving him a peck on tip off his nose.

"What about your acid trips?" Mark frowned at him and cocked his head to the side.

"I just did it a couple of times. Felt like shit afterwards. I'm over it." The Korean said honestly.

"I know how this stuff can be addictive. Are you sure?" The American gave him a suspicious look.

"Absolutely. I just did it before because it was the only way I could see you when you were gone. Now I only have to open my eyes. You are my perfect drug." Jinyoung winked at him and licked his cheek playfully. Mark pushed him away slightly and wiped his cheek with the sleeve of his shirt, feigning annoyance.

"That’s gross.” He lied, and blushed. Then he changed the subject. “What about lunch at Jackson's this weekend? How do you feel about it?"

"Hopefully, the discontinuation symptoms will be gone by then. I’ll be a proper guest and you won't need to throw a martini at my face in order to make me stop acting like a jerk. I really don't wanna sabotage my relationship with my own friends. I’m positive that this second gathering can work." Jinyoung replied calmly.

"Promise me you won’t insult neither Jae nor Jackson?" Mark gave him a begging look.

"Listen, I don't want Jae dead anymore, on the contrary, I want him pretty much alive. I also hope that he and JB can mend their marriage. As for Jackson, I kinda feel that he is being genuine about a reconciliation. I want a new beginning for all of us too. Let's see how it goes."

"Okay…We haven't discussed Seungri's death yet." Mark said tentatively.

"Do we have to? I mean, I would have done it again if I had to. What Bambam said at the bar makes sense, but I honestly don't feel as bad as I thought I would. I mean, I still can't believe that I did it, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel guilty for my actions. Even though sometimes I close my eyes and remember all those shards of glass on that bloody floor and Seungri's body in the middle of it, I know it had to end like that. It was him, or us. I don't regret any of it." Jinyoung seemed to have reached that conclusion at last. He had pondered the Thai's words when he left the bar that night, and he ended up absolving himself. He didn't feel like a sinner at all. He believed that even God could forgive him for taking that man's life. He concluded that no god could judge him for preserving his own life, or his beloved's.

"Same here." Mark said in a serious tone. “But I think you should keep seeing that doctor. Just until you stop seeing these flashes of what happened at the hotel.”

“Maybe we could both see my doctor.” Jinyoung suggested carefully.

“Do you want me to accompany you?” The American looked taken aback as he blinked several times.

“Not that. You know what I mean. Don’t you?” The author gave him a long stare, until his boyfriend looked away and swiftly brought up a different topic.

"Why did Jackson call you Park Gae?" Mark inquired out of the blue. Jinyoung sighed and dropped the subject. If Mark was going to ignore his question, he wouldn’t be the one to pressure him into answering it. Bambam had warned the author that his friend abhorred the idea of having another person trying to get into his head. Jinyoung assumed that maybe it was too soon to discuss that issue with the older. He respected that.

"According to the Chinese Zodiac, we were born in the year of the dog." The Korean replied casually.

"Oh, I see. I guess you guys have more in common than I thought. On the other hand, I was born in the year of the rooster. I've heard roosters and dogs have zero compatibility." Mark gave him a fake worried look. He forgave the Korean for suggesting him to see a shrink seconds ago. He believed that there were things about who he was which his boyfriend would never be able to comprehend, and maybe it was better that way. The American could never trust a therapist with his headspace again and he couldn’t ever trust himself around one. Through his eyes, every mental health professional, was a repairer, a programmer, and a dangerous fixer who could only undo his humanity again. Mark intended to stay away from them for the rest of his life, and he didn’t think that anyone could ever convince him of the contrary.

"Well, there are always exceptions within the rules, especially horoscope rules. Look at us, we have a rooster-dog relationship with 100% of success." Jinyoung winked at his lover and smiled, fully displaying his eye whiskers to Mark.

"This smile of yours will be the death of me." Mark commented, extremely satisfied by the Korean’s reasoning. He felt his chest swell as he marveled at the younger's incessant beauty. "Come on. Let's go back upstairs. I'll read you a story till you fall asleep. I'd suggest the balcony, but it's too cold outside."

"Really? What are you going to read to me?" Jinyoung asked anxiously, as the older got up from the couch and extended his hand to him. His nausea was long gone, or perhaps it was still there, but he just couldn’t feel it anymore. The older always made everything feel all right. Jinyoung felt slightly dizzy, but he didn’t know if it was Mark’s effect on him, or the lack of medication.

" _Last Piece: Breath of love_. Is it any good? I didn't get a chance to read it yet." Mark gave him a tender look.

"What a shame. How can a muse be unaware of its power of inspiration? I've heard the author of this book kept thinking of you while writing the whole piece. Every single word in it was dedicated it to you." The Korean shook his head with fake disappointment, took his hand and stood up. The older scoffed.

"Is that so? I apologize for my ignorance. I’m just an uneducated American and obviously not the reading type, as you must’ve assumed by now. Nevertheless, I feel honored and flattered to know that a South Korean bestselling writer took notice of me. There must be a way I can thank Mr. Park Jinyoung for such a tribute. Do you have anything in mind, sir?" Mark batted his eyes at him comically and gave him a sexy pose while playing with the waistband of his pajamas. The younger could barely resist his seductive stare.

"You know what? I am the one who’s going to read it to you. If you dare to fall sleep, I am going to wake you up with my dick up your tight little ass.” Jinyoung whispered in the older’s ears lustfully, and Mark couldn’t help but flush furiously. “Let's go." Jinyoung grabbed him by the waist and both of them hurried upstairs for a ‘reading session.’

They were in a naughty mood when they got upstairs, and they kissed nonstop for a while. However, when Jinyoung reached for his book on the nightstand, Mark laid down his head on his chest and the latter started reading his last piece to him. Both of them started crying in the middle of it, while exchanging lovingly words and desperate touches. At that moment, their bodies were one universe, they were each other’s forever sunrise, and even if the world outside collapsed, they would rise over and over again like a beam of sunshine. After a while they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The couple woke up in the morning with a loud Yugyeom jumping on their bed.

"Why is it that every time we're trying to get some sleep, random people break into this apartment? Shit, he's moved out, and you haven't changed the password of your door, Nyoungie?" An annoyed Mark asked, still half-asleep. 

"It's just for safety measures. I left the stove on the other day. Bam saved my kitchen from catching fire." Jinyoung revealed tiredly, and the maknae waved the screen of his cell phone at them.

"Guys, you both hit the news on DISPATCH! Look at this article!" Yugyeom exclaimed as both Mark and Jinyoung froze on the spot.


	57. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The beginning is always today.”― Mary Shelley

The couple’s tense expressions only relaxed after the maknae read the title of the article.

  


"Actress Jeon So-Nee is the cause of fight between two of her latest suitors, the bestselling novelist Park Jinyoung and Mark Tuan Yi-en, the mysterious American-Taiwanese heir of One in a Million Games Inc." Yugyeom read the whole article out loud, while the couple sat up and listened to him attentively.

  


"Shit, they even know my name now and the name of my family's company in the US." Mark commented, but he didn't look too displeased. 

  


"It was just a matter of time, hyung. Journalists have sources everywhere." Yugyeom said thoughtfully.

  


"They got one thing wrong though. I'm no fucking heir. My parents disowned me a long time ago." Mark snorted.

  


"Well, it doesn't say anything about you being an escort or both of us being a couple of murderous gays, so that's a win." Jinyoung shrugged at his lover, who didn't disagree with him.

  


"Yeah. It could be worse, a lot worse." The American sighed in relief and laid back down on the bed.

  


"Are you guys for real? Jinyoung hyung, if your mom sees this, she's gonna flip." Yugyeom commented as he showed him a picture of his cousin's kiss with the actress and another with Mark grabbing at his arm separating the two.

  


"Just chill. My mom doesn't read this kind of gossip." The author waved the younger's concern away and cuddled against his boyfriend.

  


"What about you, Mark hyung? What if your parents come looking for you here?" The maknae asked with a frown.

  


"Hey, kid. My parents want nothing to do with me since the day I moved in with my uncle years ago. As soon as I started living in Downtown LA, I was not their son anymore. I was just 19 when it happened, and they never bothered to ask how I was doing. I'm already 28. They probably forgot I exist by now." Mark revealed without much emotion. Yugyeom swallowed and eyed the older with pity. Jinyoung just hugged Mark tighter.

  


"I'm sorry to hear that." The maknae lamented. 

  


"Don't be. I am not." Mark whispered and chuckled briefly before kicking Yugyeom from the bed. The younger lost his balance and fell on the floor. His cousin laughed at his misery.

  


"That's what you get for waking us up like this." The author reprimanded the youngster, who cursed under his breath as he got up from the floor.

  


"How's Bam?" Mark asked suddenly.

  


"In bed, with a huge hangover."

  


"The rascal didn't have the courage to show his face here after the shit he pulled yesterday, huh?" The American gave the maknae a knowing look.

  


"Well, he wasn't the only one causing a scene at the bar. Your boyfriend almost slapped our barback, remember?" Yugyeom gave him a sly smile and his cousin immediately threw a pillow at him.

  


"Don't mention that other Young-jae AKA Eric kid. You're gonna ruin my day." The author complained.

  


"Nyoungie, don't tell me you're still jealous of a child like him." Mark turned around to face his boyfriend.

  


"He's younger, brighter, cuter and according to Bam, he loves Americans. Give me a reason not to be jealous." The author whined.

  


"Well, in my opinion, you are brighter, cuter, and I love you." Mark stated firmly. Jinyoung gazed at him with pure delight. Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

  


"I love you too, babe." Jinyoung muttered and pulled his lover for a kiss. They started a make out session right in front of the maknae who complained at their constant PDA before running out of the room.

  


Hours later Bambam was faced with an angry looking American in his kitchen.

  


"Can I finish my coffee before you start yelling at me?" The Thai inquired, as he gave the older a defeated look.

  


"I'm not gonna yell at you. But I need you to promise me that you won't make things difficult to Jinyoung from now on. He’s going through stuff, and you ought to go easy on him." Mark said firmly as he took a seat beside his best friend.

"Deal." Bambam said quickly.

  


"You're not going to try to hook me up with random barbacks from now on, will you?" The American gave him a serious look. The younger didn't dare to defy him.

  


"No."

  


"You do understand that I am in a serious relationship with Jinyoung and that you're not supposed to interfere in our problems, right?" Mark raised an eyebrow at him.

  


"Of course." Bambam sighed.

  


"You'll be civil with everyone this weekend, won't you?" Mark continued.

  


"If it's that what you really want, I will." The Thai replied in a small voice.

  


"Why wouldn't I want that, Bam? I really don't mind if you're friends with Jack or if you hang out with Jae. They're Jinyoung's friends, and I want them to be part of our lives too. You don't have to defend me from the world anymore. This is no longer your mission. We're not in constant danger. We're not in our old Neighborhood. You're not Hara's underling and I'm not the Collector's property. We can be normal people. Right now I'm just an ordinary bartender who's dating a Korean author in a safe environment. You're Kunpimook Bhuwakul, Yugyeom's soulmate, one of the owners of Spinning Top, my best friend and neighbor whom I love very much." Mark told him and ruffled his hair. The younger grimaced.

  


"For the love of God, don't do that again. I'm having a major headache right now."

  


"You deserve it." Mark chuckled.

  


"I know." Bambam gave him an apologetic look and continued. "We're okay again, right?"

  


"Yes, we are." Mark assured him.

  


"I just had the impression that you didn't like the fact that Jack and I got closer." Bambam commented a bit uncertain.

  


"I guess I was jealous that Jia Er got to make you company while I was away. I feared that he might have stolen my best friend." Mark confessed a bit embarrassed. Bambam smirked at his friend's foolishness.

  


"No one can replace you in my heart, MT. Even if he's rich and hot as fuck like Jackson Wang." The younger winked at him.

  


"Shit, don't let Gyeom hear you talking like that. I innocently mentioned Jackson's chocolate eyes to Jinyoung once and he didn't react well." Mark giggled, as he stood up and poured some coffee to himself.

  


"Oh, Jinyoung knows Jack is a hunk. He's not blind. No one can deny the guy's good looks. I would feel threatened too if my boyfriend had a thing for someone like him in the past." Bambam commented casually.

  


"Oh, please. I never had a 'thing' for him as you put it. And he only chatted me up at 777 Ways because he had an agenda. Jack is not even gay." Mark frowned at his friend.

  


"It's not uncommon to feel attracted by a straight guy." Bambam gave him a knowing look. "I know you would've tapped that if you could back then."

  


"Bam, that's the kind of thing you're not supposed to mention when Jinyoung is present." Mark inhaled and squinted his eyes at him.

  


"Well, it's just you and me in my humble kitchen. We can talk about sexy guys without upsetting the delicate ears of our boyfriends, can't we?" The Thai shrugged and Mark relented. So the Thai continued. "You've told Jin how you kinda wanted to hook up with Jack back at 777 Ways, right?" Bambam asked curiously.

  


"Yeah, I did. But let's not bring up the past anymore. Forget this subject. Jinyoung is one hundred times more handsome than Jack, and I love him." Mark said with confidence.

  


"Don't be ridiculous. I also love Gyeom and I would never think of cheating on him or anything. But I can still admire other guys. There's nothing wrong about that."

  


"I don't know. I should be more careful from now on. Yesterday night So-nee and Eric managed to put Jin in a bad mood. I need to prove to my boyfriend that there's no reason for him to be jealous of me. I was an escort, but I'm not anymore. I don't want Jinyoung to get the wrong idea." Mark said as he chewed on his bottom lip.

  


"You don't really have to prove anything to him. He just has to have enough trust in you." The Thai corrected him.

"I fucked his dongsaeng while we were still together." Mark reminded the other. "I'm not that very trustable."

  


"How's Youngjae in bed by the way?" Bambam asked shamelessly.

  


"I can't believe you're asking me that."

  


"So?" Bambam insisted.

  


"He's not as innocent as he looks. That's all I'm gonna tell you." Mark scoffed and shook his head at him.

  


"Who topped?" The Thai asked abruptly.

  


"Bam, please stop." Mark gave him a pleading look.

  


"I promise I won't tell anyone. Come on! We always discussed this stuff before. I'm your bestie, remember?"

  


"I let him ride me. He's talented." The American said at once a bit awkwardly.

  


"Would you shag him again if you had an opportunity?" Bambam asked without ceremony.

  


"Fuck no. He's married and I do not have that kind of interest in him whatsoever. The sex between us was a huge mistake of both parts. He loves JB and I have a boyfriend who keeps me satisfied. "

  


"How big is Jinyoung?" The Thai blurted out. Mark decided to counterattack.

  


"How big is Gyeom?" He shot back.

  


"Well, it depends. When we're fucking in the shower-"

  


"Bam, that's enough. Don't say another word!" An appalled Mark cut him off quickly. "Were you really about to describe to me the size of your boyfriend's dick?"

  


"Too much information?" Bambam giggled. Mark gave him an embarrassed look.

  


"You are being indecorous, my friend."

  


"And you've become a prude since you started dating your grumpy writer." Bambam snickered.

  


"A prude? Do I have to remind you what I've been doing for a living recently?"

  


"Saving kids from human traffickers." Bambam stated in a serious tone.

  


"I was fucking celebrities while I was at it." Mark added.

  


"Any experience you would like to share?" Bambam eyed him suspiciously. 

  


"Not at all. They were all dull, nothing like the nights I spent with Nyoungie. All those bodies paled in comparison to my boyfriend's." Mark declared proudly, as he smiled widely.

  


"Damn, you're so ridiculously in love." The Thai rolled his eyes at him.

  


"Well, aren't you? Gyeom changed you for the better."

  


"How so?"

  


"You didn't go back to your old ways when I disappeared. He gives you stability. I like that in your relationship. You balance each other."

  


"I do love him and I couldn't leave him when he begged me to stay. But if I knew a way to get you back-"

  


"It's fine Bam. You and everyone else should stop thinking that I needed to be rescued. I really didn't, and I don't blame anyone for my decision to stay in Daisuke's organization for more than a year." Mark cut him off, trying his best to appease the younger.

  


"How is he like by the way?"

  


"Japanese." The American said without much enthusiasm.

  


"You can do better than that, Markie."

  


"Jack doesn't resemble Hara not even a bit, but Die, man, the first time I laid eyes on him I could tell they were related, but only physically. He's mostly quiet, but assertive at the same time."

  


"So, Kaoru. How was that fucker doing?" Bambam asked sourly.

  


"Totally fucked. Cancer consumed him." Mark replied. His eyes were distant, miles away from that kitchen. Bambam cleared his throat and decided that it was time to stop talking about the past.

  


"Are you coming to the bar with me today?" He questioned, in amore uplifting mood.

  


"Yeah. I'd like to go back to work as fast as possible."

  


"Oh, Sohn will be ecstatic." Bambam teased him.

  


"Bam, don't start." The American gave him a warning look.

  


"Okay, chill out. Why don't you help me choose what to wear for Jackson's Saturday lunch this weekend? Follow me." The animated Thai announced as he grabbed Mark by the arm and took him to his bedroom.

  


"Anything is fine, Bam. It's just a simple gathering between friends, not Milan fashion week." The older tried to reason with the younger.

  


"I still gotta look good. Come on, check this one here." Bambam said as he opened his huge closet in front of the American and showed him a pair of pants made of some shiny fabric. The older laughed at him.

  


"It's too much." Mark gave him a hopeless look and tried to suggest something more casual for him to wear. Bambam smiled at him contently and he finally realized that they were okay again. He was sure that now both his best friend and he could properly start their new beginning in South Korea like it was supposed to be.


	58. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Throughout this journey of life we meet many people along the way. Each one has a purpose in our life. No one we meet is ever a coincidence.” ― Mimi Novic

Saturday, noon, Jackson's house~

The 7 of them were all sitting at a large opulent table full of several varieties of food from different parts of the world. There were Thai, Korean, American and Cantonese delicacies in front of them. Jackson was supposed to make a speech, one he had rewritten dozens of time, and managed to memorize in a couple of minutes. However, not everyone was very fond of his solemn approach.

"Thank you all for coming here. You all know why I requested the presence of the six of you on this occasion. I'm immensely happy that each one of you-"

"Come on Seunnah, this is not one of Team Wang's meetings. Just go straight to the point. What’s the use of all this food if we only get to stare at it?" Jaebeom gave him a bored look, earning a sigh from the Chinese.

"Don't pressure him, JB. Just let him do his own thing." Youngjae whispered to his impatient husband. He was sitting beside the editor, and perhaps, feeling as anxious as the owner of the house. He also planned to say a few words to the Chinese's guests. The publicist nodded to the CEO indicating that he should go on. Jackson swallowed and continued.

"I made bad judgments and lots of mistakes after my fiancée passed away. I was blinded by grief, jealousy, and anger. I failed my friends and family. I did and said things which I greatly regret now. I sent Jin to America, I manipulated his actions, I put him in danger, and after I realized he had fallen for the same person Soo Young loved, I did all I could to separate them. And for that, I am sorry, Jin. I only knew how important Mark was in your life once he was gone." Jackson turned to the author, who simply gave him a tiny nod and looked away.

"You didn't separate us." Mark stated.

"Hey, don't stop him now. This is getting interesting." Bambam commented, and the Chinese took a deep breath. Despite the interruption, he resumed his speech.

"Mark, I’m sorry for causing so much disturbance in your life. You see, I’m a sore loser. I was hurt and bitter when Soo Young wanted to break our engagement, I was jealous of the way she spoke of you, I was insanely mad when she was gone, and I directed all my resentment and anger towards you. You lost 777 Ways, got kicked out of your old apartment, had to ran away from your Neighbourhood, had to face the likes of Stravos, and somehow you were coaxed to offer my brother your services at his anti-trafficking organization. I also know that I forced your hand when you attacked Jae. You may say that I didn’t separate you and Jin, but if I hadn’t convinced Youngjae to do what he did, this one year and seven months of silence wouldn’t have happened. I promise I won’t cause any sort of grief to you and Jin anymore. Accept my sincere apologies.” Jackson looked straight into the American’s eye. Mark nodded to him, and the Chinese nodded back. He turned to the youngsters among them and continued. “I do know that my meddling in Jinyoung and Mark's relationship also affected other people around them. Mark's absence also caused grief to his best friend Bam, and also to Gyeom, who had already gotten pretty attached to his Mark hyung at the time. So I also hope that the young ones can forgive me at some point." Jackson said as he eyed the maknaes at the end of the table.

"Since you're asking with such sincerity, how can we not forg-" Yugyeom was about to accept the Chinese's apology too quickly, but the Thai elbowed him lightly on the ribs in order to shut him up. Jackson dismissed the small interaction and continued.

"On a certain occasion, at Gyeom and Bam's housewarming to be more precise, I faked an apology in front of all of you, even though Mark could see through me the whole time and Jin wisely refused to believe my intention of making peace with his boyfriend. He was right not to trust me then. However, this time I don't have an agenda. I'm aware that my stupid revenge caused a huge strain in Jaebeom and Youngjae's marriage. Jae got hurt physically and emotionally. I can't even imagine the stress I caused JB after he learned that his husband, who had just cheated on him, was at a hospital bed, fighting for his life. I felt like I was the one who had stabbed Jae. I cowardly involved a dongsaeng, whom I've always respected and admired, in my own mess, even though I knew he was just confused about his feelings. I betrayed his trust and persuaded him to take my side. And when he came clean to you guys, I refrained from admitting my faults and let him take all the blame. That was shameful and uncalled for. So now I sincerely beg Youngjae and Jaebeom's forgiveness for being such a horrible friend. I am sorry. I'll try my best to make up for my mistakes. I just want to be friends with all of you again. " Jackson said with raw sincerity in his eyes.

"Apologies accepted!" Youngjae exclaimed, and then he turned to his husband expectantly.

"Jae and I have already discussed this issue at home. Before we came here I told him that if he accepted your apology, I would do the same. So, I don't see why I should change my mind now. We're good Seunnah." The editor declared honestly. "Once you give us a promotion at Team Wang and a pretty nice raise, we're gonna be just perfect." JB chuckled. Jackson smirked, as relief washed over him.

"I will think about it Jaebeom-shi." The Chinese joked in his CEO's tone.

"If Mark is okay with it, we don't have any reason not to accept his apologies, right Gyeom?" Bambam asked as he grinned at his ecstatic boyfriend and then glanced at his best friend across from him.

"It's cool." Mark nodded to the Thai, then addressed the Chinese. "I don't feel wronged by you at all, Jack. I don't regret the time I spent at your brother's organization. He is not like his Dad. I needed that kind of experience. It was like one Hara made me a perpetrator and the other freed me of all charges. I actually should thank Die for the opportunity." Mark declared without resentment in his voice. 

"So we're all friends now?" Yugyeom asked excitedly, as he searched the faces of his hyungs at the table for any sign of disagreement.

"Of course not." Mark said shortly. The maknae gulped and all the table focused on the oldest as he continued. "You'll be forgiven once you call your brother and try to get along with him." The American added as he raised an eyebrow at the Chinese, who seemed to consider his words for a few seconds.

"I guess that can be arranged." He gave him a tiny smile, and Mark gave him the thumbs up as a response.

"Can we celebrate now? Is there any other condition anyone else would like to voice?" Yugyeom asked animatedly, as if he had been containing his enthusiasm for too long. He furtively glanced at his quiet cousin.

"No, I think we’ve covered everything." Jinyoung said at last as he lifted his eyes to meet Jackson's. "I'm hungry Seunnah, can we put the formalities aside now and dig in? This food is gonna grow cold, you know. I definitely don't want your CEO's money to go to waste, Wang gae" The writer added as he gave him an almost playful look. As soon as the old nickname was uttered, the Chinese was sure that he was given a second chance. The way Jackson's expression brightened and the speed with which he walked to Jinyoung, yanked him from his seat and hugged him was quite kdrama-like.

"Jack, are you sure you're not gay? Man, you're really into skinship! Let go of him already." Bambam commented casually as he eyed the Chinese tighten his arms around the author, who uttered an exaggerated painful noise. Youngjae clapped his hands, Yugyeom whistled at them, and JB smiled till his eyes disappeared from his face. 

Mark just stared at them with a faraway look on his face. He wasn't jealous, nor sad, on the contrary, he was content to see the pair like that. He wondered what Soo Young would have said if she was there. He wished he could ask her forgiveness for tearing them apart once. He wished that just as that friendship was being fixed, her death could be fixed too. But that was the very unfixable mistake of all that story, and at the same time, the link which connected him to those Koreans and to the Chinese. He could see thing from a new perspective now.

It wasn't Jackson's revenge that sent Jinyoung to the U.S, it was Soo Young. And the fact that Mark himself left behind his Neighbourhood and the toxic environment he lived in to go to Korea, made him even more certain of Soo Young's influence in his life. Back in the US, if some fortune teller had told him that he would be where we he was that day, about to start a new life with a man like Jinyoung in another part of the world, he wouldn’t have believed them. He was sitting at that wondrous table with those six amazing people only because Soo Young made it happen. If Jackson didn’t try to avenge his fiancée, Mark would still be a prisoner of his past. If 777 Ways hadn’t caught fire, he would never get a chance to have Spinning Top. If the door of his old apartment at Downton LA wasn’t marked with graffiti, perhaps, he would have never left that Neighborhood. If Soo Young’s brother hadn’t taken him to Korea, Mark would have never met Hara’s other son. He wouldn’t have gotten involved in Daisuke's organization, and he would never have gotten a chance to do a kind of work which was bigger than himself. That South Korean student he met at college changed the course of his destiny. Their encounter couldn't be just a coincidence.

Mark concluded that, at the end of the day, Soo Young did save him, like she always wanted to do when she was alive. Indirectly, she was her saviour, the one who showed him the light at the end of the tunnel. That light was undoubtedly her brother. Jinyoung had proved to him that love could be found in the most unexpected places, in the most unbelievable manner, in the most random moments of one’s journey, and that it was never too late to love and be loved by someone else no matter how much inhuman one could have become. Mark knew that certain awful experiences in his life did influence on the type of person he turned into, but he was also confident that it was the type of people who surrounded him now that pushed him to be better. He didn’t feel lost any longer. He had ceased to be an insensitive nothing, he wasn't a cold machine anymore. He was undoubtedly and vigorously alive. The former China Doll had found a human existence for itself at last. 'It' became 'he', and doll became man.

"Babe, are you okay?" Jinyoung asked him quietly. His soothing voice brought him to the present time.

"Yeah, I'm good." Mark replied, as his eyes scanned the table again. Everybody was stuffing their faces with food and he couldn't help but chuckle.

Suddenly a timid Choi Youngjae stood up, making everyone pause their chewing and swallowing.

"I also would like to say a few words, if you don't mind." The publicist announced.

"Go ahead, Samchon." Jaebeom gave his husband an encouraging look. The others fixed their attention on the nervous publicist.

"I-I heard what Seunie just said and I can't help but feel that I should clarify some facts here. I might've been confused when he approached me and told me about the revenge, but he didn't force me to do what I did to Mark, Jinyoung and my own husband. I'm completely responsible for my acts, and I cannot let Seunie be the only villain in this story. I spent one year and seven months regretting my bad decisions. Now I just hope that all the people I've hurt can heal from the wounds I caused them, because mine is just a scar by now. Thank you for this opportunity to say sorry to all of you. I know that my reckless choices affected your lives in different levels, but I'm sure that from now on the seven of us will be able to move forward and leave all the remaining resentment behind. I propose a toast to our new beginning." Youngjae said and all the other six stood up to raise their glasses.

"To our new beginning." They all cheered and drank to brighter days.

“Why aren’t you drinking champagne like everyone else, hyung?” Yugyeom asked curiously as he looked at Mark. Jinyoung was about to give an excuse for his boyfriend and tell the maknae to stop bothering him, but the American’s response was faster.

“I’m HIV positive. I haven’t been in treatment for a while, and my viral load is higher than before. To make sure I don’t get sick, besides the new antiretroviral drugs I’m taking, I’m also on antibiotics. So no alcohol for me now.” The American blurted out. Shocked faces stared in his direction while his boyfriend grimaced beside him.

“Why did you stop your fucking treatment? Are you insane?!” Bambam demanded. The older gave him an apologetic look.

“You’re dating Jin, why would you do something like that? This kind of irresponsibility is dangerous for both of you.” Jackson shook his head disapproval.

“Hyung, are you gonna die?” Yugyeom looked completely devastated.

“No, Gyeom. I mean, yes, someday. Naturally, everybody’s gonna die, right? But, I’m not going to die from the HIV as long as I take my meds. It’s not like I have AIDS. There’s no reason for panic, okay?” The American tried to explain himself. He thought that since everyone was being so honest and forgiving that he shouldn’t keep that information from the ones who still didn’t know about his condition. 

“Wait, this is not a joke?” Jaebeom was about to lose his composure there.

“No, JB. It’s not a joke.” Jinyoung replied shortly. He had no idea why Mark decided to tell everyone about that. He could almost foresee trouble ahead.

“Mark, you’ve never mentioned this before, even when we...” Youngjae was appalled. The American was about to explain himself, but the editor spoke first, before he could even open his mouth.

"How long he’s been sick? How long do you guys know?" Jaebeom demanded in a grave voice as he eyed everyone with clear betrayal.

"I found out when he had just dropped out of college. Don't make that face, it's not the end of the world." Bambam said quickly. Yugyeom eyed him with astonishment. Jaebeom and Youngjae weren’t the only ones left in the dark all that time.

“Jackson told me as soon as I brought Mark to Korea.” The writer said frankly.

"That long! Oh my God, you started dating him even though you knew about it?" A horrified Jaebeom asked as he gave the author a disappointed look. Jinyoung just nodded to him.

“I only knew because Soo Young told me about it.” Jackson confessed.

"Seunnah, are you out of your mind?! You sent Jin after him in America and manipulated my husband into fucking him knowing that you were endangering both their lives?" The editor stood up from his seat and shook his head in despair.

"Calm down. I had Mark's medical records. He couldn't infect anyone at the time. By the way, I did instruct Jae to seduce Mark at some point, but I didn’t send Jin to America so he could sleep with him. He had one single mission. Things just got out of hand somehow." Jackson replied in a small voice full of regret. 

"And even if Mark could infect me, he was wearing a condom when we..." Youngjae's words trailed off. JB made a disgusted sound and everyone could tell he was angry. That topic would always embitter his mood.

"Condoms can break! Get up, we're gonna get tested right now." The editor stated as he gripped Youngjae by the arm. Jackson immediately pulled him away from the publicist. Jaebeom glared at the Chinese but didn’t pushed him away.

"Leave him alone, hyung. I recently got tested and I am fine. Jae is obviously fine too." Jinyoung tried to reason with the editor. He wished Mark had consulted him before making such a revelation in front of everyone. He wondered why someone always had to screw up the mood whenever the seven of them were together. He wondered if fate was against them. That new beginning didn’t look very promising now.

"I don't wanna hear this from you! If you want to wither away because of some incurable disease, go ahead! You are a hopeless case. God knows you never listen to what I say. If you hadn't gone to America, he wouldn't even be here. I'm done with your stubbornness. You wanna die in the name of love?! Go ahead and do it. But I'm not letting my husband be near this-"

"This what?!" Jinyoung cut him off sternly.

"I hope that you refrain to use any derogatory terms against my friend. Otherwise this lunch is not going to end up well." Bambam warned JB, playing with his fork. Yugyeom immediately made him put the silverware down.

"Jaebeom, I understand your concern. In a country that most people think that gay people don't exist in their midst and that whoever got HIV is a pariah, I do get why you're so upset. It's not your fault being so prejudiced, this kind of ignorance is part of your culture." Mark said in an unbothered tone.

"Don't talk shit about my country! How is your America better than South Korea? I know a couple of things about the land of the free! I know that you guys walk around with guns on the streets, kids shoot their classmates every day, police brutality is a routine, systemic racism is glaring, your government bombard, invade, and exploit other countries whenever they please and afterwards call them terrorists. By the way, is the US military in my country really because they want to defend us from the North or you because you guys have another agenda? You goddamn Americans act like you own the whole fucking world. Don’t come to my country and call me ignorant. What do you know?! Fuck you, man!" Jaebeom exploded.

"Shit, that's kinda accurate." Bambam muttered to himself. Mark gave him a dirty look, and the Thai quickly explained himself. "What? You're the one who started to criticize his country. My parents went to the US chasing the American dream, and guess what? They only found themselves a nightmare there. And so did I. Unfortunately, I do know what it is like to be a second-class citizen in the United States of America. Sorry buddy, I'm just not gonna take sides on this issue." The Thai shrugged. Mark scoffed.

"Guys, this is not a competition of which country or culture is worse or better than the other. Every nation has its bad and good features. Let's not go there. Please, can we just tackle the main problem here?" Jackson suggested.

"Which is?" Yugyeom asked a bit lost.

"That JB is still cranky because Jae and I fucked?" Mark asked in annoyance. Jinyoung patted his knee under the table in order to make the American cooperate.

"He's just afraid for his husband and his best friend well-being that's all." Youngjae stated in a reconciliatory tone. "He didn't mean to offend you, Mark."

"It takes a lot more for someone to truly offend me, Jae." The American huffed, and then added. "By the way, I'm sorry for not telling you."

"Maybe if you had, he would have backed out from being part of that stupid revenge. He would be afraid to get in bed with you, and you wouldn't have fallen in a trap. Have you ever thought of that?" Bambam sounded pensive as he cocked his head to the side. Mark squinted his eyes at him. Sometimes he wished that his best friend would just shut up.

"Jaebeom hyung, you are entitled to want to make sure that you and your husband are both HIV negative. Do it, if it's going to put your mind at ease. But you don't have to go get tested right now. Can you let Youngjae hyung finish his food first?" Yugyeom gave the editor a pleading look.

"JB, remember what this gathering is about. A new beginning." Jackson said tentatively.

"Right, our new beginning with an LA gangster. We have definitely lowered our friendship standards." Jaebeom said harshly. Mark stood up abruptly and exhaled.

"I'm gonna get some air." He stated as he walked towards Jackson's veranda.

"You idiot." Bambam shoot daggers at the editor. Yet, deep down he was mad because his best friend didn't tell him that his health wasn't as good as it was a year ago.

“You didn’t have to be so harsh.” Youngjae scolded his husband. Jaebeom defended himself.

"What?! Aren’t you even a little afraid? Mark just said he's able to infect other people now. He's taking antibiotics to prevent his body to get even sicker-"

"Why should Jae be afraid?! Are you deaf or something? Mark wasn’t detectable when your husband lured him to his bedroom, plus he even wore a condom! Actually, you fucking saw it yourself. Mark showed the fucking condom to you after he was done with Jae, remember? I was there too. I’ll never forget that unfortunate sight. Will you please calm down and stop being paranoid? Even though Mark’s viral load is detectable at the moment, he's back on his meds. The treatment will respond at some point. He and I are being careful. We know the risks and we're dealing with them. Now no one is going to contract HIV for being around him, or sharing a table with him, or talking to him, or shaking his hand, or giving him a hug, or breathing the same air as him. Don't be ridiculous." Jinyoung crossed his arms and stood up from the table to go after his boyfriend. However, as soon as he turned away from the others, he saw the American awkwardly walking back in their direction accompanied by two unexpected guests.

“Mother?” The author was flabbergasted, as he observed Mrs. Park and Bo Young approach the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets better, I promise...^^'


	59. The Gathering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Time and time again, we reconnect. It's like the universe nudges us to give it one more chance.”  
> ― Nikki rowe

Jinyoung wondered if he should start praying more. He was a Christian, yet he hadn’t been inside a church for years, and he couldn’t remember the last time he opened a bible. He remembered praying to God when Mark was missing, he also remembered thanking him when the American returned. He felt blessed for having his lover back in his life, and he was sure that the Creator hadn’t abandoned him. He was enormously thankful for the fact that the discontinuation symptoms were gone, that he was able to sleep again, and there was another reason to celebrate. In a couple of days, PrEP would allow him to have sex with his boyfriend without a latex barrier separating them. He was anxious for that, not just because the sex felt more intimate, but because he knew that after his complete seven days on PrEP, Mark would feel more at ease to make love to him knowing that he wouldn’t be able to infect him. Of course Jinyoung would have to keep taking his Truvada daily now that Mark was detectable, but he didn’t really mind that. He had done it before, and he was sure he could keep doing that for the rest of his life.

That gathering at Jackson’s house was really going well, with everyone sharing their hopes, apologies and forgiveness. The seven of them seemed to have reached an understanding after a couple of utterly emotional speeches and a warm brotherly hug. However, now Jinyoung asked himself if he still had any debt with the Almighty. The writer couldn’t help but think that God was mad at him for some unknown reason. He imagined that it couldn’t be because he killed a man to save his and his boyfriend’s life. If he still knew something about God was that he was merciful and understanding. So He wouldn’t turn his back on him, would he? Jinyoung felt like he was about to. He couldn’t understand why God was punishing him so severely at that very moment. What the hell was his mother doing in that house? Why the hell his own best friend was acting like an illiterate prejudicial jerk? Why the hell Mark had to disclose such a delicate information to everyone at that table? How could a couple of wrong words and two unwanted guests rob them of their peace so fast? The author was still trying to figure out how his luck had changed so abruptly when Mark’s foreign tone reached his ears.

“They, uh, I found them back there.” The clearly uncomfortable American pointed to the veranda and chewed on his lips. “Your mom wants to talk to us. She saw the article.” Mark said uneasily.

“No way! Does auntie usually read Dispatch news?” A shocked Yugyeom said, as he quickly stood up to greet Mrs. Park. She hugged the maknae and patted his head lovingly.

“Bo Young showed it to me. She told me you all would be here, so I had to come.” She replied to the maknae and then added, “I guess you’ve grown even taller since the last time I saw you, dear.” Mrs. Park commented with a chuckle. Jackson, Jaebeom, Bambam and Youngjae promptly left their seats to also greet the guests. Jinyoung was frozen on the spot. He wondered what was his sister’s intention now. Was she there to cause him trouble the same way she did at Nora’s party? He couldn’t tell.

“Bo Young, where are the girls? I thought you would be out the whole day with them and omoni.” Jackson looked a bit disconcerted. He didn’t want his guests to think that he had prepared a trap for Mark and Jinyoung.

“The girls are with their father for the weekend. I couldn’t stop my mother from coming here, you know how she’s like.” Bo Young said, giving him an apologetic look.

“So you were trying to get rid of us?” Mrs. Park raised an eyebrow at him playfully.

“No, never.” Jackson gulped and forced himself to smile naturally. “Are you hungry? Let me make you a plate.” The Chinese was about to hurry to the kitchen to get more plates, but his girlfriend stopped him.

“Don’t worry about that. We’re not staying. We have to go shopping soon.” Bo Young assured him.

“What exactly are you two doing here then?” Jinyoung’s suspicious eyes travelled from Jackson to his sister, and then finally fell on his mother. “If this is about the article, I have nothing to do with that actress.”

“She knows that, Jin. It seems she knows about us too.” Mark said nervously and kept biting his lips. If he sunk his teeth further on the fragile skin, it would soon start to bleed. The Korean wished his lover would stop abusing his own lip like, but he just eyed him in disbelief, still unable to grasp the situation and decelerate his heartbeats.

“Oh, isn’t his Korean just marvellous?! I can’t stop admiring it. Where did you learn our language so well?” Mrs. Park complimented Mark and gave him a sweet smile.

“J-Jin, he’s a g-good teacher.” Mark replied timidly. Bambam was giggling from the table. He didn’t think he would ever see the day that a harmless, nice old lady would make his best friend stutter.

Bambam had already met Jinyoung’s mother. Yugyeom had introduced his aunt to him a year ago. She often stopped by his and Yugyeom’s apartment since the day Jinyoung’s place almost burned down because he had left his stove on. Bambam was the one who heard the fire alarm first, and he and Yugyeom were the ones who barged into the apartment with a fire extinguisher, saving the author’s kitchen and Jinyoung himself. The writer had left a teakettle unattended on the stove, and he had taken too many sleeping pills to care. Mrs. Park was grateful to her nephew and his boyfriend for looking after her son. Back then, the author was a mess trying to finish his last piece, and he refused to see anyone, even his own mother. Since Yugyeom had the password of the writer’s front door, he was always able to check on him, even when Jinyoung was unaware of his presence in there. Bambam had heard from Yugyeom that a major part of his family didn’t accept his sexual orientation, and that his aunt was also quite prejudiced, but since the fire alarm event, she had grown closer to him, and she often complimented her nephew for finding a partner like the Thai. Bambam’s sassiness quickly grew on her.

“Look at you, complimenting your boyfriend!” Mrs. Park teased the embarrassed American. Jinyoung gave his sister a death glare. He couldn’t believe what was happening before him. He had no idea Bo Young would dare to out him to their mother so carelessly.

“Don’t look at me like that! I was on my phone checking the news and she sneaked up on me. She was so angry that she wanted me to take her to So-nee’s agency and give that actress a piece of her mind. Mom is aware of how that woman can be a scandal magnet, so she wanted to tell her to stay away from her son. Therefore, I was forced to reveal to our relentless mother that the only couple in that picture was you and Mark, and whoever wrote that article had gotten it all wrong.” Bo Young explained herself at once, and smirked. “Surprisingly, she was quite relieved to hear the truth.”

“How could I not? Such a handsome man, heir of one of the top 10 game development companies in America. I’m impressed, my son.” Mrs. Park gave her son the thumbs up. The writer was agape, and obviously flabbergasted when she linked her arm with the American and smiled widely. “Mark, I’m eager to meet your family soon. I know it’s a bit complicated since they live abroad, but I’m sure they can find time-”

“Mother, will you please slow down?! Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you years ago...” The astonished author could barely register the fact that his mother was not even a little bothered about the fact that he was gay. The others were quite amused by the scene. Jinyoung had never seen Mark looking so cornered before. He was relieved to notice that his sister apparently didn’t tell their mother about Soo Young’s past with the American, nor about his former ‘occupation.’

“I’ve always known.” She said softly, almost guessing why her son seemed so shocked. “But you will be the one to tell your father. You can do that at your own time, of course, but you should do it.” Mrs. Park walked to her son and landed a brief kiss on his cheek. She tenderly stroked the side of his face for a while as she examined his features. Her hand was so warm and soothing that Jinyoung almost felt like crying. He couldn’t remember the last time he had let her come so close to him. “Come visit us, will you? Bring Mark too. I’m glad to see you around your friends again. Your eyes are not empty like before. I can see light in them again. If you are happy, I am equally happy, my son. That’s enough for me.” She smiled kindly at him. Jinyoung felt a lump in his throat, as his mother casually turned around and said goodbye to the others. He was too overwhelmed to have any reaction. He saw Jackson and his sister share a quite intimate kiss, before she waved at him and started to walk away with their mother.

“Wait!”

Jinyoung wished he was the one who had kept them from leaving so soon. He wanted to thank his mom for those comforting words, he wanted to tell Bo Young that he wasn’t against her relationship with Jackson anymore, but he himself couldn’t move from the spot he was yet. It was his boyfriend who ran in his mother’s direction. Suddenly Jinyoung felt like stopping him. Was Mark about to tell his mother that he wasn’t the rich heir she thought he was? The author wished his boyfriend refrained from being so honest that day. Some truths were better left unsaid. The writer was almost sure that Mark was about to reveal something that could ruin that magical moment as the older approached his mother already at the front door. He didn’t dare to beg his boyfriend to pretend to be someone who he wasn’t, not even if it was just to get on his mom’s good side. He didn’t want Mark to think that he was ashamed of his past, or of his HIV status. Whatever the American chose to do or declare, he would support him all the way. Therefore, he sat back on his chair, focused his attention on the others and waited for the disaster to develop itself. He could still hear the American’s voice from where he was siting, and suddenly he felt like covering both his ears with his hands. However, his curiosity took the best of him.

“Look, Mrs. Park, you seem to be a very nice mom, but you need to know that I’m not-”

The American was talking hurriedly, but miraculously, Jaebeom was fast enough to stop him. Jinyoung wondered for a second if his best friend was about to save the day or bring forth the doomsday. He was not shocked to find out that the editor didn’t let him down.

“He’s not sure if his parents can come to Korea so soon. They have a large company to run, and the Tuans can’t afford to leave the country now. OMG Inc. is quite busy these days.” The editor hurried to say, as he put an arm on Mark’s shoulder and squeezed it, silently warning the older to keep his mouth shut.

“Oh, I’m a patient woman. Whenever they are able to stop by Seoul, let me know then.” She ruffled the American’s hair, gave JB a hug and finally left the house with her daughter.

“Damn, what were you going to tell her?” The editor sighed, as he frowned at the older, who shrugged.

“Perhaps that her son is dating an LA gangster?” Mark sneered at him, and removed Jaebeom’s hand from his shoulder. He wasn’t really mad at the editor for what he said earlier, but he wanted the Korean to think that he was. He didn’t mind torturing him a bit, even though he was starting to grow fond of that one. The way JB ran to stop him from saying anything stupid to Mrs. Park, proved that the editor still wanted him in Jinyoung’s life. The way Jaebeom fearlessly put a hand on his shoulder seconds ago also made him realize that perhaps the editor wasn’t so terrified of being near an HIV positive person as he thought he was.

“Listen man, I’m sorry-”

“Nah, I like the nickname. It’s kinda cool. It’s so me.” The American cut him off and chuckled. “I know why you freaked out, but don’t worry about Jae. I didn’t give him anything. He’s fine, and you are fine too, unless you and him have been fooling around with other people without protection. Have you? I cannot guarantee your safety if you have. Anyways, I’ve heard that married couples have a very boring sex life. Who would blame you if you did try to find something else out there? Have you guys ever considered being swingers? There are a lot of possibilities to spice up a dull married life. I had the chance to explore some really cool clubs here in Seoul. I can recommend you some. It’s a whole new experience every day.” Mark smirked at him. JB was agape before he realized the older was joking. When Mark started laughing at his expression, he just snorted and slapped his arm playfully.

“You nasty asshole. You’re indeed Bambam’s best friend, you guys have no filter.” Jaebeom shook his head at him in amusement.

“Do you really think I act like I own the whole fucking world?” Mark cocked his head to the side.

“Not all Americans are the same.” The editor stated. “The things I said…I was just venting, I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”

“You love Youngjae, I get that. Jinyoung is your best friend and it’s obvious that you fear for his safety-”

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to Jin. Ever. Don’t let me change my mind about that. Be careful. Take care of him. Take care of yourself. Look after each other. You deserve to be happy. I wanna see you both happy. My marriage survived, Jae is alive. You came back to Jin in one piece, so I forgive you.” Jaebeom said in a heartfelt tone. The American was rendered speechless. For some reason he felt his eyes water.

“Hey, is everything all right in here?” Jackson appeared behind them. The American quickly regained his composure.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Mark replied with a grin as he wrapped an arm around the Korean’s shoulder. The editor didn’t even flinch, he just gave the Chinese a reassuring smile.

“I thought you guys were still debating which country sucks more than the other.” Jackson snorted and turned to Mark. “So, what do you think of your future mother-in-law?”

“Not like I imagined.” Mark replied without thinking.

“So you really plan to marry Jin?” Jaebeom smirked.

“What?!” The American exclaimed, as he swiftly removed his arm from JB’s shoulder.

“You just admitted that Mrs. Park is your future mother-in-law.” Jackson grinned.

“I guess Jinyoung is still in a state of shock, but I guess we can make him lose up a bit with a couple of drinks.” Jackson suggested. “Let’s go back to the table.”

“Promise me you’re not gonna get him drunk just to place him naked beside me on a bed?” Jaebeom teased and made a face at the Chinese. His tone was far from serious. He wanted Jackson to know that he didn’t resent him at that moment, and now that they were ready to let bygones be bygones, they could even joke about that dreary event which happened more than a year ago.

“I promise.” The Chinese answered with a sigh.

“Geez, I hope I don’t have to see that ever again.” Mark commented, making a nauseated expression at them.

“Don’t tell me you weren’t even a little tempted to join us in that bed.” Jaebeom smirked at the older and moved his eyebrows up and down in a comical manner.

“Did you happen to feel tempted to join Jae and I when you saw us in action?” The American asked as he frowned at the editor.

“I felt tempted to break every bone in your skinny body. Lucky you Jin was there to stop me.” The editor took a deep breath and continued. “Let’s just not mention that shitty day again.” Jaebeom said in a serious tone and walked back to the living room. Jackson and Mark exchanged a brief look and followed the editor.

When the three returned to the table, the dishes were apparently forgotten. Bambam, Yugyeom, And Youngjae were totally focused on the jenga set before them. Jinyoung just watched them play with a faraway look on his face. When the writer looked up and saw the relaxed expressions on the faces of his best friend, his former brother in law and his boyfriend, he knew they would be all right. He had certainly heard a few words exchanged between that trio and he was aware that there was no need to address JB’s fleeting episode of blatant obtuseness regarding the HIV issue, nor Mark’s careless remarks regarding the Korean culture anymore. The author felt relief wash over him. The fact that his mother and sister left that house without causing a fuss, but bringing them one more reason to celebrate, filled him with hope. Jinyoung was thrilled by his mother’s reaction earlier, even though it took him a while to really believe what was going on. He didn’t think she would accept his sexual orientation so well. Now Mrs. Park knew he was gay, she had just met the man he was dating, and all she had read about the American’s background on that silly _Dispatch_ ’s article, ironically, put Mark in a good light. His mom immediately adored his boyfriend. The author knew she took a liking to him for the wrong reasons, but at that moment, he didn’t care. Jinyoung wondered if he should say a silent little prayer right there.

“Hey Bam, why did you start playing without us? You really don’t have any respect for your hyungs, do you?” Jackson asked, feigning offense. The way the Chinese casually talked to the Thai made Mark realize that those two had indeed gotten closer while he wasn’t around. He didn’t mind that at all, he wanted Bambam to have other friends too. He took his seat beside his boyfriend again, took his hands in his and smiled at him. A delighted Jinyoung gave the older a chaste kiss on the cheek as a response. It was so brief that nobody in the room even noticed. The writer whispered to Mark that he loved him, and the older did the same. The couple noticed Jaebeom and Youngjae also murmuring softly to each other and then hugging. They didn’t look like they were about to leave that house in a hurry to find some clinic and go get tested. Although JB made a scene earlier, Jinyoung assumed that the editor only lost his temper because Mark hadn’t told Youngjae that he was HIV positive before he had slept with him a year ago. Jaebeom looked calmer now. Gladly, the disclosure of Mark’s HIV status, didn’t seem to have disrupted the husbands’ harmony.

“This ‘hyung’ thing will never work with me, you know that. Plus, I’m not really into board games. They are boring, and I always lose. Since you guys are here, we could play dare beer pong. At least it’s funnier.” Bambam suggested as he scanned the faces of the other six.

“No drinking games.” Yugyeom reminded him. “Mark hyung will feel left out being around a bunch of drunk people and at the same time being unable to drink.

“Well, that’s his fault. Not ours.” Bambam stated coldly. The American left Jinyoung’s side to quickly remediate the situation.

“You obviously have something to say to me, Bam. Go ahead, let it all out.” Mark crossed his arms and approached his best friend’s seat. Bambam stood up and faced him. The others suddenly focused on the two of them. Yugyeom was already thinking of a way to pour oil on troubled waters.

“Very well. As a matter of fact, I do. I want you to fucking promise me that you won’t stop your freakin’ treatment ever again. No matter what.” The Thai spoke in a strict tone.

“I promise, okay? Just don’t give me that attitude right now, please. It’s a new beginning for all of us, a friendly and healthy one.” Mark gave him a pleading look. He obviously didn’t want his best friend to be mad at him because of that issue. He just wished that all the small conflicts and constant arguments had an end right there.

“Are you and JB okay?” Bambam furrowed his brows.

“Yeah!” Both the American and Jaebeom replied at the same time.

“Are you and Jackson okay?” The Thai studied his features closely.

“Yes, we are.” Mark stated and turned to the Chinese. “Aren’t we, Jack?” The CEO quickly nodded in confirmation.

“Are you and Youngjae okay?”

“Of course!” The publicist exclaimed from his seat.

“You heard him. Plus, I wouldn’t have given him Coco if we were still in bad terms with each other.” Mark added.

“All right. Since we’re all good, I’ll be nice. Got it.” Bambam said quickly and suddenly his energetic mood returned. Mark sighed in relied as he watched his best friend suggest a supposedly bonding indoor activity between friends. “Let’s play ‘paranoia person’ then. But instead of using alcohol, we’re gonna use Jack’s special morning smoothie.”

“Jackson’s special smoothie?” A confused Mark cocked his head to the side while the others started to protest and make disgusted faces. It seemed that everyone knew what the Thai was talking about.

“Jesus Christ, don’t ask.” Jaebeom looked apparently repulsed by the simple thought of it.

“It’s just a mix of grapes, apples, oranges, broccolis, bananas, and the most special ingredient, chicken breasts. It sounds quite nutritious, but it tastes awful.” The maknae cringed.

“I wouldn’t drink that even if it was the last beverage left in the world.” Jinyoung shook his head in dismal.

“Tell me about it. That’s worse than any drink I have ever put in my mouth. The very smell of it, and that greenish colour can make anyone puke. Hyung has quite an unusual taste.” Youngjae commented, making a face at the Chinese.

“I get it. Everybody hates my smoothie. What’s ‘paranoia person’ by the way?” Jackson inquired the other two foreigners. Bambam then tried to explain to everyone how the game worked.

“It’s a quite simple game. Everyone here will sit in a circle. Players have to whisper a ‘who’ question into the ear of the person on their right. The person answering the question must say their answer out loud, even though none of the other participants know the question to it. By the way, the answer to any of the questions has to be the name of a person in the room, and the person answering the question has to point at their answer. If one of the players can't take the suspense and are curious to know why someone is pointing at you and uttering your name, this player must drink Jack’s special smoothie. Oh, and there’s also an important detail to this game. Drinking the smoothie won’t guarantee you the information you seek. The flipping of a coin shall decide whether or not the question will be revealed in front of the group. The question will be only revealed if the coin lands on heads.” The Thai finished his explanation with a large grin on his lips. “So, who’s up to it?”

“Doesn’t sound too bad. Kind of harmless in my opinion. I guess it’s everything we need at the moment. As long as you’re not nosy and ignore people saying your name out loud and pointing at you, I guess no one will ever get a sip of my magnificent smoothie. Let’s play one round and hope that no one falls sleep in the middle of it.” Jackson announced without much eagerness. He usually enjoyed more dynamic games, but since he didn’t want anything to go wrong on that occasion, he settled for it. All the others agreed to play, and they moved to the Chinese’s huge living room so they could sit more comfortably on the floor. It only took Jackson a few minutes to go to the kitchen and prepare his dreadful smoothie. When he joined them again, he brought with him his most treasured beverage in a jar and a coin. The others eyed the drink as if it was the worst penalty that could ever exist in a game. They rearranged the circle. Couples were forbidden to sit beside each other, just to make sure the questions wouldn’t be so boring. They decided that since Mark was the oldest, he should be the first to answer a question, and since Jackson was beside him, he should be the one asking the question.

“Seunnah, be careful with the question, will you? Mark tends to be too straightforward.” Jaebeom warned his boss.

“I’ll start with a question which has an obvious answer, don’t worry.” Jackson assured him.


	60. Masterpiece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”. – Emily Bronte

“Come on, make it spicy!” Bambam cheered, chugging his seventh beer.

“Bam, behave.” Yugyeom rolled his eyes at the Thai, who simple stuck his tongue out at him.

“We’ll never know if it’s spicy or not if we don’t drink the smoothie.” Youngjae commented with a shrug.

“It’s indeed a weird game. Not very challenging.” Jinyoung said as he crossed his arms. The author sat in a quite elegant pose as he teased his lover across from him.

“Believe me, it’s not that dull. You'll be surprised by how interesting it can get.” Mark smirked at him and turned to the foreigner by his side. “Come on, Jack, give me a question.” Before Jackson could reach for the American’s ear, a little bit drunk Bambam pulled the Chinese closer and whispered something to him. The CEO frowned at the Thai, but nodded to him.

“Hey, Bam. You’re disrupting the order of things. Jack is the one who asks Mark, then Mark asks you, then you ask Jae, who asks Yugyeom, who asks Jinyoung, who asks me, and I ask Jack.” The editor said in an impatient tone.

“Relax, I was just giving him some ideas of what to ask.” The Thai giggled. Jaebeom shook his head at him, almost guessing that the Thai had something dirty in mind.

“All right, let’s focus on this game. Here I go! Are you ready, Mark?” Jackson announced suddenly and before the older could reply, he brought Mark closer to him to deliver his question in his ear. When he was done, Mark promptly pointed to five people in the circle, while saying everybody’s name out loud, except Jackson’s. The Chinese was surprised and muttered something in Mandarin, which no one in the room could grasp but the American. Mark chuckled and gave him a suggestive look.

“We can change that right here, and right now. You didn’t even give me a chance years ago at 777 Ways, you could do it now, as a friendly gesture. I’m sure Jin wouldn’t mind.” Mark said in a mix of English, Korean, and Mandarin. He winked at Jackson playfully.

“Oh, God. I hate when they mix multiple languages. That’s so not fair.” Youngjae sighed.

“I like it. It’s hilarious.” Bambam cackled with laughter.

“Mark said all our names, except Jackson hyung’s. Maybe the question was, ‘who are the guys in the room who can’t speak Mandarin’.” Yugyeom suggested thoughtfully.

“I’m really not interested in the answer.” Jinyoung said nonchalantly. “Whatever it is, I can ask my boyfriend later.”

“And you won’t ever get an answer.” Mark gave him a sly smile. “Unless you drink the special smoothie now and then flip the coin.” The American added wickedly, and the author gave him a defeated look.

“Okay. You won.” The author sighed and reached for the jar. He only took a sip of it, but he already felt like vomiting. Jinyoung knew that if he was unable to keep it in, his attempt to find out what Jackson had asked Mark would fail. So he swallowed the smoothie from hell pretty quickly. The others cheered him on, clearly surprised by his courage. The coin was flipped and it landed on heads. He proudly eyed his boyfriend and demanded his prize. “I accepted your challenge, and went through the smoothie ordeal. Now the question must be revealed.”

“I asked him who here he had kissed before. I assumed Jin and Jae would be the only ones.” The Chinese declared a bit uneasily. Shocked faces stared at him. “Believe me, it was better than Bam’s suggestion. He wanted me to ask Mark who was the best in bed.”

“That’s ridiculous. How could he ever know that? He didn’t even sleep with all of us.” Jaebeom exhaled.

“Wait! Mark hyung pointed to all of us as answers, except Jackson hyung. I’ve heard he kissed JB in my cousin’s office, I obviously know he kisses my cousin, ‘coz they do it all the time. We all know that he did more than kiss Youngjae hyung. But he pointed at my boyfriend as well. Hyung, that means you kissed your best friend too?” Yugyeom was quite disappointed, as he stared at the American. Jinyoung was agape. Youngjae gasped. Bambam had a big frown on this face.

“That was a long time ago. Before he met you. No need to look so startled.” Mark assured the maknae.

“Kim Yugyeom, I’m the one who should be perplexed here. When did you kiss MY best friend?” Bambam demanded in an authoritative tone. Yugyeom gulped. Jaebeom inhaled, truly hoping that a fight could be avoided. Jackson tensed, and Youngjae observed the couple with apprehension.

“Relax, Bam. It was back at the hotel when he spent the night at my room. Seungri knew I had brought someone to there and I had to pretend that Gyeom was a customer.” Mark clarified the facts at once.

“So, you kissed my cousin?” Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “You didn’t tell me about that. Or Bam.”

“Jin-”

“You should know by now that Mark is quite good at keeping secrets. I just didn’t know that my own boyfriend was good at it too.” Bambam cut off his best friend and shook his head in disbelief.

“Bam, it was not a big deal, that’s why I didn’t tell you.” The maknae took a deep breath and glanced at his cousin. “Hyung, it was just a peck. He was Malik at the time. He was playing a role, remember?” Yugyeom started.

“I know. I’m not mad. And you shouldn’t be either, Bam.” Jinyoung said honestly, and the Thai unwillingly nodded. He wasn’t genuinely bothered by that information, he just didn’t want to find out about it that way.

“I can forgive both of you if Mark asks me a super juicy question.” Bambam stated with a mischievous smile on his face. Everyone could tell he was back to his animated self again.

“Okay, ready or not. Here I come.” The American pulled his best friend to him and whispered his question to him. The Thai giggled in response as soon as he heard it. Then he pointed to Jackson, said the Chinese’s name and winked at him. The CEO furrowed his eyebrows, but it was Yugyeom who quickly grabbed the jar and drank some of its content. Then he hurriedly flipped the coin, and groaned in despair as he saw it landed on tails. That meant neither Mark nor Bambam would reveal what was the question whispered in his boyfriend’s ear.

“Sorry about that, kid. More luck next time.” Youngjae comforted the maknae next to him and turned to the Thai. “Come on, Bam, give me a question.” Bambam did what he was told and as soon as he was done Youngjae blushed and pointed to Bambam himself, saying his name out loud. Jaebeom had to know what Bambam had said to make his husband flush like that. So, he took a sip of the smoothie, flipped the coin, and luckily got to hear the question which was asked.

“He asked me ‘ _Who is most likely to have a collection of sex toys’_. It was obvious that the first name that came to my mind was his.” Youngjae revealed, and everybody laughed, including Bambam himself.

“Oh, my God, Jae hyung. You’re absolutely right. Can’t make him stop buying that stuff.” Yugyeom commented, with a smirk on his face.

“We both know you love them.” Bambam blew him a kiss, and the maknae blew him another. The others laughed harder.

It was Youngjae’s turn to whisper a question to the maknae, and the publicist promptly pulled Yugyeom to him in order to deliver his question. Yugyeom smiled and pointed to Mark, his cousin, himself and Bambam saying their names out loud. Neither Bambam, nor Jinyoung, nor the American dared to go near the smoothie jar, so Youngjae’s question wasn’t revealed, and they moved on. Yugyeom then whispered in his cousin’s ear. Jinyoung beamed and pointed to his lover, also saying his name out loud. The maknae looked surprised with his cousin’s answer, but no one seemed to be interested in the question itself. So the Chinese tried to convince Mark to taste his amazing recipe.

“Come on man, aren’t you even curious? Jin drank the smoothie in the very beginning of the game in order to learn something about you. Maybe you should do the same and have a sip.” Jackson encouraged the American to drink the smoothie, but he only saw resistance in the American’s eyes.

“Nah, I can fuck this information out of him later.” Mark smirked. The others giggled. Jinyoung blushed, but shot back.

“If you don’t drink this smoothie, you won’t be fucking anything out of me for a whole week.” The author threatened, and the others cheered. Jinyoung grinned when he saw Mark hurriedly bring the jar to his lips and take a long sip from it. The American grimaced, but still flipped the coin and got heads.

“Very well, babe. Gyeom asked me ‘ _who_ _is most likely to write love letters to their crush_?’. As far as I know you wrote me one, remember? You’re more romantic than you would like to admit. And I love you even you’re trying hard not to be romantic.” Jinyoung left the circle only to reach for his boyfriend and give him a kiss. The other five protested, but Mark responded to his kiss with passion. After a few minutes of PDA, Jaebeom and Jackson managed to disentangle them from each other and bring the author back to his place in the circle. Unwillingly, Jinyoung finally whispered a question in JB’s ear. The editor smirked and pointed to Jackson, saying his name out loud. Everybody knew the Chinese wouldn’t mind drinking his own smoothie, but when he flipped the coin, it landed on tails.

“Lim Jaebeom, you’d better not be defaming your boss.” Jackson said suspiciously. Jaebeom kept grinning from ear to ear. He was just teasing the Chinese since he knew the CEO was as curious as a cat. He often worried about what people thought of him.

“Just chill, Seunnah. It’s a good thing.” Jinyoung assured him and chuckled. Jaebeom proceeded to whisper a question to the Chinese. When the editor was done, Jackson squinted his eyes at his him. The CEO looked like he was about to curse, but he held it in and scanned the faces surrounding him. He considered his choices for a bit and then pointed to Jinyoung and Mark, saying their names out loud. The couple exchanged looks. A silent conversation seemed to happen between them, and apparently, a decision was made. They finished the jar of smoothie together and Jinyoung flipped the coin. It landed on tails. Jackson seemed relieved. The game had ended.

“What about we play something else now? Perhaps, mafia game?” Bambam suggested.

“We would love to. But Jae and I have to go home. It’s getting late. We gotta feed Coco and the cats.” Jaebeom announced as he stood up.

“We had a very good time, and I hope we do this kind of gathering more often. Thanks for having us, Jackson hyung. It was a lovely meal.” Youngjae also stood up and smiled as he approached the CEO and gave him a heartfelt hug.

“You guys cannot leave! I still can’t figure out why JB pointed at me during the game.” Jackson declared comically.

“Consider giving us a raise and I might tell you someday.” Jaebeom chuckled as he said his goodbyes to the others and Youngjae did the same.

“I’ll give you both the raise by the end of the month.” Jackson said desperately. The couple eyed him with interest. The others just observed the interaction. Only Jackson would go that far just to know what his friends thought of him. “I give you my word.” The Chinese added with a pleading look on his face. Youngjae and Jaebeom eyed each other and reached a verdict.

“Jin asked me ‘ _Who is most likely to receive a compliment about their hot body_?’ Jaebeom revealed quickly. His husband was also feeling charitable after hearing that he would get a raise, so he also opened up to the others.

“And I asked Yugyeom ‘ _Who is most likely to marry a foreigner?_ ’ Youngjae grinned when he saw the looks on the faces of the ones the maknae pointed to earlier. Jinyoung and Yugyeom seemed content. Mark scoffed, and Bambam turned as red as a tomato. The Thai rarely blushed, but he did. So he pretended he was mad at the rule breakers.

“Ya! This is against the rules. No one is supposed to tell-”

“Oh, you guys gotta hear this one! I asked Jacks, ‘ _If you were gay, or a straight girl, who would you date?_ ’ All of you could tell that he pondered the question for a few painful seconds, right?! He was trying hard not to be so obvious. And in the end, who would have thought that he would choose ‘Markjin’!?” Jaebeom exclaimed, ignoring Bambam’s protests about the game rules. Jackson even tried to cover JB’s mouth but it was too late, the editor kept teasing him. “Seunah, you three would definitely be a great throuple.” Everyone suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. The CEO didn’t. He pouted and almost shoved the couple out of his house. Youngjae and JB said their last goodbyes to everyone and left.

“I should definitely fire those two.” Jackson complained, as he returned to the living room with the other four.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed of fancying two guys at the same time.” Bambam smirked at him, as he sat beside his giggling boyfriend on the couch. Mark and Jinyoung were cuddling cosily on the comfortable shag rug spread out in the living room. They watched the Thai tortureee the Chinese nonstop. Now and then they grinned to each other, but said nothing.

“Shut up.” Jackson rolled his eyes at him, feeling quite self-conscious with the MarkJin couple there. The author and the American pretended to be too immersed in something else, like scrolling on their phone, but they were totally focused on their conversation.

“So hyung, which part of my cousin do you think is the most attractive?” Yugyeom and his boyfriend weren’t going to drop the subject so soon. Bambam high-fived his lover as soon as he noticed Jackson further embarrassment plastered on his face.

“Oh, please. I don’t fancy guys. It was a hypothetical question.” The Chinese argued. “By the way, you also pointed at me during the damn game, Bam. What was that about?” Jackson gave the Thai a puzzled look, but Bambam went suddenly quiet. His best friend chimed in then.

“I asked Bam ‘Who would you pay to perform a strip tease in front of you?’ I guess JB is not the only one who thinks you are the most likely to be complimented for having a nice body.” Mark revealed to Jackson and Jinyoung chuckled.

“Bam, what the hell?! Why did you choose Jackson hyung?” Yugyeom’s voice had an edge to it as he stood up and glared at his lover.

“What? It would make no sense if I said your name. You’re always doing striptease dances for me, and for free.” Bambam tried to reason with him.

“Hey Bam, that means you think of me naked?” Jackson teased, extremely satisfied with the change of subject. It was time for payback, now Bambam was the one looking like a deer in the headlights. “I could make your dreams come true, but let me tell you in advance, Team Wang’s CEO is not cheap.” He added, as he slapped his own butt in an exaggerated way and winked at the Thai playfully. Jinyoung and Mark burst into a fit of laughter.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” The maknae announced abruptly and walked into the direction of the staircase without looking back.

“Thanks, Jackson Fucking Wang!” Bambam exclaimed and followed his boyfriend out of the living room.

“Geez! They’re not coming back in a while. I bet they’re gonna have rough make-up sex in your bathroom.” Mark giggled.

“I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that this is exactly what they are doing right now.” Jackson scoffed, then looked at his watch and stood up quickly. “Damn, I’m late. Sorry guys, I have a flight to catch. Stay as much as you like, okay? I’ve gotta be in Hong Kong by tomorrow morning. Jin, you remember how to lock up, right? Make sure you do it when you guys leave. Keep an eye on those two upstairs.” He smirked and the author gave him the thumbs up.

“Maybe we should get going too.” Mark suggested to his boyfriend who still spooned him on the rug.

“Let’s just stay like this a bit more.” Jinyoung murmured to the American in a rather bedroom voice as he placed a hand on Mark’s hip bones and pulled him closer quite possessively. The older blushed. Jackson looked away from the two, then grabbed his key, a bag that was on the coffee table and ran to the door. He shouted an uncomfortable ‘bye’ to them and left the house in a hurry. As soon as the Chinese was out, Jinyoung started laughing at his panicked disconcert.

“I guess Seunnah wouldn’t say no if we invited him for a threesome.” The author joked.

“Maybe in another life.” Mark snorted humorously. “Man, that would be hot.” He added in a lustful voice. Jinyoung slapped his butt lightly in response.

“Don’t even think about it.” The writer said in a commanding voice. His stern tone sent shivers down Mark’s spine.

“Make me not think about it.” The American turned his head to him and bit his bottom lip. Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at him and ran a hand through his hair. Mark found that simply gesture extremely sexy. He couldn’t help but utter a quite familiar stimulating sound that his boyfriend knew very well.

“Babe, are you for real? Here?” He asked in an innocent tone, though he wasn’t feeling that innocent at all behind his boyfriend.

“Aren’t you horny after all this cuddling? I bet Jack saw your hard on pressed against my bum the whole time. You scared they guy to the point of making him get out of his own house.” Mark gave him a knowing look.

“He had a flight to catch. And I have a horny boyfriend to please.” Jinyoung whispered to him as he buried his nose in the American’s neck and slid a knee between his legs. “We gottta be quick though. The kids might come down here at any minute.”

“I don’t have a condom with me.” Mark said, giving the author a worried look. Jinyoung gave him a peck on the cheek and showed him the object he had just taken out of his pocket.

“I’m always prepared.” Jinyoung said as he waved the wrapper in front of his boyfriend.

“Shit, you’re so fucking perfect.” Mark murmured and his expression relaxed as he brought Jinyoung’s face closer to his for a kiss. He moaned into the younger’s lips when he felt him pull his pants and underwear down just enough to have access to his inner thighs. He heard the author also unzip his own pants behind him, and when he felt something hard against his butt crack, he knew his aroused lover had already pulled his penis out of it. Mark stroked Jinyoung’s strong biceps and pushed his butt towards him, as he felt the Korean slid his erection in the gap between his thighs and thrust into it. It felt good the skin to skin contact. Mark touched himself while Jinyoung slipped a hand under his shirt and played with his nipples. They both groaned as the friction of their bodies warmed them up, and their pace increased.

“I want you to come first.” Jinyoung whispered in Mark’s ear and nibbled on his earlobe. The American moaned when the Korean removed his hand from his dick and replaced it with his. Jinyoung’s handjobs were always amazing, and he knew he wouldn’t last long if his boyfriend kept used his finger skills on his utterly hard cock.

“I thought you wanted to fuck me.” Mark panted.

“I will. Soon. Don’t hold yourself back. I wanna feel you orgasm in my hand. You look so delicious and flushed when you do.” The Korean licked the side of his face and then descended his teeth on the older’s shoulder. The latter trembled all over, as his body responded to the younger’s tempting request. Mark came hard, shooting his seed on his lover’s hand. Jinyoung removed his dick from Marks thigh gap and carefully smeared Mark’s own semen around his hole. The older was so relaxed after his orgasm that it didn’t take long for him to loosen up when Jinyoung inserted a finger in his ass, or when the younger inserted a second one and started scissoring him. Now he understood why Jinyoung wanted him to come first. The author aimed to use his semen to prepare him, since they had no lube at the moment. The fingering lasted for a while, igniting another wave of arousal inside the older. Jinyoung spread kisses on his back and sniffed his hair while he put the condom on himself.

“Shit, you’re making me hard, again.” Mark murmured as he started to masturbate himself one more time.

“That’s the idea, babe.” Jinyoung whispered back and turned Mark’s face to his in order to kiss his lips. The American felt the younger’s thick length enter him slowly, as he deepened the kiss. The condom was there, but the feeling of his boyfriend filling him inside while sucking on his tongue was undoubtedly mind-blowing. “Damn, you’re so tight and warm.” The Korean said, as he broke the kiss. He heard Mark moan louder as he spread his lover’s butt cheeks and penetrated him as deeper as he could while squeezing his hip bones.

“I love you. Love me hard, Nyoungie.” Mark uttered, as he pulled his pant and underwear further down to his ankles, giving Jinyoung more room to explore him. The Korean groaned loudly when the older used his nickname in such a sultry tone. He started thrusting in and out of Mark nonstop. Their voices became louder as passion and lust guided their rhythmic movements. After a while, both their pants and underwear were scattered on the floor. Soon their shirts were gone too. At some point Jinyoung had lifted Mark’s top leg up, as he delivered more deep and vigorous thrusts inside of him. When they were both on the edge of their pleasure, Jinyoung decided that they shouldn’t be spooning anymore. So he changed his position and climbed on top of the American just to re-enter his hole again with more eagerness than before. They weren’t laid on their sides anymore, they were face to face now in missionary position. Mark was panting hard under Jinyoung, who placed one of the older’s legs on his shoulder and hammered inside him, faster and incessantly while pumping Mark’s erection. The American met his thrusts wantonly as he stroked his own dick with intense ardour.

Mark wanted Jinyoung to remain within him for the rest of his days. Only the Korean could light that interminable fire inside of him. It was painful to think that sensation would be over soon, and that they’d have to disjoint their limbs at some point. Only his boyfriend could make him feel like he was going to be split in two and somehow, become complete at the same time. They were indeed a piece of each other, just like the author had claimed they were on the pages of his last novel. Their moans and groans became more thunderous as their climax approached its peak. Jinyoung had already let go of his leg to lean closer to him, and give him a kiss. Mark took advantage of that position to wrap both his legs around the author’s waist and clench around him. He trapped his lover with his arms¸ pulling him impossibly closer to him as their chests heaved in unison. Jinyoung knew he was hitting his lover prostate from that angle. He beheld Mark lose himself in the throes of ecstasy as the older arched his back and bucked his hips in time with his thrusts. Jinyoung moaned as he felt he could sink deeper into him. Mark’s toes curled and an untameable mewl escaped his throat. That tantalizing sight mixed with the erotic symphony slipping from the American’s mouth made Jinyoung’s whole groin area tense up and his dick spasm. Everything went numb, except for that amazing sensation convulsing in the part of his body which linked him to Mark. The living room disappeared, his mind shut off. He couldn’t focus on anything else but the warmth around him and threatening to come out of him. It was if only he and Mark together could build that nameless feeling enclosing them. Their bodies didn’t exist, just that indescribable momentum of relief. For a split second, the burden of knowing that they were two different living beings was gone. Their individuality had dissolved into one, they were dying to reborn as a symbiotic masterpiece. Jinyoung felt like he was getting to the top of a roller coaster and then delivering himself to that unique acceptance of exhilarating freedom.

“You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.” He whispered to his boyfriend, and smiled. “I’m home.” Jinyoung announced as he discharged his semen in the condom. Mark ejaculated seconds later.

“Love you too. Welcome home.” Mark muttered, as he embraced his boyfriend and tried to breathe normally again. He felt relaxed, almost drowsy. Jinyoung laid on top of him for a while, similarly spent. He couldn’t believe that the youngsters hadn’t heard them at some point. He wondered what the rascals were doing.

“Nyoungie, we have to get up. I really don’t want to, but we must. This is not our home and we’re not alone. I don’t want those two to walk in on us.” Mark murmured tiredly.

“All right.” Jinyoung sat up slowly after kissing his boyfriend’s forehead. Before he decided to get to clean up themselves and the mess they had done on the Chinese’s rug, he saw the screen of his cell phone light up. He quickly grabbed it from the couch and couldn’t help but smirk as soon as he checked the message on the screen.

_‘Now we know which couple is most likely to make a sex tape! You guys are hot as fuck. Yuggie might become scarred for seeing his cousin like that but he’ll survive. We left quietly so you guys could finish your business in peace. You can thank me later. Have a nice fuck._ ’

Bam.

Attached to the message there was a picture of the author and Mark fucking on the expensive rug of that living room. Jinyoung admired it for a while. He definitely had to keep that one. Mark looked gorgeous bottoming for him. He always did. The writer didn’t think the older would like to learn about the existence of that picture though. So, he just kept quiet about it.

“Jinyoungie?” Mark called his name softly, distracting him from his phone.

“Yeah, babe?” Jinyoung asked, as he deleted Bambam’s message and saved the picture to himself.

“About the question Youngjae asked Yugyeom during the game…”

“Yeah?” Jinyoung threw his phone back on the couch and found a timid Mark staring intensely at him. After their heated lovemaking the younger didn’t even remember half of the questions their friends used while playing paranoia earlier, so he was finding hard to grasp what the older was trying to say.

“I think…No, I’m sure that I’m ready.” Mark said a bit anxiously, as he sat in front of the oblivious Korean.

“I don’t get it babe. Ready for what?” Jinyoung furrowed his brows, and he felt his boyfriend’s trembling hands held his. “Babe, you’re shaking-”

“I, I wanna get engaged to you as soon as possible. I want to marry you, Park Jinyoung. And yes, I want a family. Kids and a dog. I want the whole package. Are you still willing to be my husband?”

**Author's Note:**

> Are you still here?  
> Brace yourself for more.


End file.
